Podcast Summary: The Karol Markowicz Show – Stop Trying, Start Doing: Carla Ondrasik on Taking Action and Finding Real Motivation

Podcast: The Clay Travis and Buck Sexton Show (The Karol Markowicz Show)
Episode Title: Stop Trying, Start Doing: Carla Ondrasik on Taking Action and Finding Real Motivation
Host: Karol Markowicz
Guest: Carla Ondrasik (motivational speaker, author, former music executive)
Air Date: November 12, 2025

Overview

This episode features a wide-ranging, engaging conversation between host Karol Markowicz and guest Carla Ondrasik about the pitfalls of "trying" versus the power of "doing." Carla shares insights from her new book, Stop Trying, which draws upon her experiences in the highly competitive music industry and her understanding of psychology and neuroscience. The discussion explores how people often mistake intention for action, and how shifting from "trying" to "doing" can lead to real results and fulfillment.

The tone is warm, lively, and direct, with both host and guest offering anecdotes, practical examples, and a mutual enthusiasm for helping listeners get unstuck in their personal and professional lives.

Key Discussion Points and Insights

Carla Ondrasik’s Motivation & Background

• Transition from Music to Motivation (03:39–04:39)
  • Carla’s 25 years in the music business taught her the necessity of action over mere effort: “It’s like selling ice to Eskimos…you can’t try. You have to have a very strong mindset.” (04:39, Carla Ondrasik)
  • Childhood in Sayville, Long Island shaped her necessity to “survive and choose the high road” by acting decisively. (05:23)
• Carla’s Core Drive
  • Making others’ dreams come true has always inspired her—her career highlights include helping songwriters break onto major albums.

The “Stop Trying” Philosophy

• Reframing ‘Trying’ vs ‘Doing’ (07:34–12:06)
  • The book explores:
    • What does it really mean to “try”?
    • Why are we conditioned to favor trying over doing?
    • How does this mindset hold us back?
• Cultural Myths about Trying
  • Carla highlights how society praises “trying” as a virtue, but argues it often becomes a cover for inaction: “That trying is a brave first step, but it’s not, I’m telling you, it is anything but. It is an excuse. It is a half-hearted effort. It is hiding…” (08:28)
  • She warns that the brain even rewards us for trying, giving “little hits of dopamine,” tricking us into complacency.

Practical Parenting and Language Shifts

• On Parenting Approaches (09:04–11:19)
  • Karol reflects on the disconnect between American encouragement for “trying” and her strict Russian upbringing.
  • Carla suggests: “When you tell your kids, ‘just try your best,’ you’re giving them permission not to do it. … When you say, ‘do your best,’ ... their brain is going to go into do mode.” (09:29–09:41, Carla Ondrasik)
• Concrete Language in Real World Situations
  • Carla gives memorable scenarios where “trying” is simply not acceptable, from stopping at a stop sign to paying the mortgage. (11:13–12:06)

Overcoming Motivation Slumps and Fear

• Act First, Motivation Follows (18:47–20:03)
  • Carla counters the myth that motivation must come before action: “Motivation doesn’t prompt you to act. You act first.” (19:09, Carla Ondrasik)
  • Once you're doing the thing, the motivation catches up: “Don’t wait for the motivation.”
  • Karol responds: “Waiting for the motivation to return is the equivalent of trying.” (19:49)

The Writing Journey: Surprises & Lessons

• Learning and Vulnerability (20:12–22:06)
  • Carla admits that, despite a career of “doing,” she faced new insecurities writing her first book at 62.
  • “I didn’t realize how insecure I could be… Even just, you know, talking myself out, … there’s fear of failure and fear of success.” (21:29)

Pride, Regret, and Relationships

• What Matters Most (22:17–25:20)
  • Carla: “I choose every single day to be the best daughter, the best sister, the best mother, the best wife, the best friend…” (22:17)
  • Discusses the uniquely intense challenge of the mother-daughter relationship, and the importance of acting before regret sets in.
  • “If there’s a relationship you’re trying to work on, work on it. Do that work now. … You can’t try once the person’s gone. So do it now and do it.” (23:22–25:36)

Real-World Examples & Everyday Relevance

• The “Earworm” of ‘Trying’
  • Carla assures listeners: this shift in mindset will stick with you—“like a little earworm”—making you notice all the places you say “try” instead of “do.” (12:06–12:27)

Future Outlook & Living in the Present

• Predictions for Five Years Out (31:09–32:32)
  • Carla declines to “future trip,” emphasizing her focus on the present moment.
  • She predicts, however, a social trend toward phone-free spaces and renewed real-life connection: “...there’ll be more opportunities, more rooms where there’s no phone rooms, more limited access…” (32:03–32:19)

Carla’s Closing Advice

• Final Takeaway (32:50–33:47)
  • “Be aware. We don’t have forever. … If there’s a dream you have and you’ve been trying to make it come true, if there’s anything in your life, go do that thing. Fail and fall and win and lose, whatever it is, experience it and jump in and do it.” (32:56–33:47, Carla Ondrasik)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On the ‘try’ fallacy:
  • “Trying is an excuse. It is a half-hearted effort. It is hiding behind, it’s pretending.” (08:28, Carla Ondrasik)
• On parenting and action:
  • “When you tell your kids, ‘just try your best,’ you’re giving them permission not to do it. … When you say, ‘do your best,’ … their brain is going to go into do mode.” (09:29–09:41, Carla Ondrasik)
• On motivation:
  • “Motivation doesn’t prompt you to act. You act first.” (19:09, Carla Ondrasik)
• On regret and acting now:
  • “You don’t want to have any regrets and time is finite. … Stop trying to do those things and start doing them or you will be filled with regret.” (23:22–24:30, Carla Ondrasik)
• On living in the present:
  • “I don’t future trip and I don’t think about the past. I’m right here right now. … That’s why I really have—I’m very peaceful. I fall asleep in 30 seconds.” (31:14–31:35, Carla Ondrasik)
• Closing advice:
  • “Please, if there’s a dream you have … go do that thing. Fail and fall and win and lose … jump in and do it.” (33:25–33:47, Carla Ondrasik)

Timestamps for Key Segments

• Carla’s background & music industry insights: 03:39–07:29
• The thesis of “Stop Trying” & psychological traps: 07:34–12:06
• Language shifts in parenting, the do/try brain connection: 09:04–12:27
• On motivation, acting first: 18:47–20:03
• On writing the book, learning at any age: 20:12–22:06
• Relationships, regret, and taking action: 22:17–25:36
• Future outlook & technology: 31:09–32:32
• Carla’s final advice: 32:50–33:47

Resources & Contact

• Carla Ondrasik’s book: Stop Trying (available wherever books are sold)
• Website: stop-crying.com
• Instagram: Carla's Instagram (for daily motivation and science-backed tips)
• Key topics on Instagram: “Eat the frog,” Zeigarnik effect, tools for shifting mindset

This energizing conversation offers both philosophical and practical frameworks for listeners seeking to move past inertia, release the crutch of “trying,” and discover the rewards of committed action—whether in relationships, creative projects, or everyday pursuits.