← The Church of What's Happening Now: The New Testament
The Church of What's Happening Now: The New Testament
Getting raided by the DEA with "Myron," retired DEA
02:07:09
Joey Diaz and Lee Syatt are joined by retired DEA, "Myron." Myron talks his path from finance student, to prison guard, to a decades long DEA career that included countless undercover operations, the process of obtaining and utilizing confidential...
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- [00:00]
Joey Diaz
What's happening, you savages? It's Tuesday, the 25th of March. That's it. It's a beautiful day to be alive. This is the church. New Testament. Let's get this party started. Gentlemen, what's happening? Beautiful people. Uncle Joey here. It's March 25th. Yes. Listen, I want to talk to you about something. Summertime is coming. You know what that means? It's time to head down to pound town. Da da da da da. You need to be able to get that thing up there. And that's where Uncle Joey comes in. Bluechew makes sure you're ready whenever the mood arises. Whether you're on the beach, under the tunnel, wherever you're at, you're ready to go. Sign up@bluechew.com, meet with one of their licensed medical providers, and once you get approved, forget about it. Your prescription will be there in days. Bluechew works. They're serious. They come in little pouches. You put one in your wallet, and when you're ready for war, bam, there you are. Anyway, no more wishing. No more praying for your little fucking dick to work. Those days are over with. Make life easier by getting harder. And discover your options@bluechew.com. it's summertime. These women got tons of options. Tons of options. So you better show up with a cape, a helmet and a box of Blue Chew. Now this is what I'm going to do for these nice people. You can get bluechew for free for one month. That's right. You can try it on your own. After you try it for one month, you're going to go, joey, where have you been all my life? It's that easy. First month, Bluechew for free. When you press in, promo code, Joey, J, O, E Y. Again, Joey, J O E y. Just pay $5 for shipping. That's promo code, Joey. Visit bluechew.com for more details and important safety information. And I want to thank Bluechew sponsoring the show and for helping young men sling some dick in 2025. You know what I'm saying? It's the summertime. Fourth of July is coming. I love you guys.
- [02:13]
Myron
Welcome back to church.
- [02:33]
Joey Diaz
Yo, we're back. Like a hemorrhoid. What's going on, guys? It's a beautiful week. It's gonna be tremendous. We got a guest today. A sensational guest. His name is Myron. That's it.
- [02:45]
Myron
All right.
- [02:45]
Joey Diaz
You ever see that? Bullets Over Broadway. When the guy would call fucking Chaz Palmer. It's just Cheech. But Mr. Cheech. T T, T, T, it's just Cheech. That's how it's gonna be tonight. This is Myron, a dear friend, family, and as usual, our Jewish friend, Mr. Lee over there.
- [03:04]
Lee
Definitely not family.
- [03:05]
Joey Diaz
What's up, my brother?
- [03:06]
Lee
Good to see you, dude.
- [03:07]
Joey Diaz
How was your weekend?
- [03:08]
Lee
My weekend was great. I had a good weekend in Boston. Did a bunch of shows.
- [03:11]
Joey Diaz
That's what I heard.
- [03:12]
Lee
It went awesome.
- [03:12]
Joey Diaz
They called me from the bar. They said it was a nightmare.
- [03:15]
Lee
Oh, the bar was Saturday, got canceled. So I went and did just a bar in Dorchester.
- [03:21]
Joey Diaz
And sometimes. Sometimes you just gotta go home and hug mom.
- [03:26]
Myron
You know what I'm saying?
- [03:26]
Lee
I like it. It's funny.
- [03:27]
Myron
Funny.
- [03:28]
Lee
Just yell into the abyss.
- [03:30]
Joey Diaz
You're a fucking trip. You know what?
- [03:32]
Lee
How was your weekend?
- [03:33]
Joey Diaz
My weekend was peaceful. It's tough not having fucking teeth, you know. The bridge broke, you gotta get a fucking steak. You're there chewing like a fucking. You know, It's a nightmare. You know, they can't even put em in till June or some shit.
- [03:51]
Lee
Till June?
- [03:52]
Joey Diaz
Yeah, because they have to dig it out and remove two teeth that are still good. Two teeth that go to waste. Like fucking waste. And they want like 15 grand a fucking tooth. And the insurance they pay for like the towels and anesthesia and like a cleaning. What else? Without these teeth, how am I going to fucking survive? But anyway, what are you going to fucking do, you know? We live, we get stronger and we get better, you bad motherfuckers. And don't forget Friday, you can't eat meat Lent. You know what I'm saying? Remember that. Whether you're eating that monkey, whatever you want to eat, you got to give it a pass. Nothing fucking. You got to sit there with the white cape on and look up at the sky and wait for Jesus to touch you. All right, that's enough of the fucking religious moment. What's going on, my brother?
- [04:38]
Myron
Well, not much.
- [04:39]
Joey Diaz
Great to have you here.
- [04:40]
Myron
Thank you. Thank you.
- [04:41]
Joey Diaz
The reason why I wanted to bring you in is because you had an occupation. That was one of my favorite occupations of all time, which is being a police officer. You know, I wanted to be an attorney. And then I got four years and that dream went out the window. You know what I'm saying? Sometimes your dreams just go down the shit up. So, you know, it's always been fascinating to me. Like from a regular North Bergen cop to a Hudson county cop to an FBI agent and then the dea, you know. And I became in love with all this shit. Believe it or not, when I watched the first year of narcos.
- [05:18]
Myron
Okay.
- [05:18]
Joey Diaz
Yeah, I just. I just didn't know that they were saying. When the DEA started, it was in D.C. it was a little office over a strip club that nobody even knew they fucking existed. And they went from. Just like we did. They went from a big bus with a pound of weed with some sandals. Some hippie dude maybe had some speed. And then they started getting kilos of coke. And then the machine guns came out, and it was so fucking surreal for them. Like, I don't watch all the bullshit stories. I'll just read. I'll just buy a book at Barnes and Nobles and I'll just read about that whole thing. Even though you came out in 90, the shitstorm was in full fucking blast. You had the fucking New York mobsters going off. You had New Jersey mobsters going off. You had tons of drugs coming into this fucking area. Sure, about a shitload. And then that's when. Not really. There was still a couple Quaaludes around. I don't know.
- [06:16]
Myron
I never did a Quaalude.
- [06:18]
Joey Diaz
No, you didn't need to do a Quaalude.
- [06:20]
Myron
We did ecstasy, though. We did a lot of ecstasy. You're in the dea, Drug Enforcement Administration. Yes, sir.
- [06:25]
Joey Diaz
So you were telling me you went to Fairleigh Dickinson Run with it.
- [06:28]
Myron
So I was in Fairleigh Dickinson, first off. I went to Woodbridge High School. So I'm a New Jersey guy. I graduated, you know, Woodbridge high back in 83. I played basketball, and I ended up playing basketball at Fairleigh Dickinson. After a year, I said to myself, because we had to be there, like, a lengthy time during winter and everything, I says it wasn't for me. And I just stuck to my studies. And I was a finance major, believe it or not. And I ended up doing what I'm about to talk about. So I went from being a finance major to basically being a law enforcement guy. I graduated in 1987 from Fairleigh Dickinson. And then shortly thereafter, I made my way to the DEA. The process started, I believe, in 1990. They had a hiring freeze. So I had to wait. Like, actually started in 88. Excuse me, let me set that back. I ended up getting hired in 90. There was a hiring freeze for, like, two years, so I had to wait in between. Then I worked in a prison, a local, you know, a county jail.
- [07:25]
Joey Diaz
So, yeah, what kind of education was that in the county?
- [07:28]
Myron
I mean, it was. I tell you what, once they lock the doors and you're in there with 150 guys and, you know, you don't have any weapons. You don't have any clubs. And to be honest with you, maybe the guy you're working with, you know, you have two guys in a pod. He might be like 5 foot 6, maybe 130 pounds. And, you know, I was pretty in shape, but, you know, you had. Again, you had a lot of people in there, so you had to be on your P's and Q's. You had to, you know, like, watch your back, you know, because there was a lot of fighting going on, a lot of people getting shanked. I remember one little story, and I'll tell it quickly. This white dude came in and, you know, off to the side, I said to him, watch your sneakers because someone's going to take them. You know, lo and behold, about three hours later, I hear, oh, boom, boom, boom. I go upstairs, One of the guys from the pod took a. What do you call those? Mop ringers and busted them over the head. And I tell you, it was the worst sight. Then when I saw that, I was like, holy shit. You know what I mean? I really got to watch because there was, like, brains on tile. I mean, it wasn't that bad, but the guy was bleeding very badly. And I was like, holy shit, man. Excuse me.
- [08:41]
Joey Diaz
Took the sneakers.
- [08:42]
Myron
Yeah, they took his stickers and they took his underwear, you know. Yeah. But, you know, that was my first major incident, and that happened quick. So why did. That woke me up?
- [08:52]
Lee
Why did you go from a finance, Like. Yeah, as a. I would go to a finance major to avoid doing shit like that. And then you. Why. Why did you switch?
- [09:01]
Myron
You know what I mean? I was. I always loved numbers. I mean, to be honest with you, growing up, when I was a little kid, my mom used to play blackjack with me, poker. And, you know, I was always good at math and stuff. So I said, you know, maybe I'll be like an investment banker. Maybe I'll be an accountant. So as it ends up as I get out of school, I actually did pretty well in school. I graduated top 10% of my class. And make a long story short, again, I got a job here in Hackensack at United Jersey bank, which then became Summit bank, which then became bank of America. But I lasted, like, like one year because, I mean, the people I was hanging with, like, when I went to work. Right. I mean, it's got to be fun, too. You know what I mean? You just can't go to work in, like, crunch numbers because you. You go insane.
- [09:46]
Lee
Yeah, banks aren't that fun.
- [09:48]
Myron
No, no, I mean, it's nice when you get a lollipop when, when you're young and you know, you smile, you know, if you, if you put your $5 in the kettle.
- [09:55]
Lee
When you saw the brains on the wall, did you at all think about going back to the bank or.
- [09:58]
Myron
I thought about doing anything else but where I was, man, especially because I had nothing on me. You know, you only have your mouth and like, your mouth and like just your instincts. But I did like, you know, from working inside the jail, you develop a lot of instincts because you can't use anything else but like your brain, you.
- [10:14]
Lee
Know, they don't give you anything.
- [10:15]
Myron
They don't give you walkie talkie. You could hit the panic button. By the time I hit the panic button, it take about maybe five minutes before anybody to come in. So you're on your own.
- [10:25]
Lee
Why don't they give you a stick? Not anything.
- [10:27]
Myron
Because they're afraid that if they gave you any kind of weapon that somebody would use that against you. And back in the day when I was there, and I'll tell you, it was Middlesex County, I still have, I think one or two people still working there. I mean, there was always a lot of people in that jail. So, like, when you came into that particular location, they would put you in depot and no shit, I think it would probably house like 40 people. But what ended up happening was we had to get all mats to put on the ground because there were so many people breaking the law back then, even now too. But I think they don't allow all those people in a particular pod. But there was like 160 people with, with two officers like checking them, you know, so. So like, if something went wrong, to be honest with you, you're fine, you're. But I used to play games in there with them. They loved me. They called me Robo because I would have like talent competitions. No, so. So what I would do is I'd give them the mic, you know what I mean, the PA and, and some of the brothers would sing, some other people would dance, and some other people would do like some, some comedy and shit. And whoever did the best, you know what I mean? We'd actually like vote on it, you know, and I would give them two cheeseburgers from the, from the grill, you know, because I brought it in, you know what I mean, from the kitchen staff. So that was cool. It kind of gave you a little respect where they knew that, you know, at least I was taking care of them. But then again, they probably, you Know, do whatever they needed to do with me, you know, if they needed to.
- [11:51]
Joey Diaz
So, you know, I always loved stand up. But where it came to life was when I got locked up, you know? And you just brought up a memory. Like, one of the nights they showed the worst movies. It was in the cafeteria, and they showed the worst PT109. Like those old. And this is 1988, and they're showing these black and white movies. But every night, every time that a movie night, the projector broke. There were those old projectors, old porno projectors. And it would break. It would break. And I don't know what happened. I think now in my mind, I see the guard. He was a chubby dude.
- [12:30]
Myron
Yeah.
- [12:32]
Joey Diaz
A little tanned. He wasn't Spanish. He was something else. And he came over to me and he goes, you love talking shit in the kitchen. Why don't you get up on stage? Why don't you get up on the table? I was like, I don't know. And then I heard some of the black guys saying, get him up there.
- [12:51]
Myron
How old were you, Bob?
- [12:54]
Joey Diaz
I was 25 years old.
- [12:56]
Myron
Yeah, see, I was there in 88, too. That's when I started.
- [12:58]
Joey Diaz
No, but I was in Colorado.
- [12:59]
Myron
Oh, okay.
- [13:00]
Joey Diaz
Oh, yeah.
- [13:01]
Myron
That's a little different than yours.
- [13:02]
Joey Diaz
I was in a complete different fucking state. But it always stuck with me. Like, in fact, I was just talking to somebody about the confidence I got doing whatever I was doing on Wednesday nights. It was like three months of it, right? And I was doing everything then. I was a Jamaican. I was the attorney, right? I was the fucking house attorney. So if you got into a beef, I went to see the little judge with you, and we cut a deal. You got to do laundry for eight weeks. You can't eat bread, you know, shit like that. And then I took over pretty much the entertainment.
- [13:37]
Myron
Yeah.
- [13:38]
Joey Diaz
So we would go in. But it's really weird that I didn't forget. I knew I always did stand up in there. But till you said that you were the guy, did the talent contest. I was like, Jesus Christ. God bless people like you.
- [13:52]
Myron
Yeah. I'm gonna be honest with you. That's definite. I mean, because, you know, you get bored in there, too, because what's in there, you gotta, like. You had, like, a little tv, like you said. They would do that movie night, and then chow time would come up and everybody would go nuts because they want their Slim Jims, they want their Reese's Day, you know what I mean? And. And then the meds, you know, all of a Sudden you hear, meds, meds up, meds up. Everybody would run. Everybody was on meds, you know, so, you know, that's just the way it was.
- [14:17]
Joey Diaz
And, yeah, Tuesdays and Thursday, you get commissary.
- [14:20]
Myron
Yeah. And it came in a little brown back.
- [14:22]
Joey Diaz
You take a shower and ready for that.
- [14:26]
Myron
But that was problem. That was problem night, too. Because then people would be heisting people. Give me your bag. You know, now I got to go over there and, you know, most of the time, I just turn the other way and let them handle it. Because most of the times, what would happen? To be honest with you, they wouldn't fight because they were scared. Some of them would, though. And you knew which ones to stay away from.
- [14:45]
Joey Diaz
I think in lower capacity, like, I got four years and I was in Boulder.
- [14:51]
Myron
Yeah.
- [14:51]
Joey Diaz
And right away, they told me, when I went in, they go, we got overcrowding. You're getting shipped to Texas or Oklahoma. And I'm like, what? And they're like, sit tight. We'll let you know. Then three days later, they came and got me. And I go, where the fuck am I going? They go, you're going to Summit County Jail.
- [15:09]
Myron
Oh, okay.
- [15:10]
Joey Diaz
I was like, summit County? This ain't in Jersey.
- [15:12]
Myron
I was thinking, jersey?
- [15:13]
Joey Diaz
Yeah. This is Colorado. This is a fucking ski resort.
- [15:15]
Myron
Oh, shit.
- [15:16]
Joey Diaz
And all of a sudden, I'm in a ski resort. And they're like. I go, where's my prison uniform? They're like, ah, wear what the fuck you want. And it was maybe 20 people, 20 of us, but it was like 20 of us. And there were like, maybe four guards. And I thought I was locked up. I was going to a state. I was waiting to go to a state prison. And like, the first night, the guy comes to me and he goes, diaz, what do you want? I'm like, what are you talking about? He goes, what do you want? I go, commissary. He goes, fuck commissary. We go to Safeway. They would go to Safeway.
- [15:52]
Myron
There you go. You had it good.
- [15:53]
Joey Diaz
Oh, my God. And they had cable tv, carpeting. We played handball outside with whatever clothes you had. But I met an interesting dude in there that had a great story, and I read his paperwork. This motherfucker got in trouble. He got caught with two kilos of coke. He sold it to the FBI. Forget what his name was. New York City guy, he got in trouble. He got pinched. And part of his deal was to buy 2 kilos with these two undercover cops inside. Are you ready for what? This motherfucker did he got a house that he knew was already vacant? He set it up inside with a light. He went in and he dug like a little path and he came out. He took the money, the two kilos of coke and he went. He came back to New York for like eight years.
- [16:48]
Myron
I mean, the guy that they wanted to.
- [16:50]
Joey Diaz
The feds couldn't find him. They had the whole neighborhood staked out. This motherfucker slipped right through him.
- [16:55]
Myron
It was the FBI, though, right?
- [16:56]
Joey Diaz
It was the FBI.
- [16:57]
Myron
It wouldn't have been the dea.
- [16:58]
Joey Diaz
No, they let him slip right through. He was there because they caught him eight years later. And now he was looking at like 28 fucking years.
- [17:05]
Lee
Oh, no.
- [17:06]
Joey Diaz
Tremendous. This was a great program they ran up there. Anyway, I'm sorry.
- [17:10]
Myron
That's all right. That's funny because it reminds me of something quick that I'm going to just talk about. And I won't really mention an office, but we have like 19, 20 offices. But there was an office that locked up two guys. And let's say this is about maybe like 12, 14 years ago. So what ended up happening was there was a big marathon that most of the agents, and there wasn't many agents in this particular group that they went to this marathon after they locked the guy up and they thought somebody was still with the guy, taking care of him. So it was a Friday, you know what I mean? So this guy is in one of our lockups, you know, our cell blocks. Because what happens is we have a holding tank and then we'll take you. Like if it was Eastern District or Southern District, we'd take you to Brooklyn or Manhattan. But this guy, for some reason, they forgot that he was there. So this guy stayed in. He stayed in the holding tank. No, for three days. And nobody was there. So he didn't eat anything, but he was drinking from the toilet bowl. So thank God that, you know, we have a toilet bowl in there. But I tell you what, I mean, a lot of you, you're laughing all and stuff. The guy, I think come away with like 6 million because there was a massive lawsuit. And this is legit, you know, this is what happened.
- [18:23]
Lee
How do you forget about somebody?
- [18:24]
Joey Diaz
That's what.
- [18:25]
Myron
That's what we all said. But again, I won't mention the office and my own people, but it did happen.
- [18:29]
Joey Diaz
6 million for toilet water?
- [18:32]
Myron
Yeah, I would do that too.
- [18:33]
Joey Diaz
I would do that too.
- [18:35]
Myron
I might eat my own shift.
- [18:36]
Joey Diaz
Yeah, I use it as skin cleanser. Yeah, right. It might even hit. People wash themselves with their own feces. It's a hit. You know, Gloria, Stefan is doing.
- [18:47]
Lee
How long did it take him to start drinking from the toilet?
- [18:49]
Myron
I mean, I think. I think the guy was a little high, too. You know, it was a couple of kilos they got him with. But I think it was, like, the next day because I think he was still, like, yelling for people and, like, you know, like, nobody came, you know, he's banging from what he says on the. You know, the toilet bowl is, like, metal, so he's banging on it. You know what I mean? Nobody's coming. They're all at a marathon, you know, they're going, like, in Vegas, right? So, you know, I'm talking about a division that's close to Vegas, but, you know, sometimes shit happens, man, you know?
- [19:18]
Joey Diaz
So what were your three first years in the DA about?
- [19:21]
Myron
Oh, Jesus, my first day. I mean, it was. It was amazing. I mean, I came in full of piss and vinegar. I had a nice suit on. So they said, you're going to group D22, you know, so I says, okay. So I go, I meet the guys. They're all laughing at me because I got a suit on, you know, I go, well, you know, it's the first day. He goes, take the suit off. You know, okay, we're going out tonight. So I go, what are we going to do? What are we going to do? You know? And it's like 10 guys, 12 guys to a group, you know, everybody has their own car. You have your own desk. We're going to the Washington Heights, okay, where the Dominicans are. So I go, let's go. You know. So I go in the car with my senior partner, and I'm riding shotgun. He's talking to me. We got a deal going with. We have two of our informants, and they're meeting with some Dominicans, and we got, like, transmitters going, and everything's. You know, we're watching everything. All of a sudden, the hit signal goes, you know, get out, get out. We got to go get them, you know? So now I get out of the car with my partner, and I was in good shape because I just came to the academy, so I was one of the first ones there. And I got. I got one of the guys that went in the bodega on the ground. Everybody else started scattering, because, again, you're in the heist. They think you're coming for everybody, you know? No, there was kilos coming out of the window. You know what I mean? Money. And. And I'm in a bodega, and we're looking for two other guys that. That escaped. So I. I left a guy with one of our other guys, and three of us or four of us went off looking in the streets for these guys. We were going through apartments, and no, one of my partner, he was carrying a machine gun, and he goes, take the machine gun. And I go, what do you mean? I never was even trained on a machine gun. Even in academy. We only shot it a couple of times. So I just threw this. I remember when I was running, it was hitting me in the head. I was like, oh, Jesus. I had, like, lumps on my head. But we ended up not getting the rest of the guys. But the moral of the story, I mean, it was the first. It was a fun first day. And the thing I vividly remember. So now you. You make the arrest, right? You go back to the office. Now they're having the new guy process them and do all that, you know, taking pictures. Now I got to stay all night with the guy, you know what I mean? And then in the morning, I got to take the guy to a Raymond. So it was a long day. I think, honestly, I probably slept like 20 hours after that, you know, to get. To get my energy back. But it was fun. And I was like, wow, this is where I want to be. This is fun. I mean, you know, it's not the bank. You know what I mean? So, yeah, it was far cry from the bank. So.
- [21:46]
Joey Diaz
So what you're telling me is when you. When you rob a bank, it's the best day of their lives?
- [21:50]
Myron
Yeah.
- [21:51]
Joey Diaz
Yeah, absolutely. Yeah.
- [21:53]
Myron
You got to have that. I love that.
- [21:54]
Joey Diaz
They see the manager get bitch slapped. Papa, give me the safe.
- [21:59]
Myron
Yeah.
- [22:00]
Lee
Why. Why does the DEA go and not the cops? Like, why are you brought in? Are they just bigger people?
- [22:06]
Myron
I mean, it really depends on, like, you work, like, for instance, in New York. I was always in New York. I had to do a tour in D.C. when you're in New York, there's about 20 groups here, and each group specializes in possibly something. So, like. And then you make your own cases, you know, so, like, we'll. I mean, you make cases based on informants. If you don't have informants, you're not going to make cases. But we did make cases, and I'll get to that later. In Brooklyn without informants, and that was difficult. But, I mean, once you get your recall, once you get your horses, your informants, they're just setting up deals. And you could do deals basically every night. I mean, you really don't want to, because then you're in jail. Excuse me? You're not in jail. You're in court all week long. And you got to do other things. So, I mean, it's not like we're doing bigger cases. We are. But, you know, we got to remember one thing, too, that the DEA has a lot of money. So in order to make buys, like what I'll get into later on, like, if you're with nypd, the most you're going to do a buy for is like four or five hundred dollars, where I was, like, giving, like, 40,000 to people.
- [23:06]
Lee
Jesus.
- [23:07]
Myron
You know, and letting it walk and doing it two or three times. So, I mean, how hard is it.
- [23:12]
Lee
To get to convince someone to be an informant? Because I think I'd flip immediately.
- [23:19]
Myron
No disrespect. I think you'd probably flip a few seconds.
- [23:22]
Lee
I would. I would offer it immediately. Like. But, like, some people, like, they act like they're not going to do it. I would. Was it hard to flip people?
- [23:30]
Myron
Not really. Because when we. I mean, let's just take, for instance, like, in the Heights, when we work the Heights. Right, right. We would do crack cases. So there was mandatory sentencing, federal guidelines, where if we got them with 50 grams of crack, you're definitely doing 10 years. That's a. That's a long, long tour. You know what I mean? Right. The Dominicans, to be honest with you, because they didn't speak much English back then. They didn't really know what the. Was going on. So you'd bring them back to cell blocks, they wouldn't talk. Right. And they wouldn't talk, and they just like. You know what I mean? And I just say, you know, we'd all. My group would say, let's just take them down. We're tired. Three, four days later, they'd be crying, you know. Now all of a sudden, they're speaking English to the attorneys. Hey, can you get me out of here? You know what I mean? I go, well, your time might be lost because, like, people know you're in jail now. But to be honest with you, I was always a decent guy when people, you know, cooperated, because I feel people make mistakes. You know what I mean? And if you make a mistake, you know what I mean? Instead of doing 10 years, perhaps, you know, with the judge's approval and some letters written to attorneys and stuff, maybe they'll do like five or six or sometimes maybe it'll do like zero. Like, you know, depending on what the circumstances are. So.
- [24:40]
Lee
And can you stop being an informant, or are you Just an informing forever.
- [24:43]
Myron
Now, we let you know when you stop.
- [24:47]
Joey Diaz
You get shot in the head.
- [24:48]
Myron
No, I mean. And you know what?
- [24:49]
Joey Diaz
They come to the funeral. Your son was a great informant.
- [24:53]
Myron
Yeah, yeah, thanks a lot. He did a great job.
- [24:55]
Joey Diaz
You know, a great job.
- [24:57]
Myron
But. But you know what? Yeah, I mean, some people, to be honest with, I. I had people that just came in that just wanted to be an informant because. Let's just say you were doing a money case, okay? Meaning, like you're looking for like a million dollars. You're looking to do a reverse on somebody. Instead of buying cocaine, you're saying you have cocaine or you have heroin, right? If somebody shows up, let's just say with, you know, 200,000 and stuff, okay? And we come and we lock you up, you know, federally. I mean, it's a conspiracy. You're still going to get hit for, you know, what you were negotiating for. But what ends up happening is we collect the money. Now, if the informant was not a defendant informant, we would put it in for 25% of that cut. Cut. So for instance, I would cut a check, not me personally, but it would come from headquarters. Maybe six months later, that person might get like 60, 70,000. And let's just say you're doing a million dollars. Let's say you're doing. We. I had informants that made more money than probably my whole group. And you know what, it was like, we'd be like, maybe I should just stop and become an informant because here I am not making peanuts. But, you know, you know, these guys are making real money, you know, So.
- [26:07]
Lee
I didn't know they got paid like that. That's pretty cool.
- [26:09]
Myron
Yeah, you can put them in for 25. Like I said, some guys would just walk in and say, hey, I know somebody who's got money. And you know, you take it from there and we're not going to turn them down. So, you know, it was fun. It was. I tell you what, it was a blast. Man, I wish I was back there, you know, I mean, still doing it. But I tell you, the commute for me, and I'm talking about silly shit now, but the commute was horrible because I lived down south, you know what I mean? So every day you'd have to make that trek down. And you know, sometimes, you know, 9:30, 10:00 at night, you're looking like the fucking Holland Tunnel is jammed up. And I'm like saying to myself, what are you doing waxing the fucking tiles again? You know, it's like you never Got home, you know, it was hard, especially if you had kids.
- [26:51]
Joey Diaz
So now, when did. Before you started making buys and all that stuff, do they actually train you?
- [26:58]
Myron
I mean, you really can't train someone to make a buy. I mean, we had, like, undercover classes, I mean, which is silly. Over at the academy, most of the people. I'm gonna be honest with you, and I'm not trying to tap myself on the back or whatever, but for a white guy, I did a lot undercover, you know, and I enjoyed it because I don't mind getting in front of people and talking if I don't know them. If I do know them, I don't give a. If I make a fool out of myself, you know, And a lot of people asked me to do undercover for their cases. So I've. I've done. I did a lot. You know what I mean? And that was fun. That was the best part of the job for me, doing the undercover. I, frankly, didn't like doing surveillance because, you know, you'd have to sit on somebody for 10 hours. You might not see, you know, maybe hear a dog barking in the place, or maybe the guy finally leaves his house, but he goes to Burger King and goes back, you know? But you need the surveillance, you know what I mean? You gotta. You gotta keep eyes on these guys to see, you know, what they're doing, who they're meeting with. And a lot of these guys are night owls. So, I mean, a lot of times you gotta stay there a long time. You just don't. You just don't leave. You know what I mean? You gotta leave when the boss says go. And if you had a good boss, sometimes he let you go a little early.
- [27:59]
Joey Diaz
But, you know, tough to have a marriage with that job.
- [28:03]
Myron
It was rough. Yeah. I gave my wife, obviously, you know, Denise, I mean, a lot of credit because we had two sons and, you know, they were in school and she had to do everything. And, you know, by time I got home, I tell you, she had, you know, food on the table, you know, even if I came home late, so. And then the kids would be in bed, so I missed a lot of the kids, you know, different things that they were doing with sports or with school, school functions, their friends. I missed all that and that then. And that's. That's horrible, you know, so it's just.
- [28:33]
Joey Diaz
Crazy because for years, as George knows, I'm a Miami Vice fan.
- [28:38]
Myron
Yeah.
- [28:38]
Joey Diaz
Like, so was everybody else my age at the time. And I remember, like, guys going to buy 10 kilos and not doing a Line of coke? Yeah, like just looking at it with a tube and give him the money. And the guy would leave. I'm like, bitch, I gotta see you do something. That's always been my thing. And then I got locked up, and it's a federal case, okay? So they arrested me for, like, three hours, and they put me in a federal bin in Boulder. But I was in there with some dude who I'd never seen before. He was dressed like he was going to a fucking. A Michael Jackson party. This motherfucker had, like, a tuxedo on. The tuxedo was loose. The. Like Elvis. Not Elvis, but like, Tom Jones.
- [29:25]
Myron
Yeah.
- [29:25]
Joey Diaz
He would let the tuxedo top off.
- [29:27]
Myron
What's new, pussycat?
- [29:28]
Joey Diaz
Fucking guy was beautiful. Sharp hair, moussed up. You know, you could tell he had dunk coke for, like, four days. And we started talking, and, you know, I go, what happened? And he's like, dog, this is the wildest thing. And we just started talking, talking. And he said that he went on a trip with a girl and another couple, and on the way back, that guy was a fucking undercover fed. But he goes, he was doing coke with me line for line.
- [30:00]
Myron
And I'm like, nah, the guy was bullshitting, man.
- [30:03]
Joey Diaz
But then you watch a movie like Rush, and I know you've seen that.
- [30:07]
Myron
I try not to watch. But I tell you what, I enjoyed Narcos and stuff like that.
- [30:10]
Joey Diaz
No, not Narco. Yeah, yeah, the movie with the guitar player, the crazy piano player. He dated Cher, George. He owned. He was the piano playing that band that does the Allman Brothers. Did you ever see that movie?
- [30:24]
Myron
I probably did, but it's not coming to me right now.
- [30:27]
Joey Diaz
You know, it's a movie about. He's. He's like a kingpin somewhere. But the moral of the story is Jason Patrick, Jackie Gleason's grandson, and a pretty girl from Fast Times, they become undercover agents. But their boss is Sam. Whatever his name is, and he just tells them, you got to get high with these people. And these guys go off the fucking deep end, and then they go to a rehab. By the time they go to court, they look like, you know, Johnny Verucci. And there's no blood test. There's no. There's. They pissed positive. They shaved their head. I don't know. Yeah, you know, have you heard of this shit? Or is this just jailhouse bullshit?
- [31:10]
Myron
Nah, I mean, like he says, it is probably a story, but, like, when I was doing my things or anybody does their things, if you're dealing with, like, legit businessmen. Because you know, you know, you might be thinking about maybe some mutts on the street, you know what I mean, Some kids or some. But you know, with the dea, most of the times what we were dealing with, normally, I mean, you'd have to start low. Sometimes you're talking, these are businessmen, Colombians, you know what I mean? Mexicans now, right, it be the Italians. So I mean, these guys ain't really doing this. So like when I was posing and doing some of my things and stuff, I mean, nobody would even ask me that. And I met some pretty top heavy people. And you know what I would just be like if they asked me? I'd be like, get the. I don't do that, you know what I mean? I just make money off it. I mean, you know, that's just poison, you know, so, you know, could be stories. I, I know, you know, with the dea, I mean, that doesn't go down at all. But again, it depends on who you work. Like, you know, I would never go, although I have done this. I mean, you're not supposed to go in people's houses and stuff like that or in part apartments or nightclubs and shit. I've done that on a lot of occasions. Yeah, but they don't want you going in because then surveillance doesn't see you. I mean, I have a story I don't even want to. I have so many trillion stories.
- [32:21]
Joey Diaz
I mean, like on the way home, there's a club, you know, where people hang out. Yeah, and on the way home, before you go home, you stop and then get a drink, see what's going on in your neighborhood. I thought it was like that, that.
- [32:31]
Myron
No, I'm talking about like if I'm going even to go make a buy. And I mean, it was times that, you know, I would go and be honest with you, I have a drink or two before I go in and make a buy and you know, I'll tell you, I'll give you one quick story. I don't know how it's going to come out. My memory is a little shot, but one of the guys from DEA was working this guy, he was a Russian guy, he was a big, about 6, 5, 3 Hyundai. And I didn't know him from Adam, nor did the DEA agent that had the case, but apparently he killed a cop in Queens, you know, so they're like, hey, Myron, you know, I'm like, what, you think you could try to meet this guy? I'm like, do you know him? Do you have an informant? No, you have a phone number? I got a phone number. So I end up calling the guy, you know what I mean? Just at a random. Just say, fuck it. Let me try it. I forgot the guy's name. I believe it might have been Steve or whatever, but he was a Russian kid. He didn't speak full English. And I'm like. I call up. I go, hey, man, I know you from. Somebody from somewhere. And you know what I mean? I know you're over at the. It was the Limelight with Pete Gation and stuff, because, to be honest with you, our office was right across the street, so we would watch it a lot. And he ended up wanting to meet me based on, you know, I don't know what the fuck I said. But we ended up meeting. But again, to make a long story short, he wanted to meet in an area maybe it was about six blocks away. And I got there early with my surveillance team. And I says, man, I'm here early. I'm by myself. And I'm like, you know, I'm a little nervous, too, because he's a big guy. He might have killed this cop. And it was a. It was a big story back in the day. The cop in Queens who got. They come up to the car and. And they pull the trigger and they put one in his head. And so I got there early, and I'm like, fuck. I'm looking around for a bar or something, you know? So I see one and I go. I go over to the bar. Now everyone's watching me. I didn't give a shit. You know my surveillance. I go to try to get in the door. The guy goes, you can't come in here. Here. I go, what do you mean? I said, I want to get a drink. He goes, you're not allowed in here. I'm shaking my head and I go, why? You know, I'm looking around, though, and I'm seeing something a little peculiar, you know what I mean? Because there was nothing but guys in there, you know? So what ended up happening was. Now the guy calls me and says, are you here? I go, yeah, I'm here. I go. He goes, where are you? I go, well, I'm by this bar. I go, but I can't get in. He goes, I'm inside the bar. I go, really? I go. He goes, try to come in now. So I go back. They let me in. It was a. It was a gay place, you know what I mean? With all guys in there. I mean, it was crazy shit going on. I can't even Recall, because I was, like, a little nervous to meet this guy. And he was big. He met me at the door. He went to everybody, but there was guys on the bar, like, you know, shaking and, you know, everyone's drinking shots. They're all dancing, bumping with each other. All of a sudden he goes, come on downstairs. Now there's all marble going down these stairs. And I'm going to myself, myron, I'm saying to myself, you're by yourself, man. I go, I gotta go. I'm ready in here, you know? So I. I follow him down there, and I stop at the end of the stairs. Now he goes in the urinal. You know what I mean? And this guy is huge. I don't know how he got the in there, you know, because he got to squeeze in there. It was like Superman. And he's in there now. I'm like, I'm a little nervous, you know, and I don't normally get nervous like that. He opens the door and he goes, come on in. Now we're in a gay joint, and I'm not trying to pick on it, but I'm thinking, what's this guy gonna do?
- [35:51]
Joey Diaz
You know?
- [35:51]
Myron
Is he gonna do something to me in there? Whatever. I'm just thinking crazy thoughts, you know? So I go in there and he. And he goes, you got the money? I go, yeah, you got the money? Goes, the stuff's underneath the toilet. I looked at him and I go, I'm not bending down to get that. I go, go get that and give it to me like a man. You know what I mean? But he was nervous, too. I was nervous. We ended up doing the deal is the story, you know what I mean? When I came back out and I went back to the office, everybody was pissed at me because I went inside. But I did the job. But again, those are the kind of things you don't want to do, because a couple of our other agents, like, namely, and I'll mention one that I had a case, was Everett Hatcher. I don't know if you all remember Everett Hatcher from Staten Island. Gus Farace was going bananas there. In Staten Island. There's a movie made about. Actually, Tony Danza played Gus Farace, and he was out of control, and he killed our guy. Excuse me. Everett Hatcher was doing undercover, and something happened. I don't want to get into it, but the guys lost him, and he ended up getting killed. And basically, what happened after that, which was obviously very sad to see somebody, you know, getting taken out like that. And that Somebody could actually do something like that over drugs. But I guess Farace was just nuts, you know what I mean? So what ended up happening for like a good six months after that, we rode them all. The guys, the Italian guys, every fucking family. Broke down their games, did everything until somebody, you know, came up with where this guy's at. Ferracci. I don't know if you saw the movie.
- [37:22]
Joey Diaz
I mean, there was a movie. Yeah.
- [37:24]
Myron
I mean, Tony Danza played him. I think it was Tony Danza. He plays all those movies. He was in another one of ours, that A Mob over in Miami was another movie that was made about that Chris Ludwood Sin kid who was dating Madonna.
- [37:37]
Joey Diaz
Yeah.
- [37:37]
Myron
You know, but he had issues that nobody knew. He opened up a club in. In. In Lauderdale. It was a club Liquids. I mean, it was one of the biggest clubs.
- [37:46]
Joey Diaz
Boy Cat. Pussy Cat. Yeah, I went there once. They gave me a cock ring on a Monday night. I went there.
- [37:54]
Myron
There you go.
- [37:55]
Joey Diaz
With some people from the improv. I was in shock. I didn't even know what a cock ring was. I ain't gonna lie to nobody here. I was like 40 years old. I had no idea that's how deep they took it. Let me tell you how hot the club was on Monday nights. It was very tough to get a plane ticket out of Newark or LaGuardia to go to Miami. That's how hot it was.
- [38:16]
Myron
I mean, now, even today, that's hot. I mean, Miami's hotter than Vegas. I mean. I mean, it's unbelievable. But, yeah, I mean, that's.
- [38:24]
Joey Diaz
That's a whole Chris Ludwig. Now. Let's get to it. Last I heard, he had a pizza place two miles from me.
- [38:32]
Myron
He might. I mean, like I said, he opened.
- [38:34]
Joey Diaz
Up two restaurants in LA again.
- [38:36]
Myron
Yeah.
- [38:36]
Joey Diaz
Let me tell you who else he dated that if everybody forgot.
- [38:39]
Myron
I know who. I know. Sofia Vergara.
- [38:42]
Joey Diaz
Vergara.
- [38:43]
Myron
Yeah. But they. You know, who was also in that mix was Sandra Bernhardt. They were all, you know, that was, you know, back in the day. Obviously, Madonna was. Was the shit, you know, and this kid, I think. You know what. And the reason I noticed, because what ended up happening was we did a lot of cases, and sometimes when you do too many of them, you give cases away. I had given that particular case away to another guy who worked it, but I still was involved with it. But he was like 23, 24 years old. He was running Miami. I mean, and he had a lot of people behind him, you know what I mean, that were mob guys. But he Was a tough kid, you know what I mean? He, he was hurting people in his clubs, you know what I mean? If they disrespected him and he did get a lot of respect there until what ended up happening was his history came back on him, you know, and that was he. He did a push in job in Staten island with this other kid. What's that?
- [39:35]
Joey Diaz
What's the kid's name he did it with? Well, one of those just got out.
- [39:39]
Myron
I better tell you. I mean, I'm gonna give up names. There was one kid I, I remember there was actually all three of them were there, I think Paciello. Then he changed his name to Ludwigson because I guess he broke off from his father. I mean he was with another kid by name of Reynolds.
- [39:54]
Joey Diaz
Reynolds or something.
- [39:55]
Myron
It was. No, it was Tommy Reynolds. And then there was somebody else again. I had dropped, just got out of.
- [40:00]
Joey Diaz
Jail maybe a month ago.
- [40:02]
Myron
But they, they did, you know, a decent amount of time. And I tell you, it was horrible what these kids did. I mean, they knocked on the door because in staten line, because they thought there was like I think 300,000 in a fucking cereal box, whatever it may be. And the lady come to door and her husband was behind her and. And the kid Reynolds just come, boom. And shot her, you know. And you know, Jesus, man. And so that's, that's what came back to him, you know, where, you know he was. He would have been gold there in Miami. But he had to do his time. And I think he ended up doing 16 years maybe, or I'm not, I'm not actually sure, you know what I mean? Because I didn't follow again, you can't quote me on some of these things. Even some of the names sometimes could have been a little while. But yeah, you know, did anything like.
- [40:45]
Lee
That happen when you were undercover? Like anyone pull a gun, anything like. And what do you do in that situation?
- [40:50]
Myron
Well, thank God nobody ever pulled a gun like, like I said, because I never would have a gun on me. Because when I worked a lot of these mob guys and I worked some older guys from the French Connection day, and that's when I was getting that. Giving $40,000 and letting it pass. I let it walk three times. That's how much the bosses loved this case. Because, because we got involved with some, some good people. But when I started meeting these guys and I'll mention, you know, and this guy just did. He did more time in Connecticut and I think he just got out again after we locked him up. He Got out. He just likes to be in jail, I guess. I guess he likes the commissary, you know what I mean? The Slim Jims and shit. But you know, I was meeting a guy by the name of Frankie Catino. And he was an old, old guy. And I would meet him at a place called La Magnet over in the city, which was on like 53rd and 2nd Avenue.
- [41:36]
Joey Diaz
You.
- [41:36]
Myron
And I tell you, that was a fun case because I'm kind of losing myself here because this case initially was handed to us through an informant from Jersey, actually. And I'll say he's dead now. Joey Eppolito was the informant. And I got to give props to my partners and the case agents on all these cases I'm talking about. One is Eric Stangby and the other one is Robert Brizileri, who were great agents and we did a lot of things. But yeah, I was meeting this guy at this La Maginette and they would pat you down right away. So if you had a gun on you and shit, you know what I mean? It wasn't working. They would pat you down for wires. And I remember I used to bring a whole lot of cash into La Maginette and I felt like a king because I really didn't have that money, but I was taking it from the government. So I remember the bartender, she was a good looking girl, you know what I mean? And she liked when I come in because. Because I'd say, champagne, boom, boom, get this guy this whatever. And I'd always give her a good tip. But that's when I first, you know, started meeting. We called him Herbie. Frank Catino in La Magonette. And that was a big case. There's just something. I mean, he was involved with the French Connection day. You remember the French Connection. I mean, you know, back in the 70s where that was the boys from Pleasantville Avenue. Okay. You know Elvis Presley sung about that, right? What was the name of that song? Purple. The Purple. Yeah, the Purple Gang. You know what I mean? So that was fun because I was meeting with three or four guys at that time. And that case took about a year. And it all came from, you know, that one informant who now unfortunately, I mean, who ended up. To be honest with you, he was a really good guy. I mean, he just made some mistakes. And he was involved with O.J. simpson and back in the day, that's how popular this guy was. He was a very charismatic person. And his father was big in the mob too. His father was, was Joey. And Joey was a Big marijuana, coke guy. So he's the one. I had to actually meet his brother while. While. While Joey was in jail, I met his brother in Point Pleasant for, like, a weekend to go over our game plan, because I had to remember, like, all these people, because I was supposed to be like Joey, like, guy, you know, that now took over. So, you know, I was spending a lot of time with them, and then we. They set me free. And for like a year and a half, we went up on a lot of wires, we locked up a lot of people. Again, Rob Brizzolari in the group, he did an outstanding job. And, you know, we actually got into the heroin was coming from China. And there's a big difference between heroin, you know, there was Afghani heroin. There's all kind of crazy heroin, right? There's hillbilly heroin. But the shit from China, man, when he bought that shit to me, we always met at La Magnet. I'd say. I'd say to him, hey, Herbie, I go, you got it, right? Because we'd be sitting having some pasta and shit, like, on a little table outside, and I vividly remember I could smell the heroin. That's how strong it was. And, you know, I'd give him the 40,000, he'd give me the fucking brick. And we'd go, you know, and that was that. And we did that for a year. I made three or four buys into him. So we spent alone just the money, you know, due to multiplication four times four, that's 160,000, right? But we ended up getting good players, you know. Again, I can go into a lot of other names and stuff that maybe you all know or maybe you don't, but they were like, this guy was related to, like, captains from the Lucchese family, you know, and a lot of high, high level people.
- [45:07]
Joey Diaz
So, yeah, it's crazy how many of those guys made millions of dollars, but this guy.
- [45:13]
Myron
Yeah, but you know what the funny thing about it is? This guy Herbie, he. He looked like. Honestly look like Mr. Padilla. Do you know, he was skinny, he had no hair, he hardly had a car. So, like, for instance, he had the juice enough to get the heroin, you know. But these guys like that, like. And you'll see a lot of guys, like, they don't really have the money. They're not really the businessman, you know. So this guy would do whatever he can to, you know, to make a dollar, you know, And I don't know what his cut was. He took off the end, you know. But then again, I. On another occasion, he loved the fact because I was winding down then I bought him warm up suits. I bought, you know, I gave him a case of this. It all went together where it gave you, like, kind of credibility, you know, so that was fun. That was one of my, you know, I don't want to say best undercovers were, but it was like, it was like just fun to do because I didn't have to go to the office, you know, my one big boss. You could wear sweats, you could wear shorts. I'd make phone calls from around my house now, you know, because they knew I was from New Jersey. So that was cool.
- [46:15]
Lee
Did you ever have to be careful of, like not going to that area of the city when you were just off so, like they wouldn't recognize you or that wasn't something you worried about?
- [46:24]
Myron
I really wasn't worried about it. But one thing that happened, and it's a good thing that you brought this up because again, my mind is all over the place. The thing that, the thing that happened in this case, okay, is when this thing fucking went down, we locked up about 20 something people, okay? And what happened was the undercover is not allowed to be there for the takedown, obviously, because they don't want to see like, oh, you know, I called myself Chuck, by the way, you know what I mean? When I was doing undercover. So what ended up happening? They did the takedown and during the takedown, you know, afterwards I came into cell blocks and they were trying to figure it out what the fuck happened, you know. And all of a sudden Herbie saw me and they overheard like someone saying, hey, Myron, come here. There. Herbie goes like this. I can't believe I got did by a guy by the name of Myron. And I looked at Herbie because I had, I had promised Herbie. I says, herbie, you know, in a week or so, Stones around. I got tickets, we're gonna go. I says, well, you know what, Herbie? You ain't going to the Stones concert either, you know, so. Yeah, but you know, those were the kind of guys like, we locked up. Like, a lot of the older guys, they didn't really give a. They didn't mind doing time time, you know what I mean? It was like, you know, like, like they go and play probably dominoes or something. But then again, I just found that with. With Coutino. But I'm looking through some articles. He got out after doing 10 years with us. He went right back in, like a year later, he got caught in Connecticut you know, he had a lot of ties to the Lucchesis in Connecticut. One of them was like this guy Anthony Bawat. He was. I mean, he's well known, you know, he was one of the captains and stuff. They were, they were involved with the. Jesus. Gas pipe, you know, Gas pipe. He wanted to. He wanted to blow up mdc. That's. He wanted to escape there. He had. It was. It was. He was going to do it, you know what I mean? So you can't make this up. I mean, when you're on. When you're on a wiretap and a lot of times I would be listening like the, the first wire we did, which I didn't even get into. I mean, the. That these say on the phone. I mean, you just got to laugh, laugh, you know, because they're saying, shh, don't talk, don't talk. You know what I mean? But yet they're telling you everything. And I'm laughing. And back in the day, I mean, nowadays the kids that, you know, and I call them kids because they are the agents have everything computerized. Back in the day, I'd be on four phones with our group. I'd be in a chair that had the wheels like this. I'd have to, like. One phone would be going off. I'd wheel over there right down the cut. The other one's going off, wheel over there, you know, you'd be going nuts, you know, because this is. They just talk so much, you know, and that's how you get them, you know, and that's how we did get them. And it was fun. We locked up 75 fucking people. On that first case with me and Eric Stangby again, I want to mention him because, you know, he was my senior partner and it was unbelievable. I mean, we started with a beeper back in the days. That's why it says we normally start with informants, right? We still. We backed out of a beeper. They were beepers back then in Bay Ridge and Bensonhurst. We backed out of that and we got 80 fucking guys, man. 80 guys. It didn't stop, you know, I wanted the case to end because it was like a matter of fact. I'll tell you a story. When we did the fucking takedown. This is just a little side note. I had one group, there was one guy that was doing some shit because a conspiracy in the federal system. You're still going to do the same amount of time. But this guy was dealing low level with his crew, but he fucking lived. And there's no shit. He lived on the Avenue U in a box, like a cardboard box. And we wrote the instructions on to all the people that when you go out and do the takedown, there's like five guys that go doom. We said, yeah, you're going to find this guy Matt, he's going to be in this cardboard box. And lo and behold, they come back to the, the, the lockups after he goes, Myron, you were fucking right, he was in the cardboard box. And you know, here he is involved with all these other guys and you know.
- [50:14]
Lee
So let me, let me ask you this because I, I get mad at my friends who like will text about buying weed from like when they don't go to a dispensary, but they'll be like, hey, do you have trees tonight? Or I'm looking for.
- [50:26]
Myron
Yeah, you ain't.
- [50:27]
Lee
Cops know what that mean? Like that, like that's they're being stupid, right? Like if they text about a.
- [50:31]
Myron
Like, I mean, of course, but back in the day, but nowadays, I'm gonna be honest with you, man, nobody bothers with that. I mean, like even back in the day, like I'll be like for, for federally. See, we used to do a lot of the Italians on the marijuana, but we RICO's. If you all know what a RICO is, you know, you have to have two predicate felons. So they might be doing gambling, they might be doing prostitution, they might have had a couple murders and we'd bang them. And that's how actually Giuliani started this shit, you know, with the rico. So when you get them, they're doing like just about life. And you know, basically they got a flip. But nobody's bothering with that shit. I mean, it would take 1600 pounds back in the day for me to actually have anyone do a little bit of time. But when you put that together with other charges, then it, you know, makes a difference.
- [51:14]
Lee
1600 pounds?
- [51:15]
Myron
Yeah, that was the federal guidelines, I think for like you might get like five years.
- [51:19]
Lee
Five years.
- [51:20]
Myron
But not even that because you probably get out, you know, early. But, but we didn't. Like I said, we did that as we did rico's. We, we put that on top of other charges, you know, so.
- [51:30]
Lee
Dude, they scared us so much in school. I thought if I bought like $10 worth of weed, I was going to jail for forever. I was scared.
- [51:38]
Myron
Well, it's good that you were scared, to be honest, because you got to fear something in life. Yeah, that's good. But you know, the weed stuff, I mean, even now I mean, everything is different now, too. So there's. There's some jurisdictions, like, I went out to la, and again, that goes back to the Epolito thing. And we were doing more buys from this. It turned out to be the OJ Thing. But. But what ended up happening was sometimes they wouldn't even want to do the cases if you can get them 10 kilos of coke. That's how different districts work. Like, Southern District and Eastern District were great. They would do whatever you wanted. But you go out to, like, when we talk about now, and I don't want to get into politics, but, like, California is the worst. You could do whatever the. You want over there, you know, So, I mean, you know, 10 kilos, back in the day, they didn't even want it. But because it was a mob case and bosses called bosses, we went, and me and Brizzle Arie, I mentioned we went and we. We bought off a couple of guys. And that was a funny story too, you know, that. That all came back to the OJ Thing, which has been in a lot of articles that, you know, when OJ Was actually driving that fucking Bronco, he was talking to Cowans and Cowan's. Al Cowans called our informant because he was out saying, how does he get out of town? You know what I mean? So a lot was spoken while he was in that Bronco. OJ and what ended up happening was the ADA in California didn't want to use our informant. They probably thought they had enough and, like, maybe he would ruin the case. But as it turns out, you know what I mean, you saw what happened. But that particular case, and I'm going to say it, because this is the. They called O.J. the Snowman, okay? Because my informant, not my informant, but our informant, DEA's informant, was giving him coke. He was a big cokehead. And then in return, see, Joey Eppolito had a guy, his name was Charlie Tuna. He would run his business. Business. And Charlie Tuna, there's a lot of Charlie Tuna. So, again, but that. This one I remember, but he would actually go and give OJ on the arm. But OJ Would then hook these guys up with legit customers that would want kilos in Hollywood and stuff, you know, and. And that's how I believe that whole thing started with. With O.J. you know, killing Nicole because she was good friends with Faye Resnick. And what had ended up happening was this guy Charlie, I think, was there that day, and he was starting shit with OJ Getting them all revved up about, hey, your Girl is with this Resnick girl. They're cokeheads. They were in Mexico with some guys doing coke. And, you know, I'm just saying maybe that put him in a rage, and. You know what I mean? Because then he wrote a book that if I did. You know what I mean, if I did kill her. I believe he did. But, you know, I think. Think this. This also had a play in it. You know, the drugs was. Was a big play. Because, I mean, to. To kill somebody like that. I mean, I don't know about you. I mean, I. I couldn't hurt a squirrel. I mean, if they were coming after my family, I'm gonna take care of my family. But, I mean, that was a gruesome murder. So there had to be something behind that, you know what I mean? The way he. He was enraged. So.
- [54:33]
Joey Diaz
Well, I heard that two years after that murder, the restaurant Mezzaluna was closed down because of that's. Selling keys out of that.
- [54:44]
Myron
Yeah, yeah. I mean, I know the informant that I'm talking about, Joe, he owned two restaurants there, and that might have been the one. Yeah. I'm telling you, and I think you're right.
- [54:53]
Joey Diaz
That's where they were.
- [54:54]
Myron
But he didn't even give a. About that. Like, he. Like Joey. And I knew Joey, you know, well, and, you know, from just meeting with him and stuff. But. But in regards to. He didn't even give a. About his restaurant. Like, he'd have a million of these Hollywood people coming. He didn't even want to talk him because he was good like that, you know, it was nothing to him. And that's why he said, fuck it. He sold that restaurant. But you know what? He ended up getting into, you know, problems. He had to face the music, right? Because he was looking to do 15 to 18 years. He fucking escaped out of jail. That's another thing. And he went back in. But then he decided to cooperate. And you know what? I like the guy, man. I mean, I spoke to him a lot. He was. You know, even though he did what he did, I mean, he was a nice guy. And I just talked to my partner the other day, and he loved him, too. Not in a way like I love, but he was a good guy. But like he said before he died at home, and he was able to come home two years. We got him out earlier, and he called my partner Brizzleri, right before he died, and he thanked him, you know, like, thank you so much for giving me, you know, the time that I could spend with my family, because he had Cancer. And he ended up dying. And that was more or less could have been the last person, person he spoke to, you know? So again, you know what I mean, these are people, some of them are real cruel, some of them are real bad. And you know the difference. I mean, I'm sure we all know the difference, but some of them are not bad. You know, they just get caught out there doing their thing, you know? So.
- [56:15]
Joey Diaz
Hey, it's March. I gotta talk about some stuff about DraftKings and some other people.
- [56:20]
Myron
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
- [56:21]
Joey Diaz
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- [57:58]
Myron
Call 1-800- gambler in Connecticut. Help is available for problem gambling.
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Joey Diaz
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Myron
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Joey Diaz
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Myron
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- [58:17]
Joey Diaz
Valid for featured game only and expire in 168 hours. See terms@casino.draftkings.com promos ends 4 hours, 27 minutes and 25 at 11:59pm Eastern. Hey, Uncle Joey. Here again. This episode is also brought to you by the best nicotine pouches out there. Nicked. They use the best ingredients and give you the best experience. These pouches are made with natural coconut fibers that won't cut up your gums. They have a bunch of different flavors and different strengths so you can mix and match. These two are my favorite right here. Strawberry watermelon is tremendous. And lemon twist. I can't see without my glasses. It doesn't matter. At the end of the day. All their flavors are delicious. These two are my favorites. Check this out. NYCT is launching a new 0 milligram option soon, helping you gradually reduce your nicotine usage at your own pace. Whether you're trying to kick chewing tobacco, traditional smoking products, or vape, Nick flavors just hit right. Listen, it's time to upgrade to nic nicotine pouches just like I did right now. Church listeners, you're going to get 35% off when you order through our exclusive link at nykdpouches.com church c h u r c h. And and you can use this code up to three times. Who's better than Uncle Joey? Nobody. So don't wait. Get 35% off right now on NYKDPouches.com church and check out the new Church bundle with some of Uncle Joey's favorite flavors. That's nykdpouches.com church nickedpouches.com church nicked products are only for adults of legal age. So you're too young. Take a hike. Go drink a cup of tea. And every order is age verified. Warning. This product contains nicotine. And nicotine is an addictive chemical. Okay, Uncle Joey loves you. Thank you for supporting our show and thank you guys at home for watching. All right, we're back, Jack. It's a beautiful Tuesday morning wherever the fuck you are. Anyway, my man's still here, Myron. I want to ask him some questions about the Mexicans. Before I ask you a question, Myron, just to be honest with you, I'm a big book guy and there's nothing I hated more than reading a book. And six years later, finding out they turned the movie, they turned the book into a movie into a movie. And you go there with your dick hard. And it's completely different from what you read.
- [61:08]
Myron
Yeah.
- [61:09]
Joey Diaz
All of a sudden there's a sister involved and she's dating the midget in the basement. You're like, where the fuck did I come from? There's only two books. I stand Behind Silence of the Lambs is just the way it is on book, as it is in a movie.
- [61:23]
Myron
Great movie.
- [61:24]
Joey Diaz
And there's another one. God damn it. It was just sleepers.
- [61:29]
Myron
Oh, sleepers. I didn't see that. Silence of the Lambs was a good one.
- [61:32]
Joey Diaz
Sleepers. But those two books, everything else I watch, I know where I just came from. I know people's story. And next thing you know, they rewrite it. You're fucking pissed. But they throw you another million to shut your fucking mouth.
- [61:48]
Myron
Of course.
- [61:49]
Joey Diaz
Because if not, you're not gonna have dick. Okay? You told that little mistress you're gonna be in Hawaii with fireworks and a pineapple. That's over. That's over. So now you go, okay, add my sister and make my mother black. It doesn't make a difference anymore. And that's it. And you don't know it until he goes on a show 15 years from now and says, did you know my mother was white? They wanted me to do that for the script. Okay, so when I watch Narcos and shit, right? I know it's 50, 60, 40, 60.
- [62:23]
Myron
I'm sorry.
- [62:24]
Joey Diaz
It's 40% correct and 60% made up for your imagination, you know? I understand. But when I first saw the first season of Narcos, was that with Pablo? Yeah, with Pablo.
- [62:38]
Myron
Yeah.
- [62:39]
Joey Diaz
I dove into reading. I didn't watch the other stupid shit on Netflix. There's 82 shows. Netflix should just be the Pablo station. Look at it. Look at it.
- [62:49]
Myron
To be honest with you, I watched all 82.
- [62:51]
Joey Diaz
No, you didn't.
- [62:51]
Myron
Just horrible recently.
- [62:53]
Joey Diaz
Yeah, horrible.
- [62:54]
Myron
You could tell I live a fucking boring life.
- [62:56]
Joey Diaz
No, man, but no, no, don't get into that shit. It's just the same fucking Puerto Ricans over and over.
- [63:02]
Myron
Yeah, it's hard to follow it too, man.
- [63:04]
Joey Diaz
It's hard. You don't know. The best two that I recommend is I love Narcos. Until the last season, he shifted over to the Godfather of Harlem and shit the bed completely. They just got a bunch of fucking people jumping up and down. The last season is God awful. God awful. Cause I'm telling you as a fucking fan, you know what happens?
- [63:27]
Myron
It peters out, man. You know what I mean? After a while. I mean, it doesn't peter out.
- [63:30]
Joey Diaz
The writers get deals somewhere else. So now it's me, you, and him. We wrote it. We wrote the first nine episodes with Pablo, and we got fucking nine more in the can. They're gonna sign us up. All of a sudden you got a weird bug up your ass. I want to be on, you know, one of those fucking lifetime shows. Really? Really. We just fucking wrote something tremendous. They're gonna double my pay. And I got three kids in college, but there goes the original Jackson 5. Now we bring in two other guys. They don't know what the fuck. They just came from a fucking soap opera.
- [64:03]
Myron
Yeah.
- [64:03]
Joey Diaz
We're here trying to write about people getting mugged and gangsters, you know. Lee. Yes. It's gonna be all right. You want Alka Seltzer?
- [64:11]
Myron
I do. I need a sick.
- [64:13]
Lee
I got a little sniffle. I'm good.
- [64:14]
Joey Diaz
But so I read about it. I really read about it. And the other show I really like is Hota Hota. I never seen that show.
- [64:23]
Myron
What's it called? No, but I saw. You know what's a good one? If you're talking about drugs, because that's, you know, what I'm here for, the drugs. But the Griselda was pretty good.
- [64:36]
Lee
Yeah, Griselda Blanco.
- [64:37]
Myron
You know what? That's, that's actually. DEA locked her up at the end. End.
- [64:40]
Lee
Wasn't that the guy from Miami?
- [64:42]
Joey Diaz
But that was also tremendous. Bullshit. First of all, the show was going to be real. You got to get somebody like, look like me to play Griselda.
- [64:49]
Myron
Well, you know what?
- [64:50]
Joey Diaz
That woman was ugly as dog.
- [64:52]
Myron
No, no, bro, you're. You're right. I mean, in real life, that was terrible.
- [64:55]
Joey Diaz
She. I mean, I love that girl. I love her. Don't get me wrong. I love all her work, but that up nose, she looked like a Pink Panther when he played the Italian.
- [65:04]
Myron
He's right though, man. Because honestly.
- [65:06]
Joey Diaz
No, come on.
- [65:06]
Myron
In real life, she was adore, but nobody did her.
- [65:10]
Joey Diaz
Yeah, you did her with a blindfold. Can't fall down, dog. You're crazy.
- [65:12]
Myron
But she had strength, man.
- [65:14]
Joey Diaz
She.
- [65:14]
Myron
She was legit. I'm gonna be honest with you. They really were scared of her. She ran a fucking great organization. I mean, I wasn't around for. For those cases because DEA again did that. I know they picked her up at the end, but they were looking at her. She was doing shit in the Bronx, but she was legit, man. She made a lot of money. I mean, that, that's like you said when the, when the times were roaring in the 80s with Miami, that's when everything came out with Miami Vice. The Go Fast post, you know, I mean, they were. They were sending shit in planes and just dropping them in the water. I mean, you know, there was so much money to be made.
- [65:45]
Joey Diaz
I've never. There's only two changes that I Ever saw that were dramatic.
- [65:51]
Myron
Mm.
- [65:53]
Joey Diaz
Before I get into it here with you. Yeah. I'm gonna grab two changes. You came from Woodridge?
- [65:59]
Myron
Woodbridge, yeah. Not Woodridge. Yeah, Bridge.
- [66:01]
Joey Diaz
So you saw changes when you were in high school and especially if you went outside of Woodridge. We were raised in this fucking neighborhood with your wife. So we saw. And all I remember is this. We were spending $4 a night. We would do a hit of acid, split a hit of ass and get a six pack from Nick's or whatever. Not Nick's, that's a pizza joint. The liquor store in the corner or something like that. And then. Then, okay, everybody got cooler. We started eating Quaaludes. Now, your night went from $4 to $4. And you drank two drinks. If somebody served you and you were good to go. Then out of nowhere, people started going, psst. Come here. Come in the bathroom. Try this coke. And you're like, I'm over here at Joan Mary's on Bergen Avenue. What am I? This ain't no disc attack. And you start. And all of a sudden, everybody was cool. Everybody was doing a package between four people. Nobody was ODing. Nobody was jumping up and down. At 2 o'clock, people were like, good night. Good night. There was no drama. I leave for Colorado, I come back. Oh, my fucking God. People went from going home at 2 to going home the next day. Yeah, like, people started going out on Friday nights and not going home till Sunday afternoon at 5. Just in time for Mom's meatballs. Like nothing happened. What's up, Mom? Where you been, dawg? I gotta tell you what happened. I went to a concert. What happened to your head? You know, it was always something. And then it just went for people going out on Mondays and staying out till Thursday. And all those Tunnelly Avenue hotels. My friends would rent four fucking rooms. Wow. From one side to the other. The end was a Jacuzzi room. And they would just go in there for months. I was like the growth of this shit. When I left here. You had to really look for cocaine. You had to go into the city. You had to know a cousin in Union City, something. When I came back, just on 82nd street, there was three coke dealers. Now all you had to do is walk on Smith Avenue and, hey, did I tell you I got some coke? If you could move it for me. Like, don't look. You went to Catholic school. I knew you as a kid. You never even had a beer. Now you're dealing coke. So the explosion.
- [68:22]
Myron
Oh, yeah. I mean, you know, it's a money game. All of it. It all goes. It's all cyclical. Look how long. I mean, coke is making a comeback. You know what I mean?
- [68:30]
Joey Diaz
It never went away.
- [68:31]
Myron
Yeah, no, I know it never went away. I know. But everybody, come on, all these kids with the fentanyl and the heroin and stuff like that, I mean, that's been big. And that's why we're losing all these kids, really. The Fentanyl, which, you know, it's a shame because some of these kids might try it one time and it's just unlucky. And, you know, you get a couple of little pieces of fentanyl on you and, you know if it's a bad type, you're gonna die. And we changed all our rules, too, with the Fentanyl. Once I left and stuff. We had a whole new lab area where if you did think that you got something related to it, you would have to have special gloves on. It'd be a special room, you know, with all kind of special filtration systems in there. So. So the game has changed. But it's horrible how, you know, these young kids today in their 20s, you know, even older people, you know, are still doing this stuff. And it's sad. It really is. Truly sad, because life is precious, Myron.
- [69:29]
Joey Diaz
It's never fucking changed since 1980.
- [69:33]
Myron
Yeah.
- [69:34]
Joey Diaz
This has been a revolving door. I'm very fortunate to still be here. Yeah, I enjoyed it. I enjoyed going over to Harlem. I enjoyed it. It was just somebody. It was who I was for a long time. But listen, when we were growing up, people were dying, too.
- [69:51]
Myron
Yeah.
- [69:51]
Joey Diaz
You know, they were fucking going into the city, whatever. And now I wouldn't try anything out in the street, not even dog. When I left California, you could already tell there was an issue in a marijuana dispensary where when you ate this guy's cookies, you didn't get high. You saw fucking Pluto. And for me to see Pluto, there's gotta be something in that cookie. I'd like to.
- [70:18]
Myron
I need one of them cookies now.
- [70:19]
Joey Diaz
No, you put me to sleep. I ate one of those cookies on a flight to Pittsburgh. My leg wouldn't stop twitching. I was sweating profusely, and my leg. It was horrible. Anyway, fuck that out. What I'm saying is. What I'm saying to you is that they're putting edible out of that in Mexico because you could. God bless New Jersey. A lot of people are going to hate me for this because I came here and I was withdrawn on Xanax. And I thought I was going to walk into a doctor and go, hey, let me get a script.
- [70:51]
Myron
Guys like, no, they don't prescribe that shit.
- [70:53]
Joey Diaz
We don't give you that shit at all here. And then I had the knee surgery, and it was tough to get pain pills. Like, tough. Like, come on. I just had to. Well, we don't know. We got to contact the doctor, and he's got to contact cvs, and CVS has to call DC and see if you're on the list. And you're like, what the fuck? And then somebody told me that next time, get surgery and go to Staten island because they just go nuts out there. They don't give you 28 pills. They give you 90 something still.
- [71:23]
Myron
Yeah, we had a group that actually just dealt with that. It was called our diversion group. So if you get a script, that third copy, I believe it's pink, you know, that goes to the dea, and they can tell by, like, and we. And not that I did. I wasn't in this group. But, you know, the pharmacists, the doctors, they were locking them up left and right because. And the pharmacists, they were getting, like, $500,000 cash out of their apartments because that's. That's how lucrative the business was with. With, you know, like you said, whether it be Oxys, whether it be Xanax or Dilaudid, you know, all these things. So it's. It's a big business.
- [71:58]
Lee
Well, I saw some documentaries that, like, people who got addicted to the pills would switch to heroin because it was cheaper, which is crazy to me.
- [72:05]
Myron
No, it is cheaper.
- [72:06]
Lee
It is that heroin is cheaper than a pill.
- [72:08]
Joey Diaz
Of course. Remember when we did Heroin Elite?
- [72:11]
Lee
I don't know if we did heroin.
- [72:13]
Myron
When did we do heroin?
- [72:14]
Joey Diaz
Don't worry. I got the date, I got the episode.
- [72:15]
Myron
I can't. I can't see him doing.
- [72:18]
Lee
No, I did more than you would think.
- [72:20]
Myron
But just this little marijuana joint, man.
- [72:23]
Lee
Let me ask you this, cuz. I just moved to New York in September, and I. I had one guy ask me for if I wanted party supplies, but other than that, that's it.
- [72:33]
Myron
What, like paper plates and who knows?
- [72:36]
Lee
But, like, how much on a daily basis?
- [72:39]
Myron
Yeah.
- [72:39]
Lee
How much is going on in, like, plain sight in New York?
- [72:42]
Myron
I mean, it doesn't even have to be New York. It. It's all over. I mean, you. Like you said, I mean, even with the marijuana, the dispensaries, I mean, I got places in town where I live. You go in there, get what you want. The other stuff I mean, I be honest with you, I haven't been in a big city since I've been retired. I hate to say that I have no interest in going back to New York, man. And again, that's just me, because, to be honest with you, man, I had enough of it. You know, I'm living in a small town now and, you know, by the beach somewhere, and it gets boring. But. But, you know, some of these big cities and the people around them, whether they're doing drugs or something else, they're fucking nuts. People are nuts today. You know what I mean? Because you gotta remember there's different cultures out there, right? They're coming from different countries. You see what's going on. I mean, actually, a guy I work with who's now the head of the dea, and I'll mention his name, Derek Maltz, you know, he's on TV all the time, and he's out there in Colorado sending all these guys back to Venezuela and doing all these cases and stuff, you know. But, I mean, I'll be honest with you. Those are some dangerous people. I mean, you know, we. We could laugh in here and be like, you know, but they'll do whatever, you know, they'll do whatever, these people, because they don't give a fuck.
- [73:55]
Joey Diaz
You know how we get to the Venezuelans anymore?
- [74:00]
Myron
I don't know how we got there. No, because. Because what they're doing is they had that one gang from Venezuela now that. That was causing, you know, they want to start shipping these guys out. Obviously, you know, we got a new guy in there, Trump, and he's saying, hey, you know, you got to be legal to be here. And they're going after the people that are causing, you know, havoc that are dealing drugs that have records and stuff, and they're easy to find, you know what I mean? Because they let you know where they're at. They're that dumb, you know, so.
- [74:28]
Joey Diaz
But it's crazy how the Pablo Escobar stuff was good to me.
- [74:34]
Myron
Me, yeah.
- [74:35]
Joey Diaz
Like, I enjoy it as entertainment. The one that really got to me was when the Mexicans started selling the weed. And then in the middle they go, fuck you. Let's put some cocaine.
- [74:47]
Myron
I know. That's right. I know what you're talking about. Yeah.
- [74:49]
Joey Diaz
And I went and read up on the people and, you know, I was blown the fuck away with the money they were making and they got into. And they made a big mistake when they killed. Rest in peace.
- [75:02]
Myron
Yeah, Our guy.
- [75:02]
Joey Diaz
Yeah, yeah. Kiki Camaran.
- [75:05]
Myron
Kiki Camaran. That's a matter of fact recently. He was just in the news, you know, Right. Two weeks ago, what had ended up happening was they got one of his torturers. And again, the name escapes me. I. I. Miguel.
- [75:15]
Joey Diaz
Yeah. Miguel.
- [75:16]
Myron
Yeah. And. And. And when they bought him two arraignments, you know, they. They put Kiki Camarini's cuffs on him, which, you know, I mean, you know, okay. You know what I mean? You know, it's sad that we lost the agent. It was a while ago, but they got him, you know what I mean? And that was a great thing. And it, you know, at least gives the people, you know, from DEA anyway to say, hey, listen, we got you guys, and Kiki's cuffs are on you, and now you're gonna do your time, probably rot in jail, you know, which. Which is a good thing. But Mexico is a whole nother story, man. You know, like Mexico, you know, like, they kicked us out of the country for like a year or so because, I mean, it's so crooked, you know, Even like when I used to, back in the day, go to Cancun, Acapulco, I did a lot of up things when I went on vacation, you know what I mean? And he. I mean, Johnny's over here, too. He remembers a couple stories we did. But. But I tell you, man, you go out there, I remember I went to this place, they said I was all up, you know, drinking beers all night. I was with a guy by the name of Pete. Make a long story short, I go, I want to go to, like, a Go Go joint, you know, I was sick of seeing all these young kids, whatever I was only 24 for. And I get in the taxi and they go, chili Willies. You know what I mean? And I go, yeah, let's go to Chili Willies. You know, I get into a taxi, me and Pete, I'm bombed, man. And I'm drinking beer in the taxi, and I'm whipping beer bottles out of the taxi. That was stupid. You know, we ended up getting the Chili Willies. I go to the front door, and there's two big Mexican guys, but they were carrying machine guns, and they had the bandolier, you know, the bullets, all over here. I looked at Pete and, you know, I kind of sobered up a little bit. Little bit. And I'm like, hey, you want to go in here? It. We're here. We. We go in. It was the nastiest bar. They had girls up there. They were nastier than that girl you were, Griselda. You know what I mean, Griselda face. And. And I remember I had to take a. So bad because I was drinking that Mexican beer. I went in the bathroom and there was no. There was no, like, doors or anything. You know, just. Just a. Like, I don't know, something you in. I don't even know what you call. I, like, just like, lowered my ass over the bowl, you know, I let it explode because, like, I don't even think there was toilet paper there. I don't know what the. I did, but I know when I got out of that bathroom, I says, pete. He goes, what? It's time to go. You know what I mean? And I look back at that day and I. And I say to myself, man, that was stupid. Because normally what the cops would do, they see younger kids and whatnot. And it happened to some of my family members. They'll. They'll pull you over and they'll want, like, what's the average in your pocket? 3, 4, 500? You know, getting back to it, they don't make no money there. You know that? And that's why they don't make. No. That's why they were all crooked. You know, even during, you know, with Pablo, he bought whatever he wanted to buy. He owned. He. He was the man. He owned everything. You saw. You saw the movie. That. That's legit.
- [78:02]
Joey Diaz
No, but I read up on that.
- [78:03]
Myron
No, but some of the they showed in the movie was a little, like, I'll even say so, like with the DEA guys, they weren't the ones and all that.
- [78:10]
Joey Diaz
Right.
- [78:10]
Myron
You know what I mean? You know what I mean? I mean, you know, but they were there and they did. They did a very good job.
- [78:15]
Joey Diaz
I forget what the bottom line was. Yeah, the bottom line was just unbelievable. Yeah, it was an amount that you could not even fathom coming into your home every week. And the more money he made, the more he paid out. He took care. He did what the fuck he wanted to. I remember I was reading something online about him one night that I was just blowing the. Away just a thing that he built his own prison.
- [78:47]
Myron
Oh, that's. That's. And that happened, man. That's legit.
- [78:50]
Joey Diaz
I had. I was just starting comedy in 91, and I remember it would come up on the news that they're building the prison for this fucking guy. And I remember, like, even writing a joke, I didn't even know who the fucking guy was. I wrote like some stupid joke and bombed. Yeah, like, he opened up a hotel and it was just. It was funny because Boulder, where I was. The county jail was voted the number two county jail in the country. It was clean, sanitized, they gave you cigarettes. They had cable tv.
- [79:20]
Myron
Wasn't like Chili Willy's, man.
- [79:21]
Joey Diaz
No, no. That was not like Chili Willys.
- [79:23]
Myron
I still remember that.
- [79:24]
Joey Diaz
But I'm gonna tell you just in perspective, I'm a fucking okay? And when you add an addiction to a nut, it's never good. And I'm gonna be honest with you motherfuckers. And you can either believe me or not. I worked El Paso as a comic. The first night they came to me and they said, we're going to Mexico. You come in, I was a little apprehensive. And I went in the daytime, and that was enough for me.
- [79:49]
Myron
Yeah.
- [79:50]
Joey Diaz
And then I worked San Diego one time and I went to that side of Mexico, and that was okay for about an hour at night. And I'm like, it's time to go. And I like crazy shit. I'm all in. I'm all in for yells in the night and people screaming. But that was just a little too out there for Uncle Joey. And I just came home and then I went back down there with my wife. When we were dating a bunch of people going out to Mexico, we got lost. It was the worst. It cost me like $2,000 to get out of there in nickels because that's all I had. Every Mexican had nickels. I was giving out nickels. Like, I swear to God, I just had an ashtray and the center thing. And it was all like, nickels and dimes because they don't work on the.
- [80:38]
Myron
And the kids. The kids would shake you down, too. You come out here and they go, chickely, chickely.
- [80:43]
Joey Diaz
Yeah.
- [80:44]
Myron
And they start, like, going like this, like they're trying to get your fucking wallet. So you gotta. Honestly, you gotta. Gotta.
- [80:51]
Joey Diaz
Steroids.
- [80:53]
Myron
You can get whatever you want at the farm.
- [80:54]
Joey Diaz
Even if I buy this, I'm gonna get over. That's my biggest thing. I'm not a fucking smuggler. I've never been a smuggler. I don't mind. You give me an ounce of weed, I'll take it to Jersey. That's for me. I'd rather get caught than have to be out in the street in some fucking stupid weed store. Let them roll the turbines. Go fuck yourself. It's 22%. It smells like my dog shit. Get the fuck out of here. I'm sorry.
- [81:21]
Myron
That's all right, man.
- [81:22]
Joey Diaz
But anyway.
- [81:23]
Myron
Yeah, so you're talking about Mexico, you're talking about Pablo, right?
- [81:26]
Joey Diaz
I'm talking more about Mexico, how they did it, how they, you know, went to the Colombians and said, we're gonna be your transport. Yeah, they pretty much locked them out. It was, you know, it was fucking brilliant. Like, when you look at these guys, it's a shame they became criminals.
- [81:45]
Myron
Well, because they were. I mean, they were in the right business to make the money, but sooner or later, they were going to get caught if they spent that energy on a fucking legit business, you know, even to keep it to weed, you know what I mean? It wouldn't have been a problem. But getting back to Mexico again, I was a senior partner, too, and I'm going to bring up another name because, you know, he deserves it. Pete Gudowitz. He's the one that indicted El Chapo. So I was his senior partner. So. So if you see. When he comes off the plane, you'll see two DEA guys. The taller one with the glasses is Pete. And he worked hard on that case. And that was a rough case because a lot of people had him indicted. But they always bring these people to the big house, or the big house would be to New York. So they gave the. They arraigned him in New York, you know what I mean? But that was another guy, you know what I mean? El Chapo.
- [82:33]
Joey Diaz
That there was like a fucking magician. Yeah. Was he not. He was getting out of prisons with a suit on.
- [82:39]
Myron
Yeah.
- [82:40]
Joey Diaz
Like, what happened to El Chapo? We know. Sorry.
- [82:42]
Myron
Yeah, they were doing tunnels. He was the tunnel guy.
- [82:45]
Joey Diaz
Tunnels. And. But I did see some. Read something. This was buying up land.
- [82:50]
Myron
Yeah.
- [82:51]
Joey Diaz
And digging tunnels underneath from the U. S. Side to the Mexico side.
- [82:56]
Myron
Well, he thought about that. That was unbelievable, because all this is like. Yeah.
- [83:01]
Joey Diaz
You know, you're like, all right, I'll eat a bunch of pellets and shove the rest up my ass. Meanwhile, this guy's buying a house from the other house. And it's like they dug underneath where they put roller skates on it with a fucking thing that you push and they push it.
- [83:17]
Myron
Yeah.
- [83:18]
Joey Diaz
And it gets to the other side, and that's it, you know. Who thinks it was simplicity?
- [83:23]
Myron
Well, how the fuck could you even think about a tunnel? And the way they built it, even to get them out without. I mean, the thing about it is they were making a lot of noise for the prison, so they were all paid off. I mean, you can't tell me that they ain't hearing, like, people blowing, you know, or even, you know, picking out.
- [83:37]
Joey Diaz
I mean, come on.
- [83:38]
Myron
You know. So. Yeah, but, you know, getting Back to what you're saying, like how the Mexicans. With the Colombians, I mean, back in the day, when I first came on in the 80s and stuff, it was the Colombians, you know, especially well in New York, you know what I mean? That's where I was doing my stuff. But the Mexicans are a lot more powerful in regards to. I got to say, they got bigger coneys, they got bigger bowl, you know what I mean? So if you up with. With the Mexicans, honestly, they, they, they were really. They tortured people like, you know, you know, they were ruthless, you know what I mean? You had some Colombians like that, but a lot of times the Colombians would be little, you know, no disrespect, little motherfuckers, you know what I mean? And they come, they got their business suits on. You know what we used to do to the Colombians back in the day when I first came out, we would go to Queens, right? And they would have all payphones, and we would know what payphones they used because they had so much fucking money. Money from, From Pablo and stuff, you know what I mean? And we would know they would be carrying a suitcase. So we would just randomly go up there, take the suitcase, and what's in that suitcase? Two, $3 million. And you know what? Once you took it for him, they just ran. We let them go, you know what I mean? We just take the money and again it goes into, you know, a big kitty for Department of Justice and stuff. And never did any. I never did anything up. Like, you know, there are guys that did do that, but you know what I mean? And they got. A lot of them got caught, but, you know, there was a lot of money. And the problem with, with drugs is what do I do with this money? Where does it go? Because me, you, guys like us, and, you know, I don't know what people make here or whatever, but you got a couple of dollars, you feel good about yourself. Imagine having enough money to fill up three of these places here. What are you going to do with it? What do you do with the money? You don't even know where to put it. That's why. I mean, even now they have the Chinese laundering their money. And what the Chinese do, and you can see it is they've been buying up a lot of real estate, you know what I mean? And it's crazy because think about us going to China and getting real estate and buying a house or something. It ain't happening. You ain't coming to China. But yet, politically, here we Let everybody come here unvetted. They come in and they're buying places with this illegal money and they're growing weed, brother.
- [85:45]
Joey Diaz
Yeah, they're buying.
- [85:46]
Myron
Yeah, they buy.
- [85:47]
Joey Diaz
Well, yeah, they're grown by military weed. Like they got a diamonds.
- [85:53]
Myron
Yeah.
- [85:53]
Joey Diaz
And nobody gives a. So I'm not smoking weed no more. So you know me, I'm good. Yeah, I'm not smoking that commie weed. I like Chinese people. I'm cool.
- [86:02]
Myron
But yeah, I like the lunch specials, man.
- [86:07]
Joey Diaz
You know, it's really like that dude that they just brought back, he was one of the leaders. That's the dude that was in charge. And it's so weird looking back at it, and it was. This was 30 years ago. This is like, you look at this shit, you go, wow. I kind of remember this. Like, I remember the bust in Stockton, that big bust in Stockton. I kind of remember that.
- [86:32]
Myron
Yeah.
- [86:32]
Joey Diaz
And me going, somebody's getting backhanded right now. Yeah, that's a lot of fucking coke in that warehouse.
- [86:38]
Myron
Oh, yeah. I mean, you got to think about it like this, though. And I'll tell you, you got to remember all these products, whether it be heroin, heroin, coke, marijuana, they're all plants. So we had groups back in the day, back in the 80s, we called them Operation Snow Cap. Matter of fact, we lost some guys come out of a helicopter and whatnot. And they're plants. So what happens when you fucking exterminate them? They just grow more, you know what I mean? So it's like, you really can never stop it because you remember they're plants, right? I mean, you know, you just got to find a location and, you know, whether it be coke, right, Coca paste, and, you know, however way they make it, and the heroin, I mean, there's all kind of heroin, but you're always gonna. It's always gonna be there. Like you said, like you were thinking about. You were saying about it's going on, you know. It went on back then, too. Yeah, it did. Because they're plants. They're always going to be available, and you're gonna always make money. You're always gonna make money on them, right? You're gonna. Because we have a society that. That. That really wants this stuff, like even alcohol, you know what I mean? I know I'm getting off tangent here a little bit, but it's the same thing. People get addicted. There's addictions, you know, and sometimes it's hard to break, you know?
- [87:41]
Joey Diaz
You know, I remember Lee asked a question before, and I'm going to answer it. Lee One of the main reasons I left this area was because how far are you from New York city right now?
- [87:54]
Lee
10, 15 minutes.
- [87:56]
Joey Diaz
I was 15 minutes away from any drug I wanted to buy at whatever time you wanted to buy it. If you want something at three in the morning, you'll find it in New York City. You don't have to walk a few blocks. You might get mugged, you know, but you'll find it. That's crazy. And that's the scary thing to me in those days from keep going over there, you bump into more and more people. Who are you going to bump into in New York City at 3:30 in the morning? You're going to bump into a stock broker or a fucking army recruiter? No, you're bumping into people, trying to fucking scam people. And now you're talking to people like, hey dog, if you ever need a.45 or any guns, I got you. I'm 19 years old and you're asking me if I want to buy a fucking gun. Now that sits in the back of your mind. If I ever get into a beef, I'll be over on the bridge getting a gun for a buck and a quarter. Whatever the fuck, you know, Whatever the fuck it is. That's how accessible that city was. I can't imagine what it is today. I gotta guarantee that there's not as many spots as there were when I was growing up. But there's gotta be something happening in Washington Heights. Oh yeah, and there's gotta be something happening in the Bronx and all the other things. It's not as visible, right? But the scary thing is downtown, because downtown I know a guy named Tony. That's what he tells me his name is. He tells me to send me his driver's license as long as his. That's his address. From now on, I'm your delivery guy. Call me 24 hours a day. Something will be there in a half hour. I will send you a menu every day. You will not look at the prices you're already paying 4,000amonth for. You're already going dead anyway. You might as well pay the prices. He's gonna have an eight ball of coke for you there in one hour. The best shit you ever bought. That's the business. That's what I assume, right? That's what I'm assuming, that there's gotta be an app. Now I ain't that fucking, you know, I'm an old man, but I'm just thinking about some Chinese kid in the city that loves to jump up and down with the lights and all that stuff. He's got an app somewhere that you buzz. This guy gets buzzed here. And every day the code changes. That's how slick these kids are today.
- [90:24]
Myron
Don't tell me the kids are so slick. I mean, slick, but even. And it still goes on in the Heights. I remember when we first started doing the Heights and, you know, it's just easy. We had a lot of informants here. Make a long story short, man, they had the kids working on the corners with walkie talkie. So as soon as you came on the fucking block, they know you're five zero, you know, they know you're whatever. So we used to do is get like maybe a Spanish guy. I'd be in the back of a van. He'd park the van. The van might say like painting or plumber or whatever. And I'd sit in the back of the van. Like they wouldn't think anyone's in there. So then you could take pictures and see what's what. But the kids, even at the ages of 11, 10, you know what I mean? And the stash houses, I mean, we had special guys that used to basically know how to infiltrate any kind of special trap they might have. Because it was like really fucked up, you know, really, really crazy traps that these guys think of. I mean, unbelievable. You know what I mean?
- [91:13]
Joey Diaz
I was there the summer of 93 when there were kids on the roof and a cop was walking. Uniform cop. And they dropped a bucket of Spackle on him.
- [91:23]
Myron
Oh, yeah, yeah.
- [91:24]
Joey Diaz
I'll never forget that. And I remember it was tight. But it's interesting, in 1993, I used to go to a place. I mean, it was like stealing. You just had to get over the bridge and you made a left and you went right in that place. And you double parked your car. Cops would even go right past you, beep, beep, and you parked. Somebody went into the building. You rang the bell, 503. Come on up. You went on up there and there was a guy sitting there with a gun and a bag of blow. Two bags of blow. One was for 25 a gram and one was for 35 a gram. He gave you a taste of it and you had to make your choice. If you busted them, that's all they had on them was 2 ounces, maybe a little less. At that point. They're gonna be out in an hour with these guys. They already had it down to a science, you know. Now I see these weed stores that open up in la and they put their whole inventory on the wall. When the Fed shows up, they lose everything. And I'm like, those Colombians had a point. They only showed you what you needed to see.
- [92:35]
Myron
Right?
- [92:35]
Lee
Right.
- [92:36]
Joey Diaz
You need that. Give me 10 minutes, and they make a call, and it's around the corner hidden in somebody's fucking Corvette or whatever the fuck it is.
- [92:44]
Myron
Oh, it's difficult even for us. It was in regards to trying to find, you know, where the stuff is. First off, everyone's a bullshitter. I mean, like, I got the money. I got the money. Nobody had the fucking money. You want to see the dope first? You know what I mean? Whether it be coke, heroin, or whatever. And that's the games we would play. I mean, sometimes we would. Him. I actually was giving the guy 40,000, but sometimes we would have, like, flash rolls. But really, like, cops only flash money. You know, that's what I always say. Like, for instance, a cop will show you money, like to think he's legit. But the real bad guys, if you're good, you get the. On the arm. You know what I mean? Like, for instance, like, you know, you. If you got juice, I'm going to get. You're going to give me 10 kilos, you're going to trust me, you know?
- [93:22]
Joey Diaz
So, I mean, just like that?
- [93:24]
Myron
Well, yeah, because it's not. Not a lot of people trust anybody. I mean, even today or back in the day, I mean, I'm talking 10, 15, 20 years ago. Yeah, we. You know, it was hard to do these cases. You really had to have good people that infiltrated these organizations, Whether it be the Heights, whether it be the mob guys, whether it be the Mexicans. I mean, you had to have, like, serious guys that had connections. You know what I mean? You just can't go in there and, you know, do whatever the fuck you want to do. No, it doesn't work like that. The people don't trust people, you know, but, you know, money does talk. You know, what's the old saying? Money talks, bullshit walks, man. You know, like I said, when I was giving them the 40 GS, and it went the first time, they were like, this guy ain't no cop. And I did it two more times, three more times, right? He ain't no cop until the end when, yeah, motherfucker's a cop. You know, none of that.
- [94:12]
Joey Diaz
You don't even figure it out so that you got the handcuffs on. And once they put you in that cell, not on the drive, but in that cell to wait your arraignment or whatever the Fuck you wait on. You just sit till. God damn it. I never figured it out. That motherfucker. You start thinking about shit where you fucked up, but you were too high. You were too caught up in what you were doing. You got caught up in walking into the club and there's vip. You just get caught up and you make dumb mistakes. I did it. That's all that happens.
- [94:45]
Myron
Everybody does. I mean, even the best guys. I mean, like I said in regards to what we locked up people. You wait. You wait. You wait. It's like a stock, you know, you're waiting on this fucking. You know, you buy whatever you buy, I don't know, you know, Tesla. And you want to buy low, sell. You got to hold. You got to wait. You got to wait. You got to have patience and people up. You know, when you're on wire, sometimes you might have to be on a wire three, four, five months before they make one up. That one up will put you on another line. And then you're going, bro. And then you got a talker. And then all of a sudden, boom. You're like, holy. You're meeting with the attorneys. You know what I mean? You know, oh, we got this amount. We're going to lock up this. We're going to seize this, we're going to take that. You know, a lot. The game is patience, too, but everybody makes mistakes. So, I mean, in the end, like he says, people can go 15, 15, 20 years, they got all the money in the world, and then that one day comes and you're fucked. You know, it's like these guys now you're talking about. I mean, I know El Chapo, you know what I mean? He's done. You know what I mean? His family's done. I think his son tried to come into the business. He's done now. Now his wife, you know, it's new. People come on the block, you know? Yeah, I mean, it's. It's all done. You're done. You know what I mean? You had your ride and it's over.
- [95:57]
Lee
Didn't El Chapo get caught because he, like, did an interview for a movie like, about him? It was like something that was.
- [96:03]
Myron
No, he got caught because, you know, there was so many. There was. There was a movie like that, but that was Sean Penn.
- [96:11]
Lee
Yeah, but like, that's a. Whenever I watch a movie like that or hear about something like that, that. To think about someone, like, building a case against you, and you have no idea for, like, months or years, and they're building a case and you just are going about your life as normal.
- [96:25]
Joey Diaz
When you're building the case. They already had them by the balls. Let me just find them.
- [96:28]
Lee
Well, just anybody, just like anybody just.
- [96:30]
Joey Diaz
Finding that, you know.
- [96:31]
Myron
You know what it was, not only it was finding, but the other thing too, is like, do they want to give them up? Do they want to extradite him? That's the whole game. You know, when we were playing, you know, when we were trying to play nice with the Mexican government and stuff like that, you know, still give you some things, but then they won't give you everything. Everything, like I said, it all goes back to money. Life always goes back to money. You know what I mean? And. And that's what it is. These guys are making so much money off these guys. Even if you're. You're a top politician in Mexico, you get this Guy's giving you 5, 6 billion, you're gonna listen to some American DEA guy or, or some, you know what I mean? You know, I don't know. Cabinet, you know who.
- [97:05]
Joey Diaz
Lisa. And it's never heard of it. No. No, sir. Anybody. Lee. No, no, no, no, no. Colombia. They don't know nothing down there. That's why, listen, I don't have a passport, and there's times when I still live in la, people go, I get you in, and I'm like, not in a million. I ain't going in there undocumented. There's no fucking way. They do some nasty shit down there. Yeah, it's cute. You get great burritos. I'm okay. I'm good. I just didn't trust it. There was something about Mexico and. Dog, I was a coke fiend and didn't trust it. There's no reason to go to Mexico and get coke. Snort it. They're gonna rob you, and what, are you gonna bring it over that fucking bridge. Now you gotta do 55 years just to go, no, leave me alone. I can find it in San Diego.
- [98:00]
Lee
How frustrating is it from, like, your point of the agents, like, the politics of it, like, someone gets away because of, like, a mistake or, like, you know, like just the politics of it. Does it piss you guys off?
- [98:13]
Myron
The politics plays a big part. It actually played a bigger part with, with the. And I have a lot of friends that are first grade detectives that are retired now. But the reason why they retired, probably, like when I retired is, you know, when you start locking up people and for instance, they got two guns on them, and then the ADA is letting them out fucking like a week later, you know, that. That's what hurts, you know what I mean? Because then, you know, like, drugs is one thing, and that kills people, but, you know, guns, I mean, come on, man. You know what I mean? And you see what happens when these kids or guys go back on the street, they're doing harm. And you know what? It frustrates you, you know what I mean? Because you could take the fact that, you know, okay, I was going after this drug deal, I didn't get them. There's a lot of guys I didn't get. Our group didn't get. But, you know, eventually somebody will get them. But a lot of the times they weren't really hurting anybody. There's. There's certain ethnicities I hate to say, but, like, you know, that. That really will hurt you. Like, the Mexicans will hurt you, you know what I mean? The Jamaicans will hurt you, you know what I mean? You know, Italian guys, that's business to them, you know, these guys like Sammy the Bull and, you know, I know he's out doing his shows now. And, you know, a lot of these guys, they were doing things to their own people, you know what I mean? And, you know, you got to expect that in the game, the game of life, you know, if you're gonna hurt somebody that's a drug dealer, well, they're going to hurt you back. You know, it's. Is it fair? I don't know. I guess it is, you know, but when you start hurting innocent people and kids and bullets start flying, that's when you got to draw the line. And, you know, like. Like what happened with our agent, you know, Hatcher, you know, this. This guy, you know, he was out of control, right? And he ended up killing him over what? Because he was high and, you know, he just wanted to do what he wanted to do. I mean, Farachi and again, me and my partner, Eric Stangby, we locked up the guys that. Mario Gallo was one of them, on that first case. I did, and Jimmy Galleon. Now, these guys were the ones responsible for killing Gus Farace. They killed him, you know, because of this. And when we locked him up on the drug charges, we also had. We also superseded with the murder on Farachi. So they did their time. They're out, and I think, who knows where they are now? But that's the only guy. I mean, I'll tell you, Mario Gallo was one of the guys. And it's just a name. You guys don't know him. But when we locked all these motherfuckers up, he was the Only guy that basically said to me, go fuck myself. He's not cooperating. You know what I mean? And I shook his hand and I said, like, wow, you know, all right, I'll leave you the fuck alone. You know what I mean? And he did his time. The other guys, no, they. Right away, I mean, I was moving one guy and these guys are all over, you know, they're all in these podcasts and these YouTube shows that they got these guys hosting these shows and they talking about mob. Mob related things and whatnot. And I know it's sexy and people like that, but the reality of it is, man, you know, it's a. It's a dangerous game. And it's a shame that, like I said, when you're a young kid and you get involved in this and you're going to do 20, 25 years for what? You know what I mean? I don't know. You know, jail is horrible. I started as a correction. It's hard. Horrible to be in jail. You know what I mean? It's. It sucks, you know, Nothing like a.
- [101:16]
Joey Diaz
Man kicking your bed.
- [101:18]
Myron
Yeah.
- [101:18]
Joey Diaz
And telling you to get the up.
- [101:20]
Myron
Right.
- [101:20]
Joey Diaz
You know what? That.
- [101:21]
Myron
We're ready to eat, you know, let's go.
- [101:23]
Joey Diaz
What? Eat. They would kick the bed until you get the up and put the light on. And your first instinct is grabbing by the neck.
- [101:30]
Myron
Yeah.
- [101:31]
Joey Diaz
You just got to sit there and go, what the was that? Yeah. So that was enough for me. But I gotta ask you something. Listen, I don't know where I would have ended up. I love smoking pot. And then the 80s came along and I'm not gonna blame the death on my mom. I have a mind and I can make my own decisions. But I saw what drugs did. I saw, you know, I saw people getting high and taking hits of mescaline and drinking. They were fine. And then there were the idiots up. There was always a patch in North Bergen that hid heroin, whatever. But all of a sudden I saw this community just get taken by cocaine. And that's. Never mind. West New York, Union City. That was a fucking. That's where they were. They were cleaning it down there. It was just so. It's kind of weird how for fucking 50 years, right? 84. When was Reagan in early 80s.
- [102:33]
Myron
Yeah.
- [102:33]
Joey Diaz
Yeah. You know, his wife went on and. We're gonna fight the war on drugs.
- [102:36]
Myron
Yeah.
- [102:37]
Joey Diaz
What the fuck has happened?
- [102:40]
Myron
It happens quick, man. You know, it gets out of control. Listen again, it goes back to money. There's so much money to be made because there's a lot of people that are depressed out there. There's a lot of people that, you know, are just. In a bad way and, you know, for whatever reason, that's. That that might be their cup of tea. Whether they. Whether it's drinking, whether it's this. And, you know, you're always gonna. You're always gonna find it's never gonna end, but you got. Somebody's got to be there. And I'll say, like the dea, nypd, all other cops. Someone's got to be there to.
- [103:07]
Joey Diaz
To.
- [103:07]
Myron
To make them know that there are repercussions and there is a risk, you know, so you always got.
- [103:13]
Joey Diaz
Yeah.
- [103:14]
Myron
You know what I mean? You just can't let, like, a lot of people illegalize this, legalize that. Nah, I understand. The marijuana I don't have a problem with.
- [103:20]
Joey Diaz
No, I do, at some stages. We'll talk about that some other time. Lee, what were you gonna say?
- [103:26]
Lee
No, I was actually gonna ask about that about. Cause there are some cities that have completely decriminalized it.
- [103:33]
Joey Diaz
That's it. It's either legal. Who's gonna. Who's got the nerve to take a joint off here when you're in a fucking rental car and bring you in, Unless you act like an asshole or have alcohol in your breath, then anybody would bring in. But. But forget about the marijuana. Look at all the synthetic stuff they're bringing in. You got meth that's making a comeback. Meth is never gone. Yeah, like my buddies or whatever. Yeah, I got you in la. And he told me, he goes, during the pandemic, I sold a bunch of coke. When the pandemic ended, it became meth. Yeah, it was meth by the fucking ton. I couldn't even get it in on.
- [104:09]
Myron
Time because they're making meth also in the Midwest with. With a lot of, like, things you can buy at the pharmacy. You know, it's like hillbilly shit. You know what I mean? They actually. There's been so many times where they're cooking, they're cooking, and they're blowing themselves up, you know what I mean? All of a sudden, someone opens the door and the whole meth lab explodes. I mean, it's nuts. It's nuts, man.
- [104:32]
Joey Diaz
It's just, you know, you sit here now 30 years and listen, I was a consumer, you know, I remember when Nancy Reagan said that. I'm like, man, you better start snorting coke because of the war on drugs. You better get as much as you can. Cause it's real. Cocksuckers. And it never ended. Yeah. And then, listen, I really love smoking marijuana. I can't do it anymore.
- [104:56]
Myron
God bless you.
- [104:57]
Joey Diaz
I enjoyed it as a kid. Thinking back, it just took away that piece of anxiety.
- [105:02]
Myron
Yeah.
- [105:02]
Joey Diaz
Just did something it made you feel.
- [105:04]
Myron
Turned the button a little bit.
- [105:06]
Joey Diaz
I didn't like drinking. I loved that shit. Look like a false sleep at night.
- [105:09]
Myron
Yeah.
- [105:10]
Joey Diaz
Did I think? I always thought buying marijuana is getting your check on Friday and getting a bag. Stopping at the liquor store and then stopping at Benny Blanco's house and getting an eighth for 90 bucks.
- [105:25]
Myron
Would you say Benny Blanco?
- [105:26]
Joey Diaz
Yeah.
- [105:26]
Myron
From the Bronx.
- [105:27]
Joey Diaz
Yeah. And putting it in your trunk.
- [105:29]
Myron
That was a good movie.
- [105:30]
Joey Diaz
And driving home in fear like that, you might get pulled over. That was old thing. Now we walk into a store. Hi, how are you? Let me see your id. Oh, my God. Returning customer or first timer?
- [105:42]
Myron
You know what? It's funny you say that, because I'm not going to get into names again, but for someone's 60th birthday party. First time I ever went in as a DEA guy, I went to a town down the shore. And it's a big place. And long story short, again, I go there. I'm a little nervous. I mean, but it's like legit. You can go in. In there. So, no. What does Myron do? He pulls in the parking lot. I'm surveilling the place. Is this legit? Who's going in there? You know what I mean? Okay. I walk in there, it's like, you're at Best Buy. I go to the counter. How are you? Where's your license? No problem. Now go through these other two doors. I go through these other two doors. Now I'm in a assembly line. It's like the dmv, you know what I mean? And I'm behind a whole bunch of people. Then all of a sudden, guy goes like this, over here. Here. I go, okay. I go, I'm looking to buy some, you know, marijuana for a birthday present. You know what I mean? He goes, well, I. And I go, I don't know what the he got. Okay. What do you think? I don't want to kill the guy. And he goes, well, I would try this. And I go, you know, this is the first time I've done this. I says, you know, I used to be a DEA guy. I used to laugh. He goes, Dea, dea. You get 25 off. I go, holy. I says, nice, you know? Know. But I. It was like. I'll be honest with you. It was funny because, like, wow.
- [106:57]
Joey Diaz
You know what I mean?
- [106:58]
Myron
What's that.
- [106:59]
Joey Diaz
Who would have thought?
- [107:00]
Myron
And the guy was like. Was almost like park clothes, you know? I mean like Wally World. Remember that show? It was like the guy looked just like that. I was laughing. I went home, told my wife, I said, I took care of him. I got 25 off. Yeah.
- [107:14]
Joey Diaz
Plantopia has a drive in. You go online, order and you go to the window. And you don't have to get out of your fucking car.
- [107:23]
Myron
Yeah, nice.
- [107:23]
Joey Diaz
Okay. And then it's. You have to pay cash. That's the only thing they have. They don't have the ATM set up. Yeah, cash is kicked at 7am for you fucking early birds. And for you insomniacs. They closed on 11 and then midnight or one on the weekends. Are you fucking kidding me?
- [107:41]
Myron
Holy shit. That's big business, man.
- [107:43]
Joey Diaz
That means 10:30, you got nothing to do. All of a sudden, 11:00, the Exorcist coming it. I'll take a run to shoprite. Drive through the weed store.
- [107:52]
Myron
Yeah, I still can't watch that show. That scares the shit out.
- [107:55]
Joey Diaz
Which one?
- [107:55]
Myron
Yeah, yeah, that says one.
- [107:57]
Joey Diaz
Meanwhile, you see a guy got hit in the head with a golf club and there's blood on the fucking.
- [108:00]
Myron
Yeah, yeah. No, that don't bother me.
- [108:01]
Joey Diaz
But I'm telling you what, that don't bother me.
- [108:03]
Myron
No, the Exorcist one, that bothers me. That's my.
- [108:06]
Joey Diaz
You considered writing a book? I know you're retired now and you can't sleep and you won't go to yacht.
- [108:13]
Myron
That's the fucking problem. Do you ever think about writing a book?
- [108:16]
Joey Diaz
You need to start writing a book.
- [108:18]
Myron
Yeah, there's a.
- [108:18]
Joey Diaz
There's a lot of interesting guy. Get yourself a little security job where you just watch a guy walk from point A to point B. Yeah. Listen, you're on your own. They start shooting, I don't know nothing.
- [108:31]
Myron
Well, I gotta say one thing. Besides the dea. You know what I mean? And I know Johnny. I bought a friend over here, Johnny. He could tell you stories, man. We had the best times in our lives. We always had shore houses, houses. He still had them. Up until last year, he just purchased a house. But I mean, the shit we seen and the shit we did is. I mean, I could write a book about that, never mind. The dea, he could tell you stories about vacations. We went on that.
- [108:58]
Joey Diaz
I mean, what did you specialize in the dea? Like what division were you everywhere?
- [109:03]
Myron
I was first. We were. We were mob guys. We worked the mob. And I was to death for years. And then you Know, it was just then like a knock around kind of group where we did whatever, which turned out to be some mob guys, too. And then I ran. At the end of my career, my last five years, I ran asset forfeiture. I had like 35 people under me. But, like, for instance, when we do all these cases, long story short, if we take airplanes, we take your money. We take fucking everything. We take horses, we take cars. I can go on gold bars, coins, stocks. And they all come through me, through my group. And we were going to Brinks once a week. And I kid you not, in the five years I was doing that, every week, there'd be at least $2 million in cash that we would have to take to the Brinks. And we'd have to have two or three guys go, you know, so nobody could, you know, you never know. Somebody might get a tip on us and, you know, try to fucking steal the money. You know what I mean? So, I mean, so I ran Asset Forfeiture, which was a nice. It was a slowed down pace, but it got to be too crazy, you know. And I said, let me pull up the stakes because of the things I said with the. With the way just law enforcement was going. And I've been there 30 years. Over 30 years. So I think that was enough blood to give, you know what I mean? I mean, I could have done more, but, you know, I was tired. Now I'm fucking tired and I can't sleep. So I might. I might. I might have to take you up on one of these fucking Slim Jim things you got.
- [110:27]
Joey Diaz
You'll be out for two days, happy as a pig.
- [110:30]
Myron
As I tell you what, as long as somebody wakes me up every four hours to eat. Yeah, you know what I mean? I gotta eat.
- [110:35]
Joey Diaz
Nah, we got one of those piss tubes. Oh, that you take home. We'll just push onto the mattress.
- [110:40]
Myron
I like the piss tubes.
- [110:41]
Joey Diaz
Oh, yeah? Yeah.
- [110:42]
Myron
Johnny. Before I had to take a squirt before he had a can. Back in the day when we were on surveillance, man, we couldn't get out and piss, so we'd piss in, you know, like bottles. I didn't piss in front of your place here, if there's any cameras. But I did across the street, right?
- [110:56]
Joey Diaz
Dude, Myron, whenever you decide to write a book, let me know, all right? I'll hook you up with a girl. That's really good. Oh, yeah, you got some good stories. Why fucking sit there like a babush? Guys like you can't fucking retire.
- [111:10]
Myron
You know what?
- [111:11]
Joey Diaz
I've been around you for three hours, I'm like, this motherfucker. What, retire? You still got a lot of life left to you. Yeah, I know you're not ready to go to South Carolina and to sit there.
- [111:20]
Myron
Although I do like Charleston. It was nice, but.
- [111:22]
Joey Diaz
Yeah, you know what? I like a wife, too. But that don't mean I'm flying there tomorrow to sit and look at a beach.
- [111:27]
Myron
I agree with you.
- [111:28]
Joey Diaz
We're not PI 100.
- [111:30]
Myron
Yeah.
- [111:30]
Joey Diaz
We're not going to move to the beach and arrest people.
- [111:32]
Myron
Yeah. I'm not dumb. I'm glad I got out of the house. You got me out of the house. I know my wife probably said, hey, get this guy out of here.
- [111:40]
Joey Diaz
I was just sitting there today and I go, I told Myron I wanted to get him on and talk to him about whatever. And here we are.
- [111:47]
Myron
Yeah.
- [111:48]
Joey Diaz
Not blowing smoke up here. You're an interesting fucking guy.
- [111:51]
Myron
I appreciate that.
- [111:51]
Joey Diaz
I know you had to keep some of the names and dates, you know, to protect yourself.
- [111:55]
Myron
Like I said, my memory has to be jarred a little bit. But again, I thank you all for inviting me. You're a good group of guys here. And I tell you what, it brings back a lot of memories, you know?
- [112:07]
Joey Diaz
Yeah. Good, good. I'm happy we got you out.
- [112:09]
Myron
Thank you.
- [112:09]
Joey Diaz
We'll give you an edible on the way out. And empanada.
- [112:12]
Myron
Good.
- [112:12]
Joey Diaz
You'll be tipped.
- [112:13]
Myron
Nothing with caffeine in it, bro.
- [112:15]
Joey Diaz
Listen, no Spanish people, they know how to.
- [112:17]
Myron
Oh, absolutely.
- [112:17]
Joey Diaz
You just pass the out. They put Xanax or something Mexican. The Cubans put something in there.
- [112:23]
Myron
You fall asleep eating the emperor pins and the. Right. The Valiums and.
- [112:28]
Joey Diaz
No, no, they put something in that food. The Cubans. One minute you're home eating them Panado. Next minute you wake up at four and Telemundo's on. You know what I'm saying? People going back and forth with Moroccos. You're like, what happened?
- [112:41]
Myron
I just. I just wanted to give one little shout out. I mean, because, I mean, I was talking about a lot of these cases. And when we first started bringing the cases to Eastern District, the mob cases, it was a AUSA over there by the name of Jim Walden. And Jim Walden's running for mayor now for New York as an independent. And, you know, he's a very good guy, very knowledgeable, and I wish him well. And I just wanted to throw his name out there. You know, he's got his stuff together and it might be a good change to get away from what? New York Normal assembly Elects. You know what I mean? I don't want to again get into.
- [113:12]
Joey Diaz
Politics, but the show is all felons, so forget it.
- [113:15]
Myron
Oh, okay.
- [113:15]
Joey Diaz
This is not nobody.
- [113:17]
Myron
You can't vote when you're in jail.
- [113:18]
Joey Diaz
Listen, all. He is a felons. Cover your ears, you know?
- [113:21]
Myron
You have anybody else calling in over here that for you? Any other guys? Mob guys?
- [113:27]
Joey Diaz
If they call in?
- [113:28]
Myron
Yeah.
- [113:31]
Joey Diaz
I don't like people calling in.
- [113:33]
Myron
Okay.
- [113:34]
Joey Diaz
Just random people. Yeah, they're crazy.
- [113:36]
Myron
Yeah.
- [113:37]
Joey Diaz
They'll sit there on the phones, and next thing you know, they're banging on your window. I've been on the phone for an hour.
- [113:42]
Myron
And you're like, no, they're probably gonna have some of his empanadas if they find out how good they are and shit.
- [113:49]
Joey Diaz
Listen, man, we saw this is My World right now. We saw the Godfather. We saw Goodfellas. And then at the end of the day, no matter what the fuck you talk, tell me. Yeah, we saw a tv. A TV series that swept America off their feet.
- [114:11]
Myron
You know Miami.
- [114:13]
Joey Diaz
What Miami? I'm talking about the fucking Sopranos.
- [114:15]
Myron
Oh, the Sopranos. I thought you were going back to Miami. I'm sorry, brother.
- [114:19]
Joey Diaz
For an example, Miami Vice was Miami Vice. But it's like, I tell people, in 97, I did a show and I had to send a resume, and the agent called me immediately, and she's like, I gotta talk to you. I'm like, what? She goes, you gotta take North Bergen, New Jersey, off your resume.
- [114:38]
Myron
Yeah.
- [114:38]
Joey Diaz
She goes, I don't really want people to see that.
- [114:40]
Myron
Really?
- [114:41]
Joey Diaz
Always go to New York City. I go, all right, put New York City down. It's gonna get me a role. This is when Springsteen was out. You know, all these animals are out. The Sopranos came out. It was completely different to put New Jersey on your resume.
- [114:56]
Myron
Oh, yeah, man. I love that show. I mean, I never missed an episode. That was amazing.
- [114:59]
Joey Diaz
And I'm at the point in my life right now, at least I am, that I think I've seen the best of it when people approach me for Mafia scripts. Now if I see Gino or Vinnie.
- [115:10]
Myron
Yeah, yeah.
- [115:11]
Joey Diaz
The second page goes back. I'm not interested.
- [115:13]
Myron
Yeah, I don't blame. I'll be honest. I don't blame you.
- [115:15]
Joey Diaz
I'm not interested. It's not interesting no more. Yeah, give me the mob. 20, 25. You got three black dudes in now. You got a Dominican.
- [115:23]
Myron
Yeah.
- [115:24]
Joey Diaz
80 years are in jail. The other ones are fat and old. Nobody gives a. Nobody's kicking up to these guys. They're 80. You're done. You can't shoot nobody. You ain't good to me. Get the out. You know? I mean, give me something like that. That's real. Yeah. So I just can't. What were we talking about? These edibles are kicking.
- [115:41]
Lee
Sopranos.
- [115:42]
Myron
No, you took about the Sopranos and.
- [115:43]
Joey Diaz
How the Sopranos were so good that. What's kind of. What's kind of replace that now?
- [115:48]
Myron
Nothing.
- [115:49]
Joey Diaz
What story are you gonna come at me? As a matter of fact, your boy just became councilman in the town next to you.
- [115:55]
Myron
I know who he is. John. John.
- [115:58]
Joey Diaz
He just. You saw him on the news. He's all over the news people.
- [116:03]
Myron
He was legit, too. I mean, he was the real deal. You know who he was with, right? Yeah.
- [116:07]
Joey Diaz
I go to the weed store, people are like, do you know John? He wants to meet. I don't know fucking John. I don't know no John. He's like the mayor of Englishtown now or something. That's the best weed store in town. The fucking.
- [116:17]
Myron
Well, that's. How could you believe that?
- [116:19]
Joey Diaz
And I. Look, I love John, and I believe John.
- [116:22]
Myron
Yeah.
- [116:23]
Joey Diaz
But I tell you what. There's 22 guys now running their mouths.
- [116:28]
Myron
Yeah.
- [116:31]
Joey Diaz
And 11 of them turned evidence. I mean, and I'm a big fan of Sammy.
- [116:39]
Myron
Yeah, I seen some of his things. And listen, no disrespect towards anybody. I mean, they did their thing, but they're doing their thing now. They still want to be there. They still want to talk about. They love it. It's like. You know what I mean? It's in them.
- [116:53]
Joey Diaz
I stopped by Sammy on Instagram every other day, and he's talking to you like it's 1984. So I talked to Paul, and I told Paul, and you're like, do you think these kids even have an idea what the fuck you're talking about? Try to sell anything Gotti now, you're not gonna sell a ticket. People don't want to hear that shit no more. Gotti's been beat up to death, if not just throwing mobsters. Every Sunday, it's the same episode since 1998.
- [117:24]
Myron
Sammy, let me just cut you off. Sammy, you know, he went back after he got out and dea. And I know about this because I know the people that were involved with that. You know what happened to him when he went out, when he's in the program, Right? He went to Arizona and he got. Got his kid, you know, his kid involved with a lot of things, and they got locked up again with that ecstasy thing. Which I never even hit on because I worked a lot of the Russian guys, and. And that was unbelievable stories with the Russian guys and. And the ecstasy. But. Yeah, and another little thing. You know, perhaps if you have me on another time, maybe you don't want to hear my anymore. But. But. But. Because I'm getting very dry in the mouth right now.
- [118:01]
Joey Diaz
Drink the water.
- [118:02]
Myron
No, I got. I've been doing it, man. But I've been thinking about that. Taking that edible. And that's even drying me out more. But getting back to, you know, we were working a guy on Mob Wives. We locked up my group. My. I was a supervisor there, but we had locked up Renee Graziano.
- [118:18]
Joey Diaz
Right.
- [118:19]
Myron
You know, And. And the big person in that is Hector Pagan. I mean, I don't know if you look him up. Yeah. But he was actually. He was with us when he was on the show, if you catch my drift, you understand? And. And. And. But he did his own. Then he come out, and I think Graziano Anthony, he. He testified against her father, who was a big weed guy over in Brooklyn. So that. That was very, very interesting. Yeah. And you could see his shit. A couple YouTubers did a nice little thing on him, you know what I mean? That. That I saw recently was. It was pretty interesting because I didn't realize all the shit he. You know, he was actually pretty well liked, and he was with, like, big guys.
- [119:00]
Joey Diaz
TG Graziano.
- [119:01]
Myron
No, I'm talking about Hector Pagan. You know, he was good friends with Joe Massimino, who was, you know, very big. And, you know, but, you know, they all get caught. You know, That's. That's.
- [119:13]
Joey Diaz
He ratted at the end.
- [119:14]
Myron
Well, that's what I'm saying.
- [119:15]
Joey Diaz
And he was fucking brilliant at the end.
- [119:17]
Myron
Yeah.
- [119:17]
Joey Diaz
Cause he came out, he said, fuck these hangouts. I don't want you hanging out no more. Everybody's got to get a job. Everybody. Everybody's got to get off the corner. No more fucking jumpsuits. No more gold chains.
- [119:30]
Myron
I have the silver. Who's the guy over there? There's a Sergio Takachino we're fucking hiding.
- [119:36]
Joey Diaz
You know what I'm saying? And he shut it down for a while, but you're always gonna make big fucking mistakes with cash. Always. The accountants came in. The FBI, forensic accountants came in. You just might as well get the fucking noose ready when them motherfuckers come. Those are the people that killed Jesus. When they show up, you know, four of those motherfuckers show up, you might as well just go put the Cuffs on. Don't even bother. Don't even bother. I'll tell you on the way there, you know what I'm saying? Because it's over. They got. They're all nerds with glasses. They don't know nothing. They don't want to know pussy.
- [120:09]
Myron
You know when they got the calculator in their fucking hand?
- [120:12]
Joey Diaz
Trust me.
- [120:12]
Myron
And the number two pencil in their ear?
- [120:14]
Joey Diaz
Trust me. When they come Dog Guisot, they come with the chemistry set. And it's over. It's over, guys. So once the forensic accountants come, just call your mother, tell her, Listen, Ma, it's over. You gotta get back the jewelry I gave you three years ago. Cause they're coming to get that any minute now. You're right, brother man. It's a real pleasure to have you on.
- [120:36]
Myron
Well, thank you for having me.
- [120:37]
Joey Diaz
I want to have you on again.
- [120:38]
Myron
No problem. Sure. There's more stories and stuff. And maybe by that time I'll have, like, a book written or something, you know?
- [120:44]
Joey Diaz
No, I would love it. I'm telling you.
- [120:46]
Myron
I mean, I got a lot of things in my mind, but I got to get them somewhere before the mind goes, you know what I mean?
- [120:51]
Joey Diaz
You got to run it through an attorney. You got to send to the D. A for clearance, and that's a hand job.
- [120:56]
Myron
Yeah. I don't know if I. I don't know if I got to do that anymore because I'm retired. I don't know.
- [121:01]
Joey Diaz
I don't respect. So they don't call you back in and bust your ball.
- [121:04]
Myron
Yeah.
- [121:04]
Joey Diaz
But it's pretty interesting. This is the most interesting thing I'm gonna tell you. And then we'll get the. Out of here.
- [121:08]
Myron
Yeah.
- [121:12]
Joey Diaz
Was on the podcast before we. The. Before the pandemic. Wolf. What's his name? The Wolf of Wall Street.
- [121:20]
Lee
Oh.
- [121:20]
Joey Diaz
Remember I gave him quail from the 80s?
- [121:23]
Myron
Oh, the wolf of Wall Street. That was Jordan Belfort.
- [121:25]
Joey Diaz
The movie.
- [121:26]
Myron
Yeah, I understand. I know what it was.
- [121:27]
Joey Diaz
Benicio Del Toro. Well, yeah, he was on the show. The real Wolf.
- [121:31]
Myron
Yeah.
- [121:31]
Joey Diaz
Came on the show. We were talking about shit. And all of a sudden he goes, I don't know if you know how I wrote my story. And I go, why? He goes, chong was my jail mate, my cellmate.
- [121:40]
Myron
Oh, okay.
- [121:41]
Joey Diaz
In the Federal. And he told me I was telling them stories about the stock market.
- [121:45]
Myron
Yeah. Because all the mob guys were. That's what they were doing. There was a couple of names, you know. But what they were doing. You know what they do, they push certain stocks and these Guys don't even have licenses. And then they close it down and they. They short it, you know, and that. That was. You know, we were looking into a lot of those guys, too. But, I mean.
- [122:02]
Joey Diaz
Yeah, he talked them into writing a book.
- [122:04]
Myron
Yeah.
- [122:05]
Joey Diaz
And it became a movie. Yeah, that's my point.
- [122:07]
Myron
That's a. Yeah, that's a. That's what I'm saying to you.
- [122:10]
Joey Diaz
Sitting there bored. Write a movie.
- [122:12]
Myron
Yeah.
- [122:13]
Lee
Just. Just to give you a heads up, he is going to take 10 points just for. As the manager.
- [122:18]
Joey Diaz
Five. Five.
- [122:19]
Lee
Five. Just five?
- [122:20]
Myron
Yeah. He can have. He can have more than that, man. I don't get.
- [122:22]
Joey Diaz
He's family, dog. Come on.
- [122:24]
Lee
How can you always charge me 10?
- [122:25]
Joey Diaz
Because I gotta hold your hand. You're gonna call me at night? Did I make the right move? I mean. Yeah. I need that in my life. Two in the morning, Lee. What's up? I can't sleep. This manager's got me going crazy. I'm over here, you know, dreaming about fucking hanging out with the dea. And all of a sudden.
- [122:45]
Myron
Yeah, but it was. It was nice coming. Nice. You're a great guy. All you guys are good guys. You bought some great empanadas. You got a funny laugh. And you got to work on that head cold, man.
- [122:54]
Lee
Trying.
- [122:55]
Myron
You take some. Vic. My mother. You should put some dicks by my.
- [122:58]
Joey Diaz
I'm back in 10 minutes. He'll be healed because he got sick once. I came back with.
- [123:03]
Myron
No, I didn't.
- [123:03]
Joey Diaz
The Mac daddy of Mac daddies. He started getting sick last Wednesday. When he saw the box. He started getting twitches. And he knew that Lent. He knew that Lent was here.
- [123:14]
Myron
What is this? Just like.
- [123:15]
Joey Diaz
Like nicotine nicotine pouches. They come in 3, 6, 9, 12. Forget about it.
- [123:22]
Myron
What, do I got to put a couple quarters in there?
- [123:23]
Joey Diaz
No, no, no. I'll hook you up with one on the way.
- [123:25]
Myron
I'm good, man.
- [123:26]
Joey Diaz
You put one under your chest. Forget it. You'll be.
- [123:28]
Myron
No, I can't do that.
- [123:30]
Joey Diaz
On the parkway. Hey, you got your old badge. I just put it there with a disco light.
- [123:35]
Myron
Now I do have it.
- [123:36]
Joey Diaz
They don't know nothing. Just put the badge up with a disco light. That's it. Nobody knows nothing. Nobody will even stop you. That's the funny thing.
- [123:46]
Myron
Johnny, you got anything to say, brother? Oh, God.
- [123:49]
Joey Diaz
Don't get him started. Don't get him started. We got to get the fuck out of here.
- [123:54]
Myron
The Goat Bar. But holy fuck, don't tell.
- [123:56]
Joey Diaz
No, we'll get the fuck out of here. Next time we'll talk about the goat.
- [123:58]
Myron
The Go bar was.
- [123:59]
Joey Diaz
Now it's time to eat. I'm already hungry. You know what I'm saying? I'm already thinking about shit.
- [124:04]
Myron
We out.
- [124:04]
Joey Diaz
We out. Like whatever. Lee, where you at this weekend?
- [124:08]
Lee
March 29th. Broadway Comedy Club, 5:30pm look at them.
- [124:11]
Joey Diaz
Don't forget to be there. Austin Moontower is officially sold out. But you got May 18th at the park's motherfucking casino. Yeah, right. Or August.
- [124:23]
Myron
May.
- [124:24]
Joey Diaz
May, May. We're working on May here. And come out. And that's it. And that's that. I'll keep your post to Lee. That's all you got?
- [124:31]
Lee
That's all I got. Josh Wolf at Stanford Comedy Club in two years.
- [124:34]
Joey Diaz
You go to Stanford?
- [124:35]
Myron
Wake something up, brother.
- [124:36]
Joey Diaz
When are you going to Stanford?
- [124:37]
Lee
Stanford, New York Comedy Club in two weeks.
- [124:38]
Joey Diaz
Oh, Stanford, New York. Okay.
- [124:39]
Lee
Stanford, Connecticut.
- [124:40]
Joey Diaz
I thought you're going to the old Stanford. The guy had the wig. That's a complete other story. I love you savages. See you next week. Week. Have a great week and get ready for April. What's happening? Beautiful people. Uncle Joey here. It's March 20th, 5th. Yes. Listen, I want to talk to you about something. Summertime is coming. You know what that means? It's time to head down to pound town. Da da da da da. You need to be able to get that thing up there. And that's where Uncle Joey comes in. Bluetooth. Make sure you're ready whenever the mood arises. Whether you're on the beach, under the tunnel, wherever you're at, you're ready to go. Sign up at Bluechew, meet with one of their licensed medical providers, and once you get approved, forget about it. Your prescription will be there in days. Bluechew works. They're serious. They come in little pouches. You put one in your wallet and when you're ready for war, bam, there you are. Anyway, no more wishing. No more praying for your little fucking dick to work. Those days are over with. Make life easier by getting harder and discover your options@bluechew.com. it's summertime. These women got tons of options. Tons of options. So you better show up with a cape, a helmet and a box of Blue Chew. Now this is what I'm going to do for these nice people. You can get Blue Chew for free for one month. That's right. You can try it on your own. After you try it for one month, you're going to go, joey, where have you been all my life? It's that easy. First month, Bluechew for free. When you press in. Promo code Joey. J O, E Y. Again, Joey, J O E y. Just pay $5 for shipping. That's promo code, Joey. Visit bluechew.com for more details and important safety information. And I want to thank Bluechew for sponsoring the show and for helping young men sling some dick in 2025. You know what I'm saying? It's the summertime time. Fourth of July is coming. I love you guys.