
Loading summary
Rebecca Heinrichs
This is an iHeart podcast.
Buck Sexton
Hey, what's up?
Mario Lopez
It's Mario Lopez. Back to school is an exciting time, but it can also be overwhelming and kids may feel isolated, a vulnerability that human traffickers can exploit. Human trafficking doesn't always look like what you expect. Everyday moments can become opportunities for someone with bad intentions. Whether you're a parent, teacher, coach or neighbor, check in, ask questions, stay connected. Blue Campaign is a national awareness initiative that provides resources to help recognize suspected instances of human trafficking. Learn the signs and how to report@dhs.gov blue campaign. This October, you can earn up to 2% back when you deposit $1,000 or more on Kraken, the crypto platform. With over 400 assets to buy and trade, the bonus is uncapped, so so if you deposit $50,000, you could earn up to $1,000 back. Download the Kraken app in the App Store or Google Play and deposit by October 31st. Not investment advice. Crypto trading involves risk of loss and is offered to US customers through PayWord Interactive, Inc. Terms apply. Hey, Ryan Reynolds here from Mint Mobile. Now I don't know if you've heard, but Mint's premium wireless is $15 a month. But I'd like to offer one other perk. We have no stores. That means no small talk. Crazy weather we're having. No, it's not. It's just weather. It is an introvert's dream. Give it a try@mintmobile.com switch upfront.
Commercial Announcer
Came in a $45 for a 3 month plan, $15 per month equivalent required.
Rebecca Heinrichs
New customer offer first 3 months only.
Commercial Announcer
Then full price plan options available, taxes and fees extra.
Rebecca Heinrichs
See mintmobile.com Sunday Scaries are officially canceled. Abercrombie's new Sunday sets collection is taking their place.
Commercial Announcer
Made from their iconic soft AF fabric, these matching sets will give you that cozy Sunday feeling every day of the week. But we can't forget the OG the.
Rebecca Heinrichs
A and F Essentials collection. Specifically their viral Essential popover hoodie that just came out in tons of new colors and prints.
Commercial Announcer
Permission to start living in sweats?
Rebecca Heinrichs
Shop Abercrombie in the app, online and in stores.
Commercial Announcer
Saks Off 5th is your secret to fashion's most wanted deals at up to 70% off on the hunt for designer steals that'll turn heads and leave a trail. Trail of envy Uncover Gucci, Valentino, Versace, Stuart Weitzman and more. With new arrivals dropping weekly at prices too good to stay confidential Luxe Layers Statement Boots and tailored essentials from Saks off 5th will put your Wardrobe on the most wanted list. Head to saksofffit.com or Saks Off 5th store near you for a style lineup you won't want to miss.
Carol Markowitz
Hi and welcome back to the Carol Markowitz show on iheartradio. I'm doing another one of these advice segments. You all seem to enjoy them, so please send in your questions carolmakowitzhowmail.com or you can use the anonymous form I post on X. I'm joined here by Buck Sexton, co host of the Clay Travis and Buck Sexton Show. Hi, Buck. So great to have you back.
Commercial Announcer
Hello.
Buck Sexton
Great to be back.
Carol Markowitz
So some of our questions are very calm and staid and other questions get a little racier. So this is going to be one of those. And I should also note I've gotten a lot of questions, but I, you know, some, I only think some of them are worth engaging in. That's why this is not a regular segment. Every week I only get so many questions that I think are worth answering and this is one of those. So here we go. Hello, Carol, new listener. I like your matter of fact way of answering questions. My husband and I have a good relationship. I knew he watched porn occasionally, but I never mind it and it never affected our life. And in the last year our state has made it so you have to upload your ID to access porn sites. When that happened, he got so worked up about this. His behavior became erratic and moody and that made me concerned. He was addicted and I had not known that. He figured out some work around and our life went back to normal. But I can't forget how crazed he got about it and I don't know what to do. What do you think, Buck? Oh boy. Yeah, she was fine with it. And then they took it away from him and he got crazy.
Buck Sexton
So I, I've got a, let me, let me try to work through this because this isn't one, sometimes people ask me a question and I feel like I've answered it in different forms about 300 times over the 15 years I've been doing media. Yeah, this is a first. So I need to kind of, this is a first time. So I'm going to just say that up front. I haven't addressed this before. I, I feel like our generation, meaning of, of men, we're the first generation now, guys in their 40s, maybe into their 50s a little bit, who had this thing of giant world of, of free and instantaneous pornography available to us all with an Internet connection.
Carol Markowitz
Yeah.
Buck Sexton
And that, remember before it was always like you had to get this magazine. You kind of knew that it was like a little, there was something a little, you know, maybe you found like the construction workers, Playboy magazine somewhere and, and you like, hopeful that your mom never found out. You know, you're like, your mom always.
Carol Markowitz
Found out, you always found out.
Buck Sexton
That's always, you know, and then there was this little coming of age moment where you're like, you know, I'm, I'm 18 and like, if I want to look at this magazine anyway. But that was also very tame stuff too. And that was always. There's always kind of a limit, you know, at least play.
Carol Markowitz
Right.
Buck Sexton
And that's always a, there's always a limitation on that. I am opposed to not just pornography on sort of moral and ethical terms, but I actually think it's really bad for men, it's bad for women because it's degrading and because of the, this is a quote industry that I think is destroying people's lives and in many ways really darkening their souls. So I'm pretty. I don't know, I mean, I don't like puritanical, almost sounds like self refuting, but I'm generally very opposed to porn across the board. And I would even say for men, I think it's really damaging because you're training, training your mind to think about these things in certain ways and you're disassociating actual human contact and connection from the sex act. And I think it's bad for guys from a motivational perspective. I think actually the desire to couple with somebody, partner with somebody and to like find somebody IRL in real life. Right. Is hugely motivating for men in the best way, like civilization building. Like I need to be.
Carol Markowitz
That's right.
Buck Sexton
Worth a woman's time for her to make the very profound decision to have a sexual relationship with me. And I think that that's. And I think that's not only is it a beautiful thing when it's obviously done right and it's like the way our species, you know, exists.
Carol Markowitz
Right.
Buck Sexton
But also I think it's really important for the male psyche to keep it in that context of this is special, this is meaningful. And it's something earned too, as a guy. So it's almost like in that this.
Carol Markowitz
Is all very, very nice. I love that you think like this.
Buck Sexton
Well, this is in the. And I'll tell you, I mean, I made a conscious decision in my 20s. I will tell you, when I was at Amherst, there was porn everywhere on our computer servers.
Carol Markowitz
Right.
Buck Sexton
I mean, like on the school server. Yeah, because they weren't, you know, people would put drives, this is like the Napster era. And like I would walk into friends rooms and they were like, look at this. And there was like, I mean there was just like people. It was like a free for all of, you know, lots of, you know, these poor.
Mario Lopez
And when.
Buck Sexton
This is when porn stars kind of became famous and this was just sort of stuff everywhere. And, and Even in my 20s it was just like I was like why would you do something that like would you be embarrassed for someone to know about but you still think it's okay? Like there's nothing else in a man's CIA thinking there? No, but it's true. Why would you be doing something that would embarrass you? And I want to be clear. I also like, I feel badly for a lot of men because on the, again, putting aside like the exploitation of women thing, which I'm going to get to this person's question here in a second. But putting aside the exploitation of women, which is a given and I think is a really horrible part of pornography, but just on the, on the. More on the male side of it because by the way it's, we saw this with like the Ashley Madison hack and everything. It's like 90% of porn, 95% of porn watching or what. It's male, right? This is male, totally male dominated thing in terms of the viewership. And, and I just think that it's been, it was so normalized for our generation in so many ways for a lot of men that you had to really spend time thinking about this on your own to I think realize like what, like what are you doing and why are you, you know, why do you think that this has been, why do you want this to be kind of a part of, for a lot of men day to day.
Carol Markowitz
Right.
Buck Sexton
Like I think about comedians used to stand up comedy there they would say like oh, you know, I've, I've. I don't know, I'm like whatever, whatever. You know what I mean? There's a lot of ways to say it but you know, yeah, doing the things that guys.
Carol Markowitz
Doing the things.
Buck Sexton
Yeah, doing the thing, you know, like three times a day. Hahaha. Like I do it every day and I'm looking for all this stuff and it's like that's weird actually.
Carol Markowitz
That is weird.
Buck Sexton
Like you're developing a problem and you're playing with the neurons in your brain in a really, and really training them in a way that I think is damaging so back to the initial question about this that it bothers. I think what she's might be confusing might be conflating. Confusing is the wrong word. Conflating is a suppressed sense of shame with an addiction. Now I'm not saying he's not addicted to it. I don't know. I don't know this man. I don't know. I don't know. But I think that part of what may be so off putting to her in this is that he was outraged at this. But I think that that may be more driven by. It's not, oh, I won't be able to get through my day without porn. It's how dare they take away my first amendment right to like be able to as an adult to watch content.
Carol Markowitz
Yes. This as much porn as I want. Yeah.
Buck Sexton
You know what I mean? Like it turns into this self justifying thing because I think that there's, you know, some, some shame attached to it maybe at least subconsciously.
Carol Markowitz
Right.
Buck Sexton
And I think that that may be a more workable thing for her to, to deal with. But I also think that it's completely fair for her to. The gentle approach here is so important. And this is something that in marriages, you know, I, I've been reading a lot of mar. I've only been married a few years. You're like an old pro at this. But I've only been married.
Carol Markowitz
I am an old pro at this. Yeah. 16 years.
Buck Sexton
Reading, reading books on marriage. Like the good books, like Dr. Gottman I think is really.
Carol Markowitz
I haven't read any books on marriage. I feel like maybe I should just to answer these questions, I don't know.
Buck Sexton
We just kind of important stuff, really such important stuff that the difference between success and failure. And this is by like the data that's compiled. The difference in success and failure in so many difficult marital conversations is not the subject matter and not even necessarily the overall tone of the conversation. It's how the woman approaches the man about the conversation. A wife who approaches the man.
Carol Markowitz
Is it always in that direction? It's always the woman approaching the man specifically. Interesting.
Buck Sexton
Yeah. Because men tend to react like men have very much almost like a fight or flight response to a subject or the way that it's being presented. And if you get a guy's hackles up, the chance that you're going to be able to have a productive conversation after that is very, very low as a woman, even if it would otherwise be reasonable. Whereas if you have a soft approach on it, and that means things like, you know, you know, you're like. In this context, it'd be like, you know, you're such a great husband. Assuming that she would want to say these kind of things.
Commercial Announcer
I don't know.
Carol Markowitz
Right.
Buck Sexton
Like, you're a great husband. You're a great father. But, you know, I just, you know, I want us to talk about our intimacy level and. And I want to understand, you know, is there. Is there a part of this where, you know, we need to make more of an effort day to day to be affectionate physically with each other? Because I don't want you to feel. I don't want you to feel like you need this other outlet in addition to whatever I'm giving you as the wife. But that may just. That may go well. Hey, why do you have a porn addiction? Guaranteed going. Guaranteed that's going to blow up in her face. That's what I'm.
Carol Markowitz
But I just want to say she seems to have no problem with how much he watches porn. She doesn't think it's too much. She thinks it was fine.
Buck Sexton
I think she's wrong.
Carol Markowitz
But then her issue became when it was taken away from him and he got crazy.
Buck Sexton
Well, she thinks he has an addiction.
Carol Markowitz
That made her think, maybe I haven't realized what was going on.
Buck Sexton
Right. I get that.
Carol Markowitz
I don't know. I know I agree with you. You know, I agree with you on a lot. I probably. I don't want to say I'm more pro porn than you because I'm not pro porn at all. But I'm less anti porn than you. I'm less anti porn than you. I'm not as like, you know, this is the. Just horrible. Horrible. It is horrible, but not. Not quite where you are on it. I'm not sure that her issue is, I guess, how much he's watching it or the intimacy that they have or don't have. It's that she saw him react very poorly to having it taken away, and that has made her concerned for him. From a woman's perspective, that would be how I would start the conversation. Yeah.
Buck Sexton
You're stopping at. Well, why is she concerned? She's concerned because she thinks he's an addict.
Carol Markowitz
Right?
Buck Sexton
Right. So she thinks she has a compulsion for this now, whereas a compulsion versus something that he's choosing to do makes her worry because it's obviously a deeper role in his life than she had previously anticipated. That's where the. And. And maybe is making decisions. This is why dealing with addiction is very. And look, there's a whole. We can do a whole thing Sometime about how you find out that somebody that you're even like you know, involved with in a dating relationship is an alcoholic. And when you find that out because you think that oh, this person isn't drinking like scotch at 8 o' clock in the morning, that doesn't mean they're not an alcoholic.
Carol Markowitz
Right, right.
Buck Sexton
You know what I mean? Like, like you people have ways of normalizing addiction for those around because they can become.
Carol Markowitz
Addiction is a very, very easily. What? That he had it normalized? Yeah.
Buck Sexton
Very scary little monster that doesn't want to want people to realize his addiction. And so I think she has realized like this is what I'm saying, she has realized that oh my gosh, he might actually have an addiction to this. And that then makes the context of what a role it's playing in his day to day life and psychology more troubling for her. But what I'm saying is again I'm not a psychotherapist or whatever. So don't you know, I'm just a guy.
Carol Markowitz
No. A guy who understands people.
Buck Sexton
Yeah, I'm just a trained spy who understands like psychological manipulation tactics and propaganda and everything else. So my book Manufacturing Delusion coming out in January goes into all this stuff.
Carol Markowitz
Amazing.
Buck Sexton
The book's going to be, going to be phenomenal. I would tell, I would tell her to pick your. The biggest mistake men would make. And this is by the data. This isn't just me saying this. This is Dr. Gottman, all of his books. Seven Principles for Successful Marriage. These books are amazing. I've read them more than once. I highly recommend anybody. The biggest mistake that women make in handling conflict within a marriage. Meaning I should say, sorry. The most common and consistent mistake, not the biggest but most common and consistent is picking the wrong time in the wrong way to talk about a tough subject with a man. Because men are actually far more willing to engage than a lot of the women realize. But they have to feel respected and invited into the difficult conversation. And so I think if she approaches this the right way, then says, hey, like this made me feel, you know, I want to just. But it can't be accusatory, it has to be how do I meet you in this? In a way where one, I can understand a little more what your needs are and two, you can understand why this made me a little bit uncomfortable. And I just want us to have an open line of communication about it because I think this is a fix. I think that's a fixable thing. I don't think it's an unfixable thing. I think that porn is, by the way, it's not like a. This. This I would give her. We've gone way over, but I don't care. This is so fun.
Rebecca Heinrichs
Yeah.
Carol Markowitz
The.
Buck Sexton
The. It's not a substance addiction reason those are so difficult is then the monster actually, like, the little monster. The little demon can actually take over.
Carol Markowitz
That's right.
Buck Sexton
Where the person is not actually exercising free will anymore because their chemistry is. I need to think. I need to. I'll say anything.
Carol Markowitz
I need the thing.
Buck Sexton
Right. He may have a. A compulsion, conditioned predilection to this, but he can still be reasoned with on it, can still scale it back. And because the process, like, the brain is still able to process, like, I really shouldn't be watching porn every day. And, like, maybe I should scale this back. And maybe I could talk to my wife a little bit about this and maybe I could start to think, like, do I really need porn in my life in this way? By the way, it's a whole thing, too. We didn't even get into this, like, separately from, like, my wife and I, and this is not my thing. But some people are, like. They like to. You know what I mean? They like to get things flowing and going.
Carol Markowitz
Get things going.
Commercial Announcer
Sure.
Carol Markowitz
Right. That's not what seems to be going on here.
Rebecca Heinrichs
That's not what's going on.
Carol Markowitz
Yes.
Buck Sexton
So that's my whole thing, is that. What. What are we thinking? We like this.
Carol Markowitz
Carol, so far, I think you did great. I think the approach matters a lot. And I'm very interested in the idea that you get more out of your relationship by approaching things in the right way at the right time. I loved your answer, Buck. And I think we have two for two where we agree. Recently, I enjoyed this.
Buck Sexton
Can I put out a special call? Because if you're going to have me do this again. Although I feel like I've hijacked this second segment because I get so excited talking about this. So hopefully. Hopefully you'll have me back.
Carol Markowitz
Of course.
Buck Sexton
See if they'll do. I want. I want to. I want Buck specific advice. Questions.
Carol Markowitz
Buck, specific advice. I love that. I'm going to. I'm going to put out.
Buck Sexton
Tell your audience you got the question for Buck, and I'll come back on and we'll do the question for Buck on the Carol show. And you get to moderate slash, tell me when I'm wrong. It'll be fun.
Carol Markowitz
I love it. Thank you, Buck, for coming on the Carol Markowitz Show. Stay tuned for my interview with Rebecca Heinrichs. Coming up next. But first, history shows that every market eventually falls, every currency collapses. And today the US Dollar is hanging by a thread. Trillions in national debt record high markets defying gravity. But stocks can't go up forever. Meanwhile, your groceries, housing and transportation costs are all going up. And your dollar, it's buying less every single day. Look, if the system breaks, your stocks and dollars won't save you. But one thing will.
Rebecca Heinrichs
Gold.
Carol Markowitz
Gold has always survived a collapse. That's why banks and billionaires are stocking up and Americans are protecting their savings with physical gold before the next shoe drops. Call lear Capital at 800-786-850. Free gold investment kit and $20,000 in bonus gold With a qualified purchase, Lear is your leading source. Over $3 billion in transactions. Thousands of reviews. Call now. 8007-8685-0080-0786-8500. Keep in mind that any investment has a certain amount of risk associated with it and you should only invest if you can afford to bear the risk of loss. Before making investment decisions, you should carefully consider and review all risks involved. Rebecca Heinrichs joins me next. Did you hear? Some of the best Performing assets of 2025 aren't stocks, they're precious metals. This year, gold and silver have risen a staggering 29% and some experts believe the gold and silver bull market has just begun. Central banks are buying gold to protect against the falling dollar and silver. Some experts believe it's powering the future and that with skyrocketing demand for solar, EVs and AI, silver is the new oil. So how high could gold and silver soar? Find out. Call Lear Capital, the precious Metals Leader at 800-786-8500. Get your free wealth protection kit and see how gold and silver could help your retirement dreams come true. You can even own metals in your Iraq. With over $3 billion in transactions and thousands of five star reviews, Lear is your leading source. Call now and also get up to $15,000 in bonus gold with qualified purchase. Call 800-786-8500. That's 800-786-8500. Keep in mind that any investment has a certain amount of risk associated with it and you should only invest if you can afford to bear the risk of loss. Before making investment decisions, you should carefully consider and review all risks involved.
Commercial Announcer
Life's messy. We're talking spills, stains, pets and kids. But with Annabe, you never have to stress about messes again. At washablesofas.com, discover Annabe sofas the only fully machine washable sofas inside and out. Starting at just $699. Made with liquid and stain resistant fabrics, that means fewer stains and more peace of mind. Designed for real life, Our sofas feature changeable fabric covers allowing you to refresh your style anytime. Need flexibility? Our modular design lets you rearrange your sofa effortlessly. Perfect for cozy apartments or spacious homes. Plus, they're earth friendly and built to last. That's why over 200,000 happy customers have made the switch. Upgrade your space today. Visit washablesofas.com now and bring home a sofa made for life. That's washablesofas.com offers are subject to change and certain restrictions may apply.
Buck Sexton
Hey, what's up?
Mario Lopez
It's Mario Lopez. Back to school is an exciting time, but it can also be overwhelming and kids may feel isolated, a vulnerability that human traffickers can exploit. Human trafficking doesn't always look like what you expect. Everyday moments can become opportunities for someone with bad intentions. Whether you're a parent, teacher, coach or neighbor. Check in, ask questions, stay connected. Blue Campaign is a national awareness initiative that provides resources to help recognize suspected instances of human trafficking. Learn the signs and how to report@dhs.gov.
Rebecca Heinrichs
Blue Campaign Sunday Scaries are officially cancelled. Abercrombie's new Sunday Sets collection is taking their place.
Commercial Announcer
Made from their iconic Soft AF fabric, these matching sets will give you that cozy Sunday feeling every day of the week. But we can't forget the OG the.
Rebecca Heinrichs
A and F Essentials collection. Specifically their viral Essential Popover hoodie that just came out in tons of new colors and prints.
Commercial Announcer
Permission to start living in sweatshirt shop.
Rebecca Heinrichs
Abercrombie in the app, online and in stores.
Commercial Announcer
When you wanna grow your list size.
Rebecca Heinrichs
Pop up like it's hot Pop up like a tide Pop up like it's.
Mario Lopez
Hot and when you gotta boost your.
Commercial Announcer
Revenue Pop up like it's hot Pop up like it's hot Pop up like it's hot. Pick your favorite template you can tailor to your brand. Their male chimp a riffic. You're going to be a fan. Mailchimp your marketing with our new customizable pop ups.
Carol Markowitz
Welcome back to the Carol Markowitz show on iheartradio. My guest today is Rebecca Heinrichs. She is a senior fellow at the Hudson Institute. Hi Rebecca. So nice to have you on.
Rebecca Heinrichs
Good to be here. Thanks for having me.
Carol Markowitz
So I have to tell you, we've only met, I believe, one time, right? In D.C. and you are. You're just this light. You really are. You're very, very smart, but you're very personable, which a very rare combination in Washington D.C. and it really, it, it comes off you. So I'm really glad to have you on.
Rebecca Heinrichs
I appreciate that. That's very different from when I used to work on Capitol Hill and I was like very, there's no light there. No. And I was so serious about my work. And one time one of my coworkers said that, he said, I, you know, I've thought about hugging you before, but I think that you'd spikes if I'd hug you. Cause I was so serious about. So being. Going from growing spikes to being a light is a great improvement. I'm so glad. That's excellent.
Carol Markowitz
How did you get your start in this world? I mean in the political world, not in this world in general?
Rebecca Heinrichs
Yeah. So I think sort of the formative experience for me, for a lot of people my age in early 40s is September 11th. I was a freshman in college when 911 happened and Al Qaeda attacked the United States. And I was in at the time I was from a small town in Ohio and I was going to this, the Ashbrook Scholar program at Ashland University. It's kind of like Hillsdale. So for just for a frame of reference, great books program really focused on the west, how awesome it is, the American founding. So I'm loving it. And then 911 happened and that was really formative for me. And that's when I decided I wanted to do national security policy. And then lots of details from there on. But that's really kind of the short of it.
Carol Markowitz
What kind of stuff do you work on at Hudson?
Rebecca Heinrichs
Yeah, so my focus is on how to prevent major power war. So when after 911 happened, I, you know, just like a lot of people, I thought that I would go into global war on terrorism. I studied Arabic for a little stint at the Ohio State University. And it basically pretty quickly came to the conclusion, oh my goodness, like we're all focused on low intensity conflict and terrorism, but we could have another major war.
Carol Markowitz
Right.
Rebecca Heinrichs
You know, and so I switched and started really studying and getting interested in the Cold War and how to deter major power wars. So what I do at Hudson now is, was really, is really that. So I focus on nuclear deterrence and how to build alliances and deter axes basically so that we, we've got all kinds of other problems in the world, but if we can really hold off like the really bad ones, that would be great. And that's what I focus on at Hudson.
Carol Markowitz
Do you feel like, optimistic about holding off the really bad ones. Do you think we're in a good place in terms of not getting into, you know, serious hot wars?
Rebecca Heinrichs
So the thing I would say, I. It's. I'm always optimistic since I'm from the Midwest, and I always really do think that we're always just, you know, a political moment or a great argument that catches on away from fixing things. I really believe that. And we've. We've already seen how much things have changed from the Biden years to the second Trump administrations. But. But I think currently where we are now, I'm afraid, I think that the big sort of assumption that leads us to not prepare for deterring major power war is that trade can supplant military hard power and, you know, harder diplomacy, economic pain, et cetera, that you can impose on people to try to steer them in a better direction. And I really think just sort of this idea that if we just have more trade, that. That the ideological differences, for instance, with China or the Russians won't go away. And I thought that the first Trump administration clearly understood that. And I'm a little bit. I think it's a little bit less clear for the second Trump administration about how it's treating the China problem. And I'm mostly worried about. About the axis led by China.
Carol Markowitz
What would you have done if you weren't doing this? What would have been the plan B?
Rebecca Heinrichs
It's a great. You know, I think that. So I have five children, so I'm.
Carol Markowitz
You have five children? Adam, here. Wow.
Rebecca Heinrichs
I have. So I think that, to answer that question, I think, you know, my five children, I've really. My husband and I. My husband's awesome. We've married 17 years. We've really prioritized my flexibility to be. To be the primary formative person around them. And so there's a lot of things, actually, that I haven't done sort of in this field that I think that I would have really enjoyed and been good at, you know, working, working more in government jobs that required, you know, living abroad and doing diplomacy. I would love that. And maybe that's in the future as the kids get older, etc. But how old are your kids? Oldest is. So I have three girls and two boys. My oldest is 16 and my youngest is almost seven. So there's nine years between the oldest and youngest.
Carol Markowitz
Wow, that's great. I have 15, 12 and almost 10. Yeah. I think that as they get older, the possibilities of what you could do professionally really expand. I. I would say that probably My regret is not being maybe a stay at home mom for longer. I was in the beginning for my daughter, but maybe that's a path that, you know, that, that you can't go back to. So the fact that you had this time with your kids that you, you chose the flexible time, think probably the right call, you can't go back to that.
Rebecca Heinrichs
Yeah, I think so. I, I was, I. We had my first, we had our first child, my daughter. And I thought, I'll have her. I'll kind of have like a nanny at home and I'll go back. And we tried that for like a month.
Carol Markowitz
Yeah.
Rebecca Heinrichs
And then I was like, oh my, what am I doing? She's just this. Of like for everything I love, I mean, I love foreign policy and I love national security policy because I love this country and I, I want to leave it for my kids. So I, you know, I love my kids. It's all really for them. And so my husband looked at me one time, we were driving into work together and he was like, you should just stay home. Like, we'll figure it out.
Carol Markowitz
Love that.
Rebecca Heinrichs
And yeah, so it. And my kids are, I mean, you know, like, as they turn into teenagers, then you're like, not only are they awesome, like, they're interesting and funny and smart and you're like, I made this.
Carol Markowitz
This is, I did this.
Rebecca Heinrichs
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Carol Markowitz
So I guess that, that leads me pretty easily into one of my three questions, which is, what are you most proud of in your life?
Rebecca Heinrichs
Yeah. I would say just our home, our kids. We have just, you know, even not just a kid because, you know, as a mom. Yeah. They come from you and you pour into them and do your best to help shape them, but then they're also formed by other things and themselves and the way they are. But I think like, of what I think that I can point to and say, yeah, I really did do. That was just the home that we created. It's just, it's not a, it's not a stressful place to be or an anxious place to be. It's an enriching place to be. And you can see it sort of borne out in, in our kids. And that's. Yeah. So we're not that we've done everything perfectly, but I would say looking back.
Carol Markowitz
Nobody does everything perfectly, but, you know. Yeah. So how do you set up that home that way? What is the, like, what advice would you give to others who are maybe just starting to parent?
Rebecca Heinrichs
Yeah. So I would say consistency and like not, not allowing your own concerns and Stress and anxiety be to be borne by your children, where you're like, okay, well, everybody would love that. Easier said than done. But I think. Right. But I think being really intentional about that. So we are very low tech in our home. Our kids don't have iPads. They don't have smartphones. Even our teenagers don't have smartphones. And I think that was really something. It's not like I had this sort of developed thinking about it. I think it was just during. You know, it's just they were. They're so good at play, and we read and talk so much here that we just. My husband and I, like, it was during COVID when everybody really started doing. And I was like, yeah, we're not. We're not gonna do that. Impressive.
Carol Markowitz
I mean, we're pretty low tech, but everybody still has a device. Like, it's amazing to actually keep them off the devices completely.
Rebecca Heinrichs
And I think it's harder once they have it to go back and so just not doing it. And we're part of a community of other families who are doing the same thing, which makes it easier. But that's a big one. And then, like, if my. When my husband and I have arguments or disagreements to really not. You're still gonna live life in front of your kids, but to understand that, you know, like, you and your husband have to, like, deal with that and not allow your children to feel that. And then the other big practical thing I would say is, like, when my husband and I have, like, resolved an argument or disagreement, we do bring the kids in and, like, let them see us hug and reconcile. That has just been like. I think that just gives kids so much stability. It just.
Carol Markowitz
That arguing is normal and making up should be the result. And it's not always agree. I feel like that's a big one that should possibly be spread to other kids right now. It's okay to not agree with other people. Don't do anything about that.
Rebecca Heinrichs
Yeah. And then the other. And with that too, like, apologizing to our kids. So just, like, they know it's like, I'm not over here walking around like, I've done everything right. If I've done something that I was too short with you or something, I'm going to apologize to you and ask for your forgiveness. We just make that a regular part of our home life. And. And I think that there's. That's so good too, because, like, otherwise there's bitterness and you start thinking your parents are hypocrites. And, you know, so we've I don't.
Carol Markowitz
Apologize that often, but yes, right.
Rebecca Heinrichs
I, I do think it's so good though for kids to see their parents model that.
Carol Markowitz
Yeah.
Rebecca Heinrichs
Especially in our like public discourse now. A big problem is everybody is just so right, just adamant in everything they think and it leaves just no room for some humility in disagreement or public discourse, you know.
Carol Markowitz
Yeah, absolutely. We're going to take a quick break and be right back on the Carol Markowitz Show. Can you believe since 1913 the dollar has lost 96% of its purchasing power and it's still losing down 10.8% this year. So ask yourself, what are you doing to protect your wealth? Today, many people are turning to gold and silver for protection. This year alone, gold and silver have risen an impressive 29% and since 1913, they've risen more than 6,000%. Can gold and silver help protect your hard earned savings? Call lear Capital at 800-786-8500 and request your free Wealth Protection kit. Discover how gold and silver could help your retirement dreams come true. You can even own them in your IRA. With over 3 billion in transactions and thousands of 5 star reviews, Lear is your leading source. Call 800-786-8500 and with a qualified purchase, get up to to $15,000 in bonus gold or silver. Call 8007-8685-0080-0786-8500. Keep in mind that any investment has a certain amount of risk associated with it and you should only invest if you can afford to bear the risk of loss. Before making investment decisions, you should carefully consider and review all risks involved.
Commercial Announcer
There's nothing like sinking into luxury. At washablesofas.com, you'll find the Annabe sofa which combines ultimate comfort and design at an affordable price. And get this, it's the only sofa that's fully machine washable from top to bottom. Starting at only $699. The stain resistant performance fabric slipcovers and cloud like frame duvet can go straight into your wash. Perfect for anyone with kids, pets or anyone who loves an easy to clean spotless sofa. With a modular design and changeable slipcovers, you can customize your sofa to fit any space and style. Whether you need a single chair, loveseat or a luxuriously large sectional, Annabe has you covered. Visit washablesofas.com to upgrade your home. Right now you can shop up to 60% off store wide with a 30 day money back guarantee. Shop now@washablesofas.com Add a little to your life. Offers are subject to change and certain restrictions may apply.
Buck Sexton
Hey, what's up?
Mario Lopez
It's Mario Lopez. Back to school is an exciting time, but it can also be overwhelming and kids may feel isolated, a vulnerability that human traffickers can exploit. Human trafficking doesn't always look like what you expect. Everyday moments can become opportunities for someone with bad intentions. Whether you're a parent, teacher, coach or neighbor, check in, ask questions, stay connected. Blue Campaign is a national awareness initiative that provides resources to help recognize suspected instances of human trafficking. Learn the signs and how to report@dhs.gov blue campaign. I'm NFL linebacker TJ Watt and this.
Buck Sexton
Is my personal best. YPB by Abercrombie is the activewear I'm always wearing. That's why I reached out to co design their latest drop. I worked with designers to create high performance activewear that holds up to my toughest workouts. Shop YPB by Abercrombie in store, online and in the app.
Mario Lopez
Because your personal best is greater than anything.
Commercial Announcer
When you wanna grow your list size.
Rebecca Heinrichs
Pop up like it's hot Pop up like it's hot Pop up like it's.
Mario Lopez
Hot and when you gotta boost your.
Commercial Announcer
Revenue Pop up like a tide Pop.
Rebecca Heinrichs
Up like a tide Pop up like a tide.
Commercial Announcer
Pick your favorite template you can tailor to your brand. They're mailchimp a riffic. You're gonna be a fan mailchimp your marketing with our new customizable pop ups.
Carol Markowitz
So you spend a lot of time at your job kind of looking at the future and thinking about where things are going to go and hopefully guiding them towards a more positive future. Can you give us a five years out prediction? And it could be about the country, about the world, really anything.
Rebecca Heinrichs
So I think I'll take the question and look at it from the nation and then sort of the world. I think that we are, I think that the country needs to do some correcting from the excesses of the left. The treating these far left wing groups that are really anarchist and Marxist, some of them funded by foreign adversaries. Yeah, we really haven't dealt with that and we saw a lot of these riots, you know, during COVID and the BLM riots. And I think the Trump administration has to, is. Is sort of in the beginning of dealing with that, especially in the wake of the assassination of Charlie Kirk. I don't know what that means or what that's going to look like, but we have to get to a common sort of consensus about what we are as a people regardless of our differences sort of on other kinds of things. And I think that there's still just people who are living among us who really have an incompatible view of.
Buck Sexton
What.
Rebecca Heinrichs
We'Re doing here and what America is. And so I think it's going to be bumpy. I think we're going to face some pretty serious turbulence domestically for a couple of years at least. And then in foreign policy, my hope is that the United States is able to get back to a place where we are working constructively with our allies. And it's been bumpy there, too, during the Trump administration with these tariffs. But I think collectively with our economies and our militaries, we need to be able to deter, again, this developing axis that I see with the Chinese, the Russians, North Koreans and the Iranians. And I worry that. I just worry that. That there's these groups sort of, of Americans who just. They're so. So overtaken with the problems here at home that they don't want, you know, for the US to engage in foreign policy. But my hope is we get that. We do get that sorted out because we. We need, you know, we gotta do it.
Carol Markowitz
Foreign policy happens whether we engage in or it or not. And so it's probably best to have a direction and to head towards that direction instead of just floating along and letting whatever happened to us, which is, you know, I think, a scary outcome of not talking about foreign policy. And I know exactly what you mean. I think that there's a lot of pressure, you know, to be like, America first, for example, on the right. Well, if you're America first, you have to think about America's standing in the world. And, you know, the show is generally not political, but I think your perspective is very interesting, and I think what you do is very interesting.
Rebecca Heinrichs
Yeah, well. And I also just think that, you know, I spend a lot of time. Just the other thing I was gonna say for your showtoast thinking another great thing that I do that I think makes my work better, too, is we host a lot just being hospitable and just not even. It has to be like, I grew up, it was like, if we were gonna host, you know, my mom spent like two days cleaning and doing a deep clean and. But I just mean, like, don't even do that. Like, basically just get very used to having people in your home to say, stop over. If you all went to a kid's game, come to our house for pizza and soda afterwards and talk to people and like, really just enjoy them, be amused by them, enjoy them, and don't try to sort of make everything about sort of which camp everybody is in, sort of politically. And that has helped me so much. And even just understanding what everyday Americans are thinking about and just what makes people tick.
Carol Markowitz
It's not hard for you doing what you do and having that be public.
Rebecca Heinrichs
So that is a good. Sometimes. So, you know, sometimes. And I try to keep. I try to keep. The reason that you didn't even know that I had five kids is because I don't talk a lot about my personal life in public for my were in part because it's just so scary out there. And I. I want to keep, you know, a lot of, you know, I want my children to have a safe and secure and private life. But. But. But I do. But. And then some. The other part that's kind of hard about it is sometimes I do get these. I'll get briefings about what's going on in the world. I'm like, oh, my goodness, it's like a miracle. I mean, I don't even know how.
Carol Markowitz
Right.
Rebecca Heinrichs
I don't know how people don't believe in God if they knew how bad things were and how it's not even as bad as it could be. It's amazing. It's, like, miraculous. So it can be hard sometimes. I've had times where I've had a really serious threat briefing and my husband's picked me up, and I'm like, I just need a few hours to just kind of decompress and compartmentalize, to kind of get back, you know? And like I said, a lot of people, a lot of my friendships, people don't want to talk about foreign policy. People don't want to talk.
Carol Markowitz
Yeah, but just having a political job, it doesn't affect your friendships. It doesn't. You don't have the people who are like, I can't be friends with you because you're.
Rebecca Heinrichs
Oh, you know, so. That's a good question. I had a little bit of that. I had a little bit of that during COVID Like, during. When everybody was online, same girl, same. That I think was like, wow. I had people who were really upset with me for things that I was posting online. I don't know. I don't think. I'm sure it does. There's things I don't know. There's probably relationships I could have that would be stronger or better, but that are sort of inhibited because people see. But. But then I have lots of other friends, some very public friends who we disagree on all kinds of things and we still, you know, get along great. So, yeah, I mean, I would think, yes, it does affect. I'm sure, I'm sure that my relationships have been affected, but it's also been really, really good. I mean, it's funny. I'll get like a text message from somebody who is like, oh, my goodness, my mom from Illinois just told me to turn on Fox because she saw you on Fox.
Carol Markowitz
And it's like, I love that.
Rebecca Heinrichs
Yeah. And it's somebody I don't normally agree with on politics or something too. So it's a mixed bag.
Carol Markowitz
Love that. I've loved this conversation. I've loved getting to know you a little bit more. Got some news flash that you have five kids. Leave us here with your best tip for my listeners on how they can improve their lives.
Rebecca Heinrichs
So I think I would just get back to just open your home. Like, really just open your home and don't worry so much about, you know, putting on a show for hosting. I mean, really, truly say yes to those invitations when people ask you to come over, even if it's not somebody that you think that you like a whole lot. I'm not naturally actually extroverted. Like, I'm not shy, but I think my natural inclination would be to just, I love to read, to sit on the couch with my husband at night and read. But I have just, my whole life has just been so enriched when I just sort of made the intentional sort of mental switch over to say yes to getting together more with people and opening my home to others. And of course, I think the corollary to that is, you know, the more you can get off technology and have more of your inner, you know, your relationships in person than online is the way to go.
Carol Markowitz
I love that a lot of people write into the show and ask how they can make friends. I think opening your home is a really underrated one. Invite people over, host them, take up people on their invitations. That's how you do it. Thank you so much, Rebecca. She is Rebecca Heinrichs. Check her out at the Hudson Institute. She also has a really excellent X page. Check out her profile on X. Rebecca Heinrich, thank you so much for coming on.
Rebecca Heinrichs
Thanks you. It was really fun.
Buck Sexton
Hey, what's up?
Mario Lopez
It's Mario Lopez. Back to school is an exciting time, but it can also be overwhelming and kids may feel isolated, a vulnerability that human traffickers can exploit. Human trafficking doesn't always look like what you expect. Everyday moments can become opportunities for someone with bad intentions. Whether you're a parent, teacher, coach, or neighbor, check in, ask questions Stay Connected Blue Campaign is a national awareness initiative that provides resources to help recognize suspected instances of human trafficking. Learn the signs and how to report@dhs.gov blue campaign. This October, you can earn up to 2% back when you deposit a thousand dollars or more on Kraken, the crypto platform with over 400 assets to buy and trade. The bonus is uncapped, so if you deposit $50,000, you could earn up to $1,000 back. Download the Kraken app in the App Store or Google Play and deposit by October 31st. Not investment advice Crypto trading involves risk of loss and is offered to US customers through PayWord Interactive, Inc. Terms apply.
Buck Sexton
This podcast is brought to you by FedEx the new power Move hey, you know those people in your office who are always pulling old school corporate power moves? Like the guy who weaponizes eye contact. He's confident, he's engaged. He's often creepy. It's an old school power move, but this alpha dog laser gaze won't keep your supply chain moving across borders. The real power move? Having a smart platform that keeps up with the changing trade landscape. That's why smart businesses partner with FedEx and use the power of digital intelligence to navigate around supply chain issues before they happen. Set your sights on something that will actually improve your business. FedEx the new power move saks off.
Commercial Announcer
Fifth is your secret to fashion's most wanted deals at up to 70% off on the hunt for designer steals that'll turn heads and leave a trail of envy. Uncover Gucci, Valentino, Versace, Stuart Weitzman and more. With new arrivals dropping weekly at prices too good to stay confidential, Luxe layers, statement boots and tailored essentials From Saks Off 5th will put your wardrobe on the most wanted list. Head to saksoffvith.com or Saks off 5th store near you for a style lineup you won't want to miss.
Mario Lopez
Mint is still $15 a month for.
Buck Sexton
Premium wireless, and if you haven't made.
Mario Lopez
The switch yet, here are 15 reasons why you should 1.
Rebecca Heinrichs
It's $15 a month.
Carol Markowitz
2.
Mario Lopez
Seriously, it's $15 a month and 3 no big contracts.
Rebecca Heinrichs
4.
Mario Lopez
I use it. 5. My mom uses it.
Carol Markowitz
Are you.
Mario Lopez
Are you playing me off? That's what's happening, right? Okay, give it a try@mintmobile.com Switch upfront.
Commercial Announcer
Payment of $45 for three month plan $15 per month equivalent required. New customer offer first three months only.
Rebecca Heinrichs
Then full price plan options available, taxes and fees extra. See mintmobile.com this is an iHeart podcast.
Podcast: The Clay Travis and Buck Sexton Show
Host: iHeartPodcasts
Episode Air Date: October 24, 2025
This episode of The Karol Markowicz Show dives into two big topics: first, a frank advice segment featuring Buck Sexton, co-host of The Clay Travis and Buck Sexton Show, on the implications of pornography in marriage and the challenges of modern masculinity; second, an insightful interview with Rebeccah Heinrichs, senior fellow at the Hudson Institute and mother of five, exploring her national security work, parenting philosophies, and advice for raising strong, resilient families.
Both conversations balance humor and candor while touching on cultural pressures, marriage dynamics, technology's impact on kids, and the importance of hospitality in building community.
Timestamps: [02:47 – 17:30]
1. Listener Question: Husband’s Reaction to Porn Restrictions
2. The Unprecedented Age of Ubiquitous Porn
3. Buck’s Stance on Pornography
4. Addiction vs. Compulsion vs. Shame
5. Communication in Marriage & the Soft Approach
6. Carol’s Perspective
7. Recognizing Compulsions & Fixable Patterns
8. Final Advice
Timestamps: [23:34 – 46:33]
1. Rebeccah’s Background and Path to Policy
2. Work at the Hudson Institute
3. Family Life and Parenting Choices
4. Creating a Healthy Home Environment
5. Societal and Foreign Policy Predictions (Five-Year Outlook)
6. The Power of Hospitality
This episode offers a nuanced exploration of personal relationships in the modern era—both the pitfalls (like porn addiction in marriage) and the solutions (openness, communication, hospitality). Buck Sexton's segment zeroes in on modern masculinity and transparency in marriage, while Rebeccah Heinrichs provides a model for intentional parenting and community-building in anxious times.
Practical takeaways:
For listeners: If you want concrete advice on relationships or deeper perspectives on raising strong families in modern America, this episode is a must-listen.