Karol Markowicz Show: Rebranding Marriage with Delano Squires

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Clay Travis and Buck Sexton Show – "Karol Markowicz Show: Rebranding Marriage with Delano Squires"

Release Date: April 30, 2025
Host/Author: iHeartPodcasts

---

Introduction to the Episode

In this engaging episode of The Clay Travis and Buck Sexton Show, titled "Karol Markowicz Show: Rebranding Marriage with Delano Squires," hosts Clay Travis and Buck Sexton delve into a profound conversation with Delano Squires, a research fellow in life, religion, and family at the Heritage Foundation. The discussion centers around the evolving institution of marriage, its challenges, and the necessity to rebrand it for contemporary society.

---

Delano Squires: A Journey into Marriage Research

Background and Path to Heritage Foundation
Delano Squires shares his unconventional journey to becoming a research fellow. With nearly 15 years in local government in Washington D.C., primarily focusing on community work in low-income neighborhoods and gun violence prevention, Delano transitioned to writing about marriage and family issues for over a decade. His contributions span various platforms, including Black and Married with Kids, The Root, The Griot, and The Federalist, culminating in a weekly column for The Blaze.

“My path is non conventional to say the least. Prior to coming to Heritage, I actually worked almost 15 years in local government in Washington D.C.”
— Delano Squires [09:23]

Facing Bureaucratic Challenges
Delano humorously recounts his departure from D.C. government, attributing it to being "pushed out" due to funding cuts. Despite this setback, he swiftly transitioned to the Heritage Foundation, maintaining his momentum in advocating for strong family structures.

---

Understanding the Decline in Marriage Rates

Misconceptions About Economic Factors
Delano challenges the common belief that economic instability is the primary reason for declining marriage rates. He emphasizes that even with increased material wealth, the non-marital birth rate has surged, indicating deeper cultural shifts.

“I don't think it's [economics] it at all.”
— Delano Squires [15:33]

Cultural and Policy Influences
Delano points to significant societal changes since the 1960s, highlighting the rise of big government liberalism and second-wave feminism. He argues that these movements inadvertently displaced men and shifted the perception of marriage, making it seem less essential.

“Big government displaces men. And I would say that second wave feminism deceived women.”
— Delano Squires [17:57]

The Parallel Family Structure
He introduces the concept of a "parallel family structure," where government support substitutes the traditional role of the father, undermining the institution of marriage and making single parenthood more culturally acceptable.

“Marriage is no longer seen as valuable, desirable, accessible, or indispensable when it comes to forming a family.”
— Delano Squires [16:59]

---

The Need to Rebrand Marriage

Shifting Cultural Norms
Delano emphasizes that marriage needs to adapt to current societal values and challenges. He proposes rebranding marriage to highlight its importance in providing stability and fulfillment, rather than adhering to outdated perceptions.

“I honestly think that marriage as an institution needs a rebrand.”
— Delano Squires [32:24]

Educational Parallels
Drawing a parallel with the educational system, Delano suggests that just as society universally promotes college education, it should similarly advocate for the institution of marriage as a foundational element of a stable family and society.

“We can do something similar with the ideal of putting marriage before carriage.”
— Delano Squires [25:26]

---

Advice for the Younger Generation

Prioritizing Relationships Over Partisanship
Delano advises young people to invest in meaningful relationships and community ties rather than becoming entangled in political divisions. He underscores the importance of family, friends, and faith commitments in fostering personal fulfillment and societal stability.

“Invest your energy and your resources in the people who are closest to you, the people who matter the most.”
— Delano Squires [34:17]

Encouraging Early Commitment
He advocates for marrying earlier to establish strong family units, countering the trend of delayed marriages. Delano believes that fostering an environment where marriage is prioritized can lead to more stable and fulfilling family lives.

“Letting them know that it's possible to do it earlier than most people think... that marriage and family are going to give you a level of personal fulfillment that you can't get anywhere else.”
— Delano Squires [33:49]

---

Conclusion

Delano Squires presents a compelling case for re-evaluating and rebranding the institution of marriage. By addressing cultural shifts, policy influences, and societal perceptions, he calls for a renewed emphasis on marriage as a cornerstone of family and societal stability. His insights encourage listeners to reflect on the value of strong familial bonds and the role of marriage in fostering a cohesive and resilient community.

---

Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Delano Squires [09:23]: “My path is non conventional to say the least. Prior to coming to Heritage, I actually worked almost 15 years in local government in Washington D.C.”

• Delano Squires [15:33]: “I don't think it's [economics] it at all.”

• Delano Squires [17:57]: “Big government displaces men. And I would say that second wave feminism deceived women.”

• Delano Squires [16:59]: “Marriage is no longer seen as valuable, desirable, accessible, or indispensable when it comes to forming a family.”

• Delano Squires [32:24]: “I honestly think that marriage as an institution needs a rebrand.”

• Delano Squires [25:26]: “We can do something similar with the ideal of putting marriage before carriage.”

• Delano Squires [34:17]: “Invest your energy and your resources in the people who are closest to you, the people who matter the most.”

---

Final Thoughts

This episode offers a deep dive into the complexities surrounding modern marriage, especially within the African American community. Delano Squires' perspectives provide valuable insights into how societal changes have impacted marital stability and what steps can be taken to reinforce the institution of marriage for future generations. Listeners are encouraged to consider the importance of rebranding marriage to align with contemporary values while preserving its foundational role in fostering strong, supportive families.

Transcript

[Ryan Seacrest]

It is Ryan Seacrest here. There was a recent social media trend which consisted of flying on a plane with no music, no movies, no entertainment. But a better trend would be going to chumbacasino.com it's like having a mini social casino in your pocket. Chumba casino has over 100 online casino style games, all absolutely free. It's the most fun you can have online and on a plane. So grab your free welcome bonus [e-mail] sponsored by Chumba Casino. No purchase necessary VGW Group Void where prohibited by law 21 + terms and conditions apply. Are you still quoting 30 year old movies? Have you said cool beans in the past 90 days? Do you think Discover isn't widely accepted? If this sounds like you, you're stuck in the past. Discover is accepted at 99% of places that take credit cards nationwide. And every time you make a purchase with your card, you automatically earn cash back. Welcome to the now it pays to Discover. Learn [e-mail] credit card based on the February 2024 Nielsen report. Ah, come on. Why is this taking so long?

[Delano Squires]

This thing is ancient.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Still using yesterday's tech upgrade to the ThinkPad X1 carbon ultralight. Ultra powerful and built for serious productivity. With Intel Core Ultra processors, blazing speed and AI powered performance. It keeps up with your business, not the other way around.

[Delano Squires]

Whoa.

[Ryan Seacrest]

This thing moves. Stop hitting snooze on new tech. Win the tech [e-mail] Lenovo Lenovo unlock AI experiences with the ThinkPad X100 powered by Intel Core Ultra processors so you can work, create and boost productivity all on one device. As America's most trusted movers, Mayflower has seen it all. From big dreams and new beginnings. All right, here we are.

[Carol Markowitz]

Oh, it's perfect.

[Ryan Seacrest]

To first steps and fixer uppers from starter homes. So guess what? We're having another. Another. We definitely need more space to more practical homes. Yes, Mayflower has been there for it. Will always have your back. Every moment, every move, every step of the way. Schedule your move now by going to mayflower.com every day, our world gets a little more connected, but a little further apart. But then there are moments that remind us to be more human.

[Delano Squires]

Thank you for calling Amica Insurance.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Hey, I was just in an accident. Don't worry, we'll get you taken care of. At Ameca, we understand that looking out for each other isn't new or groundbreaking. It's human. Amica empathy is our best policy.

[Carol Markowitz]

Hi, and welcome back to the Carol Markowitz show on iheartradio this week, some guy posted a before and after picture of himself after a serious regimen of working out. A different guy then posted a poll asking people if they thought he looked better before or after. Results were somewhat surprising. 43% of men thought he looked better after, while only 7% of women responders thought the same. Now that's not a perfect 100 because it wasn't 100% of women or men who responded. 24% of men thought he looked better before and 7% of women thought he looked better after. A third guy then posted saying, why do women lie about this? Like what is the actual reason? Of course the women weren't lying. In the first picture, the man is mostly fit already. He isn't cut, but he's not fat or anything like that. In the second picture, he's in tight little shorts and he's very cut up. I mean a 12 pack, not a six pack. The responses from women were that the second picture is nice, but it's a little much. Some women said he seemed more feminine in the second picture. Some women said his little shorts coded as gay to them. Other women said the second picture looked like a guy who would spend all his time talking about weightlifting and macros. I'm sure all of that is true, but the real thing is that we can't help what we find attractive, and it won't always be what people think. I talk on here a lot about what is wrong with online dating, the swiping culture, but I think one of the things is that people think they're supposed to swipe on the second guy in the picture and not the first. And while women know that they find the first picture more attractive, I think they're just more likely to pursue the second because he's what they're supposed to want. Of course, this is true for men, too. I know lots of men who have fallen in love in real life with women they wouldn't have swiped yes on on the apps. The what you're supposed to want is in effect when you're choosing from an online catalog in a way that it just isn't when you fall in love with your coworker or with your neighbor. If you're having trouble meeting someone, consider whether you're choosing someone that you think you're supposed to choose, or if you're choosing someone who actually attracts you. And yes, of course, get off the apps and try to do all that in real life. Thanks for listening. Coming up next, an interview with Delano Squires. Join us after the break Ryan Reynolds.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Here from Mint Mobile. I don't know if you knew this, but anyone can get the same Premium Wireless for $15 a month plan that I've been enjoying. It's not just for celebrities. So do like I did and have one of your assistant's assistants switch you to Mint Mobile today. I'm told it's super easy to [e-mail] Switch upfront payment of $45 for 3 month plan equivalent to $15 per month required intro rate first 3 months only, then full price plan options available, taxes and fees extra fee full [e-mail] Trust isn't just earned, it's demanded. Whether you're a startup founder navigating your first audit or a seasoned security professional scaling your GRC program, proving your commitment to security has never been more critical or more complex. That's where Vanta comes in. Businesses use Vanta to establish trust by automating compliance needs. Over 35 frameworks like SOC2 and ISO 27001, centralized security workflows, complete questionnaires up to five times faster, and proactively manage vendor risk. Vanta can help you start or scale your security program by connecting you with auditors and experts to conduct your audit and set up your security program quickly. Plus, with automation and AI throughout the platform, Vanta gives you time back so you can focus on building your company. Join over 9,000 global companies like Atlassian, Quora and Factory who use Vanta to manage risk and prove security in real time. For a limited time, our audience gets $1,000 off [e-mail] special. That's V A N T A dot com special for $1,000 off. Are you still quoting 30 year old movies? Have you said cool beans in the past? Do you think Discover isn't widely accepted? If this sounds like you, you're stuck in the past. Discover is accepted at 99% of places that take credit cards nationwide and every time you make a purchase with your card, you automatically earn cash back. Welcome to the now it pays to Discover. Learn [e-mail] credit card Based on the February 2024 Nielsen report as America's Most Trusted Movers, Mayflower has seen it all from big dreams and new beginnings. All right, here we are. Oh it' perfect to first steps and fixer uppers from starter homes.

[Delano Squires]

So guess what?

[Ryan Seacrest]

We're having another another. We definitely need more space to more practical homes. Yes, Mayflower has been there for it all and will always have your back. Every moment, every move, every step of the way Schedule your move now by going to mayflower.com not everyone who handles your personal information is going to be as careful as you are. And it only takes one mistake to expose it to hackers and identity theft. Maybe that's why there's a new victim of identity theft every five seconds in the United States. Fortunately, there's LifeLock. LifeLock monitors hundreds of millions of data points a second for threats to your identity if your identity is stolen. A LifeLock US based restoration specialist will help solve identity theft issues on your behalf, guaranteed or your money back. Plus, all Lifelock plans are backed by the million dollar protection package, meaning LifeLock will reimburse you up to the limits of your plan if you lose money due to identity theft. You can't control how diligent others are with your personal information, but with Lifelock, you can help protect it. Act now and save up to 40% your first year. Call 1-800-LIFELOCK and use promo code iheart or go to lifelock.com iheart for 40% off terms apply.

[Carol Markowitz]

Hi and welcome back to the Carol Markowitz show on iheartradio. My guest today is Delano Squires. Delano is a research fellow in life, religion and family at Heritage and a contributor at Ablaze. So nice to have you on Delano. How are you?

[Delano Squires]

I'm doing well, thank you for having me.

[Carol Markowitz]

So how did you get into this world? What does somebody need to do in order to end up a research fellow in life, religion and family?

[Delano Squires]

So my path is non conventional to say the least. Prior to coming to Heritage, I actually worked almost 15 years in local government in Washington D.C. so I was always, I did community work, mainly in low income neighborhoods. The last year was in the Office of Gun Violence Prevention. But I've been writing about issues related to marriage and family and culture for well over a decade. I first started writing for a site called Black and Married with Kids at a time where I was still single. I was only a single writer. And then I've written for the Root and the Griot, which are publications geared, you know, targeting an African American audience as well as for the Federalist. And now I have a weekly column that I write at the Blaze. So it's, it was a combination of that work and then, you know, some of my public commentary that put me on the radar for Heritage Foundation. And When I left D.C. government or when I was pushed out of D.C. government, I was able to make a smooth transition over here and continue to, to write about, you know, some of the issues that I think are the most important ones in our society.

[Carol Markowitz]

Why were you pushed out of D.C. government?

[Delano Squires]

Well, I say pushed out, tongue in cheek. It was, you know, sort of a. I got caught in a bureaucratic Bermuda Triangle. I was in detail to one agency, and then my home agency didn't have funding for my position, so they let me go, you know, a little bit earlier than I thought they would. But I'm thankful.

[Carol Markowitz]

Yeah.

[Delano Squires]

Because as someone who struggled to find a job coming out of college, and it took me about two and a half years to really get on a career track, I spent one day, less than one day unemployed between when I was let go at D.C. government and ended up coming over to Heritage.

[Carol Markowitz]

So amazing.

[Delano Squires]

I'm thankful.

[Carol Markowitz]

So how does a single guy get into writing about marriage?

[Delano Squires]

So I grew up in New York.

[Carol Markowitz]

Where in New York?

[Delano Squires]

In Queens. I grew up in Queens.

[Carol Markowitz]

What part of Queens? Okay. I'm from Brooklyn. My husband's from Queens. You know. Okay, I have to get the details.

[Delano Squires]

Yeah. So I grew up in New York and spent a ton of time in Brooklyn, mainly East Flatbush, you know, with my friends and, you know, where we went to church. And we would always talk about why our lives look so much different than some of the kids we went to school with. And we came to the conclusions, like, our parents are married, our family's intact, our dads are present, and not just each of us individually in our homes, but just the men we went to church with, the ones who poured into us, the ones who kept us out of trouble. So as I got older, even though I wasn't married, I wanted to write about the importance of marriage, particularly in the black community. Because even by that time, some of the statistics that people hear, you know, 70% out of wedlock, birth rate and things of that nature, were already a reality. So I wrote about it because I thought it was important, and not just from a policy perspective, but also from a cultural perspective. Right. The importance of marriage and family and fathers. And then from there, that just opened up other opportunities for me. So this has always been a passion of mine, and now I get to do research and write about these issues more generally speaking, because many of the issues that social scientists have talked about with the black family since the 1960s are prevalent among all American families today. So, yeah, so that's how I got started. And as I said, it's been a long and winding path, but I'm certainly glad to be where I am today.

[Carol Markowitz]

So how are your pieces received in, like, Root or the Griot at the.

[Delano Squires]

Time they were well received. Funny, the last piece I wrote for the root was 2016, and it was. I was somewhat critical of how the Republican Party did outreach to black voters. There was a black. She went by GOP black chick, a woman named Crystal Wright, who was really big on the scene prior to sort of Candace Owens ascension on the right. And she went on Fox and friends on February 1. This was 2016, so first day of Black History Month.

[Carol Markowitz]

Yeah. Okay.

[Delano Squires]

And she said. She said that black voters are political dummies who are basically slaves on the Democrat plantation. That it was that type of talk. And I said, this is not. You don't win voters over by insulting their intelligence. So things like that.

[Carol Markowitz]

You're the worst vote for us.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Right?

[Delano Squires]

Exactly. Exactly.

[Carol Markowitz]

Yeah.

[Delano Squires]

So I think those pieces were well received. I wrote one for Father's Day one year about the lessons I learned from my dad. I think those things were well received. But I'll say this. I saw both the Root and the Grill drift to the left over the years. And I think part of that may be new management, just a different cultural landscape. To the point where I wrote a piece, for instance, called Arguing that We Need a Black Wives Matter Movement that was published in Newsweek. But I pitched that to both the Root and the Griot prior, and neither of them even responded to the pitch from Heritage. So it's one of those things where certain issues I don't think those sites are interested in covering. So I don't think I'd be able to write on some of the same things today. And part of that is just a shift in the cultural landscape.

[Carol Markowitz]

What do you think people misunderstand about the marriage problem, you know, in the black community, but also in other communities now as well.

[Delano Squires]

I think the first thing people misunderstand is that this is mainly a matter of economics. Like, oh, people nowadays don't have enough money to get married. I don't think that's it at all.

[Carol Markowitz]

You don't think that's it? Yeah, I was gonna challenge that. I was gonna say. I don't know. I hear that point of view a lot, but I don't think it's an economics issue either. Go ahead. Yeah, sorry.

[Delano Squires]

Now, obviously, I believe, particularly when it comes to men, a man has to have a steady job somewhere to lay his head, and hopefully a stable mode of transportation. If you're in New York, you can get away from.

[Carol Markowitz]

Yeah, you don't need that.

[Delano Squires]

You have some money on your Metro card that you can get around the city.

[Carol Markowitz]

Yeah.

[Delano Squires]

But what you see, you know, I recently wrote an op ed on the 60th anniversary of the Moynihan Report, you know, which touched on issues of the black family. So at the point where Daniel Patrick Moynihan felt, okay, the state of the black family is such that I should write about this. Right. The out of wedlock birth rate for black women was about 25%. So that meant three in four black children were still born to married parents. That was at a time where the black poverty rate was about 40%. And what you've seen is that the poverty rate has basically been cut in half, but the out of wedlock birth rate has almost tripled.

[Carol Markowitz]

Right.

[Delano Squires]

So. And the graph looks the same for all Americans. Right. So people have more. Have more material resources, more material wealth than they did in the 1960s. But out of wedlock births nationally, the non marital birth rate nationally is about 40%. So I don't think it's an issue primarily of resources, which is one of the reasons why you see couples often today who have the baby first and then decide whether they want to get married later.

[Carol Markowitz]

Right.

[Delano Squires]

I think the biggest issue is that marriage is no longer seen as valuable, desirable, accessible, or indispensable when it comes to forming a family. And it was seen that way in previous generations, which is why people got married earlier and why they tended to stay married longer. Obviously, you know, with the issues of divorce, there have been many people, obviously, who've gotten divorced, particularly after no fault divorce became a thing. But I also know several people, myself included, who can say, yeah, my parents have been married, you know, 35, 40, 45, 50 years. My concern is that my generation may be the last one to be able to say that if we continue on the trajectory we're on.

[Carol Markowitz]

So what happened? What made marriage undesirable? Was there like a moment or was it just a slide?

[Delano Squires]

So I go back to the 1960s, and I know it's always hard to talk about a period of time where you weren't around because you can get certain things from statistics, but you have to be in a place to really get mood right.

[Carol Markowitz]

I could blame the hippies, though. I wasn't there, but I could tell.

[Delano Squires]

So what I would say is this, and I see this again. First, I think the black family was the canary in the coal mine in the 1960s. You have two movements rising at the same time. You have the rise of the welfare state. So big government liberalism, where the spending, particularly for low income moms with children, explodes. Between 1965 and 1985, people talk about the man in the house rule that said that a woman on welfare could not receive it if there was a man in the house or there was an incentive for men not to be in the home. So you have big government liberalism rising. That's policy. At the same time you have second wave feminism rising. Now, I'd argue big government displaces men. And I would say that second wave feminism deceived women. This was the deception that femininity is weak, masculinity is toxic, marriage is oppressive, the home is a prison and children are a burden.

[Carol Markowitz]

Yeah.

[Delano Squires]

So what you get when you marry, those two things, no pun intended, is you get, in some respects, a parallel family structure where husband is displaced and Uncle Sam in the form of the federal government assumes the role of husband and father to millions of poor women and their children. And this doesn't mean that every single mom is on welfare. I'm not making that argument. I'm saying what we created was a new family structure that made it possible for a man to abandon his financial responsibilities to his family and for a woman to feel as if she was liberated, quote, unquote, from the grip of the patriarchy while signing herself up to be married to the government. And once you put that in motion as a cultural norm. Right. And you see it replicated, and you are in communities where there are no men in the home raising kids with their wives, now what you get is a new norm that can replicate itself without sort of a continued external push. And I think that parallel family structure is what you've seen sort of spread throughout the culture, generally speaking. So now, again, even if you are upwardly mobile, six figure woman, Right. You don't. But you still have come around in a culture that says a man in the home as my husband is not necessary, I can do it by myself. If you're on the higher sort of economic rung. And then if you're on the lower one, you can say, I can do it with myself with help from the government. So that's what I would say has been the dominant culture for the better part of about 60 years, that men are no longer necessary. Men in marriage are no longer necessary when it comes to forming a family.

[Carol Markowitz]

So what's interesting about that though, right? You talk about your parents being married for 40 plus years. I grew up in Flatbush, not far away from where you were talking about it, East Flatbush. It was always a point of pride when your parents were married, and it was a point of pride for the kids and it was a point of Pride for the parents. How come? Even though that's like, something that people have so much, you know, just take so much pride in, why hasn't that kind of spread to the culture? Why don't we think of that as something to aspire to, despite the fact that the people who are in it are so happy to be in it?

[Delano Squires]

I think one reason is because over the course of decades, no one wants to feel as if they're stigmatizing someone else. And one of the things, and I say this sometimes to people on the right, there's no way to create and uphold an ideal without policing either the behavior or the people that transgress that ideal on the back end. Right.

[Carol Markowitz]

Like, you can't say, this is bad. You know, single mom is a bad thing to do, but because, you know, it offends a lot of people. But.

[Delano Squires]

Correct.

[Carol Markowitz]

But you're also. You want to get to the place where people do it less. So it's a tough dance, right?

[Delano Squires]

So you have to choose one. You either have to accept new norms and say, well, these are equally good, or you can say, this is the ideal, and even gently sort of police it on the. On the back end. I think people don't mind policing. The police function. Right. In terms of social stigma, when it is pointed at men who fail to fulfill their responsibilities. Right.

[Carol Markowitz]

It's easier.

[Delano Squires]

It's much easier. You can say, oh, this guy's a deadbeat dad. But the moment, culturally speaking, we feel as if we are criticizing in any way, shape or form what women do in terms of relationships. Single motherhood, particularly if it's single motherhood by choice, then people, I think, get a lot less comfortable, and they say, oh, we don't want to stigmatize. We don't want people to feel bad. We don't want those children to feel stigmatized.

[Carol Markowitz]

Right.

[Delano Squires]

And I get that you don't.

[Carol Markowitz]

You don't want them to be stigmatized. Right. You might have them in your family or among your friends. You don't want them to feel bad, but you also don't want to see it replicate itself.

[Delano Squires]

Correct.

[Carol Markowitz]

Along the larger culture.

[Delano Squires]

Correct? Correct. Now, I give this example because I think there are ways to handle this in the culture. And the best example is in schools, right? You go to any school, particularly in a big school district, New York, Philadelphia, D.C. and you're going to see college pushed from the time kids enter kindergarten. You'll see the little banners of Duke and Harvard and Yale and Stanford, and you will hear administrators saying, we believe every child should go to college. And they say that even though many of the children in these schools have parents who did not go to college, but nobody feels as if we're saying, oh, you're a bad person if you don't go to college. Because we recognize that generally speaking, parents want better for their kids than what they've, you know, had for themselves. And people believe that college net net is a positive good and an ideal that children should strive for. And my argument is that we can do something similar with the ideal of putting marriage before carriage. Now, if some people say, I don't want to get married at all, I don't want kids, that's fine, that's their preference. But when it comes to forming a family, particularly where children are involved, I believe that we should prioritize the needs and rights of children over the desires of adults. And the right that I'm talking about is every child's right to the affection, protection, correction and direction of the man and woman who created them. And that I believe that right is best exercised in a loving and low conflict home with a married mom and dad. So I think there's ways to talk about it, but I think oftentimes the.

[Carol Markowitz]

College example is a very good one.

[Delano Squires]

Right. And we see it. And the thing is, I would argue that the difference between, let's say getting a college degree and not getting one, particularly if you're in the trades, is vastly. It's a smaller sort of marginal difference than getting married before you have kids or and sort of choosing, let's say as a man, let's say I choose to have five kids by four women, none of whom I live with. That's a very big difference. Right? Five by one is different than five by five, if I can put it that way.

[Carol Markowitz]

Yes. My nine year old says he wants 18 kids and I say as long as you're all having them all with the same woman, I don't care. Do whatever you want as long as there's only one baby mama Thanksgiving, you know.

[Delano Squires]

There we go.

[Carol Markowitz]

We're gonna take a quick break and be right back on the Carol Markowitz Show.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Ryan Reynolds here from Mint Mobile with a message for everyone paying Big Wireless way too much. Please, for the love of everything good in this world, stop with Mint. You can get premium wireless for just $15 a month. Of course, if you enjoy overpaying, no judgments. But that's weird. Okay, one judgment anyway. Give it a [e-mail] Switch upfront payment of $45 for 3 month plan equivalent to $15 per month required intro rate first 3 months only, then full price plan options available, taxes and fees extra. See full terms@mint mobile.com Are you still quoting 30 year old movies? Have you said cool beans in the past 90 days? Do you think Discover isn't widely accepted? If this sounds like you, you're stuck in the past. Discover is accepted at 99% of places that take credit cards nationwide, and every time you make a purchase with your card, you automatically earn cash back. Welcome to the now it pays to Discover. Learn [e-mail] credit card based on the February 2024 Nielsen report if you've got a move coming up, you really need to look into United Vanlines, the Do It All Moving specialists. With United Van Lines, you don't worry about a thing. You have a dedicated moving coordinator, qualified drivers, and full value protection for your possessions. Compare that to a couple of dudes manhandling your family, airlines or cramming your things in a container on your driveway. Rather than hope for the best, you deserve a hassle. Free move. Visit unitedvanlines.com Big moves, small moves all moves Easy Choice Every day our world gets a little more connected, but a little further apart. But then there are moments that remind us to be more human.

[Delano Squires]

Thank you for calling Amica Insurance.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Hey, I was just in an accident. Don't worry, we'll get you taken care of. At Ameca, we understand that looking out for each other isn't new or groundbreaking. It's human. Amica Empathy is our best policy avoiding your unfinished home projects because you're not sure where to start. Thumbtack knows homes, so you don't have to don't know the difference between matte paint, finish or satin or what that clunking sound from your dryer is. With Thumbtack, you don't have to be a home pro, you just have to hire one. You can hire top rated pros, see price estimates and read reviews all in the app download today.

[Carol Markowitz]

So what do you worry about?

[Delano Squires]

That's a good question. I'm not particularly prone to worry, but I am concerned about the state of the American family. And the reason why is because I believe that many of the issues that vex policymakers, whether in the schoolhouse, the courthouse or the jailhouse, all start in the home. So I'm concerned that we are making it more difficult and we've lost our way in terms of the natural order of things, right? You and I, we grew up going to school. You hear this on the schoolyard, right? Chris and Christina sitting in a tree k I S S I N G First comes love.

[Carol Markowitz]

Yeah. Then comes marriage to bring that song back.

[Delano Squires]

Right. Then comes baby in the baby carriage. I'm concerned because the new script is not working. And that new script is Chris and Christina staring at their screens. T E X T I N G oh, yeah. First comes sex, then comes baby Then comes marriage. But that's a big maybe pretty good.

[Carol Markowitz]

It's a good rhyme.

[Delano Squires]

So I'm worried that that's becoming more and more normal. And I'm concerned because I don't think as a society we've really thought long term about what that means. Not just on a family basis, not just on a community basis, not just on a city level, but on a national level and really a civilizational level.

[Carol Markowitz]

What advice would you give a 16 year old, Delano?

[Delano Squires]

Mmm. Listen to your parents. Their wisdom is underrated. And just because you know a few things doesn't mean you know everything. And you know, the people that God has given you and put around you, the adults that have wisdom and life experiences tell you the things that they tell you because they love you, not because they want to keep you from having fun.

[Carol Markowitz]

They're not trying to get in your way.

[Delano Squires]

Right.

[Carol Markowitz]

Do you get back to Queens a lot?

[Delano Squires]

Every once in a while, actually going up soon for, you know, a family function. So I try to see my parents as much as I can and they come down to the D.C. area and spend time and actually, you know, we were talking about family. One of the things that people don't realize, let's say I get married at 37, I have my first kid at 40, and I have a son, he does the same thing. Married at 37, first kid at 40.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Yeah.

[Delano Squires]

I become a first time granddad at 80 years old.

[Carol Markowitz]

Right. It's tough. It's tough.

[Delano Squires]

So the ways in which we've delayed marriage and having family even have an effect on potential grandparents. Because mom and dad, they want some, they want some grandbabies. So as soon as you get married, they start to look and they say, look, you know, hey. So yes, I try to see him as often as possible.

[Carol Markowitz]

How do you stress that to your, you know, to the next generation? How do you say to them, do this sooner than I did it?

[Delano Squires]

It's hard.

[Carol Markowitz]

I had, you know, but I also, if I had, if I had gotten married earlier than I did, I would have married the wrong person. You know, it's a tough, it's a tough. I got married at 31, I had my kids in my 30s. I'm fine with My kids doing that, obviously, if they meet the right person earlier, I hope they don't wait. But if they don't, you know, what are we gonna do?

[Delano Squires]

Yeah, it's hard. I'm similar. I got married at 30. My wife was 29. But now, looking back on it, I'm one of the younger people. I know.

[Carol Markowitz]

Right. Yeah. Now we're the babies.

[Delano Squires]

Right?

[Ryan Seacrest]

Right.

[Carol Markowitz]

Babies having babies. Yeah.

[Delano Squires]

I honestly think that marriage as an institution needs a rebrand. And I think part of that rebrand is not just talking about the sequence. So as much as I love the success sequence, is also about talking about the timing and letting young people know you don't have to put off this major decision until you have every single thing in your life exactly where you want it. So letting them know that it's possible to do it earlier than most people think, like, my parents got married, I think at 24 and 21, something like that, which was normal back then, that was actually right on target. And right now, the median age of first marriage is 31 and 29. And there's no reason to expect, just given our current cultural trends, that it won't in another 20 years be up to, I don't know, 37 to 35 or close to 40.

[Carol Markowitz]

If at all. Right.

[Delano Squires]

If at all. Right. So I think there are ways to do it. Some schools, there's some colleges where that ring by script, ring by spring or Mrs. Degree culture is still there, but I think it's something that needs to be discussed and sort of just raising awareness and to say, hey, this is the most important decision you're going to make with your life, and marriage and family are going to give you a level of personal fulfillment that you can't get anywhere else.

[Carol Markowitz]

I really think you're the guy to do the rebrand, honestly. I think you're really onto a lot of things here. And I've had, you know, I've obviously had the conversation about marriage in a lot of different ways. I just think you bring up some really interesting arguments, and I appreciate that. I nominate you to do the marriage rebrand across the country. Let's go.

[Delano Squires]

I appreciate that.

[Carol Markowitz]

So end us here with your best tip for my listeners on how they can improve their lives.

[Delano Squires]

That's a good one. I would say this. I would say to invest your energy and your resources and the people who are closest to you, the people who matter the most, I'd say divest from political obsession and invest in family and friends, because people who have strong faith commitments, who have a strong sort of family ties and who have personally fulfilling friendships and relationships. In my experience. And I think the data bear this out, those are the people that tend to be most content and happy with their lives. So for me, you know, my wife and I, we're part of a really great local church where we do life together with other couples. Yeah, my best friends growing up, you know, we played on the same church team in Brooklyn. We're still best friends to this day. We talk every day on WhatsApp. And you know, my family and other, you know, church family are people who I lean on, you know, when times get difficult. So I would say to buck the cultural trend of seeing partisan politics as the end all, be all and get back to doing life with real life people.

[Carol Markowitz]

I love that he is Delano Squires. Thank you so much for coming on, Delano. It's been an amazing conversation. Thank you.

[Delano Squires]

Thank you. I appreciate you having me on.

[Carol Markowitz]

Thanks so much for joining us on the Carol Markowitz Show. Subscribe wherever you get your podcasts.

[Ryan Seacrest]

As America's most trusted movers. Mayflower has seen it all from big dreams and new beginnings. All right, here we are.

[Carol Markowitz]

Oh, it's perfect.

[Ryan Seacrest]

To first steps and fixer uppers from starter homes.

[Delano Squires]

So guess what?

[Ryan Seacrest]

We're having another. Another. We definitely need more space to more practical homes. Yes, Mayflower has been there for it all and will always have your back. Every moment, every move move, every step of the way. Schedule your move now by going to mayflower.com not everyone who handles your personal information is going to be as careful as you are. And it only takes one mistake to expose it to hackers and identity theft. Maybe that's why there's a new victim of identity theft every five seconds in the United States. Fortunately, there's LifeLock. LifeLock monitors hundreds of millions of data points a second for threats to your identity. If your identity is stolen, a LifeLock US based restoration specialist will help solve identity theft issues on your behalf, guaranteed or your money back. Plus, all LifeLock plans are backed by the million dollar protection package, meaning Lifelock will reimburse you up to the limits of your plan. If you lose money due to identity theft, you can't control how diligent others are with your personal information. But with Lifelock, you can help protect it. Act now and save up to 40% your first year. Call 1-800-LIFELock and use promo code IHEARTRADING or go to lifelock.com iheart for 40% off terms. Apply. Busy work weeks and weekends can leave you feeling drained. Prolon's five day nutrition program works at the cellular level to rejuvenate you with boxes labeled by day so you know exactly what to eat. Developed at USC's Longevity Institute, this science backed program makes your cells believe they are fasting to support fat loss, skin appearance and healthy blood sugar levels. Feel the difference and get real results in just five days. Get 15% off today plus a $40 bonus gift when you subscribe to their five day program at prolonlife.com iheart that's prolonlife.com iheart asking the right questions can greatly impact your future, especially when it comes to your finances. So if you're looking for a financial advisor you can trust, certified financial planner professionals are committed to acting in your best interest. That's why it's gotta be a CFP. Find your CFP professional at letsmakeaplan.org find home wherever you roam at Sinesta Es and Simply Suites. Stretch out and enjoy homelike amenities for however long you need. And when you're a Sonesta Travel Pass member, staying at Sinesta Es and Simply Suites means earning points toward free nights, upgrades and more. Go go to sinesta.com and book your stay and unlock their best rates with Sonesta Travel Pass Here today, Rome tomorrow. Join [e-mail] terms and conditions apply.