Ultra-Processed Chaos and Pumpkin Madness

Summary

The Clay Travis and Buck Sexton Show

Episode: Ultra-Processed Chaos and Pumpkin Madness

Date: October 23, 2025

Hosts: Andrew and Lauren Gruel
Podcast within show: American Gravy

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Episode Overview

This episode of The Clay Travis and Buck Sexton Show (featuring the "American Gravy" food segment with Andrew & Lauren Gruel) tackles the everyday challenges of eating healthy in a sea of ultra-processed foods, the cultural obsession with protein, pumpkin-flavored product overload, changing celebrity relevance, and new California ticketing laws. The hosts blend practical family food advice, social commentary, and lots of humor, making for an engaging and relatable exploration of current food and pop culture trends.

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Main Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Ultra-Processed Foods Dilemma

[03:21 - 12:40]

• Is avoiding ultra-processed foods for kids unrealistic?
  • Lauren asks if it's even possible for families to avoid these foods entirely. Andrew argues that while it's unrealistic to expect a total wipeout overnight, understanding what "ultra-processed" means is key.
• Definition of Ultra-Processed Foods:
  • Andrew: “Processed food is any... I mean, if you cut potatoes, that's processed foods, right? ...Ultra processed food is food that's been ... treated with something that I can't find in nature ... you're not gonna find xanthan gum, like on the side of the road.” [05:25]
  • Ultra-processed = ingredients and chemicals not found in the natural world; introduced for longer shelf life and addictiveness, and often strip nutrients only to add them back as "enriched".
• Market Forces and Limited Choices:
  • Andrew critiques the food system monopoly: “The real problem here is that there's not many options in the market for less processed foods...because the only options that you have to buy foods are from one of the few food manufacturers.” [08:37]
  • Market barriers for small, healthier, local producers (regulatory, financial) keep choices limited and ultra-processed food dominant.
• Realistic Approaches for Parents:
  • Lauren and Andrew agree that perfect is the enemy of good, advocating for practical steps over "all-or-nothing" mentalities.
  • “Start with one meal a week around the table. And what I will tell you anecdotally is that when you get your kids to help you cook the food, they will eat the food.” – Andrew [11:35]

Memorable Moment: Lauren encourages parents not to feel judged:

“Moms, if all you can give your kids is that ultra processed stuff you're still doing a good job. I know it's hard.” [11:15]

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2. Protein Pandemonium & Marketing Hype

[12:40 - 16:20]

• Over-Obsession with Protein:
  • Lauren: “Over the past 15 years, Americans’ obsession with protein has transformed.” [13:00]
  • Andrew agrees, noting new markets for powders, bars, and even “protein popcorn.”
• Skepticism of Food Industry Practices:
  • Andrew critiques marketing: “There’s a movement...and the big food marketing machines...they pick up on this...and they put it on everything...You lose focus and definition on the original movement.” [13:59]
• Protein Powders: Gimmick vs. Real Food:
  • Andrew and Lauren complain about digestive issues from powders: “Can anyone point us in the right direction of a good protein powder that's not gonna make us poop our pants?” – Lauren [15:12]
  • Preference for real food: “I would much rather just like eat a piece of mahi while I'm walking down the street.” – Andrew [16:03]

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3. Neighborhood Anecdote: The Mystery Pooper

[16:23 - 18:20]

• Humorous diversion about a neighbor letting their dog leave “presents” in the Gruel driveway, and plans for comedic "forensic" investigation.

Memorable Moment:

“There is a secret like sidewalk pooper in our neighborhood. ...So, the dog had to walk up into our driveway and drop a deuce. And it was fresh. There was, like, a little steam on there.” – Andrew [17:13]

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4. Nostalgia & The Death of Celebrity

[18:26 - 21:25]

• MTV Shutting Down, Changing Celebrity Culture:
  • Lauren reminisces about MTV's heyday and questions if celebrities today hold the same relevance: “Has social media killed the celebrity? Ooh, that could be our next article.” [19:34]
  • Andrew: “They were mysterious. I don't want to know everything about you. I don't want to hear you complain about your ride to work.” [19:44]
• Overexposure and Politicization:
  • Discussion of how social media and politics have diminished allure and increased disillusionment with celebrities.

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5. Segment: “What the Fork” – Food Law & Driving

[21:25 - 26:24]

• California Speeding Tickets Based on Income:
  • Lauren and Andrew debate the “equity” of sliding scale fines.
  • Andrew: "This is classic California. ... you're punishing somebody for being successful." [22:07]
• Driving & Eating:
  • Lighthearted observations on the real danger of eating behind the wheel versus using a phone.
  • Food etiquette in the car, love for minivans, and family routines.

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6. Sharpen Your Skills: Resting Meat on a Wire Rack

[26:41 - 28:37]

• Practical Cooking Tip:
  • Andrew explains the science and value of resting cooked meat on a wire rack to maintain crispness and texture:

    “You always rest your meat on the wire rack, because then it's ... not gonna steam...and that moisture is gonna ... evaporate quicker.” [27:08]

• Benefits: Cools meat more evenly, avoids soggy crust.

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7. 86 It: Pumpkin Goes Too Far & Chicken Sandwich Overload

[28:39 - 34:19]

• Pumpkin Madness:

  • Lauren’s “86”: Pumpkin in everything, especially cup noodles.
  • Andrew admits: “I don't like pumpkin, so I'm not on the same...” [29:00]
  • He dislikes all pies: “There's not a single pie I like. If you offer me a pie...” [29:11]
  • Debate on pie structure, pumpkin pie, cheesecake.

• Chicken Sandwich Wars:

  • Andrew’s “86”: The overabundance and decline in quality of hot chicken sandwiches:

    “The chicken sandwich craze is becoming a little bit overdone. I'd like to see less of the hot chicken sandwiches because I think people do them wrong.” [33:13]

  • Discussion about the rise, sale, and future of chicken fast food brands.

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8. Final Thoughts and Community Engagement

[34:20 - 35:51]

The hosts recap their whirlwind topics and encourage listeners to share their own “86 It” and “WTF” stories:

“Look, this is. You're part of the show here, everybody, so we want your feedback.” – Andrew [35:11]

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Notable Quotes & Timestamps

• On defining ultra-processed foods:

  “You're not gonna find xanthan gum, like on the side of the road. I'm not gonna go forage for xanthan gum or soy lecithin or artificial food dyes.” – Andrew [05:25]

• On American food market:

  “There is enough chefs out there and maha folk who are willing to produce seed oil free chicken tenders ... but the market has pushed them out...the USDA, the FDA...access to capital.” – Andrew [09:00]

• On parenting & perfection:

  “Start with one meal a week around the table...when you get your kids to help you cook...they will eat the food.” – Andrew [11:35]

• On food marketing:

  “It's the food marketing machine. ...there's a movement...and the...machines...put it on everything. And then you lose focus and definition...” – Andrew [13:59]

• Pumpkin fatigue:

  “I love pumpkin. I do. I think it's great. But oh, my gosh, what the heck? Pumpkin is in everything. We just saw a cup of noodles.” – Lauren [28:45]

• On chicken sandwiches:

  “If every single bite isn't even, then you failed at making sandwiches.” – Andrew [31:27]

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Essential Timestamps

• Ultra-Processed Food Realities: [03:21 – 12:40]
• Protein Marketing & Digestive Drama: [12:40 – 16:20]
• Neighborhood Pooper & Humor Break: [16:23 – 18:20]
• Celebrity & MTV Conversation: [18:26 – 21:25]
• Speeding Ticket Equity & Family Car Life: [21:25 – 26:24]
• Practical Cooking: Wire Rack Rest: [26:41 – 28:37]
• 86 It: Pumpkin & Chicken Sandwich Fatigue: [28:39 – 34:19]
• Sign Off & Listener Engagement: [34:20 – 35:51]

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Summary Tone

The episode is energetic, witty, and full of snarky, relatable banter. Andrew and Lauren balance biting critique of food industry norms with homespun advice for working parents, weaving in nostalgia, pop culture, and plenty of personal anecdotes. The tone is irreverent, supportive, and comedic, making even serious points feel accessible.

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For Listeners Who Missed the Episode

• The Gruels puncture myths about what's realistic for families when it comes to healthy eating—but urge small, sustainable steps.
• The episode skewers food marketing trends and the meaninglessness of label hype.
• Fans of food, parenting honesty, and a healthy dose of humor will find plenty of useful tips—and a few headshakes at pumpkin-flavored ramen.
• Listeners are challenged to reclaim both their dinner tables and their skepticism about food trends, all while keeping it real amidst the chaos.

Transcript

[Lauren Gruel]

This is an iHeart podcast.

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[Andrew Gruel]

Welcome back, everybody. We're here with another episode of American Gravy. What a week. I am hungry.

[Lauren Gruel]

I am starving. I'm always hungry.

[Andrew Gruel]

Actually, that is true. I'm also always hungry. I get a lot more hungry later in the day. I don't know why. I'm not a morning guy.

[Lauren Gruel]

He doesn't eat during the day.

[Andrew Gruel]

And then before I go to bed at night, I'll eat like 6,000 calories.

[Lauren Gruel]

All right, well, anyway, I'm Lauren Gruel.

[Andrew Gruel]

And I'm Andrew Gruel. And welcome back to another episode of American Gravy, where food meets fun, flavor meets the absurd. I guess I'd be the absurd here.

[Lauren Gruel]

Yes, we are going to dive into some of the funniest, strangest and most mouth watering food stories making the rounds.

[Andrew Gruel]

Because let's face it, food news these days have gone officially off the rails. We're here to bring it back on the rails.

[Lauren Gruel]

I love that. That was good.

[Andrew Gruel]

You know, we're trying some new material out here, but thank you all who have kind of stuck around and are continuing to listen to these episodes. This is fun and we love all of your feedback. You can always give us feedback.

[Lauren Gruel]

Effgrue on X, aurengruel on X oringgruel on Instagram. All right, so, Andrew.

[Andrew Gruel]

Yes.

[Lauren Gruel]

We have kids. We have four kids.

[Andrew Gruel]

We do.

[Lauren Gruel]

If you're unaware. Okay.

[Andrew Gruel]

Sometimes I just think they're my friends.

[Lauren Gruel]

Yeah. Okay, we'll get into that later. Okay. So is avoiding ultra processed foods with our kids unrealistic? Like totally avoiding them.

[Andrew Gruel]

Well, and that's the. Yes, it is unrealistic to assume that overnight somebody's just gonna wipe out ultra processed foods from a kid's diet. But I think we need to define ultra processed foods.

[Lauren Gruel]

Okay, well, there was an article in the Atlantic by Olga Kazan. Right.

[Andrew Gruel]

Oh, Olga. How's she doing?

[Lauren Gruel]

She's doing all right.

[Andrew Gruel]

You know, she makes a good borscht.

[Lauren Gruel]

Borscht?

[Andrew Gruel]

Yeah.

[Lauren Gruel]

The heck is that?

[Andrew Gruel]

It's a pureed, chilled beetroot soup.

[Lauren Gruel]

Ooh. Can't wait to try it. Okay, so she makes a pretty good point. So this. I'm gonna read a quote from her article. Okay. So. Nevertheless, like many working parents, I find that feeding my family a diet free of ultra processed foods is impossible. After a long day of fighting with my 18 month old over whether he can touch the trash, that no. And whether he can eat the trash. Also no. Sometimes all I can do is throw some ultra processed Mac and cheese at him and drown my own sorrows in some Trader Joe's white kesso dip. The efforts to get parents to give up these types of comforts in favor of home roasted vegetables are frustrating and unrealistic.

[Andrew Gruel]

Well, I. And this is the thing though, is, by the way, and I appreciate that sentiment and the. The entire theme of this article was a bit pro processed foods. And she was taking some jabs at like RFK Jr. And the MAHA movement. And the Maha movement. Right. So, like, I don't like the overall theme of this article. However, she does make a good point that I think that we shouldn't ignore. And in this Maha movement, we've talked about alternatives and different ways you can cook and you can eat and spend more time around the kitchen table and understanding where your food is Coming from, right? Like, it's a very broad movement when it comes to the ultra processed food piece. Cause people want advice in a soundbite. So it's like, don't eat processed food. Well, people need to understand. So processed food is any. I mean, if you cut potatoes, that's processed foods, right? So I think the ultra is important. Ultra processed food is food that's been processed or used cut as the analogy in your mind, or cooked or you know, poached or blanched and then treated with a significant amount of. See, I would say chemicals, but then everyone would be like, well, food is a chemical, right? Like everyone's always trying to play like wordsmith you to attack your point. Treat it with something that I can't find in nature, like hanging on a tree or coming off of a cow or coming up from the soil, right? Like, you're not gonna find xanthan gum, like on the side of the road. I'm not gonna go forage for xanthan gum or soy lecithin or artificial food dyes or any of the other numerous chemicals that we read on the ingredients lists. And the reason there's so many chemicals in our food more and more and more as time goes on is because they want to have longer shelf life. They want to manipulate and change the flavors of the food to make it more addictive. That's a fact. That's what the food manufacturing companies do. And then what they've also done is they've used chemicals in the form of pesticides and different types of fertilizers and as well as through the food manufacturing and processing techniques to actually remove a lot of the nutrients from the food. But then they enrich them. And enriching is like when you see enriched flour.

[Lauren Gruel]

Well, that's what they did with. Which I thought was kind of interesting. Remember, they put in all corn tortillas. I believe they threw in. What was it?

[Andrew Gruel]

Was it thiamine or iron?

[Lauren Gruel]

No, it was like folic acid.

[Andrew Gruel]

Folic acid. They were. That was the most racist bill, by the way.

[Lauren Gruel]

It was so racist.

[Andrew Gruel]

They said that tortillas have to have folic acid because specifically Latino women are lacking in folic acid through the.

[Lauren Gruel]

It's for the. When they're pregnant, right? It's supposed to. But I'm like, okay, that's a little racist.

[Andrew Gruel]

So they put them in tortillas. I'm like, come on, get them in tortillas. First of all, I would suggest that middle aged white women are the highest purchasers of tortillas in California, but that's just a quesadilla movement. So I think the enriching piece is important because then I'm gonna come back full circle here. So then you strip all the nutrients, you strip all the quality out of the food, but then you add it back in supplements and vitamins. Right? Like enriched grain where they add vitamin A, vitamin D, et cetera, back to, you know, same thing with orange juice, right? Like they'll strip all of it out and then they'll add vitamin C back.

[Lauren Gruel]

To the orange juice, which is so weird.

[Andrew Gruel]

Yeah.

[Lauren Gruel]

Is it because it's not like shelf stable, like it doesn't last that long.

[Andrew Gruel]

Well, it's because when you like a lot of the vitamins come in like the pit and come through the whole orange. So when you want to do pulp free orange juice, you're losing a lot of that.

[Lauren Gruel]

Well, also, I know from what I heard actually is if like you'reif you were to juice, say your own orange juice, like the quicker you drink it, the more the nutritional value holds up. So if you let it sit out for long periods of time, it kind of depletes. Is that true?

[Andrew Gruel]

Yeah. Food that sits for a while does lose their nutritional value. And then also food, the more you cook it, the more nutrients you lose. That's why you've got a lot of people in the carnivore movement that are like, eat it only rare or even raw because that's how you're getting the full benefit of the meat. Yeah, that's steak tartare.

[Lauren Gruel]

Oh, I love steak tartare.

[Andrew Gruel]

Yeah, exactly. I think I got her to marry me on steak tartare.

[Lauren Gruel]

It's true.

[Andrew Gruel]

It was that or sandwiches.

[Lauren Gruel]

Didn't we have steak tartare at like, Wolfgang Puck in Vegas?

[Andrew Gruel]

I woke you up one morning with steak tartare on your bedside table. It wasn't steak, though.

[Lauren Gruel]

This is before we were married.

[Andrew Gruel]

So kind of my final punctuation on this story is this. We're obfuscating the issue by talking about, well, maybe ultra processed foods aren't that bad. Right? And trust the science. Or we're all so busy. You see, that's not the problem. The real problem here is that there's not many options in the market for less processed foods or healthier foods which are also, quote, processed, not ultra processed. Because the only options that you have to buy foods are from one of the few food manufacturers. Now there's sub brands like Trader Joe's. She mentions Trader Joe's in this article. The Trader Joe's Mac and cheese is no different than the Kraft Mac and Cheese. It just comes in a cool box with a cooler label and it's kind of fun and quirky. It's the same junk. So what I've said is, okay, we get it. We're tight on time, we're tight on money. We need to change the incentive structure for the businesses that are producing these foods. There is enough chefs out there and maha folk who are willing to produce seed oil free chicken tenders that are lightly processed as opposed to the junk that we're getting from Tyson or the Dino Nuggets. There's enough independent food manufacturers out there who can produce this good food for working parents. But the market has pushed them out. There's too many barriers of entry for them to get into the market. And those barriers come from the usda, the fda, local health departments, local cities even, and then furthermore, access to capital. So that's why these big guys end up taking all of the market share and forcing all of this ultra processed food down our throats. So I think in conclusion on this article, yeah, we get it, it's not going to be an overnight fix. However, we can change the market. And by virtue of changing the market, we can fix our behaviors.

[Lauren Gruel]

Right. And I'll just touch on this. You know, it is, it is hard, right? Especially when we're short on time and our kids are in a million sports and activities. It is easier to just throw them a bag of goldfish or whatever it is. I'm not saying we give them goldfish, but it is easier. So I agree with her on that because sometimes it seems at the time impossible to make something, you know, that's super nutrient dense and what have you.

[Andrew Gruel]

Yeah. And that's why we've worked to do things like get our kids addicted to real foods. Right. So you want the goldfish because you're getting that cheddar flavor and the umami, et cetera and the crunch. Like we give our, like our kids eat cheeses if there's no tomorrow.

[Lauren Gruel]

They love cheese.

[Andrew Gruel]

Yep. So like we'll have, we'll always introduce them to different flavors of cheese. Great cheese, aged cheese, raw cheese, you name it. And then the crunch element is really just like some sort of a cracker. So you can get like also toasting. Like we've gotten our kids to like, if they're gonna want to eat the carbs, like let's get a good bread product and they toast it themselves.

[Lauren Gruel]

And moms, if all you can give your kids is that ultra processed stuff you're still doing a good job. I know it's hard.

[Andrew Gruel]

Start with one meal a week.

[Lauren Gruel]

Yeah. Let's not, you know, crap on everybody who's unable to do this.

[Andrew Gruel]

Of course. And that's what I want to avoid because I think that's turned a lot of people off to the movement because there's this all or nothing approach, this perfect ruining good.

[Lauren Gruel]

It is unrealistic. It really is.

[Andrew Gruel]

Start with one meal a week. One meal a week around the table. And what I will tell you anecdotally is that when you get your kids to help you cook the food, they will eat the food.

[Lauren Gruel]

Yeah. You made like, tomato and bean soup the other day. And James thought it was the best.

[Andrew Gruel]

Thing in the world because he helped us make it. So, like, we. We cut all the ingredients. This is a recent episode on our American gravy show. We cut all the ingredients, but then we built it in a soup pot and we let him put it in and stir it and add it and stir it and add olive oil and salt, etc. He ate like six bowls.

[Lauren Gruel]

He was like, that is the best thing ever.

[Andrew Gruel]

Yeah. It was like zucchini and squash. I mean, yeah, this kid was like frog legs.

[Lauren Gruel]

Yeah, exactly. Get your kids involved. At least one meal a week where you guys are sitting around the table.

[Andrew Gruel]

There is enough food, education, and information out there from YouTube, across, like, rumble, you name it. Like all these platforms where you can pick up a couple tips here and there, but getting your kids involved is the key to that. So I don't want to poo poo the story too much. I think the angle was a little bit political. I don't like that. Although I do think we should lend credence to some of the feelings that people feel as if the perfect is ruining good.

[Lauren Gruel]

Speaking of ultra processed food, protein powders.

[Andrew Gruel]

What about protein powders?

[Lauren Gruel]

They contain a lot of stuff.

[Andrew Gruel]

They do. I'm full on protein right now.

[Lauren Gruel]

Including lead.

[Andrew Gruel]

Like from a number two pencil.

[Lauren Gruel]

I don't know.

[Andrew Gruel]

So you can smudge a protein powder all over a Scantron and get an A on the test?

[Lauren Gruel]

Possibly. So over the past 15 years, Americans obsession with protein has transformed. Wouldn't you agree?

[Andrew Gruel]

Oh, my gosh. Well, no, I agree, but see, I think that's a positive. You and I were talking on the way up here and you were like, oh, my God, the obsession has gotten, like, overboard, Which I do think it's.

[Lauren Gruel]

Gone overboard, because even if you go on, you know, Instagram, for instance, everything is about protein and getting this much Protein. I was trying to get enough protein. I. It was, it was bad.

[Andrew Gruel]

Well, I think that. I think that it's. It's created like micro industries for protein powders and supplements and Co packers, etc. And you don't know like, what you're getting in those protein powders because a lot of them do have other junk in there to make them sweet. And it's like sugary, what have you.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Right.

[Lauren Gruel]

I mean, I just saw the other day there's protein popcorn. They're just throwing it out.

[Andrew Gruel]

What is protein popcorn?

[Lauren Gruel]

Apparently this popcorn has protein in it.

[Andrew Gruel]

Well, I'm see. And this is where the food marketing machine comes in and does it.

[Lauren Gruel]

But then I'm thinking, is there protein in popcorn in general? I don't know. I never look at like, yeah, there's.

[Andrew Gruel]

A little protein in there.

[Lauren Gruel]

Okay.

[Andrew Gruel]

And especially if you do the cheese dust, you might get like 0.3 grams of protein. It's the food marketing machine. The same thing happened with sustainability. The same thing was going on in the 90s with like the carb count and like simple carbs. Right. Like there's always fiber or all natural. What happens is there's a movement. And in the big food marketing machines, the food manufacturers, they pick up on this kind of marketing buzz, term movement, and they put it on everything. And then you lose focus and definition on the original movement or the original word. Right. Cause now you're seeing on packaging, they'll be like nine grams of protein. And it's marketed on the exterior of the package. It's the same Triscuit or it's the same product. It works.

[Lauren Gruel]

It's the exact same. They just have the grams of protein on the front now.

[Andrew Gruel]

Yeah. Like, let's just say that artific food dyes suddenly were a good thing and people were like, oh, we love artificial food dyes. It'd be like 32 grams of artificial food dyes. Right, Exactly. They're just highlighting and remarketing something within their product. They're not changing the formula. And we've talked about that in previous episodes. So, like, proteins are good, but what I would say about the proteins is don't get obsessed with the protein powders. By the time you. We know this because we make a lot of shakes in our house.

[Lauren Gruel]

Can I just. Sorry, I don't want to cut you off. So can anyone point us in the right direction of a good protein powder that's not gonna make us poop our pants? We've tried. Whoa, whoa. We have tried them all.

[Andrew Gruel]

A lot of These protein powders hurt my stomach.

[Lauren Gruel]

Yeah, I mean there's a few that are okay for me, but I cannot, for whatever reason, me and whey protein do not work.

[Andrew Gruel]

No whey.

[Lauren Gruel]

Yes, whey.

[Andrew Gruel]

Get pass away.

[Lauren Gruel]

Okay.

[Andrew Gruel]

Yeah, it's the whey. But like that's a great protein. But I've really just relegated myself. I'll just eat steak, chicken, I'll just eat meat all day.

[Lauren Gruel]

Well, I did see something the other day. This lady was like, stop going for the protein bar. Just make a chicken cutlet. Yeah.

[Andrew Gruel]

Because if you're getting like 19 grams of protein in a full protein shake with all that other stuff in there, you could cook a piece of mahi which is like packed with protein or heavy.

[Lauren Gruel]

Mahi has 8 ounces of mahi, is like 42 grams of protein.

[Andrew Gruel]

I would much rather just like eat a piece of mahi while I'm walking down the street.

[Lauren Gruel]

Yeah, let's, let's start that trend.

[Andrew Gruel]

Eat a chicken breast. Yeah. Just like walking around. I did that the other day. I remember I cooked all that steak on Sunday and then I just left the house with like a cold New York strip steak.

[Lauren Gruel]

We went on a walk and he's just walking around the block eating piece of steak.

[Andrew Gruel]

It is true. Once again, another reason why the neighbors don't talk to us.

[Lauren Gruel]

Actually, speaking of neighbors, somebody let their dog poop all over our driveway.

[Andrew Gruel]

I am livid. First of all, let me say this. There is a secret like sidewalk pooper in our neighborhood. So what? Lauren and I have been going on a lot of walks lately. I feel like we're like a 90 year old couple. We're watching TV that's closed captioned. I can't hear anything. So I'm always saying, what, I'm falling.

[Lauren Gruel]

For the AI videos now.

[Andrew Gruel]

I'm talking about eating oatmeal before I go to bed. And now we're taking leisurely walks while holding hands. It's very romantic. But we walk and we're walking down the street the other day and I'm like, oh, look out. There's like a little.

[Lauren Gruel]

It was like a little trail of poop.

[Andrew Gruel]

Well, there was just like one.

[Lauren Gruel]

It was like the dog still on a walk and the poop was just coming out.

[Andrew Gruel]

Yep. We go five feet, another little poop. Five feet, another one. This one was, was smeared.

[Lauren Gruel]

Yeah. But then this morning on our way to take taking the kids to school, I go, Andrew, you'll never believe this. There's poo in our driveway. He's like, no way. There's I'm not kidding. They're poo.

[Andrew Gruel]

So a dog had to walk up. It was either a dog or a human. It might have been a gorilla. It was pretty big. So the dog had to walk up into our driveway and drop a deuce. And it was fresh. There was, like, a little steam on there. But what I'm going to do is I am now going to start measuring. I'm gonna get the exact size and I'm gonna find it. Like fingerprinting, but, like matching the poop with the dog. Matching fingerprints to the. To the criminal.

[Lauren Gruel]

But also, it's not the dog's fault. It's the owner's fault. Why is the owner just letting its dog poo everywhere? I don't care.

[Andrew Gruel]

Dog's in on it. Dog should know better.

[Lauren Gruel]

Okay, well, it should have at least done it in the grass. Why do it on our driveway? That was fine.

[Andrew Gruel]

At least you can wipe it off the driveway easier. Spray it down if it's in the grass.

[Lauren Gruel]

Pressure washer.

[Andrew Gruel]

The kids jump on it, and then next thing you know, it ends up in their bed. So if you listening, if you're the secret pooper, just get out. We're coming after you. I'm gonna get involved with city council on this one. Get the forensic crime, the.

[Lauren Gruel]

You know what? We gotta pull up our cameras and find out who this was.

[Andrew Gruel]

Yeah, well, unfortunately, we're not gonna talk, but. All right. Good times. What's our next story today?

[Lauren Gruel]

Mtv. That was the thing growing up. Mtv. Remember trl, Total Crest Live. I would run home.

[Andrew Gruel]

Is that Carson Daly?

[Lauren Gruel]

Yes. I would sprint home from school to see the latest music video drop. Right? And that was the thing. It was like all the excitement in the world. You would call your friends. Everyone would talk about the new song that dropped. Oh, my God. Did you see so and so in the music video? It was the thing. You know, MTV is closing.

[Andrew Gruel]

MTV shutting down.

[Lauren Gruel]

But this leads me to. I guess the topic of this is celebrity relevance. Are they relevant any longer?

[Andrew Gruel]

Well, like, MTV celebrities aren't going to be relevant.

[Lauren Gruel]

But I know. I'm saying. But even back then, it was like you had to watch all the award shows and you wanted to see what people were wearing. And I actually spoke with our daughter the other day, and I. There was a picture of Hilary Duff she posted on her Instagram. And I said, I. And she was young, and I said, I was there. It was at her album signing because I have a picture of it. And, you know, she was like, why were you there? And I was like, that's the only way you interacted with celebrities. You didn't have this access to them at all times on social media and their updates on their lives. Like, every. You know what I mean?

[Andrew Gruel]

Has social media killed the celebrity? Ooh, that could be our next article.

[Lauren Gruel]

Yes.

[Andrew Gruel]

In wtv.

[Lauren Gruel]

Possibly. Because. Because you know everything about them now. Before, they were kind of mysterious.

[Andrew Gruel]

They. That's a great point. They were mysterious. I don't want to know everything about you. I don't want to hear you complain about your ride to work.

[Lauren Gruel]

Turn me to so many people I once looked up to.

[Andrew Gruel]

Well, especially. Cause you find out that their brains are made of cabbage. A lot of them just don't have the, like, thought and intellect that you assume they did by way of, like, their lyrics or their.

[Lauren Gruel]

They used to think they were, like, the coolest. They must be the coolest people in the world. And now I'm like, gosh, you're a moron.

[Andrew Gruel]

But now every celebrity's also become political.

[Lauren Gruel]

Yeah, I think.

[Andrew Gruel]

Which is also annoying.

[Lauren Gruel]

Which is also annoying. I mean, they are people. They have, you know, the right to their own opinion. But sometimes it's like, come on.

[Andrew Gruel]

Well, you're right. I find the ones I find annoying are the ones that are just, like, kind of reciting the tropes, the political tropes that they're being told by do.

[Lauren Gruel]

As I say, not as I do type of people.

[Andrew Gruel]

Well, there's a lot of those.

[Lauren Gruel]

A lot of that.

[Andrew Gruel]

Well, to me, politician and hypocrite are synonymous with one another. So if they try and become politicians, then that ultimately taints who they are. Yeah. You know what I loved about mtv, I will say this? Is that. What was the show where the popcorn came down? Oh, Remote Control. Remember, they would sit in the chairs. Pretty sure Adam Carolla was on that.

[Lauren Gruel]

Or Control.

[Andrew Gruel]

Yeah, Remote Control was a show where the popcorn came down.

[Lauren Gruel]

Okay, what about.

[Andrew Gruel]

They had a remote control. That was a cool show. Cause they ate popcorn, and I like food.

[Lauren Gruel]

Okay, wait, I need to see this. Oh, Adam Sandler.

[Andrew Gruel]

Yeah, Adam Sandler was on Remote Control. LL Cool J. I remember all of this.

[Lauren Gruel]

Oh, so these. Oh, what year was this? Cause Maybe I was 1989. 1990. I was one year old, baby.

[Andrew Gruel]

All right, what else you got going for us today? Lauren, what do you have for breakfast?

[Lauren Gruel]

Half of a Macro bar and a coffee.

[Andrew Gruel]

See, once again, the bars strip it all away, smush it back up together.

[Lauren Gruel]

I know.

[Andrew Gruel]

I think I'm gonna cook 20 steaks and we're just gonna walk around with steaks. That's what we're gonna do next episode. We're coming in here with cold steak. What the fork? Wtf?

[Lauren Gruel]

Oh, that's one of my favorite segments.

[Andrew Gruel]

Yeah, these are crazy food stories.

[Lauren Gruel]

Well, this is not really a food story, but. Okay, so California speeding ticket prices will be based on your income. What?

[Andrew Gruel]

Yeah, that's equity, Lauren. That's equity. Okay.

[Lauren Gruel]

Okay, so if you. Is there like a limit? Like, is there a cap on it?

[Andrew Gruel]

So I don't know what I read, when I read this, I saw it was going to be like, you could have a speeding ticket up to $5,000 based on your income. So if you're worth $100 million.

[Lauren Gruel]

Yeah, $5,000.

[Andrew Gruel]

This is, this is classic California. There's absolutely. They say it's in the name of equity, but there's nothing equit if you're. You're punishing somebody for being successful.

[Lauren Gruel]

Okay, so say you are an individual who, you know is on food stamps, et cetera. Like maybe, I don't know, not even working. Who knows? So then you get a speeding ticket and like, what do you pay? Like, nothing.

[Andrew Gruel]

Five bucks maybe?

[Lauren Gruel]

That is so wrong.

[Andrew Gruel]

But then if you're rich and you get the speeding ticket, you pay $5 million. $5 million for speeding?

[Lauren Gruel]

That would be horrible. That's really, that's really weird.

[Andrew Gruel]

Well, I think that, look, you know, I would say that if anything, like cities, I think if somebody gets a speeding ticket and they don't have the money to pay it, they need to communicate with the cities and they need to say, look, I really don't have the money. Work out some sort of a reasonable payment plan because there needs to be some sort of punishment. I think even getting a speeding ticket if you are rich, like the punishment of having to go in and like, send it in and what have you. Maybe there's a knock on your record and you got to pay more money on your car insurance, but like, rules are rules. Everybody's subject to the same rules.

[Lauren Gruel]

Right? So I guess it's more of a pilot program and one is rolled out in San Francisco. Of course, it is already the land.

[Andrew Gruel]

Of crazy, but what happens in San Francisco happens everywhere. It's the epicenter. It's the test case, it's the beta.

[Lauren Gruel]

Yeah. Several state level proposals have been made to adjust traffic fines based on income to make them fairer. For example, Governor Newsom has supported plans to reduce citation costs for lower income drivers.

[Andrew Gruel]

And once again, I will say this. I do think, like, if I think that There should be. The scale should still be the same. It shouldn't be a sliding scale based on income. I think there should be programs available for lower income individuals or they have.

[Lauren Gruel]

To take a class or something. Yeah, you know.

[Andrew Gruel]

Well, I mean, have you ever taken a speeding class and been like, okay.

[Lauren Gruel]

I had to take. I forget I had to take something.

[Andrew Gruel]

You probably did have to take something like caption.

[Lauren Gruel]

No, I remember I got a ticket and I had to do a class.

[Andrew Gruel]

Don't you think it's funny that you get a speeding ticket now for holding your phone in your hand but not holding a huge double double from in and out? What do you got a speeding ticket.

[Lauren Gruel]

For holding your phone?

[Andrew Gruel]

What do you think about eating and driving? I think eating and driving is more.

[Lauren Gruel]

Dangerous than it's pretty dangerous.

[Andrew Gruel]

Have you ever tried to, like, eat a big sandwich while you're driving?

[Lauren Gruel]

Yeah, I have, actually. One, it gets everywhere. And two, I mean, you're not really paying attention. You're trying to like, you know, for me at least, if it is an in N out burger, I'm like trying to like squeeze the spread on the burger.

[Andrew Gruel]

Squeeze the spread? Is that a euphemism? You're gonna squeeze the spread? I feel like we're gonna. This is a gambling show now.

[Lauren Gruel]

That was so.

[Andrew Gruel]

Why did I say that? So Lauren doesn't let anybody eat in a car. In her car. In my car. Have at it. Like, you can have.

[Lauren Gruel]

No, they can have snacks that aren't gonna make a big mess.

[Andrew Gruel]

Ultra processed.

[Lauren Gruel]

Ultra probably.

[Andrew Gruel]

This is why we have steak. This is why all we're after this show. All I'm gonna let the kids eat is steak and chicken. They're gonna be walking around with a roasted chicken. Cause that's easy to clean up. They're gonna be ripped and I always have to suffer the consequences because the kids aren't allowed to eat in the car. I'm not allowed to eat in the car.

[Lauren Gruel]

That is not. First of all, if you go into my car right now, there's definitely evidence of people eating in the car.

[Andrew Gruel]

Cause I take the car sometimes. It's a minivan. I love it.

[Lauren Gruel]

Little Vanny.

[Andrew Gruel]

I love the minivan. You know, we were not a minivan family when we got married. Lauren was like, I am never gonn minivan. And I just.

[Lauren Gruel]

I was like, he wanted the minivan even when we only had like two kids. You, like, were so into it. And I was like, I don't need. I had my dream car when we had two kids. Then I got pregnant With a third. And I had to quickly.

[Andrew Gruel]

Is that how that happened?

[Lauren Gruel]

Yeah. Then I had to quickly change out to an suv, which was fine. I still liked it was still cute. Then we had the fourth because the doors don't open, which I will say.

[Andrew Gruel]

Our kids are so rambunctious with doors. Every time I pull into a parking.

[Lauren Gruel]

Store, it's the little boys, they. They just. Oh, my gosh. They just throw those doors open so quickly. But anyway, the sliding doors are a game changer.

[Andrew Gruel]

Sliding doors, the built in vacuum cleaner, the TVs, the smooth ride, the hard turn.

[Lauren Gruel]

We have to give her up soon.

[Andrew Gruel]

Yeah, we do. But I'm a minivan guy. Because it was funny when the guy took us on a, like a spin. What a little test drive. Lauren was like, oh, my gosh. I said, look at you behind this minivan. You look like the hottest soccer momma. Look great when our kids don't even play soccer.

[Lauren Gruel]

Yeah, they play baseball.

[Andrew Gruel]

Yeah, well, so minivans go for it. I think that there's been much movement in the minivan technology, so I'm excited about that. I think it's time to sharpen our skills. So I'm gonna give you guys a quick cooking tip here that you can take away. That is the essence of the wire rack.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Okay.

[Andrew Gruel]

I have been one to make this mistake in our cooking videos where I will cook the steak and I talk about resting the steak, which is one of the most important parts of cooking the steak. Because if you cut into it too quickly, the molecules are still moving around at the speed of what the heat was. Right. They're trying to reach the temperature of the heat, so they're moving very quickly, the heat in the oven or the cooking vessel. And so when you cut into it, it pushes a lot of that moisture out of the meat. You let it rest, you let all those flavors come together. You let the protein settle within the meat. But if you're leaving it on a plate, it's still going to run a little bit. And if you let the. The hot steaks sit on the plate, what's happening on the underside of the steak is that that steam, it's actually steaming the underside of the steak and taking it from beautiful and browned to kind of soggy. So you get that nice caramelization of that mallard browning on top of the steak, but the underside is a little bit soggy and it sits in its own juice. So we do this in the commercial food setting in restaurants all the time is we have wire racks and you always rest Your meat on the wire rack, because then it's. There's airflow underneath it. It's not gonna steam that heat, and that moisture is gonna kind of evaporate quicker. But we can do this in a home setting as well. After you cook your steaks, just go buy a little wire rack from Ikea anywhere. They're like one or $2, or even improvise one and just put it on a plate and then rest your meat on those wire racks. Number one, it's gonna cool quicker. And by cool, I don't mean cool so that you can't eat it. I mean, like, it's gonna let the meat settle quicker, and it's also gonna allow for a crispier exterior on the bottom side of the steak as well. So resting your meat. Do it on a wire rack. That's the way to go. That's my practical, kind of valuable takeaway for this audience today on my sharpen your skills segment.

[Lauren Gruel]

I love that, and I'm so surprised we have not been doing that in our videos.

[Andrew Gruel]

I know. Well, there's a lot to cover in the videos because we're really targeting people who just want to get more comfortable with their cooking, develop that muscle memory. So I'm not trying to hit them with the overly intellectual stuff.

[Lauren Gruel]

Mmm. All right, moving on.

[Andrew Gruel]

86 it.

[Lauren Gruel]

86 it.

[Andrew Gruel]

Get rid of it.

[Lauren Gruel]

Yeah.

[Andrew Gruel]

What do we want? What do you want to get rid of?

[Lauren Gruel]

So hear me out, guys. I love pumpkin. I do. I think it's great. But oh, my gosh, what the heck? Pumpkin is in everything. We just saw a cup of noodles.

[Andrew Gruel]

A pumpkin, cup of noodle flavor, pumpkin ramen.

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What?

[Lauren Gruel]

Yeah. What the heck?

[Andrew Gruel]

I don't like pumpkin, so I'm not on the same.

[Lauren Gruel]

Okay. But I do love. I make a good pumpkin pie.

[Andrew Gruel]

Oh, gosh, I hate pumpkin pie.

[Lauren Gruel]

Oh, my gosh.

[Andrew Gruel]

I don't like pie, period.

[Lauren Gruel]

He doesn't like pie. I love pie.

[Andrew Gruel]

There's not a single pie I like. If you offer me a pie.

[Lauren Gruel]

If I made you a pie and that was fabulous, you wouldn't like it.

[Andrew Gruel]

Let me say this, though. I don't not like pie because of flavor. It's because of form and function, right?

[Lauren Gruel]

Why? Because it's, like, crumbly or, like, it falls apart.

[Andrew Gruel]

It falls apart. So, like, I want to eat something, and I want an even bite. It's pizza, right? I want an even bite on every single slice. I want to be able to eat the crust and the filling, top and bottom. But with a pie, with a pie, it all Falls apart.

[Lauren Gruel]

That's not true. How are you cutting this pie?

[Andrew Gruel]

You have an apple pie.

[Lauren Gruel]

Yes, because the apple pieces fall out.

[Andrew Gruel]

Okay, so fine. The pumpkin pie.

[Lauren Gruel]

The pumpkin pie holds up fine.

[Andrew Gruel]

But it's just like, gelatinous pumpkin with some.

[Lauren Gruel]

I cannot believe you hate my pumpkin pie.

[Andrew Gruel]

I don't hate your pumpkin pie. I don't like cheesecake either. They call it a cake, but it's not. It's not a cake.

[Lauren Gruel]

Cheesecake is definitely not a cake.

[Andrew Gruel]

Yeah, but. Well, it's called cheesecake. I mean, I'm not making up the name here.

[Lauren Gruel]

I know you're not, but.

[Andrew Gruel]

But you understand it's form and function.

[Lauren Gruel]

Yes.

[Andrew Gruel]

Right. So strawberry rhubarb pie.

[Lauren Gruel]

Wait, but you like the blueberry cheesecake ice cream.

[Andrew Gruel]

That's ice cream that comes in.

[Lauren Gruel]

There's chunks of cheesecake in it.

[Andrew Gruel]

Well, yeah, because that just adds flavor. That's a garnish. That's a studded garnish.

[Lauren Gruel]

Well, anyway, my 86 is pumpkin in everything. I think the cup of noodle really threw me for a loop.

[Andrew Gruel]

I made a pumpkin cheesecake back when I was running a restaurant like 10 or 20 years ago, and it was really popular. That was pretty good.

[Lauren Gruel]

Of course, his is really good. And he'll eat his pumpkin. Actually, pumpkin and cheesecake, the two things he hates.

[Andrew Gruel]

Let me rephrase that. It sold really well, so I was happy about it. I never ate it. It was disgusting. It was disgusting. Do you like pumpkin pie? Message us. Let us know. Hope I didn't offend anybody. So my 86 it today. Well, I'll tell you where I came with the. Came up with my 86 it. So I was reading a story about how Chick Fil A is expanding into Oregon. I think they're opening six or eight locations in Oregon. And Chick fil A has penetrated California pretty hard as well. Well, that got weird.

[Lauren Gruel]

Penetrated.

[Andrew Gruel]

And it's. There's Chick Fil A's everywhere. And look, of all the brands like Chick Fil A solid, I love their customer service. I think that their chicken is okay. I don't think it's great. I don't like that. When you order the original Chick Fil A sandwich, you get like one or two pickles on there. And once again, back to the evenness of the bite. You bite it and you get the pickle in there, and you're looking for the pickle on the next bite, and then the pickle inside.

[Lauren Gruel]

Why do they only have, like, two pickles in there?

[Andrew Gruel]

It's very weird.

[Lauren Gruel]

Yeah, they should at least put at least six.

[Andrew Gruel]

Generally speaking, with the mechanics of making sandwiches, if every single bite isn't even, then you failed at making sandwiches.

[Lauren Gruel]

Yes, I agree. Because then one end, you're getting all bread. The middle is filled with all the stuff, and the other end is bread.

[Andrew Gruel]

One of the first tips I give to young cooks is that if you're making a sandwich end to end, end to end on the bread, you always gotta have sauce end to end. But that's. I digress on that one. So. So chick fil a expanding everywhere. And that brings me back to the chicken wars. And that was like four or five years ago. You had the Popeyes chicken sandwich. You had the McDonald's chicken sandwich. Wendy's spicy crispy chicken sandwich. You had all these chicken sandwich, and then you had all the hot chicken sandwich. See, I can't even get so excited here.

[Lauren Gruel]

He's drooling.

[Andrew Gruel]

I get more excited about these podcasts than those of you out there listening. I was very apprehensive about the chicken wars because I started to see these hot chicken sandwich concepts pop up all over the place. And because it was a craze. And it was as most crazes are, they're like blips in time. I knew that their sales were gonna be depressed over two or three months. So you open up and you're selling chicken sandwiches, and then suddenly you're going under. Actually, what was that? Was it Mike's? Dave's Hot Chicken? They just sold. They just sold out. I think they sold for, like, a billion dollars, too, like Arby's, but they sell.

[Lauren Gruel]

But this is a good thing. They didn't close down.

[Andrew Gruel]

I don't know. I didn't see the economics of the deal, but I would imagine that it wasn't a capital raise. I think it was a sale. That's never a great sign unless you're a real young and emerging brand who's just looking to grow further and faster. Chicken sandwich wars. I just think that the chicken sandwich craze is becoming a little bit overdone. I'd like to see less of the hot chicken sandwiches because I think people do them wrong. I don't think.

[Lauren Gruel]

Do you want to see a cold chicken sandwich?

[Andrew Gruel]

I just want to see, well, chicken salad. I would love to see a chicken salad sandwich.

[Lauren Gruel]

Worse, I would love a chicken salad sandwich.

[Andrew Gruel]

Get a good. There used to be the concept here in LA called, like, chicken salad Chick. That was a chain, and it was like, chicken salad, chicken salad sandwiches. Jones on third does good chicken salad. Yeah, I would love that. Maybe we open up a chicken salad sandwich concept.

[Lauren Gruel]

Let's think about it.

[Andrew Gruel]

See, this is how these. When we sold our sold Slopfish, our last restaurant group, Lauren goes. Or I said to Lauren, we both agreed we're never gonna open another restaurant again, ever.

[Lauren Gruel]

We're like, we are out. Oh, my gosh. It's been 10 years of crazy.

[Andrew Gruel]

Yes. I was 6 foot 8 at the beginning.

[Lauren Gruel]

Now he's like, 5, 4, 5, 4.

[Andrew Gruel]

Moving on to 5 3. But I. 48 hours later, we signed a lease on a new restaurant. We did. And I'll also say in there, we had Two birds chicken. We had a chicken sandwich concept, and.

[Lauren Gruel]

It was a good chicken sandwich.

[Andrew Gruel]

We did not do the hot fried chicken sandwich, though. We just did a good old homestyle fried chicken sandwich. It was done right. It was over the top, double hander, less than $8 a sandwich.

[Lauren Gruel]

It was delicious.

[Andrew Gruel]

Bob's your uncle.

[Lauren Gruel]

And you had a grilled chicken option. It was great.

[Andrew Gruel]

You did have a grilled chicken option. They're all fried chicken sandwiches, and they fry them in junk, and there's too much breading on there.

[Lauren Gruel]

Wow, you're really passionate.

[Andrew Gruel]

So this is our quick tip and our sizzle it our, you know, should be. Why are you laughing? Why are you laughing at me?

[Lauren Gruel]

Cause, I don't know. You're funny. Okay?

[Andrew Gruel]

I am pretty hilarious to her and the kids. We're gonna talk chicken sandwiches. Whew. We covered a lot there.

[Lauren Gruel]

We went through so many things. Chicken sandwiches, protein powders, speeding tickets. We've done it all.

[Andrew Gruel]

That's because people are getting so many speeding tickets because of the protein powders.

[Lauren Gruel]

Yeah, well. Cause they're rushing home to go poo.

[Andrew Gruel]

Why you keep saying that word? You slow down before you say it, and then you come at it so hard. It's very aggressive. Nope, don't do it again. We don't need to be Mike Puck.

[Lauren Gruel]

Okay, okay, okay.

[Andrew Gruel]

We don't need to be Mike. Oh, we're lose audience on that one. All right, we want to know what your 86 hits are, obviously. We also want to understand what you want to see. If you see any cool WTF stories. What the fork? Send those over. Look, this is. You're part of the show here, everybody, so we want your feedback. You can find me on xefgrul, and.

[Lauren Gruel]

You can find me at laurengruel. Or on.

[Andrew Gruel]

Oh, Lauren.

[Lauren Gruel]

Lauren.

[Andrew Gruel]

She's French now.

[Lauren Gruel]

Or on Instagram. LaurenGruel.

[Andrew Gruel]

And I'm on Instagram. Ndrew Gruel. So the real name on Instagram and Chef Gruel. I play the character on X and that's another episode of American Gravy in the books. We can't wait to put up the next one.

[Lauren Gruel]

Yeah. All right guys, Bye.

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[Andrew Gruel]

12:31 see paypal.com promoter points can be redeemed for cash and more. Paying for subject to terms and approval. PayPal Inc. And MLS 910457 this is an iHeart podcast.