Karol Markowicz Show: Motorhome Prophecies with Carrie Sheffield

Summary

The Clay Travis and Buck Sexton Show: Motorhome Prophecies with Carrie Sheffield

Episode Title: Karol Markowicz Show: Motorhome Prophecies with Carrie Sheffield
Release Date: February 21, 2025
Host: Carol Markowitz
Guest: Carrie Sheffield, Author of Motorhome Prophecies: A Journey of Healing and Forgiveness

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Introduction

In this poignant episode of The Clay Travis and Buck Sexton Show, host Carol Markowitz welcomes Carrie Sheffield, the author of Motorhome Prophecies: A Journey of Healing and Forgiveness. Carrie shares her deeply personal journey of overcoming childhood trauma, navigating complex family dynamics, and finding solace and redemption through faith. This conversation delves into the intersection of personal healing, mental health, and the role of spirituality in achieving inner peace.

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Background and Early Life

Carrie begins by discussing her tumultuous upbringing, marked by constant movement and instability. Her family lived in a motorhome for extended periods to evade authorities, leading to frequent relocations across various states. This nomadic lifestyle resulted in Carrie attending 17 public schools and experiencing both homeschooling and traditional education.

Notable Quote:
“With my seven biological siblings, our mom, all 10 of us, our dad made us live in the motorhome partially so that he could run away from authorities.” [06:20]

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Impact of Childhood Trauma

Central to Carrie’s narrative is the profound impact of childhood trauma. Her father, who proclaimed himself a Mormon prophet with aspirations of running for president, was sexually molested by a Mormon babysitter during his youth. This trauma not only affected him but also cast a long shadow over Carrie and her siblings, leading to instances of suicide attempts and emotional instability.

Notable Quote:
“He was sexually molested by a Mormon babysitter when he was young. And as I looked into the research, children who suffer sexual assault are multiple times more likely to commit suicide as an adult.” [13:18]

---

Relationship with Faith and Religion

Carrie’s relationship with faith is complex and evolves significantly over time. Initially, her father’s abusive behavior, cloaked in religious fervor, distanced her from organized religion and God. However, as she grappled with her trauma, Carrie began to distinguish between God and religion, eventually embracing Christianity as a source of healing and strength.

Notable Quote:
“Don't confuse God with religion. They are not the same thing. Religion is at best an institution that will point you to God.” [24:38]

---

Mental Health and Therapy

The discussion shifts to the mental health industry's current state, which Carrie critiques for its emphasis on rumination over redemption. She highlights the lack of integration between faith and mental health care, despite significant evidence supporting the benefits of religious belief on psychological well-being.

Notable Quote:
“The more I researched it, it was just the probabilities of creation and the earth being the way it is to be random. It actually takes more faith to be an atheist.” [12:31]

Carrie emphasizes the necessity of 'good therapy', one that incorporates faith and spirituality to provide holistic healing, contrasting with mainstream approaches that often neglect these elements.

---

Writing the Book: Motorhome Prophecies

Carrie's book, initially conceptualized as a secular conservative manifesto, underwent a profound transformation as she embraced her faith. Motorhome Prophecies chronicles her departure from agnosticism, her struggles with self-worth, and her ultimate journey towards forgiveness and healing.

Notable Quote:
“The book is about my father. The reason he had us live this way is because he claimed to be a Mormon prophet, hence the name Motorhome Prophecies.” [13:18]

She articulates her motivation to help others who have experienced similar traumas and those exploring their spiritual paths, aiming to provide them with tools for freedom from pain and depression.

---

Personal Transformation and Recovery

Throughout the interview, Carrie shares her ongoing journey of self-discovery and healing. She discusses participating in the Atlas Project, a program designed to address childhood trauma and its lingering effects. This experience helped her understand the patterns of self-sabotage and toxic relationships rooted in her past.

Notable Quote:
“Because I had fundamentally not accepted my own worthiness, that I was encouraging and attracting and staying with men who felt the same way.” [27:17]

Carrie's insights underscore the importance of self-awareness and acceptance in breaking free from destructive cycles and fostering healthier relationships.

---

Advice and Insights

When asked about the advice she would give her 16-year-old self, Carrie emphasizes the importance of maintaining faith and not conflating God with the shortcomings of organized religion. She encourages young listeners to seek a personal relationship with God through prayer and community, highlighting the protective and restorative power of spirituality.

Notable Quote:
“Don't walk away from God... Prayer can dramatically change your perspective and stabilize your life.” [24:56]

Carrie also addresses broader societal concerns, such as mental health stigma and ideological shifts, advocating for a return to foundational values rooted in faith and truth.

---

Conclusion

Carrie Sheffield’s story, as shared on the Clay Travis and Buck Sexton Show, is a testament to resilience and the transformative power of faith. Her candid exploration of trauma, therapy, and spirituality offers valuable insights for anyone grappling with similar challenges. By integrating faith into her healing process, Carrie not only overcame her past but also paved the way for others to find their own paths to forgiveness and inner peace.

Final Notable Quote:
“Whatever you're dealing with, go to God. God never fails. And whatever you're dealing with, go to God.” [31:15]

---

Key Takeaways

• Childhood Trauma: Profoundly impacts long-term mental health and relationship patterns.
• Faith vs. Religion: Distinguishing between a personal relationship with God and the institutional aspects of religion.
• Mental Health Integration: The need for therapy approaches that incorporate faith for holistic healing.
• Personal Growth: Self-awareness and acceptance are crucial in overcoming past traumas and building healthier relationships.
• Advice to Youth: Encouraging young individuals to maintain faith and not equate negative experiences with abandonment by God.

Carrie Sheffield’s Motorhome Prophecies serves as both a memoir and a guide for those seeking healing through faith, making this episode a must-listen for individuals on their own journeys of forgiveness and self-discovery.

Transcript

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Hi and welcome back to the Carol Markowitz show on iheartradio. No monologue today, but coming up, an interview with Carrie Sheffield. Join us after the break.

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[Carol Markowitz]

Welcome back to the Carol Markowitz show on iheartradio. My guest today is Carrie Sheffield. Carrie is author of Motorhome A Journey of Healing and Forgiveness. So nice to have you on Carrie.

[Carrie Sheffield]

Hey, Carol, thank you so much for having me. Good to be here.

[Carol Markowitz]

So your book has been compared to Vice President J.D. vance's book, Hillbilly Elegy. He credits his grandmother for helping him overcome a difficult childhood, not dissimilar from the one you describe in your book. To get to where he is today. Did you have someone similar help you?

[Carrie Sheffield]

You know, Carol, Megyn Kelly asked me that same question. Did I have a mamaw? Because at the convention, that was a big theme for JD where he talked about the mamaw with the gun in every drawer. I need to read his book. I didn't read it because I didn't want to be accused of plagiarism. But now that the book's long out, here's the COVID of Folks want to check it out? Letter and prophecies. Um, I need to read it. But from what I've gleaned and what I told Megan was sometimes there is no mama.

[Carol Markowitz]

Mm.

[Carrie Sheffield]

And. And so in that respect, I've had to be my own mama. And it's. I have not done a good job at it at times. And so don't worry.

[Carol Markowitz]

Neither did Mima. Mima also did not do a good job at it at times. And he describes that.

[Carrie Sheffield]

Yeah, but I, I think to have a figure in your life that is defending you and looking out for you, I just didn't have that. And so for people who are listening, you know, viewers in your show, but maybe, maybe, you know, a child in your life who, maybe it's a distant niece or nephew or, or someone, you know, just know that you could be that person for someone, and maybe that's where God placed you. I think partially why it was a lot harder for us was because we were always moving. And I ended up going to 17 public schools and homeschool. So the name of the book is called Motorhome Prophecies, because with my seven biological siblings, our mom, all 10 of us, our dad made us live in the motorhome partially so that he could run away from authorities. One of the earliest memories I talk about in the book was child custody when I was about 4 years old or so, trying to take us away and taking us down to child protection services office and interviewing us. And we packed up and we hightailed it. That happened in Massachusetts, and we packed up and went to Utah to avoid, you know, scrutiny. And so the difference with, as I understand it, again, I need to read it. But with jd, it seemed like he had more, at least a little bit, you know, to some degree, different circumstances, obviously, but. But he at least was able to have a home. And in my case, we had sheds and tents and motorhomes. And so I told Megan, I was like, he's us. At the time, he was a U.S. senator, happily married with no kids. And like, I'm 41, not married, no kids. And I spent three days in a psych unit at age 36. And I don't think he did. So he's. He's had much better life outcomes as an adult than I have.

[Carol Markowitz]

You know, only so far.

[Carrie Sheffield]

Well, I mean, I. He's the second highest office in the land, so I think he's done pretty well for himself. So. But again, I'm not. And the thing is, I've learned also, since even the books come out, the more I was living in my victim story, the more I was keeping myself down, you know, and so clearly JD was able to get out of that victim story. And I think that's. Having a meemaw can help with that. And if you don't have that, then you've got to be able to do that yourself. And again, this isn't about me wanting to wallow in that victim story so much as with the book and even talking about childhood trauma is to realize that for a lot of people struggling with things like addiction, I mean, we have the highest suicide rate ever that's ever been recorded in the US History. Why? Why is that? And that's something that I've wrestled with a lot since the books come out. And I think a big part of it is that myself and a lot of us, we don't realize the impact of childhood trauma. Again, not as. As Abigail Shire would say, it's not about getting trapped in bad therapy.

[Carol Markowitz]

Right?

[Carrie Sheffield]

It's not about getting trapped in what I say it's. The question is do when I'm going to therapy, do I want redemption or do I want rumination? And I think the way that our mental health industry has been taken over by the left, it's become a rumination industry. It says, right, it's just a hamster wheel. And that's what addiction is. That's what alcoholism is. Drug addiction, in my case. And, you know, repeated traumas, I just get stuck in that hamster. Well, and so therapy can do that if it's bad therapy. And so I like to say if there was a title for my book, I want it to be good therapy, because I support therapy. But I think that so much. Like, for example, more than 2/3 of therapists self identify as atheist or agnostic, of course.

[Carol Markowitz]

Right.

[Carrie Sheffield]

And yet 80% of Americans say they believe in God. So there's this huge gap. And there's a researcher who is devout Jewish. He's fantastic. He's at Harvard Medical School. I pray to God they don't try to cancel him. But his name is David Rosemarin. And he's found, for example, that 73% of mental health care patients say, I want mental health care integrated into my mental health care, and yet 71% of therapists say I have little to no training in how to do that.

[Carol Markowitz]

They want to integrate what into their mental health care.

[Carrie Sheffield]

Faith. Like faith faith, yeah. And because there's a lot of evidence to show, even just like with an mri, that people who believe in faith and believe in God and engage in regular faith practice, prayer, religious community, they do better. They do so much better.

[Carol Markowitz]

Right.

[Carrie Sheffield]

And yet our mental health industry does not promote this at all. So all I have to say is the book is about good therapy and, and how. How I eventually, despite our mental health care system, learned that I needed to integrate faith into my mental health care. And that's really helped me to stabilize and it's really helped me to overcome a lot of my inner self sabotage.

[Carol Markowitz]

What made you have to write motorhome prophecies? Why did you need to tell your story?

[Carrie Sheffield]

Yeah, so I, I wrote the story. Well, it's interesting. I call, I call this version my, my Paul book for those who are Christian. They'll know the story of Paul the Apostle vs Saul. So he had the given name Saul. So my first edition of the book, before it came out, my first iteration was I call that my Saul book pre. Pre conversion book. And that I started that way back in 2011. Goal for that book was going to be my secular conservative manifesto. And it was going to be my call for conservatism to be more embracing of atheists and agnostics. Interesting to. Because things have changed.

[Carol Markowitz]

Yeah, they have.

[Carrie Sheffield]

And that. And so that's the book. So just to take a step back, the book is about my father. The reason he had us live this way is because he claimed to be a Mormon prophet, hence the name Motorhome Prophecies. And he claimed that he would be president someday. And he made us travel around the country playing music on street corners and passing out brochures and try to convert them to be more people, to be Mormon. And it wasn't so far fetched that he could run for office because his father had been the Republican whip in the Utah legislature. So it's in my grandfather's obituary that if you turn right at a red light, that's legal because of the law. My grandpa wrote.

[Carol Markowitz]

Wow, I like that.

[Carrie Sheffield]

While driving.

[Carol Markowitz]

One of my favorites.

[Carrie Sheffield]

Yeah. And so if you're in Utah and you turn right a red light, you can thank Grandpa Sheffield. But. And so he was a successful lawmaker, my grandfather, and chairman of the Zoning and Planning Commission of Salt Lake City for a long time. So he helped define those, design those beautiful streets. And the. The idea of having my father be running for office is not too far fetched. I try to be as, as fair to my dad as possible, but unfortunately, my father was sexually molested by a Mormon babysitter when he was young. And as I looked into the research, children who suffer sexual assault are multiple times more likely to commit suicide as an adult. And he said that that attack made him feel suicidal as an adult, and it's pushed him over the edge. You know, childhood trauma affects you much more. The effects of trauma as a child are much more profound than on adults. And then unfortunately, if that's not treated, then it gets passed down through generations. And that's what he did to my siblings and I. To the point where four of my siblings have attempted suicide and I was suicidal. And so it's. It's very unfortunate that these intergenerational curses continue. And so I. And he put a curse on me in the name of Jesus, if I left the cult, if I left the motorhome. I have two schizophrenic brothers now who were healthy boys. And the older one tried to rape me. He groped me when I was 17, and when I was 18, I finally said I wanted to leave, I wanted to go to college. And so my father raised his right hand like he was making an Oath. And he said, I prophesy in the name of Jesus, you'll be raped and murdered if you leave. And to have someone put a curse on you in the name of Jesus can understand why. I didn't like Jesus for a long time. And so that was the place where I started to write the book was this place of anger toward organized religion, toward God. The idea of a loving father seemed so ridiculous. And you know, I figured if there was a God because I was agnostic, I was never atheist, which is, you know, I call it a fence sitter that you're shoulder, you're shoulder shrugging, you're like, I don't know.

[Carol Markowitz]

Right.

[Carrie Sheffield]

But if there is one. He seemed like he was a jerk and, and I so. And that he hated me and I hated him back. So that's where I was when I started to write the book. And then around that time I also had the idea I had a different book agent. I have Jonathan Berninsky now. I know you know Jonathan, but so my previous agent, he and I decided, because I had also had an idea to start it a media company, a tv, a digital TV network. And we both decided, let's do the media company first and then we can use that as a launch pad to get more attention and support for the book after. And so I figuratively put that book on the shelf.

[Carol Markowitz]

Right.

[Carrie Sheffield]

And in that period I became Christian.

[Carol Markowitz]

Kind of changed the thesis a little.

[Carrie Sheffield]

Bit, the whole premise. Yeah, the working title of that Saul book was the Heathen Next Door. How I Left Religion and Found Joy. Wow. Yeah. Totally different. And so, so now it's. It's that convert. It's the conversion story of my journey out of agnosticism. I first had to just in general believe in God. That was a journey. And then, and then specifically going to Christianity was another part of the journey. So. So now I wrote the book with the goal of speaking to people who, who both have. Maybe people have gone through abuse or trauma. And then also for people who are thinking about religious faith or faith or exploration, I get into some of the metaphysics. I'm a lay, lay person, but metaphysics was a big reason why I started to believe in God. The more I researched it, it was just the probabilities of creation and the earth being the way it is to be random. It actually takes more faith to be an atheist. So, so I wrote that book to, to really share my, my, my reasons for believing in God. And so it's a totally different book. But ultimately the goal is freedom. Freedom from pain, freedom from trauma, freedom from depression, freedom from doubt, freedom from living in darkness. Because ultimately that's what I think, the truth. You know, like the Bible says you should know the truth. The truth will set you free. I believe there's. I do believe there is a God. Now, the fact that he allows evil and darkness to occur does not mean that he endorses it. And I do believe that he will make all things right.

[Carol Markowitz]

Wow.

[Carrie Sheffield]

Yeah.

[Carol Markowitz]

That's a real twist in your story. We're going to take a quick break and be right back on the Carol Markowitz Show.

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So you've been through so much in your life. What advice would you give your 16 year old self? What would you want her to know?

[Carrie Sheffield]

Oh boy, there's so much run away from my brother, do not go near him. That way he can't attack me. But when I was 17. But no, I think the biggest one would be don't walk away from God, don't give up on God. Because I was agnostic for about 12 years and I call that my walk in darkness. And I think a lot of young people are going through that right now and what's been interesting to see is Gen Z is actually swinging back. I saw a piece that said that actually Gen Z is more likely to believe in God than their parents, which is fascinating. And so that gives me hope. But I think because our culture, you know, Hollywood media, academia has been taken over by this radical ideology, Marxist atheism, that wants to destroy Judeo Christian values. I understood that for a while because I was so abused by a man who claimed Judeo Christian values. And so that was part of why I, I had a hard time disaggregating the abuse from the philosophy or the sense. Yeah, yeah. So I would say don't, don't, don't be confused. Like, don't be confused that this one person, what he did to you is not illustrative of the broader values because he would go and preach pro America values on the street corners while passing out the brochures. And so in my head I had this sort of like deep hostility that was kind of latently trapped in there because I had been abused by him. And so I think for, for a lot of these students that we see on campuses, a lot of them see, and I, I say this over and over in the book, that God is not religion. And so if, if they're seeing, you know, pedophilia in the Catholic Church or a priest or a pastor stealing money or abusing women, that's not God. And it's sometimes it's easy to be confusing that. So that's what I would tell 16 year old Carrie.

[Carol Markowitz]

Interesting.

[Carrie Sheffield]

Don't confuse God with religion. They are not the same thing. Religion is at best an institution that will point you to God. Yeah. And it's like a word. Exactly. Yeah. It's a tool. But yeah. Don't confuse God with religion. I would tell her. And don't walk away from God.

[Carol Markowitz]

You went to Harvard on a full scholarship. You worked on Wall Street. You have this amazing book. Do you feel like you've made it? And are you surprised if you think. Yes. Are you surprised that you have?

[Carrie Sheffield]

Well, you know, it's interesting. Well, like I said, it's like the last long term boyfriend I had was cheating on me with multiple women. And it's like to me, success is not just the resume, it's the personal as well. And so in that respect, no, I'm a failure. Like, I want to have kids in the personal life, you know. But what I realized recently since figuring out why do I keep. And I have a chapter in the book called the Queen of Lonely Hearts of Just. It was the same man, but with different names over and over and over and over again. You know, a man who was a drug addict behind my back, a man who was an alcoholic behind my back, a man who verbally abused me, a man who emotionally abused me. It's like while I'm successful in my career, you know, I'm. I'm doing all these things externally that are really successful. Then I come home and then I just get, you know, emotionally abused and cheated on. So I was just like, why do I keep doing this?

[Carol Markowitz]

You know, you've had some trauma. I feel like you're right, that it does seep into other parts of your life and it's hard to get over. It's not like you just walk away from that. You know, the things you went through as a child and grow into a completely functional adult. It's hard for anyone really. And I think you've been through a lot, go a little easier on yourself.

[Carrie Sheffield]

Well, what I've realized recently, even actually since the book's gone out, I went through this amazing program and I've posted on Social about it a few times. It's called the Atlas Project. They're based in Las Vegas and Austin. So I Did it in Austin and I realized why I kept dating these types of men. And I would say men would have the same traumatized men would do the same similar things. So it's not, I'm not picking on one gender. It's about the childhood trauma effect. So I realized going through this program that because I had fundamentally not accepted my own worthiness, that I was encouraging and attracting and staying with men who felt the same way.

[Carol Markowitz]

That makes sense.

[Carrie Sheffield]

Yeah, because they themselves felt the same way about themselves too. Because that's ultimately what addiction is, you know, drug. Because I've never had substance abuse addiction problems, thank God. Like I've never. So I never understood like what's wrong with me, why do I keep like attracting these addicts? Like, right. What am I addicted to? And it's, but it's the same brain patterns of a, of a trauma victim, similar behavior. It comes down to self loathing or self hatred. And so that's what addiction is. And so working through all that, I realized the book really is more about the father wound, as they say. And I realized I had not really worked through the mother wound. And the mother wound was that my mother chose to stay with my father and who is a lot like these men. They're different, but in the same outcome, you know. And so she's been with him for almost 50 years. And so that pattern, it gets imprinted. That does, yeah, it gets imprinted on the child. And so subconsciously that's what I was attracted to. And so to just be aware of it is half the battle. So I'm like, thank God for this program because I'm like, I will, I will not allow this anymore. I'm much more sensitive to the red flags because before it was just, you know, begging this person to love me when they didn't deserve it at all.

[Carol Markowitz]

Well, I love that you've like discovered all these things about yourself and I believe in you. I think you're going to be okay. And this is, you know, a difficult road you've been on, but you have always seemed to me someone looking for the right path. And it does seem like you're on it.

[Carrie Sheffield]

Thank you. Well, if you know a great guy.

[Carol Markowitz]

I will definitely keep you in mind. What do you worry about?

[Carrie Sheffield]

So, I mean, there's a lot, there's, if anything, I, I, I was diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder, which is like worrying too much, but, but working through that, you know, it's, I, you know, and my faith also has helped to really temper that. My faith gives me the belief that whatever we're going through on this planet, God, God is sovereign at the end of the day. And so in that respect I don't worry about anything. But that's very abstract, so that's okay.

[Carol Markowitz]

We accept abstract here.

[Carrie Sheffield]

So I think though, like on a day to day though, you know, I'm worried about China overtaking us in the AI race. I'm worried about Marxist ideology overtaking our major institutions. And as Ronald Reagan said, freedom is never one, you know, just one generation away from perishing and it's up to us to claim it. And so I worry about that. But at the same time I do feel excited about what's happening in our country right now. I feel like truth is having a fabulous showing and that people are, are being red pilled and the, the fact that we're having, I, I think it's a, a cultural watershed moment to me is, is wonderful. And so that gives me a lot of hope.

[Carol Markowitz]

I love it, a lot of optimism there. So this has been an amazing conversation. You're so vulnerable and honest. It's really like, it's almost surprising. I don't feel like people open up like this. And I think everyone should go get your book Motorhome Prophecies. It's a really wonderful book. End us here with your best tip for my listeners on how they can improve their lives.

[Carrie Sheffield]

Thank you. Yeah, I would say go to God. That's, that's the, the, you know, God, the, the Bible says God is love. And I think as our society turns away from God, we turn away from love. That's really, when I was agnostic that I always thought that was a little sneaky of like the Bible says God is love, I believe in love. So by the transitive property you're saying I believe in God. I think that's sneaky. But like, yeah, I think the fact that our countries, you know, our motto is In God we trust is so unique within the, the human experience because before it's like in a king, we trust in weaponry, we trust in science, we trust, whatever. It's like whatever these things, they will all fail except God. God never fails. And so whatever you're dealing with, go to God. And for me as a Christian, I have my specific practices of how I, I think about God and we're a pluralistic society. I know we have a lot of Jewish people in the conservative movement, but any faith, I, you know, I believe that Christ is, is the way, the truth and the life. But the way to experience God is, is first and foremost. I think through prayer. And if you what's interesting, I I can't believe that this is not better expressed by marriage therapists. But if couples pray together daily they only have a 1% divorce rate. So it's individual prayer, community prayer, family prayer. I just think that is the best place to start and there are lots of things you can go from there.

[Carol Markowitz]

I love it. She is Carrie Sheffield. Her book is Motorhome A Journey of Healing and Forgiveness. Thank you so much for coming on. Carrie.

[Carrie Sheffield]

Thank you Carol.

[Carol Markowitz]

Thanks so much for joining us on the Carol Markowitz Show. Subscribe wherever you get your podcasts.

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