The Island of Insanity Party

Summary

The Church of What's Happening Now: The New Testament
Episode: The Island of Insanity Party
Release Date: January 14, 2025
Hosts: Joey Coco Diaz & Lee Syatt
Guest: Steve Avillo

---

Introduction and Welcome Back (00:00 – 15:15)

In the latest episode titled "The Island of Insanity Party," hosts Joey Diaz and Lee Syatt kick off the show with heartfelt New Year greetings and updates. Joey apologizes for being sick the previous week, expressing his eagerness to return after a brief hiatus. The duo extends their sympathies to the fire department and those affected by the recent California wildfires, emphasizing their commitment to genuine support over traditional donation channels.

Notable Quote:

Joey Diaz [00:10]: "I was sick last week. My apologies about that. Lee couldn't handle it by himself, you know."

Introducing Steve Avillo (15:15 – 16:18)

The conversation takes a nostalgic turn as Joey introduces his longtime friend and guest, Steve Avillo. Joey reminisces about meeting Steve in eighth grade at Our Lady of Libra, highlighting their enduring friendship that spans over five decades. The hosts express their camaraderie, setting the stage for a deep dive into their shared past.

Notable Quote:

Joey Diaz [15:35]: "Today, my guest is, what I call them, guests. They're family. Today, the family member is a guy I've known for a long time."

Memories of North Bergen and Youthful Escapades (16:19 – 45:40)

Steve Avillo shares vivid memories of growing up in North Bergen, New Jersey. The stories range from battling cold weather in the city, navigating high school antics, and engaging in mischievous activities like stealing from beer trucks and attending wild parties. The hosts recount their adventures, including memorable concerts, interactions with quirky neighborhood characters, and humorous incidents that defined their formative years.

Notable Quotes:

Joey Diaz [17:09]: "We ran into him at the restaurant, yeah, at the Rudies. We ran him a few with Mike Bart."

Steve Avillo [35:39]: "Bring a cop. Bring whoever the fuck you want. And I had nothing in my locker."

Joey Diaz [42:34]: "We were out every night after that in one form, shape or another."

Rock 'n' Roll Adventures and Concert Chaos (45:41 – 64:19)

The discussion delves into their passion for music, with Steve detailing his journey in the band business and the formation of The Past Masters, a band he's been part of for nearly two decades. Joey and Steve reminisce about attending legendary concerts, including those of Ted Nugent, AC/DC, and Pink Floyd. They share intense experiences from these events, such as chair-throwing chaos during Led Zeppelin performances and the tragic plane crash that affected Lynyrd Skynyrd, illustrating the highs and lows of their rock 'n' roll lifestyles.

Notable Quotes:

Steve Avillo [79:42]: "Absolutely. Absolutely. It keeps me sane."

Joey Diaz [62:44]: "What a good dude. He was the best."

Joey Diaz [65:05]: "Whenever I get confused, I put dogs on, and it sets me the fuck straight."

Personal Reflections on Music and Life (64:20 – 85:22)

Joey emphasizes the significance of having creative outlets, particularly music and comedy, as essential for mental well-being and stress relief. Both hosts reflect on how their early experiences and friendships shaped their careers and personal lives. Steve underscores the gratification derived from performing with his band, comparing the exhilaration to the intimacy of sex, highlighting the deep emotional connections music fosters.

Notable Quotes:

Steve Avillo [81:01]: "It keeps me sane. And it's... It just, you know, I love music."

Joey Diaz [85:19]: "For Christmas I wake up, oh, I got you a foot massager for your calves. I go, I'm gonna use that once. Then it's gonna sit over there and collect dust."

Closing Thoughts and Goodbyes (85:23 – End)

As the episode winds down, Joey thanks Steve for his stories and the enduring friendship that has been a cornerstone of both their lives. They briefly touch upon personal challenges, such as Joey’s recent illness and Lee's experience with edibles, maintaining their signature blend of humor and candidness. The hosts reiterate their commitment to returning the following Tuesday, assuring listeners of more engaging content despite recent setbacks.

Notable Quote:

Joey Diaz [90:40]: "And I'm like, yeah, yeah. What are we going to do a walk up that hill for? For donations like we could."

Conclusion

"The Island of Insanity Party" offers a rich tapestry of personal anecdotes, musical passions, and nostalgic reflections from Joey Diaz, Lee Syatt, and guest Steve Avillo. The episode skillfully blends humor with heartfelt moments, providing listeners with an engaging glimpse into the hosts' lives and the enduring bonds of friendship formed in North Bergen. Whether it's wild concert tales or deep personal insights, this episode stands out as a testament to the power of storytelling and camaraderie.

---

Highlighted Quotes with Timestamps:

• Joey Diaz [00:10]: "I was sick last week. My apologies about that. Lee couldn't handle it by himself, you know."
• Steve Avillo [35:39]: "Bring a cop. Bring whoever the fuck you want. And I had nothing in my locker."
• Steve Avillo [81:01]: "Absolutely. Absolutely. It keeps me sane."
• Joey Diaz [85:19]: "For Christmas I wake up, oh, I got you a foot massager for your calves."
• Joey Diaz [90:40]: "And I'm like, yeah, yeah. What are we going to do a walk up that hill for?"

---

Note: This summary intentionally omits advertisement segments and non-content sections to focus solely on the enriching and entertaining conversations between the hosts and their esteemed guest.

Transcript

[Joey Diaz]

What's happened, you bad savages? We're back. Happy New Year. The church New Testament is here. We missed you.

[Steve Avillo]

Busy.

[Lee Syatt]

You know what I'm saying?

[Joey Diaz]

Things are busy. Things have been going on. I was sick last week. My apologies about that. Lee couldn't handle it by himself, you know. I was going to do a zoom, but. Who wants a zoom? The hell with zooms. Anyway, before we get this started today, I want to. Me and Lee want to extend our hearts to the fire department, the people, California, everybody who lost a house, whether you didn't lose a house, whatever. I know it's tough, but this, too, will pass. Trust me. It always does. We haven't donated yet because, you know, Blue cross takes, like, $22 and this and that. So I'm trying to find a pigeon that I could send a couple grand to. And so it benefits the people. You know what I'm saying? If not, you just send an envelope out and everybody jumps up and down. And the people who need it the most get like a chopstick. So that's not gonna happen in my world. But anyway, we're back. Lee, what's the story, dog?

[Lee Syatt]

I'm good. Don't send it to Blue Cross. That's the health insurance company.

[Joey Diaz]

Whatever. Blue Cross, Red Cross, I don't know. They always show up with coffee and.

[Lee Syatt]

A dog, you know?

[Joey Diaz]

But it was a good week, man. We're back. What's been going on in your world, Tarzan?

[Lee Syatt]

Oh, I'm finally, like, back, like in New York. I just have. I've been gone for so long that it just, like, I'm. I. I'm still waiting for it to wear off. How much I love it here. I don't know. I've been loving it.

[Joey Diaz]

Wait till you get hit in the head with a stick.

[Lee Syatt]

Why do you keep putting that out there? People keep sending me messages.

[Joey Diaz]

Wait until you get stabbed.

[Lee Syatt]

Someone's gonna do it. Like, Joey's gonna be so happy.

[Joey Diaz]

I'm really. I'm really, like. I'm really liking New York.

[Lee Syatt]

I like.

[Joey Diaz]

You know, it keep saying that, walking around with that hood on and shit.

[Lee Syatt]

What hood?

[Joey Diaz]

They're gonna hit you in the fucking head. You look like a pigeon. They're gonna just hit you and take everything from you. You didn't see that? Who's in New York City? You can't be dicking around. Who's dicking around looking like the fucking, you know, all bundled up like it's fucking 8,000.

[Lee Syatt]

First of all, it's been like 12 degrees there.

[Joey Diaz]

It's not 12. It has not been 12 degrees here at all.

[Lee Syatt]

Yes, it has.

[Joey Diaz]

The low has been 23. Oh, the faggy windshield. Whatever. That's. No, you know, come see me when it's real. Cocksuckers. This is not cold.

[Lee Syatt]

Yes, personally. And then there's 8,000. There's a wind tunnels, so. Yeah. Where. And I lost that thing, which is annoying. That neck thing, which really did help, by the way.

[Joey Diaz]

Thank God you lost it because you look like a geek with it.

[Lee Syatt]

I look like a geek with everything.

[Joey Diaz]

Jewish. Only Jewish gold chains, which is the.

[Lee Syatt]

That doesn't help. I'm gonna get robbed with a gold chain for sure.

[Joey Diaz]

No, because you hide it under the sweatshirt.

[Lee Syatt]

So how's that going to help with.

[Joey Diaz]

Col. Well, because you got the Jew in you. You know what I'm saying?

[Lee Syatt]

It keeps you warm.

[Joey Diaz]

You got the Jew necklace. It brings warmth to the neck.

[Lee Syatt]

Oh, my God. I. Dude, I can't. There's no way I can win at all with like. Like, I. I love it. I get texts now. Someone texted me last night, like, you and Joey broke up. I'm like, I don't. I don't. You have, like an army of people.

[Joey Diaz]

What would I say? Listen, people get stupid when you don't put the podcast up. We didn't really say nothing. I was like, fuck it, you know, they'll figure it out. I mean, you know, I gotta write you a note to figure out. There's no podcast. If you look at three places and there's no podcast, there's no podcast. You move the fuck on.

[Lee Syatt]

Right?

[Joey Diaz]

Trust me. I was getting tortured too, but I didn't answer one email. I didn't give a Frenchman's fuck. Go find something to do. Go play in traffic complaint. Knock it off with the phone, George. Knock it off, please. For Christ's fucking sake.

[Lee Syatt]

But I'm. I'm doing good. I. I don't fuck. I saw our buddy Doc. He came in this week, which has been great.

[Joey Diaz]

Hopefully we'll see him tomorrow night.

[Lee Syatt]

Yeah, we are going to see him tomorrow night.

[Joey Diaz]

Doc Willis from the store.

[Lee Syatt]

It's. It's been cool, dude. I. What else has been going on now? I've just been doing. I've been trying to write, trying to do. I don't. That's, like the hardest part for me right now is like, there's a million things you can do, and I don't feel like I'm doing any of them right. I don't. I don't know what it is.

[Joey Diaz]

We gotta get to a plan. When you're in a position like you, you gotta make a plan what nights you're gonna go out, what nights you're gonna hang. It's a fucking struggle. It's not gonna happen. Cause you write three fucking jokes and go to the stand and pop three jokes. I mean, it's just, it's, it's, it's an insane hustle, man. And I tell you all the time, like, I don't have the effort right now to put into a good set anymore. Like, I just don't have it. It requires six nights a week, spitting, living, chewing, you know, that's it. That's what it requires. So, you know, it's tough. It's tough for a lot of people. Right now, standup wise, I'm seeing a lot of people fucking stuck, right? And it is what it is. You just keep fucking throwing touchdown passes until you're not stuck.

[Lee Syatt]

And I'm like, the biggest part I'm struggling with right now, and I talked to you a little bit about, it was like the hanging out part, because I've been doing it and it actually, it did work. I got up at a club, but I feel like such a fucking loser just hanging out at a club, like buying, I buy a drink. So I don't know how to a cheapskate. But I know the managers don't want to talk to me. They have 8 million things going on.

[Joey Diaz]

Listen, it's a process. If you told me at 8 o'clock that you get dressed and go to the comedy cell and hang out all night looking around, then I'm gonna be mad at you, right? You go out, you do your sets, and then you hang for a little while and let them see you, let them talk to people with you, you know, and in time you'll figure out. It's just so weird how somebody will come to you and go, I can't get into this club. And you try, you try. You send tapes, you do a bunch of shit and then you give up. And one day George calls you and goes, hey, I'm headlining there. You want to come feature? And you're like, right? Yeah, but the guy hasn't booked me. Don't worry about it. All that shit for fucking nothing, right? All that drama for fucking nothing. But it's better than not doing anything, you know, not doing a spot and not writing and not reaching out to your fucking friends and to bookers every week, whatever the fuck it is. Little commitments become big commitments. And especially with comedy, especially with anything in life, little commitments become big Fucking commitments. And you just keep it, just keep blowing up. But if you're gonna get momentum and then leave for six weeks to go on the road. Right, you defeated all that.

[Lee Syatt]

Yeah.

[Joey Diaz]

So you really have to start looking at your time, what's going on, you know. And it's a fucking struggle. Nobody, nobody's going to give you dick in this life, guys. You know, you got to have to put the fucking work in. Even if it sticks to hanging out till 2. And they put you up at 10 to 2. That's a fucking stomach. I've done that shit. That's a kick to your stomach. But at least you got the fuck up.

[Lee Syatt]

Yeah. Oh, I would love a 2am spot right now in New York at a real show. I would. And I'm actually really excited. I know. And trust me, I'm sure in five or ten years of like another midnight whatever, that, like, that's why I live here, is that I, I would, I went to 2am Con. I went like, there was one time those Jews who would jump up and down that I would go see all the time. In college I came to see him and I had like a 6am bus back and it like, I just had nothing to do. I didn't get a hotel. I was saving some money and one of the barkers got me into the. There was one in la, or there still is one in la, but it was called the Haha or like the Ha in Times Square. He said, Dave Chappelle's. He said everyone was going to be there. There was a comic who, God bless him, was like, didn't speak English. But it was one of the, it was one of the best nights I've had. It was. I, I, I can't wait to be there doing a 2am spot at a real club.

[Joey Diaz]

All right, well, we'll see.

[Lee Syatt]

I'm fucking. How are you doing? You had a great, you had a. I know you were sick.

[Joey Diaz]

I was fucking down for the count, man. I was fucking down. It was, it started like the third. First off, I'm really happy that I didn't get sick over the holidays. Cause the last two years I had Covid on Christmas.

[Lee Syatt]

Yeah.

[Joey Diaz]

Or the year before, I had it twice or something like that. So I, I fucking stuck. I hung low the week before Christmas. Cause my nieces were coming. And then three days after New Year's I just started feeling weird. And then Sunday, it really hit me. Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, I finally went to the doctor. They thought I had a walking pneumonia. You know, the whole fucking deal. And here I am slinging dick and giving out bubblegum. It's Monday, bitch.

[Lee Syatt]

You know what I'm saying?

[Joey Diaz]

Whatever you felt last week, that was last week. This is a whole new set of fucking rules. So.

[Lee Syatt]

And what. I don't know if you want to talk about it now or not, but your daughter had a birthday this week which is pretty. Yeah, outstanding.

[Joey Diaz]

It was fucking insane. It's too much. First of all, that birthday started on Wednesday, so her birthday was Wednesday, but the birthday started on Monday. And I don't mind. I don't. I don't give a fuck when it's your kid. You know, it starts whenever the fuck you want it to. Wednesday. She came downstairs and we were talking in the morning, and I couldn't even look at her. I couldn't even fucking look at her. Cause it was real. It was too real. She was turning fucking 12. That's it. It was 7 in the morning. She hit her. She was born at 7:08. Like Biggie.

[Lee Syatt]

You know what I'm saying?

[Joey Diaz]

Fucking. She went to school. And the rest of the week, it was like I was floating on something just watching her.

[Steve Avillo]

Mm.

[Joey Diaz]

And then she had the party. The party was fucking cool as shit. There were, like, dirty fucking girls. Dirty. Three girls and three boys.

[Lee Syatt]

Jesus. At your house.

[Joey Diaz]

No, fuck you, okay? Fuck you. Fucking Dave and Busters.

[Lee Syatt]

Oh, shit.

[Joey Diaz]

Shitty food, shitty pizza. But the kids have a good time. They don't give a fuck. They just jump up and down.

[Lee Syatt]

I still have fun of Dave and Buster's.

[Joey Diaz]

They had a Ms. Pac man. Like a Mr. Pac man. A big motherfucker. I was like, man, I wonder if I left mushrooms in the car. Because I would have fucking eaten some mushrooms and played that Mr. Pac man for about an hour. But the highlight of the night was her little boyfriend came.

[Lee Syatt]

She had the. Oh, Jesus.

[Joey Diaz]

It's got a little.

[Lee Syatt]

No, it's not like a real one, okay?

[Joey Diaz]

She's tougher than nails. She's, like, eating my boyfriend, dad.

[Lee Syatt]

Okay?

[Joey Diaz]

But they've known each other since the first year in school together, right? And when they're together, you're like these two fucking nerds. They're two fucking nerds. He's mixed, okay? He's half black, half Irish. Nice kid. Really nice kid. And, you know, it was like her and two little boys went, but he was sitting by my daughter the whole fucking day. And they would take off together. They would play games together. And then at one point, I saw him holding hands. Like he was taking something out of her hand. And she's like, but, dog, this is what life is all about.

[Lee Syatt]

That doesn't freak you out at all?

[Joey Diaz]

No. Why would it? Cause your daughter fucking three, four years. It's coming.

[Lee Syatt]

Oh, I know it's coming.

[Joey Diaz]

It's coming. What am I gonna do, throw her out? No, what are you gonna do, throw the guy out? They're fucking kids.

[Lee Syatt]

I know, but no party. Like, I had a girl's dad do that to me once. Like, just talk to me a little bit.

[Joey Diaz]

Yeah. First off, when we were 12. And when they're 12, it's two different twelves.

[Lee Syatt]

Yeah.

[Joey Diaz]

Do you know what I'm saying? When I was 12, I was already looking at itty bitty Teddy, and, you know, I was looking to dance with you at the school dance. These kids don't even. Really. They don't. You know, they don't.

[Lee Syatt]

You don't think so I thought I was gonna guess it was way worse.

[Joey Diaz]

I've spoken to Mercy for fucking hours. I talked to her about everything. And I was. I thought she'd be, like, wooning over the guy. Fuck no. The guy sat over there. She sat there. She didn't give a fuck. Which was pretty confident of us. She was pretty confident with him. And that was it. We went home, we went to another party, we dicked around, and now she's 12. And we moved the fucking.

[Lee Syatt]

And now she's 12.

[Joey Diaz]

Now I got ready for next year.

[Lee Syatt]

Are you having a bar mitzvah for her?

[Joey Diaz]

I don't know yet. You have to, like a Cuban bar mitzvah?

[Lee Syatt]

Sure, why not? I wouldn't have pork there, but Jews.

[Joey Diaz]

Are gonna show up. They're gonna go, what type bar mitzvah is this gonna be? I'm gonna be having conga drums and chickens and shit.

[Lee Syatt]

Oh, my God. That's a good bar mitzvah. I would take that.

[Joey Diaz]

That's a good fucking bar mitzvah.

[Lee Syatt]

Are there. Are there a lot of Jews in your. In your neighborhood or. I would imagine she's probably gonna go, hot ton. Oh, that's a fun time. Bar mitzvahs are fun.

[Joey Diaz]

I live in a high area. Jewish, you know, area, whatever.

[Lee Syatt]

And it's good. You only got to give 36 bucks as a gift. That's the best gift. 30 Jews are the best. I love it. You'll get a 36 check, I guarantee it. Ask. Ask your Jewish neighbors. There's 18 is like the. Like this, like, the number for life. So for your bar mitzvah, you get double. Life is the gift. Some people will give more but you'll get that whoever. Just go with a $36 check.

[Joey Diaz]

Bro, I missed $5. There was no $36 checks.

[Lee Syatt]

You know what I'm saying?

[Joey Diaz]

I got paid, Jack. If I would open that envelope and seen $36, I would have gone in there and ripped off his little sideburns. I'm getting mine, cocksucker. Anyway, we'll be right back with my man Steve Avillo. What's happening, beautiful people? Happy New Year. It's Tuesday the 14th. The New Testament is brought to you by. Bam. Bluechew. We're all looking to be a little harder, better, faster and stronger this year. That's where bluechew comes in. Bluechew helps give men longer lasting, stronger erections. So your sex life could be tip top Magoo. Using the same active ingredients as Viagra, Cialis, and Levitra, but at a fraction of the cost in a chewable form. And get ready to flip your sex life upside down. Listen, let's say you bump into a victim, you have a cocktail. You know what I'm saying? She likes you, you like him, whatever. And next thing you know, you want to get the party started. But it's the first time you've been with a certain person, and you don't want to just get the party started. You want one of the eyeballs to pop out of. To get started, just sign [e-mail], consult with one of your licensed medical providers, and once you're approved, you'll get your prescription quick. It's all done online from the comfort of your own home. Listen, it's very easy. And make life easier for yourself by getting harder. And discover your [e-mail]. listen, you're getting old, just like me. You don't want to sit there every night and watch some bad tv, you know what I'm saying? You got one, Maybe one and a half. Good night in you. You drop three of those bluechews, bam. It's all over the shouting. Mama's taking an early retirement. Try your first month at bluechew free. Visit bluechew.com for more details and important safety information. We thank Bluechew for sponsoring the church.

[Steve Avillo]

Welcome back to Chur.

[Joey Diaz]

All right, you bad. We're back. Today, my guest is, what I call them, guests. They're family. Today, the family member is a guy I've known for a long time. He'll tell you we still keep. We talk every week about music or something stupid. I love him with all my heart. Mr. Steve Avilla.

[Steve Avillo]

How you doing, brother?

[Joey Diaz]

Good to see you.

[Steve Avillo]

It's good to see you, too.

[Joey Diaz]

So wait a second. Before, you were saying that you met me at Our lady of Libra.

[Steve Avillo]

Our lady of Libra. That was the first time I met you. Yeah.

[Joey Diaz]

Eighth grade year.

[Steve Avillo]

Eighth grade.

[Joey Diaz]

Eighth grade.

[Steve Avillo]

Yeah.

[Joey Diaz]

Because then when would I see you at the 64th street field? You Rego, the other guitar kid. That was then. That was that summer going into freshman year. No.

[Steve Avillo]

Yeah.

[Joey Diaz]

And you played the guitar. And I never forget. The string broke.

[Steve Avillo]

Yes.

[Joey Diaz]

You were playing one of the Rolling Stones or something.

[Steve Avillo]

We were playing Brown Sugar.

[Joey Diaz]

There you go. I remember that. And the Sting. The string broke and I never forgot how I kept watching you and how you just kept playing. It wasn't like the string broke and you were gonna tap the out.

[Steve Avillo]

No, man, you never stopped.

[Joey Diaz]

And I was really impressed. I'm like, holy shit, this. I would have just gone home. I would have packed the guitars in.

[Lee Syatt]

The middle of the song.

[Joey Diaz]

Yeah. The fucking string went. And he kept fucking jamming and singing. Who was the guitar player?

[Steve Avillo]

Spracho. You had. No, that was before Spruce. That was. I think it was Beckenbach and Mike Liebel. One of the guitar players. Dennis DeCarlo, rest in peace, he was the bass player. Yeah. Johnny Rago was on drums.

[Joey Diaz]

Johnny Rago on drums.

[Steve Avillo]

My brother Johnny.

[Joey Diaz]

He's still walking the streets. Johnny Ray.

[Steve Avillo]

He is. He is. He's sitting with us every time we play now. Comes up and plays a few songs.

[Lee Syatt]

We ran into him at the restaurant, right?

[Joey Diaz]

At the restaurant, yeah, at the Rudies. We ran him a few with Mike Bart.

[Steve Avillo]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Joey Diaz]

And it was great.

[Steve Avillo]

They do, like a weekly thing there. Him and. And Lee Aino and. Yeah, and Johnny.

[Joey Diaz]

Good guys.

[Steve Avillo]

Yeah, good. They're the best.

[Joey Diaz]

And I think I bumped into you freshman year and the horse. And the rest was history, Pretty much.

[Steve Avillo]

Pretty much.

[Joey Diaz]

The rest was fucking history.

[Steve Avillo]

Pretty much. A lot of. Yeah.

[Joey Diaz]

You know, to give you some light. Steve Avillo comes from a fucking tremendous family in North Berlin. I mean, fucking tremendous. If they ever have a top 10 families in North Bergen, Avillo's gonna make the fucking list easy. And it's the truth. A lot of people ran through that house. A lot of people went through the house. We had a lot of good laughs there. Your mom was like the universal mom to everybody, you know? I still remember your dad passing.

[Steve Avillo]

Yeah.

[Joey Diaz]

And shortly afterward, my mom passed.

[Steve Avillo]

Yeah. Yeah. Your mom died about a year later.

[Joey Diaz]

About a year later. And I'll never forget that I got a call one night to meet you at your house. With lubes for a fucking party, right? And it was. I get there, and we're the only three young kids.

[Steve Avillo]

Yeah, yeah.

[Joey Diaz]

Like, we were the only three allowed there. It was all seniors and shit. And I walk in there and I'm like, I don't know what I'm gonna expect here. And they had a garbage can.

[Steve Avillo]

Yeah, the garbage can with the cuckoo juice in it.

[Joey Diaz]

With cuckoo juice in it. With fucking everything. Shoes. There was bees in there. There were fucking bees in it.

[Steve Avillo]

We were throwing bees in it. Yeah, I was catching bees and throwing bees.

[Lee Syatt]

I always wondered that question. Cause it was a punch and there was bees in it. I wondered if bees, like, fell into it or you were just like, no. Where do you get all these bees?

[Steve Avillo]

Well, they would be flying around. Cause it's. Right. So we just hit him into the punch. After a while, you didn't care.

[Lee Syatt]

Yeah.

[Joey Diaz]

And every time I was scared to go close to it. Because every time you came close to that tub, one of the older guys would grab you, forearm you in the chest, and scoop out of the garbage can and go, here, and you had to fucking drink it. I think I drank, like, six of those motherfuckers. And I don't know what happened to me.

[Steve Avillo]

It had every alcohol under the sun.

[Joey Diaz]

Everything.

[Steve Avillo]

And it didn't matter. Whoever came in, they'd come in with a bottle, and it was a bottle of tequila, bottle of Jack Daniels, bottle of gin, bottle of. Every alcohol under the sun was in that punch.

[Lee Syatt]

Sounds like it tasted great. That's crazy.

[Joey Diaz]

The band didn't play that night. There was no.

[Steve Avillo]

Actually, we did.

[Joey Diaz]

Somebody played that.

[Steve Avillo]

We did. That was Danny Lowenstein.

[Joey Diaz]

Okay.

[Lee Syatt]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Steve Avillo]

Danny Lowenstein, my brother Dennis DeCarlo again. And me. That was it.

[Joey Diaz]

And the drum stayed. Yes, the drums stayed.

[Steve Avillo]

Because we slam in the back room. That's right. That's right. Fairies wear boots.

[Joey Diaz]

But I used to play basketball every day. And every day a cop came by, and his name was Ray Ernesto. Do you remember Ray Ernesto? He lived by some sulos. The thing that stuck out the most with Ray was he always played basketball with us with colored socks. And it irritated the fuck out of us. Like, God damn it, Ray. Why must you wear fucking colored socks? He'd wear party socks, Right?

[Lee Syatt]

I just want to clarify, though. You said it irritated the fuck out of us. Is us everyone or just you?

[Joey Diaz]

Me at the court. People at the court. Because in those days, if you wore colored socks to the high school, they sent you home because if you cut yourself, the ink would go into Your skin. So you couldn't take gym class with colored fucking socks. So I always remembered that. And every time he come with the thing, I'm like, this motherfucker, he's gonna cut himself and he's gonna fucking die on the court. And da, da, da, da. And then, you know, we'd elbow him lightly like we used to fuck him up a little bit. We were young kids.

[Steve Avillo]

That's what you do.

[Joey Diaz]

But that night I left your house. I don't remember leaving right. All I remember is being asleep on Sinsulo's lawn. And Ray Ernesto kicked me. And I recognized the sock. I'm like, God damn it. He's like, are you okay? I'm like, yeah, let me give you a ride home. And he fucking gave me a ride home. And he knocked on the door and my mom answered and she's like, what the fuck? Don't worry, it's Ray Arnesta. He's got colored socks on. Don't fucking worry about it. She was pissed for like three days. But that started like a fucking movement. Like, that started a movement of willow.

[Steve Avillo]

Yeah.

[Joey Diaz]

That never ended till fucking 1985, pretty much.

[Steve Avillo]

Pretty much.

[Joey Diaz]

It really fucking did. That was just. We were out every night after that in one form, shape or another. And then I still remember, like, our concerts, we all went to see Ted Nugent and Aerosmith at the Meadowlands. Did you go to that one?

[Steve Avillo]

Yes, I did. Yes, I did.

[Joey Diaz]

I walked home like a idiot.

[Steve Avillo]

Yeah.

[Joey Diaz]

Cars are doing 90 past me and.

[Steve Avillo]

You'Re walking on that freaking bridge.

[Lee Syatt]

Why were you walking home?

[Joey Diaz]

Cuz that's what we did.

[Steve Avillo]

That's how you got there.

[Joey Diaz]

That's how you got there.

[Lee Syatt]

That's a great answer.

[Joey Diaz]

You think mom gave you a ride? The in the wagon?

[Steve Avillo]

Not the.

[Lee Syatt]

But they have buses here.

[Joey Diaz]

Buses.

[Lee Syatt]

We have time about being on the bus.

[Joey Diaz]

We have time for.

[Steve Avillo]

I don't remember buses going out to Giant Stadium.

[Joey Diaz]

Not the Giant Stadium. We walked, Jack.

[Steve Avillo]

Yeah.

[Joey Diaz]

How far away is that from my house? From Villo's house? An hour, an hour and a half.

[Steve Avillo]

Yeah.

[Joey Diaz]

Jesus. I still remember walking home from the track with no money and cars, doing 90 next year. And I'm yelling at Ronnie. We had $80. What the fuck is wrong with you? Fucking cars are doing 100 past us now. But that was. That was one of our first, like, all North Bergen concerts. You saw a lot of people.

[Steve Avillo]

Hell, yeah.

[Joey Diaz]

And the second concert I went to where the whole fucking place was. North Bergen was AC DC highway to Hell. With Ted Nugent.

[Steve Avillo]

With Ted Nugent Garden. Yep.

[Joey Diaz]

And I still remember, like, the creepy details from getting on the bus. And 20 kids would be on the. Because that's New York, Lee.

[Lee Syatt]

Okay?

[Joey Diaz]

Big difference. So we would get the Kennedy Boulevard bus, or we would just walk to Union City with liquor and drink and then take the bus by the post office and go right into the fucking city, the Garden, and then walk to the Garden like we own those streets and we were fucking 13.

[Steve Avillo]

Yeah, pretty much.

[Lee Syatt]

What were you drinking at 13? I know that's normal now, but from like, what are you drinking? Like vodka? Are you drinking like.

[Steve Avillo]

Like back in the day it was probably just a lot of beer. Jesus drink beer sometimes.

[Joey Diaz]

You know, they used to show up with a case of Nips, which looks like a fucking Delivery box.

[Lee Syatt]

Now.

[Joey Diaz]

64 bottles, right? It looked like a fucking box. Like, when you walk into somebody's house with a case of nips, you're like, what the fuck are they doing? That's 64 beers, right?

[Steve Avillo]

Yeah.

[Joey Diaz]

Right off the bat, that's 64 fucking beers.

[Lee Syatt]

I don't think I've drank 64 beers.

[Joey Diaz]

And you got like eight animals.

[Steve Avillo]

Pretty much.

[Joey Diaz]

You got like eight fucking animals. And that. That was it. We started with me by my house. You know, I always drank at my mother's bar. Like little shots or. I knew, but I started from scratch. I started with the Boom Swarm. You do the Strawberry Boone Swarm when you get a fucking miserable headache.

[Steve Avillo]

That was a Larry thing. Larry used to drink the Boone Swarm because he didn't think his mother and father could smell it on his breath. I'm like, yeah, okay.

[Lee Syatt]

Hysterical.

[Joey Diaz]

It was the shit we drank. Like, you know what I was thinking about? Vil walking up 46th Street Hill while mixing a cocktail. I can't walk up that motherfucking aisle just walking it. It would be a three day adventure if we had to walk that up now.

[Lee Syatt]

It's that big.

[Steve Avillo]

It's long, but it's steep. It's really steep.

[Lee Syatt]

That sounds terrible.

[Steve Avillo]

So it's.

[Joey Diaz]

You know, when it got cold, we turned around and walked up backwards and you drained the vodka. You drained the Gatorade and you put the vodka right in the Gatorade bottle and you shook that motherfucker and went on the number one bus. Half the time we didn't even have. We would just save on the number one bus. It was 35 cents. We said, fuck it. Why? Why take the bus? Just walk.

[Steve Avillo]

Yep.

[Joey Diaz]

We're walking on fucking vodka juice, you know, Ain't nobody gonna do nothing to us. We're Walking. And then we go up to a place called Fucking Wizards.

[Steve Avillo]

Oh, my God. Wasn't it. That was a.

[Joey Diaz]

A pinball place. Arcade.

[Steve Avillo]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Joey Diaz]

There used to be a pinball place on Kennedy Boulevard there. Like a little pinball place. And that's where all the weird people hung out like kids you never even saw play football. You just saw them at night by the trains, doing creepy things and shit. Nobody you knew hung out at Wizards. It was always kids that glow in the dark. They were a little fucked up.

[Lee Syatt]

I feel like I would have been.

[Joey Diaz]

At Wizards, and people would say, you want something from Wizards? And somebody would go in and come out, listen, we got like, 18 hits of mescaline, even though it was like 20 of us. Like, we run up there with 15 of us and walk in there, and the guy would go, what are you guys doing? We need masculine 15 hits. I got eight. We'll go get seven more. Cause you're light. It was fucking insane.

[Lee Syatt]

Did you ever play pinball? I can't imagine you playing, like, pinball.

[Joey Diaz]

I play cock ball. I play with my balls. I do like Mr. Pac Man.

[Lee Syatt]

Yeah.

[Joey Diaz]

I like Pac man and shit, but I was never really, like, a pinball guy, you know?

[Steve Avillo]

It was the pinball machine. It sold when we were. When we were like, 13 years old. Like, you're in eighth grade, you're in grammar school, you're still playing pinball. That's all they had. They didn't have those things until.

[Joey Diaz]

No race quizzes.

[Steve Avillo]

That's when you had all the. I guess what kids would laugh at now. But what we thought was great.

[Lee Syatt]

I like pinball. Pinball is fun.

[Steve Avillo]

Mr. Pac Man. Ms. Pac Man.

[Joey Diaz]

Ms. Pac man. You know, my mom had the fucking. The bowling thing that you had to spray the thing on and then.

[Steve Avillo]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Joey Diaz]

And they shoot the metal thing and the. The pins go up and stuff. That's what she had at the bar. No pinball machine.

[Steve Avillo]

You just reminded me. You just reminded me of one of the first shows I played with the past masters. We were playing in this dive bar down in Union, New Jersey. And on the side of it, in this alley that was still. The bar had one of those things. And there was four people in the place listening to us play with about three teeth between. Between them all, man. It was hysterical. It was hysterical. But these are the gigs we used to get from our booking agent at the time, you know, affectionately known as Nick the Dick. So. But. Oh, my God. That's what you made me think. You made me think of that. There's this woman dancing around in front of the stage. And I'm just about to sing, and Russell comes up to me and he says, if she doesn't stop dancing around the stage, I'm going to kick her right in the cunt bone.

[Joey Diaz]

Dog. Once you take your band outside of city limits in New Jersey, you don't know what you're gonna run into. You really don't. It's the Addams Family out there.

[Steve Avillo]

Oh, my God, is it?

[Joey Diaz]

And that includes where I live. Like, even that area there. Once you go south from there, it's a different type of Jersey. They wiggle to a different waggle. You know what I'm saying? They're not your usual Jersey people.

[Steve Avillo]

This place was, like, in the middle of nowhere. It was. Oh, man, it was a nightmare. It was a nightmare.

[Joey Diaz]

So we went to see Ted. Now, was that the Garden when we started ripping the chairs out?

[Lee Syatt]

Yeah, like Madison Square Garden.

[Steve Avillo]

Madison Square Garden. You had AC DC was the opening band. And the cool thing about that is where we were sitting, Bon Scott came running down the aisle with Angus Young on his shoulders. And Angus is playing, playing a solo to Whole lotta Rosie, which, you know, that was great. But Ted played unbelievable show. And everybody, nobody would leave. Everybody's calling him back for an encore. So he comes out and plays an old Chuck Berry song, Old Carol. Right? Soon as he starts playing it, chairs start flying in the air. Down in orchestra, metal folding chairs. Jesus Christ, we're breaking them apart. Cause they were, like, held together by, I don't know what the hell, breaking them apart. So you figure, you know, when in Rome, we just start winging these things up in the air. And as you winging them and the thing's building, everybody's kind of backing up, backing up, backing up. By the time the song was over, there was a mountain of chairs in that one section of orchestra.

[Lee Syatt]

Makes Conor McGregor seem not so bad. They're throwing metal chairs. Yeah, that's.

[Joey Diaz]

I remember whipping one and looking in your mind, you hear like. And you're like, oh. And then somebody's like, hey, who threw that? I don't know, some guy up there. Like, I was all scared.

[Steve Avillo]

Yeah, I don't know how it started, but we just all joined in. Everybody joined in. And it's just Chuck. You just saw these things flying up everywhere. That was a fun show. They don't do that anymore. Oh, man, you can't get away with that shit anymore.

[Joey Diaz]

And then the second show I went to see with you guys was an out. It was an outrageous show because I knew nothing about them all. I knew the Stones, some girls was fucking tremendous. And one day, it was kind of nice out. It was April, and you motherfuckers were like, we're chipping in for a fucking eight pack or something. I don't know. And I'm like, what for? You're like, we're going to see a new Barbarians tonight.

[Steve Avillo]

Yeah.

[Joey Diaz]

And I'll never forget, I called Mike Denny the Devil to see if he'd get tickets and shit. He's like, nah, we're just going over to the Scout Bucket. And that was another night where I saw 82,000 North Bergen people there.

[Steve Avillo]

Yeah.

[Joey Diaz]

Yeah, that was a good fucking show.

[Steve Avillo]

That was a great show. I. I had blue sky. See, Remember the blue section up on the top of the garden? And we used to do this all the time, because when you can't really afford much, right? So we're sitting way up in blue. Soon as the lights would go down, we just start hopping over, running down into the orchestra section. That's how yours got down front.

[Joey Diaz]

I went to see yes, and they were so bad, we moved back.

[Lee Syatt]

Wait a second.

[Joey Diaz]

That's the first show we moved back. We got to go. We got to go up to the top. This ain't sounding good no more.

[Steve Avillo]

They had that circular stage.

[Lee Syatt]

Why didn't you just leave?

[Joey Diaz]

No. Yes would come every year, okay? Yes would come to this area here. August 28th, 29th, 30th, September 1st, 2nd, and 3rd. I still remember that. Like, it was like, six nights. They do the Garden, okay? And we. Every year we went, you know, around. And then after, like, the fourth year, you're like, I don't want to see this no more. What am I here for again? Because it only cost you, like, $5. That's the thing that we had the opposite. Like, now, if you want to go see somebody, you got to splurge. 250. I don't want to splurge. 250 fucking anybody. But for a band that I don't know about, and people say they're pretty good, and I heard a couple songs. $5 ain't fucking bad to shoot into the city for, right? If you don't like them, you fucking go home. Yep, that's it.

[Lee Syatt]

Jesus Christ.

[Steve Avillo]

God bless you.

[Joey Diaz]

God bless me. But there was a lot of fucking music, a lot of shows. And what people got to remember is that my mom had just died. So this slipped in to take my mind off of things.

[Steve Avillo]

Yeah.

[Joey Diaz]

And I was full in. Like, I was Fucking yes, you were.

[Steve Avillo]

You were committed.

[Joey Diaz]

I was. I was committed. I was really fucking committed. And I was good till. Well, right before my mom died, we robbed a beer truck and we took it to Chirpy's house and we stole a bottle of vodka and he had Pepman Schnapps. Or it was the other way around. Yeah, he had Pepman Schnapps. His father. And we had vodka and we fucking. We put. It wasn't. And here's the other thing you gotta remember. When you rob one of those beer trucks, you didn't really know what you were getting.

[Steve Avillo]

No, you didn't.

[Joey Diaz]

Because we robbed a case of courts. You know how long it takes to heat, to cool those motherfuckers up in the tub with ice? They're 32 fucking ounces. So we had to sit there for like an hour, like, listening to music. So me and Lebrano made vodka and Pep mishnapps and we fucking put them in the freezer and we got fucking leveled. That was a day. And then we sit there till 3 and walk in the house like nothing happened. Like, hey, how you doing? Good. How was school today? Tremendous. What'd you learn? A ton.

[Lee Syatt]

Wait, how do you not know? What you get isn't it in a.

[Joey Diaz]

You just.

[Steve Avillo]

You just. You're just pulling boxes out of.

[Lee Syatt]

Out of things and there's no labels on them.

[Steve Avillo]

Back then, there's labels like Budweiser, Miller, whatever.

[Lee Syatt]

Okay.

[Steve Avillo]

But you. You'd pull it out and run. So you didn't know exactly what you had, you know, and plus, you know, we were just. We were just doing some of these things for the first time. So we learned as we went. You know, different size boxes mean different things. But the first time we did it, we didn't know. We just pulled shit out of there.

[Joey Diaz]

And we did it by hash ways.

[Steve Avillo]

Yeah.

[Joey Diaz]

Yeah, okay. And then I continued to do it from Albertsons, because. Albertsons, you just walked in there. You walked in with three fucking freshmen and everybody. It was like looting today. You just walked out and see who security chased and whoever they didn't chase, you went into the park. And once you're in the park, fuck you, you're gone. Now it's not North Bergen no more, It's Hudson County. Problem.

[Steve Avillo]

It was easier once we had cars. Once you had a car, you'd pull up and you just hang out the window and you pull them into the car and take off. You know, that was easier.

[Joey Diaz]

Now I still remember my freshman year. Somebody. I don't know who it Wasn't me. Well, somebody went on a fucking tear, and they took like, four cases of Michelob and they hit him in the lockers and by the gym and fucking. You know who came to me. And he's like, I'm calling the cops. I know they're in your lock. But I'm like, listen, you're not gonna open up my fucking locker. Not today. Mr. Lee.

[Steve Avillo]

Oh, boy.

[Joey Diaz]

Mr. Lee and me got neck to neck. He's like, I'm opening up that locker. I said, dog, I'm telling you, you're not opening that fucking locker.

[Steve Avillo]

He was tough as nails.

[Joey Diaz]

Bring a cop. Bring whoever the fuck you want. And I had nothing in my locker. It was just a point, like, you ain't going in my fucking locker. Not today. Maybe tomorrow. Maybe tomorrow, but not today. Not with your attitude. And he hated me after that. We hated each other.

[Lee Syatt]

You didn't go in the locker.

[Joey Diaz]

I got a bump because the athletic department was there. The athletic department used to be there. Yeah, it was right there, two doors down. And I think Randy Shay was in there with somebody else.

[Steve Avillo]

Randy shaves off.

[Joey Diaz]

I'm like, randy, come out here. Let's see what the. Is really going on here. Yeah, because Randy Shave liked me. So that's the only. That's why I didn't open up the fucking lockup. And I think I took business law at the time. And I remember that. If I remember.

[Steve Avillo]

Why can't I picture this?

[Joey Diaz]

Business law was right there, too. It was like 8th or 9th period by the door. And I remember the girl that was in the class with me, she had given a bunch of blowjobs or something. And they said she used to shake. They said she used to shake when she gave blowjobs my junior year. I don't fucking know.

[Lee Syatt]

Her whole body would shake.

[Joey Diaz]

Yeah, like, shake and shit. So I don't know. But they said that in there, that if you get something in your mailbox, it doesn't belong to you. Just because this is your mailbox, it's your property, it belongs to you. So after that, I started stealing my own Social Security checks and shit. You know what I'm saying? Like, the government sent me two checks one time by mistake, and I stole them both. They're not gonna get me now. 1980. What are they gonna do to me now?

[Steve Avillo]

They might. Now that you're broadcasting it.

[Joey Diaz]

No. Who gives a fuck? I broadcast a lot of things.

[Lee Syatt]

I was gonna say, I think they got a list to go.

[Joey Diaz]

They were gonna get me. They would have got me.

[Steve Avillo]

They Would have had you by now. Yeah, they would have had you by now.

[Lee Syatt]

Like, how many people Steve were like Joey back then, like. Or was he like as unique as he is now?

[Steve Avillo]

No, there's something in the water in that town. Something in the water. There's a lot of crazy, crazy people. Some crazier than others. Some, you know, some special.

[Joey Diaz]

Very, very.

[Steve Avillo]

But yeah, there's definitely everybody. And the thing is about the same thing about that town with the stuff that's in the water, so to speak, right? You run into people you haven't seen in 20 years. And it's like you haven't missed a day. It's. It's. As my cousin actually said it, he called, he goes, it's my daughters called North Bergen a cult. They call it a cult. He says, you're not a cult, you're a tribe. Now that makes sense to me.

[Joey Diaz]

It's a very weird thing. But I have been, you know, I've studied two things in my life really hard. And one is the Comedy Store.

[Steve Avillo]

Yeah.

[Joey Diaz]

And I finally came to a conclusion that the skies had like a little beam coming down. And put all those funny people together at one time, you know? And then I have my thoughts about North Bergen and I think. And it's been like. It's been like a 30 year struggle when I learned things without learning them. Like when I watched the Sinatra documentary on HBO years ago, they told you that at that time the Irish didn't let the Italian go up past 9th Street. And that stuck with those people. And I've said this. When Barone was on here. When you look at the core of the North Bergen families, they're all Hoboken. They all had to walk through Hoboken. They just didn't pop up in North Bergen. 60% of those people walked through fucking Hoboken. And then I still remember the finals at the Meadowlands where we had these short little plug Italian guys and they're pushing these black guys around and these fucking white kids like they were nothing. And I'm like, there's something here. I don't know what it is. And then my mother died. And it opened up a complete different treasure chest that was right here in North Bergen. You know what I'm saying?

[Steve Avillo]

Yeah, I do.

[Joey Diaz]

So when you look at North Bergen from a distance, you go, what a fucking dump. But it had everything at that time. It raised us. We would learn to. We learned to raise ourselves. We were out till two in the morning. I mean, there's a comedian, Brett Ernst, that does a Joke about when you live in Jersey that all you gotta do is go out after midnight and there's always one motherfucker out. Hey, how you doing? Don't you have a house? No. No. There was eight kids like that in North Bergen. Every park had a kid that would. If you just walk past, you hear, psst, psst. And you're like, what's going on? We got a party here. There's a chick behind the weeds. We gotta eat it. You're like, I didn't even know this existed. You know? You didn't even know. You thought you were going home. You told your mom, I'm coming home. And next thing you know, as you get to your block, a car picks you up and they're like, we're going to the city. You're coming. I was going home. I got homework. Come on, let's go. We're gonna go eat or something. And next thing you know, you're coming home at 2 in the morning. And on the way there, something happened. You hit somebody with a car. Something happened, you know, so you got a story. I mean, it was just superb. Like, I was walking around those hills wounded, wounded. You know, I was an orphan. I'm walking those hills wounded. And those are hills, motherfuckers. Okay? Those are fucking hills. And I still always had somewhere to be, somewhere to go.

[Steve Avillo]

Yeah, now you did. Special place.

[Lee Syatt]

Why do you think New Jersey has such a bad rap? Like, outside of New Jersey, like, do you agree with it or does it make you feel bad?

[Joey Diaz]

Listen, there's been bad rap between everybody for 30 fucking years. And at the end, we're all the same. It's all the same kind of mentalities just wrapped up just, you know, it's. It's an east coast mentality to have this in Philly, right when you go to Philadelphia, it's pretty. Those people, fucking out of their minds too.

[Lee Syatt]

They really. I just feel like. Especially like in New York. I feel like New Jersey has a. Like everyone's like, ooh, Jersey. I don't know, maybe you guys don't feel that way.

[Steve Avillo]

Fuck em.

[Joey Diaz]

I've never had a problem being from Jersey.

[Steve Avillo]

Me either.

[Joey Diaz]

Because I knew what I got out of here. I knew what I got out of here was a master's degree in fucking political science. Crime. How to wake up in the morning with no money and have $50 by lunchtime. This is an education here. How to call somebody and say, I need a job, and a day later you're fucking working. You know? This is an education. We Were growing up. It really was. You know, I look at. He's family. He's a brother to me. Like he's my brother, you know, he's blood. Like we know each other that long. We breathe each other's air that long. What we're doing now we did in his backyard 40 years ago. And there was no fucking heat. No, there was no fucking heat. We come back there, there's no heat. A set of drums, some fucking curtain.

[Steve Avillo]

Yeah.

[Joey Diaz]

Beer. And some guy rolling fucking joints. And that's it. And everybody got along. We've been doing this for fucking years. Just nothing changed. The only thing we did was put our jackets on and go to a diner or something. To go to the one on Tunnel.

[Steve Avillo]

Collins, Collins, Collins, Collins Diner.

[Joey Diaz]

That's it. Nothing's changed. These streets are the same. I love when I go. I bitch about where I grew up and giving that terrace because they haven't done a fucking thing down there since my mother died. But then I go up Kennedy Avenue and I see Sal's and I see the old. The biker place, which is Vienna's hamburger joint.

[Steve Avillo]

Now that used to be the Old Mill.

[Joey Diaz]

The Old Mill, all that shit. That was a weird neighborhood when we were fucking kids. Oh, hell yeah, that was a weird little fucking neighborhood. There was a bank there, a drive through Bank. There was Fisher, whatever, the stereo spot. And across the street were these buildings and they had little trees. All right? Now I discovered those buildings in 78. I used to buy drugs in there. I still remember the kid's name. And then he moved up to cocaine and then he got thrown out of there. But it doesn't matter. We've been lurking in those apartment buildings for years. You know which ones I'm talking about?

[Steve Avillo]

Yeah.

[Joey Diaz]

And I remember one night. It's got to be three in the fucking morning again. Another Nutbergen story. Three in the fucking morning. I'm walking home and who do I see under the tree but Bedee, Quintero and Kruger. Because it was light raining out, and they're drinking a beer and they got an eight pack on the floor. It's 2:30 in the morning. Both of them are in high school, okay? Both of them in high school. I walk up to him. What's up, guys? None. You want a beer, Coach? Yeah, blah, blah, blah. All of a sudden, out of nowhere, it started fucking raining hard. And we had to go under the building. And the guy had a bathroom window there, right? And 10 minutes in, the guy's got to raise his hand. Excuse me, can you go Away from my window. You guys are laughing too hard out there. And we're like, fuck you. And he slammed the window. And Kruger just put his hand through the fucking windows. Jesus. Then we ran away. That's it. Three in the morning. Like nothing happened. But that little neighborhood used to be a hopping neighborhood. And I had a way. I only lived. Even after my mom died, I only lived, what, seven minutes from your house?

[Steve Avillo]

Yeah.

[Joey Diaz]

And there's times I would pass out in the garage and Steve would leave me out there.

[Steve Avillo]

Oh, God.

[Joey Diaz]

And I remember one night, walking home all fucked up, and there was a possum. It had to be this fucking big. He jumped from one tree to another, and he was hanging like a gorilla. And I just shot down that street. I'm like, this motherfucker's gonna kill me. He's gonna kill me.

[Lee Syatt]

And you would come out in the morning. He'd just be there. Or you knew he passed out.

[Joey Diaz]

No, we leave. Like, he'd say it, I've had enough. He'd leave us out there with three people or something like that.

[Steve Avillo]

Yeah, he had enough.

[Joey Diaz]

11:30.

[Steve Avillo]

All I would do is.

[Joey Diaz]

I was an A student.

[Steve Avillo]

I basically go, yeah.

[Joey Diaz]

And we got to bed a bunch of losers. Get them out.

[Steve Avillo]

Keep it down.

[Lee Syatt]

What would your parents say?

[Steve Avillo]

Oh, my. Well, my dad died when I was young. My mom. My mom was happy to know that we weren't out somewhere else.

[Lee Syatt]

I don't think that exists anymore.

[Steve Avillo]

No. Because now if, you know, people drinking at your house, you get arrested.

[Lee Syatt]

Right.

[Steve Avillo]

So they, you know. Don't get me started.

[Joey Diaz]

I still remember walking into your shed one day and there was like four fucking knuckleheads. And they were breaking glass and shit to eat it.

[Steve Avillo]

Yeah. Yeah, that was my brother and folk and.

[Joey Diaz]

No, I think it was younger guys.

[Steve Avillo]

Oh, no, it was them.

[Joey Diaz]

Because there was a time in North Bergen where people wanted to eat shit.

[Steve Avillo]

Yeah. Mice, glass.

[Joey Diaz]

Glass. Metal.

[Steve Avillo]

Cloudy. And those guys used to bob for crabs. They'd put crabs in a, you know, bowl, pot, whatever the hell you want doing. They used to bob for crabs, you know, Come up with a crab hanging on their lip, their ear, their nose. I mean, talk about crazy.

[Lee Syatt]

I was in until this part. What are you eating? Glass. How often? How many pieces of glass can you eat?

[Steve Avillo]

I never did it.

[Lee Syatt]

You never ate?

[Joey Diaz]

Somebody went on Dave Letterman and ate a bicycle. And these motherfuckers thought they could do it. You know, it only takes a Jersey guy to go, you know what? I could do that. And it was in our neighborhood, so it was Somebody around here that started eating metal. But I strictly remember one night towards the holidays, they were fucking a table, and they're breaking things, and they're, like, eating little things. And uptown was eating fucking mice and glass.

[Steve Avillo]

They would bite the top of a bottle off. That's what they would do. Look how serious you got. They would. You know, I still remember that you bite the top. That was folk. Folk. And, you know, my brothers, do you.

[Joey Diaz]

Know what made us special? Like, do you know what really? Like? All right, we had a bunch of characters. You had your brother's characters. We had Dee Dee. We had lubes. We had fucking heavyweight. We had Darren Rago, God bless his soul, and that dude. I still remember doing crazy shit with him freshman year. But I always think about that. Like, people go, you know, was your town really funny? And I go, bro, everybody was funny in North Bergen, okay, at that time. But the people who made it funnier were the people that were around us as satellites. You're like, joey, I don't get it. I eat Nick's pizza. I eat Phil Sims, the cop that looked like the football coach fucking. In high school, we had certain teachers that it was always a fucking party. When you saw Mr. Parmisano would jump up and down and buongiorno.

[Steve Avillo]

Said, yeah.

[Joey Diaz]

And you go, what the fuck? You know, it was. Who did we have downtown? We had somebody that we would bust his balls downtown. We always had some Sal, obviously, with the liquor store salute. Said, no, you're not. You know all that.

[Steve Avillo]

Yeah, it was Shaolin. Vito, Vito, break his balls.

[Joey Diaz]

It was the characters around us that really brought. Like, when I think of childhood, if I would have got a TV show, I would have wrote Nick in.

[Steve Avillo]

You have to write Nick in.

[Joey Diaz]

Nick was the most craziest pizza place you could have close to a high school ever. Like, that should not have been allowed because not only was it Knicks, but I still remember Corky's being next door. Oh, God. And as a kid, you shouldn't be saying that shit. What?

[Lee Syatt]

Was it allowed? Or did people just not know what was what allowed? Well, I mean, so two things I know about Nick's, or the two stories that come to mind are the flies lying in it, the facility. And then you would both sell him jewelry and then steal it back to sell to him again.

[Joey Diaz]

And then sell it to him.

[Lee Syatt]

I don't think that was. I don't think that was in the menu that he bought stolen jewelry.

[Steve Avillo]

Yeah.

[Joey Diaz]

In 1979, these fucking knuckleheads decide to go on a. We're drinking every night while the. While the hostages are in captivity.

[Lee Syatt]

Well, that was nice of you.

[Joey Diaz]

And I ran. Do you remember that, Jim?

[Steve Avillo]

Yeah, yeah.

[Joey Diaz]

And the big topic was Khomeini or something like that. And I guess.

[Steve Avillo]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So for football season, I want. I wanted. I grew a beard. And it was like a beard mostly under here, you know, you could grow at like 16 years old. I shave my head and I come walking into the pizzeria and he goes, holy shit, it's fucking Khomeini. Khomeini. He couldn't say to k. It's fucking Khomeini. So it's a funny thing is, you know, I was married with kids. I went back in there again. This is before he sold it. I walked back in just to see if he was there. And I was there with my wife and my kids. And I walk in, he goes homeini. Swear to God, he picked me out like that.

[Joey Diaz]

What a good dude. He was the best.

[Steve Avillo]

He was the best.

[Joey Diaz]

I was there the night when he started yelling at somebody and they opened up the cheese and the pep and they threw it at him and shit. He was pissed. He's like, go, go look at these animals. And then about shortly later, I went in on a quaalude one night. I had puke all over me and shit. They were trying to feed me. And the next day he would see me and go, belushi. He would call me Belushi. So that was my name for fucking forever. Belushi. You fucked up. And then one night I saw him outside of. We were smoking hash outside of. I can't. Fernie's car. God rest his soul. We were smoking. I'm in the front seat and Nick, what's going on tonight? He's like, nothing. Quiet. I go, nick, come here. He comes over to the car and we're smoking. I go, nick, you want to hit? And he goes. And then he looks around, he goes, give me more. And that was it. I didn't see him after that. About a week later, I saw him. Belushi, what the fuck you give me? I smoke a lot of hajj growing up, but that shit, Doug, he used to torture us, but we used to lay into him too. My favorite was veneeri because the iced tea.

[Steve Avillo]

Oh, God, yeah.

[Joey Diaz]

Was 5 cents cheaper at Hashways. So Vanieri would cross the street and Nick would be talking to you, like, having a great conversation, like, yeah, Nick, you're a grandfather. And all of a sudden he goes, where fucking Benini? And we Go. He went across the street, dog. He would throw that counter up and go out there. And Benini'd just be making the corner. He'd go, vanini, you fucking Jew.

[Steve Avillo]

Oh, God. But you remember you suck too.

[Joey Diaz]

Suck, Jew. He would yell that in broad daylight. And then you had a fucking bar next to it that was owned by a car salesman. One of the best in the city. Where people don't know. He was like known in the city for selling cars. He was like the top. Corky. Yeah.

[Steve Avillo]

I had no idea.

[Joey Diaz]

Manhattan, Honda going there now they still have a wall of. Fucking Corky, that motherfucker.

[Steve Avillo]

Did he have like a crazy eye or something? You looked at him, it looked like his one eye was never focusing on you.

[Joey Diaz]

Crazy everything. You know, I still remember being like 15 and being at there at 3 and people coming out of there with blood on them. Yeah, people hammered. People eating quaaludes, like people on cars. And you're like, man, I can't wait to go in there.

[Steve Avillo]

That place was a bucket of blood for sure.

[Joey Diaz]

That was.

[Steve Avillo]

I'm telling you, the pool table in there, that's what. That's where all the fights came from. People breaking cues over people's heads. And it was a nutty, nutty, nutty, nutty place, dog.

[Joey Diaz]

And then by the time we got that, like, once we started getting older, they changed it from Tom and Corky's to the best to Gregory's seven Day Weekend.

[Lee Syatt]

Who the was Gregory Corky?

[Steve Avillo]

It was upscale now.

[Lee Syatt]

Oh, okay.

[Joey Diaz]

And he would answer the phone. Corky's the best bar in northern New Jersey. And he had the loudest. The. The jukebox. That was his pride and joy, that he was really fucking loud in there. And we go in there, dog, and it was just like he didn't let us in till we were 18. Like he held us to the fucking letter.

[Lee Syatt]

Wasn't he supposed to make you wait till you're 21?

[Joey Diaz]

No, it was 18 then.

[Lee Syatt]

Oh, it was okay.

[Steve Avillo]

Yeah, it was 18 that a year later it jumped to 19, and then two years later it was 21. Fuck yeah.

[Joey Diaz]

Do you know, I still laugh about a villas that people would never understand.

[Steve Avillo]

What's that?

[Joey Diaz]

The dude up the corner from the cemetery by my house. They used to sell the coldest beer in North Bergen and used to bang on the door and he'd be sleeping on the pool table.

[Steve Avillo]

That beer was fucking cold though.

[Joey Diaz]

Huh?

[Steve Avillo]

That beer was fucking cold though.

[Joey Diaz]

I remember we drank it all the way down the shore one time. It was still fucking frozen you could knock on his door at 4 in the morning. 4 in the morning. What was his name?

[Steve Avillo]

Ah, God, I don't remember.

[Joey Diaz]

Jesus Christ.

[Steve Avillo]

I'm sorry.

[Joey Diaz]

He had a little bar there. It was just a little bar. And it was the people from the projects. Creepy people, like at least Puerto Ricans go out into Union City. These people just glared at those projects there and they would only go to that bar. There was some creepy bars in North Bergen. That was that one you had, the COVID with the owner who had the bad wig by Fernie's house. The strip club. It smelt so bad in there. I remember I fingered a woman in there once. I had to wash my hand for three days straight. It was horrible. It was horrible.

[Lee Syatt]

And this was a strip club.

[Joey Diaz]

That strip club right on. Right down the corner from Maguire Chevrolet Surf. If you're on. This is Maguire Chevrolet. And you can take it all the way down. If you hit Bergen Line, you went too far.

[Steve Avillo]

That was 70th Street.

[Joey Diaz]

Yeah, two blocks in, like, in the corner. There was only open Thursdays, Fridays and Saturdays. And the owner had a horrible fucking wig. And you went in there. He come over like a gangster. Listen, this is my plate. Listen. Get out of here. I think somebody said something to him once.

[Steve Avillo]

Roger, what was that other real slimy place on the boulevard downtown? Buffs or something like that.

[Joey Diaz]

Where was Buffs?

[Steve Avillo]

Buffs was on the boulevard, but I don't remember what street.

[Joey Diaz]

Okay. Buffs was pastor. The stadium.

[Steve Avillo]

So it was down like in the. In the 18 teens. Upper teens.

[Joey Diaz]

19. I remember going to Buffs. It was no big deal.

[Steve Avillo]

No, it was just another slimy place.

[Joey Diaz]

I didn't. You know, at that time, I don't know, we weren't even into Striplers. That was not our fucking thing. We went to drinking, getting fucked up and listening to fucking music. That was it.

[Steve Avillo]

Yeah.

[Joey Diaz]

He turned me onto the who. Quadrophenia. He turned me on to some fucking good albums, man. The Kinks, Lola versus Superman.

[Steve Avillo]

Power man.

[Joey Diaz]

Power man.

[Steve Avillo]

Get it straight, brother. Get it straight.

[Joey Diaz]

I was hanging with you when Low Budget came out.

[Steve Avillo]

Yeah.

[Joey Diaz]

You turned me on to Joe Jay Giggles.

[Steve Avillo]

Jay Giggles.

[Joey Diaz]

That was our war. Always growing up. Fuck you and Jay Giggles.

[Lee Syatt]

You don't like Jay Eagles?

[Steve Avillo]

Let me tell you something. I saw them. I saw them. Years and years later, they reunited for a tour. And I saw them at the art center. Had third row, two and a half hours nonstop. They were unbelievable. And he giggled the whole time. You look at me.

[Joey Diaz]

He was married to Faye Dunaway.

[Steve Avillo]

No.

[Joey Diaz]

Yeah.

[Steve Avillo]

Was he.

[Joey Diaz]

The singer.

[Steve Avillo]

Peter Wolf.

[Joey Diaz]

Peter Wolf was married to somebody for.

[Steve Avillo]

A while, Faye Dunaway. Who would have thunk.

[Lee Syatt]

Do you think you would have liked music without Steve, like, or, like, did you like it at all or where?

[Joey Diaz]

I love music. I love music, okay? But I come from a heavy. Led Zeppelin. Led Zeppelin, Rolling Stone, you know, And Steve, like, I had. I liked the who, but I didn't.

[Steve Avillo]

Think I turned you on to Floyd, too, at the time.

[Joey Diaz]

Yes, you turned me on to animals.

[Steve Avillo]

Yeah.

[Joey Diaz]

Which I will be eternally grateful for because I even had it on last week.

[Steve Avillo]

That's still my favorite Floyd.

[Lee Syatt]

Is it the one with the airplanes?

[Joey Diaz]

No, that's the one with the dogs that used to say.

[Steve Avillo]

If you look at it, it's got a factory and a pig flying over it on the COVID And what's the.

[Lee Syatt]

What's the one where it's like airplanes and they shoot guns? He used to put it on.

[Steve Avillo]

That's the wall.

[Lee Syatt]

Oh, that's okay. Jesus Christ.

[Joey Diaz]

Before we get into that story real quick, I'm gonna come to you. We got a couple ads to read. Give us three minutes, we'll be back, and then we'll finish up this fucking masterpiece of a story here. We'll be right back. What's happening? Uncle Joey here for DraftKings, I got together with DraftKings again. Listen, make the most of the playoffs with DraftKings Sportsbook, an official sports betting partner of the NFL. It's easy, and it's a fun way to get started with sports betting, even if you've never done it before. Listen, you got to jump off the cliff once. You know what I'm saying? New DraftKings customers can even bet $5 to get ready. 200 in bonus bets instantly. Now, that's a good deal. Have fun watching a big game and even make a buck or two with DraftKings. Listen, next week, and we got everything. We got football, we got college, everything's going down. If it's going to go down, it's going to go down this weekend. Then the president is on Monday. So download the DraftKings sportsbook app. Press in code Joey J, O, E Y. Again, that's code Joey for new customers to get 200 in bonus bets instantly when you bet $5. That's it. Only on DraftKings sportsbook, where you're the king, Jack. Gambling problem, call 1-800- GAMBLER in New York.

[Steve Avillo]

Call 877-8-HOPENY or text hopeny467-369 in Connecticut. Help is available for problem gambling. Call 888-7-89-7777 or visit ccpg.org Please play responsibly on behalf of Boot Hill Casino and resort in Kansas, 21 and over. Age and eligibility varies by jurisdiction.

[Joey Diaz]

Void. In Ontario, bonus bets expire 168 hours.

[Steve Avillo]

After issuance for additional terms and responsible gaming resources.

[Joey Diaz]

Uncle Joey here. I want to talk to you about something nicked when you need a nicotine break, which you all do. Make it worth it with Nick Nicotine Pouches. Nick is made with natural coconut fiber filling instead of that old chipped wood like the other guys. And the flavors will knock your socks off. You ready? They got crisp mint, tremendous berry, lemon ice, tremendous strawberry, tremendous watermelon ice. We'll put a pep in your step and a bunch of other ones. Listen, you know me. I don't chew a lot, but when I chew, I'm with Nick Jack. I put it under my tongue. It comes in three sixes of 12. I started with three, just to, you know, make my shoulders wiggle a little bit. So you can decide if you want a little kick or a little kick in the face. Kick it, mule. Make the switch to nick nicotine pouches today. Right now. Church family gets 35% off. What did I say? 35% off. What did I says? 35% off. When you order nickpouches.com church c h u R C H. Use that code up to three times. Who's rolling like Uncle Joey? Nobody. Don't wait. Get 35% off your first pre orders at nickedpouches.com church that's nicked. N Y K D Bam pouches.com church nicked products are only for adults of legal age. So if you're under 18, under 21, I don't know, go drink some tea. You know what I'm saying? Warning. The product contains nicotine. Nicotine is an addictive chemical. We're back, bitches. Nice and warm down here in the fucking. The dungeon of death. Talking to Lee. And you're right, Lee.

[Lee Syatt]

I'm great.

[Joey Diaz]

All right. Those edibles hit you a little bit?

[Lee Syatt]

They're starting a little bit.

[Joey Diaz]

Okay.

[Lee Syatt]

What do you mean? You can't give them to me and then make fun of me for it.

[Joey Diaz]

I'm not making fun of you. Just been sitting there a little crazy. Look, there's a little bit of loops in him.

[Steve Avillo]

You know that?

[Joey Diaz]

What happened?

[Steve Avillo]

A little bit of lubes in him. You know, you hear that for years.

[Joey Diaz]

I say it, I see it. So one thing that I wanted to talk to you about that's important to music that you saw. And I learned it from you. We were there to watch it. You, your brothers, you all got tickets to go see Ted and Leonard Skynyrd.

[Steve Avillo]

Ah, Lynyrd Skynyrd, actually. That was. Right. The crash happened right before.

[Joey Diaz]

Right before. But you had tickets, all you guys?

[Steve Avillo]

Yeah, yeah.

[Joey Diaz]

You and your brothers had tickets and the crash happened. And Leonard Skinny was on top of their fucking world at the time.

[Steve Avillo]

Yeah.

[Joey Diaz]

And I always said this Leonard Skinner was on top of the world, but by a fucking margin at that time, they had just cleared the field. They were like, you know what? Fuck you, motherfuckers. They die. We were freshmen that year.

[Steve Avillo]

Yeah, I think it was 70. It was either. Yeah, it was 77. 78.

[Joey Diaz]

78 refreshment, maybe. Yeah, maybe so. And all of a sudden we. This new album came out, this new band, and they were great. They were called the Cars. And we all like the Cars. And. And then another band came out that now I'm too high to even think of the name, but, like, three bands came out. And I've always said to myself, if Leonard Skinnard wouldn't have died, all that would. They would have. First off, Southern rock, like, at that time, we had Molly Hatchet, we had a bunch of savages.

[Steve Avillo]

Like, not this shit.

[Joey Diaz]

Good looking. Nah. We had guys missing teeth, fucking liver problems, you know, but these motherfuckers are dropping it on you. They weren't the best looking guys in the world, you know. Leonard Skinny never won a beauty contest, you know what I'm saying?

[Lee Syatt]

For the listeners who don't know what they look like, how would you describe what Leonard's gonna look like?

[Joey Diaz]

It doesn't really fucking matter. What I'm trying to say is that now country music, you got bows, you got curls, you got muscles. You know, those dudes didn't have a muscle. Only in their finger. Okay, that's it. To shoot heroin and to trickle a fucking guitar. That's it. And to open the fucking Budweiser can. So, you know, could you imagine if Leonard Skynyrd wouldn't have died there? Wouldn't that come back to metal? That came back in 80.

[Steve Avillo]

Wouldn't have happened.

[Joey Diaz]

That wouldn't have happened.

[Steve Avillo]

Probably not. Probably not.

[Joey Diaz]

That's crazy.

[Steve Avillo]

Yeah.

[Joey Diaz]

And then, thank God the Cars lasted. They came out with a banger in 79, candy. On the second album.

[Steve Avillo]

Yes.

[Joey Diaz]

But we were all gearing up for something and it was. I never saw anything like this in my life. You know, I had been turned on to everybody Else, like Pink Floyd, Dark side of the Moon. And you buy the album, you bring it home, you do a hit of acid, you trip, you wake up with bubblegum on your shoulder and you go, that was fucking fun. You know, that was it. And I loved money and all that shit. And then I think the second album I got into was Wish youh Were Here.

[Steve Avillo]

Yeah.

[Joey Diaz]

And then one day in your shed, you started playing animals and pigs. And I remember the first time I heard dogs, I just cried. It's the story of life. We used to say it all the time.

[Steve Avillo]

It is.

[Joey Diaz]

Whenever I get confused, I put dogs on, and it sets me the fuck straight. You got to be crazy. You got to have a real need. You got to sleep on your toes when you're on the street. You got to be able to pick out the easy meat with your eyes closed, End the fucking story on a daily. If that's not in the back of your mind when you leave the house, shoot yourself. Because that's basically what it is. Shoot yourself. That's not in the back of you. Like, if you're leaving out, like, oh, my God, shoot yourself. That's it. All those years when I used to get up angry and somebody got robbed. That's why I left the house in my mind. Listening to Somebody's Going down today. Somebody's got their lunch money in my pocket, and I want it.

[Lee Syatt]

That's.

[Joey Diaz]

Anyway, I get all emotional.

[Steve Avillo]

Yeah, I could see that.

[Joey Diaz]

Starts coming out.

[Steve Avillo]

I'm scared now.

[Joey Diaz]

I know. I know. But then it was really funny. Led Zeppelin came out with their album in 79.

[Steve Avillo]

In through the Outdoor.

[Joey Diaz]

In through the Outdoor, which was a fucking flop.

[Steve Avillo]

Yeah. But I heard into the evening tv couple of Diesel. I found out why Southbound Soiree is my favorite on outdoor.

[Joey Diaz]

You know why? The album bombed. Did you see? Did you read why years later, no Page never showed up. Never showed up. He was on heroin.

[Steve Avillo]

Oh, God.

[Joey Diaz]

Yeah.

[Steve Avillo]

He was in a bad place.

[Joey Diaz]

And then you throw on. When they did the festival in 79 Nebworth. Throw that on when they do Achilles Last Stand. He's just a bone. The heroin. The heroin is eating him alive.

[Steve Avillo]

You're like, oh, my God.

[Joey Diaz]

This. These are real musicians. Not these Okie doke that jump around today with a tattoo on their ankle. Look how cool I am. Get the out of here. So then we witnessed something else. So Led Zeppelin came out, and then we were all waiting for that tour. And that motherfucker drank too much. And that was the end of that.

[Steve Avillo]

He drank himself to death. Yeah.

[Joey Diaz]

I was at Muffin Joe's when I found that.

[Lee Syatt]

Really?

[Steve Avillo]

I remember that place.

[Joey Diaz]

I was at Moffin Joe's eating a fucking ham and egg on a roll, talking to Joe about something, whoever the fuck knows. And I was there and it was a Saturday. I was fucking heartbroken. Like, my chance to see Led Zeppelin is dead. Like, I'm never gonna od. You know what I'm saying? I was playing on OD and it Led Zeppelin the second night or something. That's when we used to have to get four tickets. Had a shot, you had to mail them in. Mail them in. Four tickets.

[Steve Avillo]

You have to mail them in.

[Joey Diaz]

So you sent four, he sent four. Me, George, Tricky Nick. And next thing you know, fucking only two of us got chosen. But we all going to the concert. Bitch. Then. That was a fun fucking. Like, we were on a tear. We started on the Te Vils that April we went to.

[Steve Avillo]

Wow.

[Joey Diaz]

There was a group in school that was the Gourmet Club.

[Steve Avillo]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Joey Diaz]

And on Sundays, one Sunday a month, they took you somewhere to eat and you had to act like. And it was supposed to be like juniors and seniors, but I don't know how. We got on the bus, right? And we got on the bus, it rained. We went to Chinatown or something. And they took us back to Mr. Paloute's house.

[Steve Avillo]

Oh, God.

[Joey Diaz]

God rest his soul. And all of a sudden we're like, paloo, what's going on downstairs? He's like, nothing. It's just a basement called look or something. And we went down there and we found some albums or something. Next thing you know, somebody went for beer.

[Steve Avillo]

Yeah.

[Joey Diaz]

And they came back with a figure.

[Steve Avillo]

These are our coaches and teachers and stuff. They wind up coming downstairs. We got like cases and cases of beer.

[Joey Diaz]

Oh, my God. We left at 8:00 after 60 minutes, dog. That's how embarrassing that was. We got there at 12, we're in the guy's basement drinking. They're upstairs like, oh, my God, how.

[Steve Avillo]

Do we get rid of these kids?

[Joey Diaz]

That was right after the New Barbarians. And we were just on a tear.

[Steve Avillo]

Yeah.

[Joey Diaz]

You know, everybody was doing their own thing. I was downtown, but I would come up at night. John Acosti would have parties every fucking once a week and shit. Tremendous. And then I went to the hospital and my mom punched a ticket. And when I got out, when everything. When the smoke cleared, I remember, like, I was in your house like a week after my mom died. We were talking about some. And you're like, the fucking wall comes out in two Weeks.

[Steve Avillo]

Yeah.

[Joey Diaz]

And that's when it started, guys. That was fucking insane. I think it came out the day after Thanksgiving, something like that.

[Steve Avillo]

I just remember, like, you would hear on the radio, like, Pink Floyd's new album. Da da da. You know, little sound bite here, a little sound bite there. But there was this huge buildup.

[Joey Diaz]

There was a buildup, too.

[Steve Avillo]

You know, a new album came out from, like, a big artist like that.

[Joey Diaz]

So we were going into the holidays with fucking Pink Floyd with a new fucking album. Everybody was fired up. And then you motherfuckers drop a bomb on me one night. Are you coming to get Pink Floyd tickets with me tomorrow?

[Steve Avillo]

Yeah.

[Joey Diaz]

And that started, like, at night. Like at 11:30 at night. We were all gonna go get Pink Floyd tickets, but it was just hearsay. The morning when the smoke cleared, it was me, lubes, you and Joe Focaracho.

[Steve Avillo]

In the Green Monster.

[Joey Diaz]

In the Green Monster. Okay.

[Lee Syatt]

I'm guessing that was the car.

[Joey Diaz]

Oh, my God.

[Steve Avillo]

Yeah. Yeah, it was the car.

[Joey Diaz]

I'm in the back seat behind folk, and he's driving. He's a little excited. We're like, on the 46 or the 17 or something. We're on a real fucking highway.

[Steve Avillo]

Yeah.

[Joey Diaz]

And he's all excited. All of a sudden, you hear boom. And you see a fucking. He hit one of those right away.

[Steve Avillo]

He hit something, has a cone or something like that.

[Joey Diaz]

And then we went to Paramus, maybe.

[Steve Avillo]

I think it was Paramus because that's where. That's where the Ticketmaster was. Yeah.

[Joey Diaz]

And then we ended up at St. Peter's Prep.

[Steve Avillo]

Yeah. We had to go down to Jersey City because we were going down the boulevard when he. When he dropped the. The ashes on his chest, and he's, like, trying to put himself out, and the car is doing this on the freaking car.

[Joey Diaz]

Oh, my God. Oh, my God. I didn't want to say nothing. I didn't even want to say nothing.

[Steve Avillo]

I'm sorry.

[Joey Diaz]

Oh, my God.

[Steve Avillo]

I blew it.

[Joey Diaz]

No, Like, I didn't want to. I didn't even want to bring up that the cherry hit his shirt because it's so. People go, oh, it's such a bullshit story. But the cherry really did his. He was so excited. He kept talking, was in the back, and all of a sudden he's like. And he's hitting his shirt, and I don't know, he's hitting things. It was just. It was just superb. And we didn't stop. Like, that holiday was rough for me, and. But then these opened up the year with. We're having the island of Insanity party. Oh, God, yeah. And I'm like, what? And they're like, yeah, we go to Hudson county, it freezes over. And we walk over the puddle and we fucking have a party on the island. I'm like, I'm not going for this shit. And it was cold.

[Steve Avillo]

Yeah, it was cold. Cold didn't bother us back then. It was cold, didn't bother us.

[Joey Diaz]

And I ate a Quaalude.

[Steve Avillo]

Well, maybe it bothered you.

[Joey Diaz]

I ate a Quaalude with Lubes and folks. And we had to get off the island. And we ended up walking to the Wing Fong Chinese restaurant.

[Steve Avillo]

I remember the Wing Fong.

[Joey Diaz]

And we sitting there, and it's me and Luz on this side.

[Steve Avillo]

I think I know this one.

[Joey Diaz]

We were too high to dine and dash. Like they were waiting for us to dine and dash. I kept telling the guy, no, no, no, no, no, we paid tonight. No running. Ain't nobody gonna run it tonight. I'll never forget. Me and Lubes are having a conversation and Folk just falls asleep in the pork fried rice.

[Lee Syatt]

Oh, no.

[Joey Diaz]

And he's breathing. You can see the fucking thing. And we're like. And we're like trying to fucking. At that point, we don't even give a fuck. And Chirpy's like, lubes, Falk. Folk get up and when he got up, he looked up and a bunch of rice came out of his mouth. And we were like, yes, oh, my.

[Steve Avillo]

God, I remember that story.

[Joey Diaz]

And I ended up walking home blacked out. I don't remember. I could sit here for years and tell you I knew where I was going. I remember I had a blue sweatshirt on, like a light blue hoodie and some other jacket on top. Yeah, I'm going to tell you where I woke up. On top of the Chinese, by the funeral, by the cemetery, my mom's cemetery on top of the corner. Before you hear Shitson park, there used to be a little bodega there. It's still there. It's been there through generations. Now it's an Indian guy, but back then it was. Now it's an Indian guy. I go in there to check up on my neighborhood now. Then it was a Cuban Chinese guy. And on Friday, on Sundays, he would make pork fried rice and roast pork yakameh, the nice pork with the red circles around it. Fucking world class. He owned the building. You know where Jill Gutman lived?

[Steve Avillo]

Okay.

[Joey Diaz]

And Ganipkinop, the Jewish girl. I forget what her name was.

[Lee Syatt]

Gnipgenop.

[Joey Diaz]

Yeah, she had Like a weird Jewish.

[Steve Avillo]

Name and they called the Gniebgenau. I remember, man, I haven't thought about that in 40 years.

[Lee Syatt]

What was her name? Like, Rachel Gnibganov.

[Joey Diaz]

Dog. If you think. I just thought about. I just thought of Gnibgena and that was the fucking name. I haven't heard that expression in 20 fucking years. Gnip. Gan up. I remember waking up in between the walls outside. Like it was like 8:15 in the morning. And I woke up like, pinned. Like there was a little alley and I was like pinned on that wall with another wall in front of me. And I got up, I only had the sweatshirt. I would survive. I'm like, I can't believe I didn't freeze. And I was staying with the benders and I just ran down the hill and went home.

[Steve Avillo]

You just never made it there.

[Joey Diaz]

The Quaalu. The Quaalu had different plants.

[Steve Avillo]

Yep. Yeah, I could see that.

[Lee Syatt]

How many people were you doing Quaaludes? Like, how many people were doing.

[Joey Diaz]

He was a good guy.

[Steve Avillo]

He was not a good guy, man. I. I was part of a different. None of you know. To me, every time I saw somebody doing Quaaludes, it did not look like they were having a good time. Time. They'd be sitting, you'd be at a party. I, you know, I was always talking to girls. I was doing whatever, you know, And I'd see, like, one of the guys would be doing quiet. They'd be gray, they'd be sitting in the corner holding a beer, you know, looking like half dead, you know, that's what it looked like.

[Joey Diaz]

Did you dabble in acidics with us?

[Steve Avillo]

Yes.

[Joey Diaz]

So it was always me, you and Lubes.

[Steve Avillo]

I think pretty much Higgins too.

[Joey Diaz]

And I remember one night we went to.

[Steve Avillo]

Well, he's probably going to shoot me for saying that. Delete that.

[Joey Diaz]

The night that we went to Gamio's party and Folk was the devil. He was dressed like the devil.

[Steve Avillo]

Yeah.

[Joey Diaz]

And you and me spread up and there was all these conversations going on. I'll never forget that. And every 20, 25 minutes I look at you and then we both look at Chirpy and we go. Because we were having such a great time. Were you at the Times with us up at the movie theater by Carvel up in Fairview? Did you go to any of those late night movies with us at midnight?

[Steve Avillo]

I went to see. What was it? It was like. We went to see. It was like a Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young movie followed by a Jimi Hendrix movie or Something like that. We were at.

[Joey Diaz]

Yes. I also went to see Pink Floyd live on Pompeii. I mean, listen, you didn't know what was gonna be there. I'm not gonna sit here and go, well, no, you went up there and.

[Steve Avillo]

You took your chances.

[Joey Diaz]

Some of them were fucking God awful, and some of them were pretty fucking good. Some of them were God awful. Like the time Crowley. We got stuck outside for the midnight movie and they wouldn't let us in. And Carvel was right there, and there was a half melted double cone with sprinkles and a couple fucking ants on it. And Crowley picked it up and started eating it. And the people, like, just let him in.

[Steve Avillo]

Just let him. Special kind of crazy, that guy. Special kind of crazy.

[Joey Diaz]

We used to go to movies enraged. We used to do so many fucking things as kids that kids don't even think of today.

[Steve Avillo]

No, it was. It was so much. Everything you did was outside of where, you know, like, you didn't stay home. You were never home. You know, I go home, I sleep and eat. That was it. And shower, thank God. But yeah, you'd be out all the time. All the time. From 9:00 in the morning, we'd be out.

[Joey Diaz]

In the summers, we were gone. Yeah, gone. I look at my daughter in the summers, I'm like, what? This is it. This is fucking it. If they don't take you to a camp, I'm dead. Like, this is it. But then again, I don't want it with another kid down the fucking shore. That's scary enough. The ocean's fucking bad. Not for us again. You know, we went down there in a different fucking. Listen, I swam. I'm fucking the real deal. I swam the Hudson.

[Steve Avillo]

Yeah.

[Joey Diaz]

The fucking North Bergen Lake and the Jersey shore, bitch.

[Steve Avillo]

Hackensack. We used to go fishing down on the piers in the Hudson. We'd skip school, bring cases of beer down there, and we would catch eels and throw them back. But when it got hot, you'd want to jump in. But the thing you had to remember is you had to throw like a stick or something in to see where the current was because the current would pull you right out. So you had to find part of the current that was going to take you back to the pier so you could grab a piling and climb back up. But we used to do this half in the back.

[Lee Syatt]

And I like how, like, in your mind, you're like, listen, I'll throw the stick and then I'll know where the. Did anyone ever drown?

[Steve Avillo]

No. Because you Know, you watch the stick.

[Lee Syatt]

I could watch 18 sticks. I'm definitely going to drown.

[Steve Avillo]

See, that's, it's, it's.

[Joey Diaz]

It's that type of avionic type of Jew. You know what I'm saying?

[Lee Syatt]

Yeah.

[Joey Diaz]

Not like a floating type of juice.

[Lee Syatt]

No, I don't float at all.

[Joey Diaz]

You never study in Israel with those. They float. They float underwater, you know. Now, let me know again how you got involved in the band business. You always had a band.

[Steve Avillo]

The first time I got, I saw there was a band on 51st street that Johnny Rager was in when I was like 12 years old, maybe 11. And I remember watching them play on his porch. And every time they were playing, it was just loaded with girls in front of it. So I was like, I gotta do that. So I started learning guitar again because I first started when I was seven and I quit. And then I picked it up again at like 11 or 12. And then every once in a while they'd let me sit in with them on the porch. And from there, like. I didn't really do much in high school, but after high school it was, you know, actually I hadn't. I really didn't do much. Little things here and there until I was much older. I was in my 20s. I ran into a buddy of mine on a train in a PATH train. And he was like, hey, we're gonna be jamming down at this place. Let's, you know, why don't you come down? So I came down, formed a band with them, and then he went to Follow the Dead, the drummer. And Johnny Rago joined and I brought my cousin in, that was the Cheesebags. Talk about a silly ass name. But we were together for probably about 10 years. And then I took a bunch of years off with the kids and it's the band I'm in now, the Past masters. For almost 20 years. The lineup has changed, but it's still, you know, same thing.

[Joey Diaz]

I mean, it's a great band. You guys sound fucking great. Whenever I see you, it's great to see you up there. I try to focus on you and listen to the vocals. Fucking tremendous.

[Steve Avillo]

It's fun to be up there.

[Joey Diaz]

I still. I still haven't gotten my tape from Overthrow that you were gonna lay down for me from Chris Cornell. You sound just like him on that track. You could pull it off with the acoustic. It's just crazy that you got into music. I would have gotten to music, but I would have pawned the guitar, you know what I'm saying? Like, I was. I Was one of those crazy motherfuckers. I'm not a show for ukulele some nights. Fucking harp.

[Lee Syatt]

Do you? Because I was. When I found out you were gonna be on, like, the last couple of years, I've had, like, a regular day job, too, and I don't think. I don't see a lot of people. It's more than a hobby for you, but, like, it's something that, like, artistic that you like to do. Do you think, like, it's important outside of, like, family and, like, work to have something like some sort of outlet like that?

[Steve Avillo]

Absolutely. Absolutely. It keeps me sane. And it's. It just, you know, I love music. There's nothing like playing with a group of guys and, like, hit it. Like. I mean, you. You. You're just in the pocket. It's. It's almost as good as sex. There's no other way to describe it. It's just. It's the. It's one of the best feelings, you know, ever.

[Lee Syatt]

And, like, why do you think. I mean, they could just be that. The reason. But, I mean, to keep it going for as long as you have. What, like, what kept you in? It just, like. It just. It's, like, fun.

[Steve Avillo]

It's fun. And it's. It's. It's the guys you, you know, you're in the band with. You know, everybody gets along. You know, we all have real jobs and stuff. Because you can't live on what we do. Not anymore. But it's just. It's fun. I look forward to it every week. We rehearse. So we get together every week. And then, you know, that's not just the shows. I mean, you know, you work and everybody puts time in, you know, to learn things and to come forward with stuff. So it's just that whole creative process. Even though we're not doing original music, there's nothing better.

[Joey Diaz]

And you know where you stand.

[Steve Avillo]

Yeah.

[Joey Diaz]

You've known where you stood for the last 20 years.

[Steve Avillo]

Pretty much.

[Joey Diaz]

Pretty fucking cool. I noticed that, too. And I spoke to Lee that there's different types of comedy you can do as long as you're trying, as long as you're thinking. It's better than fucking sitting there watching Jeopardy.

[Steve Avillo]

Yeah.

[Joey Diaz]

Anything beats sitting there watching fucking tv. I get depressed some nights. I got nine. Like, what am I doing in my life? I never watched this much fucking TV in my life. You know, it's sad. A football game. I could watch a quarter and then I gotta go. I got a lot of shit to do.

[Steve Avillo]

I can't Sit and just watch something.

[Joey Diaz]

No, I can't.

[Steve Avillo]

I have to. If I'm sitting watching something, you know, I'm doing a puzzle or I'm reading a book, like, I'm doing like three or four different things at the same time, you know, 90% of the time. And it pisses my wife off to no end, God bless her. The TV will be on and I'll come in with a guitar and, you know, she's trying to watch television. She's given up now. She's learned to give up now. She goes and she'll watch it in the bedroom and I'll sit in the living room. But yeah, you'll never be bored if you can play a guitar or play some type of musical instrument. That's for sure. That keeps my attention.

[Lee Syatt]

Really?

[Steve Avillo]

Yeah.

[Lee Syatt]

Cause it's like. And I don't think it's. They're sad. But again, whenever I tell the people at my day job that, like, I do comedy, like, whoa. Like, it's very foreign to them and I see a lot of them and it's great. Instead you took time off for your kids, but like, it seems like a lot of people have, they have work, they do stuff with their kids and then they're in bed at like 8:30. And it just, that's why. It's one of the reasons I love stand up. And I was interested, like.

[Steve Avillo]

Yeah.

[Lee Syatt]

If it's similar for you, it's just, it's an outlet. It's like.

[Steve Avillo]

Oh, it's, it's, it's, it's true. It's a huge stress reliever. Yeah, it's a huge outlet for you. You know, I mean, I, I don't know what, what, what comedy is like, you know, I know I enjoy it, watching it, but it's, it's, you know, if it's the same type of feeling where, you know, when I'm done at the end of a night, I've put everything I have into playing. I'm tired, I'm sweaty, I'm tired. It's like if you look at, you know, I can't compare myself. But it's like when you look at like a Springsteen show and you see him at the end of the night, you know, you basically could ring them out, right? You know, and that's. When I'm done playing at night. Just ring me up. I'm finished. Spent.

[Joey Diaz]

It's confession time. I was in the band in North Bergen. You were the sixth grade. What did you play?

[Steve Avillo]

What was the band?

[Joey Diaz]

I was a singer. A friend of ours played the bass, Dean Lapreet played the guitar, and Ray Cannella played the drums.

[Steve Avillo]

No kidding.

[Joey Diaz]

And then my voice went sour like Michael Jackson. That was the end of the night.

[Steve Avillo]

You got that nice, deep voice after that.

[Joey Diaz]

Yeah, but Levito used to let me sing on Fridays. Like, I like singing.

[Steve Avillo]

You could have played drums.

[Joey Diaz]

I always liked music, bro. Listen, I've always loved music. My problem is that I'm a fucking antique. So 20% of the stuff I listen to came out the last 10 years. Maybe if I'm lucky, you know, Tyler Kennedy, whatever, and Slash and those guys. I like the Jam that we like by Contraband Velvet Revolver. Velvet Revolver. I like this Billy Irish shit. Believe it or not. My daughter listens to it. It's okay in the cars, it's somebody not yelling. And I can hear the lady with the directions. You know what I'm saying? That's the most important lady. I listen to make a left turn. It's 150ft. Now, I gotta do the math in my head.

[Lee Syatt]

150Ft.

[Joey Diaz]

But come on, man, 80% of the shit that's on is the shit I grew up with. Whether it's Spanish rock, black music, soul music. It really is. You can't get away from it.

[Steve Avillo]

Yeah.

[Joey Diaz]

And listen, it was such a. Like, I listened to a lot. So when I revisit some, I haven't listened to it in two years. Like, I put on. I was cracking jokes about Marvin Gaye, and I put on the really good album the other day. And it was, you know. Yeah, go off, and then I'll put on what else I was listening to. Because that's why I brought it up to you the other day. God damn it.

[Steve Avillo]

I can't remember either.

[Joey Diaz]

Yes. Fragile.

[Steve Avillo]

Okay.

[Joey Diaz]

Yes. You know, even that. You know, I'm doing shit. I gotta listen to something.

[Steve Avillo]

Yeah.

[Joey Diaz]

When I'm doing shit and I'm involved and I'm trying to clean something out, you gotta have some type of fucking music on or you'll lose your mind. That's what my wife got me, a foot massager for Christmas. I go, listen, you got me another fucking gadget? Cause my wife loves fucking gadgets. Last week, the gadget she had. I had no temperature until I got to the doctor. He's like, you're 102.

[Steve Avillo]

I go.

[Joey Diaz]

But my mom. My wife's taking the fucking gadget. You know the thing that you roll on your head? They roll. It's 98. No, it's. I can feel the fucking heat in my Eyes. But I'm not gonna argue. My wife, if she don't have a gadget, life's not working for her. She loves gadgets. I wake up in the morning, there she is in the morning, trembling because she's sitting on something for her neck. Would you just go to the fucking gym? You know what I'm saying? Like it aggravates the fuck out of me. So for Christmas I wake up, oh, I got you a foot massager for your calves. I go, I'm gonna use that once. Then it's gonna sit over there and collect dust. I go, why don't you trade that in for a fucking tremendous. I'm talking about. I want to hear it come up through the walls. What do you call those? A Bluetooth, A speaker.

[Steve Avillo]

Oh, like a.

[Joey Diaz]

So I better get me a fucking Bose, some bows. That's what I miss. You want me to tell you what I miss at 6:30 in the morning? My fucking neighbor on giving that terrace me blasting fucking in the evening by Zeppelin and the Jehovah Witnesses hitting on my door. Oh please close the door. And my mom passed out from the night before. She can't even hear the fucking music. And I'm like, yeah.

[Steve Avillo]

You know what I still have in my basement?

[Joey Diaz]

What?

[Steve Avillo]

I still have my stereo from college with the big, big speakers. I got them all like surrounding four walls, all pointing in. I still have a dual cassette deck, CD and a turntable.

[Joey Diaz]

You could be a DJ now too. Part time. Turntables with a mic. Steve, it's been great to have you on.

[Steve Avillo]

It's been great being here.

[Joey Diaz]

It's great to have you as a friend for fucking 50 years.

[Steve Avillo]

Absolutely, man.

[Joey Diaz]

Thank you for opening your home up to me and with your other crazy brothers and the music and the shed and the stories and the people eating cinder blocks when I walked in there is going on.

[Steve Avillo]

You know we had a lot of fun growing up, brother.

[Joey Diaz]

Yeah, we did, man. And it's. That's why I'm here. That stayed with me to just the fact that you, you were neighbors with Dede.

[Steve Avillo]

Yeah, he was around the corner, the.

[Joey Diaz]

Butcher shop, the Longos. Fucking hell of a neighborhood.

[Steve Avillo]

Yeah.

[Joey Diaz]

What are we going to do a walk up that hill for? For donations like we could.

[Steve Avillo]

Donations is. I think it's going to be bets to see how fast we can get up, dog.

[Joey Diaz]

I look at that hill and I'm like, I don't know. That's got to be a three day. That's a three day.

[Lee Syatt]

And you bring a tent. How are you Going to take three days to walk up a hill, bro.

[Joey Diaz]

Don't pick us up at the spot where we passed out the day before.

[Lee Syatt]

Is it that bad?

[Joey Diaz]

It's up there because you forget that we were young. We had hgh baby leech. You had sperm in your toes. You had sperm coming out of you.

[Steve Avillo]

Think about it. I went for a run. I would run up that freaking hill.

[Joey Diaz]

And you walked it twice a fucking day. You walked in the morning either. I walked the one by my house. And then you had to meet by the bottom of the hill by your house. And we'd walk up that hill sometimes with ammunition, with fucking bottles of Gatorade and a bottle of poop off humping that motherfucker. You know what I'm saying? And then you get to the top of the hill and you're so hot from walking the hill, you're like, why are we gonna get on the bus for now, let's just walk it.

[Steve Avillo]

Yeah, we go to the cemetery.

[Joey Diaz]

Cemetery at night, right? Seeing the devil worship? Yeah, I took a fucking shit one night in the cemetery. That's an old grave. It was like from 1834. Ain't nobody coming back from 1834.

[Lee Syatt]

I think they might have.

[Joey Diaz]

You're shitted.

[Steve Avillo]

You actually. You shit on some.

[Joey Diaz]

Listen to me.

[Steve Avillo]

I guess this gravesend, there's like new.

[Joey Diaz]

Areas, but if you get lost, there's like an area where they have like colonial soldiers back there. It's like you see a guy with a musket on one leg and shit. You know what I'm saying? Ain't nobody coming to visit those poor people.

[Steve Avillo]

They had some crazy. Remember those mausoleums? The one like.

[Joey Diaz]

You think I'm fucking kidding you. That's some scary in those hill. 51st Street.

[Steve Avillo]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Joey Diaz]

All that down there. They'll stab you. I took my pants down and I took a. I'll never forget there was like a little. A little, you know, across. And it was broken. It was broken. Like it was. That whole area was nothing. But I take this. It's freezing. It's the night Freddie Prince got shot, by the way.

[Steve Avillo]

Okay?

[Joey Diaz]

It's freezing. Freezing. I go to get up to put my pants on, and when I. I didn't take my dick out of the pants, it peed in the fucking pants. And now it froze. It was icicles. And I had to walk in my house with these fucking swimming pants on. My mom's like, what's. What, what. What's going on here?

[Steve Avillo]

You pee pee pants?

[Joey Diaz]

Yeah, like, what happened? Nothing. Mom Nothing. Go to bed. Go to bed.

[Steve Avillo]

Just go to bed.

[Joey Diaz]

Yeah, it was good to have you on, my brother.

[Steve Avillo]

Ah, it's great to be here, man.

[Joey Diaz]

Thanks, guys. Thank you. I'm sorry about last week, about not showing up, but we were sick. I was sick. Lee was just fucked up. Walking around New York with a scarf on like fucking.

[Lee Syatt]

It was cold.

[Joey Diaz]

Like a flying Nazi, you know? He's on the wrong side now.

[Lee Syatt]

At least I'm always flying.

[Joey Diaz]

I appreciate it. We love you guys. We'll be back next Tuesday after election day if anything's left, you know what I'm saying? If there's anything left. We'll get through to you cocksuckers. Tuesday we'll be back. Pilot to bombardier one more time. Steve Avillo. One more time for my man Lee Syat and the fucking killers in the back there. Fucking Tricky Nicky and George the phone cocksucker. Love you. Bye. We're all looking to be a little harder, better, faster and stronger this year. That's where bluechew comes in. Bluechew helps give men longer lasting, stronger erections. So your sex life could be tip top Magoo. Using the same active ingredients as Viagra, Cialis Levitra, but at a fraction of the cost in a chewable form. And get ready to flip your sex life upside down. Listen, let's say you bump into a victim, you have a cocktail, you know what I'm saying? She likes you, you like him, whatever. And next thing you know, you want to get the party started. But it's the first time you've been with a certain person and you don't want to just get the party started. You want one of the eyeballs to pop out of. To get started, just sign [e-mail] consult with one of your licensed medical providers, and once you're approved, you'll get your prescription quick. It's all done online from the comfort of your own home. Listen, it's very easy. And make life easier for yourself by getting harder. And discover your [e-mail]. listen, you're getting old, just like me. You don't want to sit there every night and watch some bad tv. You know what I'm saying? You got one? Maybe one and a half. Good night. You drop three of those bluechews, bam. It's all over the shouting. Mama's taking an early retirement. Try your first month at bluechew free. Visit bluechew.com for more details and important safety information. We thank Bluechew for sponsoring the church.