← The Church of What's Happening Now: The New Testament
The Church of What's Happening Now: The New Testament
The worst thing in life is wasted talent with Chazz Palminteri
01:34:48
Oscar award winning actor, Chazz Palminteri joins Joey DIaz and Lee Syatt to talk about how The Bronx Tale went from a one man show into the hottest property in Hollywood, The UFC and MMA, why Chazz is fasicnated with stand up, and much more! Support...
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- [00:00]
Joey Diaz
What's happening, you savages? Uncle Joey here. It's Tuesday, the 18th of February. The day the devil was buried at sea. We got a tremendous show for you. Now let's get this party started. Hey, Uncle Joey here. Listen. It's time to get that dick in proper working order. It's February already, you know what I'm saying? Valentine's Day is past, but it's a long year. You gotta sling dick on a daily with these animals out there. Bluechew can make it happen. Their online service delivers ED meds straight to your door with the same active ingredients as Viagra and Cialis, but at a fraction of the cost and in chewable form. What does that mean? You could be anywhere, drinking a glass of vino. You see one of your little girls over by the corner, she's playing hard to get. You pop a Blue Chew, you wiggle over and you're ready to rock and roll. You know what I'm saying? Blue Chew has everything you need to spice up the bedroom. Even if your thing is working right, you got to have extra ammunition. Sometimes the communists just come out of the trees. You know what I'm saying? Buchu tablets are made in the US Of A. Jack, and the whole process is taken care of online. So you don't need to make an appointment, you don't need to sit with creepy people, you don't need to go to the pharmacy, nothing like that. Me personally, I love blue chew. I'm 62. I don't need the medication. But let me tell you something. Like I said, you got to get all your bullets in order and you got to bring extras. Nowadays, you take a tablet any time of the day and you get ready for a great time. I don't care if it's in the morning. At night you're going to feel tip top, Magoo. Now make life easier by getting harder and discover your options@bluechew.com and we got a special deal for the listeners ready try get your first month of Bluechew for free. That's right. It's Tuesday. I'm showing up with a gift. You little bitches. Just visit bluechew.com for more details and important safety information. And I want to thank Bluechew for sponsoring the show and helping you motherfuckers sling dick like you're supposed to. Like God intended. You know what I'm saying?
- [02:09]
Chazz Palminteri
Welcome back to church.
- [02:29]
Joey Diaz
We're back. It's a beautiful Tuesday morning to be alive. February 18th. We got a special guest, Mr. Chaz Palminteri. Academy Award winner, fucking diver. Everything. He's done it all. Producer, the whole thing. And we got Lee Syed over here. What's going on?
- [02:49]
Lee Syed
And he owns a restaurant. I was looking. I was watching some movies this weekend, and I looked. I just typed in your name. And I live in the city. And it was like, chaz Palminteri. And I was like, oh, shit, the menu looks Great.
- [02:58]
Chazz Palminteri
Italian restaurants, 30 West 46th Street. Chaz Palmetary is at 264 Main Street.
- [03:04]
Lee Syed
Jesus, you do everything. I didn't. And by the way, not. And sorry to start off like this. I had no idea that the Bronx tale was like your story.
- [03:14]
Chazz Palminteri
Yeah, that's. Well, my real name. My real name is Calodro. And it's. It's about this killing that I saw and I wrote it. And Robert De Niro saw it, you know, before it was a movie. Yeah.
- [03:24]
Lee Syed
Holy shit.
- [03:25]
Joey Diaz
Yeah.
- [03:26]
Chazz Palminteri
It was a crazy story, man. Everybody wanted it, but nobody would give me. I had $200 in the bank. They offered me one up to over a million dollars. And I. And I said no, because I could. They wouldn't let me play the part. They wouldn't let me write it. And then one day, Robert De Niro walked into the theater. The crowd stood up and then I got off stage and they said, De Niro's in your dressing room. I said, all right. Wow. Robert De Niro. And I said, yeah. I walked in there and Bob was sitting there and he said, look, I know what's going on. And he said, I think you should play Sonny and you should write it. Cause it'll be honest and you should direct it. I said, you should play Sonny and you should write it. He goes, I'll direct it and I'll play your father. And that's how it happened, you know.
- [04:12]
Joey Diaz
Why A one man show. What year did this all start?
- [04:15]
Chazz Palminteri
I started writing it, Joey, in 1988. In 1988, I started writing because I couldn't get a big break. I was getting. I was on Hill Street Blues. I was on Madlock. I was on Dallas. I was getting guest star roles, but I just wanted more. I wanted to be in movies. It was very hard. It's very difficult. And then finally I said, well, if I write something, I was at the lowest of my career because I ran out of money then. And I just said, saddest thing in life is wasted talent, man. I'm not gonna waste my talent. So I said, I'm going to write about this killing that I saw. And I started writing about it. And I performed that on stage first. It was like five minutes and I did it. And the place just. My theater just went crazy. And each week I would write more and more and then I would perform it on Monday nights. Then I would take five minutes out of the 10 minutes, you know, like a comic does. Yeah, you know, same thing. Just workshopping, workshopping. And at the end of a year, I had 90 minutes of a fucking tight show, man. Really tight. I borrowed some money off a friend of mine, I put it up. The fucking reviews were outrageous. All of Hollywood kept coming. The theater, with the theater. It was only a 99 seat theater. We had to get out of there. The crowds were too big. We moved into a 400 seat theater and even that was too small. But I stayed there and everybody came to see it. Nicholson came, Pacino came, Burt Reynolds came. Robert Redford came. They all wanted to play Sonny, you know, And I was like, no, I play Sonny. And they kept offering more money. Then it went up to over a million dollars. And I still kept saying, no, I'm not doing it. Then one night, Robert De Niro saw it and I went in the back and he said, man, this is a great movie, man. He said, you did the whole movie on stage? I said, yeah, that was my idea. Instead of people reading it, I wanted you to see it. And Bob did it and changed my life, man.
- [06:21]
Joey Diaz
Now how come there are no more one man shows now besides yours? Nobody else is doing a one man show anymore.
- [06:29]
Chazz Palminteri
It's really. First of all, it's really, really hard. A one man show, A good one man show. But most one man shows are not good. They're just pontificating, you know. Yeah. You know, my mother had cancer and then I did. You know, it's always. It's not. It's hard. See mine, mine is not really a one man show. It's a linear story. It's a movie. You know, like a comic goes up there and he's funny. He talks about this, then he talks about that. Drink some water. My show was not like that. My show was straight through without stopping, all the scenes of A Bronx Tale. I do different.
- [07:09]
Lee Syed
Well, like I didn't. Is that a normal way? Like the way you wrote and workshopped? No, originally. Because that sounds like that's how comics do it. That's how like they. It was. It's. I've never heard of an actor doing anything like that.
- [07:23]
Chazz Palminteri
Yeah, I mean, no, I did it. I figured I'd just keep trying stuff out and my. Because I Had a. I had an audience every Monday night at my theater. So I would keep trying it out. So I. You know how it is, you know, on stage, something's working, something's night. I would tape everything. I had a cassette play, and I would tape everything. And then I. I would say this work. And then you hear comments from the audience. You know, oh, I didn't like this. I didn't like that. And once in a while, somebody says a great idea, and you go, well, that's a good idea. And you. You incorporate that, you know? So at the end of a year, I had a fucking really tight show, but still, I didn't know if it worked because I never did it straight through. But then when I did it, the fucking crowds just went. Joey, it was a phenomenon. It only happened twice in Hollywood, twice in the history of Hollywood, Sylvester Stallone and me. That's it. Where it was insane. I mean, I had producers following me to the men's room, in restaurants, in the men's room. You know Al Ruddy, the guy who. Al Ruddy, great. Al Ruddy, I love him. I got to know him really well after I met him. I was taking a leak in the urinal. The guy comes right up next to me at the Palm in Beverly Hills, and he goes, you Chaz, Palm of Terry. I'm looking at him going, yeah. He goes, I just saw it two days ago. Fucking love it. I'll write you out a check for a million dollars. What do you think? And I'm going, I. I really can't talk right now, you know? So I said, you got to call my agents and. And we'll work it out. He goes, I'm telling you right now. I said, al, call the agents. You know, it was crazy. It was. Joey, it was crazy. Burt Reynolds wanted to take me out to dinner. Everybody wanted to take me out to dinner, but they wanted that role. And I said, nah, Nope. No fucking way. And then when I met Stallone, because I did a movie with Stallone right before that, I told him what was going. He said, I heard about what's going on with you. I said, yes, Lion, I want to. I actually thanked him because I said, you did it before me. And so you made me believe that it can't happen. And he said, if you believe it. Hold on. And I said, all right, I am. And I did.
- [09:33]
Joey Diaz
You just kept saying, no, fuck them.
- [09:36]
Chazz Palminteri
You know, Joey, people say, how could you turn down over a million dollars with $200 in the bank? And you know what I say? The first offer was the hardest. And as people who grew up like we did, the first offer was 250 after two weeks of doing it. And to me, that was like. That came out of nowhere. 250,000. I was like, can I call you? Can I speak to you tomorrow? I was a little, like, shook up by it. And then I hung up. And he. I said. I called my parents and they said, well, what do you want, son? I said, look, I really want to play the part. I don't want to give up. They said, don't worry about us. If you're worried about us, we'll be fine. Because I wanted to take care of them, you know. And then I said, fuck it. I'm not doing it. And once I made up my mind, then it was just numbers. 500. Yeah. 750. It did, fucking me. The 250 was the hardest. A million. Million, too. I'm going, yeah, but can I play the part? I said, no fucking way. I'm doing it. And everybody in Hollywood said, you're going to blow it. They're going to walk away. I said, no fucking way. They are, because there's too many people who wanted it. I'm not exaggerating. Every number one director, every producer, every studio head, every main actor wanted this part. Were chasing me down.
- [11:03]
Joey Diaz
It was crazy, you know, it's crazy that you. As you were telling the story, I was thinking about Frank Pesch, 29th Street.
- [11:10]
Chazz Palminteri
Yeah.
- [11:11]
Joey Diaz
How That's a fucking great story.
- [11:13]
Chazz Palminteri
Great story.
- [11:14]
Joey Diaz
Great story. And he sold it. But they had the Australian play him, right? What the fuck? They gave him a role as the brother.
- [11:22]
Chazz Palminteri
Yes.
- [11:23]
Joey Diaz
He was still in the movie. Yeah, but they gave it to Lampaglia. Anthony Lampaglia.
- [11:28]
Chazz Palminteri
Anthony Lapaglia, who was. Anthony Lapaglia, is very good. But. He's very good. And he is Australian. But he's very. He is Italian because a lot of Italians in Australia.
- [11:35]
Joey Diaz
He got mugged in Beverly Hills.
- [11:36]
Chazz Palminteri
He did.
- [11:37]
Joey Diaz
He was telling me one time, he's a good guy. He was walking and they pulled up with a gun.
- [11:41]
Chazz Palminteri
Yeah.
- [11:41]
Joey Diaz
And said, give me your money. He's like, what? He's Beverly Hills, right?
- [11:45]
Chazz Palminteri
No, no, no. But, you know. But I always tell people, unless you had something like Stallone on myself, it's better to sell it if it's only. If only two people want it. It's hard to be really. Stand by your guns. But I had everybody wanted. It's a little different. So what happened to me? What happened to Sly? We. In fact, he says it too. It Was. It was an anomaly. It was an aberration. It doesn't happen. It just. The stars were right or whatever and it just, it just was right.
- [12:18]
Lee Syed
Man, are you like, are you paranoid at all? Like, for me, I'm thinking back then before, like the Internet. Like, I know that you could have proved that you had the script, but they could have ripped you off and written a movie like it and then put it out. Like, did that cross your mind at all?
- [12:34]
Chazz Palminteri
No. No, because you can't. You could write something similar. But I. But they saw it. You see, this is different. This was not reading it. They. And all the reviews were like the New York Times. The LA Times was like one of the greatest. I've a genesis of a, of an, of an Academy Award movie. I mean, it was just like they wanted this movie and they wouldn't leave me the alone, man. I was blessed, you know. It was great.
- [13:04]
Lee Syed
What does that feel like after you have to say.
- [13:06]
Chazz Palminteri
But you know my Lord savior, Jesus Christ, he was right there. He's the one who. I put his hand on my shoulder and said, hang in there, kid. And I hung in there and that.
- [13:16]
Lee Syed
Because, I mean, after, like for even the money sounds great, but like being like a. Not, I don't want to say struggling, but being an up and coming, a struggling actor, to have everybody like, like you now you're the most popular guy. Yes, that must have. That must feel great just in itself, even without the money.
- [13:34]
Chazz Palminteri
Yes. I went to. I went to a shrink. Oh yeah? I went to a shrink. I'm not fucking around. I went to the number one shrink in Hollywood. His name was Dr. Phil. Stan. He's on Netflix. They did a special on him. He's the number one shrink, the greatest shrink in the world. In the world. And I found out and he took me and I walked in. He goes, I'll never forget it. He says, why do you want to. Everything all right? I go, yeah. He goes, why do you want to see me? I go, I'm about to come really famous and I want to make sure I don't fuck it up. And he said, he looked at me and said, nobody ever did that to me before. I says, I'm serious. And you know What? I was 39 years old and I was. Been around a long time and it still took me back. I mean, I was like, whoa, whoa, what the fuck? From. From literally an unknown actor. I mean, I was on Broadway before that in the early 80s. An unknown actor too. I'm on fucking huge billboards all over the world with Robert De Niro. And people are just, you know, it is all of a sudden, you know, I mean, I was. I did all right with girls, but now every fucking supermodel wants to talk to you. Everybody wants to meet you. Everybody wants to be in the Chaz Palmitari business, as they tell the agents.
- [14:55]
Lee Syed
Right?
- [14:56]
Chazz Palminteri
It's insane. So I had to grab a hold of myself. And I wasn't married. I wasn't married, so I was okay. But it was. And I talked it over with my shrink, and he said, anybody who's famous before the age of 30, it's a crime. You can't do it. You just can't do it. I mean, I had to hold on, like in a chair because it's fucking scary, man. You're broke and now you're getting millions of dollars for movies. Now your face, and it's like, what the fuck is this?
- [15:34]
Lee Syed
Well, I don't have it in front of me, but I was. Because I was looking you up yesterday. Didn't you have, like. Wasn't like, there a run of Bullets over Broadway?
- [15:43]
Joey Diaz
Usual.
- [15:44]
Lee Syed
The Bronx. Yeah, the Bronx Tale and the usual suspects. Like, back to back. Like three to three. Like three of the top movies ever.
- [15:50]
Chazz Palminteri
Three back to back to back to back. And it was like. Forget it. It was fucking crazy. It was. I'm telling you, it was crazy.
- [15:59]
Joey Diaz
Now, from the time De Niro told you that. In the green room.
- [16:03]
Chazz Palminteri
Yeah.
- [16:05]
Joey Diaz
To this time to get on set, how long?
- [16:09]
Chazz Palminteri
Well, he had two movies that he told me he had to do, he was committed to. It was two years. He said, just wait. Yeah, just wait. It was brutal. Oh, it was brutal. But you know what? It was okay because I was. I got paid. So I had a few million dollars in the bank.
- [16:29]
Joey Diaz
Oh, they paid you already?
- [16:30]
Chazz Palminteri
Oh, they paid me.
- [16:31]
Joey Diaz
Oh, then them. Don't call back. Don't even call it over.
- [16:35]
Lee Syed
I'd like to come out first.
- [16:37]
Chazz Palminteri
Yeah. I got paid everything except my. When I was going to be the actor, right. So I got over a million dollars as the writer. So that was good. So I waited. So I had all this money, so I had a new car, and I'm living in la. I'm doing a movie with De Niro in a little while. So I'm, you know. Yeah, I'm flying, man.
- [16:55]
Lee Syed
And am I wrong, or did Bullets Over Broadway come out first?
- [16:59]
Chazz Palminteri
No, bullet. Bullets over came out after Bronx, though.
- [17:02]
Lee Syed
Oh, it did. Okay.
- [17:03]
Chazz Palminteri
It did. Oh, yeah. And then I had another one, Jade and that.
- [17:07]
Joey Diaz
Yes, I saw that.
- [17:08]
Chazz Palminteri
And Jade I mean, I was on.
- [17:10]
Joey Diaz
A street with Red Dog.
- [17:11]
Chazz Palminteri
Yes.
- [17:12]
Joey Diaz
From csi.
- [17:13]
Chazz Palminteri
Yeso.
- [17:16]
Joey Diaz
And so Stallone's wife.
- [17:18]
Chazz Palminteri
Yes. Well, that's his way. His girlfriend. Yeah. I forgot.
- [17:22]
Joey Diaz
Flavor.
- [17:24]
Chazz Palminteri
Yes.
- [17:24]
Joey Diaz
Isn't she the model in that movie?
- [17:26]
Chazz Palminteri
Yeah.
- [17:26]
Joey Diaz
Jade. Yeah.
- [17:27]
Chazz Palminteri
Yes. I forgot. Yeah, she was great. Yeah. Linda Fantino, Linda Fortino.
- [17:32]
Joey Diaz
And where the fuck is Linda Fiorentino?
- [17:36]
Chazz Palminteri
Leave me alone. Leave me alone with that. I'm so aggravated with her.
- [17:40]
Joey Diaz
Where is she?
- [17:41]
Chazz Palminteri
If you're listening, Linda, listen to me. This girl is a fucking star.
- [17:46]
Joey Diaz
A star.
- [17:47]
Chazz Palminteri
She's a great actor. And I've been telling her for years, but every time she gets close, she goes, ah, I don't want this. And she tells people to go fuck themselves.
- [17:57]
Joey Diaz
She made that movie with. About Madonna, right? Crazy for you.
- [18:01]
Chazz Palminteri
Yeah, she's. Linda is good looking. The Last seduction. Yeah, she. She's so great. I wanted to come out of retirement. I hope she didn't retire. She's so great, so wonderful, so sexy and hot and she should be out there. But, you know, some people, some people, they don't want it. I don't know. She annoys me with that. Linda, if you hear this, you're pissing me off.
- [18:26]
Joey Diaz
Yeah, me too.
- [18:27]
Chazz Palminteri
Somebody tell her you got to come back. Really? She's great.
- [18:31]
Joey Diaz
So for two years, it's like when you get the call that you got the movie.
- [18:35]
Chazz Palminteri
Yeah.
- [18:36]
Joey Diaz
Like, that's why I hate when they call you and they go, this movie's shooting in June. Go fuck yourself. I'm old school. Tell me when it's shooting. You want me to audition now, right? It's shooting in March.
- [18:45]
Chazz Palminteri
No, I had to wait two years.
- [18:46]
Joey Diaz
Oh, my God. Because that. You go to wardrobe, and then now you got. Now in today's world, back then you didn't have it. Now you gotta look over social media.
- [18:56]
Chazz Palminteri
Yeah.
- [18:56]
Joey Diaz
That you don't tell somebody. Fuck you on social media, because as you're getting hired, they'll fire you.
- [19:01]
Chazz Palminteri
Yeah.
- [19:01]
Joey Diaz
Because you told somebody, go fuck yourself.
- [19:03]
Chazz Palminteri
Right.
- [19:03]
Joey Diaz
So the whole time you're always like, when am I gonna get fired? Like, that's the way I think when I go to a movie, if I have a long time on a movie, I'm like, ah, I'm gonna get fired.
- [19:14]
Chazz Palminteri
Well, you gonna say something or do something?
- [19:16]
Joey Diaz
Both. Both. So I might as well just. I want to shoot it out and get out.
- [19:22]
Chazz Palminteri
Yeah.
- [19:22]
Joey Diaz
Yeah. Like, you know, like I worked with Tracy Morgan.
- [19:25]
Chazz Palminteri
Yeah.
- [19:25]
Joey Diaz
And you know Tracy, he's fucking out of his mind.
- [19:28]
Chazz Palminteri
Yes.
- [19:28]
Joey Diaz
And I'll never forget that I asked Adam, why'd you shoot Tracy out so fast? He goes, tracy's that funny. Plus, you don't want him around. And I never forgot that.
- [19:38]
Chazz Palminteri
Yeah.
- [19:39]
Joey Diaz
And then I saw how the girl treated him on that show 30 Rock. 30 Rock, yeah, the pilot of that.
- [19:45]
Chazz Palminteri
How did she treat him?
- [19:46]
Joey Diaz
She treated him just like that. He's a dangerous guy, really. Like, not dangerous in the sense that he's gonna do something to you. He's just dangerously fucking funny. Anybody who tells a woman, smell my finger, smells like rape, that type of shit. You don't want them around that long on the set.
- [20:03]
Chazz Palminteri
Yeah.
- [20:03]
Joey Diaz
So they get on the set at 7, shoot them and get them the fuck out of there by 10, right? And you live your life the rest of the day. You're not gonna cap if. The longer you have them sitting back there, it's animals like that, like me. The longer you have me sitting back there, the more you got me brewing. And if that room ain't got windows, like, I learned that I gotta sit somewhere where it has windows, right? If I'm in there for too long, and I don't mind smoking a joint, reading the book for six hours, right. I got nothing against that.
- [20:33]
Chazz Palminteri
Right.
- [20:34]
Joey Diaz
That you're paying me for the day. I don't give a. If you shoot me last. But. But my advice to you is, you don't want me. You don't want me back there. Just get me the. Out of there early, you know, I'll wait. I don't give a. Yeah, get me out because.
- [20:49]
Chazz Palminteri
Yeah.
- [20:50]
Joey Diaz
What's that expression? The idle mind is a devil's worship.
- [20:54]
Chazz Palminteri
Yeah. I don't mind.
- [20:55]
Joey Diaz
And that's. That's with me.
- [20:58]
Chazz Palminteri
Yeah.
- [20:58]
Joey Diaz
Once I get bored, I'm like, you know, So I just want to shoot it out with Tracy with Dirty Rock. If you see the pilot while he was talking to her, he made him. He made her take him to a strip club. In the pilot, while she waited outside, he. She was talking to him, like, convincing him to be on the show. He's like, I don't know. Let me give this another dollar. You gotta watch the pile.
- [21:22]
Chazz Palminteri
Oh, my God.
- [21:23]
Joey Diaz
And that's when I realized animals like that, you gotta shoot them.
- [21:26]
Chazz Palminteri
Shoot them out.
- [21:27]
Joey Diaz
Yeah, get them out. They're gonna. You know.
- [21:30]
Chazz Palminteri
Yeah.
- [21:31]
Joey Diaz
You never worked with somebody like that? They go crazy.
- [21:34]
Chazz Palminteri
No, I never did. No. Not. Not. I love Tracy. He's great. He's funny. But I never. I work with a couple of people who are alcoholics. That's rough. You know, when it's rough, when they come In. And they're just. I won't say who they are.
- [21:48]
Joey Diaz
I watched the movie the other day, and we'll talk about it later, but this motherfucker was high on heroin while he shot this movie.
- [21:58]
Chazz Palminteri
Jesus.
- [21:59]
Joey Diaz
And I know he was on heroin for a long time, but there's a scene, he's in a courtroom, and the camera's not on him, and he's nodding. He's trying to focus on the judge, really. But he starts fucking nodding. You're like, oh, my God.
- [22:12]
Chazz Palminteri
Yeah.
- [22:13]
Joey Diaz
That's kind of crazy. I could smoke a joint and shoot a movie.
- [22:17]
Chazz Palminteri
Yeah. See, I can't. I can't do anything. I can't do anything.
- [22:20]
Joey Diaz
Two hits. Off with the toroots. Just to loosen it up. To make, perhaps.
- [22:23]
Chazz Palminteri
No, I'm always. I'm very relaxed.
- [22:25]
Joey Diaz
Yes. But I can't drink or. No people fucking. When I did the Longest Yard, those motherfuckers were making margaritas at 10am the wrestlers. Because wrestlers don't play.
- [22:37]
Chazz Palminteri
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- [22:38]
Joey Diaz
They don't play. They told Adam, if we're not out there by 8, yeah, we're gonna get margaritas. And they bought a blender.
- [22:45]
Chazz Palminteri
Yeah.
- [22:47]
Joey Diaz
They would get blenders, plural.
- [22:50]
Chazz Palminteri
Wow.
- [22:50]
Joey Diaz
And they had the big cooler ice. And they would sit out there. Goldberg. And those were out of their minds.
- [22:58]
Chazz Palminteri
No way. Really?
- [22:59]
Joey Diaz
That's why I loved them. I loved them. They were like, yeah, 12 o'clock, we're not shooting. We're done.
- [23:05]
Chazz Palminteri
Yeah.
- [23:05]
Joey Diaz
Then they go back to the hotel, take a nap.
- [23:08]
Chazz Palminteri
Yeah. I just had a wrestler on my show. He was great. Karen Cross.
- [23:11]
Joey Diaz
Oh, that great.
- [23:12]
Chazz Palminteri
He's great. What a great guy, man.
- [23:14]
Joey Diaz
The ultimate. I learned a lot from wrestlers on how to treat people.
- [23:18]
Chazz Palminteri
Yeah.
- [23:18]
Joey Diaz
Because they're the ultimate. Like Kevin Nash, that motherfucker. Getting beat up. If you go up to him and ask him for a picture, he'll hold the guy's hand and take a picture and keep fighting with him. Those guys, that's a different training. They train differently. They're more audience.
- [23:36]
Chazz Palminteri
Right, right.
- [23:36]
Joey Diaz
They're very audience savvy.
- [23:40]
Chazz Palminteri
Wow. Yeah, it was great. And he was fun to talk to. I love talking with guys. And Jiu Jitsu. And I love ufc. I go there. I love it. UFC is great. My son loves it. He boxes, he does mma, he does Brazilian. And we go there. We love it. It's great. It's a great. I box. I don't do. You know, it was funny. But when he started learning and he started getting older, and then all of a sudden, I realized that shit. I Can't beat up my son anymore. You know what I mean? Like, this kid is, like. We started, like, grappling a little bit, and he just choked. He got me in a triangle, and I was like, what the. And then he explained to me that a person who knows Jiu Jitsu, even a blue belt, he said, when you're wrestling or grappling with a person who knows nothing, he goes, it's a magic trick. They don't know what you're doing. It's easy. And I was like, oh, really? He goes, yeah. He goes, but a black belt does that to me, or a brown belt does that to me. What I do to him, and he says, it's just levels that you gotta get up. Just levels. Yeah.
- [24:47]
Joey Diaz
I love going to Jiu Jitsu. I haven't been there since October. October 8th.
- [24:50]
Chazz Palminteri
Wow.
- [24:50]
Joey Diaz
But before that, I was for three years, right in the same place. Here's the problem. As you get older, you wrestle with younger guys, right? And even if you know more about it than they do, their speed and quickness always beats you. You know, it's always. You end up on your back. But I fucking love it.
- [25:09]
Chazz Palminteri
Yeah, it's great.
- [25:10]
Joey Diaz
I fucking love it. And I'm older, and there's not a lot of all the. You know, we had one guy that was like 65, right? There's a guy in there that's 67. That's a fucking brute. School principal, right? He's a black belt in karate for 40 years.
- [25:24]
Chazz Palminteri
Oh, wow.
- [25:25]
Joey Diaz
So he's been doing it for that long.
- [25:27]
Chazz Palminteri
Oh, geez.
- [25:28]
Joey Diaz
But there's something about Jiu Jitsu that when you go in there, you either gonna like it or hate it.
- [25:34]
Chazz Palminteri
Hate it, right? You're right.
- [25:35]
Joey Diaz
You really gonna like it or hate it? There's no. And you can't feel bad for not liking it, but if you really start to like it, you're gonna get beat up for a year.
- [25:43]
Chazz Palminteri
That's what he did. My son got beat up. He told me, a year.
- [25:45]
Joey Diaz
It's a year of getting beat up, choked, hurt people, pulling your hair.
- [25:49]
Chazz Palminteri
I'm getting thrown all over the place.
- [25:51]
Joey Diaz
I remember one time I was wrestling this guy, and I wasn't even. He was like a brown belt. And I wasn't even doing nothing to him. And I kept seeing him going, ah, Ah. And I go, dog, am I hurting? He goes, you're pulling my leg hairs. Because I had his gi. But I really had his leg hairs out, and I was spinning him around so I wouldn't lose the fucking leg. And he'd go, ah, you know, you're gonna get hurt at every level.
- [26:13]
Chazz Palminteri
Yeah, no, he did. My son did get hurt.
- [26:15]
Joey Diaz
It's something about it. Like, it's fun. A friend of mine just twisted his knee and he's like calling me, telling me, no worries, I'm gonna shoot it with a peptide.
- [26:24]
Chazz Palminteri
Yeah, right.
- [26:25]
Joey Diaz
Back in six weeks. They don't give a. They don't give and they'll go back in three weeks. And now reheard it for good. Yeah, it's so addicting that you.
- [26:32]
Chazz Palminteri
Yeah, I love watching it. I love going to UFC. I think it's great.
- [26:35]
Joey Diaz
Oh, the UFC's are a lot of fun.
- [26:37]
Chazz Palminteri
Yeah.
- [26:38]
Joey Diaz
I mean, the energy in that.
- [26:40]
Chazz Palminteri
Right?
- [26:41]
Joey Diaz
The energy, right?
- [26:43]
Chazz Palminteri
Yes. Crazy. You know. You know, Joey, I always wanted to ask you because I always ask people who know, and I know, you know about Jiu Jitsu. I just box and I asked my son about it. He said, well, dad, sometimes it can overcome, but I don't. If you had a guy who was in the street, but a young guy, big strong guy, but knows nothing about grappling, but a big, tough guy, and he fought the number one Jiu Jitsu woman in the world. In other words, she was a black belt in Jiu Jitsu, who would win?
- [27:17]
Joey Diaz
He said, there's no doubt Mackenzie Dern will fuck you up.
- [27:21]
Chazz Palminteri
Who?
- [27:22]
Joey Diaz
Mackenzie Dern really will fuck you up.
- [27:25]
Chazz Palminteri
I'm talking about a big strong guy, like a fucking.
- [27:28]
Joey Diaz
Listen, she's not gonna twist them, but she's gonna neutralize them.
- [27:32]
Chazz Palminteri
You think so?
- [27:33]
Joey Diaz
But those people that are black belts like that, like, she's a Brazilian black belt. Have you ever seen fucking MacKenzie?
- [27:39]
Chazz Palminteri
No, I haven't. No.
- [27:42]
Joey Diaz
She's like a supermodel.
- [27:43]
Chazz Palminteri
But what about if this guy grabs her by the fucking hair and grabs her neck?
- [27:47]
Joey Diaz
Joey, she has the patience, right. That she'll fucking breathe through it and at least get hooks on them.
- [27:56]
Chazz Palminteri
Really?
- [27:56]
Joey Diaz
She's a black belt. She'll get a leg somewhere.
- [27:59]
Chazz Palminteri
So if you had a bet money, you would bet on the woman. You would bet on the woman at that situation?
- [28:04]
Joey Diaz
I'll bet on the woman to neutralize him.
- [28:06]
Chazz Palminteri
Yeah. Right.
- [28:07]
Joey Diaz
After a while, it's a woman and her strength.
- [28:09]
Chazz Palminteri
Yeah, that's it.
- [28:10]
Joey Diaz
It's strength, but I could guarantee her Katsangano. There's a lot of women that are fucking really good. Jiu Jitsu is. They'll break something on you.
- [28:22]
Chazz Palminteri
Yeah.
- [28:22]
Joey Diaz
And if you really think about it, Jiu Jitsu is made for a woman, all the aspects of it.
- [28:31]
Chazz Palminteri
Right.
- [28:31]
Joey Diaz
Is for A woman. My daughter was into it till she was 10 and I lost her. Yeah, because you don't understand. That's their playground. A woman's playground is on her fucking back.
- [28:42]
Chazz Palminteri
Yeah.
- [28:43]
Joey Diaz
And if she could defend herself from her fucking back.
- [28:46]
Chazz Palminteri
Right.
- [28:47]
Joey Diaz
That is something that you can't. It's priceless.
- [28:50]
Chazz Palminteri
What do you think Joe Rogan would say about that? He would bet on the woman, too.
- [28:53]
Joey Diaz
Well, it depends on the. Like, there's a fucking chick, Gabby Garcia. She's bigger than me. She just fought Craig Jones, really. Competition. And Craig Jones choked her out again. But, you know.
- [29:06]
Lee Syed
But that's too. That's a good grade jujitsu person, I think. Are you saying like a fight or like, in the street?
- [29:12]
Joey Diaz
No, no, she sent us. He's a street guy.
- [29:13]
Chazz Palminteri
I'm talking about a street guy.
- [29:14]
Joey Diaz
Hey, fuck you.
- [29:17]
Lee Syed
In the street. I 100 bet on the woman. I think they have videos of it of, like. Yeah, especially of, like, guys who are, like, kind of going to jiu jitsu gyms and, like, they talk and the people. Jiu jitsu gyms are usually really nice until, like, some guy's an. And then they, like, they play with them. It's like. It's like it's an animal.
- [29:35]
Joey Diaz
And, like, there's always one really good woman at every gym.
- [29:39]
Chazz Palminteri
Yeah.
- [29:39]
Joey Diaz
Like, where I was going, there was a purple belt that night that was really good. I never rolled with her, but in the daytime, there was an Indian girl that started coming in.
- [29:48]
Chazz Palminteri
Right.
- [29:49]
Joey Diaz
Married two girls. That's how she got into it. She brought her girls. And I asked her, what made you come in here? We all called her Ma. Ma?
- [29:57]
Chazz Palminteri
Yeah.
- [29:57]
Joey Diaz
Fuck, you're a fucking fox. What made you come in here? She's like, I brought my girls in here. And she goes, I saw how important it is for a woman. She comes to the lunchtime classes. There's no other women in that.
- [30:08]
Chazz Palminteri
Wow. Yeah.
- [30:09]
Joey Diaz
And she battles it. And for a year, I would see her at the end of class. You think she was a battered woman? She's got beautiful long hair, and she put it in a ponytail, but they'd rip it the fuck out. And she'd just be like.
- [30:22]
Chazz Palminteri
The amazing thing about. I knew when I was bouncing. Many years ago, in the 80s, early 80s, I worked with a guy who was Olympic judo. He was, like, 10th in the world in judo in this class. And I was in the gym with him one day, and I said, go on, Mark.
- [30:39]
Joey Diaz
Just.
- [30:39]
Chazz Palminteri
Come on, just. He goes, nah, Chaz. I said, no, no, no. I said, I want to really try to. Like, he treated me like I was a two year old. And that's what I couldn't understand.
- [30:49]
Joey Diaz
That's what you can't.
- [30:50]
Chazz Palminteri
He treated me like I was. You know, when your five year old gets upset, you go stand over here. Literally, I felt like I couldn't do anything. He just, he just flipped me and threw me and I just never forgot that.
- [31:06]
Joey Diaz
Listen, you do a great one man show and you're an actor. I'm a comedian, I'm a street comic. I know how to tell jokes on a corner. Take that energy and flip it. Think about somebody who's been throwing punches for 20 years.
- [31:20]
Chazz Palminteri
Yeah, it's true.
- [31:21]
Joey Diaz
What do you think is gonna happen?
- [31:23]
Chazz Palminteri
Yeah, it's not gonna be great.
- [31:24]
Joey Diaz
Have you ever gone into a ring with a guy just fucking around that's like.
- [31:27]
Chazz Palminteri
Yeah, I box with some sparred, but we knew we were gonna.
- [31:31]
Joey Diaz
And just to show the feints alone.
- [31:33]
Chazz Palminteri
Exactly. I knew that.
- [31:34]
Joey Diaz
I just professional.
- [31:36]
Chazz Palminteri
I knew that he could take me out at any moment.
- [31:38]
Joey Diaz
You go to one of these schools and you see like the Brazilian. Yeah, like I go to a. Hollis Gracie, right? Rolls Gracie, he's the big one, right. I joined that school because he's a big dude, right? And he teaches big dude shit. How to control you more, right? How to move slowly, to put his weight on top of you a lot more. There's little guys who move like. There's a school in Edgewater. That dude, he moves, right? He's 5 foot 8, 160. That guy will choke you.
- [32:05]
Chazz Palminteri
Yeah.
- [32:05]
Joey Diaz
Before anything. Have you ever seen the Hodge Gracie tapes? Do I Hodge Gracie?
- [32:12]
Chazz Palminteri
No, I never.
- [32:13]
Joey Diaz
Gracie is the best in the world.
- [32:15]
Chazz Palminteri
Better than. Better than Hickson?
- [32:18]
Joey Diaz
No, he's like a nephew to Hickson.
- [32:20]
Chazz Palminteri
Nephew to.
- [32:21]
Joey Diaz
But this guy does the same shit every day. Yeah, which is. Takes you down. He lets you. He'll let you put him in his closed guard, right? It's a 15 minute bout. It'll take him 13 minutes to get on that mount. But those 13 minutes, you're on the bottom suffering, you're fucking with him. And once he gets you on the mount, everything he does is basic. He gets you with a collar choke and he does that in the worlds. But when you see him, you go, whoa. Yeah, because it's like caterpillar. It's not two the Berimbolo brothers flying through the air. It's this guy that gets on top of you like a boa constrictor. And then he just gets closer to you and closer to you and that's what you're doing. You're wearing out the guy on the bottom.
- [33:14]
Chazz Palminteri
Were you up on stage, Joey, and somebody. You thought somebody was gonna come up on stage and you thought you were gonna have to do something?
- [33:20]
Joey Diaz
Yeah.
- [33:20]
Chazz Palminteri
Really?
- [33:21]
Joey Diaz
And I hit him with the microphone.
- [33:24]
Chazz Palminteri
Come on.
- [33:25]
Joey Diaz
In 1995, there was an open mic on Wednesdays, like steakhouse 58 or something in Commerce City, Colorado. And every week I did the same round. There was a tortilla play. What's the taco place? On fucking Thursday night, right? The one in the West Coast. They got them all over. El Torito. El Torito. Thursday, Wednesday was that Tuesday was an Elvis impersonator from Brooklyn, right, that had a restaurant in Vegas. And he was the first Elvis impersonator. Like 1968.
- [33:59]
Chazz Palminteri
Wow.
- [33:59]
Joey Diaz
Now he was £400. And he. They paid him off. Caesars gave him like a half a mil. And he opened up a little Italian restaurant. And every Tuesday I would go up there on Tuesdays and crack some jokes. He had like an eight table restaurant and he would come out at first as the chef and then he'd listen to me, then he'd wink at me and he'd go in and I'd go on stage and eat a bag of dicks. For 15 minutes I'd be up there just telling stupid jokes and dying people still beating their Italian. And after 15 minutes, he'd come out dressed like Elvis with a towel around his neck. And I'd go, come into the stage. Elvis Presley, Beano or something like that was his name. And he'd come out and fucking do the moves and the kicks and he'd get drenched in sweat and he'd go to the tables and he'd talk to the people and he'd sweat on their meatballs. It was fucking classic. Tremendous. This is what you. I see as a comic, as a young comic. But on Wednesdays I went to this place and they were flipping beer caps at every comic. Motherfucker kept flipping beer caps.
- [35:02]
Chazz Palminteri
Yeah, that's not.
- [35:03]
Joey Diaz
You know. And they were drinking beers and ripping the labels and then flipping the. And I went in there. I was going through a divorce. I was in no fucking mood, right? And I went up. Then I go. Before the show even starts, if you flick one fucking thing, I'm gonna fuck youse up. I didn't even say that. And the beer thing went flying by me and I go, come on, motherfucker. Because I wasn't gonna go after them. I have to bring them to my territory.
- [35:28]
Chazz Palminteri
Yeah, right.
- [35:28]
Joey Diaz
I got the Mic stand. And they had one of those microphones that had batteries in it. I didn't know this. And they came close, like he charged me and I'm like, this is easy. I picked up the thing and just banged him in the fucking head. And the microphone busted, the batteries went out. He started bleeding. And his buddy stood there and he goes. I go, you want, huh? He just left. And I went, I finished my steak. They said, the cops are coming. I got in my car and I left. I didn't go back for like a month. It was all forgot.
- [35:58]
Chazz Palminteri
That's funny.
- [35:59]
Joey Diaz
Oh, yeah, I'll say. Yeah.
- [36:00]
Chazz Palminteri
I've seen comics go through some shit sometimes though.
- [36:03]
Joey Diaz
There's guys that listen, I'll tell you what happens. A girl goes home and tells her husband that her and her eight girlfriends from work are going to go see a certain comedian. Yeah, there's like eight of them that are really good looking. There's always that one husband that tags along. I'm going with you. Is Maggie going out on Truck? You know, she dates a fucking Spanish dude, you know?
- [36:29]
Chazz Palminteri
Right.
- [36:29]
Joey Diaz
Those are the guys you're always gonna have a problem with because they're the.
- [36:33]
Chazz Palminteri
Ones that sit there, sit there like that.
- [36:35]
Joey Diaz
He ain't funny, you know, to try to. And then you have to say something to him and he says something.
- [36:41]
Chazz Palminteri
Yeah, Comedy is fascinating to me. I mean, I was never a stand up comic. I was always an actor. But I. I'm fascinated by stand up comedy. I really am. It's fascinating to me. And I talked to Chris Rock about it once. I did a movie with him and I said, what's the number one thing a comic's got to learn? And he said, don't be afraid of the silence. No, he says, once you're not afraid of the silence. You got it.
- [37:04]
Joey Diaz
Let me take a breather real quick. Talk about BetterHelp for people who need a psychiatrist that didn't get those movies.
- [37:10]
Chazz Palminteri
You know what I'm saying?
- [37:11]
Joey Diaz
There's people that haven't gotten movies and they're still in LA right now. What am I gonna do? All betterhelp. We'll be back in two minutes. Hey, if you don't know now, you know. The Church of what's Happening now is sponsored by BetterHelp. We're always hearing about red flags. Red flags about your partner, red flags about your friends. What if you started looking for green flags instead? Therapy can help you identify those green flags and practice them in your relationships. That'll make your life better place to live in. And it'll make you better 100%. How do I know? Because I was with BetterHelp. Their online therapy is Tip Top Magoo. Amazing. It's 100% online, so it's very easy and very convenient. You can access a diverse network of over 30,000 credentialed therapists with a wide range of specialties. For me, it was anxiety. I contacted one of the reps there. She worked out from the beginning, and six, eight months later, I was Tip Top Magoo. I still use those exercises today. So whatever you're going through, there's someone who could help. And BetterHelp is there to help you discover your relationship. Green flags with BetterHelp, visit betterhelp.com Diaz D I A Z I'm going to get you 10% off your first month. Listen, 10% off, that's big. In these days, even eggs are up to $11. So that's BetterHelp. E-L-P.com Diaz I'm gonna get you 10% off your first month. If BetterHelp helped me, they could do a lot better with you. Trust me. I got problems. Hey, I want to welcome Factor to the church of what's happening in our family. Listen, eating well shouldn't take up your day. Factor makes it a lot easier with meals you can eat and eat in just two minutes. You heard that, right. Two minutes. Everything arrives fresh and fully prepared. It's perfect for any busy Lifestyle with over 40 options to choose from. You just make the picks and wait for them to show up at your door. Ba boom. Whether you're on the keto diet, you want your protein, or you're watching your calories, there's something for everyone. I love the I signed up for the protein package. The meals fill me up and they taste great. Tip Top Magoo. I eat them for lunch every day. Bam. The meals are top tier and the convenience is incredible. So do yourself a favor. Eat smart with Factor. Get started@factormeals.com FactorPodcast and use code FactorPodcast to get 50% off your first box. 50% off plus free shipping. That's what we do for you over at the church. That's Code Factorpodcast@factormeals.com Factorpodcast to get 50% off your meals with free shipping on your first box. I got the protein package. Tremendous. Give it a shot. Or if you want the keto, they got everything for everybody. Factor podcast to get 50% off. Free shipping on your first box. Thank you for listening to the podcast and thank you for Factor for sponsoring the show. We're back, bitches. Anyway, what's up? I want to talk to you about something you were talking about when we left. God damn it.
- [40:41]
Chazz Palminteri
About people in Hollywood who didn't make it yet. Was that it?
- [40:44]
Joey Diaz
Well, we were talking about that, but that was just a jokey poo.
- [40:48]
Chazz Palminteri
Oh, okay.
- [40:48]
Joey Diaz
We're talking about time and comedy.
- [40:50]
Chazz Palminteri
Yeah.
- [40:51]
Joey Diaz
That you're fascinated with stand up. Well, I'm fascinated with this show. The fascinating was I. And I'm still fascinated with it. And I've been doing it now for 30 years.
- [41:02]
Chazz Palminteri
30 years now. Do you.
- [41:04]
Joey Diaz
91.
- [41:05]
Chazz Palminteri
Do you know what you're gonna do when you get on stage, Joe?
- [41:08]
Joey Diaz
I have a direction. I have a direction. And then, like you, like right now, I have no direction. Lately, I have no direction. I'm coming up with little bits, right? And now I have a month off. And that gives me time to polish, too. I see bits like I started working on today. I haven't. I. In the back of my mind, I just want him to fucking laugh, right? You know, I want him to laugh. We were talking during the break about Lee doing comedy for seven years. It's so weird. Or eight years, right. And D'Agostino's been doing it for 10 or 12. 15.
- [41:42]
Chazz Palminteri
15, 15. Now, when does a comic feel like he made it? When he does. Okay. When you. If a comic could fill up a comedy club, three, 400 people, that's pretty good, right? What now then you move to theaters like a thousand to two thousand. Would you say that's pretty good?
- [42:04]
Joey Diaz
That's really good.
- [42:05]
Chazz Palminteri
That's real good.
- [42:05]
Joey Diaz
That's really good.
- [42:07]
Chazz Palminteri
Now when you get like over three or four thousand, that's something.
- [42:10]
Joey Diaz
Sebastian Arenas. That's. That's Arenas, that's Jo Koy, that's Gabriel. That's heights that, you know, you just dream about, Right?
- [42:18]
Chazz Palminteri
But does the average comic, would you say when he hits like 2500. That's.
- [42:24]
Joey Diaz
That's good.
- [42:25]
Chazz Palminteri
That's good.
- [42:25]
Joey Diaz
That's really good.
- [42:26]
Chazz Palminteri
That's really good.
- [42:27]
Joey Diaz
You asked me a question. What was the question? When do I thought I was successful? Successful?
- [42:31]
Chazz Palminteri
Yeah.
- [42:31]
Joey Diaz
When I didn't have a day job no more, Right? That's the first fucking hurdle.
- [42:35]
Chazz Palminteri
When you're making the money to.
- [42:37]
Joey Diaz
That's the first hurdle.
- [42:39]
Chazz Palminteri
How about you, Lee?
- [42:40]
Lee Syed
I'm surprised to hear you say that it was there. That is a first hurdle. But because you said. Well, you said. You said successful. What I think, Chaz, you said when you made it, like when a comics made.
- [42:52]
Chazz Palminteri
When you feel like all Right.
- [42:53]
Lee Syed
You know, because, like, my thought when I. When I was listening to you, Joey, what. What I thought you were going to say is. Is like to get to that level, you're. You have goals. But then when you got. When you got to theaters, comic, you always look bigger. So, like, are you ever really fully satisfied? That. But. But I do think that that's a. I like that that's where your head is at. To just be like, the first hurdle is day job, day job.
- [43:20]
Chazz Palminteri
Yeah.
- [43:20]
Joey Diaz
And then after that, listen, that's a lot more attainable. I don't think Chappelle is happy. I think he's happy, but I don't think any comic is ever happy. They could always look at just a little more. Maybe if I could sell out a spaceship.
- [43:33]
Lee Syed
Right?
- [43:34]
Joey Diaz
You know what I'm saying? Maybe if I could put them on Guantanamo bay. I get 80,000 people in Guantanamo, I could do Dallas Stadium or something. Do you follow me?
- [43:45]
Chazz Palminteri
Yeah.
- [43:46]
Joey Diaz
But I always thought, for starters, you have a different head. I was a criminal. I got out of the joint. I couldn't find the fucking job as a felon. And I removed the felony from my life. I didn't go to the judge. I just removed it myself. And I go, I'm gonna go for this comedy thing, right? But I never thought of anything until I found out that fucko who again, has another show on tv, Tim Allen did Time for Cocaine. Yeah, that guy's got another show on tv, right? He, like, owns abc. They just give him. That's a bad. He deserves it.
- [44:26]
Chazz Palminteri
Yeah.
- [44:27]
Joey Diaz
You know what? He's for breakfast every day Denny's in the Valley. Well, he's in that Denny's. I would see him in there, yeah. And go, what the fuck are you doing at Denny's?
- [44:36]
Chazz Palminteri
Right?
- [44:36]
Joey Diaz
So you know what I'm saying? Like, he's a real guy, that dude.
- [44:40]
Chazz Palminteri
Yeah. But I found. I kind of studied comics and I fooled around with a little comedy. And I remember the thing that I noticed, I'm very observant is the thing that bothered me the most is hanging out backstage with comics. They're all depressed, Joey. Yeah, they're all depressed, Joey.
- [45:01]
Joey Diaz
We're in our heads.
- [45:04]
Chazz Palminteri
Like, I'm always happy.
- [45:05]
Joey Diaz
You're in your.
- [45:07]
Chazz Palminteri
I mean.
- [45:07]
Joey Diaz
Oh.
- [45:07]
Chazz Palminteri
And then when you say something funny, they'll never laugh at your joke. They'll just go, no, they'll go, that's funny. They'll look at you and go, that's funny. But they'll never laugh ever, ever, ever. I used to talk to Robin Williams about All this. And he used to make me laugh because he was a funny fucking dude.
- [45:28]
Joey Diaz
I was a funny fucking dude.
- [45:29]
Chazz Palminteri
And. And it's almost like a comic. First they want to be. They just want to not pay the bill. They want to pay to not pay the bills. I mean, they don't have to get a day job. Then when they start filling out comedy clubs that they're like, great. Then they start filling out theaters, 15, 25. Then they want to go to Radio City, Madison Square Garden. And once you get there, you can only hold that. He was explaining to me, you can only hold that position for like three or four years, and then you have to move back down to the theaters and you stay at the theaters then for the rest of your career. It was really fucking interesting.
- [46:06]
Joey Diaz
A theater that's. In today's world, you can make good money if you did theaters all year. Oh, yeah, look at Brian Regan. Brian Regan popped out one TV show. He did something else. He's a great Brian Regan. Nobody knows who he is.
- [46:20]
Chazz Palminteri
So he does theaters, huh? Does he do. He doesn't do Radio City Musical.
- [46:25]
Lee Syed
He might at one point, like, I.
- [46:27]
Joey Diaz
Want to do the Apollo. Yeah. Just out of respect.
- [46:31]
Chazz Palminteri
I'd love to do the Apollo.
- [46:32]
Joey Diaz
Here's the problem.
- [46:32]
Chazz Palminteri
Yeah.
- [46:33]
Joey Diaz
You gotta do eight shows to break even then.
- [46:35]
Chazz Palminteri
No, no, no, I only do one show.
- [46:37]
Joey Diaz
No, no, no. You know what I'm saying? You have to do two in one night there. Because the first show goes to the boys. Unless you charge $300 for ticket. So the first show goes to the boys.
- [46:50]
Chazz Palminteri
Yeah.
- [46:50]
Joey Diaz
Since you're there for the second show.
- [46:52]
Chazz Palminteri
Yeah.
- [46:53]
Joey Diaz
Now the second show is all profit pretty much, right? So you gotta do two shows in the night. And that's what, you know. I would love to do the Apollo. Follow a beacon with a bunch of white people playing the violin. I want to go up there with the brothers.
- [47:08]
Chazz Palminteri
I have a very big, you know, African American following.
- [47:11]
Joey Diaz
Oh, I love it.
- [47:12]
Chazz Palminteri
I love to do the Apollo Theater, the Bronx.
- [47:15]
Joey Diaz
Some theater in the Bronx.
- [47:17]
Chazz Palminteri
Always paradise. I thought about that.
- [47:19]
Joey Diaz
Some theater in the Bronx. You know, I gotta do, out of respect for my mother before I die, I gotta get a date at Yonkers Raceway. Yeah, they gotta have a theater up there like that.
- [47:30]
Chazz Palminteri
Do they have a theater in Yonkers?
- [47:31]
Joey Diaz
Yeah, the midnight show at Yonkers.
- [47:33]
Chazz Palminteri
They do.
- [47:34]
Joey Diaz
No, that's the last track that's over. And I always tell people, when people go, well, my uncle was a degenerate. Well, what did he do? He went to Meadowlands every day. That's not a degenerate.
- [47:43]
Chazz Palminteri
Yeah.
- [47:43]
Joey Diaz
Degenerate is somebody who goes to Meadowlands, then rushes over and catches the end of the aqueduct and then goes home, takes a shower, stops at OTB on 181st street by authority. And right on that road you shoot up the Yonkers. And when you walk out of Yonkers in those days, you were going to get shot.
- [48:01]
Chazz Palminteri
Oh yeah.
- [48:01]
Joey Diaz
In the 70s, it's. You're walking out to Mary J. Blige. Tremendous.
- [48:08]
Chazz Palminteri
No, that's true. Yeah. Yeah. Wow. That's a degenerate.
- [48:12]
Joey Diaz
That's a degenerate.
- [48:13]
Chazz Palminteri
Yeah. That was Eddie Mush. That was Eddie Mush from Bronxdale. He was. That was him. That was him. He would constantly. Constantly fucking. All day, all night, fucking gamble.
- [48:25]
Joey Diaz
Let me tell you what we've seen. I don't mean to interrupt you on Mushroom. We'll get to that later. Mushy question for you. That's Junior Mush right there.
- [48:33]
Lee Syed
Yeah, he calls me Mush for years.
- [48:34]
Joey Diaz
Hell yeah. This guy is the worst. If you notice, any day now. Any day now you're gonna get a big movie. Yeah, any day now. The way God works lately. Yes, you're gonna get a big movie. I was thinking about this the other day after we spoke because people have to realize one thing and it's on the conversation we were talking about whether you're a boxer. You've been doing it for 20 years, right. When you're a writer, it takes you a week. What will take me two years to write? You're that apt on it, you know?
- [49:07]
Chazz Palminteri
Well, I apply myself. Yes.
- [49:11]
Joey Diaz
Look at acting. I was watching something the other day that I was blown the fuck away. I had nothing to do. I was in the hospital and I put on Sons of Anarchy. Why? I don't know.
- [49:21]
Chazz Palminteri
Right.
- [49:22]
Joey Diaz
And it was the season when Jimmy Smith came on.
- [49:24]
Chazz Palminteri
Yes.
- [49:25]
Joey Diaz
And he was eating these up. He was eating Jack's Teller up, which is tough to do. That's a good looking dude. And then you see the success of Oil man with this Billy Bob Thornton. Have you watched that show?
- [49:38]
Chazz Palminteri
I haven't seen it.
- [49:39]
Joey Diaz
Holy shit, he's good.
- [49:41]
Chazz Palminteri
What's the name of it? You know?
- [49:43]
Lee Syed
Did you say Oil Man? I've seen clips of it. I don't know what the name is I heard.
- [49:46]
Chazz Palminteri
But he's really good. He's great.
- [49:49]
Joey Diaz
I mean, it's like everybody else is on a different fucking level.
- [49:51]
Chazz Palminteri
Yeah.
- [49:52]
Joey Diaz
And that's how you are now. You know, when I see Laurence Fishburne.
- [49:56]
Chazz Palminteri
Yeah.
- [49:56]
Joey Diaz
Everybody looks at Denzel. I look At Laurence Fishburne, I go, he played four different types of yams. Yeah, okay. What's love got to do with it? And he played a gangster black yam in King of Whatever.
- [50:13]
Chazz Palminteri
It's okay to say that word.
- [50:15]
Joey Diaz
Okay.
- [50:16]
Chazz Palminteri
It's cool now. Okay.
- [50:18]
Joey Diaz
Yam is in the middle. Nobody gets offended. So, okay, what is it? What's that? What's the King of New York?
- [50:25]
Chazz Palminteri
King of. Yes. King of New York.
- [50:27]
Joey Diaz
Think of that. He played Ike Turner, King of New York. And they were completely fucking great.
- [50:32]
Chazz Palminteri
Great.
- [50:33]
Joey Diaz
And then he played something else in that realm and you go, he broke those guys up into threes. Brilliantly.
- [50:39]
Chazz Palminteri
Brilliantly.
- [50:40]
Joey Diaz
So that's another guy. Like I said yourself, right? You go on a fucking movie, now, you just eat it up. Well, everybody looks at you because you're that. You got 40 years in the fucking game, Chad.
- [50:50]
Chazz Palminteri
Yeah, A lot of movies, 40 fucking years. Yeah.
- [50:54]
Joey Diaz
You know, so. And I respect that. And it's the same thing we were talking about. You start eating and breathing this shit. You know Katie Seagal, she's been doing it since I was locked up.
- [51:06]
Chazz Palminteri
Yeah.
- [51:06]
Joey Diaz
When I was locked up. It was her first year of Married With Children. There's a bunch of those fucking guys.
- [51:13]
Chazz Palminteri
Oh, yeah.
- [51:14]
Joey Diaz
I grew up on McQueen. Like, when I was in the hospital, I watched Our Man Flynt. God damn. James Colbert.
- [51:21]
Chazz Palminteri
James Colbert.
- [51:22]
Joey Diaz
And it was a double feature, but I had to go to sleep, I couldn't watch. The second. My Man, Our Man Flynn.
- [51:27]
Chazz Palminteri
Our Man Flynn.
- [51:28]
Joey Diaz
And something else.
- [51:29]
Chazz Palminteri
Oh, my God.
- [51:30]
Joey Diaz
You know, I grew up on. I was a big Charles bronson Dude.
- [51:32]
Chazz Palminteri
Yeah.
- [51:33]
Joey Diaz
Mr. No personality.
- [51:34]
Chazz Palminteri
I mean, you look at Steve McQueen, he did nothing, but he was a movie star. There's something about Steve McQueen. You just go, look at this guy. He's great. Just great, man. Just great.
- [51:48]
Joey Diaz
The one with the Camaro.
- [51:50]
Chazz Palminteri
Yeah.
- [51:51]
Joey Diaz
Cop Bullet, Bullet and Get Away.
- [51:54]
Chazz Palminteri
The Great Escape.
- [51:56]
Joey Diaz
Papillon.
- [51:57]
Chazz Palminteri
Papillon. Oh, shit. Damn. Yeah.
- [52:01]
Joey Diaz
The fact that that stole Bob Evans's girlfriend.
- [52:05]
Chazz Palminteri
Yeah.
- [52:07]
Joey Diaz
If that happened now, people would turn their back on him. Only two men have done that. Brad Pitt, when he went to fucking Angelia Jolie's and never came back to Jennifer Aniston. Yeah, she was. She was at home waiting with tea. Like, I'm done with tea. You know what I'm saying?
- [52:22]
Chazz Palminteri
Wow.
- [52:22]
Joey Diaz
I'm done with tea. And. And Steve McQueen.
- [52:25]
Chazz Palminteri
Steve McQueen.
- [52:26]
Joey Diaz
She just didn't take an actor's wife. He was the head of fucking movies at Paramount.
- [52:31]
Chazz Palminteri
And I liked it. I knew Bob very well. I liked him a lot.
- [52:34]
Joey Diaz
That's Crazy.
- [52:35]
Chazz Palminteri
Yeah. He was a good guy. I liked him.
- [52:37]
Joey Diaz
Those are different types of dudes.
- [52:38]
Chazz Palminteri
Yes.
- [52:39]
Joey Diaz
You know Clint Eastwood, when he first started shooting.
- [52:41]
Chazz Palminteri
Yeah.
- [52:42]
Joey Diaz
Spaghetti West.
- [52:43]
Chazz Palminteri
Oh, man.
- [52:44]
Joey Diaz
That's why. That's so interesting to me.
- [52:46]
Chazz Palminteri
Right?
- [52:47]
Joey Diaz
All those actors, how they did all that. They went through a struggle.
- [52:50]
Chazz Palminteri
Yeah.
- [52:50]
Joey Diaz
You know, when I shot the Longest Shard, fucko told me that his roommate at the time was the other fucking crazy guy. Burt Reynolds had a roommate when he lived in New York, and they went to audition for Ilya Kazam. And at the end of the audition, his roommate, who ended up becoming a star in his own way. I just forget what his name was, pulled the gun Eli Kazan, and said, if I'm not in this play, I'm gonna shoot you. He's the one in that movie with the bowling. He's got the hook on his hand.
- [53:18]
Chazz Palminteri
Really?
- [53:19]
Joey Diaz
He's an older guy. Yeah, yeah, yeah, he's old. You know, he's probably dead by now.
- [53:22]
Chazz Palminteri
Yeah.
- [53:26]
Joey Diaz
Showed up to the audition with a gun. With a gun.
- [53:31]
Chazz Palminteri
Actors. Some actors are crazy, man. You. You can't believe the things people do to get. To get noticed. I mean, I've. I've seen things where I. You know, I mean, I just. One of my dear friends died. One of my closest friends died in Covid, and I was there, and I'm still hurt. My friend Phil Foley died in Covid, and I went to the wake, and then we went afterwards. You go to a restaurant, you know, that's how you do. You go to a restaurant and eat something. Everybody talks. This guy comes over to me and he says, hi. You know, he says his name, and he was at the funeral. I saw him, and he said, you know, me and Phil were working on a script together. Now, I know that can't be true because Phil would have told me. And he goes and he said that you were going to be in on it with us. And I know it's unfortunate that he passed, but I was wondering if. If you and I could do it, you know? And I look at him like I'm at the fucking funeral. You asked me if I want to write with you because Phil's dead. Are you out of your fucking mind? Like, get the fuck away from me. I mean, I was like, do you have any sense of. Of compassion, of feelings, of. I don't know. Some people are just fucking crazy. He just figured I was there and he's never gonna see me again. Let me take a shot. And I had to script with him. Had to script with him.
- [54:57]
Joey Diaz
Listen, to me, my car's on fire. I'm changing a flat, and I don't know how to change a flat. I'm doing my best. I'm pumping. This is about nine years ago, and some kid screeches over, and I think he's gonna ask me, he's gonna say, do you need help? This motherfucker came and goes, hey, Joey, remember we read a script together? Are you interested? I looked at him and I go, get the fuck away from me. I'll never, ever forget that. And I've had people now, like when I went to the hospital two weeks ago. The first day I went in there, I was dying. I couldn't breathe. I was like, purple. Some guy came over. Can we take a picture?
- [55:38]
Chazz Palminteri
I'm like, man, I've had that, man.
- [55:42]
Joey Diaz
What the is wrong with you?
- [55:43]
Chazz Palminteri
I had that. I. I fell asleep at the wheel.
- [55:46]
Joey Diaz
You could be diving. You could be diving.
- [55:48]
Chazz Palminteri
I fell asleep at the wheel and my fucking car hit a tree dead center. Knocked the tree down. The wires killed all the fucking power in my neighborhood, in my. In Bedford. I mean, I wiped my own house out. And the fucking police came and they got me in the elements. I was fine. The airbags, you know, really, it was like a big Mercedes. So, no, I wasn't even hurt, but they said, no, you got to get in the gurney. So they put me in the gurney, and the guy comes up, puts the thing on my neck, and he goes, fucking A. Usual Suspects. I love that movie. And I look at him, he goes. He goes, how was that movie? And he's talking to me, and I'm like, is he serious? But then later, he goes, chaz, you know what? I don't want you. I said that to you because I wanted to see if you were, you know, coherent and. And you could know what I was saying. And I said, oh. I said, I didn't know. I. I didn't know what the you were, though. But he did recognize me. But I had a guy in Hollywood. This was the best. I'm in a diner. I'm in a diner with my buddy, and I hear a guy going, ugh.
- [56:55]
Joey Diaz
Ugh.
- [56:56]
Chazz Palminteri
Joey, my hand to God, True story. Ugh. Ugh. I go, what the fuck? So I get up and I look because we were at the counter, and I look at the tables. There's this guy, and I see he had a steak and he's choking and he's pushing the waitress awake like he was embarrassed or something. And she. She's going, let me try to help you. He's going, and he was fucking dying. I go over to him, I put my hand. I give him the thing, and it wasn't. I don't even think I did it, because whatever I did, it popped out. And he pops out, and he looks at me and he goes, I said, man, you want to go to hospital? You okay? And he goes. He goes, you're chast. And I said, yeah, yeah. He goes, wait a minute. Puts his hand in his pocket, takes his fucking wallet out, takes a card out. He goes, I got a great script for you.
- [57:55]
Lee Syed
Oh, my God.
- [57:56]
Chazz Palminteri
And he goes. He goes, you call me. I got a great script. And I'm saying, sir, are you all right? Now, I didn't think of it at the time, but I walked out of there with my buddy who was an actor, and I said, do you fucking believe that crazy fucking guy? He goes, chaz, it could have been a setup. He could have saw you and did it. And I didn't think of that. I said, you know what? You know what? I don't know.
- [58:22]
Joey Diaz
Anything's possible. Anything's possible. You know, people go to AA meetings. Yeah, that's the only city where people go to AA meetings, tell you a story, that they're clean and sober, and they're there to give you a script.
- [58:37]
Chazz Palminteri
Yeah, I heard that.
- [58:38]
Joey Diaz
That's the only time there's no decency.
- [58:41]
Chazz Palminteri
No decency. No.
- [58:42]
Joey Diaz
And they always try to give you something for somebody else. That's when it really pisses me. Hey, can I talk to you about something? You know, I really like your comedy. Do you mind giving this to Joe Rogan? And you're like, no. You know, people say, no, I'm not giving them that. The reason why he's my friend is because I don't give him that.
- [59:00]
Chazz Palminteri
Exactly. Robert De Niro. You know how many times I get a script, could you give this to Bob? Could you do this to Bob? Could you set me up with Bob? I go, no, I don't fucking do that. I said, what, are you crazy? I don't do that, man. I just. I won't do it. I won't do it. I mean, I gave Bob three scripts. In my 35 years of knowing him, have I ever given him three scripts? And two of them were mine, and he did both of them. And the third one was.
- [59:33]
Joey Diaz
Well, I.
- [59:34]
Chazz Palminteri
Didn'T give him the script. I shouldn't say, but I called him and told him that I read this, and that was. Fuck, what was the name of that movie that he did? I can't think of escapes me. No. They asked me to read this thing. I read, analyze this and they said, would Bob be interested in this? I said, Bobby said, first of all, I read it, I said, it's fucking great. It's fucking great, you know, but not knowing, they called by, I said, you, you know how you get Bob De Niro? You make an offer, here's $20 million. Read the script. I'm not bringing him anything. You know what I mean? What the fuck?
- [60:12]
Joey Diaz
To go back to your, the show that Lee and I watched.
- [60:16]
Chazz Palminteri
Yeah.
- [60:16]
Joey Diaz
And it's on Amazon and Apple.
- [60:18]
Chazz Palminteri
It's on Amazon, Apple, Google, Fandango. It's the one man show that I've been doing for 34 years. But Joey, I filmed it. I wrote and directed, obviously with five cameras. So it's really, I could see that inside. It's, I really worked, I worked a year on it.
- [60:34]
Lee Syed
There's more than that. There's like audio to it too.
- [60:37]
Chazz Palminteri
Yeah.
- [60:37]
Lee Syed
Like for different things, your music and different effects. It was great.
- [60:41]
Chazz Palminteri
Yeah, I know. I, I, it's a movie, I mean I, I paid for it myself because I don't want anybody telling me what to do. So I paid for the whole fucking movie myself. I said, no, no, no, I don't want nobody's money now.
- [60:51]
Joey Diaz
You know what I got from all this? Yeah, you're just a great fucking story fellow. And when I went to see the show at the Beacon, I knew right? Then I go, this guy is just a phenomenal storyteller. He knows how to keep. A lot of people don't have that. Yeah, they could tell you a story, but then they can't keep you. You could keep me and take me through different emotions and then you do all the characters, which is mush and fucking this guy and that guy, you know, I thought it was great, but that's the bottom line. You grew up in the Bronx and you went to get apples on the corner. When you went to get an apple, there was always action going. There was all these characters and you talk. And everybody had a nickname, right? And a nickname that hit home.
- [61:36]
Chazz Palminteri
Everybody. Do you know how many guys came over to me and said, you robbed my story? Do you have any guys in all these years have told me that? You know what I, that was my story. This one guy was a stand up comic, I'll never forget him. And he said, you stole my act and you made a movie out of it. I go, leave me the alone. Get the out of here. You know what I mean? You know what they Say, you know, an orphan. Success has one father. An orphan. Failure is an orphan. It's so true. So true.
- [62:05]
Joey Diaz
Listen, we all had that.
- [62:06]
Chazz Palminteri
Yeah.
- [62:06]
Joey Diaz
You know, at one point, of course.
- [62:08]
Chazz Palminteri
Everybody had all these guys. Well, then you should have wrote the movie. You know what I mean?
- [62:13]
Joey Diaz
But you're a phenomenal. Like up there. That's what cultivates these people. That's what the MOB genre is. It's a genre that's kind of weird, but it's part of our culture, right. You know, now you make an Italian movie, the Colombo people come after you for fucking. Yeah, it's, you know, you can't make a fucking. I'm surprised that she. Rippa's commercials lasted three weeks.
- [62:39]
Chazz Palminteri
Yeah.
- [62:40]
Joey Diaz
Because the Anti American association comes, right?
- [62:43]
Chazz Palminteri
He's very well liked, man.
- [62:45]
Joey Diaz
No, but he's well liked.
- [62:46]
Chazz Palminteri
He's fucking well liked.
- [62:47]
Joey Diaz
No, no, no, I'm not saying anything bad about the commercial.
- [62:49]
Chazz Palminteri
Yeah.
- [62:49]
Joey Diaz
I'm just saying that for 10 years I shot mob commercials for Pennzoil, Dairy Queen, right. You know, fucking Prudential. Die Hard was the best, right? Die Hard. We went to bury a body and we left the. The headlights on. And then when we go to turn the car on, it's dead. And now we're stuck. You know, I did them all. They ran for a week. Then your agent called you and said your commercial got canceled. The Anti Italian Federation called and said, that fucking. What's that? Food chain? I did them. They la. That lasted four weeks before the Italians came out. Yeah.
- [63:25]
Chazz Palminteri
You know what? I have a thing with. And I beef with the Italians about this because they. They came to me a few times and I said, look, I said, Bronx Tale. First of all, Bronx Tale is not a fucking gangster movie. It's a family movie. I said, that's why it's been around for 34 years. It's a family movie. And I said, do you expect Italians not to work? Do you expect us not to work? I said, if you work and you don't like it, shut the fucking thing off.
- [63:51]
Joey Diaz
You know what the best part of that family movie is? When you beat the fuck out of the bikers. Let me tell you something. That's a family scene right? From the ABC After School Everybody special.
- [64:02]
Chazz Palminteri
Everybody said, every time I do that, that thing in theaters, fucking stand clapping, applauding. I go, now you're scaling crazy, man.
- [64:13]
Joey Diaz
It is fucking. And the characters, like, we sit here at night, like, I put a lot of my friends on here, right? Because all these stories you tell over the years. Yeah, These fucking Caduceus. Oh, that didn't happen. Okay. Motherfuckers.
- [64:26]
Chazz Palminteri
Yeah.
- [64:27]
Joey Diaz
I start bringing these motherfuckers in here, right?
- [64:29]
Chazz Palminteri
Well, you see, here's the. You're like, there's this. You got to be a great story. You got to have great stories, and you got to be a great storyteller. So there's this guy, Bobby Moresco. I don't know if you know who he is. Bobby Maresco wrote Crash, which won the Academy Award, and he won Million Dollar Baby with Paul Haggis. He grew up. He was a Westie. He was like, westie, grew up in West. You know, down Hell's Kitchen. Great storyteller. Great director, too, and a great writer. And he. One day, him and I were at this big table, and he's on one side, I'm on the other, and we're going trading stories and telling him. And if it was like you were there, you'd be number three. Like, you're a great storyteller, and you know how to tell a great story. So me and him are fucking rocking. The whole restaurant is on the fucking floor. All of a sudden, in the middle of this. This one guy, wait a minute, he goes, I got a story. I was 13 years old, and it was like, the most boring fucking story. So I turned to him and I go, hey, what was his name? Jp. I go, jp, this is the fucking World Series. Shut the fuck up. And the whole place was fucking laughing. But it's true. You know how it is when you rock in the house, showing that somebody wants to tell a story Once in a while, you got to shut the up.
- [65:51]
Joey Diaz
Take, like, my wife. You're telling the story, and your wife wants to follow. And you're like, God damn.
- [65:58]
Chazz Palminteri
I want to go, honey. She goes, no, no. Oh, how about when they go, no, that didn't happen. It was. This time, I'm gonna shut the up. You know, sometimes you lied to make a story better. You. You embellish. You know what the. That's what you do. It's an art. You embellish the story, man.
- [66:15]
Joey Diaz
That's what makes the joke even more.
- [66:17]
Chazz Palminteri
Outlandish, even more funny, right?
- [66:19]
Joey Diaz
That you said something to add to it. Like he would turn me. And you were talking one day. Yo, nephew number one. We were talking one day on the phone, talking about something, and I said to you, you got me over here waiting like Michael Chandler. Do you remember? We were fucking dying, you and me, for, like, 20 minutes. Because Michael Chandler. How long are you gonna wait?
- [66:40]
Chazz Palminteri
Yeah, right. Exactly.
- [66:41]
Joey Diaz
How are you Gonna wait for Conor McGregor. Move on. He's never gonna fight.
- [66:45]
Chazz Palminteri
Yeah.
- [66:45]
Joey Diaz
Two years later, now he wants to fight in BKC this week.
- [66:48]
Chazz Palminteri
Right, right, right, right.
- [66:49]
Joey Diaz
Every Friday he gets coked up and he shows up at a new event on Saturday, right? Listen, I snorted coke for 27 years, okay? Nobody's got footage of me snorting Coke. Go on YouTube, they have 30 minutes of Conor McGregor talking, all coked up. There's one thing where he can't even talk. He's like. You saw that one when he's scratching his nose and he can't even talk.
- [67:13]
Chazz Palminteri
Is he going to come back and fight? Joey?
- [67:15]
Joey Diaz
I don't see it.
- [67:16]
Chazz Palminteri
You don't see it?
- [67:18]
Joey Diaz
I don't see it. I.
- [67:20]
Chazz Palminteri
He's got enough money, right?
- [67:22]
Joey Diaz
He's got tons of loot.
- [67:24]
Chazz Palminteri
Yeah.
- [67:24]
Joey Diaz
You know, he needs a handler.
- [67:30]
Chazz Palminteri
Yeah.
- [67:30]
Joey Diaz
He needs, like, somebody like. Yeah, that'll cut. He's gotta hire somebody and go send me three guys and they gotta beat the fuck out of me. When I said acting crazy, he's crazy. He's Irish. He's crazy. He drinks that fire water.
- [67:45]
Chazz Palminteri
Yeah.
- [67:45]
Joey Diaz
That sets him off and they put that shit in his nose. I've been.
- [67:49]
Chazz Palminteri
That's a dangerous person. Hi, man.
- [67:50]
Joey Diaz
That's it. That's it. Look at him. He's turning purple. His veins are getting bigger. He shows up every Saturday if there's a fight at an ice skating. He shows up at the weirdest places on Saturday, takes his shirt off, starts bartending and shit. I gotta give it to him. He's an animal. Well, I mean, I gotta give it. Listen, Gregory goes to Vegas. He doesn't just sell tickets. Do you know that he adds like a $2 million to the economy? Not a lot of people do that. Michael Jackson could do that.
- [68:21]
Chazz Palminteri
Yeah, yeah.
- [68:21]
Joey Diaz
Come to New York and McGregor does it. Think about it. All the people flying in, people flying in from Ireland. Oh, he generates so much cash.
- [68:32]
Chazz Palminteri
Yeah.
- [68:33]
Joey Diaz
You cannot take that away from him. Yeah, but he's made so much cash. Listen, it's tough. Who said it the best? It's tough to run five miles when you sleep on silk sheets.
- [68:43]
Chazz Palminteri
Yeah. Yes.
- [68:45]
Joey Diaz
You know, the hunger's gone ring. And while you're getting beat up, you're thinking to yourself, I knew I was done. I knew I was done. I'm done. I'd rather be with three Chinese chicks.
- [68:57]
Chazz Palminteri
Yeah.
- [68:58]
Joey Diaz
Right.
- [68:58]
Chazz Palminteri
Now look at me.
- [69:01]
Joey Diaz
I'm getting beat up by this guy and I don't need this money. I'm gonna make 11 million. I don't need it. I got 300 million.
- [69:08]
Chazz Palminteri
There is a point where. But that's what makes the true champions. My father used to tell me, and even my shrink told me that he goes, you think it was hard now to make it? He goes, it was hard, right? He goes, yeah. He goes, it's harder staying there, Chaz. I'll never forget that.
- [69:22]
Joey Diaz
You know, you were saying before about feeders. I had this dream sitting behind the Comedy Store 20 years ago. In the dream, I used to talk to Ari. Me and Ari discussed this. About five years ago, you sit behind the Comedy Store. You're back there at midnight. You wait another half hour to get on fucking stage to end your night. You know, you basically can't make rent. You hope you get a commercial audition so you could fucking cover the spread next month. And you dream about the day when you're just a regular comic, that you're selling out clubs. You run a recurring TV show on abc. They pay you well. You do six episodes. Maybe somebody gives me a little gig for three weeks writing. That was success for me. That would have been fine for me. And I wasn't even want that. I was just happy to do comedy and not do crime. For me, it was just, if. God, if you could just help me do comedy. Live in a car. Live in a car. I read, Ladies and gentlemen, Lenny Bruce. He lived at the Chelsea. He did comedy at fucking burlesque shows, and he lived with a bunch of dirty strippers.
- [70:32]
Chazz Palminteri
He never made money, Right.
- [70:33]
Joey Diaz
I don't know. He shot heroin. But he didn't matter if you read. He hung out with strippers, then he went back to the Chelsea, he banged them, and he shot heroin. I'm in. I don't need to make money. It was $65 a week to live at the Chelsea.
- [70:47]
Chazz Palminteri
Wow.
- [70:47]
Joey Diaz
I'm just saying.
- [70:48]
Chazz Palminteri
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- [70:49]
Joey Diaz
Let me tell you something. One day you get to be with CAA, and one day you do get a manager like 3 Arts.
- [70:56]
Chazz Palminteri
Yeah.
- [70:56]
Joey Diaz
And one day you are selling our feeders.
- [70:59]
Chazz Palminteri
Yeah.
- [70:59]
Joey Diaz
And guess what? You still fight for your life like a motherfucker.
- [71:03]
Chazz Palminteri
Absolutely.
- [71:04]
Joey Diaz
Even double than when you weren't making money.
- [71:06]
Chazz Palminteri
That's it. True.
- [71:07]
Joey Diaz
You're fighting. You're waking up in the morning with foam coming out of your mouth.
- [71:10]
Chazz Palminteri
Yeah.
- [71:10]
Joey Diaz
Because you know you're gonna get somebody who's gonna try to fuck with you. Today.
- [71:14]
Chazz Palminteri
Yeah.
- [71:14]
Joey Diaz
Every fucking day. And that's what got me.
- [71:17]
Chazz Palminteri
I just. I just. I just write and keep writing and act and direct. And that's why I've been around 40 years. I just keep doing it. I don't let nobody stop me, man. That's it. Fuck it.
- [71:29]
Joey Diaz
62 years old. I've been with SAG since 1997. I got no insurance. Can somebody tell me how the fuck that's possible? When I joined SAG, if you were 45 and been there for 10 years, you were vested.
- [71:43]
Chazz Palminteri
True.
- [71:43]
Joey Diaz
All of a sudden they changed the rules. Well, because I'm paying three grand a month of fucking insurance.
- [71:48]
Chazz Palminteri
Yeah, because too many people did you then they even changed it. Used to be you had to. They counted residuals. They don't do anymore. Now they stop doing that. So now you gotta work every year and make 35,000.
- [72:09]
Joey Diaz
Frank. You got to that level, then they threw more curveballs at you. You know, when I started comedy, here's the deal, Joey. Become a regular, get on a TV show, do six episodes. After that, you sell out, and an agent will sign you. I did four movies before an agent even, and I had like six different little agents. And those were before the commercial day. So you had to hand deliver. They didn't know who I was with. I would do showcases, invite all my four agents, and I put them each a different size. They didn't know they all four sucked. But between all four of them, I get something from time to time.
- [72:50]
Chazz Palminteri
Right? Right, right, right.
- [72:51]
Joey Diaz
Because at least one of them but you. I learned how they saw me, also what I was going out for and what. There was one guy who sent me out for Latino auditions. He's fired. No Latino roles, right? Never.
- [73:06]
Chazz Palminteri
Right.
- [73:07]
Joey Diaz
Don't let me read and take me to producers. But they want Chico and the man, they don't want me. They got his tan. So you learn about the guys who send you out, like construction people, that some people send you out as a chef, and it's just one guy waiting for the mom store. So you learn all that shit, you learn the business, and that's the opportunity you had. And I had that. I really learned. There was a time. Chaz, you know how I got the longest yard, huh? They weren't going to give it to me. They were going to give it to Vincent or Saragusa.
- [73:38]
Chazz Palminteri
Yeah.
- [73:38]
Joey Diaz
I was in Houston, I got coked up. And I was thinking how the fucking Adam Sandler is a comic. That's a comedy movie. I love Vincent. He's not a comic.
- [73:49]
Chazz Palminteri
Right.
- [73:49]
Joey Diaz
And neither is Saragusa. So I went to play it again, sports. And I bought everything a size too small. And I had Chuck Savage, a friend of mine in Houston, tape me playing football at the University of Houston. I sent it to Chris Rock and he sent it to Adam. And I learned that, so I started doing that. That's how I booked American Gangster. And they broke up the movie and they put Fucko in it instead of Leonardo. Right, Whatever. I had that. I sent the tape. I used to just send tapes. It. I would go on pre. Yeah, pre production. If the movie was shooting in New York, I didn't even know the role. I would just set the tape. I'm Joe Diaz. I'm from the Upper west side. Yeah, I mean, what the fuck you got to lose? It's better than sitting there.
- [74:32]
Chazz Palminteri
I always tell young kids, show up, man.
- [74:34]
Joey Diaz
Show up. That's the other thing that if you're not gonna show up, it ain't worth your while.
- [74:39]
Chazz Palminteri
If you don't show up, it ain't gonna work.
- [74:41]
Joey Diaz
You with the Bluebird of Happiness is not gonna knock on your door with an Adam Sandler movie.
- [74:45]
Chazz Palminteri
It's one of the biggest 85% of success in life is showing up, man.
- [74:48]
Joey Diaz
That's it. You got to get up in the morning. And I was snorting coke till 6. I'm up at 7:30 with the breakdowns.
- [74:54]
Chazz Palminteri
I. I just.
- [74:55]
Joey Diaz
Okay, I'm up at 7:30 with the breakdown. This is dead. Yeah, I don't even think there's breakdowns anymore. Yeah, I would be up at 7 with the breakdowns. So my agents had the roles by the time they got to their office. And then at 9:01, everybody got a call. Yo, did you get what I sent you? Call them up, see what they could do. And I would wait for the first idiot to call me back. If they didn't call me, then I'd call them each.
- [75:18]
Chazz Palminteri
Absolutely.
- [75:18]
Joey Diaz
What happened with the call the chairs? Ah, that casting director isn't in. Fuck you. And I wait and then I call the cast. Yeah, because I ain't waiting on you bitches.
- [75:27]
Chazz Palminteri
No, I'm not. No, listen, I just did three shows in a row. Three big theaters. Sold out every theater. I was exhausted. I woke up this morning. My wife says, oh, you can rest today. I said, no, I gotta go. Joey Diaz called me to do a show. She goes, are you kidding? Aren't you gonna rest? I said, no. Going. It's like, no. I got the opportunity to be with you to do a great show. I'm fucking going. That's it. Show up. Show the fuck up. That's how I am.
- [75:55]
Joey Diaz
Everybody cries so much in California and other places and guys. This just didn't happen. This just didn't happen, you know? Yeah. The sky's aligned from time to time and. Yeah, you just got to keep getting up every morning going, what the am I gonna do next? This month I wanted to work, but I have health issues.
- [76:15]
Chazz Palminteri
Right.
- [76:15]
Joey Diaz
You know, I got the shortness of breath going on and my diverculitis. So I gotta keep. And now it's eating me alive.
- [76:22]
Chazz Palminteri
But you gotta take care of yourself now.
- [76:23]
Joey Diaz
I'm trying. You see me over here drinking water?
- [76:25]
Chazz Palminteri
Water, yeah. Yeah.
- [76:27]
Joey Diaz
Well, That's Coke in 17 years. I'm loyal. I'm a loyal soldier. You know what I'm saying?
- [76:32]
Chazz Palminteri
I got you.
- [76:33]
Joey Diaz
It's not like I'm eating sausage every day.
- [76:38]
Chazz Palminteri
Yeah.
- [76:38]
Joey Diaz
You know, when I moved here, I thought there was going to be a problem. But then I came back and I'm like, I don't really. You know, I grew up on two slices a day. Right. We all did. Two slices and a Coke for a quarter. All day long at 2:30. I hold you over till 6. I don't even eat pizza now.
- [76:53]
Chazz Palminteri
Yeah.
- [76:54]
Joey Diaz
You know, so it's like.
- [76:55]
Chazz Palminteri
Yeah, you gotta take care.
- [76:56]
Joey Diaz
I'm 62. It's a hard body. I ran from cops, you know.
- [77:01]
Chazz Palminteri
Yeah.
- [77:01]
Joey Diaz
I ate prison food for nine months.
- [77:03]
Chazz Palminteri
All right.
- [77:04]
Joey Diaz
That's like smoking cigarettes. Oh, yeah. Eating that.
- [77:06]
Chazz Palminteri
Being in there for nine months. Oh, yeah. Yeah.
- [77:10]
Joey Diaz
So it's not like I'm a virgin here, you know? Yeah, you're gonna have some issues later on in life. I've been smoking dope since I'm 12. That means I'm officially smoking dop. 40 years. What do you think? What do you think?
- [77:22]
Lee Syed
Congratulations.
- [77:23]
Joey Diaz
Now is when you start smoking Marlboro Reds.
- [77:26]
Chazz Palminteri
Yeah. But you gotta be careful, because after 50, the warranty runs out.
- [77:30]
Joey Diaz
Shit. In the last six months, I had a yeast infection in my ear. An infection? A loose tooth. My denture in the back is loose. Now my fungi toenail was worse than that, but I got diverculitis. My rash is back. And I got fucking. I got a rash that won't go away. They just shot me with everything.
- [77:53]
Chazz Palminteri
Right, Right.
- [77:54]
Joey Diaz
Maximilian. They shot me with more antibiotics. Everything disappeared. Except that rash came back, like, three days later, right under my tit.
- [78:02]
Chazz Palminteri
It's like a fucking alien.
- [78:03]
Joey Diaz
It's under my tit. It's fucking here. It's on this foot. It sucks getting old, but what do you. You can't give up. Can't give up. Today I went to box. I couldn't breathe.
- [78:15]
Chazz Palminteri
Yeah.
- [78:16]
Joey Diaz
I lasted 10 minutes today. I put music on.
- [78:19]
Chazz Palminteri
Yeah.
- [78:19]
Joey Diaz
And I just Started boxing. I started huffing and puffing. I stayed in there. I did some. Yeah, whatever. You call those bats. The club bats. Like, they didn't.
- [78:29]
Chazz Palminteri
Whatever, right?
- [78:30]
Joey Diaz
And I was like, I'm good tomorrow, all I gotta do is 15.
- [78:33]
Chazz Palminteri
That's it.
- [78:34]
Joey Diaz
As long as you get a little better every.
- [78:36]
Chazz Palminteri
That's it. You're right, bro.
- [78:37]
Joey Diaz
That's it.
- [78:38]
Chazz Palminteri
You're right.
- [78:39]
Joey Diaz
Living like a doctor, dog.
- [78:41]
Chazz Palminteri
Yeah.
- [78:41]
Joey Diaz
Everybody's trying to sell this shit to you, and it's just easy.
- [78:44]
Chazz Palminteri
Yeah.
- [78:45]
Joey Diaz
Get up.
- [78:46]
Chazz Palminteri
I'm telling you, it's.
- [78:47]
Joey Diaz
Write your day out. Let these. Know what you're thinking.
- [78:50]
Chazz Palminteri
I work at it every day, Joey. Every day I get up and I go, what am I going to do today to make my career better? That's the way it's got to be, man. I mean, I enjoy my life. I have a great time with my family, but every day my mind's on the. I'm on the fucking ball with something. And that's why I've been around this long. You gotta. You gotta do it, man. You gotta.
- [79:10]
Joey Diaz
I see you out a lot, man.
- [79:12]
Chazz Palminteri
Yeah.
- [79:12]
Joey Diaz
You do the cigar nights?
- [79:14]
Chazz Palminteri
Yeah, I have a cigar line. I have a.
- [79:16]
Joey Diaz
You just.
- [79:17]
Chazz Palminteri
And I. And I don't. One day I just want to lay on a beach and just write. So I say, okay. So I. I want to write. I have a. I have a. Two restaurants. I have a cigar line. I have a wine that's doing great. You know, it's all planned, but you got to work at it, you know?
- [79:33]
Joey Diaz
No, I got no hobbies. Like, I would have a cigar night, but I don't smoke cigars.
- [79:37]
Chazz Palminteri
I don't. Yeah, I don't smoke. I smoke very rarely.
- [79:39]
Joey Diaz
Oh, I hate it. And then they hit you with the cigar breath?
- [79:41]
Chazz Palminteri
Yeah.
- [79:42]
Joey Diaz
Oh, it really kills you.
- [79:43]
Chazz Palminteri
Yeah.
- [79:43]
Joey Diaz
They start getting.
- [79:45]
Chazz Palminteri
I dedicated a cigar to my grandfather was. Who was this? So I get away with it like that. I don't.
- [79:50]
Joey Diaz
Which is true.
- [79:51]
Chazz Palminteri
Yeah.
- [79:52]
Joey Diaz
So it's like I can't put a bottle of wine out. Yeah, I could, but I'm lying to people.
- [79:56]
Chazz Palminteri
You're lying. Yeah. Well, I can drink.
- [79:58]
Joey Diaz
This wine is the best. Joe, you don't drink with. I've never seen you hanging out with Julius Caesar.
- [80:03]
Chazz Palminteri
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- [80:04]
Joey Diaz
You know.
- [80:04]
Chazz Palminteri
Yeah.
- [80:05]
Joey Diaz
I don't know what. Like, I tried the weed line and I'm not doing that again. That's a waste of time.
- [80:10]
Chazz Palminteri
You're very rare. They make money with that. There are some people who do.
- [80:14]
Joey Diaz
I did for a while, and then it all went south and it's like, you know what everybody's got? Fake accounting.
- [80:19]
Chazz Palminteri
Yes.
- [80:20]
Joey Diaz
And I figured out unless you're doing it, you're picking it, growing it.
- [80:23]
Chazz Palminteri
Absolutely.
- [80:24]
Joey Diaz
Packaging it. There's no dough. Everybody's always wanting.
- [80:27]
Chazz Palminteri
Everybody's always with a small 5%.
- [80:29]
Joey Diaz
What's up, Lee? Hit him. You all right? You're sitting there like Zombo. Look at you.
- [80:34]
Chazz Palminteri
You had a little sleep? No, I'm good.
- [80:36]
Lee Syed
I'm good. I. I was. I was wondering.
- [80:39]
Chazz Palminteri
Got some edibles. You got an edible look on?
- [80:42]
Lee Syed
I do, I do. Holy.
- [80:46]
Joey Diaz
Holy.
- [80:47]
Chazz Palminteri
I busted you, didn't I?
- [80:49]
Lee Syed
Not busted, but yeah.
- [80:51]
Chazz Palminteri
Yeah, like you're ripped.
- [80:53]
Joey Diaz
Oh, look at him.
- [80:55]
Chazz Palminteri
He's real.
- [80:55]
Joey Diaz
He should be. Excuse me.
- [80:57]
Lee Syed
What are those vile things?
- [80:58]
Joey Diaz
We're taking him to rehab this week. He's not doing well, Shaz.
- [81:02]
Chazz Palminteri
Yeah, well, that's the first thing you got to do is rehab. Lay off the mushrooms.
- [81:08]
Joey Diaz
No. No mushrooms tonight. He just did 100 milligrams.
- [81:10]
Lee Syed
I did not do 100.
- [81:11]
Chazz Palminteri
I know he did some.
- [81:12]
Joey Diaz
Yeah.
- [81:12]
Chazz Palminteri
Oh, yeah. I'm looking at him.
- [81:14]
Joey Diaz
No good.
- [81:14]
Chazz Palminteri
What the am I gonna ask this guy?
- [81:16]
Joey Diaz
What were you gonna ask him? You forgot already 10 times.
- [81:19]
Chazz Palminteri
Oh, I forgot.
- [81:20]
Lee Syed
A million questions I wanted to ask.
- [81:24]
Chazz Palminteri
All right, well, I gotta tell you, you gotta be on your game, baby.
- [81:28]
Lee Syed
Oh, no shit.
- [81:30]
Chazz Palminteri
20 years from now.
- [81:31]
Lee Syed
No, I've loved. I was wondering how many people have told you about their rashes while they were interviewing you. But. But no, I had a.
- [81:42]
Chazz Palminteri
All right, we're good, babe.
- [81:44]
Joey Diaz
Poor bastard.
- [81:45]
Chazz Palminteri
Look at this shape.
- [81:47]
Joey Diaz
I can't give you nothing. So what do you got coming up?
- [81:50]
Chazz Palminteri
Talk to me.
- [81:51]
Joey Diaz
How many more dates on this?
- [81:53]
Chazz Palminteri
Oh, I'll be doing that. This is like the national tour again. I'm doing. All they have to do is go to chazpometary.net I'm going to be at Tarrytown next week. But that's sold out. But I'm going to be at Tarrytown. If you go to charispalitary.net my host schedule is there. You can get tickets right there. Or you could see it. You could see it shot with five cameras. The one man show. So on Amazon Prime, Google Fandangle, and what else? Amazon Prime, Apple, Apple tv. And that's doing great. So I'm very excited. I'm going back on Godfather Harlem with Forest Whitaker.
- [82:30]
Joey Diaz
That comes April 18th.
- [82:31]
Chazz Palminteri
April 18th.
- [82:32]
Joey Diaz
Yeah. I'm doing my homework.
- [82:33]
Chazz Palminteri
Yeah. And that's a great.
- [82:36]
Joey Diaz
And I'm coming show you like it too. You watch them.
- [82:39]
Chazz Palminteri
The fourth episode's coming out. Then I'm. I'm just. I'm on for the fifth episode, for the fifth season, and a gravesend I'm doing again. So there's a lot of stuff. I mean, I'm just like. I'm doing a movie in April in Rhode Island. I forgot the name of it with Chad Verie. And actually my son has the lead in it, and he's very excited about that. I have a small part which is good, and so I'm very. A lot of great things are happening. Really good. My life, every day I wake up and I look to God, I go, thank you, Jesus. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Every day I say that. Thank you. Because I look at my life and I look at where I came from, and I look at some guys that I grew up with and hung with, and some of the lot of them are not here. And some of them, you know, some did very well, some not. And I go, what? I. I don't know what I did right, but thank you. And I really do, Joe. I do. I say thank you. I'm so grateful. So grateful, man. Really.
- [83:44]
Joey Diaz
Thank you for what you do, man.
- [83:46]
Chazz Palminteri
And thank you. You're a great inspiration. You really are.
- [83:48]
Joey Diaz
You hired me. Yeah, he hired me.
- [83:51]
Chazz Palminteri
Yeah.
- [83:52]
Joey Diaz
A long time ago.
- [83:53]
Chazz Palminteri
I. Well, I see talent right away.
- [83:55]
Joey Diaz
You know, he didn't know all I had to do was get thrown in the pool.
- [83:59]
Chazz Palminteri
No, it was great. But you know what, people? You could just say, you know what? He's got that thing that people like.
- [84:06]
Joey Diaz
Enjoyed that role because I met two of the nicest walk on top of you. I met your buddy from Sons of Anarchy.
- [84:15]
Chazz Palminteri
Yes.
- [84:16]
Joey Diaz
The old guy that played who, Dayton. What's his name?
- [84:20]
Chazz Palminteri
Dayton Kelly.
- [84:21]
Joey Diaz
Dayton Callie. He was great, great. But I met that dude that died. He was on that show on cbs, and he died before. After he did the Travolta movie. New York guy. Really good guy.
- [84:38]
Chazz Palminteri
Yeah.
- [84:39]
Joey Diaz
You hired him as a. Yeah, he was one of the major roles in that movie.
- [84:43]
Chazz Palminteri
Yeah.
- [84:44]
Joey Diaz
Men versus Women was the men versus Women.
- [84:46]
Chazz Palminteri
That's correct.
- [84:47]
Joey Diaz
And he was on the set. And I was in awe.
- [84:51]
Chazz Palminteri
Yeah.
- [84:51]
Joey Diaz
Because I had grown up watching them on. Come on, guys. The show with the really good blonde woman that was on cbs. Sybil shepherd, one of those blondes on cbs. He played the plumber or something. Oh, come on now.
- [85:05]
Chazz Palminteri
Yes. Candace Burden and the show. And he was a great actor. Richard.
- [85:13]
Joey Diaz
What the was his name?
- [85:14]
Chazz Palminteri
I can't think of anybody.
- [85:15]
Joey Diaz
He schooled me, dog.
- [85:16]
Chazz Palminteri
Yeah, he was great.
- [85:17]
Joey Diaz
School schooled.
- [85:18]
Chazz Palminteri
Great actor.
- [85:19]
Joey Diaz
Schooled me. And you'll know who he is.
- [85:21]
Chazz Palminteri
You'll definitely die of an od. I think he did. They don't know.
- [85:25]
Joey Diaz
I don't know.
- [85:26]
Chazz Palminteri
No, I shouldn't say that. I don't know if he did.
- [85:28]
Joey Diaz
I don't know if he did, but I was dying asleep.
- [85:30]
Chazz Palminteri
He died. I was so.
- [85:31]
Joey Diaz
Yes. And I had just lost a role to him.
- [85:35]
Chazz Palminteri
Yeah.
- [85:35]
Joey Diaz
In that movie, the second part of Get Shorty.
- [85:39]
Chazz Palminteri
Yeah, he was.
- [85:39]
Joey Diaz
And usually I would tell those. I would go home and kill a chicken and do some Santeria to fucking.
- [85:44]
Chazz Palminteri
Get rid of them.
- [85:45]
Joey Diaz
And I went home going, you know, what if I lost a role to him? Yeah, I'm doing something right. It's me and him. I'm doing something right. Because this guy was.
- [85:54]
Chazz Palminteri
You know what? I've been very fortunate, you know. Richie, Richie, Richie, Richie. First name was Richie. Funny guy. What about me? Oh, he was funny. He always go, what about me? What about me? Funny guy, man.
- [86:07]
Joey Diaz
And he's in the movie with Arnold Schwarzbger.
- [86:10]
Chazz Palminteri
Yeah.
- [86:10]
Joey Diaz
When they do. What's the movie? The other guys in that movie, you know the guy who's. Who plays the gangster Joe in. In Bullets Over Broadway. Joe. The one that Joe Farrelli. Joe Verelli was. Neighbor. Sean Penn talked him into fucking acting. Yeah, that dude. Joe Vitarelli. Joe Vitch is in that movie too.
- [86:34]
Chazz Palminteri
Terrific.
- [86:34]
Joey Diaz
The one they. Oh, the one with Vanessa Williams. Yeah, the Fed movie with. With Arnold. Kidnapped Vanessa Williams and she's got the paperwork to the mob in Baltimore.
- [86:45]
Chazz Palminteri
There was a lot of people I hired as. As a writer and director. Billy Porter. I just saw Billy Porter, you know, recently, and he. Now he's, you know, Billy's huge. And he just had talent. When you see people like that, they just exude talent. And I knew from, you know. And who's the guy who played Basquiat? Great actor. Oh, my God, a black actor. He's. I forgot his name. But he did. He did a small part for me in a movie I did. I produced, and he did it. I said, this guy. And he did this little part and he was so great. And now he's huge mega star. And you could just see it. You would. No blowing smoke. You were the same way. It's just a character. It's a character. It's like bigger than life. When I saw you on stage, when I went to see you on stage, the cr. It was like a Mooney convention. They were screaming, ah, Joey, you didn't even come out yet. And you opening for Joe, you know.
- [87:44]
Joey Diaz
Oh, in Atlantic City.
- [87:45]
Chazz Palminteri
Atlantic City.
- [87:45]
Joey Diaz
Yes.
- [87:46]
Chazz Palminteri
And I said, holy, what the is going on?
- [87:50]
Joey Diaz
Yes.
- [87:50]
Chazz Palminteri
And. And it was screaming like it was like a cold. Joey. Joey. And then you come out and your first words are, what's up? And the place goes nuts.
- [88:02]
Joey Diaz
They love all that what's up? All day long.
- [88:09]
Chazz Palminteri
Believe it. I mean, and mobs of people. It's just, you know, you, you have the hit thing. You know what I mean?
- [88:15]
Joey Diaz
You go out.
- [88:15]
Chazz Palminteri
You know what I mean? How you doing?
- [88:17]
Lee Syed
I'm doing great.
- [88:18]
Chazz Palminteri
Right. You want to.
- [88:19]
Lee Syed
I'm back.
- [88:20]
Chazz Palminteri
I Was to call 911 or anything?
- [88:22]
Lee Syed
Not yet.
- [88:22]
Joey Diaz
Yet.
- [88:23]
Lee Syed
I was going to ask you about your podcast, how you got started with your podcast.
- [88:27]
Chazz Palminteri
You know, I'm glad you brought that up. People want to see me on my podcast. Go to Chaz promentary Show. It's on YouTube, it's on Google, Apple and it's a great show, man.
- [88:38]
Joey Diaz
I saw the one with Fat Joe.
- [88:40]
Chazz Palminteri
Yeah, Fat Joe is young.
- [88:41]
Joey Diaz
I'm a big fan of.
- [88:42]
Chazz Palminteri
I've had a lot of good people's been on. I got a lot of good people, man.
- [88:49]
Joey Diaz
I've been on.
- [88:49]
Chazz Palminteri
You've been on.
- [88:50]
Lee Syed
Our friend.
- [88:51]
Joey Diaz
We had a good time.
- [88:52]
Chazz Palminteri
You've been on. You tore the place up. It's great.
- [88:54]
Joey Diaz
Had those. My wife, food tremendous.
- [88:57]
Chazz Palminteri
My wife is Joey Diaz, the nicest person. I said, I said. And she. He's always like, she always talking about, oh, please tell Joey I said hi. And he's always going, send you. I said, hey, Joey, you my wife? I felt like De Niro in Raging.
- [89:12]
Joey Diaz
She's a sister from down there.
- [89:13]
Chazz Palminteri
Yeah, I know. She grew up right down there.
- [89:16]
Joey Diaz
Yeah, that's. I thought she was going to come with you. I'm heartbroken.
- [89:19]
Chazz Palminteri
Yeah, no, she couldn't.
- [89:21]
Joey Diaz
She went down the corner. Yeah, I think she said 48th Street.
- [89:24]
Chazz Palminteri
Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's.
- [89:26]
Joey Diaz
That's family. You know, when you, you know, when I see her, she's beautiful. What nationality is she?
- [89:31]
Chazz Palminteri
What?
- [89:31]
Joey Diaz
What nationality?
- [89:33]
Chazz Palminteri
Full Italian. First generation Italian. She came here, she couldn't speak English. How's that all the time? Wow.
- [89:42]
Joey Diaz
Yeah, ain't around.
- [89:45]
Chazz Palminteri
What's that?
- [89:45]
Joey Diaz
Union City put out some good looking women.
- [89:47]
Chazz Palminteri
Oh yeah, my wife's good looking.
- [89:49]
Joey Diaz
His grandmother, Union City beauty queen.
- [89:53]
Chazz Palminteri
Yeah, that's great, man. Pretty girls in Jersey. Jersey girls, man. As the song says, bro. Well, really, thanks for having me, Joe dog.
- [90:02]
Joey Diaz
It's an honor to have you on here and I can't wait to see you on Godfather Harlem.
- [90:08]
Chazz Palminteri
Thank you. I appreciate that.
- [90:09]
Joey Diaz
That's one of my favorite fucking shows. I've been waiting for two years.
- [90:12]
Chazz Palminteri
Yeah, I know. It's fine.
- [90:13]
Joey Diaz
I know that the chin is gone.
- [90:15]
Chazz Palminteri
Yes.
- [90:15]
Joey Diaz
But I'm sure he worked around and everything's going to be beautiful.
- [90:18]
Chazz Palminteri
Everything's gonna be great.
- [90:19]
Joey Diaz
I'm gonna tell you who's real quick. I'm gonna tell you who blows me away lately.
- [90:23]
Chazz Palminteri
Who?
- [90:24]
Joey Diaz
Bo. Dle.
- [90:25]
Chazz Palminteri
Oh, Bo's great.
- [90:26]
Joey Diaz
Bo is getting better and better and better. How is his Monday night? Should I go to one of them?
- [90:31]
Chazz Palminteri
Yes.
- [90:32]
Joey Diaz
I just feel we, you know, he's got a lot of heavy duty people there.
- [90:36]
Chazz Palminteri
Oh, you should go.
- [90:37]
Joey Diaz
Judges.
- [90:37]
Chazz Palminteri
I've been there. It's great.
- [90:39]
Joey Diaz
Okay. Because he's asked me, Joe.
- [90:41]
Chazz Palminteri
Oh, you know, but boys, I love. Bo is great. And let me tell you something. Bo was the Irishman with Bob De Niro and Al Pacino. He held his own.
- [90:50]
Joey Diaz
He held his own. He held his own without the shirt, with the watermelon.
- [90:54]
Chazz Palminteri
Watermelon.
- [90:55]
Joey Diaz
All that. He was great.
- [90:57]
Chazz Palminteri
He's smart. He plays these parts. That's right in his wheelhouse. You know what I'm saying? And he's great at it, man. He's. And I worked with him in Godfather. He's great at it. He really. And a great guy, too.
- [91:11]
Joey Diaz
So you're coming back?
- [91:12]
Chazz Palminteri
Yeah.
- [91:13]
Joey Diaz
Because you went away. They sent you away.
- [91:15]
Chazz Palminteri
Yeah, they sent me away after I did two seasons and they sent me away because he, my character, I got exiled. They were going to kill me. So I went to retirement and they just brought me back for season four and five.
- [91:27]
Joey Diaz
You wrote the book when you were away?
- [91:30]
Chazz Palminteri
What book?
- [91:31]
Joey Diaz
The book he wrote man of Honor.
- [91:33]
Chazz Palminteri
No, I didn't write man of Honor.
- [91:35]
Joey Diaz
Not you, your character.
- [91:37]
Chazz Palminteri
Oh, my character? Yes. Oh, I'm sorry, I said, I said.
- [91:41]
Joey Diaz
What the fuck is that when he writes a book when he goes away for those two years?
- [91:43]
Chazz Palminteri
Well, they're gonna talk about it. I'm not supposed to talk about it.
- [91:46]
Joey Diaz
What the fuck do you think you're dealing with? Joey Bananas.
- [91:48]
Chazz Palminteri
Fucking Joe Bananas.
- [91:49]
Joey Diaz
I just walked on a Hunter county park on a raft. I love you, my brother. God bless you.
- [91:53]
Chazz Palminteri
Thank you.
- [91:54]
Joey Diaz
And support Chaz any way you can.
- [91:56]
Chazz Palminteri
Thank you.
- [91:57]
Joey Diaz
Lee, where you at this weekend?
- [91:58]
Lee Syed
I'm at the House of Comedy in Minnesota opening up for Josh Wolf Friday and Saturday.
- [92:02]
Joey Diaz
And me, I got dick. I'm on a sabbatical. I'm trying to get healthy. I'll let you know. I'll do some pop up shows. Lee will definitely come and you guys are fantastic. Thank you very much for watching the show. And it's my Birthday. Wednesday.
- [92:16]
Chazz Palminteri
Hey, happy birthday. Hey, happy birthday.
- [92:19]
Joey Diaz
I'm officially three years collecting social. And I'm taking it because that means my daughter gets three years.
- [92:24]
Chazz Palminteri
Wow.
- [92:25]
Joey Diaz
So she's 18.
- [92:26]
Chazz Palminteri
That's great.
- [92:26]
Joey Diaz
So whatever they give me, they give her. So.
- [92:28]
Chazz Palminteri
That's right.
- [92:28]
Joey Diaz
I just got to stay alive now. I love you cocksuckers. Stay black. Hey, Uncle Joey, here. Listen, it's time to get that dick in proper working order. It's February already, you know what I'm saying? Valentine's Day has passed, but it's a long year. You got a sling dick on a daily. With these animals out there, bluechew can make it happen. Their online service delivers ED meds straight to your door with the same active ingredients as Viagra and Cialis, but at a fraction of the cost and in chewable form. What does that mean? You could be anywhere, drinking a glass of vino. You see one of your little girls over by the corner, she's playing hard to get. You pop a Blue Chew, you wiggle over and you're ready to rock and roll. You know what I'm saying? Bluechew has everything you need to spice up the bedroom. Even if your thing is working right, you got to have extra ammunition. Sometimes the communists just come out of the trees, you know what I'm saying? But blue chew tablets are made in the US Of A. Jack, and the whole process is taken care of online. So you don't need to make an appointment, you don't need to sit with creepy people, you don't need to go to the pharmacy, Nothing like that. Me personally, I Love Bluechew. I'm 62. I don't need ED medication. But let me tell you something. Like I said, you got to get all your bullets in order and you got to bring extras. Nowadays, you take a tablet any time of the day and you get ready for a great time. I don't care if it's in the morning. At night you're going to feel tip top, Magoo. Now make life easier by getting harder and discover your options@bluechew.com and we got a special deal for the listeners. Ready try get your first month of Bluechew for free. That's right, it's Tuesday. I'm showing up with a gift, you little bitches. Just visit bluechew.com for more details and important safety information. And I want to thank BlueChew for sponsoring the show and helping you sling dick like you're supposed to. Like God intended, you know what I'm saying?