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The Tudor Dixon Podcast: Therapists and the Modern Mental Health Crisis with Rabbi Daniel Schonbuch
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Rabbi Daniel Schoenbach
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Tudor Dixon
Welcome to the Tutor Dixon podcast. I'm really excited about today because there's so much going on in the world. But one of the things that we see all the time is people constantly out there selling themselves and this idea of, you know, make yourself happy and put yourself first. And I think there's kind of this like almost faith battle right. Going on right now because a lot of people will say faith is coming back but faith is not self focused. Faith, faith is God focused and society has become very self focused. And so I today have Rabbi Daniel Schoenbach with me. He is a New York based licensed marriage and family therapist, psychologist and the author of five acclaimed books including his latest which is Viktor Frankl, the Psychology of the Soul. We have a lot to talk about, Rabbi, but I wanted to jump into this because I do. People are facing this even in dating. I saw something today that said that because of political differences there could be like a, a lack of even romantic relationships in Gen X. I mean it's crazy that my feelings are so important now. I can't even have a relationship. That's how society is going.
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Rabbi Daniel Schoenbach
Yeah. There's two things facing America today in the world in general. I would say it's emptiness or meaninglessness. And then the phenomenon of narcissism. And people are very, very self focused and that's really destroying people's relationships. You can't relate to another person if you're totally self focused. As you all know, marriage doesn't work unless you're able to go beyond yourself. And narcissism points in the opposite direction.
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Tudor Dixon
Well, and that's what I think that's kind of the battle between faith and culture is like faith is very, this is, you know, a relationship of three strands. It's going to be the husband, the wife and God. And you have to be all together. And family is also a part of that strand and take care of one another. But culture is me, me is. Social media has really boosted this. And as A mom of four girls, I watch this and I go, gosh, how do I protect them from becoming totally self absorbed? And that sounds crazy, but they are pushed to be self absorbed constantly.
- [05:14]
Rabbi Daniel Schoenbach
Well, you don't send them to therapists that practice normative psychology today, which talks more and more about the self, self awareness, self esteem. I wrote a book about a fellow named Dr. Viktor Frankl, who's a Holocaust survivor. He said, you have to go beyond yourself to become a healthy individual. See, we want to teach our kids things about values, things about finding meaningful experiences. When you focus on values and meaning in psychotherapy, as I do with my clients, people get better much more quickly and for longer periods of time. But it's not going in the direction of modern psychology that's pointing more towards the self.
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Tudor Dixon
So, okay, I really want to get into this because how do you know what therapist you're getting? Because this has been a complaint of mine for years. And it's kind of one of those silent complaints you have to have. I was a psychology major when I was in college. I was able to work at our psych clinic. And as a psych major, you could read all of the files as long as they weren't students or professors. And I read them and I was like, it's almost like they're staying. You could read day one, you read day 1,000 and they're staying in this. You know, it's all about you. And you should feel sad and you should feel like this because life has been unfair to you. And it's. It wasn't, it wasn't getting them out of that. But it's like taboo to say that there are therapists out there that are not helping.
- [06:33]
Rabbi Daniel Schoenbach
There's a lot of unhealthy therapists out there. And don't think that the therapists have no bias. We all have bias. I mean, I teach my graduate students to notice your bias, talk to yourself in therapy and don't respond to it. But so many therapists are so bias based today. I would say years ago, you can send your kid or yourself to any therapist out there as long as they're well trained. I don't believe that anymore. Look at what's happening on college campuses today. Look at the things people are learning. Look at the culture it's creating, look at the violence it's creating on campuses and on the streets today. So you have to be very careful. You want to go to a faith based or value based type of therapist today because they will influence you to go in the wrong direction.
- [07:09]
Tudor Dixon
That, so that is interesting because obviously we've seen this shift on college campuses and it's not even. I've been, I've had people who have studied it, and you can correct me if I'm wrong, who have said there is such a need for people to have something bigger than themselves to be involved in that that's easy to pull youth into a movement that they may not necessarily agree with, but you can manipulate them into believing like you're so necessary in movement that then it becomes a part of who they are, even though it may not have been something they cared about.
- [07:41]
Rabbi Daniel Schoenbach
Yeah, you got to tell your kids, you got to talk to them about values. Everything is about values. It's about courageousness, it's about honesty, it's about citizenship. And they shouldn't be sold false lies. We have a guy here in New York called Mamdani Zormadani running for mayor. He's offering everything for free. He's talking about free buses, free rent stabilized, stopping.
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Tudor Dixon
I believe he's living in one of those, even though he's not.
- [08:07]
Rabbi Daniel Schoenbach
Perfect example, perfect example. So we don't want to focus on those things, seize the means of production. We want to focus on values with our families. We want to focus on God. We want to focus on spirituality. I have the science for it. People that are God focused, people that focus on values are basically healthier and happier people. Less depression, less anxiety and even less ptsd. I mean, if you have trauma in your life, if you have a relationship with God, you're going to recover more quickly. You have those great internal resources. So we have to share these things with our kids. They have to know the dangers of being totally self focused and what's happening in society today as well.
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Tudor Dixon
You know, it's interesting because when we lost my dad, that was kind of what we all said. If we didn't have faith, where would we be? Because he was the leader, he was the. We turned to him. But ultimately we put our faith in God. You know, even though you, you rely on the patriarch of your family, you know that there is something bigger. And if you don't have that, losing him could have been a total disaster for us. And I think that's what we're seeing is as a broken society and even if you can't find, if you can't find where your values are, it just seems like you're just so susceptible to being pushed into something. I mean, even, I would say even with the trans movement, these young kids who are struggling in school are very vulnerable. And I've seen, I mean, having a 16 year old daughter, we see this, and I see this with my nieces and nephews too, is that you're at such a vulnerable age, let's be honest, high school and the changing of hormones, it's not easy for anybody. But it seems like if you don't have that, if you're not there with your kids, talking to them and asking them to share everything with you, they could be manipulated by someone outside saying the reason you're upset is because of this very easily.
- [10:03]
Rabbi Daniel Schoenbach
If you're not talking to your kids about values or go ahead and just do more meaningful things with your kids, volunteer with your kids, take your kids on hikes into nature, go look up at the stars and the seas and the sun, and just bask in the glory of God, what he created in the world. If you're not doing that, the iPhone will do that for you and TikTok for sure is going to do that for you. So there's no middle ground anymore. It's kind of either, or. Either you're focused on the body and the self, or you're focused on the soul and things beyond the self. No middle ground anymore. We have to point our kids and as therapists, point our clients in the right direction.
- [10:38]
Tudor Dixon
So let me have like a moment of confession because I've obviously been in the political world for the last couple of years and I ran for office and running for office is so you're, you're gone all the time. And we had put off some of those family times. You know, it's like, okay, we'll, we'll have a vacation next year. And, and even when I went on spring break, I would have to go out and we would go to Florida, visit my parents. But you, it's like, oh, you gotta meet with somebody for dinner here, you're in Florida, have to meet with somebody there. And I was taking time away. And just this past week, you're catching me at an interesting moment because just this past week we drove down to Hilton Head island, spent a week there. So we're in the car for 16 hours on the way there, on the way back. And last night when I was putting my girls to bed, one of them said, man, mom, it was just so nice to be fully away with you because I felt like I got to just sit and talk to you for hours. And it was so important to me. And I thought, this is something we don't talk about. We do not say enough put. You have 18 years with these kids. If you're lucky, once they're 16, they've got their own lives. Put that time aside to spend with them and pour into them.
- [11:50]
Rabbi Daniel Schoenbach
Yeah, there's nothing as satisfying as a real human relationship. Many of us as parents, and I also have a lot of kids who raised kids on television, on their iPads, on all their devices. What they really are craving is real, authentic relationships with their parents. And it doesn't take a lot of time. Tutor, you could go ahead and spend just five minutes a day, five minutes a day talking to your kids. You know what better than talking to your kids? Just listen to your kids. They want to be. They want to speak to us. We just listen. We call this validating or active listening in psychotherapy. That's the best advice I give for parents all the time. Just spend more time listening to them. The more you put into them. It's like investing in an emotional savings account. We know when you save money, if you put money away every day, you can take it out on a rainy day. Well, on an emotional level, kids look at an investment in the relationship. When you talk to them, when you connect to them, you don't have to buy them things, just spend quality time listening to them. They'll love you. And by the way, when you do that, they're more apt to listen to your values as well.
- [12:49]
Tudor Dixon
It's interesting because it's been something that we've really been focused on with our kids lately is learning what makes them tick. You know what my one daughter is, she loves books. She'll sit and read. She'll consume two or three books a week. And she's not incredibly social, but she wants to have somebody that will talk to her. My other daughter is like a complete cuddle bug. Wants to constantly be in your face, like arms around your neck. The other one is a social butterfly. And as I'm watching them and they're telling me what they need, I've been trying to kind of put that aside and then sit them down and say, look, as a person, I notice about you that you love to be snuggly. You love to have, be able to tell your stories. You love to have words of affirmation, all these things. When you're looking for a spouse, look for the, the person who's going to fill those buckets and find out what they, what buckets they need filled. You know, I think it's a, it's a conversation that had. I've talked to my friends. There hasn't been a discussion in their lives with their Parents about how do you find the right spouse. And that's something that I think is also key. Watching who your kids are and helping them discover what's important to them to find in that other person that they're going to spend their life with.
- [14:05]
Rabbi Daniel Schoenbach
Well, whether it's talking to them about who they are or getting involved in relationship, it's all about values. It's all about values, it's all about empathy, it's all about connection. So those are the two potent things you can do. You can spend more time with them and then you pivot to your value system. I'm not talking about lecturing your kids about your values. They feel who we are when we're present with them. They pick up on the great values. If you're running for the Republican Party, they pick up on those wonderful values. So just keep on doing what you're doing. Just make sure that you're spending time connecting with them, that they're not forgotten. They won't accept your values if they're forgotten. The more they're in the picture, the more they want to connect with you because they love you for listening to them and connecting with them.
- [14:44]
Tudor Dixon
So you've also done, speaking of that, you've also done some work on Trump derangement syndrome. And that is something as I, as we were driving down, we were looking at universities. My daughter's going to be a junior and we're looking at bigger universities. And I was talking to them about, you know, there's going to be a lot of different values that you're going to see there. You're going to, you're, you are going to have to stay strong in who you are and your faith and you have to find a church community and you'll need to get involved to make sure that you have like minded people around you. But how do you do that when the message against the Republican Party and those values is so strong on university campuses?
- [15:22]
Rabbi Daniel Schoenbach
There's a war on our campuses. We saw it explode on October 7th when Hamas attacked in southern Israel, murdered 1200 people, took captive 250 people, wounded thousands of people. On October 8th, it exploded on our campuses. Remember the campus demonstrations? From A River to the Sea.
- [15:39]
Tudor Dixon
Yes. Freaks me out.
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Rabbi Daniel Schoenbach
Globalizing. Tifada, Tutor. It's all over our campuses today. We're in trouble on the campus life. But it's not just, didn't just happen October 7th and 8th. It's been going on for years. Probably 90, 80 to 90% of college campuses are liberals. They're socialists. Many of them are communists. Inevitably, if we send our kids into those campuses, our kids are affected by them. If you're programmed for yours, like Zoram Hamdani for many years, his father's a Marxist professor at Columbia. If that's all, all you here sees the means of production globalizing Tifada. It's hard to escape it. When you go to a college campus, everybody's rallying against Israel. People are bought in. So you gotta choose very wisely and very carefully where you send your kids to, because it will affect who they are.
- [16:22]
Tudor Dixon
Let's take a quick commercial break. We'll continue next on the Tudor Dixon Podcast.
- [16:27]
Ice Cube
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- [19:28]
Rabbi Daniel Schoenbach
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- [19:57]
iHeart Host
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- [20:29]
Tudor Dixon
How did the media get to this point where I mean even when I see people interviewing him and saying but you have to condemn the Intifada. You can't. You have to condemn that word. Globalize the Intifada. It's not. It's not a concept. It's happened. We have images from the Intifada. This is not an idea. We know what this is. This is genocide. And yet he will not say he condemns it. He said, in fact, recently he came out and he said, I think there are different interpretations of it. Again, it's not a concept. It has happened. How does the media let him get away with that? And how is it that we as a society have not said, wow, we really have to educate people on what the intifada is and what he is accepting?
- [21:19]
Rabbi Daniel Schoenbach
Well, first of all, Tudor, the reason he doesn't condemn the phrase globalizing Tifada is because he wants to globalize the intifada. He is connected with the Democratic Socialists of America and the Communist Party on the one hand. And the other side, he espouses Islamic fundamentalism. This is the Red Green alliance that's happening. It's happening in our campuses right now. So he actually believes in it. So therefore, how can you condemn it? The media is just complicit. Like they rail against the Republican Party. Like they railed against you, perhaps, like they railed against Donald Trump. They're doing it to Israel, they're doing it to the Jews. And that's. We have to get together right now and uncover the media. That's why podcasting like you're doing and I'm trying to do is just so incredibly important. It's the last freedom space in America for free media, is to go in on a podcast and talk. That's why it's so popular today. We just got to keep on talking as loudly as we can, as many occasions as we can, to fight back all the lies from cnn, the left wing media, and perpetuating what they've been saying for years. But now we see the violence on our streets, we know how dangerous it actually is.
- [22:20]
Tudor Dixon
Well, but let me ask you about. You mentioned that he espouses the Islamic fundamentalist values, but he also is out there marching with the LGBTQ community. And so there is contrast in that messaging. And so when you say that about Islamic fundamentalism, what do you. What exactly are you referring to?
- [22:45]
Rabbi Daniel Schoenbach
You're referring to that Red Green Alliance. The Red Green alliance is the far left, Democratic Socialist America, Communist Party of America together with Islamic fundamentals. Why would they be together? Why would somebody who's LGBTQ support Hamas, which throws people off buildings who are homosexuals? Right. They must be brain.
- [23:04]
Tudor Dixon
I don't know, but I think this is a question we've had for a long time. Do you have the answer to that? Because I can't figure it out.
- [23:10]
Rabbi Daniel Schoenbach
Because they have a greater enemy and that's the West. The enemy.
- [23:15]
Tudor Dixon
My enemy is my friend.
- [23:16]
Rabbi Daniel Schoenbach
Exactly. Well said. They are going after Judeo, Christian civilization. Communism ultimately is based upon jealousy. Islam is based upon control. They want to take America down. It's the most prosperous, most wonderful, freest country in human history. They're jealous of it. They want to take it down. This is the way to do it. Destroy the families, destroy sexual identity. We don't know who we are anymore. Espouse the destruction of Israel. Take everything down. Defund the police. That's a great one. Get rid of our security. Then they can take full control of society. So we've talked about this for years. Unfortunately, people think we were conspiracy theorists. You know, it's not true. It's happening in real time. If we don't stop Mamdani right now, if New York goes away of Mamdani, we're looking at a domino effect. Because New York is the icon of freedom. It's the icon of culture. It's the icon democracy, of finance, of free speech, of everything, of capitalism. If they take down with the democratic socialism, America, meaning, that's Talib, that's Ilhan Omar, that's Elizabeth Horne. If they take New York, the whole country could collapse in a domino effect.
- [24:29]
Tudor Dixon
So as we've been watching this, I mean, you talked about defund the police. I want to bring that up because we're right now seeing Donald Trump come out and say he is going to take over the Public safety in D.C. in the capital city, because we've obviously seen all of these murders and just another murder this week, which I think is devastating. He comes out and says this, a few hours later, someone's murdered. But these are, this is not. I think that Democrats have turned their back on communities where they go, oh, you know what? That's a high crime community. We're not going to look at it anymore. And now it's seeping out into communities where they, they can't hide it. And it shouldn't be hidden in the other communities, but they allow it to be hidden. Their media doesn't talk about these crimes that happen when it comes out of a high crime community. But now you see the two staffers of a foreign diplomat murdered on the streets of our Capitol. And that blows my mind because the media didn't say anything. There wasn't this major outrage. Oh, my gosh, how could this have happened in our capital city? You see an intern for a congressman murdered on the streets of Washington, D.C. because he was hit by a stray bullet last night. You've got somebody murdered. You have this kid that worked in the, in the administration, this Doge kid that gets beaten up because he's trying to protect a woman that he sees being beaten up. This is our capital city. This is the first time I've heard defund the police for years. But now I'm seeing Democrats come out and openly say, we are okay with this crime. Why are you trying to stop it? What is that?
- [26:04]
Rabbi Daniel Schoenbach
The exact same problem in New York right now. I mean, this is a dangerous city. Go out of my home. There's hundreds of people walking around. Are ill, violent, destructive. The New York City subway system, by the way, Mamdani was in a New York assemblyman. They control the state in New York, controls the subways. It's his disaster. He was already in charge of it. It's a disaster. I have not been in the subway for years. It is so dangerous. There are sick people. You remember the stories like last year where somebody was set on fire. There were dangerous, very ill people walking around. And the New York City legislation as well. They wanted to defund the police. They want cashless bail. Therefore they have. Very well. And then when destructive people around, when.
- [26:44]
Tudor Dixon
Adams, when Mayor Adams put police officers into the subway, then people went crazy about that. Oh, we don't want to be ruled by these police. But I feel the same. I lived in New York in 1999 and 2000 and I rode the subway everywhere. Never, never even thought about it. Never felt unsafe. Today I go there. No way. I would never go there. I would never go to the subway.
- [27:05]
Rabbi Daniel Schoenbach
Look what happened. There was a mass shooting here two weeks ago. And people don't talk about it. Why are they coming here? You can kill anybody anywhere. It's coming to New York City. It represents. It's the icon of American exceptionalism, of capitalism, of democracy. They want to take it down. The whole system, the left system, wants to take it all down because they're jealous of it. And one of the ways they do that is by creating chaos.
- [27:27]
Tudor Dixon
Think about how bizarre that is though, now that you mention it, you had a guy walk through the streets with. What was it, an AK47.
- [27:34]
Rabbi Daniel Schoenbach
47. It looked like. Yeah.
- [27:36]
Tudor Dixon
No one says anything. How is that possible?
- [27:40]
Rabbi Daniel Schoenbach
No, it's really crazy. And if you thought it was bad when you were here a few years ago, you haven't seen nothing yet. If Mamdani gets in power and actually carries out what he said several times, he's a bit wishy washy now for votes, but he said many times, defund the Police and take his word seriously. He means he wants to put in social workers to go in homes where there's domestic violence. He's not gonna protect women. Women will be the first VICT of Azar Mamdani because he doesn't want police to go in. He wants social workers to go in. Even Eric Adams was saying, one of the most dangerous calls. He was a chief of police years ago. One of the most dangerous calls a policeman can get is a domestic violence case where he's going into a house. Mamdani is saying, let's send in social workers. Your MSWs. What social worker will go in with a guy has a gun or a machete is gonna kill them? This is a very dangerous situation. It's no joke. We saw it with BLM years ago. We're seeing it again right now. Defund the police is a way to take down the western world, and they actually want to do it to us.
- [28:39]
Tudor Dixon
So would you say in that situation, I mean, you're kind of looking at a crime of passion, right, when you have a domestic violence situation. So anything can happen, Anything can escalate. Would that be one of the more dangerous situations to walk into? And here they're saying no cops.
- [28:54]
Rabbi Daniel Schoenbach
It is definitely one of the most dangerous situations you could ever imagine walking to in a domestic violence situation. She could be killed. He could be killed. It's extremely dangerous. Walking into a person's home is dangerous. You want to take them outside the home, so to speak. So he's making women in danger. It's even worse than that. He's endangering the lives of all the immigrants that live here, all the minorities that live here. Hispanic. The people that will be the greatest victims of Zoramdani are people maybe voting for him. Hispanic Americans, African Americans, they're in tremendous danger if he pulls back the police. These communities, which are, at best, calm, sometimes with a lot of violence, will get much, much worse. If he gets in, everybody loses.
- [29:34]
Tudor Dixon
So that is what I think is somewhat interesting. I think Americans always see this, the country, as a melting pot, and what makes us America is that you have all of these different communities, and especially in cities like New York, where you have, you know, Chinatown and Little Italy and all these different communities that have a section of the city, but they all function together. That has been the beauty of western civilization. And we. I think that that was what Europe saw when they said, oh, yeah, we're going to accept a mass immigration because everybody wants to German and everybody wants to be English, and everybody wants to be Irish or Swedish. And then suddenly those values were not the same. And. And it was too late. I really believe in some of those cities, it was too late. The culture changed. And a lot of those folks, I have friends in the Czech Republic, they don't allow immigration. And they say, you know, we've seen this surrounding countries, and they. They're no longer the same culture. And that history is completely gone. So can Western civilization survive if we see that Western. Western civilization in Europe is already kind of falling apart and it's changing?
- [30:40]
Rabbi Daniel Schoenbach
Yeah, just go to the streets of London. We call it Londonistan. The streets of Paris today, it's coming from immigration. It's people that don't share Judeo Christian values, Western values. The thing which keeps New York so beautiful and you've lived here for a bit, Chinatown, Little Italy, Lower east side. The other thing that's keeping it together are people's values as countries. They came from and built these beautiful communities. And the other thing which is keeping it together for at least 100 years is the respect of law. We have to respect the police, whether it's in the streets of New York or it's on college campuses, people parading around campuses, setting up camp encampments, blocking Jewish students from getting to class. The police should have been called in. They were not allowed to go into Columbia University initially. We don't respect the police. We don't respect society. We take away people's security. And unfortunately, Democrats keep on pushing this narrative, we have to get rid of the police. But it's the most dangerous thing which will actually break down our wonderful democracy if we don't have police.
- [31:37]
Tudor Dixon
Well, and even when they stopped, the whole message of defund the police. Like I said, I think this week has been very telling because as the president, even the entire administration. Let me go back the entire administration, because when he got in, he was saying, okay, we're going to make sure that we are closing the border. And then once you have a closed border, you can really take a look at who is inside of the country and who should not be inside of the country. And then you don't have the massive flow in. And the Democrats went crazy about that. How could you close the border? Why don't you want. Why. Why don't you want to make sure that you're only letting the people in that you want to let in? But then you go to the next level of seeing our capital city fall apart and say, we're going to have more law enforcement out there and they're going to be Able to enforce laws. And, and this argument is very interesting to me because there have been people that are like, these are 14, 15 and 16 year old kids and they cannot have law enforcement come down on them. Why?
- [32:34]
Rabbi Daniel Schoenbach
Well, you're bringing together some things. Let me go back as a therapist to talk about this. Let's talk about your family in your own home. Right. So would you open your doors all the time, late at night when you're sleeping? Can anybody walk into your house whenever they want and do whatever they want? No one would. Elizabeth Warren, who wants it to happen, she wouldn't let that happen in her home. Zoram Donnie just came back from Uganda where he came from and he had a parade of military enforcement and he's walking around New York now with police all around him. Everybody knows logically that you can't open your home to everybody. That's number one. Number two is when our teenagers, teenagers want things that are not good for us, good for them. What do we tell them if we're smart? We say, no, I'm sorry, you can't have that right now. It's the whole breakdown of the family and the full breakdown of society. There's no limitations, there's no values, there's no one saying no. Kids actually, believe me, as a psychologist, I work with families as well. Kids actually are okay when you say no, they're going to push, they're going to fight you. I want it, I want it, I want it. You say I'm sorry with kindness. I'm sorry, you can't have it. And by the way, they feel more secure when they're told no. They understand there's boundaries. Our society has taken away the boundaries. We're seeing it in families breaking down and we're seeing it in places like New York where they want to take away the police from us. We're breaking around down all these boundaries and our lives are dysfunctional and extremely dangerous as well.
- [33:55]
Tudor Dixon
Well, and that's something that I think I noticed growing up, that there were fewer boundaries on us than I think our parents. And then our generation was like we were the gener that was constantly praised, constantly given a trophy for everything we did. And then I think that the parents, my, of my generation have been like, we just want to make them happy. We want to make them happy. We'll give, give, give. And I've noticed with my kids, you know, every kid is different and I certainly have one that is the one that will push as hard as she can to get whatever she wants. And oftentimes when I've said no, she'll come to me later, even though we have a huge fit and how could you do this? And I want this to be bad. She'll come up to me later and she'll be like, you were right, I'm glad you said no. But she would never have experienced that if I was like, you know what? We're always going to give in.
- [34:44]
Rabbi Daniel Schoenbach
Yeah, it's definitely okay to set boundaries. And as a family therapist, I teach parents all the time about this concept. You can't be strong all the time. And if you want to be strong, you have to have it balanced with a lot of love. So it's these two powerful forces. A lot of love and setting boundaries. Parents that just set boundaries. Without relationship time, without love, love, the kids will rebel. So it's really incumbent on what you said before. If we want healthy kids, we have to treat them with respect and love, but also teach them values. That's the potent combination between these two different polls and they really. That really works when you do that with your kids.
- [35:19]
Tudor Dixon
Let's take a quick commercial break. We'll continue next on the Tutor Dixon Podcast.
- [35:25]
Ice Cube
The reviews and ratings are in and Ice Cube's Big Three is the surprise hit of the summer. This Saturday, 4pm Eastern on CBS, with playoff elimination on the line, the stars will be flocking to Los Angeles to witness the most physical, fiercest and competitive basketball in the world. Miami's Michael Beasley and Lance Stevenson must win over Houston to make the playoffs, reeling from last week's savage beating at the hands of Chicago's possessed Montrez Harold. Last time these teams met, Miami beat Houston, but they are a dangerous team having their manhood at stake. Then breakout star Dwight Howard of the Lake La Riot will battle Gary Payton's Boston squad in a do or die match for both teams, will LA avenge their previous shocking loss to perennial basketball Boston rivals? To survive, six teams are allowed for four spots and all must win. Don't miss the Big Three, the three on three basketball league everyone is talking about. There's no crying in the big three. And the no hold spot action starts Saturday at 4pm Eastern, 1pm Pacific, followed by two games on Vice starting at 6:30 to Eastern. Presented by iHeart.
- [36:25]
Lisa Booth
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- [37:25]
Christina Quinn
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- [38:25]
Rabbi Daniel Schoenbach
If you eat too many ultra processed foods, you could be starving your gut microbes and they'll get hangry. That's one of many things I learned after working on a new audio course about the gut microbiome. You can learn how to keep your gut happy by listening. Listening to Try this From the Washington Post I'm Christina Quinn. I host Try this. Dig in with me on practical advice for life's common challenges. Follow. Try this right now, wherever you're listening. Seriously, try it.
- [38:55]
iHeart Host
Check out Vizio's complete lineup of home entertainment. From stunning smart TVs to immersive soundbars, Vizio has you covered. Experience entertainment like never before with hundreds of built in and apps including Watch Free plus for free live and on Demand TV all ready to go right out of the box. You can even stream your favorite music, radio and podcasts with the iHeartRadio app available on every Vizio Smart TV. Transform your entertainment with incredible picture quality and next level audio. Visit vizio.com today.
- [39:27]
Tudor Dixon
I think parenting is hard, though, today, and maybe it's just because I'm going through it and my parents went through different things, but with all of the outside influences of social media and this, it's like a now culture. You order it on Amazon, it comes to the house the next morning. We want everything. We want it now. And our kids have. They don't even have commercials. I mean, I know that sounds silly, but I'm like, man, I had to wait a week to see what the next episode of Friends was going to be like and then sit through the commercials. You know, like, those were things that that waiting process taught me. You know, you can't get everything, but now you can get everything you want right away. And so the only barrier is your parents. And you do have these battles. And I've actually had conversation with my kids what you're talking about, because they've. We've had battles. And I think that's hard, too, because as a parent, I'm like, wow, having a fight with my kids, is that damaging to them? And I try to always go back and say, look, I love you so much. And my one daughter has said to me, is there ever a time when I'm so mean and I'm so angry that you would stop loving me And Mike, never, never, never.
- [40:35]
Rabbi Daniel Schoenbach
Yeah, that's beautiful. I'll never stop loving you, honey. You're the most important thing in my life to me. But there's times we're going to say no to you because we know what's best for you. That's a beautiful message. Again, the love with the strength and the boundaries is what creates very powerfully resilient children. I've been wondering about this. My wife and I, look, we have seven kids and we have grandchildren at this point, but we've been looking at families for years. The families that allowed their kids to do whatever they want didn't necessarily turn out very healthy. The families that are a bit stronger, who had values, that went for religious services, that had culture, they had meaningful experiences together in the Jewish tradition. We have Friday night dinner, we have the Sabbath meals together. We go to synagogue, people go to church on Sunday. The people that do that consistently create these healthy boundaries, create this wonderful sense of spirituality and continuity, and those are the powerful things which keep society safe. Those are the powerful things which keep people, people healthy as well. And unfortunately, if you go to most therapists today and you say you believe in God, they'll say you're crazy. God's a figment of imagination. That's the bias that we're getting from therapists. They've been indoctrinated against God. In one of my earlier books, I had a chapter and the question was, should we keep God in the waiting room? And when we were training as therapists over the years, we were told to keep the strict separation between church and state. State. Now, of course, I would never express my religious values to my clients, but if they want to talk about these important things, invite God into the session. Invite the discussion of values and meaning into the discussion. That's what Viktor Frankl talked about in Man Search for Meaning. We want to point people towards values and towards meaningful experiences. Those are the things which make them healthy. Not Netflix, not instant purchase on Amazon. And the new thing is Uber Eats. And it's horrible because it's very expensive. Expensive.
- [42:25]
Tudor Dixon
Oh my goodness, it's so true. So this is embarrassing, but I actually had one day so you know, you could. Your kids, they want to download an app and it comes for people who don't have kids today. They, it comes to you, or at least on our phones, it comes to us. And we can either approve or disapprove as the parents. So I didn't know that my husband had approved Uber Eats for my daughter. And I come to pick her up from school and she comes out, out with a giant Starbucks drink. And I was like, how do you have Starbucks? You've been at school all day. Who bought that for you? And she's like, I had pizza too. I'm like, how did you have that? And she said, I ordered it on Uber Eats. And I was like, oh no, no, we are not doing that. And that was the last time she did it. But that's how it works. They will push.
- [43:12]
Rabbi Daniel Schoenbach
They will push, yeah, 100%. And they're not happier for it. Believe me. People are not happy with when they're fully self focused, they're only focusing on themselves. They're not going to be happy. They need to go beyond themselves. You know what's more satisfying? Uber Eats or taking a hike in the mountains, going on a raft, whitewater rafting with your kids, laughing together, making a campfire during the summertime, having a great time with them. That's going to be emotionally and mentally invigorating for them. Those are the deep experiences that we could have with our kids, which give them the energy to have more successful lives. But if we allow Amazon and Netflix and Uber Eats to feed them and to educate them, we don't have a chance.
- [43:54]
Tudor Dixon
And honestly, what leads them. I. I know. I'm. I'm. This will be the last thing I'll say. Also, what leads them to a life that is fulfilling with another person? Because I think if you become this in this world of I have to post the picture of what I'm drinking, and I have to post the picture of where I'm outside right now and my vacation and my this, your life becomes more focused on what other people you don't even know think about you. And I've seen so many relationships with young people that have broken down because, like, you can't get away from your device to look at me. And that, to me, is a very. A very crucial part of parenting today. Put that down and focus on the people around you.
- [44:32]
Rabbi Daniel Schoenbach
Yeah. The healthiest things we can do. And I'm sure you're very, very, very busy, and I am. We're always on our phones answering messages, taking care of bills and things. The most important thing we could do, do for our children and for our marriages is put away our phones. Just put them away. I suggest to family members all the time, when you get home at night and the kids are home, take your phone, lock it in another room, put a limitation for one hour. We will spend time just talking in our family. Sometimes you go into somebody's house, everybody's on their phone. I've walked into my home, all five kids are all on their phones. And we're also on our phones. No one's connecting at family time. At that point, I'd say, guys, let's put away our phones for half an hour. For one hour, I guarantee you put away the phones. There's connection. People calm down, less depressed, less anxious, feel good, feel loved. And that all comes through deep connection. But we got to put away our cell phones. That's the real enemy.
- [45:25]
Tudor Dixon
Absolutely. So, Rabbi, you have such great advice. Where can people find you? How do they follow you?
- [45:30]
Rabbi Daniel Schoenbach
Well, they can go to my podcast. It's called Viktor Frankl Podcast. I have wonderful guests on from around the world talking about the issues of the day. Also, I have a coaching company. Company, it's called torahpsychology.org and I train people to do with their own families what I teach other people to do as well.
- [45:44]
Tudor Dixon
Wonderful. Rabbi Daniel Schoenbach, thank you so much for being on.
- [45:48]
Rabbi Daniel Schoenbach
Great to be with you and thank.
- [45:50]
Tudor Dixon
You all for listening to the Tutor Dixon podcast for this episode and others, go to tutordixonpodcast.com, the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcast. And you can watch the full video on YouTube or rumble tutor Dixon and join us next time. Have a Blessed Day.
- [46:08]
Ice Cube
Ice Cube's Big Three is the surprise hit of the summer this Saturday, 4pm Eastern on CBS with playoff elimination on the line. The most physical, fiercest and competitive basketball in the world. Miami's Michael Beasley and Lance Stevenson must win to make the playoffs and breakout star Dwight Howard of the LA Riot will battle Gary Payton's Boston squad in a DUA Die match for both teams. Six teams are alive for four spots and all must win. There's no crying in the big three and the no holds barred action starts Saturday at 4pm Eastern, 1pm Pacific. Presented by iHeart.
- [46:40]
Christina Quinn
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- [47:39]
Rabbi Daniel Schoenbach
If you eat too many ultra processed foods, you could be starving your gut microbes and they'll get hanging. That's one of many things I learned after working on a new audio course about the gut microbiome. You can learn how to keep your gut happy by listening to Try this from the Washington Post. I'm Christina Quinn. I host Try this. Dig in with me on practical advice for life's common challenges. Follow Try this right now, wherever you're listening. Seriously, try it.
- [48:09]
iHeart Host
Check out Vizio's complete lineup of home entertainment. From stunning smart TVs to immersive sound bars, Vizio has you custom covered experience entertainment like never before with hundreds of built in apps including Watch Free plus for Free Live and on Demand TV all ready to go right out of the box. You can even stream your favorite music, radio and podcasts with the iHeartRadio app available on every Vizio Smart TV. Transform your entertainment with incredible picture quality and next level audio.
- [48:37]
Lisa Booth
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- [49:31]
Tudor Dixon
This is an iHeart podcast.