VERDICT WITH TED CRUZ: The Wit & Wisdom of Sen John Kennedy One-on-One

Podcast Summary

Podcast: The Clay Travis and Buck Sexton Show
Episode: VERDICT WITH TED CRUZ: The Wit & Wisdom of Sen John Kennedy One-on-One
Date: November 4, 2025
Host: Senator Ted Cruz, Ben Ferguson
Guest: Senator John Kennedy

Overview

In this engaging and laughter-filled episode, Senator Ted Cruz and co-host Ben Ferguson welcome Senator John Kennedy to discuss Kennedy’s new book, “How to Test Negative for Stupid and Why Washington Never Will.” The conversation blends political insight, Southern humor, and behind-the-scenes stories from the Senate, highlighting Kennedy’s renowned wit and cross-examination skills. The episode also serves as both a window into Kennedy's worldview and a comedic roast among political friends.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Introducing John Kennedy and His New Book (01:05)

Ted Cruz begins by praising Kennedy’s humor, legal acumen, and reputation for intimidating Senate witnesses.
Kennedy’s book: “How to Test Negative for Stupid and Why Washington Never Will.”
- Original title idea: “Always Be Yourself Unless You Suck” (02:08)
- Why he wrote the book: To humanize the Senate, critique D.C., and offer hope through common sense (15:45, 16:33).
- Kennedy: “The water in Washington, D.C. is not going to clear up until you get the pigs out of the creek.” (16:53)

2. Senate Humor & Friendships (02:22–04:35)

Kennedy shares stories about entertaining at Cruz’s donor events by roasting Cruz and other Senators.
Signature Kennedy jokes targeting SEC schools and other senators:
- “He [Cruz] is really, really, really smart. But so was the Unabomber.” (03:05)
- “How do you get an OU grad off your porch? Pay him for the pizza.” (03:53)
- “Why did Alabama raise the drinking age to 32? To keep alcohol out of the high schools.” (04:20)

3. Kennedy’s Cross-Examination Highlights (05:34–09:55)

Renowned for putting judicial nominees on the spot, causing some to withdraw nominations after devastating questioning.
- Example: “If you cannot answer what is Article 2…you’re a smoked turkey, man, you’re dead as fried chicken.” (07:03)
- Story about Trump calling Kennedy after a bad nominee: “Just because you’ve seen My Cousin Vinny doesn’t qualify you to be on the federal bench.” (08:13)
Stories of cross-examining both Democrat and Republican nominees.
“Should I call you, comrade?” – his infamous line to a Biden nominee with Russian connections (09:01).

4. How Senate Hearings Work—Murderers’ Row (12:18–13:06)

The order of questioning: Mike Lee, Ted Cruz, Josh Hawley, then John Kennedy – each with their own style.
- “Ted could talk a dog off a meat wagon and he could talk the hide off a cow.” (12:30)

5. Trial Lawyer vs. Appellate Lawyer: Storytelling and Style (13:07–15:36)

Cruz on appellate law: “Being an appellate lawyer is a more academic skill. Trial lawyers tend to be better storytellers.”
Kennedy on Lindsay Graham: “If you invite Lindsay to dinner… he could get drunk and vomit in the fish tank and you don’t know which.” (15:18)

6. What’s in the Book? The Purpose and Audience (15:38–17:29, 34:13–35:56)

It’s a book of stories, not just policy, aimed at the “average American.”
Kennedy: “I don’t try to muddy the water to make it look deep. The American people don’t have time for that.” (34:34)
Calls out Washington’s dysfunction: “Normal is just a setting on the clothes dryer.” (16:42)
The Senate’s social dynamics: “It’s like high school but nobody ever gets out of the sophomore year.” (16:42)
Kennedy talks about colleagues:
- Chuck Schumer likened to a “five-year-old in a Batman costume on a sugar high.” (18:32)
- Mitch McConnell vs. Chuck Schumer: “Each is very smart, each is very tenacious, and each of them could lose his place during sex.” (19:29)

7. Kennedy’s Small-Town Roots & Changing Role of Rural America (25:38–29:18)

Growing up in Zachary, Louisiana, “small town America is America.” (26:29)
Rural communities’ values and the disconnect with the D.C. elite.
- “President Biden’s people … all thought they were smarter and more virtuous than everybody else.” (27:04)
How Trump tapped into rural America’s frustration. Kennedy: “Even though he’s a billionaire…he doesn’t talk down to people.” (28:06)
On Trump’s humor and debates: “He doesn’t get credit for the sense of humor he has.” (28:17)

8. Candid Reflections and Self-Deprecating Humor (30:31–32:01, 38:01)

Kennedy’s path to law: Focused on basketball and cheerleaders as a youth, only later aiming for law school.
Education emphasized by his Depression-era dad.
Fun fact: His old law partner’s name was Jose Canseco (the joke, not the baseball player).

9. The Bumpy Road into Politics (38:37–41:17)

Louisiana politics “was rough… it was under Governor Edwin Edwards. I wasn’t part of his clique.” (38:37)
Famous campaign bumper sticker: “Vote for the crook, it matters.” – when Edwards ran against David Duke (39:09)
Switched parties after finding the Democratic Party too left for his values.

10. Inside the Senate: Frustrations & Realities (41:17–43:23)

On Senate pacing: “You can’t gallop in the Senate. You have to inch along.” (41:24)
Importance of blocking bad ideas as much as advancing good ones.
Frictions with Senate leadership (Mitch McConnell) and missed policy opportunities.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

On Ted Cruz’s intellect: “Let me tell you what you have to understand about Ted Cruz. He is really, really, really smart. But so was the Unabomber. And therein lies the problem.” – Sen. John Kennedy (03:05)
On Judicial Nominees: “If you cannot answer what is Article 2? … You’re a smoked turkey, man, you’re dead as fried chicken.” – Sen. John Kennedy (07:03)
On changing Washington: “The water in Washington, D.C. is not going to clear up until you get the pigs out of the creek.” – Sen. John Kennedy (16:53)
On his book: “I hope it’ll make people think. It may make you laugh. It’s the truth. It may make you day drink because I don’t sugarcoat it.” – Sen. John Kennedy (18:32)
On Chuck Schumer: “Imagine a five-year-old in a Batman costume on a sugar high. That’s how Chuck is when he gets excited.” – Sen. John Kennedy (18:32)
On Senate social life: “It’s like high school, but nobody ever gets out of the sophomore year.” – Sen. John Kennedy (16:42)
On Politicians: “Each is very smart, each is very tenacious, and each of them could lose his place during sex.” (referring to McConnell and Schumer) – Sen. John Kennedy (19:29)
John Kennedy reflecting on his plainspoken style: "I have the right to remain silent, but God did not give me the ability." (34:50)
Classic Kennedyism: “Christmas tree ornaments and Jeffrey Epstein. Two things you know didn’t hang themselves.” (45:01)
Self-awareness: “You can’t accuse me of not being self-aware. I’m fully aware that my voice scares small children and sets off car alarms, but it’s my voice.” – Sen. John Kennedy (44:47)

Timestamps for Key Segments

Intro and Welcome: 01:05
Book Genesis & Roast Stories: 02:08–04:35
Judicial Cross-Examinations: 05:34–09:55
Murderers’ Row in Judiciary: 12:18–13:06
Trial vs. Appellate Lawyer Discussion: 13:07–15:36
Contents & Audience for the Book: 15:38–17:29; 34:13–35:56
Senate Social Life: 16:33–16:53
Reflections on Small Town Upbringing: 25:38–29:18
Rural America’s Voice in Politics: 26:29–29:18
Path to Law and Political Career: 30:31–32:01, 38:37–41:17
Senate Pacing & Leadership Frustrations: 41:17–43:23
Classics and Closing Kennedyisms: 44:47–45:45

Overall Tone & Takeaways

The episode flows with sharp wit, a healthy dose of self-deprecation, and honest—sometimes biting—assessments of Washington and its personalities.
Kennedy’s Southern charm and colorful metaphors are on full display, making the political discussion lively and relatable.
The central theme is a call for common sense in government, a realistic look at the inner workings of the Senate, and the enduring importance of humor in politics.
The book is positioned as a candid, humorous, and sometimes sobering look at the realities of Washington and the lived experience of one of its most memorable characters.

Recommended for: Listeners interested in U.S. politics, Senate behind-the-scenes stories, and anyone who appreciates sharp Southern humor and political candor.

Podcast Summary

Overview

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Introducing John Kennedy and His New Book (01:05)

Ted Cruz begins by praising Kennedy’s humor, legal acumen, and reputation for intimidating Senate witnesses.
Kennedy’s book: “How to Test Negative for Stupid and Why Washington Never Will.”
- Original title idea: “Always Be Yourself Unless You Suck” (02:08)
- Why he wrote the book: To humanize the Senate, critique D.C., and offer hope through common sense (15:45, 16:33).
- Kennedy: “The water in Washington, D.C. is not going to clear up until you get the pigs out of the creek.” (16:53)

2. Senate Humor & Friendships (02:22–04:35)

Kennedy shares stories about entertaining at Cruz’s donor events by roasting Cruz and other Senators.
Signature Kennedy jokes targeting SEC schools and other senators:
- “He [Cruz] is really, really, really smart. But so was the Unabomber.” (03:05)
- “How do you get an OU grad off your porch? Pay him for the pizza.” (03:53)
- “Why did Alabama raise the drinking age to 32? To keep alcohol out of the high schools.” (04:20)

3. Kennedy’s Cross-Examination Highlights (05:34–09:55)

Renowned for putting judicial nominees on the spot, causing some to withdraw nominations after devastating questioning.
- Example: “If you cannot answer what is Article 2…you’re a smoked turkey, man, you’re dead as fried chicken.” (07:03)
- Story about Trump calling Kennedy after a bad nominee: “Just because you’ve seen My Cousin Vinny doesn’t qualify you to be on the federal bench.” (08:13)
Stories of cross-examining both Democrat and Republican nominees.
“Should I call you, comrade?” – his infamous line to a Biden nominee with Russian connections (09:01).

4. How Senate Hearings Work—Murderers’ Row (12:18–13:06)

The order of questioning: Mike Lee, Ted Cruz, Josh Hawley, then John Kennedy – each with their own style.
- “Ted could talk a dog off a meat wagon and he could talk the hide off a cow.” (12:30)

5. Trial Lawyer vs. Appellate Lawyer: Storytelling and Style (13:07–15:36)

Cruz on appellate law: “Being an appellate lawyer is a more academic skill. Trial lawyers tend to be better storytellers.”
Kennedy on Lindsay Graham: “If you invite Lindsay to dinner… he could get drunk and vomit in the fish tank and you don’t know which.” (15:18)

6. What’s in the Book? The Purpose and Audience (15:38–17:29, 34:13–35:56)

It’s a book of stories, not just policy, aimed at the “average American.”
Kennedy: “I don’t try to muddy the water to make it look deep. The American people don’t have time for that.” (34:34)
Calls out Washington’s dysfunction: “Normal is just a setting on the clothes dryer.” (16:42)
The Senate’s social dynamics: “It’s like high school but nobody ever gets out of the sophomore year.” (16:42)
Kennedy talks about colleagues:
- Chuck Schumer likened to a “five-year-old in a Batman costume on a sugar high.” (18:32)
- Mitch McConnell vs. Chuck Schumer: “Each is very smart, each is very tenacious, and each of them could lose his place during sex.” (19:29)

7. Kennedy’s Small-Town Roots & Changing Role of Rural America (25:38–29:18)

Growing up in Zachary, Louisiana, “small town America is America.” (26:29)
Rural communities’ values and the disconnect with the D.C. elite.
- “President Biden’s people … all thought they were smarter and more virtuous than everybody else.” (27:04)
How Trump tapped into rural America’s frustration. Kennedy: “Even though he’s a billionaire…he doesn’t talk down to people.” (28:06)
On Trump’s humor and debates: “He doesn’t get credit for the sense of humor he has.” (28:17)

8. Candid Reflections and Self-Deprecating Humor (30:31–32:01, 38:01)

Kennedy’s path to law: Focused on basketball and cheerleaders as a youth, only later aiming for law school.
Education emphasized by his Depression-era dad.
Fun fact: His old law partner’s name was Jose Canseco (the joke, not the baseball player).

9. The Bumpy Road into Politics (38:37–41:17)

Louisiana politics “was rough… it was under Governor Edwin Edwards. I wasn’t part of his clique.” (38:37)
Famous campaign bumper sticker: “Vote for the crook, it matters.” – when Edwards ran against David Duke (39:09)
Switched parties after finding the Democratic Party too left for his values.

10. Inside the Senate: Frustrations & Realities (41:17–43:23)

On Senate pacing: “You can’t gallop in the Senate. You have to inch along.” (41:24)
Importance of blocking bad ideas as much as advancing good ones.
Frictions with Senate leadership (Mitch McConnell) and missed policy opportunities.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

On Ted Cruz’s intellect: “Let me tell you what you have to understand about Ted Cruz. He is really, really, really smart. But so was the Unabomber. And therein lies the problem.” – Sen. John Kennedy (03:05)
On Judicial Nominees: “If you cannot answer what is Article 2? … You’re a smoked turkey, man, you’re dead as fried chicken.” – Sen. John Kennedy (07:03)
On changing Washington: “The water in Washington, D.C. is not going to clear up until you get the pigs out of the creek.” – Sen. John Kennedy (16:53)
On his book: “I hope it’ll make people think. It may make you laugh. It’s the truth. It may make you day drink because I don’t sugarcoat it.” – Sen. John Kennedy (18:32)
On Chuck Schumer: “Imagine a five-year-old in a Batman costume on a sugar high. That’s how Chuck is when he gets excited.” – Sen. John Kennedy (18:32)
On Senate social life: “It’s like high school, but nobody ever gets out of the sophomore year.” – Sen. John Kennedy (16:42)
On Politicians: “Each is very smart, each is very tenacious, and each of them could lose his place during sex.” (referring to McConnell and Schumer) – Sen. John Kennedy (19:29)
John Kennedy reflecting on his plainspoken style: "I have the right to remain silent, but God did not give me the ability." (34:50)
Classic Kennedyism: “Christmas tree ornaments and Jeffrey Epstein. Two things you know didn’t hang themselves.” (45:01)
Self-awareness: “You can’t accuse me of not being self-aware. I’m fully aware that my voice scares small children and sets off car alarms, but it’s my voice.” – Sen. John Kennedy (44:47)

Timestamps for Key Segments

Intro and Welcome: 01:05
Book Genesis & Roast Stories: 02:08–04:35
Judicial Cross-Examinations: 05:34–09:55
Murderers’ Row in Judiciary: 12:18–13:06
Trial vs. Appellate Lawyer Discussion: 13:07–15:36
Contents & Audience for the Book: 15:38–17:29; 34:13–35:56
Senate Social Life: 16:33–16:53
Reflections on Small Town Upbringing: 25:38–29:18
Rural America’s Voice in Politics: 26:29–29:18
Path to Law and Political Career: 30:31–32:01, 38:37–41:17
Senate Pacing & Leadership Frustrations: 41:17–43:23
Classics and Closing Kennedyisms: 44:47–45:45

Overall Tone & Takeaways

The episode flows with sharp wit, a healthy dose of self-deprecation, and honest—sometimes biting—assessments of Washington and its personalities.
Kennedy’s Southern charm and colorful metaphors are on full display, making the political discussion lively and relatable.
The central theme is a call for common sense in government, a realistic look at the inner workings of the Senate, and the enduring importance of humor in politics.
The book is positioned as a candid, humorous, and sometimes sobering look at the realities of Washington and the lived experience of one of its most memorable characters.

Recommended for: Listeners interested in U.S. politics, Senate behind-the-scenes stories, and anyone who appreciates sharp Southern humor and political candor.

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Summary

Overview

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Introducing John Kennedy and His New Book (01:05)

2. Senate Humor & Friendships (02:22–04:35)

3. Kennedy’s Cross-Examination Highlights (05:34–09:55)

4. How Senate Hearings Work—Murderers’ Row (12:18–13:06)

5. Trial Lawyer vs. Appellate Lawyer: Storytelling and Style (13:07–15:36)

6. What’s in the Book? The Purpose and Audience (15:38–17:29, 34:13–35:56)

7. Kennedy’s Small-Town Roots & Changing Role of Rural America (25:38–29:18)

8. Candid Reflections and Self-Deprecating Humor (30:31–32:01, 38:01)

9. The Bumpy Road into Politics (38:37–41:17)

10. Inside the Senate: Frustrations & Realities (41:17–43:23)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

Timestamps for Key Segments

Overall Tone & Takeaways

Summary

Overview

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Introducing John Kennedy and His New Book (01:05)

2. Senate Humor & Friendships (02:22–04:35)

3. Kennedy’s Cross-Examination Highlights (05:34–09:55)

4. How Senate Hearings Work—Murderers’ Row (12:18–13:06)

5. Trial Lawyer vs. Appellate Lawyer: Storytelling and Style (13:07–15:36)

6. What’s in the Book? The Purpose and Audience (15:38–17:29, 34:13–35:56)

7. Kennedy’s Small-Town Roots & Changing Role of Rural America (25:38–29:18)

8. Candid Reflections and Self-Deprecating Humor (30:31–32:01, 38:01)

9. The Bumpy Road into Politics (38:37–41:17)

10. Inside the Senate: Frustrations & Realities (41:17–43:23)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

Timestamps for Key Segments

Overall Tone & Takeaways