Joey Diaz' 2nd seventh grade teacher

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Church of What's Happening Now — The New Testament

Episode: Joey Diaz' 2nd seventh grade teacher
Host: Joey Coco Diaz
Guests: Mr. Barone (Joey's 7th grade teacher), Joe Barone (pharmacist), Lee Syatt
Date: February 17, 2026
Location: Live from NYC

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Overview

This episode is a nostalgic, side-splitting deep dive into Joey Diaz’s school days in North Bergen, New Jersey, featuring his legendary seventh grade teacher, Mr. Barone, and his son Joe (a pharmacist). The hosts swap wild stories of old-school teaching, neighborhood shenanigans, sports glory, life lessons, and the glory (and chaos) of growing up Jersey Italian in the ‘70s and ‘80s—with plenty of irreverent humor and heart. Through tall tales and sharp observations, they explore how education, community, and childhood have changed, and reminisce about the characters and events that shaped their lives.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Reminiscing About the ABA, NBA, and Sports

Timestamps: 00:45–11:38

• Joey and Mr. Barone talk about the "Soul Power" ABA documentary (Amazon Prime) and the evolution of professional basketball.
  • “The NBA was boring... show some white guy dribbling... then they show Allen Iverson fucking doing shakes... the ABA was not exciting. And that's when the NBA took it.” — Joey (01:22)
• Mr. Barone shares getting drafted by the ABA’s Miami Floridians.
  • Hilariously describes practice gear: “I open up the box, it's the Flintstones shirts. I said, is this a comedy?” (02:25)
  • Chose teaching over pro basketball due to better pay: “They gave me a contract. I said I'm making twice as much at a grammar school.” (02:54)
• Free-throw shooting excellence—Mr. Barone’s 97% record, 246 out of 250 makes, and pride in holding the high school record for decades.
  • “I had the record, which is 65. It's 50 years now... If I would have known about this, I would have made 300. Nobody will break it for 9 million.” —Mr. Barone (04:35; 05:10)
• Discussion about modern NBA players’ struggles from the line.
  • “He's standing on the beach, he would miss the ocean.” —Mr. Barone, on poor free throw shooters (05:46)

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2. Legendary New Jersey School Days

Timestamps: 11:38–41:18

• The wild, formative environment of North Bergen and Hoboken schools: gritty, chaotic, and full of colorful authority figures.
• Teacher-student dynamics and the lasting impact on students’ lives.
  • “I taught 49 years, but I made a mistake. I wanted to stay for 50 years.” —Mr. Barone (08:56)
  • Regret over early retirement after a paperwork mix-up.
• Comparison of old-school teachers ("dusty," tough, but bonded to students) vs. today’s younger, less personally involved teachers.
  • “That was more than your parents saw you... they became a part of your fabric.” —Joey, on teachers' role (14:31)
• Changes in parenting and childhood social bonds; past generations were “in it together,” forging deep emotional connections.
  • “You brought your problems to them… They got you through a lot of shit.” —Joe Barone (17:38)
• Surreal childhood stories: from class discipline to teachers as neighborhood legends.
  • “He had 160 kids. We couldn't fit in the big theater.” —Mr. Barone on running in-school suspension (12:43)
  • “I was a comedian. And it works. The kids knew. You knew I liked you when you were in my class.” (13:03)

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3. The Wild Characters of Jersey: Teachers, Gangsters, and Eccentrics

Timestamps: 24:29–66:51

• Stories about infamous local figures like Turk Jordan, Wally Lindsay, Lincoln Tunnel basketball courts, and mayors who doubled as teachers or (sometimes) criminals.
  • “He was the original Epstein. This motherfucker was like, girl, guys, she's in the backseat waiting for you... We gotta go home and do homework.” —Joey (28:05)
• Hilarious, wild, sometimes questionable “field trips” led by teachers—sneaking into games, adventures without tickets, and raucous bus rides.
  • “Teachers would take us to basketball games with no tickets... He told him to meet us at a bar by the Garden again, Joe Barone. We’re in the eighth grade.” —Joey (32:01)
• The “underworld” of local business: bookies fronting as fruit vendors, hot dog stands as bookmaking operations, and neighborhoods where nearly every adult was running a side hustle.
  • "He was in the basement with three phones." —On his father’s fruit/bookie business (45:55)
• Corruption and politics: jokes about senators, the "Gold Bar" scandal, and the blurred line between politicians, teachers, and hustlers.
  • “How does a guy like that... have 10 gold bars in his closet?... his son with the same name run and win? Where are these people looking at?” —Mr. Barone (22:21)
• Vivid depictions of Italian-Jersey culture, family, sports, and survival.

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4. Generational Change: Schools, Parenting, and Community

Timestamps: 14:31–22:03; 34:26–41:18; 59:22–63:27

• Critique of the modern educational system and changes in student-teacher relationships.
  • “These teachers aren't pushing through that barrier… Your generation of teachers… made you do oral book reports. You make a kid do an oral book report today, he'll fucking die.” —Joey (15:03)
  • “We didn't go home and tell everything to our parents.” —Joey (58:28)
• Parents’ trust in schools, the independence kids enjoyed (sometimes to a fault), and the difference in how discipline was handled.
• The perspective that adversity and chaos bred resilience and camaraderie.

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5. Memorable Anecdotes and Outrageous Moments

Throughout episode

• Mr. Barone’s dual-sport (and ambidextrous) talents, like hitting three homers in a championship softball game and outshooting kids at basketball lefty (07:16).
• “Hazings” and pranks: teachers making kids hold hands as punishment, shenanigans with fake permission slips for field trips, and schoolyard crushes.
• Bizarre/funny discipline incidents: “You guys like each other so much, hold hands. He made them hold hands for the whole eight hours of the... You do that today, you get sued.” (58:38)
• The infamous schoolyard riot: “Some guy yelled, that girl's a whore... 50 kids surround this woman and everybody was just grabbing the tits, grabbing her ass. She's crying. And I'm standing there going, well...” —Joey (38:23)
• Sudden death of school figures—Mr. Mateash, “George Jetson,” freezing to death after a snowstorm (66:32).
• Tales of streetwise business, pizza revenge, and bitter shopkeepers.

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Notable Quotes

• On sports glory:
  “I had the record, which is 65. It's 50 years now... If I would have known about this, I would have made 300. Nobody will break it for 9 million.” —Mr. Barone (05:10)

• On growing up in North Bergen:
  “We went with our basketball. That's how fags we were... Me, Chucky, and Whitey were fags. We get there and he's like, I got no tickets. Take out your money.” —Joey (32:24)

• On old-school teaching:
  “He was a comedian. And it works. The kids knew. You knew I liked you when you were in my class.” —Mr. Barone (13:03)

• On community and childhood:
  “That was more than your parents saw you... they became a part of your fabric.” —Joey (14:31)

• On changing times:
  “We didn't go home and tell everything to our parents.” —Joey (58:28)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• ABA Basketball Stories: 00:45–03:39
• Teaching & Free Throws: 04:00–06:42
• Softball Glory: 07:54–08:29
• Changes in Education: 14:31–15:50
• Teachers as Community Figures: 16:20–13:03
• Corruption/Politics Riff: 22:00–24:47
• Wild Jersey Characters: 24:29–32:00
• Schoolyard Mayhem: 38:23–41:18
• On Parenting & School Trust: 34:26–35:37
• Discipline Then vs. Now: 58:38–60:15

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Closing & Tone

The tone is fast-talking, affectionate, profane, and deeply authentic—a snapshot of a vanished time where humor, heart, and (often questionable) authority ruled the neighborhood. The guests and hosts rib each other mercilessly while sharing warmth and mutual respect for their shared past. The episode is a love letter to grit, community, and the unique madness of growing up Jersey Italian.

Final memorable moment:
“We're just lucky we're from North Bergen, baby. We got that pollution in our lungs. I'll see you savages next week.” —Joey (77:02)

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Recommended for:
Anyone who loves classic New Jersey/NYC nostalgia, wild school stories, unruly American childhoods, and the humor and warmth of shared roots.

Transcript

[A]

Kick this motherfucker, mule. What's happened, you beautiful people? It's the Church of what's happening now. New Testament. I keep saying, new edition. Who the hell knows? It's February, Tuesday, February 17th. A beautiful day to be alive. My sidekick here, Lee Syat, the Jewish cato. Say hello, Lee.

[B]

I hope we switch to a camera.

[A]

With Mr. Barone and we got a little more hair than tonight. We got Mr. Barone, my seventh grade teacher, and his trusted sidekick, Joe Barone, who grew up to become a pharmacist. Good man. Down in Hoboken Pharmacy. Check them out. Anyway, we're here with Queer. What's happening, gentlemen?

[C]

Great, great time.

[D]

Great to be here.

[A]

You were talking about the NBA game last night, the African ballet.

[B]

Poor guy, he's like, you can't Weathers out there. We can't have this made some lead off. Third sentence.

[A]

Mr. Barone, you know. You know how we do it. But it's funny that you came here today because I was doing something last week and I saw a public service announcement. Julius Irving. And he was headed to the Soul Power premiere in the city. They had a screening and he talked about Soul Power. And I forgot to tell you in Staten island, when you came to the show. So Soul Power is like an eight part documentary on the aba. Fucking tremendous.

[C]

I got drafted by him. Yeah.

[A]

No, the Miami Floridians, they showed him. And they had. It started with Rick Barry, how they had to get a name. And then they had to take him to court. Golden State. Fucking. And then he. He sat out the year and then they went after Connie Hawkins. And then. I'm only up to episode two. They're just going into Julius Irving. But it's fucking you. It's great, man. But it was showing how it was. Like the NBA was boring. And they showed some white guy dribbling. And the announcers, like, look at how he dribbles meticulously. And also they show like Allen Iverson fucking doing shakes and all this shit in the aba. But they were just saying that the NBA was not exciting. And that's when the NBA took it. That's it.

[B]

What year did you get?

[C]

The Florida Floridians.

[A]

Miami Floridian. They had. They showed every team according to the map.

[D]

In the beginning, the stock.

[C]

They drafted me.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

And I went down here, I went down to their gym. The gym was like a bakery. The ABA was a great. It was starting to be good. But the NBA knew we got to get rid of this league. We went for my first practice that I Went to. I said, where's my shirt? My. I got out in the way. I didn't bring anything. The guy says, it's in. It's in that box. I open up the box, it's the Flintstones shirts. I said, is this a comedy? I wind up staying for two weeks. The guy sent me down for a contract. When he gave it to me, I said, I'm going. I got a job in a grammar school. And I said, I'm making twice as much money as this. And you're. ABA Got ate up.

[D]

The guy who was the star, they.

[C]

Had great players and they all went into the NBA.

[D]

The star of that team was Matt Calvin. Matt.

[A]

Yeah. They talk about him getting drafted.

[D]

He was the star.

[A]

He got drafted for 15,000 and for a $3,000 bonus.

[D]

He was the star of that.

[A]

Something crazy.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

And he goes, they gave me the opportunity to play and all this.

[C]

He knows everybody.

[A]

Yeah. The guy was. You know who the president of that league was? George Mikin.

[C]

Really?

[A]

The Mikan drills we used to do and shit.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

It was really. This was. Was really interesting. So I thought, you should watch it. You know, take your time. It's on prime video. It's free. I think for two bucks you get no commercials.

[B]

But I want to know. I want to know more. So were you eligible in the NBA draft too? And then you.

[C]

No, just aba.

[B]

And you made that choice?

[C]

I did that. The free throw thing in college.

[B]

You had like. You have the record for the most free throws.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

And then.

[C]

But the highest percentage. No. Is you play one year and you get the highest, they give you your percent. Today, if you have 88, you win. I was 97.

[B]

How many free throws did you take?

[D]

246 out of 250.

[C]

And I had the record. I had the record, which is 65. It's 50 years now. Now, the thing that annoys me the most after I missed. And it was one of those Montclair state. I missed one game and I made 52 more. But then they're going to break this.

[D]

He's a senior now, and he has.

[C]

Somebody told me a girl had broke it.

[D]

But tell me. Tell him what you told me. He said, if I ever knew about. We didn't know about it till he had. He was going after the 60 record. He said to me, if I would have known about this, I would have made 300. He said, Nobody will break it for 9 million.

[C]

He didn't know I made a free throw. All of a sudden, everybody was waiting to see if I Made my first two that night.

[B]

Why do you think so many NBA players have, like, such a pro? Like, I watched the Knicks.

[D]

What about that center, LE Robinson? Beautiful.

[B]

He's, he's, he's great. But he doesn't. He, at least last year he couldn't hit a free throw. And like, Shaq is like famous for, like, why do these.

[C]

You're talking about?

[B]

Yeah, like why? Or any of them. Why do all of them?

[C]

He's standing on the beach, he would miss the ocean.

[B]

And like, like, these are the best players in the world. Why can't they.

[C]

He's gonna get. I'm making him get in touch with this guy. I could help him.

[D]

He wants me to see if I.

[C]

Can embarrass the game.

[D]

Nick.

[C]

Sir.

[D]

Find out where he lives.

[C]

They foul him, he's in the game. What is the coach got him in the game for? He misses free throws, they lose.

[D]

And you're 100% right with him, he don't take two the same way.

[C]

No. And he shoots.

[D]

He has. There's no, you know about free throw shooting.

[C]

I can help him. We got to get in touch with him.

[D]

Let's get in touch with him right now.

[C]

I want a third of his salary.

[A]

It's crazy how you play basketball and you could do all these moves.

[C]

He's a good player, he plays great defense.

[A]

But then you fucking miss a free throw.

[D]

And he rifles him off the table.

[A]

And I know that the art of free throwing is something completely different.

[D]

It really is.

[A]

Mr. Barone will break it down for you at a different time because ain't none of you basketball players here.

[C]

I just went to a dinner and Chucky McBreen is speaking. So he says, hey, did you know my old coach is here? My grammar school coach? So he says, no, I had a. I. I was a smart guy in high. In grammar school. He. And he used to get even with me. He says, and one day I'm in a gym and I said, I can outshoot you for free throws. He says to me, because he was cocky.

[A]

Yeah, he was cocky young, you know.

[C]

And I said, all right, how much? He says, $10. He gets a dollar from each kid. They're not eating lunch today, okay? So sure enough, he says, you gotta give me. Move back. I said, no, I'll shoot lefty. And he tells the story. Chuck made eight in a row. Eight out of ten. I made ten out of ten, Lefty, because I'm all screwed up. I'm ambidextrous. I play baseball left handed. And he Throws left hand and I throw left handed. But I shoot a basketball right handed. He plays weird.

[D]

He played whenever we used to go do something. I said, what are you doing this as like. First I went play golf. He. Golf's lefty. And wait a minute. Softball. He doesn't. He don't brag about himself as a softball player. Championship game down in Hoboken. And that was a great league down there. They had all the greats. He hits three homers in the championship game. Before Jackson did it. He hit three homers. Championship game of all softball.

[C]

More than basketball.

[D]

He wasn't even a like considered a baseball softball player. But I remember that game. I was there. You had three homers. Leo's grande vu.

[C]

Leo's. You ever go to Leo's?

[A]

Was the.

[D]

Was there.

[C]

That was our team.

[D]

That was their team.

[A]

Leo's rendezvous.

[D]

Rendezvous.

[A]

You miss teacher, Mr. Bruno?

[C]

Yes, I. I miss the kids and I miss the teachers.

[A]

Who do you miss more? The teachers or the kids? You don't miss the kids.

[C]

I taught 49 years, but I made a mistake. I wanted to stay for 50 years.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

So I put in my papers. I. I go home and I'm figuring out. Let me just check this.

[D]

I thought you was a math teacher.

[C]

Was 49. It's 49 years. I saw. I call up the school. Can I. You know, they wouldn't let me fucking change it. Oh, no, that's. That's it. You're retired out.

[D]

If the papers are in.

[C]

Father was there. I get it.

[B]

You know who's North Bergen's biggest rival?

[C]

Hoboken.

[B]

Go to Hoboken for a year. Do like. You know, when I first moved to.

[C]

North Bergen, I needed a cop to follow me around. Because we always beat North Bergen in basketball, right? Always beat them.

[B]

And you were the killer.

[C]

And right when I. When I started hanging out in places and in courts. I used to be scared. I used to say this to kick the out of me. Like cursing me and this and trying to hurt me. I said, hey, but guys, I live here now.

[D]

The first time I. I'm a Bruin. The first time I met Matty Cebelo. He's always had a fedora on. He says, barone. He says, your brother's John Barone? He says, you're coming to North Bergen right next year? I said, yeah. He says, he's the one that made me get this. Takes his hat off.

[A]

Bald head.

[D]

He says, I'm bald because of your brother.

[C]

I never. We never lost.

[D]

Six times they played them.

[C]

Six times they Beat against them. I started as a sophomore six times. Yeah, we beat him six times.

[D]

You fouled the whole team out one time, remember?

[C]

Oh, that's a record, too. I have 20. Yeah, I have 23. It's not in the picture I gave you. I got to give you a different one. I had. They found me. St. Joseph's Cross street from Memorial. They found me 20. I got to the line 23 times. Four, and I made 22. That's a high school record. Nobody even. I never even knew about.

[D]

You found that whole team out, too, huh? You found that whole team out, too.

[C]

They only had three guys, and nobody mentions that. It fouled the whole team.

[D]

Was it the last. Yeah, the last few minutes. There was three guys.

[B]

Just how cool was it to be a good at sports in high school? Like, were you getting all the girls? Like, how were you?

[D]

I.

[B]

Was it cool being, like, good at sports in high school? Because I wasn't.

[C]

I had some Muffet's Italian girl whose mother was the best cook in Hoboken. I stayed with him for two years.

[A]

It's all about the food.

[D]

I love it.

[C]

It's all about the food.

[A]

I figured you'd miss teaching. I figured you.

[C]

I, I miss it when I, When I take my grandson when he was going to Lincoln School, and I passed it every day. I wanted to walk in, and I did it a couple of times. I walked in, they said, what are you doing? He had, shut the. I'm here. I feel like walking around. All right. These people that don't know who you are. Yeah, these new people working. Hey, you. Yeah, I ran this place. Now I'm in charge of. I'm in charge of in school for my last 20 years. I get the worst kids every day. I had 160 kids. We couldn't fit in the big theater. They have a theater there with, like, 60 chairs. We had to go on the all auditorium.

[D]

You should have seen that a couple of times. I went to visit. I give him something or whatever.

[A]

Hilarious.

[D]

He's up on the, he's up on the stage on a desk, and all these kids are like this. You know, he's watching them all. And he, he, I don't know how he did it.

[C]

I did. Stop talking. How you stop this.

[D]

Don't do that.

[C]

I, I, I was a, I was a comedian. I was a. I was like. And it works. And then the kids knew. You knew I liked you when you were in my class.

[D]

What about, what about when the parents came to. Parents?

[C]

The kids don't like you, they won't.

[D]

Listen to parents night.

[C]

And today, forget it.

[D]

What about when you told me parents night? A couple of parents came to you said earlier she was favorite teacher.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[D]

Not English teacher, the detention teacher. How the hell is that?

[A]

It's crazy because I go to all my daughter's events now and she's in the seventh grade.

[C]

God bless.

[A]

So now when I look at the fucking teachers that they have down there, they're bad. It's not that they're bad. They're young. Like we had teachers that were dusty.

[C]

But you know, I like you could.

[A]

Blow the dust off when they're born.

[C]

Here's the thing with that. I rather my kid be with a young teacher. You know why? Because they take it on the level. It's their first year. It's like your first year coaching you. You do too much. All right? It's the people teaching 49 years that are doing. Take your book out. You know, he.

[A]

But there's no.

[C]

No, they're the best teachers the first 10 years.

[A]

They're young, but there's no bond, okay? When I went to school, I was there at 8:30 and you went home at 3. That's six and a half hours without the lunch, Right? But you're still walking around at lunch. In those days, that was more than your parents saw you. That's 30 hours a week. You get home at three. Let's say you play a sport. You get home at 5. If both your parents are home, you're lucky if one of them, you know, you ate dinner, 8 o', clock, 9 o', clock, 10 o', clock, you went to bed.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

So you didn't see them. They became a part of your fabric. Now I'm watching my daughter. My daughter goes to school and comes home. I ask her by the teachers, not a fucking word. Not a fucking word. Because these teachers aren't pushing through that barrier. They're not getting through that barrier. They just scratched the surface, your generation of teachers. Whether it was whatever you want to say about Mr. Kingwell, that motherfucker made you do oral book reports. You make a kid do an oral book report today, he'll fucking die. He'll die, okay? And he would go to the middle of the book and ask you, what was the name of the janitor on the third floor when Penny went upstairs? And you're like.

[C]

And you talk about how good you guys like his era. The students were like, they're your kids. They never had a gym and they never had a lunchroom. You know, what they were. They ate lunch in the hallway in front of my class on a piece of wood coming out of the wall. Sitting on empty boxes every day and being in a hole and being happy.

[D]

About playing punch bowl in the hallway.

[A]

Playing punchboard. We did. In the wintertime, you either shoveled snort McKinley or you did fucking America's. The presidential program. We have to do 10 pull ups and 10 push ups. And there's always that chubby kid that can't do it.

[D]

Torture him.

[A]

He's shitty.

[B]

Yeah, no, fuck that.

[A]

So. But now that's what I've been going to this school for three years. It's a great school, great curriculum. But that personal. And I tell. Like I look at my daughter's friends, they're a bunch of fucking retards. Like I look at, you know, they make plans on Friday, Saturday, the kid's mother isn't driving. Now they're fucking retarded. I mean, the whole experience. And this is what I think. I think when we grew up, we were all going through the same thing at home. Everybody had something going on at home. Everybody whose father was a bookie, whose father was this, whose father shot a guy in the back nine times in self defense, whose mother did this. And even if it was known or it wasn't known, you had. You were friends with kids through an emotional bond. Like it was my daughter. Don't have that.

[D]

You brought your problems to them.

[A]

You brought your problems to them.

[D]

You said, what do you think this is what I'm going through? Then what happened to me? It's.

[C]

It's.

[D]

You bonded with them and they. They got you through a lot of shit.

[A]

And I guess at the end, I mean, I can't imagine I used to say to myself, what. What's this fucking guy do all summer, Mr. Brown? He swims in his yard, he plays basketball, whatever. He's missing us as much as we miss him. We've been in his hair for 10 months.

[D]

He used to be good the first month. I remember him every year saying to me, you know, I should retire. This is then August 1st. He used to say to me, I gotta get the fuck out of this house. You know, Like, I don't care. I miss the kids. I miss the thing I got. I could never retire.

[A]

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[D]

40 years old.

[C]

Usually eat them alive.

[A]

Oh, you usually do. That's what we do.

[C]

You would eat them alive?

[A]

Just eat them alive. But the point is, that thing is missing now. And I see, bro, I see it with her. Like she always asked me, how does. On the way home, she goes, how did. How was he your teacher in the seventh grade? They don't. I don't think these kids, when they grow up, they're going to talk to their friends in the fifth grade or eighth grade. Not like we did. Now I can't make a move without thinking of one of my friends or whatever, you know? So it's just really weird how teaching has changed. Mr. Barone was a fucking mind reader. Cause I remember jerking off one time. Not in school.

[D]

Not in school.

[A]

Cause we had Mr. Barone during the big Benny Hill thing. The beginning of Benny Hill. So every day, me, Bishop, you know, people saying that there was a title on Benny Hill. They would show titties and shit. And one night I banged one out to, like a Benny Hill thing, right? I'm in there, my mom's not home. I'm banging this motherfucker out. And that was the first time I came, right? And the next day, I'm in school, acting all creepy and shit, not knowing what to do. And Mr. Barone's got this glue, and it's not Elmer's glue. It's the glue that looks like come. And he's going like this. And he goes, hey, Coco, what's this remind you of? I was like, how do you know?

[C]

I think the whole book can help me there.

[A]

Yeah, the whole book.

[C]

I. I went to school there. If we had. I could write a book. I could write a book.

[A]

Have you read this book? That's out, but I've been getting calls to read.

[C]

What's that?

[A]

Bob's gold. Menendez is gold. Gold Bar Bob.

[B]

Oh, like the senator in the New Jersey.

[C]

I didn't read it, but I'll tell you.

[A]

I got a message.

[D]

Union City.

[A]

I got a message.

[C]

How does a guy like that, who had 10 gold bars in his closet and all this other money that they found in his bank and everything, how does his son with the same name run and win? Where are these people looking at? That's what gets me.

[A]

Beautiful.

[C]

I give somebody, you know, if my kids were in school.

[D]

He knocked Musto out of the box. You know how hard that was?

[A]

Yeah, it's.

[C]

It's just that $10 million.

[D]

You remember, Musto was the mayor.

[C]

It was worth his gold.

[D]

He was like a legend.

[B]

He must have done some good work for them. I mean, did people like him other.

[D]

Than old bars by doing bad work? Right. That's it.

[A]

But it's just really crazy how. That's the message I got. That's the exact message I got. Don't read that book.

[D]

Don't read it.

[A]

Don't read it. Cause you're gonna know a lot of the names, and you don't want to see those names anymore. So I ordered it today on Amazon.

[D]

I'll get it.

[A]

I was gonna go to. I went to the weed store yesterday, and it's right next to Barnes and Noble. And I got to the weed store and I got excited. On the way home, I passed by. Fuck. So I had my wife just order it and I'll get it this week. I'm gonna take a look in there. They said it's fucking.

[D]

Should be interesting.

[A]

I know Wally Lindsay's in there.

[C]

Wally.

[A]

Wally's.

[C]

Lindsay got some stories.

[D]

Turk Jordan's in here, then?

[C]

Turk.

[A]

Turk Jordan Oh, Turk Jordan's in there. I heard he's still around. No, Turk Jordan, he collects. He takes change out of.

[D]

He had newspapers.

[A]

Newspapers. Cadillac is always fucking running.

[D]

I used to have to do, you know. That was my. That was another one of my jobs.

[C]

They said to me with. They said he got it from me. Wally Lindsley is a new teacher in McKinley right now. They say, john, did you meet the new kitchen yet? I said, no, I didn't meet him. Where is he? He's in that last class. So I walk in, I'm talking with the guy, introducing myself, who I am. He says, you're the best punch ball player I ever saw. And stickball. I said, where did you see me do that? He says, I lived across the street from you in Hoboken. He's a Hoboken guy.

[D]

He is.

[C]

So he says to me, we got to talking, had a good school year with him. He says, what are you doing this summer? So I said, not that. Why, I'm trying to get a job from North Bergen in the summer now. I'm just. That's a long time ago. So he says, you want to work for me? He was the mayor then.

[A]

The Weehawken.

[C]

Yeah, he's the mayor of Weehawker. Teaching, right?

[D]

So he says, mayor of Hobonk. You want to work for me?

[C]

You want to work for me this summer? I said, sure. He says, I go to the town hall and Weehawken. I said, wally, you said everything to me but one thing. What do I do? He says, you see that guy over there with the wig on? So I said, the toupee? He says, you have to be with him every day. Whatever he wants to do. He's head of recreation. He's the head of about four things. He says, just if you come to me and say, you lost 10 votes, you. You're doing a great job. He loses 10 votes for me every day. You know what he used to do? We're driving a Wee Hawk. We Hawking truck.

[D]

He used to hang out. Yeah, in that. You know when you're going up the. Up. Up to the East Boulevard, there was that recreation building there on. What was the name of that street? Patterson Plank.

[C]

Yeah, I know what you mean.

[D]

That was his headquarters. That's where he had all the right.

[C]

Looking down the Lincoln Tunnel, where the basketball court was. You mentioned before. That was his office. That was his hotel room. That was his stat. Listen, he did the craziest things I've ever heard, ever.

[A]

Ever. He told us in the eighth grade that we had a winning record. He would. Got us laid. 8th grade, and we kept bugging him, bro. We had a winning record.

[D]

I got you, bro.

[A]

We had a winning. I got you.

[C]

He used to go like this. If somebody cut him off or somebody.

[D]

Did, you don't want to drive with him.

[C]

He used to have combination locks underneath. This the truth to him. If you. If you like cut him off or you didn't let him go, he. He take a. Throw it at the car and get the car or break a window and then argue with the guy. Like, he's right.

[A]

He was out there, that dude.

[D]

What about when he told. He comes to me, he says, you came to me or somebody said, you got to go empty all his machines.

[A]

Newspaper machine machines.

[C]

He owned everyone. He drives you. You put a quarter in.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[D]

He drives up, he goes, here's the car, take it. First of all. Now the car's like this, right?

[A]

It's crooked because it would drag all the quarters in the trunk. Amazing.

[C]

It was like this.

[D]

He had 20 of them in the truck. They were all full of quarters. I was driving like this. He says, empty them all.

[C]

You had a Lincoln Continental.

[A]

He brought up. He brought a naked woman to 38 basketball, 38 street courts the day school ended. And he goes, guys, she's in the backseat. I'll never forget how he rubbed his hands. Yeah, it was like satanic. Satanic. He was the original Epstein. This motherfucker was like, girl, guys, she's in the backseat waiting for you. And we all ran over there. We were horny, 8 year old, 8th grade kids. We get back there, it's a woman with her top ripped, passed out, fake tits. The tits were fucking solid. She's like, with a drool. And we're like, nah, Dirk, this ain't gonna work. We gotta go home and do homework. He's like, it's the last day of school, for Christ's sake. We gotta prepare for the eighth profession. We just tipped it was a woman that was passed out. He took us to a Sixer game and didn't have tickets.

[D]

Oh, yeah, he don't need nothing. He says, this guy, let me tell.

[C]

You, he says to me one time, you don't have to work today. Go home. But you got to be here tonight. I said, for what? He was with taking kids and their parents to Yankee game. So I said, oh, that's nice. I go home, I come back, he says, I'm in that first bus with the kids. You're in the second bus with the parents. I said, all right, no problem. Now we drive all the way to Yankee Stadium. We pull up to the stadium. He says to me, now I'm behind. He said, I see him go like this to the guy. He's got the tickets back. Now the guy comes in my. I don't know what you're talking about. The guy said, you got the tickets? He didn't have any tickets.

[D]

Bus load, he says.

[C]

He says to the cop, they're going to arrest him now. And he says to the cop, you listen, I got to make a deal with this guy. The cop lets him go. He talks to the guy. He says, you got all your equipment for the. What was the big thing? Where they have all the. Where you. They keep their instruments, where they keep their. All their stuff for Radio City?

[D]

Oh, like a warehouse.

[C]

In a warehouse in Weehawking. He said, I want the number of the guy that owns that warehouse where we're fighting, waiting. He gets the guy on the phone and he says, I want all your stuff out of our warehouse. So he explains what's going on. The guy says, put the cop on the thing. He bought all our tickets. So I said, how could you put me in that position? Yeah, guy back there has got the tickets. What you expect me to do?

[D]

What about when you guys were going down to Shawna, if you could tell this story? You're going down the shore, and he pulls over, there was a woman there, and he says, get in the car. Remember that story? Every 15 minutes.

[C]

Every.

[D]

He said. He says that. He says to the woman, he says, get in the car. We're going down the shore. Every 15 minutes, you'll get a fresh load. There's four of us.

[A]

You know, it's just funny, but this is Turk Jordan.

[C]

And then some.

[D]

He embarrassed you every five notes.

[C]

Know that guy? You just waved to him. I said, yeah, Turk Jordan. What do you do this time? He said he drove backwards six blocks in Hoboken in reverse. You know the trouble that caused.

[B]

What is New Jersey like?

[C]

Streets are like this. Cars like the. The.

[B]

The New Jersey in the 80s. Sounds like a. Like the warriors movie. Like, what were the. Like, what is it about this place that, like, you like. I've never met anyone who had any of these stories. And you guys could spend. Spend hours if I talking about each year.

[C]

This is North Bergen. We do North Bergen. My whole boking thing is, what do.

[B]

They do, kill each other?

[A]

It was crazy, Lee, isn't it?

[D]

It was all fun.

[A]

These guys were my teachers. They took us to basketball games with no tickets. On Christmas Day. The Knick Sixers. For two months. He promised us. He got tickets. The day of, he told him to meet us at a bar by the Garden again, Joe Barone. We're in the fucking eighth grade. We went with our basketball. That's how fags we were.

[C]

Oh, yeah, right.

[A]

Me, Chucky and Whitey were fucking fags. We get there and he's like, I got no tickets. Take out your money. We're like, what are you talking about? We gave you money.

[B]

That was a while ago.

[A]

Tickets went down like seven bucks, eight bucks. I didn't give a fuck. He goes, get $5 and put it under these tickets and we'll get you in. We did it all the time. But, God, you're a fucking. You work for a fucking city town.

[D]

What the fuck? He was a lunatic.

[A]

He was a fucking. Then we went in and he couldn't find a seat. He sold out.

[D]

You should sold out.

[A]

Go to seat. He's just sitting.

[D]

Go to the track with him. We used to go to the track with him.

[A]

I can't even imagine.

[D]

I can't even go to Meadowlands. I say, I don't want to go. He said, you got to go. He should say, I'm going to. You're coming.

[B]

And the best part is that you guys were like. The teachers were way better back then. Like, imagine if Mercy's teacher was doing this. You would lose your mind.

[A]

Our parents had no reason to ask, right? Our parents would not ask.

[D]

And we didn't suspect.

[A]

We had a generation that we would not come home and talk. No, we didn't come home and talk. With school today, like your mom with a. An apron on, with, you know, cookies. You know, nobody did that. You walked in the house, you got a bowl of Mat of God, and you ran the fuck out of the house.

[C]

That you were never home.

[A]

You were never home because God forbid you missed something, right? God forbid you miss something because now you get goofed on for not being there. What were you doing? You were too busy with your girlfriend. Oh, I'll never see that woman again. Yeah, because this is. Was a different world.

[D]

It was because there was no phones like we got. Now you had it. You had to go. You didn't know what was going on.

[A]

No, there was no Twitter. There was no ice.

[D]

Something happened.

[A]

Nobody was pulling up. You know what I'm saying? We just went, dude, your mom had.

[B]

Your mom didn't know you got left back.

[A]

No.

[C]

You met.

[B]

That's.

[C]

That's wild. That's.

[D]

That's. That explains the whole thing.

[A]

I didn't say a word. Not a word. I did not want her involved in my day to day activities whatsoever. Because she didn't know that world. So why would I include her in anything to do with that shit? I gave up after Catholic school. She made a fucking jerk out of me in Catholic school. You know, cursing at people and shit and fucking. No, I wasn't going for that. But your parents trusted the system. There was no teacher's dating a 16 year old. Then there was no teachers fucking students. If anything, I used to always grab Ms. Brando's tits in the seventh grade. I love Patty Brando with all my heart, you know. And it was just a different fucking world for kids. I look at my daughter now and I'm sick to my stomach. Not cause she's not a good kid. Because on Saturdays if she doesn't have practice or we take her to the mall. Yeah, she got a couple little retarded girlfriends. But my daughter is north bergen, so she's 13, going on like 16. Her little girls don't know what she's talking about.

[D]

She's got a little bit of advantage.

[A]

Yeah, sure. You know, you have to take them into deep waters from time to time. If not, they're going to be like the rest of these fucking kids, you know, they got nothing going on.

[D]

Well, hit him with this, with the, with the detention in school. One time I had to get something for my house in Home Depot. So I said, come with me, I don't know what I'm doing. He don't know what he's doing either. But we went to Home Depot to get the stuff to do whatever I had to do in my house. So we're going up the aisle. He goes, oh man. Here's my principal coming down the aisle. What was his name? Al something.

[C]

Al Mateish.

[D]

Right. He goes cut over.

[A]

I said, jetson.

[D]

I said, how are we gonna come to that?

[A]

George Jetson.

[C]

That's what we look like that.

[A]

Next week I'm gonna see Wally Lindsay. He's coming to the show in Tampa at the Hard Rock Casino.

[D]

Wow.

[A]

So I'm going down that day earlier so he could come to the club and eat with us. So we were, that's gonna blow your mind.

[D]

So I says to him, that's like.

[A]

Having him in stereo.

[D]

So he's got it.

[A]

He's got a whole different farm, a whole bulk of stories.

[C]

He got us in trouble.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Three, four teachers. He. He set up a basketball game between the teachers and the kids. Now we played A game where we're sweating our ass off. He says, listen, I got permission. We're going to the spa. You could take a shower, take your time, get something to eat and then we'll come back to school. I said, did you get fucking permission to do this? He goes, yeah, I own that principal who was made this. So now we're missing. We get back, it was 2:30 from 12:00'. Clock. We took all that time. We walk in there, they had the superintendent, they had fish back there waiting for us. He had some parent, you know what, to set that up. I figured they'd. I figured they'd get mad, but they can't do nothing to me. Me and Marco are like this. He was.

[A]

I moved here in 1973. My mom had the bar in Union City way before, like in 58. And I went to Catholic school. I went to Sacred Heart in Kearney. They threw me out and I had to go to McKinley. And as soon as I got to McKinley, there was a thing like that October, I don't know if you guys remember. Remember when the Mets played the faculty, the North Bergen High School, Matlak and a bunch of guys came over?

[C]

Yeah, I played in that game.

[A]

That was my first experience ever in a North Bergen event. Okay. I told Lee about this. I go to this game, you know, nobody's smoking pot, nobody's doing nothing. We're in the fucking sixth grade. But on the way out of the auditorium, some guy yelled, that girl's a whore. There was just some girl standing there talking to another girl. And they go, that's girl. That girl's a whore. She wants to get felt up. And I never saw 50 kids surround this woman. And everybody was just grabbing the tits, grabbing her ass. She's crying. And I'm standing there going, well, after I grabbed the pussy and tits too, because I went in there. But when I stepped away, I'm like, these people are fucking animals. Like, I lived in New York City, my godmother was in Harlem on the weekends. This was unacceptable in so many ways. And then we walked home on the boulevard, like 80 fucking kids walked all the way down. You know, people who had to stop at Franklin, St. Cecilia, fucking McKinley and Kennedy School. I was like, I'd never ever seen anything like that. There was hundreds of kids on that lawn fucking grabbing that poor girl. I think she fucking moved to Wayne the next day or some shit. But that's how I knew, like, I was like, I'm in a different fucking world here. And then going to McKinley, that like just because if you went to McKinley, that came with Carmine Balzano, so you knew what was going on there. And you're like, what? Why am I even trying? This guy could just smack the feature and I get a B. You know what I'm saying? Why you fucking try? It was just. It was so surreal. And I understand where you're coming from, Lee. You're like, what the fuck? Where were you guys raised, bro? And Planet Rock, that's where we were raised. Go look at. Because it's not. When. Listen, look at this. Before, when you came in, Joe Barone, you were talking about the 77 basketball team. The tallest guy was six foot six.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

In the fucking States. And he was no fucking Moses Malone.

[D]

No.

[A]

But they squeezed that out and won the States. And then a year later, the Bruins won the States at the Meadowlands.

[C]

That was Havlicek.

[A]

Well, no, Football, football, football. And I'll never forget, looking at the size of those kids and who they had to play. And Snyder, I'll never forget. And they had to play against Walker. Lee Ashley, who fucking won a Monday Night Football game for Minneapolis. Recovered a fumble as a linebacker.

[C]

Linebacker.

[A]

Big motherfucker. Big motherfucker. And North Bergen were these five foot nine Italian midgets. Capozzi.

[B]

Yeah, that sentence has never been said.

[D]

That was tougher than him.

[A]

That was tough. 5, 8, 59 Italian midgets built out of fucking brick in marigot and meatballs and Italian bread and New Jersey pollution.

[D]

What a runner.

[A]

What a fuck. And that's when I knew there's something going on here. That is not. And then, you know, us fucking having summer jobs where you had a duck when the cops drove by. You know, that's unheard of. Who has to duck when cops go by? But the guy that dropped us off was like, listen, you're going to do this landscaping job on 46th Street Field. 46th Street Field had like. You know, where you put plants in, like, those houses. We had to tear them apart. They were doing it with no permit. And they were paying us like 450 an hour. That was like gold in 1978. Like, you had all those jobs, like people just come to you. I knew who they were. I'm not gonna say motherfucking thing. But they come to you. You want a summer job? Just go down there a couple days a week. What about the other days? Do what you want. Like it was. You were living in the surreal. Then it snows, and then next thing you know, you're on a hill going this way. Behind the police station, you know, fucking. It was just a fairy tale. And then McKinley, forget it. Fucking forget it. From the sixth. I did the sixth grade. Two stints in the seventh grade and the eighth grade. I was there for four years. Every one of those fucking years was insane. From the teacher getting beat up to having a teacher that's a mayor that gets arrested for fucking murder. You know, fuck. I mean, you know, this happens to everybody.

[D]

He was. He was. What was he doing with chickens?

[C]

Who?

[B]

Nothing good.

[C]

Oh, factory.

[D]

He calls. He calls me one day. You want to be a chicken doctor? You know who's a pharmacist?

[C]

Say Barone said he wants to. He wants to go with you with the chicken factory. He was trying to get a chicken factory and. And steal it from this guy. Old guy, owned it. He said, we'll get it for nothing. You'll be my partner, all right? And then he went to. He was going to jail for that.

[D]

Yeah. He asked me one time, he says, you know anything about chickens?

[C]

You want to legal FBI came to kidney.

[D]

I'm a pharmacist for people. I'm not a pharmacist for chickens.

[C]

Where's the other guy? He was with. They. They didn't squeal on me. The teachers, I said, watch them squeal on me. Who's the other teacher that Lindsay. This guy was with? And I said, I'm fucking dead. And they didn't know? Oh, we don't know. We don't. We don't deal with him. He's different than us.

[D]

Well, he came close to making it big, but then he.

[C]

And I was used to tell him, I want to do this, I want to do that now, you know, you want to own a chick factory? We'll make billions.

[D]

What do we know about chickens?

[A]

Nothing. What do you need to know?

[D]

Not nothing.

[C]

That was when. Frank Perdue is like, in his prime. He was in his prime.

[A]

Crazy. We had those crazy ass teachers and. But nobody, you know, everybody was on the up and up, or at least.

[B]

It doesn't sound like.

[D]

What do you mean, the up and up?

[B]

We consider that you've described like 84 crimes a person. I've never. Dude, it sounds like they might have. Oh, my God.

[C]

Hudson County. I want to write a book about Hudson County.

[A]

Yeah, everybody does.

[C]

Probably get shot. Yeah, you'll get the stuff that I know you can't. It's just I've had that idea now for about five years. I'm gonna. I hope I hurt myself or I can't walk.

[A]

And Then you make it, and I'll.

[C]

Write it, and I'll write it, and you'll. It'll be all stuff like we talked about, the whole thing. And I'm not talking one sound. I'm talking about Hoboken. I'm talking about West New York. I'm also talking about Jersey City. And people don't know about Jersey City, but I do.

[B]

They're gonna have to put you in, like, a different stage.

[C]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

New York movie to Pennsylvania.

[D]

What about West New York?

[C]

My father's an ex con, you know, that's why I got along with. So the people that knew me, really knew me, used to tell their kids, his father's Mafia.

[A]

Your father had the fruit thing. Yeah, yeah, I remember. He's a good guy. I went there a couple times.

[D]

Yeah, he was bookmaking in the back.

[C]

He was in the basement with three phones.

[D]

Ladies, Ladies. To come in the store. She said, joe, Jesus, the oranges are four for a dollar. He said, take nine of them. What do I care? The other day, he was worried about the booking. He wasn't worried about oranges.

[A]

He was booking. And then the guy that had the hot dog stand on 70 was booking. That was right. Right there where we got by you on the side headed to County Boulevard. That van was there every day. He sold two hot dogs a day. Two. He.

[C]

He. I said, give me three. I have to take three home. Give me two to eat here and three in a bag. So he does it. He gives me the bag. I'm walking to my car, and he starts. I hear him screaming. He had all his. He had a customer. He wrote all the numbers that the guy was playing on his bag. He says, oh, if that. One of them would have hit. Oh, I'm. Thanks.

[A]

Last week, I had the pleasure of visiting Union City. Our friend Lucio, Yeah, friend of the show, is one of the commissioners. They said one of the captains was a fan and he listened to the podcast. So I went down there. Now I drove around. It's 38th and Park. So I kept driving around. You know, I couldn't. I couldn't hit the right street. But as I'm driving, I'm getting fucking goosebumps because that was the neighborhood right around the corner from that fucking police station when I was a kid was the bank. It was right there. Little bar that was there. The Cuban Bank. And if you went up two miles, that was Beltram's father. Felix. Felix. He's still there. They're on the. I don't think he's Taking numbers. But that whole circuitry. They call that street, 38th street is Cortina Way. That was the Cuban doctor Lefty Cortina. Also went to North Bergen. Talk about. I'm gonna hit you with a. I'm gonna hit you with a name from the past that I bumped into his brother that was also a good basketball player in his own right, Brian Smythe.

[D]

Oh, my God, Brian.

[A]

You fucking remember Brian Smith. You taught his kid, his brother Matty. Matty the hippie coached him, I think.

[D]

Yeah, they fucking coached him on JV I. Yeah, yeah.

[A]

You walk into a theater, that's who you're gonna see. Or North Bergen kids. They're all the stagehands. That generation. They all became stagehands. The McMahon brothers, the Smites, a bunch of Irishmen.

[D]

He wasn't a bad player.

[A]

Yeah, no, he was a good player. I remember. That's the guy who took me to Hudson county park when Bernard King.

[D]

Yes, yes.

[A]

Lived.

[D]

He used to live in a round. He used to live in a roundhouse.

[A]

Stonehenge. One of those.

[D]

The other one.

[A]

The Galaxy.

[D]

Galaxy, I think. Yeah.

[A]

And he would go up there. We would hide in the bushes till about one in the morning, and Bernard King would come up that. This whole fucking north park that you sit there and go, what the fuck? So you're right. I finally parked. He goes, come down that one block and you could park there. And when I parked, I just remember pulling the car up and turning it off and just going, wow, where the fuck am I? And I looked, and I go, holy shit. And he goes. He goes, everything okay? I go, yeah, yeah. I go. And he's the captain of police. I go, we used to buy guns and bazookas when I was a kid in that house. He goes, what are you talking about? There was an Italian girl from North Bergen and her boyfriend was Colombian. And he sold everything in that house. He sold everything. Bazookas, guns, bullets, coke, heroin, gold chains. It was a fucking nightmare. And I don't even want to tell you who took me there. I will not tell you who dropped me off there one night. He's like, I know where I'm going to drop you off. I'll pick you up in an hour. And they dropped me off there, and I'm smoking pot with the chick, and she's got a bodysuit on, 1984. She had a leopard body suit, but the pussy was cut out. You could see her little pubic hairs coming out. And I'm smoking pot with her, trying to focus. I'm Looking at her pubies. And then she goes, she bring out coke and she go, hey, you could do this. I'm going to go to the bedroom and freshen up. She would come out 20 minutes later still looking all fucked up. She'd come out, do code, give me more. I realized she had a guy back there. She was fucking. She was a hooker too. I mean, this was fucking.

[D]

Those. Those bars in Union City, though, they played baseball on a Sunday. 10, 10 grand a game. That's how Stevie Baum messed his.

[C]

His own mother's grocery store was. There was one in Broadway and there was one in. On Park Avenue. 60th Street, West New York, you know, where you go down and then the pools there. But his store could have been a big hit. Oh, get it on as a television camp out like the Honeymooners. It was better than the Honeymoon. A lady would come in and he wanted to be bothered with ladies that want oranges. He's worried about fucking the money he lost last night. Like she would say, joe, you got any kumquats? He goes, take a fucking walk.

[A]

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[D]

Throw her out of the store. Throw her out.

[C]

We had to do the dirty work there.

[D]

What about the time he. The great. He was by the grapes. He says, joe, you want some grapes? He says, I'll give you the loose ones on the bottom. You know, that come off the. So I said, I don't want the loose ones. So he goes open the door, he takes the loose cherry grapes and he throw. As he throws them out the door.

[C]

Ladies walk, lady walks in, hits. She gets hit in the face.

[D]

So now she's no, my father runs. He's. He's hiding in the back of the store. The lady's going, joe, Joe, Joe.

[C]

I got stung by a bee.

[D]

So my father. My father comes out, goes, holy. Yeah, you did you know those big grapes.

[C]

He had something funny to say to every. A customer would come and say, joe, can I have six slices of baloney? He said, oh, you're having company.

[D]

Give me one pepper and one.

[C]

Having a party.

[D]

He says, I'm not even going to walk to the register. Just take them. Worth the walk to the register or weigh em.

[A]

Then there was the other. Then there was a fat bookmaker, Ernie. You remember him, North Bergen. All the way up, like towards.

[D]

I don't remember that.

[A]

Ernie was a fat guy. They used to call him shaker. He weighed 500 pounds and he made lemonade, but he made the lemons from scratch. He would cut the lemons, squeeze them, put sugar and a little club soda. That's what the difference was. It was like, nice. So when you went up there, you were like, hey, let me get six lemonades. And you could see a look on his face.

[D]

Fuck.

[A]

He'd take out his stubby little hands and he looked like a bomb maker. He had fingers missing from cutting his fingers from making the lemons. And then when he'd shake them, like he wiggled, you know what I'm saying? And we go, Shaker. And he'd go, my name is Ernie, But you know, I think that.

[D]

Is that hot dog place still there. Who stand in Union City by the park, you know where I'm talking about before you go down.

[C]

I don't think he's there. You know he's there.

[A]

The one on 30th street is still there. That motherfucker's still there. That's up the block from my mother's, right? He went from Burger Line to the other corner. Now he does piches the stick with the kebab on it. Yeah.

[D]

When you go to the transfer station, you come out and there's a park there. What's the name of that park over there? You should take me to the hot dog place all the time.

[C]

He. In fact, he was come up from Hoboken and then. What's that street? What's that? He's always.

[D]

He was always right by the entrance.

[A]

The one, the one you're talking about. 30th street there. There on top of the Linden Tunnel. Okay.

[D]

Because that guy had good dogs too. Plus, you know. Plus I used to get there for nothing because he always owed daddy money.

[B]

You'd collect on. On your dad's. Dad's at the hot dog place.

[D]

Give me the dogs.

[C]

I wish you guys could spend a day there with us. It was in that.

[D]

In that store.

[A]

You know, I caught the tail end of that mentality, you know, like with you guys.

[C]

That the pheno who was the mayor of West.

[A]

West New York, the big.

[C]

Was my father's lawyer. So now when he becomes mayor, he goes to my father's store, and he says, joe, I want half of what you're making. And you could still do this. If not, you got to stop. Because they know. Everybody knows we're friends. I'm your lawyer. So my father said, get the fuck out of here. And he made the kid that delivered for him piss on one of his pizzas. He used to take a whole pizza, fold it in half.

[A]

Delfino.

[C]

And eat it like that. 500 and eat the whole thing.

[D]

He was five.

[C]

So my father. He had to go. He had a spine. How long is that in jail?

[D]

Which time? Which time? That's amazing.

[A]

The fino went to a. Somebody died one time in Hudson county, like, politician. And I remember we were the ushers at veneeries. And Delfino came. We had to carry his chair. He brought his own chair?

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

Brought his own chair like a. Like a throne.

[B]

And I have no problem with him eating an entire pizza, but the fact that he had to fold it because he didn't want to waste time eating two slices at once.

[D]

And you didn't cut it. What? You know when you go like this?

[C]

No, I know.

[A]

Why.

[B]

I know how you cut things.

[D]

You leave it alone. So we could fold it.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[C]

He would just eat the whole thing and then slices. And then you just have the ends in his hands.

[D]

Slices would get loose if you eat.

[C]

It all the way up to the.

[B]

And did he eat the whole pizza? That got peed on.

[C]

Who?

[B]

Did he eat the pizza you guys peed on?

[C]

Oh, every crumb was gone. Just the end was left.

[D]

I told you. He was five. Ate that like a slice.

[B]

You still know what?

[C]

Pete Marco hit him with a camera in a headquarters. He was in North Bergen taking pictures with another guy when Marcos were in. And Joe Marco, we're taking stuff out of mailboxes, and Joe Marco says, who's that over there? That's Stefino. He crosses the street. He takes the camera that he had, and he cracks it over his head. And he. You see him on the floor bleeding. He said, I'll get you. This will be in Every newspaper. I don't know how he got out of that. And then I. I bought every paper there was. The next day it was. It wasn't in. They must have had something on it.

[D]

It was a crook.

[A]

That was a different world, man.

[D]

There's no proof.

[B]

There's no video anywhere.

[A]

They didn't put anything in the paper. So, you know, it's craziness. What a different world we came from. What a different world.

[D]

Yeah. When he was the disciplinarian there, I always run into guys that know him. One day, I'm just thought of this. I run into this guy. He says, your brother, he was the best. I says, why? He said, one day I was talking to a guy next to me, and he says, you guys like each other so much, hold hands. He made them hold hands for the whole eight hours of the. You like each other so much, hold hands.

[C]

You do that today, you get sued.

[A]

Yeah. You used to say, some walls, I could.

[C]

I could have got wired about four times.

[A]

Wow.

[C]

But it wasn't a bad thing. But you can't do that.

[A]

But what's the difference of the kid then that ran home and told his mother and took the fence again? What was the difference between us being 13 or 12 and these kids today that they run right home, you know? God forbid. Listen, I shouldn't have said this before, but it's true. I mean, I never heard of nothing crazy in North Bergen, but I'm sure in all the eight schools there was a teacher sucking a tremendous dick. You know what I'm saying? Whether it was Horace Mann, Robert Fulton, there had to be a teacher sucking dick. This is North Bergen. You never heard about it. Why? Because no kid went home and told his father that some teacher sucked my dick. Let's call 911. You know what I'm saying? I mean, it's a jokey thing, but think about what I'm coming with here. We didn't go home. That's what I'm saying to you, Lee. We didn't go home and tell everything to our parents.

[D]

Those kids didn't go home. Say, we had to hold hands for eight hours.

[A]

Yeah. They didn't go home and tell their dad we had to hold hands for eight hours.

[C]

But not because you lived in that section. To me, the kids that came from the. From the school, around the school, they were the best kids. They were the best kids in upper. Because when I got to the high school, then I saw the different groups, different schools. Yours was the best.

[A]

The best.

[C]

The kids were the best.

[A]

Unreal.

[C]

You know what happened One time? I never got in trouble with the principal or any time. I never had to go into the office. And you knew the superintendent was going to come to talk to me. So they said, john Fishback's coming over. You gotta. He has to talk to you. He's pissed off. So I said, for what? I didn't know what she was talking about. We go in Tenero's office and there's a girl sitting there. And I don't even remember her being in my class, but she's told her father that I pulled her hair, okay? So now Fishback says to him, where's your father? To the girl, she went to the bathroom. Now the kid comes in and when she told everybody what I did, now it was my turn. I said, my turn nothing. I said, I didn't do anything to this girl. I don't know what she's talking about. Now her father walks in. Don't you know? I don't know his name, but he's a McKinley kid that I had. He goes, wait a minute. He didn't even. He. He said, wait a minute, Mr. Barone. I said, yeah. He says to the. She's a liar. She's a liar. Because I know this guy. He was my teacher. And he wouldn't lie. I was like. I couldn't sleep that night. That's how happy I was.

[D]

That was a go.

[C]

Never heard that. And I don't even remember this kid. He grew up.

[D]

He was the guy who made whole hands for eight hours. Nah.

[A]

Remember when you first got to McKinley? We had a problem in North Bergen. Joe, you're gonna remember this. Fontana. We had two of them. One was a basketball, the baseball guy, and one was a track guy.

[C]

Yeah. Frontiner I didn't like.

[A]

He had him in McKinley. He was a track coach.

[D]

Really?

[A]

At McKinley.

[D]

Now which one? The baseball coach.

[A]

You're talking about the baseball coach?

[D]

Yeah, I know him.

[A]

When I was in the seventh grade. Do you remember? They were.

[D]

He wasn't the greatest guy.

[A]

No, he was a piece of shit. And one of the reasons why he got a beaten was because they were on a bus. He told two Spanish kids not to speak Spanish. Oh, and he said, if you speak Spanish again, I'm throwing you off a bus like in fucking Newark. And he threw the two kids off the bus in Newark. That didn't work out for him at all. Like that Just did not work out for him.

[C]

No.

[A]

I think one of the parents called the school and the other guy just went up there and threw a beating on him. They would just let you go when a parent threw a beating on you. I think because I wouldn't see those guys anymore.

[D]

You know, those. Those field trips.

[C]

I never forget that day. I. I almost cried when I said, I'm gonna get fired. Something I didn't do. I don't even know what this girl's talking about. And he walks in and says that I was. I still remember it like it was yesterday.

[D]

The field trips were great because they used to.

[C]

Everybody show you how many people are innocent and they get buried like that.

[D]

What about the field trip? We used to go and then everybody had to be back on a bus by a certain time. So we started out with. With 35 kids on a bus. So bus driver goes, how many you got? She says, 18. That's how many kids were missing. We went to the zoo.

[C]

What happened with his group?

[D]

We went to the zoo.

[A]

Yeah. We went to Bear Mountain.

[C]

We went to Bear Mountains. And there's two buses. I got one bus. The other teachers got the other bus. I said, you ready? I'm all here. So she said, I didn't even count mine. Now, how many people are on a bus? 44 something, I said. She comes out and she goes, John, 30 emissions. Yeah.

[D]

I was like, they're up.

[C]

Now we look in the mountain. You can see this one big mountain. And they're waving. You're climbing on the trees. It was unbelievable.

[D]

That was it. That was normal field trips that year, I'll tell you.

[A]

You were talking about Mr. Mustache before. Who? Mr. Maytash Mustache. And he had the George hat hair, whatever. George Jetson had to.

[C]

George Jetson in the eighth grade. I gave him that name. The whole school.

[A]

Yeah, he gave him George Jetson.

[D]

Remember? He said, I wish I could know who gave me this name. You said to me.

[C]

He told me he lived on the next block for me.

[A]

He was a sweetheart of the guy.

[C]

So sure enough, I slipped one day and I say, jetson. Hey, Jetson's here. He heard me. He heard me. He says, you just said that to annoy me. They're driving me crazy in school with that. If I ever found out who gave it to me, I gave it.

[D]

If they made a movie, he's definitely.

[A]

Would have been George. Fast, small, short, you know, he died. Oh, spaceship.

[C]

He's on the next block. And I had to do something for him. And I think he's my principal. I did it. Something would. Oh, he's going down the shore. Can I bring his garbage cans out? So I Did it that night. It fucking snows like crazy, like the one we just had. He never comes home. He never comes back. Those two garbage cans are standing in front of his house. I wonder what happened. I get dressed, I go to school. Do you hear what happened? No, what happened? Mateash is dead. I said, how did that happen? He was shoveling and they found him frozen, holding the shovel.

[D]

Holy Christmas.

[C]

He took a heart attack while he was shoveling. And it happened.

[D]

It's a leading.

[C]

Cause it snowed so much. Like we had shoveling his body, they had a picture of it.

[D]

Cancer's one shoveling his laugh.

[C]

But he was upset.

[D]

I don't trouble.

[A]

Thank God he was on duty when Carmine beat up Mr. Zatara. I'll never forget the look on his face. But the best was he warned us, do not. Because there's a rumor going around that you guys are going to field day in the eighth grade. He goes, coco, please don't go. Just don't go up there. Mind your business. Fuck you. We're going to field there. We're playing like big time basketball on those courts. And he fucking came from the hill. He just stood there watching us. And I remember, I saw him and I'm like, I'm in trouble anyway. Let's finish the game. And he's like, when are you gonna step over here? Come on, we're going back. He drove us back to McKinley. I think it was me, Louis Hernandez. He drove a couple and we got suspended for maybe an hour.

[C]

And then the thing about Maytas that's unbelievable is when I. When a month or a year passed and somebody says to me, did you hear about Maytash? I said, no, what happened? I know he died. He froze all that. He said, no, no, no. He worked for the CIA and he was a pro. He was a priest for four years before he became. He went to school and became a teacher.

[A]

An interesting guy. I mean, he was.

[D]

It sort of makes sense.

[C]

I'm playing table tennis. They had. The teacher had a table tennis in the gym. You did play it at lunchtime. So Maytas, I'm playing him. And Kingwell walks in, he says, you're getting tired, right? I go, no, I have the joy in this. Just give it to me. I want to get him because he used to bust King's Waltz. So now I said, what do you mean you want to get him? He says, I'm going to fucking put holes in his head when we. When he. When I play. I'm good at this. So sure enough, God fucking Punished him because the opposite happens. This fucking guy, they're hitting him in a face King. Well, one almost went in his mouth. And after I got done, I said, Mr. Mates, can I talk to you for a minute? He goes, yeah. I said, I'm shocked because Kingwell was a decent athlete when he was in school. I said, how did you beat him like that? That's all you do when you're a priest on your spare time. You play table tennis. He got great at it. He was slamming it at him.

[A]

Man, I didn't know.

[C]

Poor Mr. Maytash.

[A]

Poor Mr. Maytash.

[D]

Frozen.

[A]

Died out there. Frozen to death with a McKinley School shirt on. You know what I'm saying? Poor bastard. What do you got going on now, Mr. Bro?

[C]

What's that?

[A]

What do you guys. Are you still involved with different basketball things?

[C]

I know I'm with the kids and I, I. My. My granddaughter's on the girls team kicking ass, right? And they lost today. They got knocked out of the playoffs. But I wish I could say something, but I can't.

[A]

Okay. That's your focus, though, now, the rank.

[B]

Mr. Brown, we are still being recorded.

[D]

Worst coach ever.

[C]

Okay, Pick that up today.

[A]

Joe, what are you up to these days? The pharmacy's done.

[D]

Pharmacy's done. I went to. I went from there to Corporate, Merck, Medco, and should have did that from the start, you know, 401k, call out whenever you want. I was working seven days a week.

[C]

Like that's another sitcom.

[A]

When he had this, the Pharmacy.

[C]

That'S.

[D]

Three more episodes of this.

[C]

He's got boys that work for him. And I said, I'm. And I'm helping out in the. In the store. I took care of the register. So I said, joe, you. Where. Where are these fucking guys? 45 minutes. They only had to go two blocks. Kid comes back, he got a haircut. The kid comes in.

[D]

For years, though, you know, I worked in Charles Pharmacy in North park, you know, down from McKinley, right across from Collins Diner. There was a pharmacy there at Charles Pharmacy. For years I worked in there. There's another sitcom after Hoboken.

[A]

After Hoboken, after Hoboken, After. You talk to anybody from your. Nobody.

[C]

You know that face.

[A]

I was talking to you. I thought about something.

[D]

Frank a little bit.

[A]

Who?

[D]

Frank a little bit.

[A]

Frank.

[C]

Sean, who's the Italian singer?

[D]

Jimmy Roselli.

[C]

You ever hear of Jimmy Roselli?

[A]

Hoboken.

[C]

I'm. I'm working the register in his store, and he's doing what he's got to do, and Jimmy Roselli I know because I. He's Italian, has a thing with Frank Sinatra, right?

[A]

That's why he could.

[D]

Frank Sinatra blackball him off, right?

[C]

Because he would sing for his mother.

[A]

And they used to tell him, frank, put the. Close the trunk. You're embarrassing us.

[D]

Roselli sold him out of the truck.

[C]

Now, if you're from Hoboken, you know who Jimmy Roselli is.

[D]

Sinatra's mother. Love the way he sang. The dialect. Neapolitan dialect. And he had. Sinatra asked him to sing at her birthday, and he said no.

[C]

But now, Joe, that was it. Is working to myself. I say, jimmy Rosali looks like Jimmy Rosali. So he goes, gives Joey the pill thing.

[D]

Hurry up.

[C]

One of them things, he says, hurry up. I'll, I'm. I'll be waiting outside. So I'm, I'm waiting. I figured he's just been a bad mood. Jimmy Roselli walks in, he says, you got my. He goes, no, I didn't do it yet. He don't know who. Jimmy Rosella.

[A]

I don't know who this guy is.

[D]

So now getting. He was getting fresh.

[C]

Hey, kid. And he was a mean. He says, hey, kid, don't you know who I am? So I'm going like this to Joey. He don't know what I, he, he, he ain't picking it up. So sure enough, I didn't want to lose him as a customer. So, so he says, hey, kid, I'm the famous Jimmy Roselli, the singer. You don't know that. So Joey looks at him, he says, I'll tell you what I'm gonna do for you. You sing me a song, and I'll do your prescription. He trolls just how mad this guy. He made. $400 worth it breaking things.

[D]

I thought he was gonna, I thought he was gonna have a stroke.

[C]

That Joey, that's.

[D]

His wig was like, crooked. You should have seen the condition this guy went in.

[C]

He really took a fit. Yes. He didn't know.

[D]

I said, tell you what.

[C]

I'll tell you what. You, you make bread, you sing a song, and I'll do your prescription.

[D]

I didn't sing. I didn't sing for Sinatra. He went through a whole thing. I said, holy Christmas, what happened here? How did this go sideways? His fault.

[C]

I, I. When he left, I said, joey, that's Jimmy Roselli. How do you not know? Because I don't know who the. You know, I don't know about Jimmy Toupee.

[D]

I said.

[A]

They were gonna make a move. Travolta.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Play him.

[C]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

I was auditioning me and Billy Gardell. And at the end, he pulled it out for a cosmetology movie. What's those movies?

[B]

Scientology.

[C]

You don't love people with anybody.

[A]

Sal Roselli.

[C]

No, south of North Burger.

[A]

He loved who he lived in. He.

[C]

He loved Jimmy Roselli more. He saw him every. Every other month, wherever. He sang, singing.

[D]

Yeah, he was Atlantic City a lot. We became big friends after that.

[A]

We're going to wrap it up here, mister.

[D]

You know why, right? And have card games up there. I heard he had card games up in that house. Roselli. Big time card games.

[A]

Joe, what's up? Let me wrap this up. Hey, you know who I saw in Colorado? Who? Chris Morano.

[D]

Oh, yes, Real quick. My son went to UMass. Chris is a teacher at UMass.

[A]

Wow.

[D]

Teaches that, like, you know, plants, Natural healing.

[A]

You know, he was always a.

[C]

Eat a.

[D]

Eat a clove of garlic.

[A]

Yeah, he was weird.

[D]

Instead of taking your blood pressure pill, you know, we were opposites, you know, I was. I was medication. He was, you know, eat this or that.

[B]

Plants.

[A]

Yeah, he went. I remember he went to meet George Burk. I was with George and we went.

[D]

I haven't seen George or her from him in many years.

[C]

He started with Danny in the background. Caught he was better than him.

[D]

That's all right.

[A]

It happens, brother. Well, I'm happy. I like your sneakers, Mr. B. Oh.

[C]

I can't say nothing.

[A]

Those are good sneakers.

[D]

All right.

[A]

Thank you for coming on, Mr. Bar. I appreciate it.

[C]

I enjoy it.

[A]

People gonna love it. Joe, thank you so much. 40 fucking years.

[D]

Thanks. Thanks for. I saw you at one of your shows, remember?

[A]

That's right. Yeah.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

I came to the. I can make the last one. I was. I got five grandchildren too, now.

[A]

How many kids?

[D]

Two.

[A]

That's all you need. Lee, how you doing?

[B]

I'm doing great, buddy. I'm going to be at the Saratoga. Comedy Works this weekend.

[A]

The 20th, 21st year. Nobody even fucking asked you. No, I'm happy at the same. I got nothing this week. I got nothing till the 5th in Tampa and the 16th and 14th in Foxwoods. Foxwoods Casino.

[C]

Nice.

[A]

And that's it. That's all we got this week. Yeah. We got a birthday. I want to wish Dario happy birthday and Ralphie Mayer a happy death. Oh, it's his birthday? Fuck yeah. 63. God bless you gives a fuck. We're just lucky we're from North Bergen, baby. We got that pollution in our lungs. I'll see you savages next week. Same bad time, same bad channel.