The Man, The Myth, The Legend

Summary

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Podcast Summary

Podcast: The Church of What’s Happening Now: The New Testament
Episode: The Man, The Myth, The Legend
Host: Joey Coco Diaz (with Lee Syatt)
Date: September 9, 2025
Guests: John Crowley (childhood friend), with Dennis Colangelo appearing later

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Episode Overview

This episode is a raucous, nostalgia-fueled reunion as Joey Diaz and co-host Lee Syatt broadcast live from NYC and welcome childhood friend John Crowley. The show is a celebration and exploration of the wild, formative years growing up in North Bergen, New Jersey, filled with stories about friendship, struggle, comedy, and chaos. Expect unforgettable anecdotes, irreverent humor, and the warmth of old connections revisited.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Opening Banter and Weekend Recap (00:03–11:50)

• Joey jokes about what could've been if he'd stuck with his first marriage:

  "If everything worked out right, I would have been married 36 years today and still been a fucking loser. So it's the truth." (00:07)

• Lee and Joey share highlights from their recent show weekend: flying private, post-show snacks, and the luxury of avoiding typical road comic hardships.
• Joey contrasts the gritty reality of comedy touring pre-pandemic versus now, emphasizing the value of fun and friendship over money.

  "If I'm gonna take a fucking flight, I'd rather take half the money and have fun with my friends." (05:44)

• Hilarious tales of weary road trips, airport edibles, and near-missed flights set the tone for honesty and laughter.

2. The Hardships and Joys of Working Comedy (07:58–13:32)

• Joey delivers a candid look at the relentless pace and diminishing joy of the "business" of comedy pre-pandemic.

• Vivid descriptions of grueling travel experiences (Detroit, Chicago, Denver airports) underscore the grind and camaraderie of the road.

• Recent shows are recapped—the thrill of playing to 4600 people, nervous energy, and the humbling echo of large venues.

  "There was 4600 people in that on a Saturday night, though." (12:07)

3. Reuniting with Old Friends: John Crowley and the North Bergen Crew (18:44–42:09)

• Joey welcomes John Crowley, a lifelong friend and fixture in his high school years.

• They launch into war stories of youth: acid trips to “Apocalypse Now”, wrestling matches, wild house parties, and legendary pranks.

• John’s notorious “ice cream cone” incident (eating a found cone to cut in line at a theater while tripping) becomes a recurring punchline.

• The crew reminisces about their “powder keg” friendship circle, their penchant for pranks (from eyebrow shaving to fake notes), and being united by hardship, especially for Joey, coping with his mother’s death.

  "Because I don't know the magic that you guys had, it would take my pain away. The three, four hours... it was drugs and you motherfuckers. And whatever went down in between." (21:08)

4. Reckless Youth: Acid, Fights, and Small-Town Mayhem (27:39–42:09)

• The realities of their coming-of-age years surface: walking miles on foot, run-ins at high school wrestling, wild concert trips (Nazareth, Sabbath, Ozzy).

• Numerous stories feature legendary characters from North Bergen—fighters, pranksters, and beautiful troublemakers.

• The episode unspools with dark humor: dangerous pranks, close scrapes, tales of meth and acid, and the “marathon woman” who gained notoriety for her enthusiastic extracurriculars at a party.

  “You know, where’d you grow up? Retardville? No, we grew up where there was a heart, there was a heartbeat.” (26:35) – Joey Diaz

5. High School Memories and the Meaning of Friendship (48:13–63:06)

• John and Joey reflect on colorful teachers, infamous driving lessons, wrestling team camaraderie, and even school staff moonlighting as weed suppliers.
• They revisit formative stories: “cow tipping” post-college wrestling losses, riotous fights during high school matches, and feelings of missing out or loss as some friends have passed.
• Joey describes how laughter and friendship were crucial to surviving his loneliest moments:

  "Because when you get up in the morning, you got a mom, you reach, she ain't there. It ain't gonna get no better. So I still had to walk that hill and still got that number one. That number one was your first source of entertainment." (73:17)

6. Art, Music, and Moving Forward (67:21–76:31)

• John Crowley shares his current pursuits: visual art (with his interpretation of Joey displayed proudly), music production, and the ways he's channeled his wild past into creativity.

• Joey showers appreciation on John and their cohort for providing laughter and kinship during his toughest times.

  "I want to thank you in public… for bringing a lot of laughter to my life when I was a kid, because I was never gonna kill myself, but dog was I fucking close some days." (72:55)

7. Wrapping Up: Gratitude & Upcoming Gigs (75:32–end)

• The episode ends on gratitude for the enduring, life-saving power of old friends and laughter.
• The crew plugs upcoming comedy gigs (Lee's shows in NYC and Pennsylvania, Joey’s headlining dates) with signature ribbing and banter.
• Listeners are left with a sense of community and encouragement to find humor in the hardships.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Joey Diaz, on surviving adolescence:

  “We grew up on a different fucking planet, man. It was a different fucking planet.” (66:42)

• John Crowley, deadpan about his current career:

  “No, I'm Johnny Jizz. Yeah. So I... I gotta make a living, so I ejaculate on women's underwear.” (41:49)

• On the struggle and gifts of comedy:

  “I earned my stripes. I fucking did it already many a fucking day. You don't know what it's like to walk through a fucking airport after you've done four shows, four flights. You took edibles the night before.” (06:21)

• On the wild, formative years:

  “We were taking acid at fucking 15, John. You were a fucking state chain. And you would take acid and then rub garlic under the armpits whenever you wrestled.” (22:59)

• On the power of friendship:

  "You guys would say shit that would just put me on another planet." (27:37)

• Lee Syatt, reflecting on performing before a huge crowd:

  “That was the most people I've ever done a show for.” (11:51)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Opening & Weekend Recap: 00:03–11:50
• Comedy on the Road: 07:58–13:32
• John Crowley Joins (Old Friends Segment): 18:44–42:09
• High School/Youth Mayhem Stories: 27:39–42:09, 48:13–63:06
• Art, Music, and Present Day: 67:21–76:31
• Wrap Up & Plugs: 75:32–end

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Final Thoughts

This episode is pure storytelling gold for fans of Joey Diaz: raw, funny, and heartfelt. It’s a love letter to lost friends, old times, and the neighborhoods that shape who we become. Through the chaos and crude tales, there’s a deep reverence for survival and friendship—a tone that both honors the madness and finds meaning in it.

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Transcript

[Joey Diaz]

Kick this mule. Greetings from Podcast ville, the church of what's happening now? New Testament is coming out. What is it? It's September 9, 2025. If everything worked out right, I would have been married 36 years today and still been a fucking loser. So it's the truth. I would have been married 36 years taking orders. I would have probably been a fucking roofer with one hand by now. I would have had fucking skin burned.

[Lee Syatt]

Why would you have lost a hand?

[Joey Diaz]

Because who the fuck knows at this, you know, at the rate I was going. How are you, cocksucker?

[Lee Syatt]

I'm doing great, dude.

[Joey Diaz]

Everything good. This Leiat. My ko of love.

[Lee Syatt]

Hello.

[Joey Diaz]

What's happening, buddy?

[Lee Syatt]

Dude, what a great weekend.

[Joey Diaz]

Tremendous weekend. What a.

[Lee Syatt]

What a. Like, just from like the beginning to end, it's just like one of the coolest. I had, the most fun I've had in a while. Like, first of all, and this is like a very. If you had asked me two years ago if you would ever have a private plane, I'd be like, he would never dare do that. But now, like, it was like, it was so cool to just walk right onto the plane. So we're like. And then they brought food, which free. Which, you know, was funny about it. The difference between the flight there and the flight back. The flight there, everyone was like having like half a sandwich. No one ate any of the snacks on the way. Like, right after the show, oh, I was going to get snaga. I had this. I don't drink. I had two little nibs of makers.

[Joey Diaz]

Marked up 30mg edibles. Your eyes were up. Yeah, I almost. And then you start eating Nutter Butters. Like, listen, first of all, you're the one who told me about it. Two makers, Martin. I mean, the salami sandwich. You know what I'm saying? They didn't have this dude, that Slim Jim. I.

[Lee Syatt]

Well, first of all, Slim Jim is gross.

[Joey Diaz]

It's not gross. It's.

[Lee Syatt]

Yes, it is.

[Joey Diaz]

It's a lot better than Nutter Butter when you drink. No.

[Lee Syatt]

No, it is not. I will put a Nutter Butter. That was one of my favorite food tips on this entire podcast with Ali Sadiq. He would put at in prison, where they know how to around with junk food. They had honey buns slathered in peanut butter with Nutter Butters on the outside that when I know I'm dying, I'm making that. That sounds so fucking good. And by the way, that's bullshit that you bring that up. I gotta be honest, because you brought. You were the one who was like, hey, they got Nutter Butters that you want.

[Joey Diaz]

I just said it. I went over there.

[Lee Syatt]

Specifically told me.

[Joey Diaz]

I went over there. I got those Chili Cheetos, right? I sat down, I go, wow, there's Nutter Butters, there's Oreo, there's chips.

[Lee Syatt]

You can't say that to me. Hi. That's the best.

[Joey Diaz]

Was when George was talking to the cigarette girl in the casino. And she had cigarettes, but she had M and Ms. And fucking peanuts. And I'm like. And Lee's looking at him as we're walking by. And the chicks got tits out to here.

[Lee Syatt]

I didn't see the tits.

[Joey Diaz]

And Lee's looking at the fucking $100,000 bar and the Kit Kat. Unbelievable.

[Lee Syatt]

It's a problem.

[Joey Diaz]

Listen, man, I've always been very lucky that people have taken me on shit. And all of a sudden, they got a private plane. I don't say anything. And I didn't know how much. Listen, let's be honest. One thing that people don't know is how much things really cost. People have no idea what anything costs, right? It's like that saying, you don't know what you need till you need it. You know, it's like somebody came to me. In fact, make a mental note. We could get ads on New Jersey 12 for fucking oceans.

[Lee Syatt]

Yeah, absolutely.

[Joey Diaz]

You know, and they're like, nothing. Nothing compared to radio. If you call the New York Times, you want to put an ad, it's nothing. Radio. Nobody listens to the radio.

[Lee Syatt]

They still do.

[Joey Diaz]

You got a better chance of fucking shooting yourself if you want. I swear to God. Who listens to AM radio?

[Lee Syatt]

Not necessarily am, but what's left on fm. At least in Boston. They have all these on FM now. They have.

[Joey Diaz]

I mean, well, sports in Boston and New York is huge.

[John Crowley]

Yes.

[Lee Syatt]

Sports radio is fucking amazing.

[Joey Diaz]

Arguing. They should get this guy as the draft choice.

[Lee Syatt]

Oh, I love him. I grew up on a sports. I love when they have, like, regular callers who, like, call and they think they're, like, a star of the show. It's like, it's Charles from Brockton calling, and he's like, I called yesterday, and they're on every day. It's my. I love sports radio.

[Joey Diaz]

It was funny because I saw one of our friends. I'm not going to throw him under the bus blue with this company, okay? And I just went on their website, I went on their Instagram page, and I saw who else flew there, and I just called them and I thought, but they were the best. They were everything, everything across the board. They were just nice people. They had worked with comedians before. So I'm like, let's give it a try, you know? And I told you guys two months ago, I'd rather listen. Comedy before the pandemic for me was a business and it was lucrative and I was having fun with it, but I really wasn't having fun. I was beating myself up because everything was so serious. Everything was so serious. I had to take everything so fucking serious. Because they call you and they're like, you know, three tickets from selling out. I don't need this at 6:30. You know what I'm saying? Like, you don't need this at 6:30. Then they call you on a Friday at 6. The agents think they're slick. I made a no call policy with me. Don't call me after Wednesday because you're just going to torture me unless you got an envelope, call me. If there's no envelope or speculation, I don't want speculation. Because what they do to you is they call you Friday after you sell out. They wait till you start selling out, and then they call you and they go, hey, congratulations, you sold out. I just talked to the people 10:24. And they start booking you. You're high on the ether. You don't even look at the fucking calendar, right? They just threw you an extra five grand. And you're like, okay, I'll take it. Then you go home, and that's the weekend you fucking. You have to go to a wedding. Your kid's fucking roller skating. And now what are you gonna do? Now what are you gonna do? And it's like, I used to have like a two weeks a month towards the end. That's what I could handle, man. Four different cities, two shows a night. That's plenty. That's plenty. And every once in a while, I would sneak a fucking Friday and Saturday in there. Or they sneak it in. Like, I would go two weeks a month. And next thing you know, I'm looking at my calendar and I'm working six weeks in a row. Because the two weeks bumped into the two last weeks of the month, bumped into the two first weeks of the fucking whatever month. So I just. Anyway, I wanted to start having fun again on the road. If I'm gonna take a fucking flight, I'd rather take half the money and have fun with my friends. And me getting up at five in the morning to walk through a fucking airport ain't fun no more. I earned my stripes. I fucking did it already many a fucking day. You don't know what it's like to walk through a fucking airport after you've done four shows, four flights. You took edibles the night before. Go ahead. I'll put you at the Detroit airport. Go ahead. Where you have to go under the fucking airport and it's just blue lights and you think you're in the fucking twilight zone at 4 in the morning. You have no fucking idea. Well, I'll take you to Chicago one time where they switch your gate and you need a car to get to the other place. By the time you get over there, you're fucking done. You're done. Your flight's taken off already. You know, I went through all that shit in the morning, 4:45, getting to the fucking airport. Remember that time we were. What time we at Kennedy when we ate the edibles at three in the morning?

[Lee Syatt]

Oh, we got lost on the way.

[Joey Diaz]

We got lost on the way to Kennedy and shit. You got mad at me that I.

[Lee Syatt]

Didn'T know the directions of Kennedy.

[Joey Diaz]

There was no ways then. We were doing some shit. I'm like, lee, we're in fucking Queens West Kennedy Airport. And we had like 10 minutes to get there, dawg. I was cutting motherfuckers off, by the way.

[Lee Syatt]

We ate banana bread on the way, like as we left the hotel.

[Joey Diaz]

Fucking banana bread for breakfast. We were up, up by the time we got to the airport. Yeah, we did get there though. Yeah, we got there and I think we just ran away from the rental car. They thought we were Arabs. What that? And they just fucking ran away. They figured it out. They always figured out.

[Lee Syatt]

Oh my God. But it was. I will say the Jew in me was like, you know what? The way there, I could have flown commercial like the way there. But the way back, the way back was the best part.

[Joey Diaz]

That's what it is.

[Lee Syatt]

The way back to go from literally the stage to our bag to on the plane. Like they drove us there. It was like a Uber to the stairs. That part was cool because then we were home. I was home at 3:30, I got home at 4:30.

[Joey Diaz]

I was wide awake. I watched something.

[Lee Syatt]

Yeah, I was up till 5am Listen.

[Joey Diaz]

Man, I think that. Let's talk about. Let's say you do a weekend and you're a feature act. You have a six hour fucking drive. You get back to you, you have a few beers and you get back to your hotel room at 1 in the morning, 1:30. You gotta get up and leave this hotel room. Get in the car and drive Six hours after you had the weekend of your life, you opened up for Dave Attell. He had five sold out shows. And to top it off, they're only giving you 500 bucks. A guy like Attell will throw you an extra fin because he's a fucking gentleman. You still got a six hour drive home, which is a fucking nightmare. Okay? So think of. And listen, I did that plenty. I even got on a bus after a long weekend. I don't want to hear it from any fucking body. I paid my fucking dues. And then you get on a plane. And it's like the same thing when you're a feature actor and you get on a plane. You're sitting in the back of the plane, you're smelling farts, feet, you're next to fucking federal prisoners and shit. They're trying to fucking work you for a nail file. You know, it's a fucking labor. Yeah, you get delayed, cancel. You can't afford a big flight, so you have to take a connecting flight. And now you're sitting at the connecting flight and you're so broke, they're like, we're offering $250 to switch till 6:30. And you're up there, fucking let me say you something. I'll take $150. But $100, gotta be a bill. I remember one time they were like, I don't know if we could do that. Well, you gotta do it. Cause I had no money, I needed cigarettes. I was in Denver. Finally, I just went behind the counter and took the fucking Camels and ran out of there. And then you gotta walk out of that airport and I just went in the bathroom and started smoking. You ever go to Denver Airport? Bring your fucking roller skates. Bring your fucking roller skates. And then after you get in your Uber, you still got 45 minutes to get out of there. And then you got to hit whatever the boulder. That's another fucking hour. It's not like when me and George were partying 35 minutes to pick up a gram of blow. Those days are done, Jack. That's a fucking hour to fucking Boulder now. So I don't want to hear it. So anyway, the point is we fucking deserved a private plane. We pulled it off. We did great. The show was great. Lee blew it up. Steve Simone blew it up. Had the best set in five years. At least. I was. I knew who the fuck I was for the first time in my life. And it was great. The hotel was great. The stake at council in Oak was fucking on fire. The veal chop. George even brought half of it home. He brought the bone home. He's planting it in his yard to see what comes out. Fucking tremendous. It was just a great weekend. I'm happy you guys had to do it. It's like fucking Christmas in September. I don't know when this will happen again, Right, Virginia, we might be taking the train and. But we'll work it out. You never know. So.

[Lee Syatt]

But yeah, even like. Like you said, the shows were awesome. The show was awesome. I don't know, but that was the most people I've ever done a show for.

[Joey Diaz]

And there was a lot more than 3, 500 gentlemen.

[Lee Syatt]

Yeah. Damn, dude. That's crazy.

[Joey Diaz]

4600. No way.

[Lee Syatt]

You serious?

[Joey Diaz]

There was 4600 people in that on a Saturday night, though.

[Lee Syatt]

There weren't. There were 4,600 people. I'm glad.

[Joey Diaz]

I knew that you might faint, you know, when you get off. I knocked them out. Hold on.

[Lee Syatt]

Luckily, the lights are fucking bright as hell. I could see nobody. Maybe the little bit of the front room.

[Joey Diaz]

Fucking gorgeous. But when I went out there, it took. I don't know how I didn't faint. That's the biggest room, you know, like, that's a big room. Those. The energy will knock you off a little bit.

[Lee Syatt]

Wow.

[Joey Diaz]

I say. Oh, you stuttering.

[Lee Syatt]

Oh, no, I. I'm.

[Joey Diaz]

I'm glad.

[Lee Syatt]

I. I'm glad Steve Simone saved me and I went up second. Yeah, it was. It was crazy because even there was a little bit of an echo, which I was like, I'm glad I heard.

[Joey Diaz]

Before there was an echo on the side. But I think it wasn't as bad.

[Lee Syatt]

Once you got on.

[Joey Diaz]

Once you got on stage.

[Lee Syatt]

Thank God. I was a little worried about that. I was like, okay, that's. But it was something I was, like, getting ready for because I had done Newark, which is like 31, and I did. I had. I did. Okay. But it was like, it. I was a little bit more prepared for what it might sound like, because it sounds weird, but it just sounds different and, like, it messes with your timing a little bit the first time you hear it.

[Joey Diaz]

What are you gonna do?

[Lee Syatt]

All right.

[Joey Diaz]

I'm saying don't worry about nothing. Don't worry about nothing. I'm not worried about an animal.

[Lee Syatt]

I had a great time.

[Joey Diaz]

I'm worried about sound. Who gives a this? Crack your jokes and take your time.

[Lee Syatt]

I worry about everything. You know that.

[Joey Diaz]

Anything. Anyway, we got a great guest guest coming on tonight. These are both two childhood friends of mine that I love with all my heart. So give me two minutes and we'll be right back with these fucking savages. What's happening? Beautiful people. Uncle Joey here. It's time for the fight we've all been waiting for. You got Canelo going up against Crawford. And guess what? DraftKings sportsbook is your all access pass to the action. I've teamed up with DraftKings yet again. Why? Because from the opening bell to the final scorecard, DraftKings delivers a great time every time. I mean, they're solid. You with your family, you're eating chicken wings, you're jumping up and down. No ranch. But listen, you keep the action going again this Sunday when NFL comes back. Or football is back this Sunday. Now do me a favor. If you're new to DraftKings, it's your lucky day. Why, Joey? Tell me why. Bet five bucks and get 200 in bonus bets. Just like that, the herpes is gone. Bet 5 bucks and get 200 in bonus bets? Just like that? Download the DraftKings Sportsbook app right now and press in Code Joey. That's Code Joey to get you 200 in bonus bets when you just bet the small fin. Listen, DraftKings, download the app. You know why? Because the crown is yours. Gambling problem. Call 1-800-GAMBLER in New York. Call 877-8-HOPENYU or text hopeny467-369 in Connecticut. Help is available for problem gambling. Call 888-789-7777 or visit ccpg.org Please play responsibly on behalf of Boothill Casino and Resort in Kansas. Fees May apply in Illinois, 21 and over. Age and eligibility varies by jurisdiction. Boyden, Ontario. Bonus bets expire. For additional terms and responsible gaming resources, see DKNG CO Audio. What's happening, beautiful people? Uncle Joey here for in the Cloud. Listen, if you want a nice relaxing night for once, you need. In the Cloud. In the Cloud makes legal hemp derived THC products that get the job done. You can pick up some gummies, exotic flower vapes, Pre rolls. All strong and tasty and shipped discreetly. But let me talk to you about some. If you're looking to look around your house and go, who lives here? This is what you need in the Cloud. Beast mode. Gummies. Dracula. When I tell you an edible is called Dracula, look at these two bites under my lung right here. The edible bit me. Speak to me, old toothless one. This one is sour cherry. They got some great flavors. It's 20 times 500 milligrams of THC. Gummies. Oh, my God. Kids like you don't like these type of things. But Uncle Joey. People. Strap on your seatbelt and get yourself some in the Cloud. Whether you're trying to chill or watch a movie or get in the movie or just see the devil and get hyped up for a big night. Not out. You ain't going nowhere. Stay in the house, get some pizza and tell Mama to rub your feet. You got a vampire in you. In the Cloud. Help has what you need. Hit it, Lee. Now, if you're 20 on over, you're going to get 25% off your first order, plus free shipping when you press in Coachurch. That's C H U R. C H. Just like that, people. C H U r c h. IndiaCloud co again. Listen, I'm going to take care of you. If you're 21 or older, I'm going to give you 25% off your first order, plus free shipping when you press in code Church at indecloud. C dot. No, too many dots. In the cloud. C slash, O dot. Whatever hit me, that's in the Cloud. I, N, D, A, C l, u, d. Co. All right? It's that simple. You get 25% off. Lee, scroll the goddamn thing. I'm like Moses with no arms. Come on, keep going. Let's do this. Lee, come on. I already read that. Come on. Again. End the cloud. Code church. 25% off. Free shipping. Snacks suddenly taste like a tremendous thing. Like tonight. This chicken tastes tremendous. Why? Because of the vampire. And for Spanish people. El Vampido. Again. In the Cloud. Now fill out that quick survey when you order to support the church show. All right? And please enjoy responsibly. And huge thanks to the in the Cloud for sponsoring tonight's episode. Thank you very much. In the Cloud. You're beautiful people. These are a great product. Look at the shape of me, you know what I'm saying? We're back. Anyway, we got a great guest tonight. I haven't seen this guy in 30 years. We spoke about 15, 18 years ago. You were doing children's books or some shit. And I'm like, well, he's from North Bergen Children's Books. This motherfucker lost his mind. But I want to introduce to you John Crowley. We got another guy over there, Dennis Colangelo. He'll come on later during the football podcast. We'll tell you about it later. Anyway, what's up, Big John?

[John Crowley]

How you doing?

[Joey Diaz]

You know, trying to put the pieces together.

[John Crowley]

Me, too, man.

[Joey Diaz]

At the end of the Show. Remind me. We'll bring the picture that you drew. The show America.

[John Crowley]

All right.

[Joey Diaz]

Yeah.

[John Crowley]

The best comic in. In the world. No, no, no, no.

[Joey Diaz]

What's up, John? Talk to me. Who gives a fuck about comedy? Tell these motherfuckers how it came to be. Let these motherfuckers know where we came from. Shoveling snow at Kennedy fucking School.

[John Crowley]

That's it.

[Joey Diaz]

Smacking each other to death.

[John Crowley]

That's right. And this guy Joey here.

[Joey Diaz]

Coco. Coco.

[John Crowley]

That's right, Coco. He.

[Joey Diaz]

He.

[John Crowley]

He convinced me to. Was it. Shave my eyebrows back in the day?

[Joey Diaz]

I don't remember that.

[John Crowley]

With Louie and.

[Joey Diaz]

And Kurt, God rest his soul. Yeah, yeah, Kurt.

[John Crowley]

So you don't remember this? You.

[Joey Diaz]

You.

[John Crowley]

You were. You were saying, we believe, Crowley, we believe. And then. Come on, Crowley, we believe. You know, and then use. I don't know, you know, so long ago, but at the end of it, either I shaved my eyebrows or you or Kurt or Louie. And then this was in the summer. We were smoking so many joints and it was. And then I remember I had to hide it from my mother.

[Joey Diaz]

Everybody did. Yeah, lucky one.

[John Crowley]

It was in the summer, and I had to wear. I wore a long hat to try to fuck. You know, like, cover my eyebrows and this. We were down. Down Seaside Heights with my mother. My mother, she's like, what the fuck did you do? And then I had to. Had to tell her what happened.

[Joey Diaz]

How old were you at that time?

[John Crowley]

We were like 16, 17, which.

[Joey Diaz]

That might close it.

[John Crowley]

We were like 16 or 17. Something.

[Joey Diaz]

Yeah.

[Lee Syatt]

How long did the hat trick last? Like, did it last a couple days?

[John Crowley]

You know what it was? It was on a. It was on the weekend in Seaside Heights. And, like, my mother, like, in the summer, wearing a hat, you know, I was like, all the way down, and she's like, what the hell are you doing?

[Joey Diaz]

And.

[John Crowley]

And then I had, you know, I had the show. And then, you know, I was with my Aunt Jeanette, and then my cousins were there, and, you know, then I had the. I look kind of. I look more fucked up than I am now, you know, at that point.

[Joey Diaz]

So it's crazy, because I met you through a guy named Kurt. Lorenzo's past loved him like a brother. So did you.

[John Crowley]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Joey Diaz]

And then you introduced me to Louis Castalito, probably sophomore year. And I would hang out with my usual buddies, Glenn and all those crazy lunatics. But while I wanted a taste of the wild side, it was these motherfuckers. And we also had a fifth member of the Beatles in those days. He would Come in and out of our lives. And his name was Darren Rago. Yes, Right. And that would be the fucking cherry or Renee Quintero, AKA Dee Dee. I mean, when you put us all together, it was not a looking back at it. It was like a fucking. A powder keg. But I remember. I mean, listen, you gotta remember one thing. That I had lost my mother like six months before I started. Like, I knew you guys, but before I started hanging out with that circle, I lost my mother. And at night the pain would be out of control. And I tell you guys, I come around, I talk to you guys still. Because I don't know the magic that you guys had, it would take my pain away. The three, four hours. Whether it was you, Dennis Conti, that was my escape, was you guys, it was drugs and you motherfuckers. And whatever went down in between. Like, I remember taking Double Barrel Sunshine with you, me, you, maybe Kurt. And that's. This is how long it did. We went to see Apocalypse now at the Fairview Cinema, like just tripping our boy. And I remember Marlon Brando's face was melting. You know, you're a fucking 15, 16 year old kid. This is why he's drawing pictures of me. Like I look like I got AIDS and I'm fucked up. We were taking acid at fucking 15, John. You were a fucking state chain. And you would take acid and then rub garlic under the armpits whenever you wrestled. People that stunk, most of you or whatever.

[John Crowley]

To make sure I stunk.

[Joey Diaz]

Yeah, yeah, that's fucking like. This is all the shit that comes back to me. I remember that time. And then I remember us going to see a midnight movie in Fairview. Now, granted, none of us had mommies and daddies that drove us around. No, this was all by foot. And it was all mescaline based. Nick's Pizza and alcohol. That's all we fueled this shit with. Cause we always stopped at Nick's and tortured that motherfucker for a few minutes. Got a slice on the arm and you still owe me money, you fuck. You know, the whole thing. And then we'd walk. You know what's crazy? I look at that distance from there to Fairview and it's like 18 miles. We used to walk that 18 minutes.

[John Crowley]

Yeah, talking shit right up to the math adds up.

[Joey Diaz]

Joe. What, brother?

[Lee Syatt]

You're driving. That's 60 miles an hour.

[Joey Diaz]

We would be walking and talking and giggling and walking with our backs.

[John Crowley]

No Ubers, no Uber.

[Joey Diaz]

Don't fucking.

[John Crowley]

None of us had cars. No, no, that's none of us.

[Joey Diaz]

Everything was on fucking foot. But I remember one night we got there, and Rocky. It was that two movie theaters, they had the Rocky Horror Picture show and maybe Led Zeppelin. The song May is the same. And there's a line from here to the fucking corner. And then it cut over to the. Whether you. I bought the bathing suit in 1998. Whatever. That little fucking store there. I still got that bathing suit, $4 on sale. It's still the best bathing suit I ever bought in Fairview, New Jersey, in a dollar fucking store. Still wear it. I still bust it out from time to time.

[John Crowley]

I would like to see that.

[Joey Diaz]

Oh, yeah. It's just a blue thing with yellow stripes.

[John Crowley]

So love to see it.

[Joey Diaz]

There's a fucking line. We're tripping on acid, and we get to this line, and we're like, you know what? We ain't standing on this fucking line. And my brother here, there's a Carvel next to the fucking thing. And it was open till midnight, maybe 11:30. So before we're going to stand in line, we see the cone upside down on the ledge. There's a little ledge where people put their cigarettes out and shit. There's a cone upside down and there's a few ants by it. I go, crowley, if we're gonna cut in this line, you gotta eat that fucking ice cream. And then we started in. We believe in the fucking turn.

[John Crowley]

They couldn't get enough of that fucking.

[Joey Diaz]

Motherfucker picks up the ice cream cone and starts eating in front of the people on the line. They're like, ew, Ew. Boop. We just got right in there, the movie theater open. We go right in again. We sit down. We're in the back. They're yelling. There's a fucking. This is Cliffside, North Bergen, Fairview. These are all these fucking towns again. It's a powder keg. And they're yelling or whatever. I crowd. They go up to the front, straighten these fucking people out. This motherfucker. Where do you think I got the idea to do stand up in movie theaters? You think I invented that? This guy did it in 1981 maybe. And he just walked into the front. He goes, can I have your attention, please? And, dog, somebody started yelling. Some other guy goes, no, no, let him speak. He's the dude who ate the ice cream cone.

[Lee Syatt]

I have to be honest. I've heard about you for years.

[Joey Diaz]

For years.

[Lee Syatt]

That's that story, probably.

[Joey Diaz]

I met. You know, every night I would go, where the fuck is. How did I grow up? Like that John Crow. And when you tell that story, I fucked you up. Oh, my God. And when you tell somebody that shit, they look at you and go, you know, where'd you grow up? Retardville? No, we grew up where there was a heart, there was a heartbeat. I got another time we were at a party and there was a chandelier. I think we did acid and somebody was playing Bruce Springsteen and somebody ate the album. Like you weren't allowed to fucking play Springsteen. They're like born to run. Somebody picked it up and cracked it in half. And then somebody put Pink Floyd, Dark side of the Moon on. And it's that dun dun before taking away the moments that they make of the dull day. And it's going through all that pre stuff. Boom, boom. And Crowley puts his hand up. Everybody's looking at Crowley goes the inner light. And fucking, we just died. Like, how do you still remember this after fucking 40 years? Because I was going through hell at that time. And you guys would say shit that would just put me on another planet.

[John Crowley]

How about Quintessence? Remember Quintessence.

[Joey Diaz]

Quintessence.

[John Crowley]

The disco on. On Tunnel.

[Joey Diaz]

Remember? Yeah, but here's the thing. I boycotted contestants. I never went to contestants.

[John Crowley]

You fucking with.

[Joey Diaz]

No, I didn't. I never felt you were. Never to my mother's grave, to my daughter, because I stood by it. I will never fucking go to that club. I'm a Corky's guy. And if I'm going to snore Coke, it's going to be in a hotel. I'm not going to go down there with fake fucking DJs and dog. That's how solid I was. Even then.

[John Crowley]

I guess I was a little screwed that night.

[Joey Diaz]

Yeah, no, we went. Listen, you weren't screwed, Crowley. We hung out tough. Let's get rid of the add and the fucking shots. We got to the head and life. We hung out tough, Crowley, with Kurt, from maybe 79 to the time you guys graduated high school. You graduated in 81. Maybe 80, 80. And then I maybe saw you a year after that. I was with you when fucking Bon Scott died. We took a head of acid, it was snowing out and we were walking by venaries. And there used to be a tree there right across from Our lady of Libra. And there was a sign that said, like, the road is closed or something. And Crowley says, I gotta take a piss. And he just got on the tree, he started pissing and he started going like this. And the cars are going this way and you can see people like fucking. You know. You can't write this shit. You cannot. You cannot. You don't understand. We tricked. Were you with us tonight? We all did acid again. And on the way home, this motherfucker. It just rained. It was one of those Jersey rainstorms. It just fucking rained. And we're walking, and we're getting close to the diner where George had the hardware store. We're getting close to Fairview Diner, whatever it was at the time. We're walking. We're close to Robinson Anton where they fucking make the thread. Okay? And we're walking and Kurt keeps me. You and Louie are looking at each other. This is cold blooded, Lee. You ain't the first one who suffered. Don't think you're a martyr here. Who called me a martyr.

[Lee Syatt]

And I am aware that there's another one of us here. What years were you in service?

[Joey Diaz]

No, this guy, we were like, dice, we did the fucking. Ok? We did the fucking in those days. So Kurt was a smart guy. Fucking, you know, and me and Louie look at each other. I'm like, louie, you hear that? He goes, no, we either did it to Kurt or to Louie. I think we did it to Louie. We're like, louie, you hear that? And Louie's like, no, I don't hear nothing. And Kurt's like, come on, Louie. You don't hear that fucking siren? And Louie's like, no. And he's like, come on, Louie.

[John Crowley]

Jesus.

[Joey Diaz]

And we both started going, Jesus fucking Christ. And Louis, there was a puddle on the middle of the street. He just bent to his knees and started throwing water in his face. He just got drenched. And he's like, I don't fucking hear it. And he just tore us home. We didn't see him till the next week, the next day. Like that type of shit. And there's a thousand. We went to see Nazareth.

[John Crowley]

Oh, yeah, that's right.

[Joey Diaz]

We went to see Nazareth at the fucking Palladium, June 6th.

[John Crowley]

And also Ozzy with what's his name, at the Palladium.

[Joey Diaz]

Yeah, we went to se.

[John Crowley]

Yeah, and fuck.

[Joey Diaz]

You think you're dealing with motherfuckers.

[John Crowley]

So I don't know if you remember, I got ripped. And I.

[Joey Diaz]

We.

[John Crowley]

I. I asked the bouncer. I remember I asked the bouncer to. I said, you know, when they started playing Mr. Crowley. So I said, I'm Mr. Crowley. And they're like, the fuck. I was, you know, we're ripped, of course, your ID. And so I had my ID. And I'm trying to. I'm saying, I'm Mr. Crowley. They're singing my song, right? So then the bouncer just get the fuck, you know, get the fuck out of here. And then I. I threw my license as far as it can go. I don't know where it landed. So to this day, I don't know where my. What happened to my license?

[Joey Diaz]

I still remember going, where's fucking Crowley? And they're like, he's going over there to tell him that. And I'm like, whatever at this point. What? Fuck. I mean, that's how deep we were.

[John Crowley]

We were. I got ripped that night, man.

[Joey Diaz]

I was ripped. Ripped. Did you go with us to Philly to see Black Sabbath with Ronnie James Dio when Ray go took the purple Quaaludes?

[John Crowley]

No, I think I missed that one.

[Joey Diaz]

This mother. We go to a Burger King. Like a stop at a random, and this motherfucker comes on. He goes, guys, there's a guy in there. He's got purple acid. It was like fucking marshmallows. Like, the guy had marshmallows. He made them purple and then he froze them. And I go, Ray goes, knock it off. We just ate masculine. We got everything. We got methyl in the pills. We got it all. He's like, no, I really want to do this type of acid, okay? He does the two fucking things. Nobody else eats it. I'm like, reggie, you tripping? Not yet. Not yet, but it's going to work. We're like, in the sixth row. Where's Ray go? He's fucking sleeping. He's out. We had to pick him up, put him in the car the next day. He's like, I don't know what happened last night. I go, yeah, you bought purple lutes. I did. Not till 20 years later, whenever he. He would get out of control, I go, doug, I don't know if you remember. You're the one that ate the purple lutes. And he would still fuck you, Coco. You walk at home, he would still get pissed. Yeah.

[John Crowley]

Too bad what happened with him, huh?

[Joey Diaz]

Geez. But I just want people to understand. The guys you were wrestling with, you had Perry's locking. I was just talking about the other day. I seen throw a beating on four motherfuckers on Kennedy Boulevard one night before a week before Christmas, by a pizza parlor, by Louis Castellito's house. It was a running back rotunda.

[John Crowley]

He had a fight with four dudes.

[Joey Diaz]

I can't mention their name. Fucked them up because they made up a story that they ran into 20 Puerto Ricans and they Got mugged. No, no, no. It was. It was Rotundi. It was Perry's lock and kill him at the. All four of them. They showed up a week later with fucking arm braces and shit. Yeah, we got jumped by Spix in Union city. It was 2 in the morning. I was walking by. I might have been fucked up, but I hid in the corner. I'm like, what the fuck is Perry doing? Blah, blah, yum yums for everybody. You had Dee Dee, you had Rego, you, Haley, God rest his soul. Pertine, Lorenzo, God rest his soul. Dead anyway. Which. I don't know. Haley had Brian Haley somewhere. He just passed away a few weeks.

[John Crowley]

Yeah, the. The younger.

[Joey Diaz]

The. I don't remember.

[John Crowley]

Well, Bob, I think Bob was the older brother.

[Joey Diaz]

The one we went to Kennedy School. What's the one I ran with in Kennedy School?

[John Crowley]

Oh, Glenn. Glenn.

[Joey Diaz]

What was his name? Glenn. Glenn passed away a couple weeks ago. Three weeks ago. Glenn. Glenn. Oh, Robin was the old one. Sarah. Okay. All right.

[John Crowley]

No, I heard. Yeah, I heard one of them died. I wasn't sure which one.

[Joey Diaz]

I still remember being at one of your wrestling matches at the high school. We would go see him. Who the fuck didn't go see Crowley? You went to see Crowley. Colangelo, Calandrillo. You just went. And you drank a fucking shitload of booze before you walked in high school. And the teachers would see you and go, jesus Christ. But I still remember walking in and being fucked up and looking over to the Corner and seeing Mr. T and thinking I was cool and opening up, like, a winter jacket and going. And I had, like, a half pint of Southern Comfort, and I thought I was cool. And I go, t. And he's like. And he opened up his jacket and he just looked. He closed the jacket. He goes. And he just stood there in the corner. That's how that high school was on a fucking Friday night. The teacher was already boozing. And then it was on. You watch the wrestling match, and after the wrestling matches, it was on. It was every man for himself. Nobody wanted to go home. Quaaludes, gorilla biscuits, whatever. We. Those black beauties I used to get in East Brunswick. East Stroudsburg. East Stroudsburg, New York.

[John Crowley]

Oh, yeah.

[Joey Diaz]

Me and another friend of ours used to take a ride on Saturdays.

[John Crowley]

Were you there when we wrestled Fort Lee and they had the big riot? I think I was junior or senior when I. Because I said I was. I don't know if you remember, like. So the Foley High School, they brought. They were our arch rivals. Right? So I said when I'm like, they interviewed me because I got athlete of the week or something, right? So I said, I'm going to wear like an executioners mask, right, For. For, you know, when we wrestled, right? So then I. So when we run out to, you know, like the warm up, you know, and then all the, all the Fort Lee guys, they threw out like nooses because they were, you know, right? So then that match when I. When I wrestled Bjanovic, right, I wound up, I. I grabbed his arm like this and he landed with his. His hand like this. And this bone went through his. You know, he landed really hard and this bone went through there. And all fucking blood was on the fucking mat. And his fucking brother, his brother came on the mat and, you know, was trying to fight me. And then there was fucking huge fight. There was like a riot, you know, Remember that night?

[Joey Diaz]

Or maybe you.

[John Crowley]

Maybe you didn't go to that night, but that was a fucking crazy night.

[Joey Diaz]

When we fought late there. Cops come and all that shit.

[John Crowley]

In those days, all I remember is it was, you know, fighting and everything. It was a crazy night that night.

[Joey Diaz]

I mean, the other night we went to dinner with Egazy and Carlos Rodriguez and we were talking about the night we played these storage and they lit the bus on fire. You know, kids wouldn't even fucking understand that.

[John Crowley]

Crazy, right?

[Joey Diaz]

It's crazy about the bus on fire. They just lit it on fire. We had to wait there.

[John Crowley]

The good old days.

[Joey Diaz]

JV or somebody. And these buses had no air conditioner. They barely had brakes. They barely have fucking brakes. Those yellow North Bergen buses had no air conditioner. Well, you froze your fucking ass off in that shit.

[Lee Syatt]

So why did they light it on fire?

[Joey Diaz]

Because they're Patterson east side. Because they're savages.

[Lee Syatt]

Oh, the other team did it.

[Joey Diaz]

The fucking area East. Whatever the fuck.

[Lee Syatt]

Okay?

[Joey Diaz]

In that town, you don't leave your car out like that. In the 80s, it wasn't like, you know, hold on to the keys, Mr. Valet Man.

[John Crowley]

Not much better now.

[Joey Diaz]

No, it's not much better now. They fucking lit the bus on fire. That's, you know. And you tell that to somebody, like that never happened. All right? That happened. I was fucking there. I was there. I was on that team. I'll never forget. Like you had to get home to make out with a chick to get an eight pack. And we were stuck at this fucking thing because the bus was on fire. I'd bring another bus. We had a ride back with varsity or whatever the fuck it was. But where'd you go to college, John?

[John Crowley]

One year of Bergen Community, one year. And then that was. That was pretty, pretty fun. I went to, you know what the fuck up thing is, like in the. I remember in the, you know, I was good in high school wrestling, right? So, like when I was a senior, took second in the state. Then I go to college and I like. I was out of shape, you know. Like in the summer, you know, you party your ass off. I go to fucking college and I. I'm like. I lose. Like my first few matches, I was like. And everybody else is winning, right? And then by the end of the season then, you know, I kind of caught, you know, caught myself back up, you know, got back in shape. And then. Well, yeah, like, also I had a. I broke. What is it a cartilage removal or something like that. So I don't. So. And then, so then we went. When we went to the, you know, I made it to the nationals, you know, for the wrestling. And then I think it was. I lost second round, right? So we had to come back home, right? So I remember like partying that night, right. You know what, you know, what they did for fun out in Minnesota? We went cow tipping. Got, you know, we had like a. You know, everybody, I guess, who lost, right? We, you know, everybody who lost that night in the wrestling tournament. We had a big, you know, big party in the. In the hotel. And then I got drunk and we went cow tip. And man, it was great, you know, Pretty fun. You ever go cow tipping?

[Joey Diaz]

No.

[John Crowley]

You got to try it, man.

[Joey Diaz]

Yeah. Yeah. I'm gonna leave next week. I'm gonna take an adventure to cowland and go fucking cow.

[Lee Syatt]

Yeah, man.

[John Crowley]

Anybody, you know. So, yeah, you gotta try cow tip, you know.

[Joey Diaz]

How did you end up back in Jersey? What? When did you end up back in Jersey? When the. Oh. Oh.

[John Crowley]

We wound up like one, one or two days. The coach told us, you know, we were. I didn't stay for the finals there, you know, so. And so I had to come back. Back to, you know, Primus. That was at Bergen Community College, so.

[Joey Diaz]

And then what'd you do? Would you graduate? Because I haven't fucking seen you.

[John Crowley]

No, no. What happened was I. I was dating a young lady and she got pregnant and we had. I had a son and I got married and so I have a 42 year old son now.

[Joey Diaz]

What'd you do for a living all those years?

[John Crowley]

Oh, I did a lot of different things. A lot of different things, you know, and then.

[Joey Diaz]

No, no, you didn't do a lot of different things.

[John Crowley]

No, but what I do now. No, what, what I do. No, what I do now is right then I'm on. I'm on only fans.

[Joey Diaz]

Okay.

[John Crowley]

Yeah.

[Joey Diaz]

So just your feet or your dick?

[John Crowley]

No, I'm Johnny Jizz. Yeah. So I, I. No, I. Hey, I got to make a living, so I ejaculate on women's underwear. Aren't you?

[Joey Diaz]

I don't know whether to stop this podcast or just call 91 1.

[John Crowley]

Yeah, I mean, gotta make a. Yeah, Pay is good, man.

[Joey Diaz]

What do you make a month over there? You don't mind us asking? You could just. I'm saying.

[John Crowley]

Well, I make money doing the, you know, the Johnny Jizz. It's like I have to ejaculate on women's stuff, right? Yeah. And then. And then on my website afterwards, I auction off the panties. I'm just fucking with you, man.

[Joey Diaz]

I wish you would. Oh, you should have kept going with it because people love Johnny Jizz. People want to know. You never know.

[John Crowley]

I was trying it out.

[Joey Diaz]

Yeah, this is a good idea.

[John Crowley]

I'm going to go with it now.

[Joey Diaz]

No, you do it with your wrestling mask from the 80s.

[John Crowley]

The execution is mask.

[Joey Diaz]

You do that, John.

[John Crowley]

That's it.

[Joey Diaz]

I know you're heavily into music and you started doing fucking art like before COVID and you're like a fucking Picasso. Fun. You're a man of a lot of fucking dimension.

[John Crowley]

A lot of dementia. Oh, that's nice.

[Joey Diaz]

No, no, no. I remember somebody who told me they saw you. This is the last rally sighting. It might be real, it might be fake. Somebody said they saw you working construction in like 85, 80. You wanted to scaffold something in 80s. Yeah, sure, okay. I was right. Somebody. That's the last.

[John Crowley]

Yeah, well, I used to be in.

[Joey Diaz]

Construction and you always stayed in my heart because of all the comedy you brought into my heart when I needed it. Good, good, good. The time you ran around the Leaf feel naked and slid into home.

[John Crowley]

Yep.

[Joey Diaz]

That's brilliant. Brilliant. I was there. I saw with my own eyes. I mean, Crowley was just doing shit like. Listen, man, in those days, I look at kids now and they go to school. And I asked my daughter, how was it today? That fucking school sucks, right? When we went to school, bro, you know, we were talking about Nick's grandfather outside. We went to school. We didn't go to school because we wanted to go to school. We went to school for certain people. Like, for me, I couldn't wait to get into school and hear what Mr. Terranova said, like if you had Mr. Terranova in the fifth period, by the third period he had already insulted somebody and it was already in the airwaves. Did you hear what Mr. T told that Indian shit? No, he didn't. You know what I'm saying? Like it was always something. Like if it wasn't him, it was. Dennis always had a story from what happened before. But number three strong was this guy. Like this guy. I knew that I couldn't miss school because not what was going to happen in school. I was going to get a B anyway. It was what we were going to do after school. And you never knew in those days you went to first period. Because I used to take the CIE work study program. So I would go to first period as long as I took those. And it was two. You stayed in there for 7:30 and 9:45. Then you went to homeroom. At the homeroom. All bets were off at North Bergen in those days. And it could be anything. We used to go. I know for a couple times me and Dennis went in Mr. McGrath's car when he used to fucking be the driver Ed teacher. And the Massey Cadillac gave him two fucking Cadillacs with the pedals and shit. Oh my God. That was like. You went to school, you signed up together. It would be him, Villano, your uncle, and Perry Vigiano. And it started with. They would go to Chance parking lot and then they would stop it like a little before Chance and then a chance. And you would rotate. So everybody would get eight minutes behind the wheel. Then it started. Nice and easy. Mr. McGrath, come on, chance is open. You think we're going there? Get a steak on stick. Jesus fucking Christ. And then it started with the steak on a stick and two bags of steak on a stick. Then there was a liquor store up there. After about a month, these motherfuckers talked them into getting a six pack. We'll drink two beers and go back. Two beers at 10 in the morning. Why? It just didn't matter. And Mr. McGrath would be driving back, fucking furious. Like these motherfuckers. I'll never forget one day I was with Mr. McGrath and that. And we were on 39th and Bergen line in that school car. It was like 3:30 in the afternoon. He goes, take a ride with me. I got in the car with him. He didn't know what I had. I had one of those double barrel shotguns with the spoon at the end. And you put the Coke in and put it and sniff it. Jeez, we're about to cross To Carvel street in the bottom of the barrel. We're about to head to New York Avenue, and he goes to turn the car into park. And the car stalls. Mr. McGrath is losing it. And I'm like, this is a good time for a blast now. I'll never forget putting it in there. He did not see nothing. I just put it in there and I put the thing to my nose and I went. And he looked at me and he goes. He goes, the car is stalled and you want to do a line of coke? Do I need this in my life? That's all he said. And some guy told him to move the car after that, like he was going to go, fuck you. And he's like, did you see what you get to. He was fucking on fire when I did the coke. They did not know how to handle it in those days. Then you had that scumbag, the stage crew that sold weed. We were kids. The stage crew, Mr. Perlman, Mr. Poleman, the Polecat. That motherfucker did not like me. And I used to bust his balls all the time. He hated me. Then I found out he sold weed from Hawaii to everybody. He would sell it to Tip. And I used to torture him. Dawg, when am I getting my end on the weed? I said, not. I'm the mailman at your house with the dea. I used to fuck. He hated me, that motherfucker. I mean, this is like a real high school.

[John Crowley]

It was fun, man. I loved it. I love going to high school.

[Joey Diaz]

And then you had those other lunatics. You were in a different world with the tabucinos. That's a complete different world. We would be getting out of basketball. We just fucking drilled for two hours. You look by the stairs and you see these motherfuckers with, you know, heavy artillery on, running up and downstairs, getting whipped, you know? How hot. How hot was it down there with 2000 fucking degrees down there in a basement?

[John Crowley]

And we used to always have to lose weight.

[Joey Diaz]

Yeah, everybody.

[John Crowley]

We'd always wear. Sweating our asses off. Sometimes lose 10 pounds, sometimes more the day before. You know you're 10 pounds overweight and you gotta work late and not drink.

[Joey Diaz]

That's when I came in with those black beauties and shit. $130. Forget about it. Fucking these motherfuckers. I'd see them on the weekend. Man, you gotta get me more of those fucking things. But we all hung out like the Goomies. I still remember them. Another guy that was a wrestler that I put in my book because he was so Fucking like, I hung out with him behind the scenes. One of the dirtiest fucking people North Bergen ever produced. Mike Denny, the Devil.

[John Crowley]

I. You know what I was with? Down with. I did down the shore with him, right?

[Joey Diaz]

I was a junior.

[John Crowley]

Crystal meth. And we were.

[Joey Diaz]

We, like.

[John Crowley]

I think this was the only time I did it. It was like I felt like I was just. I was. Felt I was floating. Really. It was crazy. But I was like, but there's still.

[Joey Diaz]

Meth hit around that time. That's 80, 81.

[John Crowley]

Yeah, I think it was. I'm pretty sure it was in high school.

[Joey Diaz]

Yeah. Yeah, because I bought it at Meadowlands in.

[John Crowley]

Yeah.

[Joey Diaz]

Christmas Eve. No, the night before Christmas Eve, I bought a gram of speed 65.

[John Crowley]

Yeah, it was crazy.

[Joey Diaz]

And I did it the next morning at school. And I lost. Lost my fucking mind. I'm like, right?

[John Crowley]

So, yeah, that was the only time I ever did.

[Joey Diaz]

It was like, you know, I didn't really. I thought about all you guys for a long time. And then it must have been like. When I went to prison, I was lonely in a cell one day. And fucking Mike Denny came up. And I started hanging out with Mike Lightly before my mother died. And then once my mother died, like maybe six months later. His parents had a. His father had a ship. When a ship docked, they had barnacles on the ship and things. Leaks and things were busting. So Mike Denny's father, with 20 guys would go on that ship. They were union. They make good dough, dog. And they would fucking clean everything and put new parts and whatever. Mike Denny, when I was like a freshman, would call me at night and go, I'll pick you up. Where we going? We're going to this place to dock somewhere like Newark or something. And we'd be there and he'd be stealing. He would steal the plumbing and everything that was getting delivered to the job for his father's job. And he would do this once a fucking week. Like he knew when the big things were coming in, like the holes. I don't know what the fuck you call them guys. I'm no Gilligan. I just know that we were getting like fucking 800 a thing for those. Maybe nine. And he'd give me like 50 bucks. I had a carry him. I'd be sweating. And then he beat you at every level, like there was three of them. That means you got 150. And then you went to the city and you had to go where he bought coke. And the package he gave you was always light. And you always ended up buying $30 extra for his package. He'd talk you into it. This guy was like a fucking devil. And I hung with him for about a year. And we did the creepiest fucking shit. Like, it was always something with theft or beating somebody for drugs. He was always up to something. And then one night, we went to see Aerosmith. I'm lying to you. It could have been Aerosmith or it couldn't have been the B52s. And it was New Year's Eve. And we came back from the city on the bridge. And we hit Kennedy Boulevard. And as we were passing, I don't know, that pizza parlor on the right where I tell you guys to go eat pizza going north on Kennedy Boulevard, Roma. We saw something. We saw, like, smoke. I was tripping my balls off, guys. Mike Denny had the RX7, the Mazda RX7 at the time. And we're fucking driving back and I see smoke, and it's somebody's tires. And dog, when we pull up, these people had clocked that pole in front of me. Reggae's by the Gamio's house. It was a small car, and it had gone into the pole straight. So the pole came through to the windshield. The dude was dead. Like, he was bleeding everywhere. And the chick was yelling, I'll never forget being on acid and getting there. And, like, walking towards the car, scared because my mother had just died. That's how I found my mom, on acid. I'm like, now I'm gonna see some more fucking death. And as I remember walking close, then the fire department came. They would get out of the car. No, they were like, get out of the way. Get out of the way. I got scared. And they had to get on top of the car to see. And the steam was coming out of the fucking engine. It was just scary, guys. And I remember he was like, saying, alcohol. And that night, I made a constant fucking decision that I'm not drinking and driving. And I never did from that night. But on the way home, I go. Every time I'm with this guy, I see bad luck. That's the end of this relationship. He's the devil. And that's why I used to call him the devil. He was the fucking devil.

[John Crowley]

That's. That's. Yeah, I. Well, he wrestled, you know, so that's. So that's how, you know, I. I think it was doing. I. You know, it was so long ago. I think it was during high school, maybe right after when we. When we did this down the shore. And then. And then I. You Know that was it, you know, Hung out a few more times.

[Joey Diaz]

That might have them. I loved them.

[John Crowley]

That might have been the last time I hung.

[Joey Diaz]

I love that.

[John Crowley]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Joey Diaz]

I loved him to death. His brother had the chick that would suck your dick anywhere. Remember Jimmy had no teeth, but he had long hair. And he walked around with a guitar and he'd make believe he was Jimmy Page. And he bumped into this chick that would just suck dick. And she was good looking. She'd be at the high school and guys would say, let's suck dick and whatever. She blew 22 guys one night, right on Kelly Boulevard. Marathon Woman, she sucked like. And I was not there. You know when you're 16 and you want your dick sucked more than ever. And also the next day at school, it's all over the airwaves. Fucking marathon woman sucked 22 dicks last night. You're like, God damn it. I usually walk by that street. That's the only night I walked on. Tunnel Leap, motherfucker.

[John Crowley]

Wasn't your night.

[Joey Diaz]

What do you remember from all that shit, man? All those years? Fun.

[John Crowley]

Oh yeah.

[Joey Diaz]

Sadness. I mean.

[John Crowley]

I loved high school. It was great. High school was great. It's fun, man.

[Joey Diaz]

Then.

[John Crowley]

Looked forward going to high school all the time, you know. So much, so much, so much fun.

[Joey Diaz]

Remember walking Albertson's, stealing a beer across the street, Martin County?

[John Crowley]

I never stole anything.

[Joey Diaz]

Yes, you did. God, you know, there was no security. You could just walk in there at 9:30 and walk. The lady would go, hey, where you going? I'll be back. Call Vinnie, call Vinny. He'll tell you what's going on.

[John Crowley]

Yeah, high school was fun though. But I remember one time. I don't know if you. You. I don't know if you were there, but on this one day I hung I in a plastic bag, right? So I tied it up, right? Then I tied a string to a locker. So I remember Ray, Ray, go. You know, Darren Rago was fucking hysterical, right? So I hung it. I hung it on a locker right from one of the top lockers. And. And dawn, dawn like Reese, you know, what is it? The changing of classes, right? People are all looking at me regal. I don't know if you were there, but people started squeezing it to sit. Was this. They say if it was clay. What the fuck is this?

[Joey Diaz]

So.

[John Crowley]

Oh, that was so funny. And people, you know, like squeezing my. That, you know, excuse my. To see if it was clay. That was great.

[Joey Diaz]

Were you in senior?

[John Crowley]

I. That was. I think it was as junior a senior. That with that one, with that prank. That was. That was one of the better ones. I was. That was a lot of fun. So. Yeah, so that's why, that's. To go, to go to school. That was fun, man. It was, you know.

[Joey Diaz]

Who did you date in those days?

[John Crowley]

Well, when I was a senior. No, no, actually that was Rita Caffiero. I remember Rita Cafiero. Sweet girl. Girl. Roseanne. She was very not, you know, all nice young ladies. And.

[Joey Diaz]

Angel Faran. Wow.

[John Crowley]

Yes.

[Joey Diaz]

She had a brother, Lenny. Yes. Yeah. Lenny Farren. Yes.

[John Crowley]

Yes. I went to.

[Joey Diaz]

We went to the prom.

[John Crowley]

I went to the. I went to the senior prom with her.

[Joey Diaz]

Yeah. You're a trip, brother. Yeah.

[John Crowley]

So high school was the best.

[Joey Diaz]

Yeah. I didn't see you after like 82. Maybe by 81. We lost contact. But I always.

[John Crowley]

We're here now. We're here now.

[Joey Diaz]

Yeah, but I was always tight with Kurt and his family. I mean, today Chris called me from Costa Rica to thank me for tickets. I left for Tommy Kenney. Tommy. Kenny was one of the Irish people that hung out at Kurt D. Lorenzo's house back in the day. And so. That's funny.

[John Crowley]

What's he doing in Costa Rica?

[Joey Diaz]

Getting his dick sucked.

[John Crowley]

Yeah.

[Joey Diaz]

Anything about him?

[John Crowley]

Well, he's on vacation then.

[Joey Diaz]

He goes to Costa Rica every six weeks now. Oh, yeah, him and Eugene. You remember Eugene, his buddy. He had the auto body shot. They're still fucking friends. And now they go to. I think Eugene killed his wife or something. She was found drowning or something. I don't. I don't know.

[John Crowley]

It happens.

[Joey Diaz]

I don't know what happened. And they go to Costa Rica and I guess maybe.

[John Crowley]

I know Eugen.

[Joey Diaz]

Chris met a girl down there. Oh, yeah. And he wants to get a passport. He's trying to talk because I can, you know, ice is all over the place. And you're trying to get a passport for a fucking, you know, Chilean refugee or whatever the fuck is going on here.

[John Crowley]

So I was in Costa, you know what, before my daughter was actually Costa Rica. Before my daughter was born. That was our last. Before, you know, my wife's out of like seven months pregnant, eight months pregnant. That was the last, you know, when she was pregnant. That was. We had to go. That was our last time. We can go before, before she had, you know, before gave birth. So it was in Costa Rica.

[Joey Diaz]

It was.

[John Crowley]

It was very nice. That was. That was first and only time there. It was nice. Very nice.

[Joey Diaz]

Sound like fun?

[John Crowley]

It was great.

[Joey Diaz]

You don't like nobody on fire. Nothing.

[John Crowley]

I did, I did we did. Like somebody else.

[Joey Diaz]

You still think about Kurt? Of course.

[John Crowley]

Yeah.

[Joey Diaz]

What do you. What do you think? You know, we.

[John Crowley]

I got together with him and Louis in Florida. In Florida.

[Joey Diaz]

What year?

[John Crowley]

15, 20 years ago.

[Joey Diaz]

It was a mess. Yeah.

[John Crowley]

We had. It was. It was nice to see.

[Joey Diaz]

No, it was nice.

[John Crowley]

I haven't. Well, that was like 15 or 20 years ago. And then before that. I haven't seen him in 15, 20 years. You know, I get. You know, we used to stay in touch every once in a while.

[Joey Diaz]

I always.

[John Crowley]

Every once in a while I talk to Louie and you know. Yeah, we talk every once in a while. I haven't seen him in a long, long time. But, you know, like, everybody's busy.

[Joey Diaz]

You know, he's having a lot of. I remember me and Louis to go to his house and do coke. And Reagan would knock on the door. We would go, we're not letting Ray go in. Cause Ray go never showed up with a 20. You can't. You gotta cut. You know, we were fucking in high school. I can't keep laying out 25 and 25. And now I'm giving you. Cause one line turns into four. Then what the fuck are we robbing for? You know what I'm saying? Like, I was working at a lumber yard. I don't know what fucking. You know, I don't know what Louie was doing. I was working at Rendell Lumber down on Tunnelly Avenue, right where the Dunkin Donuts is right now, next to Guy Don't. Across the street. That was the North Bergen fucking. If you knew anybody in North Bergen, you just went in there. I need a door. Put it on the arm. Call Joe Mako, Steve Mako. They got everything covered. All the Mako's, in fact. You don't even need to call them. Just Mako. That's it. That's the five digit confirmation code. Just write that down.

[John Crowley]

You know, Peter's doing a. You know Peter Mako, he does a lot of. He's, you know, probably a billionaire now.

[Joey Diaz]

Yeah, he's been buying since we were.

[John Crowley]

He's building all in Jersey City.

[Joey Diaz]

Huge.

[John Crowley]

Yeah, well, it's doing good.

[Joey Diaz]

Didn't he take the sand ball, John? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[John Crowley]

I was down there.

[Joey Diaz]

I met him down there. We were sitting at the bar together. He looked at me. Oh, yeah. I said, I know who you are. My. How long you been out of jail? Oh, my God. He just gave me the. How long you been out of jail? Oh, my God.

[John Crowley]

Oh, my God. Like I said, what?

[Joey Diaz]

Law, Property.

[John Crowley]

My father used to Be his. His a committee man, you know, he was. Yeah, they.

[Joey Diaz]

My.

[John Crowley]

My father was big in politics for. For a little while and then he was. My father was his right hand man for a while, and then he was the local. Uh, yeah, he was the committee man. And we campaigned for Marco with that microphone closer. Yeah, he used to campaign for the mic. Speak it to the mic, babe. And then. And then I remember my father got all like. I remember my father told me the story like he was. My father was giving a speech and he's like these and all that, you know, some. Some not unlike something you would say. So.

[Joey Diaz]

And then.

[John Crowley]

And then my father said, yeah, John, you got to. You got to tone down, you know. I told my father, you. You know, you're good, excited, but you can't say cocksucker.

[Joey Diaz]

Now, was your dad down by Kennedy? He was a committee man. Down. Yeah, down. Yeah, down.

[John Crowley]

Yeah, we. We lived on 9th street, you know.

[Joey Diaz]

You know, I was just thinking about another wrestling story we used to buy. You know, we. When we were younger, we experimented with a lot of this is just to let you know the depth of the wrestling team and my relationship. And this guy was a state champion. You had Rene Quintero, who was a fucking animal when he was a sophomore. First time I saw Renee, he was beating Gizzy up. Not Charlie, a brother banging his head off a fucking metal bumper in front of fucking five corners. I'm like, that's my guy right there. He was 15. Maybe he was 15. Fucking teen. And the other brother of mine that I had from wrestling was Jimmy Lebrano. That motherfucker was a Savage, too.

[John Crowley]

Yeah, LeBron. Oh, yeah.

[Joey Diaz]

Both of them. I think both of them wrestled. Mike and Jimmy.

[John Crowley]

Yeah, Mike.

[Joey Diaz]

But me and Jimmy used to do crazy shit, you know, like we were the ones.

[John Crowley]

That's North Bergen.

[Joey Diaz]

We didn't tell people what we were doing. Like, him and I had a pack. Like, we just. There was shit we did that we didn't want anybody else to know because it would have a heart attack. So me and Jimmy bought a $10 bag of THC crystal from 22nd street and New York Avenue, that bar across the street from the funeral parlor that used to be a hot fucking bar dog. You'd get shot in there, stabbed, but you got everything you wanted. Right in the heart of Union City. We would go down there, like on a Tuesday night and buy a $10 bet. And we would do like two little peas. And Beth fucked up and saved the rest for school. And that's Gumby Dust Guys, that's gumby dust. There ain't no coming back. So we did it after school, and he forgot he had a wrestling match. Tell him to tell you the story. He'll tell you tonight because he's right around the corner. George will take you to see him. Fucking. He was wrestling. I guess the kid did something to him, flipped him and almost beat him with this move. And Jimmy was so fucking high, he just bit the motherfucker. He just bit him and got disqualified. And afterward, he came up to me and pushed me because of you. You gave me that shit. I forgot. How can you forget you're in a fucking wrestling match? But it got out. Somebody said something. Jimmy wasn't acting normal. I remember, like, three people came and talked to us and said, what the fuck are you guys doing? Because we were on a different level. I still remember us being sophomores and doing coke in Mr. Zink's class. Fuck does that. You gotta be a fucking animal. Yes. Like, pass the bag to each other. And then Mr. Zink, if you looked at his back, he had snots on his back. Because every day I wiped the snot on his fucking back. And he wore the jacket every fucking day. That's insane. It's insane how we grew up, but I'm grateful. I don't give a fuck what anybody says. I've had arguments with people and they've had judgment about how we grew up. And they said we're liars and shit. We just grew up on a different fucking planet, man. It was a different fucking planet. I bumped into a guy the other night at Uncle Vinny's. Motherfucker took me to see the Stones in Foreigner when I was in the eighth grade. Like, I just graduated and then gave me a hit of acid. He was with Vinnie Lynch. They gave me a hit of window pain. Acid. Who does that to an 8th grader? Welcome to North Bergen, motherfuckers. You want to party with the big boys? I remember that. We had a hotel room and I wouldn't leave. I didn't want to go out there. And when I walked into that Philadelphia stadium, I almost died. And Foreigner was on stage. And that's what calmed my nerves. You're as cold as ice.

[John Crowley]

I don't know if I ever got to see Farah.

[Joey Diaz]

They opened for the Stones.

[John Crowley]

Oh, yeah.

[Joey Diaz]

Yeah. You know, a long fucking time ago, there was maybe their first album. Yeah, it had to be the first album. Yeah. Because the other one wasn't out yet. That's Dun dun dun dun dun dun. That's War of the Worlds and all that shit. You do me a favor, nephew number one, and you get John Crowley's beautiful artworks where he could show America and put them towards John Crowley's Instagram so he could sell some of his fucking art. Sure. Hey, John, you know how I do it?

[Lee Syatt]

Put it between you guys.

[Joey Diaz]

Johnny Jizz.

[John Crowley]

Johnny Jizz.

[Joey Diaz]

Look at this beautiful picture. Look at this, ladies and gentlemen. This is John Crowley's impersonation of me. Shut up. Interpretation. What happened was. And this is a beautiful thing, he looked at a picture of me at the stress factory in Jersey. But in his mind, he remembered me looking. That's why I looked like an 82. Mouth open, Coke coming out of the left nostril, all fucked up, beady eyes, looking at your wallet, looking at your gold chain.

[John Crowley]

And you're welcome.

[Joey Diaz]

You're going to sign it for me, John Crowley, AKA Johnny Jizz. I'm saying, you know what?

[John Crowley]

You see the shiny coating on here? I just. On it.

[Joey Diaz]

Okay. There you go.

[John Crowley]

I'm just kidding.

[Joey Diaz]

Ooh, tremendous. Who? Ammonia.

[John Crowley]

Yeah.

[Joey Diaz]

So this is beautiful, brother.

[John Crowley]

Yes.

[Joey Diaz]

You're a true fucking artist. You're free. What happened to the other arm?

[John Crowley]

Well, I took it from a picture on the Internet.

[Joey Diaz]

Okay.

[John Crowley]

And so. Came out pretty good.

[Joey Diaz]

I think we're hanging in the studio or in my home. What do you suggest, John Crowley? Well, you.

[John Crowley]

This studio is so nice. I mean. I mean, whatever you want, we'll put.

[Joey Diaz]

It at the studio, wherever you.

[John Crowley]

I think it's a. I think it's a studio piece. Yeah, this is a. Love the studio, dude. It's really nice. Really cool.

[Joey Diaz]

Uncle George designed everything. He's the master plan here.

[John Crowley]

It's really nice.

[Joey Diaz]

When George retires, I'm going to try that. We're going to become partners on the theater, and George is going to be the artistic art director. That's what he does.

[John Crowley]

No, it's.

[Joey Diaz]

Yeah, he's done a great job with this. Except for the drums. That's the only thing I still can't figure out, why the drums are here. And a bicycle from 1922, you know.

[John Crowley]

Oh, you've been riding the bike or.

[Joey Diaz]

Yeah, every day. You got to see me. Yeah. The stairs. I ride down the stairs.

[John Crowley]

Oh, yeah.

[Joey Diaz]

Like Pookie and New Jack.

[Lee Syatt]

Do we have two seconds before we have to go?

[Joey Diaz]

Yeah. Just in case. All right.

[Lee Syatt]

Do we have two seconds to tell one story from this weekend?

[Joey Diaz]

Were you. Unfortunately, every fucking time I leave here and I look to the left and I see the drum kit, I don't even say no. Didn't I just go, you know what? It's George. But hit it, Lee. Give him the story.

[Lee Syatt]

I just. It was a great end to the weekend, but the one thing I was worried about was like, because Joey will leave people. He's like. The first time he took me anywhere, he warned me, because you write, you remind me on the plane you had a. Like a wrap it up. Sort of like wrap it up. So I never left. I went to the Comedy Store a thousand times. So, like, no one performed. Because I would see. No, I'd seen one person before.

[Joey Diaz]

You.

[Lee Syatt]

You get up and then you'd walk directly to the car. And so I was ready to go. But then as we, like, as we were leaving, someone said George had to return a ticket.

[Joey Diaz]

No, I got up and we're all leaving and we're walking. I'm looking at everybody, I'm like, what the fuck? I go, where's George? And Fuso goes, I don't know. He went to hand in a winning lottery ticket. I go, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. He's been sitting here for three fucking hours. And now everybody knew at 11 o' clock that we're leaving. Now when he decides. And again, this is George 100%, I ain't gonna be mad at him. But what George didn't know was, I'm leaving, okay? Like, we were by the door. If I was to look and that fucking George wouldn't have been there. You would have been taking an Uber, George. And I'm sorry, but you know the rules. Wrap it up. You had all week. If it was something urgent I could see, but you had three hours. You were back there talking to fucking the chef and asking creepy questions. And where are you from? Who gives a fuck, Jordan, just watch the register.

[Lee Syatt]

And I was gonna say it wasn't that much money. It was like $80.

[Joey Diaz]

But I understand, listen, and I don't.

[Lee Syatt]

Wanna leave $80 behind either.

[Joey Diaz]

I could use the $80, okay? Every. Everybody could use $80. This is a tank of. You go fill up your tank lately.

[Lee Syatt]

I know, but what about.

[Joey Diaz]

Did I come home and every day they're like, the Jersey gas has been at its lowest. $60. Every time I pull in there. Every time you pull in. And I'm cheap, I get regular. They're like, you got to put and do this. You put. You put it in your car. $8 a gallon has been put through hell. But you have a high density. Yeah, good. Put the fucking regular. See if it don't get me there fucking People. John, I want to thank you in public. Penn Dennis, who's also here, for bringing a lot of laughter to my life when I was a kid, because I was never gonna kill myself, but dog was I fucking close some days. And you and Louie and fucking, you know, fucking. We got a guy in the room, Dennis, who's been on the church before, but I remember just wanting to go to homeroom. Like, if I went to homeroom and Dennis wasn't in homeroom, I was sad because I knew I was going to get one fucking laugh out of him that was going to be fucking hysterical. And my favorite one was when the teacher would go, dennis, you weren't here for the last three days. I need a note. And he'd go, I'll whip one up in a second. Till this fucking day, that was. You understand, guys, in those days, Those are my little victories, you know? Cause when you get up in the morning, you got. You got a mom. You reach, she ain't there. It ain't gonna get no better. You know what I'm saying? Like, it don't get no better. So I still had to walk that hill and still got that number one. That number one was your first source of entertainment. Am I lying? How many times you take the number one? Or did your dad, the councilman, drive you to fucking school? How many times did you take that number one, Dennis? A million times at seven in the morning when you went to the back and Jersey City had the junkies, that was a junk spot right next to the thing. So that was entertainment on the way up. And then when you caught that bus on the way down after basketball practice and the wrestlers were on the bus and some of the track guys and some of the lifters, bro, that bus driver was always in danger. And then you drove past the Blue Flame, and that's where the projects hung out, so they would throw snowballs and spears and fucking rocks at the buses. What's up, Lee? You're looking confused as a motherfucker.

[Lee Syatt]

I'm good, dude.

[Joey Diaz]

You good? How's that edible treating you?

[Lee Syatt]

You know exactly how it's treating you.

[Joey Diaz]

We're gonna do another one before we're gonna eat some lemon, by the way. Let me tell you something. Today we have a special night. We're gonna do our first NFL, but you guys could. Whatever. You'll find out later. It's too late now, but we got it. Sponsored by Rudy's Seafood up on Anderson Avenue. One of my favorite fucking restaurants where I give my loyalty to. They hooked us up with some chicken francaise and some beautiful pasta with butter. By now, it's like a little jello. You just mix that motherfucker up. You could smell the cholesterol in the air. You know what I'm saying? It's a beautiful thing. So when you get a minute, go over to Rudy's on Cliffside Park. Rudy's Seafood. As I was leaving today, some kid came up to me. He goes, I came here because of you. I can't believe I bumped into you here. You made my day, you know, I'm like, hey, man, thank you for fucking coming to Rudy's. He goes, it was delicious. I got mussels. Oh, they're special tonight. Did you see the fucking special in gnocchi with the fucking cream sauce and the peas? And they got soup. They got everything tonight. So they're back. Rudy's is back.

[John Crowley]

All right, all right.

[Joey Diaz]

So John Crowley. What's your Instagram and website?

[John Crowley]

Crowley, the artist on Instagram.

[Joey Diaz]

Okay.

[John Crowley]

Yeah. And that's for my art. And then John the Carnivore for. I produce music, though.

[Joey Diaz]

So we'll get to the music next time. We got to wrap this up.

[John Crowley]

Sounds good.

[Joey Diaz]

Monday Night Football. But, John, when you showed up to the dojo that night, I was so happy on the ride home. Yes, it was fun and it just made my fucking world because we went out to dinner the other night. There's not a lot of us left. A lot of us are dead. A lot of these motherfuckers. And for me, a dentist, just to be alive. And George, Jesus fucking Christ. Lee's all right. Lee went through a little Vietnam in la, but he didn't go through a little Vietnam. But John, you're always welcome on the show.

[John Crowley]

I love it. Thank you for having me. This is.

[Joey Diaz]

I'm sure before you leave, my brother will offer you retail art space at a studio.

[John Crowley]

Okay?

[Joey Diaz]

You could sell your art over there.

[John Crowley]

Sounds great.

[Joey Diaz]

You know what I'm saying? So just letting you know, it's a beautiful fucking night. That's my boy. Choice. Great. We're going to revamp the fucking All Star frame. And we got to do some things. That's it. Things are happening. So now you're the next project that we got to work on. So thank you very much, Lee. Give me the dates. Cocksucker. Bam.

[Lee Syatt]

Wednesday, Jake's last resort at 8:30. And then on Friday, I'll be in Yeardley, Pennsylvania, at the Chilany Farm, or it's the Funny Farm show. And then midnight, I'll be back in the city at Bedford Falls.

[Joey Diaz]

Listen, Lee Synth had the set of his life on Saturday night in front of beautiful people. And Saturday night next week. But next week he's performing a bunch of farmers. They're going to show up to pay tickets with fucking potatoes and corn. It's a farmer's market. Lee don't even know it yet. Once Lee says, I'm Jewish. Jewish? Ain't no Jewish. We're Amish motherfuckers. Lee's gonna get in that car and say, fucking Joey Diaz, he ruined me now. No, I can't be doing these potato farms and shit.

[Lee Syatt]

I'll do everything and then. Yes. Thank you, Nick.

[Joey Diaz]

Thank you, brother.

[Lee Syatt]

September 26th, I'll be at the Dojo, headlining.

[Joey Diaz]

Headlining the Dojo of death. And I'm trying to get. I'm trying to get hooked up on 24 September at the levity Live in Nyack, New York, motherfuckers. Yeah. I'll keep you cocksuckers on point. And that's it. And that's that. We love you. Have a great week and we'll be back, bitches. Yeah. It.