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Garrett Exner
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Carol Markowitz
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Garrett Exner
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Carol Markowitz
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But that's weird.
Carol Markowitz
Okay, one judgment anyway. Give it a try@mintmobile.com Switch upfront payment of $45 for three month plan equivalent to $15 per month required intro rate first three months only, then full price plan options available, taxes and fees extra. See full terms@mintmobile.com. Hi, and welcome back to the Carol Markovitz show on iheartradio. My is Garrett Exner, a former Marine Corps Special Operations Officer and a fellow at the Hudson Institute and Executive Director of the Public Interest Fellowship. Hi Garrett. So nice to have you on.
Garrett Exner
Thanks so much for having me on.
Carol Markowitz
So I've known you for a bit and I feel like when I came across something maybe you tweeted that I thought was funny or interesting, and I was like, I don't know enough about Garrett. So here we are, where I'm going to find out everything about you. Start at the beginning. First.
Garrett Exner
You were born, yeah, you know, kid from Connecticut right outside New York. Fairfield County, Connecticut. Born and raised there and then decided to move across the country to go to college down in Texas. Went to college down in San Antonio. My sister was in the World Trade center on 911 and got out alive, but it was a period of time where I didn't, didn't know that she had made it out alive. And that kind of the trajectory of my life. So led me to commit at that time to join the military. Didn't know where I was going to go, but just said I have to do something in the wake of 9 11. Ended up joining the Marine Corps and spent about 14 years in the Marine Corps, most of that in special operations, and then came to DC at the request of my, my lovely wife who wanted to work and she is very lovely. I think she's the best. She is awesome.
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Carol Markowitz
Yeah.
Garrett Exner
And, yeah, and it has been a kind of whirlwind tour of D.C. you know, spent some time in the Pentagon, spent some time working for Ted Cruz and then, you know, got a little jaded on politics at the beginning of the Biden admin and said I need to get out of here. And some friends of mine said, you know, there's this opportunity at a nonprofit helping young people get their careers started in D.C. and that's what I've been doing. Yeah.
Carol Markowitz
Yeah. That's really awesome. It's funny, the jaded part, you know, I, the Biden administration's maybe the first time I've ever been jaded. I think I'm just a very optimistic, happy, go, lucky person. And those four years were, they were tough. Like, way tougher than even I would say, even though Obama years. How do you come back from that?
Garrett Exner
It was, it was so rough. I mean this. You were a leader on this fight. But the school closures here in Fairfax county, it was insane. It was in 2022, in February of 2022, our kids were not back in school. And I don't even. This is two years past Covid. Our kids back in school, you know, they were masking all day, and I was. I was going nuts. And then it just seemed, you know, being in the minority on the Hill is not fun. No, it's not pummeled every day. And I just said, I. You know, this is. People. Are. Anyone listening Is like, he gave up the fight. But it was like, I just. I can't work on this. I can't work on it.
Carol Markowitz
No. It also. I mean, you're very young, but it is a very young person's game, the Hill game. And it takes a lot out of you. It's not something you do once you get more settled in your career.
Garrett Exner
And with kids, it's just very difficult. You want to spend your time. The majority of my time I want to spend here with my kids. I have a finite amount of time before they off to college, and I want to set a good example for them and be there for them through everything they're doing. And it just becomes very difficult working in government jobs to do that.
Carol Markowitz
What would you be doing if it wasn't this? Would you have a different path? What would be the plan be?
Garrett Exner
Yeah, it's a funny story, because when we first came to D.C. michelle was adamant that she wanted to come here. She wanted to work in politics. Not for me. I would be, without a doubt, writing novels, living in the woods, like chopping wood all day.
Carol Markowitz
I love it. I could actually see it.
Garrett Exner
I want to be in West Virginia, away from everybody, living in the woods. And Michelle, she's from Hoboken. She's a city girl. She wants the city. She loves the fight. She loves fighting in politics. And we got an offer to go to Special Operations Command, Africa, in Germany. And she was like, no, I want to go to D.C. and I told the monitors, you know, the person who picks your job, he was like, you're getting a great opportunity. You get to go to Germany for three years. You don't want to take it? I said, no. He said, can I send you to Hawaii to Special Operations Command, Pacific? Michelle's going to love this. Let me go back. And she was like, garrett, I'm going to D.C. wow. Coming or I'm going.
Carol Markowitz
Chose D.C. over Hawaii. I'm pretty sure I've never heard that before.
Garrett Exner
It was Insane. And when I went to the monitor again, I'm like, she doesn't want to go. He's like, what is you're going to take a job in the Pentagon instead of going to Hawaii? It's crazy. All for her because she's the best.
Carol Markowitz
Yeah. How did you guys meet?
Garrett Exner
We met in Djibouti, Africa. She was working for a Navy SEAL admiral out there. And I got attached to a small SEAL task force back then in this was 2010, who they were going after a guy named Anwar Alaki. And there's a small bar on the base that's out there where you're allowed to have two beers a day. You get a little punch card and you like. And I saw her and just knew I needed to talk to her.
Carol Markowitz
Wow.
Garrett Exner
Barn. And that was it. We started, you know, going out to restaurants and in Djibouti at the time and fell in love and came back and have been together ever since.
Carol Markowitz
What a cool story. I've always thought you were a very cool couple with this, this background really, really gives a lot to the story. And how long has that been now?
Garrett Exner
2000, so 16 years since we, since we met. We got married two years, three years after that and two kids and just living, living the life.
Carol Markowitz
So if you're in the woods and you're chopping your wood and you're writing your novels, if you got that picture, what are your novels about?
Garrett Exner
A few different things. But I think I'm going to come back to this at the end when you're talking about like five year predictions. But I think there is a desire in America right now for more family friendly content.
Carol Markowitz
Oh yeah.
Garrett Exner
So you know, I think stories that teach kids about government but through the eyes of like adventure in a way. So if you could imagine like you know, a Harry Potter series, but it is someone like under learning about different government types, different historical events through that way. My kids love some of these like I survived novels.
Carol Markowitz
Oh yeah, totally.
Garrett Exner
Or there's there's like graphic novels on, on history. So. But there's room for kind of a more adult version of that that is like for the teenage years that people can kind of gravitate, gravitate into. And I think there's some of that. There's also I love writing about history anyway, so might as well do it in consumable way.
Carol Markowitz
I think you're so right that we're missing the teenage demographic. Like I think, you know, I have a son who's very, very into history and he's 13 now. I think he had a ton of content at like 8, 9, 10. And then even in the last, like, year or two. I mean, he's sort of reading grown up books at this point, but they are a bit over his head. I think that middle ground is. I, you know what? I'm gonna call Michelle and be like, I think you guys gotta go to the woods and chop some wood and let Garrett write some books here.
Garrett Exner
He wants to write a book about parenting together, you know, on like, how to raise them. Right, right.
Carol Markowitz
Yeah.
Garrett Exner
How to raise kids to. To love God and love their country. In a place in a society that often tells them that neither is cool.
Carol Markowitz
Right.
Garrett Exner
So, you know, she. She would probably want to do that. My son and I just, you know, something for, for your son. He just got into the. Louis Lamour, who's like a old western writer. He's. He's dead now, but he actually got the medal, freedom from Reagan for his writing. But his books are like old westerns.
Carol Markowitz
Check it out.
Garrett Exner
Is the one I would start with. It is an amazing, like, what is that called? Hondo is Lou's most famous, most famous book. I would say it's a short read. And like, he's got 120 Western novels. They're incredible. They're so pro American and young men, they're very. It's like, it's like pro masculine content.
Carol Markowitz
I love that.
Garrett Exner
Gentlemanly. And it's good. There's nothing bad in there. It probably wouldn't pass muster in kind of the, you know, of course, today there's a lot of, like, cowboys and Indians fighting. But it's exciting novels. It's good stuff. I love that.
Carol Markowitz
I'm going to order it right after the show.
Garrett Exner
Yeah, it's so good.
Carol Markowitz
That's awesome. So what would be the top tip for how to raise good families?
Garrett Exner
I think for Michelle and I, our big thing is building in resilience and confidence. And it's tough to do. I think for the average kid living in suburban America, their life is pretty easy. To teach them resilience, you really need to go out and you need to set the example as a parent and you need to kind of put them in situations where they're going to be challenged and you need to be okay with them being challenged. That's not just like free range parenting. It's actually like, for us, we do it a lot in sports. So my daughter is a big swimmer and my son player.
Carol Markowitz
And how old are they?
Garrett Exner
10 and 12.
Carol Markowitz
Okay.
Garrett Exner
And we, we try to just show them that there's no way around hard work. You're just gonna have to put in the time and the effort. And, like, there's times when this is really gonna suck.
Carol Markowitz
Yeah.
Garrett Exner
We're open to them backing out and picking a different sport if they want to. Our requirement is you're gonna play two sports, so figure out which ones that. And you're gonna have to play. And ideally, they're gonna. They're gonna. We're gonna demand that they play at a. At a high level and they both achieve. That way we're supportive. They're definitely not, like, pressured into anything that they, you know, wouldn't choose on their own. I do find that they tend to gravitate towards whatever, like, mom and dad want to do.
Carol Markowitz
Sure. Right. Convenient.
Garrett Exner
Yeah. And. And we also, just for a tip for parents, everyone I know, their kids play baseball. Baseball games go on for so long. With hockey, lacrosse is this way the same thing. Physical sports and the games are only 50 minutes. So you know when your game is starting and you know when it's ending. Especially with hockey for Iceland, you're getting out of there at a specific time. So, like, it actually works out much better. Baseball, it felt like we're going to try to get in one more inning.
Carol Markowitz
You're like, right, no, please don't. Right. Youth baseball. I actually love baseball on the professional level. And youth baseball is painful. Like, the kids are, like, looking at their shoes. I mean, they're just, you know, I don't know.
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Carol Markowitz
It's not my. My favorite to watch the kids play, but it's interesting. You have the. This, the set time thing. That's the sport you should gravitate towards.
Garrett Exner
Yeah. And that's. I mean, for the swim meets, it's like that for our daughter, too. We show up, we know exactly when her event is going. We show up, you know, she warms up, she swims her event, and then we're. We're out of there generally to go on to the next thing. So it's not taking up a whole weekend for us. And that's the complaint I get from a lot of parents about all sports, is that it takes up all their time. We haven't really found that to be the case. We kind of are able to navigate in and out of it and still keep them at a high level.
Carol Markowitz
I'd also say parents who had it take up their whole weekends and don't have that anymore are very sad about it. It's hard in the moment. You can't go do certain things. You want to go do because you have youth sports. But it's magical and beautiful. Beautiful. And it only lasts a little while and when it's over, it's over. So enjoy it while it does last.
Garrett Exner
It breaks my heart to think about, well, we've put them into other things, you know, golf and, and skiing, so that there's things that they will do with sports that we will continue to do past when they're playing, like competitively. And that at least that's my hope. You know, I think there's still a long ways to go on both those sports. On skiing in golf, they're definitely not there yet. But I hope that like one day, you know, after five or six years of practice, they'll be able to just go on a trip with us and do this.
Carol Markowitz
Yeah, love that. We're going to take a quick break and be right back on the Carol Markowitz Show.
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Garrett Exner
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Carol Markowitz
Garrett, what are you most proud of in your life?
Garrett Exner
I really think it's, it's kind of. This is going to sound cliche, but it's really the family that we, that Michelle and I have built here, you know, it is this nuclear family is. I think everyone in it really understands that this is the most important thing to our faith, that my job, that my kids know that my job does not come before them, that nothing comes before them. But they also know humble enough to not be spoiled about it. You know, they don't demand the time, they're just very grateful for the time that they have with the family. And they get to see a husband and wife who genuinely love each other. You know, our affection with each other. And I don't think that is the norm in a lot of the families around here. I'm very, I hate to say proud of it, but I am. It's, it's the best thing in my life.
Carol Markowitz
Yeah, why not be proud of that? It's something you built. It does not happen by accident. It's not like, oh, they just were born and never everything worked the way that it does right now. And these are things that you put together.
Garrett Exner
It takes a lot of hard work. There's a lot. I mean, you have a Lot of different personalities in a home and people want different things, but everyone is willing to kind of be humble enough to know not their time to kind of lead the whole family through things. And we're going after what they want, but it's great. The rewards are second to none to have a really thriving home life.
Carol Markowitz
I would love to read the Exner book on parenting. Like that is you've actually now made it that I'm not going to like stop talking about it to you. Every time I see you guys, I'm gonna be like, how's that parenting book coming? Because I would love to read that. I think you guys are such an awesome couple and you know, I don't think I've met your kids, but I believe that I would love them. So
Garrett Exner
they are awesome kids. My son's got his little mullet right now. Uh, you know, I just, I think they're just like cool, fun, good, good hearted kids.
Carol Markowitz
That's really what it's all about.
Garrett Exner
Yeah.
Carol Markowitz
Give us a five year out prediction and it could be about anything at all.
Garrett Exner
Um, so I alluded to this earlier. I think my five, if I, if I gave you like a political prediction, then you could put money down that I would be wrong with like 100%.
Carol Markowitz
I hear you. Same, same.
Garrett Exner
I would have to go with probably an easy one, which is, I think there's going to be more pro America, family friendly content comes out, big movies. I mean, you're already seeing it. I thought Hail Mary was excellent and it was like we all went as a family and there was no worry about what was going to be in there. Young Washington comes out with Angel Studios.
Carol Markowitz
Can't wait to see that.
Garrett Exner
Yeah. Absolutely cannot wait. There's going to be more and more of that. And I thought about just maybe two weeks ago, we were watching the Daily Wires, their show on Merlin the Pendragon. I can't remember if it's like cycle or prophecy, but we're watching their show and Michelle stopped for a second. She's like, is there anything that we need to like fast forward through here?
Carol Markowitz
Right.
Garrett Exner
I think the whole point of this is that you don't have to.
Carol Markowitz
Yeah, it's amazing and I think there's
Garrett Exner
just going to be much more of that going. People are clamoring for families want this stuff. And I think the market is now starting to respond.
Carol Markowitz
I agree. I think, you know, watching project Hail Mary, there was nothing conservative about that movie. You know, the main character, he's not married, he doesn't have a family. He's actually completely adrift because of this stuff because he doesn't have anybody tying him. And it's so interesting because it still was a conservative movie even though there was no conservative concepts running through it. It was just a normal movie. It was what we expect from Hollywood studios that they've been completely unable to produce in so long. Especially with kids films. They always need to have like a very specific left leaning message at the kids. So it really stood, you know, stood out as the kind of movie that didn't have that leftist messaging. And it was like weird because of that.
Garrett Exner
It was a movie that I could see being made in the 80s. You know, when I.
Carol Markowitz
The biggest compliment, which you know, I,
Garrett Exner
I tell young people that I work with now at the Public Interest Fellowship, I feel bad that they're growing up in a time where when I was a kid the all the movies had suburban America as like the epicenter of where you wanted to be. I mean everything from the John Hughes films to Risky Business or whatever. And it didn't have a conservative agenda. It was just movies about families and stuff that was going on. You don't see any of that now.
Carol Markowitz
You really don't. Yeah. And then there's this like corresponding thing online. I don't know if you've seen it, but like somebody will post a picture of like a kid on his bicycle and be like, this is what they took from you. And I don't know who they are or what was taken. I'm like, that looks like my street. I don't understand what. You know, like you don't have to have forced conservative overarching values in order to have small conservative values on your, in your home, on your street. You could live in a blue area and still have a kid riding his bike outside and not being on his phone. I think that we've forgotten that conservative is just normal. It's not something else.
Garrett Exner
Yeah. And you know, to a thing that I bring up a lot is I grew up in Fairfield County. When I was in high school, I would go into New York City regularly with friends. We would go in for a day trip. My parents were comfortable with us going in at like 15 years old, jumping on the train and taking it into New York City. And if you look at 80s movies, Ferris Bueller's Day off, you know, he goes into the city with his the day. And that's a normal occurrence. I think if you talk to most parents today, I would never let my daughter go into even Washington D.C. with a friend at, you know, 15 years old, much less New York City. With, with, you know, I let my
Carol Markowitz
15 year old last summer. So I, I feel like I, you know, it's funny because we have the conversations at home about what, how you should behave in those situations and it's felt. I don't know if I would let my sons. We'll see about that. But she is very with it and she's always been mature for her age and very like together. Not la la la, like holding her phone out in public or anything like that. She's just so. We did let her. But I hear what you're saying, that it's something that doesn't exist in the same way anymore. I remember, you know, when I was 15, it would be groups of us going. She had a hard time finding a friend to go with because, you know, people are like, I don't know about that.
Garrett Exner
We went to St Patrick's Day in New York City.
Carol Markowitz
That's something.
Garrett Exner
It was a big group of maybe 10 of us. I think, like, not a chance. Where I lied.
Carol Markowitz
Right. No, that's, that's different. I don't think I'd lied on St. Patrick's Day.
Garrett Exner
Maybe I'm. Maybe people are going to judge my mom's like, where was.
Carol Markowitz
No, it was a different time. I was in the city many times on St. Patrick's Day. I lived in Brooklyn. It wasn't a stretch, but yeah, it was, it was so normal. And we just don't have the same trust in our society anymore. Like I, we didn't have phones or anything. I knew that somebody would let me borrow the, the phone to call my mom, you know, inside a bar or store or something and it was going to be okay. I don't know. I feel like that we've, that's what. We've lost that like faith in other people.
Garrett Exner
Yeah. And I would tell. I think that's what it is. It's a high trust environment where I say to my mom, you know, pick me up from the mall at 5 or pick me up from the train station at, you know, at 5pm and I'm gonna, I have to figure it out. Or five. Like I'm gonna get there and if I'm not, she's probably gonna leave and who knows what I'm doing.
Carol Markowitz
Hope to make it home sometime.
Garrett Exner
I have trust in her that she's gonna be there to pick me up. She has trust that I'm gonna be where I said I was gonna be at that time.
Carol Markowitz
Yeah.
Garrett Exner
Worked out just in families and in friendships and all of that is kind of dissipated over the last 20, 30 years. It's, it's, it's sad now.
Carol Markowitz
All right, let's bring it back. Like, let's do it. Starting with the Exner book on raising a family. You know, that's going to be our beginning.
Garrett Exner
Yeah. Throw the phones away. That's probably number one.
Carol Markowitz
Definitely. Well, Garrett, I have loved this conversation. You are so interesting. I could keep this going for a while. Leave us here with your best tip for my listeners on how they can improve their lives.
Garrett Exner
I'd have to say the best thing that I, that I've done in my life that I would recommend to your listeners is start your. If you've ever seen the movie Hitch, there's a quote in it. Start every day as if it was on purpose. That's a cheesy movie. It's Michelle's favorite. It really is her favorite movie, but
Carol Markowitz
I don't think I've seen it. I think I have to watch it.
Garrett Exner
Yeah, it's Will Smith and Eva Mendez. It's a rom com, which is like what Michelle and my daughter are really into. But start every day as if it was on purpose. And I mean that. For me, it's in my faith. Meaning I wake up about 15 minutes before my kids do every day, and I go downstairs, have a cup of coffee, and I read a book that is kind of faith based. So that doesn't have to be the Bible, you know, it happens to be for me right now. But it's books on any number of things that try to help me grow in my faith and kind of set me up with a foundation going forward. And I think what that does just instinctively is after you focus on that part of your life for five, ten minutes, and then you have an extra five before the kids get up, I end up moving kind of right into a period of gratitude and prayer. And if there's one thing that's going to be your best defense against depression, anxiety, fear, anything that you're facing in your day, it's gratitude. Just being grateful in the morning. So it can be for any faith. I tell my Jewish friends a book I would recommend. Recommend would be the Beginning of Wisdom by Leon Cass about the book of Genesis. A great explanation of the book of Genesis. For my Catholic friends, I would, I would say anything by Scott Hahn, Supper of the Lamb for my evangelical friend, something by Max Lucado.
Carol Markowitz
But wow, you really have the ranges covered.
Garrett Exner
I read it. I read it all in the morning, and I kind of move through these things. I think sometimes Michelle's like, you know, rushing to, like, get out to a workout or something in the morning and she sees me like peacefully sitting there with a cup of coffee and she's like, how can you be so calm? I'm doing this because I'm like focusing on this before the chaos of the day starts. It's the best way to kind of set yourself in motion with the day. So start it as if it's on purpose and start with the thing that's most important, which is faith. And then you'll be better.
Carol Markowitz
Love that so much. He is Garrett Exner. Check him out at the Hudson Institute and check out the Public Interest Fellowship. They do really fantastic work. Thank you. Thank you so much, Garrett.
Garrett Exner
Thank you so much, Carol.
Metabolism Ignite Advertiser
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iHeart Podcast Announcer
False.
Metabolism Ignite Advertiser
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This is Sophia Donner from OK Storytime this summer. Find your next obsession on Prime Video and listen. We're not saying you need another obsession, but there could be a lot worse ones. Steamy romance, addictive love stories and the book to screen favorites you've already read twice. So why not watch them a third time off campus? L the Love Hypothesis and more Slow burns Second Chances Chemistry you can feel through the screen and it makes you wish you were actually in that movie. We've got binge worthy series can't miss movies. Perfect for when you're ignoring your own problems or procrastinating as one does. Your next obsession is waiting watch only on prime this Mother's Day Celebrate all the women who make life brighter with a gift from Pandora Jewelry. Choose jewelry that reflects what she means to you, and the moments you share. Make it even more meaningful by personalizing your piece with an engraving in your own handwriting, something no one else has, either a date, a name, or something unique to you. Because the best Mother's Day gift says more than I love you. It says I appreciate you. It says I see you. Find the perfect Mother's Day gift at your local Pandora store or online@pandora.net your
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Date: May 8, 2026
Host: Karol Markowicz
Guest: Garrett Exner (Former Marine Corps Special Operations Officer; Fellow, Hudson Institute; Executive Director, Public Interest Fellowship)
This episode centers around raising strong, resilient children anchored in faith and family values, and the crucial role of storytelling in shaping culture. Karol Markowicz sits down with Garrett Exner to discuss how his experiences, from serving as a Marine to navigating politics and parenthood, inform his approach to family, the need for better narratives in American culture, fostering resilience in kids, and practical advice for living with purpose.
[03:12]
Notable Quote:
“I have to do something in the wake of 9/11.” — Garrett Exner ([03:28])
[04:56]
Notable Quotes:
“Being in the minority on the Hill is not fun… I just said, I can’t work on this.” — Garrett Exner ([05:20])
“You want to spend your time…with my kids. I have a finite amount of time before they’re off to college.” — Garrett Exner ([05:50])
[06:18]
Notable and Memorable Moment:
“She was like, ‘Garrett, I’m going to D.C.—coming or I’m going.’” ([07:15])
“We met in Djibouti, Africa… I saw her and just knew I needed to talk to her.” ([07:35])
[08:44]
Notable Quotes:
“I think there is a desire in America right now for more family-friendly content… stories that teach kids about government but through the eyes of adventure.” — Garrett Exner ([09:01])
“There’s room for a more adult version…for the teenage years that people can gravitate into.” ([09:26])
[11:39]
Notable Quotes:
“Our big thing is building in resilience and confidence… you need to kind of put them in situations where they’re going to be challenged.” — Garrett Exner ([11:39])
“We try to just show them that there’s no way around hard work… you’re just going to have to put in the time and the effort.” — Garrett Exner ([12:19])
Time Management in Sports
[18:24]
Notable Quotes:
“This nuclear family… everyone in it really understands that this is the most important thing.” — Garrett Exner ([18:27])
“They get to see a husband and wife who genuinely love each other.” ([19:10])
[20:35]
Notable Quotes:
“I think there’s going to be more pro-America, family-friendly content…” — Garrett Exner ([20:47])
“It was just a normal movie.” — Karol Markowicz ([21:49])
[23:48]
Notable Quotes:
“I would go into New York City regularly with friends … my parents were comfortable with us going in at like 15 years old.” — Garrett Exner ([23:48])
“It’s a high trust environment… now all of that is kind of dissipated over the last 20, 30 years.” — Garrett Exner ([25:54], [26:24])
[26:56]
Notable Quote:
“Start every day as if it was on purpose… for me, it’s in my faith… and if there’s one thing that’s going to be your best defense against depression, anxiety, fear… it’s gratitude.” — Garrett Exner ([27:15]–[28:18])
For more on Garrett Exner:
For more from Karol Markowicz: