Have some dignity!

Summary

Podcast Summary: "Have Some Dignity!"

Podcast Information:

• Title: The Church of What's Happening Now: The New Testament
• Hosts: Joey Coco Diaz (Uncle Joey) and Lee Syatt
• Episode: Have Some Dignity!
• Release Date: July 15, 2025

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1. Financial Struggles and Personal Finance

The episode opens with Uncle Joey and Lee Syatt discussing the pressures of financial obligations, emphasizing the stress of paying rent and mortgages. Uncle Joey humorously vents about the swift passage of time, remarking on how quickly dates pass from celebrating the 4th of July to realizing it's already the 15th.

• Notable Quote:
  • [00:58] A: "Look, it's the fucking 15th already."

Lee shares his strategy of paying the mortgage as late as possible to retain every last penny, contrasting with Joey's preference to pay bills on time.

• Notable Quote:
  • [01:26] B: "I hate it. I always wait as late as I can and it makes me so happy, dog."

2. Weekend Activities and Personal Life

Both hosts share snippets of their weekends. Lee attended a Tara Filmer special at a unique theater location, while Uncle Joey discusses his upcoming move and reflects on aging from 23 to 37 years old.

• Notable Quote:
  • [02:10] A: "Doing all types of edibles and more sugar in the pills and the whole thing. How was your weekend?"

3. Health Issues and Medical Experiences

Uncle Joey delves into a personal health scare involving a lipoma removal that resulted in 60 stitches. He recounts the experience of undergoing the procedure, highlighting his resilience and unique physiological reactions, such as stomach discomfort leading to immediate bowel movements. The conversation shifts to past medical anecdotes, including a humorous yet crude story about an incident with his former doctor.

• Notable Quote:
  • [03:25] A: "Somebody gave me 60 fucking stitches. Whatever happened to three stitches or two stitches?"

4. Edibles and Cannabis Use

A significant portion of the episode is dedicated to discussing edibles. Uncle Joey humorously critiques the taste and potency of various edibles, sharing his adventures and mishaps with high dosages. He emphasizes the importance of maintaining "dignity" while consuming edibles, highlighting his ability to keep a "poker face" despite being under the influence.

• Notable Quote:
  • [16:35] A: "Why eat a brownie with no fucking THC in it?"

Lee contrasts his own reactions, noting how Uncle Joey's high doesn't visibly affect him, unlike his own experiences.

• Notable Quote:
  • [22:07] B: "But you're not giving people 5 milligram candies."

5. Food and Restaurant Critiques

The hosts engage in a lively discussion about various restaurants and their food offerings. Uncle Joey passionately shares his preferences for authentic soups and criticizes the decline in quality at chain restaurants like Carvel. They reminisce about favorite local spots and debate the merits of different cuisines, reflecting Joey's strong opinions on maintaining culinary standards.

• Notable Quote:
  • [24:13] A: "I want a brownie with THC and some almonds in that motherfucker, then we got something to talk about."

6. Critique of Hollywood and Celebrity Culture

Uncle Joey shifts the conversation to a critical examination of Hollywood, expressing disdain for the prevalent culture of entitlement and sexual deviance. He touches on serious topics like the Epstein scandal, emphasizing his frustration with how influential figures abuse their power and the lack of accountability within the industry.

• Notable Quote:
  • [45:00] A: "The level of sexual deviancy in Hollywood is one that you'll never understand."

7. Social and Political Commentary

The episode delves into broader social issues, including the impact of financial debt on personal relationships and mental health. Uncle Joey shares his views on systemic problems like the influence of money in political and judicial systems, expressing skepticism about potential reforms and highlighting his focus on personal well-being over societal concerns.

• Notable Quote:
  • [58:12] A: "We are stress about it for about eight minutes, okay? And then you go, I put it in God's hands. I'll hit the lottery."

8. Acting Career and Movie Releases

Uncle Joey discusses his involvement in acting, sharing experiences from recent movie projects and upcoming releases like "Guns Up." He reflects on the challenges of sustaining an acting career alongside comedy and personal responsibilities, expressing both frustration and passion for the craft.

• Notable Quote:
  • [66:03] A: "I have no fucking idea, okay? It's not gonna get a theatrical release because the fucking Fantastic Four is coming out this week."

9. Closing Remarks and Upcoming Plans

As the episode wraps up, the hosts talk about their future plans, including upcoming comedy shows and Joey's scheduled mouth surgery. They share light-hearted banter about their personal lives and tease future content, maintaining the show's signature blend of humor and candid conversation.

• Notable Quote:
  • [73:07] B: "I have mouth surgery on Thursday at 10:00am so I will be out of comedy for about two weeks."

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Conclusion: In "Have Some Dignity!", Uncle Joey Diaz and Lee Syatt navigate a wide array of topics, blending personal anecdotes with sharp critiques of societal norms and industries. The episode balances humor with raw honesty, offering listeners an unfiltered glimpse into the hosts' perspectives on life, finance, health, and the entertainment world.

Transcript

[A]

Kick this mule. What's happened, you savages? Uncle Joey here and his trusted fucking maniac buddy Lee Syath for another installment of the Church of what's happening now? New addition. What's going on, Tarzan?

[B]

I'm doing great, dude.

[A]

Hold on. I forgot it's the 15th of July. The rent is almost due. Cocksuckers. You know what I'm saying? That's how quick shit is moving. It was just two weeks ago you were lighting fireworks, right? Three days ago you were jumping up and down with your uncle. Happy 4th. Look, it's the fucking 15th already.

[B]

It's great. But you pay the rent right as it's due. I always wait till the 5th. Like even today. I'd like the mortgage. I pay the mortgage ad, like as, like as late as I can.

[A]

The 11th. You pay the mortgage on the 11th.

[B]

I paid on the 14th. Mine isn't due to the 15th.

[A]

Oh, that's a nice one.

[B]

Well, it's due the 1st, but they give you like a grace period.

[A]

Oh, I'm Jewish too. I don't pay it to the last minute. Even if you have that money in the bank account, you don't pay it to the last minute. You want every last penny of interest.

[B]

No, I. I hate it. I always as late as I can and it makes me so happy, dog.

[A]

I like paying my bills on time.

[B]

I paid on time, but I don't. Why would I want to give it to him, right? I can't tell you how excited I am to get my. My apartment deposit back.

[A]

That's four grand.

[B]

Three. Oh, I'm going to be sitting there with donuts. Oh, it's a lot of a lot of things.

[A]

That's a lot of a lot of things.

[B]

Yeah, donuts.

[A]

And when's your last day there? The 30th.

[B]

In theory, yeah.

[A]

I'm going to be gone and you're probably 28.

[B]

The 20th.

[A]

The 20th.

[B]

Look at you, 37. I was 23 when this started.

[A]

23 when I met you. Now you're 37.

[B]

Yeah. Wild dude.

[A]

Corrupted them early.

[B]

Not even that early.

[A]

Doing all types of edibles and more sugar in the pills and the whole thing. How was your weekend?

[B]

My weekend was great. I went and saw Tara Filmer special.

[A]

How was that?

[B]

It was fantastic. It was a cool little theater on top of a dumpling place right next to Grace Papaya. George was very excited. I was on the train getting texted like every stop because it goes away.

[A]

And you didn't tell him the Cuban place?

[B]

I did. No, I did tell Him.

[A]

He don't care. He don't care. He was gonna eat that grape papaya. That poor little kid's hot dog. That poor little kids crying over his cat and George Adam.

[B]

Yeah, and that papaya juice. But no, it was. It's cool. I'm. I'm years away from ever shooting anything like that. But it was just cool to see, like, Tara do it. Because, like, when I met Tara, she was featuring for People, and now she was shooting a special. It was great to see. Chaz had no idea who I was, which is fantastic because I was sober.

[A]

You know, I said, hi.

[B]

It's, like, nice to see you again, Chaz. And he's like, ah, nice to see. He had no idea who I was. But that was really cool. And then I've just been packing this week. What about you?

[A]

Well, you know, the fucking ear. They got the stitches out. I had. All of us. I had 60 fucking stitches for that.

[B]

One thing that gave you 60 stitches?

[A]

I had no idea. I never asked. And then, like, I did the show with you guys last week. People actually really think I got a facelift. Like, I'm getting. I know I'm getting 10 messages a day on facelift. What doctor? I used some lady. They give you the other cream.

[B]

At least I thought it was a good one.

[A]

I didn't get no facial. I fucking got stitches from a. There was a boil. It was so deep that when they had to take out all the skin, they had to pull the skin back to cover the hole.

[B]

Right?

[A]

That's what the problem is. So. But Thursday was a real fucking adventure. Cause I went and I made a big mistake. I let my wife come with me. And my wife's chatty. So when we sat down at doctor's office, the girl came in. Then the main girl came in, and she's like, this ain't gonna bother you at all. Blah, blah, blah. We're gonna do that. We gotta suck a lipoma out of your fucking back. I go, okay. So she sets me up. I go, give me a cup of waters. When the doctor comes in, he starts talking to me. He keeps saying, yeah, we're gonna keep the stitches out. And my stomach started feeling woozy. I'm like, I'm not feeling good already. So I drink a little water. And all of a sudden she's like, we ready to start? And I go, yeah. And she's doing something for, like a minute. All of a sudden, I hear like, dun. Like, she cut the stitch, okay? And she goes, that's one down. And my Wife goes, how many did he get? And she goes, I think it was 60, all total. And just that thought, somebody gave me 60 fucking stitches. Whatever happened to three stitches or two stitches? Somebody gave me 60 fucking stitches.

[B]

And they have to pull out each one one by one, one by one.

[A]

Or they pull them and they pull the whole thing. Lee. It doesn't matter. I didn't feel it. This is the situ. This is the world I live in. This is why I say to people, it's always mental. It's not anything else. It's whatever you put your mind into it, you know, I didn't even feel it. And I fucking went down for like 10 minutes like that and put the fucking dog. They put an ice pack on my neck and one on my chest, and it melted within seconds. It just went. I didn't even feel it.

[B]

Did you pass out?

[A]

I didn't go all the way out, but I was like, I don't feel good. And the fucking thing that it's like when you tore in your ankle. I have a problem that whenever I turn my ankle or I hurt my finger, it goes right to my stomach like a shot. It feels like your stomach just gets like fucking a little, right? And right away I gotta shit and fart. So nevermind passing out, nevermind the stitches. I gotta lay upside down with a fart in my ass that's about to come out, and fucking. It's a vacuum in my ass. I'm upside down. You know what I'm working with.

[B]

And thank God it wasn't me there, because you would have let the fart go.

[A]

I'm surprised you didn't have fart. It's about the two fucking doctors in the room. They're women. I'll kill them with one of those fucking farts. I remember when I was about 400 fucking pounds, I went to a doctor one day in Los Angeles. This is my old Dr. Waxler. He's retired, and he had this Mexican assistant. I liked her too. And one day they put me on the table to check something, and then they both pulled me up. And when they pulled me up, you just heard this tremendous fart. Come on. It just came out. And at the end of the fart, everybody just looked at each other. Nobody made a move except me. I got up and blocked the door, right? Like, you know, to make it like.

[B]

You held them hostage.

[A]

Oh, I held them hostage with that fucking fart of death in the doctor's office.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[A]

So I don't ever want to do it again because I remember the look on their faces. There's no windows in the doctor's office.

[B]

No.

[A]

So they got to sit there and heal the whole fucking thing.

[B]

Is that why he retired?

[A]

No. No. Waxler's gonna retire no matter what. He retired after I gave him the pop cookie. He went down like Sarah Tianna.

[B]

You did not give your doctor a pop cookie.

[A]

Yes, I did. He was so paranoid. He would always tell me, leave it on my office. I would always come to his office and go, doc, I left you something. He was from Chicago. And I would leave him like a cookie or the things I used to give you and switch the labels.

[B]

Oh, the chiba Chus.

[A]

The chiba Chus. And I remember one time I get. Bro, one time I went down there and I lost a pot cookie like a month earlier. And I got down there at 8:30 for a blood test, and I opened the trunk and there's the pot cookie in the back of the trunk. And I'm like, God damn it. I haven't eaten nothing. So I ate the pot cookie. Next day he called me up. He's like, get back down here. Your fucking test was all fucked up yesterday. You pissed all green.

[B]

Oh, man.

[A]

He goes, what'd you do? I go, I ate the cookie in the parking lot. He was cool as shit with me.

[B]

How did you find. How did he ask for edibles?

[A]

Nah, we were talking one day and I just would. Every time I go there, I'd bring him a lollipop. He'd go, you gotta stop this. He would always say, you gotta stop. I'd bring him a lollipop or a pretzel.

[B]

You had to stop. But he didn't say no.

[A]

Those were fucking days of when me and Ralphie would go to a place next to Duke's. They had cakes and donuts and shit like that. So I would bring him stuff. Yeah, this with your coffee. But one night I brought him a cookie and I went to see him like a month later. And when he saw me in the hallway, he's like. And I knew I was in trouble. I'm like, what do I do? And when I went in there, he's like, motherfucker, I ate that cookie at lunchtime. I had to go home at 1:30. And he went, I passed out till midnight. And then I got up and he goes, I made Chicago hot beef. I had it in the bottom of my freezer with the buns and everything. Oh, wow. He goes, I started cooking that shit till about three in the morning. He goes, I made the whole thing of fucking that Italian beef. He goes, you, what was in that? I said, I don't know. So he's like, you bring me more. And I would bring him little cookies.

[B]

And do you buy edibles to give to people? To, like, with people? Yeah, yeah.

[A]

Sometimes they just give them to you. You know, like, remember in LA, people give you like 5 milligram? Oh, yeah. Candies. And what am I gonna do with 5 million candy?

[B]

Yeah, but you're not giving people 5 milligram candies.

[A]

I'm giving them whatever they give me.

[B]

Yeah, you give away the heavy duty stuff. That's amazing. I've never heard of one. Because usually people lie to their doctor. Like, they ask, do you drink? Oh, okay.

[A]

If you lie to your doctor, you're not gonna get nowhere.

[B]

I agree. But I also don't give them edibles.

[A]

I remember when I got surgery on my neck for the fat ball. When I told that doctor, he's like, so how much coke do you do? Once, twice a month? I go every day.

[B]

Holy shit.

[A]

He goes, how much every day? I go, either a gram or an eight ball. Doc, I'm on fire. And he just sat there and looked at me for eight minutes. He goes, just try to do it until the surgery, not to do it until the surgery.

[B]

Right.

[A]

I did it till the night before the fucking surgery. I went in there, coming down like fucking Tony Montana at 4, 7 in the morning. I think. I know. I think I. No, I think I did get high the night before the surgery because I got high every night. I had a monkey on my back. I wasn't gonna stop then. And when somebody tells you not to do it, that's when I do it.

[B]

Right.

[A]

When somebody says, you can't do it cause you're gonna die, Fuck it.

[B]

I'm surprised you even went to the doctor.

[A]

Huh?

[B]

I'm surprised you even went to the doctor. I know you had the fat ball.

[A]

Back then, but I had a wife, man. I got a girlfriend that would bust my ball.

[B]

Yeah, she would make you go to the doctor.

[A]

I would lie to her all the time. Yeah, I went. And then she would call me from work. I went on the credit card. There was no copay. There was nothing. You didn't go. You have to go tomorrow. You didn't go for your blood test?

[B]

Jesus.

[A]

Then she started taking me to the blood test.

[B]

Oh, to make sure you stayed.

[A]

Yeah. And then she realized why I left after about six months. She's like, you pass out all the time. She goes, I don't know how you Do I remember one time she took me to a dentist, and she was sitting reading the magazine, and all of a sudden they had, like, the red light go on, and she just got up. She goes, that's my husband. Lady goes, where are you going? She goes, that's my husband. She goes, how do you know? She goes, I'm telling you, that's my husband. They came and got her. And she knows exactly how to cool me off.

[B]

How?

[A]

She puts ice in my hands, okay. And then paper towels because my hands drip, sweaty drip when I'm getting a needle. You could tell when I'm about to get a needle because my hands get really fucking slippery and slimy.

[B]

What's more anxiety producing for you stand up at, like, a big theater like that. Or. A needle.

[A]

A needle.

[B]

Holy shit, that is. But you've gotten better. I'll give. I'll give you credit.

[A]

It took me fucking 18 years of acupuncture. We're going on 18 years of. I'm going on 18 years of sober from cocaine. I probably started acupuncture a year before I got clean. So the needles don't bother. When I go to acupuncture, I still jump in the air. Really Puts a fucking needle in my foot or something. I still jump. I still fucking. She puts one in my shoulder that's like. You can hear it going. Sometimes it bends. Sometimes the motherfucker bends. You know how many times she forgets to take needles out of my hair? And I'll be driving home and I'll scratch my head or something like, ow. And I got a fucking needle in my finger and shit.

[B]

Holy shit. Because you were just saying everything's mental. Why do you think you're still afraid of needles?

[A]

It's a 50. 50.

[B]

Okay?

[A]

It's a 50. 50. I went to the boxing gym today. I did eight rounds. I burned 620 calories. He trained me for, like, seven rounds. And then I did my own shit. But the rounds he trained me, I didn't have to take a break or pee nice. Right? I'm fine. When I have to walk up those stairs on the side, I think my world's gonna end. Not because the stairs are bad, because it's mental. I have these little mental fucking quirks, man.

[B]

That's crazy.

[A]

And we all have them. We just don't.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

We just don't realize we have mental quirks. What we do. Everybody has. And it all depends how I feel when I walk in. There's days I could walk in there, put my arm out and they could shoot me and I'll talk to the lady. And there's days like, I'm like, I don't know. This don't feel like that day at the hotel, the first day that didn't feel right. So everything was going to hurt. The first needle, the second needle, the third needle. The fuck everything fucking hurt because. But usually I could take. I was in the hospital for three weeks. There were days I was getting fucking 12 needles a day.

[B]

Oh, I can't even imagine.

[A]

I was, like, in training. Hit me here, hit me here, hit me here.

[B]

You did way better than. With that hospital stuff than I thought you would have. Like those three, just knowing you, if you had told me, how's Joey gonna respond to a week in a hospital once a month for three months? I mean, I'm sure you didn't like it, and I'm sure it was scary.

[A]

But, shit, nobody likes it. And you. You do it because with the pretense that you're gonna get better, right? You know you're gonna get better. Let me stay here. You know, I don't have. I don't want to put this on my family. If not, I'm at home in front of your family. Got to put them through this shit. You have insurance. You pay a lot for that fucking insurance. Pay these people, go to the hospital and get them taken care of. Because if not, you're gonna keep coming back, coming back, coming back now again, Lee, I didn't think that way when I was 25, right? I said, fuck it. If I die, I die. Big difference.

[B]

I was gonna say, if you were.

[A]

Big difference.

[B]

Imagine if you didn't have mercy right now, or even Terry.

[A]

I'd be a renegade, really. I wouldn't be here without the both of them.

[B]

What do you think would have happened.

[A]

If I would have kept doing drugs? I wouldn't have had any of them, so it wouldn't have mattered. But I'm just saying that after a while, you just go, I have to do this. Because it's that Pennzoil commercial. Either you pay me now or you pay me later. You're gonna end up here anyway. You're gonna end up here for 90 fucking days. And then they're gonna put you in a rehab for fucking 30 days. Cause that's what they love to do now. So take care of these six days. Cause as far as I'm concerned, six is better than 120, right?

[B]

Fuck yeah.

[A]

Six days in the hospital. Better than 120 fucking days in the hospital. So it's two different things. It's still gonna suck no matter what, right? But I'd rather do 6 than 120. And that's if nothing goes wrong, right?

[B]

You know, and there's always something. By the way, not to change the subject. You said those edibles were 100 each. There's no way those were 100 each. I'm already fucking feeling.

[A]

Who gives a fuck? It's Monday night, your girlfriend's out of country. We'll light you on fire. Tonight it's all over. Who gives a fuck? I was feeling warm and cozy myself.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

I don't know what they are. It says.

[B]

Where did you even get these things?

[A]

Fanny sent me a bag of these edibles that taste great. Okay, the 20 milligram grape ones, which. What am I gonna do with 20 milligrams?

[B]

Nothing.

[A]

I gotta eat 20 bags and then these. That said it was 20 pieces at 500 milligrams apiece.

[B]

You just told me it was 100 each 15 minutes ago. And now it's 500. Oh, you gave me 2,000.

[A]

No, it's not 500, stupid. Nobody even makes 500. No more. First of all, that tastes too good for me. 500.

[B]

Yeah, that's true.

[A]

Remember the chocolates we used to get? Those brownies? They tasted like.

[B]

What about those Moon bars? You love those Moon bars. And those things tasted. Look at me. I like chocolate. Those things tasted like asshole.

[A]

What Moon? I don't think.

[B]

Those little thin ones. You talked about them on Rogan. Like, they look like almost like Kit Kats. Almost. They were like long. They were strong as.

[A]

They were strong as.

[B]

It's amazing. You have so many rules about food that, like, you don't like this, you don't like that, you'll eat the worst tasting edibles out there.

[A]

Like when you eat broccoli, right? Like when you eat broccoli. I tell you, it's good for you. It's going to give you iron. It's going to help you with sunlight. That the thought of that, right? It's shit you don't see. When I give you an edible, it may taste like my asshole, but you're going to see something. You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying? Are you with me?

[B]

I guess.

[A]

Why eat a brownie with no fucking THC in it?

[B]

Because it's delicious.

[A]

No, it's not. It tastes like dick. Give me a brownie with THC and some almonds in that motherfucker, then we got something to talk about.

[B]

I'm surprised you haven't started, like, baking edibles.

[A]

Yeah, that's what I want to do with my fucking time, is sit there with a spatula and fucking be Mr. Edible. That's what I really want to do. My fucking time at 62. I'm going to take up a new hobby. You need a hobby. I'm going to make edibles and lose. To open up a business to lose money.

[B]

I'm not even talking about a business. I'm just talking about you making edibles to fuck with your friends.

[A]

Nobody trusts me no more.

[B]

They still eat your edibles.

[A]

I got to give them to people down by me, and that's rough. Nobody eats edibles down there.

[B]

Oh, my God. You're like the impractical jokers. Like, you can't trick anybody anymore.

[A]

No, I'm all out of jokes. That's it. They won't. Mozzarella fell for it. You know, I could still get a pigeon from time to time to give him one.

[B]

How excited do you get when you give someone an edible you know they can't handle? Look at the smile on his face.

[A]

I don't know if it excites me. I just want to see where you're going to go. I don't know what the big deal is. We've done worse things. Like, I, you know, listen when we eat 200 milligrams, even this could go to charge. George has done everything. So when he tells me I have to work tomorrow, he knows that that infuriates me. And if I have a chance to shoot him with 1,000 milligrams, like a dart or something, I would, because he can handle it. He's just a half a fag, right? Okay. He can handle it. And this ain't shit. I'll take you to the Bronx at three in the morning and give you two of these, and then you come back to me. That's torture when you don't know where you're going in the Bronx. We're having a good time here, okay? This is a controlled fucking high. Nothing bad could happen to you. Nobody's gonna hit you in the head. Nobody's gonna mug you. Nobody's gonna do nothing. So what's the big deal? Give me what you got. If I can't drive home, fuck it. You got a blanket, right? Right? You got a blanket, you got a dog? I'll just hold on to the dog. That's it. That's what you have a pet for when you do edibles, to hold on to them.

[B]

Holy shit.

[A]

Just Grab them and say, listen, I gotta. I gotta hold you. We're going into a deep cave here. Your dog's looking at you like, what fucking cave? You know, the cave.

[B]

But I don't think, like, do you even. Do you get to that level of fucked up anymore? Of, like, being scared?

[A]

Every once in a while I scare myself.

[B]

Jesus Christ.

[A]

And I love it. The first night I got the pain pills, like, I had them two nights. I didn't take them, okay? Because I was saving them for a specific night. And I popped, like, three of them. I was fucked up. I had three of them. A mushroom. Fucking hours fucked up. My wife was trying to talk to me. I was giggling. I kept eating. I ate Apple Jacks. I ate a bunch of shit that night. I gained, like, 8 pounds this last week.

[B]

Off of pain pills.

[A]

No edibles. The pain pills are gone, okay? I just saved the pain pills. They don't give you a lot, right? In New Jersey, if you get surgery, they'll give you, like. They'll say, take two to three pills a day for 10 days. That's 30 pills. They give you like, nine. And you're like, the math don't add up. So you don't. I didn't need the pain pills, but I need the. You always need to get a little high every once in a while on a pain pill. Just as a reminder, you go to a Yankee game, a nice Viking that never killed nobody. You know what I'm saying? You have to be walking a lot of bleachers. Your knee hurts anyway, right? You go up there, you drink a beer, you got a goober home. So that's what I did. I said, you know what? I only got, like, nine of them. I'm gonna take four of them from one shot. And I just inhaled four of them one night. But again, it's 20 milligrams.

[B]

What did you even save it for? Like, what was the big night?

[A]

Friday night? You know what I'm saying? I got shit to do and people to see.

[B]

Weren't you at a softball tournament?

[A]

No, I didn't go to a softball tournament, you fucking knucklehead. I was doing something. I went to a party or something, and I knew a party was gonna be boring, so I said this. You know, if I know a party's gonna be boring and I have to go for my daughter or my wife and tolerate it, I might as well eat edibles and do it my way. And I don't say a fucking word. I go to those things, and maybe there's One of the dads that'll talk to me for a little while, I'll talk to them. I always find somebody.

[B]

Yeah, but you don't look fucked up. That's like.

[A]

That's the secret, Lee.

[B]

Yeah, but how do you do that every. I look fucked. You've given me so many edibles that I look fucked up when I'm so old.

[A]

I call him every Tuesday morning, guys. You have to hear him on Tuesday morning. Yeah, you think he got raped by. At a Diddy party. You think you got raped. You think you got raped by fucking escorts and black dicks and I'll say, what's up, Lee? You know what's up. I don't know what you're talking about. I'm up. I'm out of the house. I drank water. I took a shit. George taught me that. You don't want an edible hangover. Drink 2 cups of coffee in the morning, Eat an apple. That first shit, you go in the shower. And in the shower you'll start. Your ears will deflog. You know when your plane starts to land and your ears go. That's when. Once you get in the shower. And after you take that first shit.

[B]

Why are your ears popping in the shower?

[A]

Because you were high last night. You're up in the fucking clouds. Once you hear your ears pop in the shower, you're brand new. Then you come out, you take an egg sandwich, and that's it.

[B]

But even when you take the edibles, like, your eyes don't get red. They don't get smaller. The only way people can tell your high is you start to whisper. That's the only way people can know that. Your eyes, you just start. You just start telling people secrets. And I don't know what, like everyone else? As soon as I take an edible, my eyes close. You don't. Nothing happens to you.

[A]

It's a poker face. But you can't just thc poker face. You know what I'm saying?

[B]

Oh, my God.

[A]

You gotta fucking keep it under control. If not, you'll be one of smoke some pot. Who gives a fuck? What are you, Cheech and Chong? You fuck, you smoke pot. You have to have some dignity.

[B]

I agree with you, but it's not something. It's not like I choose to look fucked up. I just get fucked up.

[A]

Who cares? You know what I'm saying? We get fucked up here. That's what we do. As a matter of fact, it's time for another edible. How's that feel?

[B]

What? How do you know? Did your watch go Off.

[A]

He said, just, you know, I'm saying, like a feel in the air that you need another.

[B]

I must be talking too much if I'm. If I need another edible. That's how you always know.

[A]

I got up in Cape May this weekend. Yeah, I went to Cape May for a softball tournament.

[B]

I told you.

[A]

Let me tell you something. Friday, Saturday and Sunday night. As a matter of fact, Saturday night, I had a fucking Heineken. Really? I got fucked up.

[B]

I love it.

[A]

One Heineken.

[B]

That's it.

[A]

And it was the coldest Heineken down the shore. And he gave me a fucking glass that broke. It was so cold when he gave it to me. Motherfucker shattered. Gave me another one. It just went. What did he put on the bar? Just went. I drank it in two sips. Yeah, it was delicious. Every meal I had in Cape May was fucking amazing. I went to the Mayflower Hotel. They took care of me like I was Johnny fucking Bananas in my family. We walked in there Friday night with like 19 people.

[B]

Damn.

[A]

And the dinner was fucking good. They had a nice steak. 8 ounce steak with a nice baked potato. And I had a. A cup of something that you wouldn't think I'd drink again. Asparagus. Cream of asparagus soup with crab meat in it. Delicious. You know how many asparaguses I've eaten in my life?

[B]

0.

[A]

0. I hate those fucking disgusting spears. I hate cream. I hate broccoli. But cream of broccoli, done. Well, shit, dude.

[B]

That's what you have to do online is the soup reviews. There's no one in the. I think they have no. Because that's what they fuck along with the review person who has soups.

[A]

Nobody makes soups. Everyone had Campbell. I'm gonna go bring them back to.

[B]

No, you go to a restaurant, you're not gonna.

[A]

I went to shop right for fucking soup today. They haven't put a piece of salt in that soup in 20 years. I took two stacks of. They didn't put salt in here. Chicken, rice, no fucking salt. Tons of chicken, tons of celery, tons of this, tons of that. They forgot to go, oh, put some salt in that. Nobody makes a fucking sensational soup anymore. It takes, like, it has to be something like a small family restaurant, not a chain. It's gotta be a small family restaurant. The Brass Rail in Matawan is the closest that. If I had to give a review for. For soups, I'd go with them.

[B]

When you're trying to get a good soup, like, what's a Good soup to you.

[A]

Listen, anybody can make New England clam. Anybody can make onion soup, that fucking French onion. Anybody can make lobster bisque. And any idiot can make New England clam chowder and Manhattan. Okay, give me something different.

[B]

So that doesn't impress you, those, like, standards.

[A]

If you listen, Cousins makes a Manhattan clam chowder that fumes will come out of your ass. Oh, it's so fucking good. But they also make an exceptional lobster bisque. And then New England is second to nobody. Cousins in New Brunswick, Marlboro, and now Bricktown. Phenomenal. But those are the three soups they made. Fucking Cafe Luna has Nana pasta fazu with pastina in it. You want to come? You want to talk to me about soups? Like that's a soup.

[B]

What do they do?

[A]

Fucking pasta fazu with fucking pastina in it. That's something different. My man and me and George, we're cream of turkey motherfuckers. You know what I'm saying? But our standards have lowered because when we go for cream of Turkey now, it's all out of a camp. Nobody's really giving you cream of turkey from scratch. They don't. If you know it's cream, you know it's from scratch if it has something additional in there. Like, we used to go to a place, our in laws used to make turkey gorgonzola soup. Like a cream of Turkey gorgonzola. That's how you know. But when you get a cream of turkey that dine, it comes out of a fucking can. They got it from Campbell's cousin, you know what I'm saying? So it's not gonna really. I like. Like, there's a restaurant, the Brass Rail, makes all those broccolis, all those soups. Great. They make a fucking red pepper soup. A cream of red pepper.

[B]

Never even heard of that.

[A]

Fuck. Exactly. Make me a soup that I don't know about.

[B]

And do you like creamy or like chicken kind of soups Better.

[A]

Like all that shit, dog. There's the Mall of America.

[B]

Yeah. Oh, yeah.

[A]

When you do the Mall of America, they put you in that hotel. Yeah, Upstairs in the Mall of America, they have a soup at that fucking mall. Only in the winter, it's got everything in it, like beef barley. They put like beef barley, beef stew. It could be a million degrees under. And you go, you drink that soup and you warm up. It's just comfort soup. I like that stuff, but not. You can't have it when it's 90 degrees out.

[B]

I know, but it's been 100 degrees here for like a month and you're still eating soup?

[A]

Yeah, I don't have soup.

[B]

Is. Is that a Spanish thing? And I'm being.

[A]

Cause Spain. Yeah, Spain. So my mother made a lot of soups because of my father. When my father died, she kept making those soups and I fucking loved the shit out of them. Because Cubans have a things to say that means real bad motherfuckers don't drink soup. But I said, fuck that. I'm a bad motherfucker, but I need my soup.

[B]

That's a Cuban saying.

[A]

Yeah. Lo wopono tomas sopa.

[B]

Why don't Cubans like soup?

[A]

Listen, it's just an old fucking Latino shit. I don't know. The fuck is wrong with you?

[B]

I have no idea.

[A]

Like that. A nice creamy turkey soup. See, that's very nice. With some carrots. That's how you could tell. It doesn't come in a can. But you go to a diner, you get high, I'll smoke some wee wee, and I'll take you to that diner on Wednesday. We'll put some fucking. Some crackers in that motherfucker. You won't know the difference.

[B]

Oh, my God, that's my favorite part about you. With soup and iced tea. With soup and iced tea with ic. You take the sweet and lows with soup, you'll grab like 18 of those cracker bags and you like. You put. There's more crackers in your soup than soup. It's. And, dude, that's, I think, the happiest that I've that I ever see you.

[A]

Well, I'm making a soup, a soup.

[B]

And an iced tea. And you are thrilled.

[A]

Salmon with mashed potatoes and spinach with pieces of garlic in it. That's my second favorite fucking meal now. It used to be chicken cutlers with mashed potatoes. But nobody ain't making good chicken cutlers except for my man George here. Everybody leaves the vein in the middle. Oh, no, I can't do that no more. I can't even eat chicken parm no more. Cause I always get that little tender. The other day I got sushi and it had that, and I wanted to fucking hang myself.

[B]

Oh, gross.

[A]

Yeah, white tuna. I'm like, I'm. You know, Jersey and California, the sushi is two different fucking worlds. I'm sorry, I'm done.

[B]

You know what I did for the first time. And I know you're gonna make fun of me.

[A]

Lick my asshole.

[B]

I don't think you make fun of me. Thank you for that. I went to. It's Called Omakase, where, like, they just give you pieces of sushi. It was like the first time I ever did. It was fun. It was a good time.

[A]

It was fun, yeah.

[B]

You've never done it?

[A]

No, I don't want to eat nothing. I don't know. Don't give me nothing.

[B]

They tell you what it is?

[A]

Yeah, there. But I can't tell them before they bring it. They're going to say, I don't want to be surprised. Is it Halloween? I want to be surprised. Then they'll bring you all the shit. You don't want to eat the shit. Just give me what I want to eat. Okay, I'll pay you. Just give me what I want to eat. I don't want no surprises. I don't want the chef special. I don't want none of that shit. Because then they come out with lamb. Look. What? The chef's special. Listen, I don't eat lamb. We'll taste it. It's now I got a taste in blood for two weeks. Go away like that.

[B]

Because I don't want.

[A]

Just give me the same I asked for. I don't want nothing else. But you always put yourself in these predicaments.

[B]

It was good. I was really happy to do it. I had sake for the first time.

[A]

38 years old sake for the first time.

[B]

I had it once more. I didn't like it, but this was a good one.

[A]

What was in this one, honey?

[B]

No, it was just. It was a good quality. I don't know.

[A]

Good quality. You only had sake one time.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

How was this a good quality? What did you say?

[B]

No, this one. I don't know anything about it. I'm just saying this one tasted good.

[A]

Leave me alone.

[B]

I knew you were gonna say shit.

[A]

Yeah, because, by the way, you always gotta. You've always tried to make sushi. Like, dude, you hear that shit?

[B]

What am I. You.

[A]

You.

[B]

You. You refused to go to sushi with me because I was too boring. Now I'm trying new things, and you get.

[A]

I.

[B]

There's no winning with you. We went like one of the. Like a year or two before we left la, the place that he likes for sushi, Sushi Dan. We went. I like two things. I like tuna and I like shrimp. And I get, like, a few different varieties of that. Halfway through the meal, you just look and be like, no more sushi. You're like, you're worse than my wife.

[A]

You're boring. You know, he gets those shrimps. That's what he gets.

[B]

No, no, I do.

[A]

No no, no, he doesn't even get the shrimp.

[B]

I do.

[A]

Do.

[B]

I love shrimp. Don't tell me. I'm looking at me.

[A]

I get a skinny Katina shrimp and two pieces of tuna. He don't eat no spider roll. He don't. Couldn't do anything else. He's like. He's like, if you go to eat sushi in Iowa, that's him. That's Lee.

[B]

So I try something new. I get king salmon, which was really good. I didn't like the scallops, but there was a couple different. I tried that. Like the orange, like the uni. Whatever it is. It's like custardy. It was pretty fun.

[A]

Custody.

[B]

Yeah, it's. It's weird.

[A]

Yeah. No, just. Hey, no, leave me the.

[B]

No, not the orange balls. It was like an awe. It looked like ice cream.

[A]

Yeah, you're eating like an eagle eye. You don't even know what the fuck you're eating. Yeah, that. That lady from North Bergen that ran over everybody. You're eating one of her eyes is shit. Oh, the is wrong with you?

[B]

Someone ran over somebody?

[A]

I don't know. Something happened in North Bergen. Some lady ran over seven protesters or something.

[B]

Jesus Christ. You know what? Let's just fuck with me today. I'll tell you something else I did, which I've never done. Do you ever get pedicures?

[A]

Leave me alone. Jesus Christ, Lee.

[B]

You don't like it? I did. I've never done it. My. You told me.

[A]

By yourself or did your girlfriend walk?

[B]

No, no, no.

[A]

You gotta. You gotta start getting it together.

[B]

What's wrong? You told me I had the Auschwitz toe because it cut a hole.

[A]

Yeah. We're gonna have to have a talk after the podcast. This ain't working out. It's not gonna work out for you, Lee.

[B]

What's wrong?

[A]

It's constantly with you lately. Constant pedicures, manicures.

[B]

Not a manicure. Sushi.

[A]

That tastes like shit.

[B]

It was good.

[A]

It was good. Okay, I'm not gonna. I don't even wanna talk about it no more. You just killed me. You know what I'm saying?

[B]

But my feet are fucked up.

[A]

Yeah, so am I. So am I. Your feet are gonna. Listen. A plastic surgeon needs your feet, not some little Asian chick that weighs 40 pounds drilling on your toes. That's why I don't go for a pedicure. They tell me all the time, bring the toe. I go, I got a fucked up toe. If I bring this toe in there. Those chicks are 90 pounds apiece. They can't chisel they got a chisel and shit. Are you fucking crazy?

[B]

I don't have the fungi toe. I just have the outside.

[A]

You got everything else. You got a toe that's like me.

[B]

I do.

[A]

You need plastic surgery. You got a foot that looks like it stepped on Hitler's head. Like if they would have used your foot to kill Hitler, it would have been fine.

[B]

I wish I was there. But I was. It feels good. Like. I don't know.

[A]

You're in New York City.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And you're getting pedicures and shit.

[B]

Not all the time.

[A]

It was one long talk. Eating sushi out of. I like Castle.

[B]

I didn't go to. I said I wanted to go to White Castle.

[A]

This.

[B]

I didn't go to. Papaya.

[A]

It's fucking. This guy makes the best hot dogs on the Monday night he got him. I didn't. I know. And you let him?

[B]

I was on the train. How am I going to stop him from getting Grace Papaya.

[A]

North Bergen. New York City Barbecue. Harlem. Fried chickens. Three doors up and the Cuban place. And this guy goes for hot dogs. He makes the best hot dogs possible on Monday here. I don't know anymore. I just don't know anymore. Guys. I just gotta go home and just. They just gotta put me on island soon because I can't figure it out no more. I cannot figure it out.

[B]

What is there to figure out? Why does other people like how other people eat? Eat or do what we make?

[A]

Those two men's hot dogs on Monday with jalapeno are the best fucking thing.

[B]

I agree with you.

[A]

He goes over there and gets a fucking dog. That is the worst thing you could ever eat.

[B]

I have to be.

[A]

Understand me?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So it's like you can't even pay attention no more. Like I just. I feel bad. It's like a retarded child. Like today I went down his block and I saw all the goofy restaurants he tells me about on a nightly basis. The chocolate place I saw today with the $10 milkshake the other day. He's giving me an ear beating about a $10 milkshake. Listen. No, it's you. I don't want to make a $10 milkshake. Listen. I go for a $10 milkshake because I know it's going to be that good.

[B]

I hope so.

[A]

I give you $10 for a milkshake. I better taste the cummin there. Like from your mother's pussy. I want to taste everything in there. I don't want no chocolate. I want cocoa. You know what I'M saying I want C O, C O. A cacao, whatever the fuck, you know what I'm saying? Yeah, yeah, yeah, cacao, yeah, but he has all these places that you shouldn't even be walking by. Muslim, this, Turkish, this. Viva Mexico. I saw all those places. That's an old gas station.

[B]

But you can't eat.

[A]

Viva Margarita. And you idiots are in there. That's. Salud. Whatever. Fucking retarded. I saw all those restaurants, I'm like, this is not good up here. You could fall into debt up on Anderson Avenue now. And at the end of the day, that is Rudy's is probably the last white food in fucking Cliffside Park. I was in shock today, you know, he was telling me it's a chocolate bag. Oh, it could be good. I thought about the chocolate place in Baltimore. Okay, those shakes were 10 bucks. But they gave you a chocolate straw. A chocolate fucking straw. After you drink the shake, you eat the straw like a doctor. You got it all over your teeth. That's a $10 shake. You don't know George.

[B]

Dude, milkshakes are like $10 a shoe.

[A]

When they charge 10, it's fucking solid. But then he tells me they're run by Turkish people. They don't know nothing about milkshakes. So I ain't going in there. They got like a recipe from Louis the Eye, you know what I'm saying? Like, they're all like fucking third world nation people. You got another restaurant up there the other day I just saw about a. Some other fucking bab. Two crazy ass restaurants next to each other countries never even heard of. Like, countries you never even heard of. Like by the by, macagna before you make the left on mechagna. Right there. Yeah, there's something from. Fuck, I would need that shit. You probably eat that and they'll give you a leaf of cocoa by mistake. You fucking die in there. Some fuck. I mean, he's got it. It's insane.

[B]

So what kind of restaurants do you want to see? There's only so many Italian restaurants you can have.

[A]

I didn't say that. Did I say I don't want to eat a fucking Italian every day?

[B]

So what else can you eat? What's allowed if Colombian.

[A]

What. Whatever happened to a nice steak?

[B]

Okay, so it's two kinds of places.

[A]

Whatever happened to nice? Cuban up the corner there. Whatever happened to nice? You got great Chinese up here. Those places you see with the fogged up glass and shit in Jersey. They're fucking good, okay? They're good. It's not like California where you see the fucking Chinese guy? He's got like a hippie haircut. No, these motherfuckers are good. The one on Park Avenue where you took me that time. Tremendous pork fried rice. I don't know about the spare ribs and shit like that, but they're fucking good.

[B]

But like where? So where does the line get drawn?

[A]

You know where the line gets dropped?

[B]

No, but the line gets drawn differently every fucking day. You make up new rules. You make up new rules during the game.

[A]

This is common sense.

[B]

Common sense rules.

[A]

This is common sense. You eat the best hot dog in the world. I mean, it's just common fucking sense, you know? I don't know how many times we've had the conversation about food and food and food, and we all go back to the same thing, you know, by my house. It's great. It's great for what they have. Until you come up to Hudson county and then that shit changes. And then we get on a tunnel or a bridge and we go over there and get fine dining with all the bullshit people drinking martinis or whatever. But at the end of the day, where does a motherfucker get the best bang for his buck in Hudson County, New Jersey. And that goes for pizza, that goes for Chinese, that goes for Spanish, Cuban, Puerto Rican, even Colombian. That's right here in Hudson county, okay? Everything else, I don't know what the fuck you're talking about. Now, again, Cliffside isn't Hudson county, right? So why Bergen County? But still, it's on the same neighborhood as us. They should all have the same dignity. You know what I'm saying? There's a word called fucking dignity. Okay? So that's what's going on right now. That neighborhood, Fairview and Cliffside, is very third world nation. Whatever, Turkish, Arab, whatever. I got nothing against those people. But you're not gonna make me a fucking Philly cheesesteak. I can't do it. Stick to what? You know, hummus, papaya shit, you know? Okay, so fucking coconut milk.

[B]

You don't mind the restaurants. You just don't want other. You want people that like jail. You stick to your race.

[A]

I don't know what they're doing to cook my food right. When I walk into a Carvel in California, I was very excited about the Carvel. Very excited. I went to the grand opening. I was one of the first people there because I'm 400 fucking pounds. That's what people who are £400 do. Cavio. Silence. That's Chango, the God of fucking thunder. To correct Me.

[B]

So Carville.

[A]

I walked in there, they wanted $5 for the cone, I paid it. Everything was hunky dory until it's three Chinese people. Now, I have nothing against Chinese people, but what do they know about Carvel? Now again, Joey, you're being racist. No, I'm not. There's a Carvel by my house on the 33. It's a drive through Carvel. It's run by Chinese people. They've owned it for 30 fucking years. You go in there, you tell that motherfucking Chinese dude, make you a shake thin. And he knows how to make you a shake thin. Whatever you. That's the place I used to go and get the thin chocolate shake with the double cone. Vanilla ice cream, vanilla chocolate with colored sprinkles and whipped cream. And I would dip it in there. That's when you're a 400 pound fat fuck. That's a good Carvel. But it wasn't an investment for him, right? It was something that they liked. He had kids. All the kids worked there. I've seen him grow. The girl is beautiful. Now the fucking father's yoked.

[B]

It's the same thing.

[A]

Another one on the 520 that's Chinese owned. They don't know what they're doing. That's an investment. The lady on the 5 16, she owns it since Jesus left Chicago. That's a drive through. So she only works in the daytime. So if you want it done right, you got to go in the daytime. Because if you go at night, it's kids with acne and pimples and they're on their phone and you can see like a cherry floating in the pineapple. That's when we leave. As soon as I see a cherry in the pineapple, we got to go. You go to Carvel, you can't even get hard ice cream anymore. Carvel used to be hard ice cream Ville. Now you go. It's like your grandmother's refrigerator. You ever eat ice cream out of Granny's refrigerator? Always had that core of air on it because they leave the top off and you're supposed to eat it and tell her it tastes good. Meanwhile, it tastes like lasagna, garlic ravioli. You're like, oh, yeah, this tastes great. I don't want to eat. My ice cream's got to be tight up in the top, right?

[B]

Dude, you just rattled off, like, the schedules of three different. Do you know, like, all the Carvels in this state?

[A]

I got it. I got. That's what I do. I'm A fat fuck. I'm stupid. I don't know much. And this is what interests me. I have no other interest. If you're gonna talk to me about politics or Elon Musk. I don't give a fuck. I don't give a fuck about SpaceX. I don't give a fuck about none of that shit. Okay?

[B]

What do you give a fuck about?

[A]

I give a fuck about a nice piece of good food, not getting tortured, and that's it. But if I go into a place, I could tell if it's an investment, especially if it's a chain restaurant, you could tell that these people, this is what they grew up on and they believe in that product or if it's a fucking investment.

[B]

And ice cream is a weird one because, like, it like you, there's a lot of, like, happy memories associated with Carvel for you. It's not like it's like a sandwich place.

[A]

Happy memory.

[B]

You're the one up your assume rules for Carvell.

[A]

I don't know. Happy memories of ice cream. I just. I get stoned. I like eating it. Associates a lot of happiness with the fucking.

[B]

Yeah, you think so?

[A]

No, you depressing me now. You sound like a white person. I am white. Anyway, let's take a breather. Now. We're going to talk to you about this weekend and DraftKings. What's happening? Beautiful people. Uncle Joey here. UFC 318 is the last time you're going to see Dustin Diamond Poirier step into the octagon. Let me tell you something, I'm excited already. The easiest way to get in on the action and win real cash is to download the Big Six app from DraftKings. That's right, I said it. Big Six app. It's the official daily fantasy partner of the UFC. Put that in your pipe and smoke it and it's very easy to play. You ready? Just pick more or less on the stats of two or more of your favorite fights. Get ready to turn that hot take into a payday. Now download the DraftKings Pick Six app right now and press in code Joey J O E Y. That's code Joey J O E Y for all new customers. To get a special offer, ride the upside, where a few bucks can turn into a bag jack. Only on DraftKings pick six, where, as usual, the crown is yours.

[B]

Gambling problem.

[A]

Call 1-800- GAMBLER help is available for problem gambling. Call 888-789-7777 or visit ccpg.org must be 18 and over. Age and eligibility restrictions vary by jurisdiction. Pick six not available everywhere, including New York and Ontario. Void we're prohibited for additional terms or responsible gaming resources. See pick6.draftkings.com promos we're back, you savages. How was the bathroom? Okay. You missed my DraftKings ad.

[B]

Oh, I heard it was good.

[A]

It's always good. Anyway, I want to talk to you guys about something that's been going on for a few months that you guys caught onto it. I went on a few podcasts and I got some heat for it. Every time I said it. When I went on Rogan, I got heat for it. When I went on Bert Kreischer, I got heat for it. And I went on somebody else's podcast and I spoke about it. And you guys, as usual, you know everything. So you make your stupid fucking comments or whatever, you know, because everybody's a fucking authority all of a sudden. So, you know, I told you motherfuckers not to worry about Epstein or worry about Diddy. I told you motherfuckers repeatedly for years we lived in California, guys. Now, I'm not going to blame California for this. I'm going to blame a city called Hollywood. I'm going to blame a city called entitlement. I'm going to call a city white Entitlement. I'm going to call it, you know, just the worst shit that could happen in any city that I've seen is in Los Angeles, AKA that Hollywood scene. I shouldn't even say Hollywood. Hollywood's a great little fucking town, but there's a certain mindset in that town that all you fucking idiots on TV and everybody thinks they know about. Listen, I like getting my dicks up. I like coming on your tits by mistake. It goes into your eyeball. I get a giggle. You know, if I have to, I'll come on your feet. I'm not an anal guy. We're talking family here, okay? You know, I'm not gonna give it to you up the. Me giving it to you up the ass is not my big man thing. I was just a regular guy, okay? I got accused of a lot of shit online. People said this, oh, he's scared of Diddy. His name is on the Diddy list. The level of sex and stupidity in Hollywood is one that you'll never understand. I sit here every week for 14 years with Lee, and I've mentioned to you that the people that you people idolize and think are great, they're the biggest pieces of shit. And your family, your parents didn't raise you to Know that to read that in people, you just fall for. He was great and fast and furious. You know, you fall for that shit, you know, and people, you become fans or whatever of these people that, A, don't know you exist, B, they wouldn't talk to you if they did. And three, they're just horrible people, you know? I mean, I've never snatched cum out of a girl's pussy to rub on my nipples.

[B]

Who did that?

[A]

If somebody comes on her should. Did he? Right.

[B]

Damn, I didn't hear that one.

[A]

Celebrities, whatever, escorts would come at her and she would make her run into the room and he'd take the cum out of her pussy and rub it on your nipples. If you don't understand that, that is a complete different level of fucking disgust. Like, even disgust that I wouldn't think of when I'm coked up. When you think of disgusting fucking things, right? Because when you're doing drugs with a girl, you're thinking disgusting fucking things. And I've never thought about taking cum out of a girl's pussy and rubbing on my nipple to fucking come, okay?

[B]

Especially when it's not yours.

[A]

No. So my point is that the level of sexual deviancy, I mean, if you guys didn't learn anything, you guys didn't learn anything from Harvey Weinstein because you focused on Harvey. You didn't focus on what was actually fucking happening. That a guy is making fucking Hollywood stars suck his dick for movie roles. This has been going. Now you guys act like this never happened before. This happens in day. This happens daily at jobs in New York City. This happens. You know, if you're an immigrant, those chicks and you come over and you want a job, you're going to have to suck a dick or two or some white, fat, fucking ugly dude with red hair or something, you know, that's the way it's been. I didn't write the fucking rules. I didn't write the rules. But the sexual indiscrepancies in Hollywood had always been disgusting.

[B]

How long did it take you to hear about stuff like that when you joined?

[A]

I heard about it. Maybe 20, 10, 15, who knows? It's like everything else in my life, it goes in one ear and it goes in one ear and it goes out the other. Because at the end of the day, it's got nothing to do with me.

[B]

Right? But I just meant like more like, when do you start hearing rumors of like, oh, this executive did this.

[A]

I spent for years about shit, underage, fucking. I heard rumors for years. Fuck, I heard rumors for Years, okay? And after a while, where there's smoke, there's fire. But I'm so busy trying to be a good comic that I'm not worried about that shit. I'm too busy trying to be a husband and a father and trying to fucking take care of myself. I didn't worry about that shit. That had nothing to do with me. We had a mutual friend that was involved in thousands of things that we didn't know about, that I didn't know about till we moved back here. And then I found out hours of material that were like, I was blown the fuck away. You know, People have weird lives out there. And when I'm going to tell you podcast people, you podcast people that listen or whatever, there's lists of everything. But the problem why you'll never get those lists because they're influential people. You know, at Diddy's party, he had a bunch of fucking people in there doing it. And I don't know if you know anything about the judicial system, but then again, I don't know if you dumb motherfuckers know anything. That's called money. And money could do a lot of shit, okay? And when you have that much money, well, Jay Z. Jay Z's worth, what.

[B]

Billions, I would guess.

[A]

Even if he gives a half a billion away, you know what half a billion buys in this court system and all that shit. Are you guys even familiar with how this works? Whoops. Steve, Heather, lift. Yeah, but you're never gonna find out who's on it.

[B]

Doesn't that depress you at all?

[A]

No, it doesn't depress me. Number one, ain't none of your fucking business. And number two, what I've been saying since day one, how is it going to change your life? Do you get a raise from knowing who's on the list? No, you just want to know who's on the list. Oh, my God, I can't. It's like those idiots. I can't wait till Trump releases the Kennedy assassination. He got shot in the fucking head in the 60s. 1966. And you're getting excited. Or 63. I'm sorry. And you're getting excited. We've just gone to a different level of fucking stupidity that we actually think we deserve to know who's on the Epstein list. No, you don't. No, you don't. Because at the end of the day, it doesn't matter.

[B]

But these people might have important jobs.

[A]

And what would make a difference if you knew that the president of Disney was getting his dick sucked by a 10 year old girl. You're not going to go to Disney when you have a child with this chicken.

[B]

Not if he's working there.

[A]

Listen, man, we're all a bunch of hypocrites, all of us, deep down inside. Either you could be a fucking hypocrite, right? Or you could try to live your life the right way.

[B]

But what about like the other. What I was. What depresses me is like, yeah, I think you're 100% right. Like if you have a hundred million dollars and you donate it or whatever it is, the rules don't really apply.

[A]

That's the way it's been since day one. What makes you think it's gonna change now? What makes you think it's gonna change now?

[B]

Cause all the politicians go in saying they're going to change it.

[A]

We only got half of who was at the Diddy parties. And we only know four people. They picked that poor retard because who gives a fuck about him? The Prince of fucking London. Cause he's a retard as it is. He looks like fucking Herman Munster. They're all fucking retarded, that whole family. Look at the other one with Meghan Markle. He's a fucking dirtbag, you know? So what? You know that, guys, it's that what I've been telling you didn't matter at the end. This is all I was trying to say. At the end of the day, it's. Well, Joey's a sexual deviant. That's why he was on the list. Really? Like I fucking know Epstein. Like I've ever met fucking Diddy. Like I've ever even seen fucking Diddy. And even that. What are the chances of me going to his party? That's number one. And number two, what are the chances of one of those hot chicks actually sucking my dick and fucking rubbing it on Diddy's nipples? So you tell me. This is what I don't understand. This is why my argument is people. You're worrying about shit that's never gonna come your way. It's never gonna come your way. I'm angry about one thing. If I'm angry about anything. I'm angry that the CIA was involved in bringing cocaine in the 80s. They were all in on it. Yeah, I almost lost my life because of that shit. But our own government was bringing us in. Listen, am I upset? Am I going to go to Congress? You want me to run over poor white people in North Bergen who are politicking out there? It doesn't matter. I did the drugs. It's my fault. But think about it. When our country put us in the hairs, you know, you're finding out we knew 30 years ago that our own government shot Kennedy. Okay, we knew 30 years ago. You know, 30 years ago. All right, What's. What agency, Joey? I don't know, May. Give me a fucking. Give me initial. FBI, CIA, NBA, cba, bba. It could be anybody. It could have been the Cubans. But somewhere along the line, the United States were involved. Somewhere along the line we shot our own fucking president.

[B]

Is that what. Because I was making a fuss about it.

[A]

But if we did that, my mother died from the vaccine again. Why should they give you a good vaccine, right? If you're that stupid and Wayne got it eight times. What can I say to you? Obviously, you deserve to fucking die. Just tell. Listen, I won't get any vaccine now. Now they fuck me, I'll take my chances. I'll go get a natural vaccine like that. The shit you shoot in Macaco pneumonia. I'm not doing that. And I'm not doing the other one. The fucking. Where you pop up with red marks. Hives. They want you to do that. You shoot that, your arm can't move for a week. That ain't nothing good.

[B]

I have no idea which one you're talking about.

[A]

The one about the fucking. What is it, George? If you're over 55, you gotta take a shot. Shingles.

[B]

Oh, shit.

[A]

I ain't taking no shingles. Shot, my friend. Shot he couldn't raise. He couldn't fucking play Hitler. He was German. He had a jerk off with his left fucking hand.

[B]

That's really rough.

[A]

You're fucking crazy. I don't trust him no more. I don't trust him after the Xanax. Okay, Joey, you did the Xanax, I understand. But nobody told you just to do it for two weeks and then you had to move to a fucking real thing.

[B]

Well, like, I think it all boils down to money. Like, they have lobbyists who, like, make it so easy to get those pills. Who convince people that, you know, like all the. Like they put chemicals and everything. It's crazy. What. What's allowed, you know?

[A]

So I just. I was very happy when that shit went down last week and people were mad. Well, you know, if you're that stupid, I mean, Bill Gates and Tom Hanks are on the list. You're never gonna see that list. End the story. Move on with your life. Go care about Hamas. Go set up a restaurant in Hamas. Go. Go do something where you can make some Real money and not worry about the dumb shit that they're feeding you on a daily level on a daily basis. We get fed shit constantly.

[B]

Why do you think they feed us this shit?

[A]

Because they try to throw us off our game. To throw us off of what our goals are. To make us worry at night about our fucking credit cards. I was down Cape May this weekend, guys. There was nobody down there, okay? There was nobody down there, okay? I was gonna go to Ocean City, Maryland. The week before, I couldn't get a hotel because every hotel had rooms except on the 4th of July. Then Lisa Gallo told me, she goes, you should have seen it on the fifth was a ghost town. People ain't leaving for three days no more. Those hotels are fucking expensive down there. Fucking expensive for the American family. They're not. They said Saturday and Sunday was empty in Ocean City. It's not what. You know, we're not focused. When I look at things. Restaurants that I went to four years ago that you couldn't stand in, and now it's one level, and the seats aren't even packed every night. Concerts are not selling tickets like they were. Comics are not selling tickets like they were. A lot of things are down. But you're worried about the Epstein list. In 2032, there might not be Social Security for us, which you have to assume they won't be. When they say that, just figure that they won't. They won't. I'm going to cash out when I'm 65 because I was not going to even retire. But now, since they have no money, I might as well cash out when I'm 65 and make them pay my daughter for 23 years. Then they could end it in fucking. In whatever, four years later, whatever. At least I get my daughter three years at 2,000amonth or whatever the fuck that is. But this is what you should be thinking about. Your health, you know, your life, your family. Not right now. We're living in a fucking. People are pissed. People are confused. It's a horrible political climate. It's horrible, guys. And, you know, we could keep smiling and jumping up and down. I don't know what you're fucking jumping up and down about. And I'm a positive guy, but I see what I fucking see. And I look at all that shit. When I walk in a restaurant, I go, it's a Thursday night. This motherfucker used to be packed on Thursdays. You got three waiters in here on a Thursday night. There used to be 10 of them on a Thursday night.

[B]

And do you like, I know, you're like, do you think part of the reason stuff is down is because too many people are focused on shit? Like, do you think like, no, brother, pandemic.

[A]

People started using cards and the four year window ended, the three year window ended. Declines on credit cards are higher than ever. In restaurants right now, more people get declined every night than ever fucking before. That tells you the credit card system is almost fucking overrun too. There's so many things that you could be worrying about your kids, where they're going to do this, what am I going to do if they cancel Social Security at 62, at 1932, you know, whatever. 2032, that's eight years from now. That makes me 70. You know, can you imagine being 70 years old in this country and getting thrown out into the street? Half of all these old people getting thrown out into the street anyway. They don't have a way to live. You go into these old folks homes, you got to give me your fucking house, your pension, you gotta get married. It's a fucking. It's unreal what we focus on. And I've told people for years, yeah, I know you love your president and all this shit. I've never loved any fucking president. You know why? Cuz I've always had to get up to work every morning. I want the president that says no more work.

[B]

That's who you vote for.

[A]

Take a career. I want to be a bartender. All right, Go down to the Hudson River. There's a bar over there for you, something 20 hours a week. But you know what I'm saying, that's the right. Now we're killing ourselves to live and you're worried about who's on the fucking list. We got a fucking war going on that who knows when it's going to fucking end or. It's a ceasefire, bro. Any of those motherfuckers can start unloading any fucking day again, it's the Jews. You know them?

[B]

Yeah, of course.

[A]

They got a bad wind up their ass. Kaboom. Kaboom.

[B]

Holy it is. Because, like, look at Sam. Like, I like one of my favorite people, Sam. Tripoli. Like some of the stuff he they talk about seems nuts, but then like a lot of it's fucking coming true.

[A]

You have all money in your credit card?

[B]

A little bit, yeah.

[A]

You ever think about it at night? Remember when you got out of college and you own your loans at night?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And you think about your loans and if you think about how many credit cards you got and what you owe, you hug your Teddy bear really hard for a minute. You ever feel that? Feel your asshole when you go to bed and you owe a lot of money. You squeeze that teddy bear, but then you're like, I'm never going to get to pay this anyway. Like, in your lifetime as a person who's just been killed with debt all your life, you're like, what difference does it make? I might as well snort that gram of coke because it ain't gonna change nothing. My $60 to visa isn't gonna do dick anymore. That's a horrible way to think. That's a fucking horrible way to think. And that's what happens. You get controlled in your mind. I was telling my wife, my daughter, what breaks up a marriage, George?

[B]

Money.

[A]

I think there's two things, infidelity or money. That's fucking insane that two people who love each other would break up over fucking money.

[B]

Because I think it's what you said, it's stress. I can't imagine.

[A]

You can't fucking imagine. So when you think about your debt, like, I used to look at my child support, 88,000. And then I would look at my attorney bills, and I would look at them and go, I don't know how they're going to get paid in this lifetime.

[B]

And. But there are some people who aren't stressed about it, which is crazy.

[A]

That's what we are, stressed about it.

[B]

No, but some people aren't.

[A]

We stress about it for about eight minutes, okay? And then you go, you know, I put it in God's hands. I'll hit the lottery. That's always what you say, I'll hit the lottery. Because to get out of that debt, you need four chunks of money in, like a year. You need like 40 grand four times. You know, you just can't get 40 grand then wait three years to shoot another movie and get 60 grand. By the time you get to 60, you're gonna be debt and 40.

[B]

And that's interesting.

[A]

That's the thing about movies and shit in la, that I can never get ahead in the television world because it was few and far between.

[B]

And, like, you needed to be acting constantly.

[A]

Constantly. And even that, like in 2003, 2002, 3, 4, I was pretty much on fire and I still couldn't make a living. Yeah, 28,000, 31,000. That's great money from acting, especially. You're from North Bergen, you don't know how to act.

[B]

Right. What were you making comedy at the time?

[A]

35 maybe.

[B]

So that doubles your income. That really helps.

[A]

So the income the comedy would help the standup and the stand up would help the comedy, the acting, the acting, you know, back and forth. But it was not. Wasn't like, I think I had two good years in acting out of 23, that I could support a family.

[B]

Now, like, do you think back then if you had put less because you. You were mo. Mostly working on standup, if you had taken it and gone 50, 50 or even 75, 25 for acting, do you think you could have had a career in acting?

[A]

I didn't want it. Right. No, I. Yeah, I wanted a movie once a year to take me off the roof. Like a call agents and managers and club owners and go, ah, I got that movie. You mean you're canceling? Yeah, I got that movie. And I would tell them myself, fuck you in your week. This is what I'm bringing to the table, motherfucker. I remember that. You know, like I would always. So I used it as a deterrent. Oh, that buys me three more weeks. I'll cancel these two. Because it's actually three days of work. So that's like eighteen hundred dollars in the movie business. That's a lot more than I was making comedy wise that time.

[B]

Right. And it was.

[A]

Why would I want. I want you to remember this, okay? Acting is great, man. It's great to be on a set with a good actor or two good actors. You watch them, you learn a little bit, you eat some good food, you go to a party, maybe the movie shoots in Boston. All that's great about that, but you're still fucking limitations and you're still saying somebody else's words, you know? And for those three weeks of work, yeah, it was lucrative and it was great and I ate good food. But I'd much rather do Friday and Saturday and get it over with. I gotta be there for six weeks to make a living. I could do two weekends and I'm home, right? So I always loved the set. Look, listen, let me tell you something. I can only describe maybe two or three things that are better than walking on a studio lot.

[B]

Why is it so good?

[A]

It's just because I used to walk on Boulevard East. I used to run from the cops on Kennedy Boulevard. Now I'm walking onto a lot and I belong here and I'm headed somewhere. So I would always die for people to come up to me and go, excuse me, can I see your badge? That's right, bitch, look at my fucking badge. What? What? What?

[B]

He'd walk real slow, you know, because.

[A]

For the first time in my Life. I was supposed to be there. You know what I'm saying? When you're not supposed to be there, you're like. You know, you're walking around like Chinese people before Bruce Lee. But when you're gonna be there and you're supposed to be there, and you never expected to be there, and you're. Where I'm from, where movies were so fucking big, you know, I would walk on the lot and go, oh, shit. I would get a bounce right to me and shit. I would go right into the place and get something to eat, you know?

[B]

Did you have that when you were headlining clubs? Or is acting even, like. Was that feeling even better with acting?

[A]

I just. To walk on the lot is something to me that you cannot. Especially on a sunny day when the sun's out and they let you park.

[B]

On the lot and like a good.

[A]

Lot walking around and shit. And somebody comes, hey, you want to ride? Fuck, yeah. And you get in the back and they start talking to you. You're a comedian. Oh, I used to go to Comedy Store all the time. Then you go back there, you steal a shirt. I love all that shit. When I go on a lot, it's like whenever I went on a lot, I go, my friends are never going to believe this in Lover. They're never going to believe I saw this. I'm not even going to remember this in my memories. Because if I tell them, they're not going to believe me. Like, I'm walking on the fucking. What was. Who produced Bochko? Steve Bochko, when he produced nypd. Like, I would walk into the Steve Bochko building, like, what? NYPD Blue, bitches. I'm a felon. There's just something I don't know, and I don't know if it's like that for everybody. I would go eat right away. I would go on the fucking lot and eat and maybe go to the commissary. Cause the food is cheap in the commissary. So you go in there and get like a milkshake for two bucks or something like that.

[B]

And you, like, even now, because you've done a bunch of movies and TV on lots. And like, you still get that excited when you walk on.

[A]

Oh, yeah. It's just something about that. Listen, I know what day it's gonna be. It's gotta be perfect. Like, I'm gonna be in and out of there quick. Okay? There's gonna be good food. Like, people always send me to do these movies. I could tell by the script if I'm gonna have be eating cheeseburgers or I'm gonna be eating steak. Just by the way the movies was written, the script, I could tell. So I want to. You know, it's like I told my agent two months ago. I go, listen, man, I love working, but with the podcast and my daughter, I just don't want to do anything that might not work. I want. If I get up to work, I want people to see that movie. I don't want to do it for the money, and then nobody sees it. In fact, I got a movie coming out Friday, bitch.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

Guns up.

[B]

Where can they watch it?

[A]

I have no fucking idea, okay? It's not gonna get a theatrical release because the fucking Fantastic Four is coming out this week. So I don't. I don't see a Fantastic Four.

[B]

Kevin James.

[A]

Yeah. Me, Kevin James.

[B]

Oh, it's the new Kevin James movie.

[A]

Kevin James. Fuck it. Louis Guzman.

[B]

Oh, shit.

[A]

Gina Christy Richie. Christina Richie. My girl from fucking. That I did a scene, a couple scenes with. In that show on Showtime. Yeah, man, we shot that where Satriel's was. Did you know that? They knocked it down.

[B]

Oh, from the Sopranos.

[A]

Yeah. And that was the Irish bar right there. That's the Irish bar next to Satriel's.

[B]

Look up the release.

[A]

It was just some Irish.

[B]

It comes out Friday. Look, go to Fandango, Nick, please, and see.

[A]

Yeah, I got a movie coming out on Friday.

[B]

If it comes out in theaters, that'll be fucking cool.

[A]

I don't think it's coming out on theaters. I think it's just going to stream. I don't know if it's Netflix. I don't know nothing. This movie got shot by a bunch of good Irish people. I had a great. I had 12 days on it. We shot in Carney, New Jersey, right there. See who's in this movie. Pull it back. Kevin James. Christina Richie Lewis Guzman. But go, Timothy from the. There's a lot of good guys in here. Timothy Murphy's a good dude from Sons of Anarchy. The dude who played in the basketball movie. We liked the guy that played Kareem, the big tall guy. He's in this. I mean, I had a great time shooting it, you know, And I like this type of shit.

[B]

That's so cool.

[A]

Yeah, I like this. This always. It takes you away for fucking two or three weeks. I did this for a whole month.

[B]

When did you do this?

[A]

This shot the last month before the strike.

[B]

Wasn't the strike this year? Do you not tell? I. I like I knew you, but I don't remember like you being away for that long.

[A]

I shot it. It was in fucking Carney, New Jersey. It was 30 minutes from my house.

[B]

So I know you were. I, I know you.

[A]

Oh, yeah, it was two. It was July of 2023 because that fucking show came out and my daughter wanted to meet Louis Guzman. That fucking Adams family. The Adams family.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Am I on that list? No, I'm on the IMDb and if you look at the. Yeah, who the you think you're dealing with? What was my character's name?

[B]

Charlie Brooks.

[A]

Charlie Brooks.

[B]

You're the top cast. You're number four.

[A]

I don't around dog. They can't be with the Cuban, you know that. But that chick is in it. No. Oh, yes. Melissa Lee.

[B]

Oh, you love her.

[A]

I love her. She's the real deal. Holy, huh? Yeah, yeah. So I know. I wish she was referring me.

[B]

I know. Okay.

[A]

Yeah, they're gonna release it in the Ching Ching movies over at Harlem and on an 18th street.

[B]

Oh, I'd love to go see it there.

[A]

No, it's going to be this what's getting released Friday. Look at the heat that's getting released. It's the biggest weekend of the year.

[B]

I heard Superman's pretty good.

[A]

Okay, why don't you go eat it after you go to the sushi place?

[B]

First of all, that sushi place is really good. Second of all, I haven't seen Superman. But what else is coming out this week?

[A]

What else is coming out this week in theaters? You have a bunch of the Smurfs.

[B]

I know what he did last time. Oh, wow. That's like a 30 year old remake. Guns up is coming out. So we'll find it. Life after. What's the big one you thought was coming out? You said was coming out. Oh, Fantastic Four is coming out. But even that if I was gonna and I'm not if I was gonna go see a movie. Fantastic Four is like a remake of a remake.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I like Kevin. Like, I like you. Look, maybe it's just me, but I.

[A]

Love Kevin with a body double in this movie. I know you didn't know that.

[B]

Dude, did I tell the story on here about the people who thought. Okay, yeah. People say I'm Kevin James constantly. But he like, he like that's. I, I. Oh, I haven't told you this on here. Like I'm going to see Sandler and Albany in September and it's like Kevin James is like on that level with Sandler for me, like maybe a little bit. Not as high as Sandler, but like Kevin James, like that Comedy Central special where he talks about peeling an orange. Do that. Like, I. I would go see this instead of, like a Fantastic Four any day.

[A]

Okay, well, I'm happy, brother. I hope everybody feels like you. That's all I hope.

[B]

Yeah, hopefully it's a good.

[A]

You know, had a good time on that movie. I learned a few things. The director was very nice. The whole cast was Irish, so they were on me all day long about fucking. Told me about Cuba.

[B]

Really?

[A]

They were good people. Yeah, they were very sweet people. They bought the book. They were. I was signing books on there because all the Irish guys wanted to take the book back to Ireland with them. It was very nice. So if you get a chance to see Guns up, go do your thing. What do you got this weekend, Tarzan?

[B]

This. Today. This comes out. I'm at the Luxor Lounge. And the rest of the week I'm around New York and I'll. And other places coming up.

[A]

I have mouth surgery on Thursday at 10:00am so I will be out of comedy for about two weeks. But when we come back on, like, coming back the week, July 27th, and we're gonna start booking some local shows. And then Philadelphia sold out. And then we're getting ready for Florida.

[B]

That's gonna be great.

[A]

September 6th. My man's already looking at private planes for.

[B]

That's crazy.

[A]

We're gonna have to. You're gonna have to break into the computer system and rob one first. We have to just take off from Teterboro and get down there. So if anybody has a plane service out of Teterboro, I got six guys that need to fly from Teterboro September 5th, early in the morning to get to Fort Lauderdale by lunchtime. We could take a nap, smoke some dope, you know, go swimming. Then we don't have to do nothing Friday night. Just relax. You can hook up a milkshake. You can do whatever you want.

[B]

Jesus Christ.

[A]

Tell her you're playing the Hard Rock, you have tickets for her and a limo to pick her up. You know, I'm saying we got. We know people down there. And then. And then we'll be back. What's that? Which one?

[B]

Guns Up.

[A]

Oh, it's on Netflix. Oh, shit. There you go, cocksuckers. So watch it. Well, nobody's gonna watch it because again, fucking Sandler's coming out next week with. Yeah, I'm going to that screen. I'm going to the screening with my daughter.

[B]

Good morning.

[A]

Yeah, I got it. She's excited. Oh, they sent Me, the link today. I got to fill it out, see if we could go. But I'm going to take her. She likes all that stuff.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

She keeps asking me, what kind of my outfit am I going to wear? Look, let me tell you something about your fucking outfit. It's a casting crew. It's not a premiere. There's. Beyonce's not going to be there. There's no picture taken.

[B]

She's not going to make you even wear a tux or a suit.

[A]

No, I'm going with sweats. I want to be comfortable. It's a premiere. I don't want to be with a suit. All not about me. I don't give a fuck. I'm not in the movie. I'm just a spectator. I don't have to dress up for anything.

[B]

Okay?

[A]

I'm just a spectator.

[B]

Even if Mercy wanted to dress up, and I was like, I don't give a fuck.

[A]

She's 12. I'm the captain Kirk of the fucking Enterprise. I don't give a fuck what she wants to do. It's gonna be July 24th. It's gonna be fucking hot, Humid. I'm not gonna wear a suit and get in the car and your ass sweat for two hours. Have ass rashes, like, on my cheeks. And I asked my wife, why do I get these rashes? She goes, because you have leather seats in your car and your ass sweats on those long drives. Because I don't do anything. It's not like I. I usually get a rash when I don't dry myself. Like, if I just put underwear on and I don't dry my ass cheeks, I'm scratching for two fucking days like a cat. But if I dry everything, then I don't scratch, right? But for some reason, I've been scratching again at night. And I asked her, what's going on? And she goes, you had those leather seats. It's been hot lately. So how.

[B]

Why does your wife know about. How would she know what's going on.

[A]

With your 25 years? They look at you, they know that you got heat rashes, carrot rashes. You got a rational bad pussy. You know, you got a rational other things. So.

[B]

These things were a lot.

[A]

So what do you think of these edibles? You like them? All right. We'll have to get some on the podcast then.

[B]

Fantastic.

[A]

Called Dracula. Yeah, they were cherry.

[B]

They went to poly.

[A]

We'll lose that motherfucker for a few days. Next time you see Polly, you'll be on Englewood, over a cliff with a gun. Dd Mao. There they are. They think they're Vietnamese people. I love you, motherfucker. What's that?

[B]

Who's Paulie?

[A]

Don't worry about it, all right? Don't listen.

[B]

Oh, Paulie Shore.

[A]

Okay, Not Paulie Shore, you fuck. Polly. He's a Vietnam vetty man with a hammer. He works up and down. Oh, Polly.

[B]

How could I not have known about.

[A]

The metal, you know? Polly. And we always give him 200 milligrams. That poor bastard, he probably fucking digs a hole and goes in there with a fucking spare rib and yells at himself. These Vietnam vets, You can't trust these little slippery cocksuckers. Anyway, we love you people. Always, always here, fucking trying to put it together. Fuck Diddy. Fuck Epstein. Open up your own fucking island. You know what I'm saying? Get your dick sucked your way. Why are you worried about fucking Diddy and the other guy? You dumb motherfuckers. All right. I love you, cocksucker. Stay black. Have a great week. The cops are coming. We gotta take two steps to the rear and get out of here. Stay black. Later.