Forgiveness is often framed as a moral ideal. But what happens when the wound is still open?

In his new book The Forgiveness Experiment, Rabbi Yisroel Bernath of Montreal makes the case that forgiveness is a form of self-liberation, not a gift to those who caused you harm.

After Yom ha-Shoah but ahead of Yom ha-Zikaron on Monday April 20, that idea collides with a painful reality: for many Jews, October 7 is not history: it is still happening. As is the war with Iran and Hezbollah.

Among the 30,000 soldiers and victims of terror being remembered is the name of Yotam Haim. The kidnapped Israeli hostage managed to escape his captors in Gaza but then was mistakenly killed by the IDF. His family has publicly forgiven the troops involved.

That story of grace despite horrific pain is part of Rabbi Bernath’s new book. Bernath is a relationship expert, leader with the Chabad community in N.D.G. and at Concordia University. He lays out his own personal path and tackles the question of how to move on from being a victim.

On today’s episode of The CJN’s “North Star” podcast, Rabbi Bernath sits down with our producer Andrea Varsany to reveal how he did it.

Related links

Learn more about Rabbi Yisroel Bernath
Find the book “ The Forgiveness Experiment” to read his lessons on forgiveness and on moving forward from trauma and pain to peace.
Rabbi Bernath was one of The CJN’s relationship columnists before the pandemic and now runs a Jewish matchmaking service.

Credits

Host and writer: Ellin Bessner ( @ebessner )
Production team: Zachary Kauffman (senior producer), Andrea Varsany (producer), Michael Fraiman (executive producer), Alicia Richler (editorial director)
Music: Bret Higgins

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