← The Collage Podcast
The Collage Podcast
Episode 55- Wendy
00:56:27
Wendy joins Jeff and talks about her life, her circumstances that led to homelessness and her experience at Feed My Sheep.
Loading summary
Transcript183 lines
- [00:03]
A
Welcome to the Collage Podcast and thank you for making us a part of your day. If you enjoy the podcast, please, like, rate and subscribe. Hey, I want to welcome everybody to another edition of the Collage Podcast. And as we were recording on a Tuesday, not that that matters here, but on Tuesday we get somebody from our little area and they're going to come and talk to us a little bit about themselves. And then for all of you out there who are new or whatever, so we are the Collage Podcast. Like we mentioned, we're recording out of a little place called Temple, Texas. So it's little to us. Yay. And as you can tell, we may have quite a firecracker here today that we're going to talk to. So we are in Temple, Texas. We're out of a place called Feed My Sheep here until. So that's just. That's kind of the nuts and bolts of where we're at. And our guest today, I am excited as this is windy today. And so what we're going to do, Wendy, first thing, tell us a little bit about everybody out there. Listen, tell us about Wendy.
- [01:25]
B
Good afternoon. Hey, My name is Wendy.
- [01:28]
A
Oh, don't say your last name. Okay, you can. That's fine.
- [01:31]
B
All right. Well, I was born in Roxboro, Pennsylvania.
- [01:35]
A
Where?
- [01:36]
B
Roxboro, Pennsylvania.
- [01:37]
A
Okay.
- [01:39]
B
I grew up in Philadelphia near the railroad station down in Kensington. Okay, sorry, Kensington now. Anyways, so I grew up there was just in the 70s. Anyways, so in the. Just say no. Because it's very funny that we're sitting here.
- [02:03]
A
Okay.
- [02:03]
B
Because I never imagined this situation would happen for me. And I've always dreamed of being able to help somebody that I knew would grow up on that street. No, you don't have to let that neighborhood take you. You have to learn to overcome things that happen there.
- [02:27]
A
Okay, Now. Okay, can we just start right there? And we. Obviously we are. Because that's where we're starting.
- [02:34]
B
Okay.
- [02:34]
A
So unbelievable in that. What you just said right there. Okay, so you are. We're going to just kind of backtrack a bit from Pennsylvania area.
- [02:45]
B
Yes.
- [02:46]
A
Okay. And the street that you talked about that where your upbringing and you had friends for.
- [02:52]
B
Carl Street.
- [02:54]
A
Say it again.
- [02:54]
B
Cardle Street.
- [02:56]
A
Okay. In what town is it?
- [02:57]
B
In Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. Kensington, neighbor.
- [03:00]
A
And we're going to have another discussion later as why the political. The political system in Philadelphia is so messed up. Like, man, they almost cost us an election. What in the world? I'm just kidding. Like, we're not getting into politics on that one. So that's just a joke in hand. But I am guessing the street is very difficult type street.
- [03:22]
B
Well, let me just say that when I was. When I was a child, just say early 70s, I was born in 67. We did go through that busing. First busing in came originated in my public school. I went to Powers. It was a public school then for. Only for kindergarten in first grade. But they started public. Public busing for integration, school integration. And it was. It was a. It was rough, it was not dangerous, but it was hard. Yeah, because. Because two different cultures, two different peoples not knowing anything. Because we were ugly, but we were children. I don't know about the adults there, but it was very. It was. It was hard. It wasn't dangerous. So this. I gotta say that when I. I didn't let me say that I live next to what they call a trespass, the dividing line. This is your side, this is our side.
- [04:35]
A
Okay?
- [04:36]
B
So I say this because I hear so much right now.
- [04:40]
A
Oh my God.
- [04:41]
B
About prejudice and people like this. And I don't have this, and this offends me only because we have come so far and we are not where we were. I was one of them children that we had to fight through certain things, but we never ever would call people other names. It was not appropriate for children to speak like that. I don't care if you're black, white, yellow, orange. You know, it's not necessary. You know, parents, my parents, our educators taught us that's not how you speak to each other.
- [05:18]
A
That's right.
- [05:19]
B
And it's unacceptable. So for. I guess because what I've seen out here, where I am right now and where I've been is just disrespect for yourself, for your. For your parents. I'm sorry, but I had two parents, mother and a father. And I am grateful for that. But they taught me they weren't perfect. But they did not get divorced through 53 years. They had five kids, six kids. They lost one.
- [05:56]
A
Okay, but. And you know, it's like so in it. And you think, think about this craziness because you. And like, we are. We're older. Okay, so like not old. Like, yeah, like. And Wendy looks very good for her age. Like, she looks very young. Like, if you're walking in here, you'd go, oh, Wendy, she's very young. And then Jeff is just old and washed up looking. I'm tired. Like it. So we're beaten. But what's interesting is. And we won't go terribly far in it, but you've been In a world that, that I pray we never go back of this integration like that. Where the people from this side of town. I. I grew up here in Temple and well, we didn't have busing. We were one of the last place. Ready, you're going to hear something crazy. We were one of the last school districts that bused kids for just the opposite reason. We didn't want them to mix good and we kept them separated. And so you know, this school, because there was no busing, it would be predominantly one color for a whole long time. And this one, just because of geographics, nothing. It would. They didn't bust back in the day because we didn't now Temple High, you came together, you know, but so interesting because that's, that's a different world and it's still like the one we're in now. I don't know. I mean, obviously like we would both agree. I don't claim to know what it was like to be in Pennsylvania. You don't claim to know what it's like to grow up in Texas. Okay, but we know what we were taught. And like for me, all I know is that you did not. It didn't matter about anybody else's physical anything or any social state. You did not speak down to any person. Like it was just unacceptable. My grandmother, she would have, I mean, tore me up and my mother would have been there. No, you don't do that. And so I say this.
- [08:01]
B
What bothers me about it is because I was under. I thought we had a lot of kids. We were not bullet. We didn't have a lot of money. We were not entitled to anything. We did not work for. My parents taught me. I had to go to school. I had to do chores, did 10 cent jobs five times. I was six years old, sweeping or something. Put I never heard this word entitlement that keeps going down that the government is not taking care of me. Well, if my parents couldn't take care of me, then, you know, I'm not saying that there is not emergency services and there used to all. There's always been critical life services, breadline, cheese line, food stamps, you know, but it's gotten what I see right now and this kind of really is hard for me because I'm out here. I have lost. Let me say my mother died in 2012. My father died in 2019. I lost my son. My daughter died December 7th of last year.
- [09:13]
A
Your son and daughter died?
- [09:14]
B
No, my son. I lost.
- [09:16]
A
Oh, okay. Lost.
- [09:17]
B
I got.
- [09:18]
A
No, okay, got it. But yeah, fair.
- [09:21]
B
It's happened at once. I end up homeless. My father died, I end up homeless. I lived in Arlington and all these things started happening and I never. Okay, I started seeing things and it really wasn't till here first. Let me say that when I started getting in trouble in Arlington, my father died and I didn't handle it. I gave up. I went into, let me just say, had been service for. They had been telling me I was mentally ill and giving me a bunch of pills, more pills and more pills. They sent me to psychotherapy. I have been in 27 hospital stays here in Texas for mental health, for suicide, for depression really. Because I mean, they have. And they keep giving me pills. Anyways, this all happened at one point. I had crisis come in and my daughter. He said my daughter went to school and had gone junior high in Arlington Tech.
- [10:48]
A
Okay.
- [10:49]
B
And I drove her to school every day. I picked her up every day. Unfortunately, some kind of criminal gangs have creeped into our neighborhoods. And all of a sudden I pick her up one day and she's got this blue bandana under her pants. And I'm like, well, what is that?
- [11:11]
A
Okay.
- [11:12]
B
So then I'm going to pick her up because she's missing in the middle of the day. So this starts moving up in our. And I'm going. Trying to get her and I'm seeing these things happen. She's getting involved with cases, you know, so I'm trying to find. Anyways, this just started a cycle. Have a son named armando, okay. He's 30 years old, has down syndrome.
- [11:41]
A
Okay.
- [11:42]
B
He raised him by myself, really. He had. He was born with two hoses, okay. He had all the nerves in his Cohen. He had to have surgery for them to see that if they could even find. They scraped it all out. He has what's called Hirschsprung's disease. And they had to find nerves that worked and put in a lambskin sack in his colon. But he had surgery after surgery. I did that independently for. Till he was about 10 years old. A crisis hit, unfortunately with my family and I had to go stay with my father. But in that. In between of needing that help because of all this, I don't have to go in details, but my father. I went to stay with him and nobody really. I didn't have babysitters then. Nobody held babies in my child. I did that by myself. I really was scared that if they did something because of his down syndrome, because of all the medical. Oh, well, you know, maybe something's going to happen. And so I didn't Have a problem with that. But after that, two children, it hit me and wore me out. That crisis was just over.
- [13:03]
A
Okay.
- [13:04]
B
But then I was trying to get help, but they were never really. They started telling me, you're mentally ill, you need to take medicines. We're going to do this. And it never got old, never changed. They just kept telling me that. So anyways, my father died in 2019. When I lost him, that was the only person I was who. I didn't know that really. Jesus. And let me tell you that.
- [13:39]
A
Okay. Okay.
- [13:40]
B
I knew I ra. I was raised Catholic, but I didn't know anything about a relationship with Jesus Christ.
- [13:46]
A
Okay.
- [13:47]
B
I was taught that you pray to Mary, you say Hail Mary's, you talk to a priest. But I never ever knew what I do today. Let me just say that. I'll get to that later.
- [13:58]
A
But yeah.
- [14:00]
B
So when my dad died, I freaked out. I lost it. I started on a suicide rampage. I just wanted to die. But the police in Arlington, they knew me different. For some reason, they kept finding me. And I was like, why are you harassing? Yeah, what did I do?
- [14:20]
A
Yeah, you just.
- [14:22]
B
They didn't harass me. They were. They knew, okay. That I was doing, that I was suffering. And I didn't realize that anybody had ever paid attention. You know, he really thought I was only hurting myself. I didn't know that I was doing all I was.
- [14:41]
A
So then, in that, like, at that time, your dad. You did.
- [14:46]
B
Yeah, I had a stroke and I ended up in Tarrant County Jail. Actually, the ambulance picked me up, had. Took me to John Peter Smith Hospital, where I was telling them, please don't put. That I was there overnight.
- [15:04]
A
Okay.
- [15:05]
B
Said, please don't put me on the streets. They're saying, you got to go. Nothing's wrong with you. And there was all video. I said, so anyways, the cops picked me up, took me to jail. They were not very kind. And I'm going to go into that, but. So I'm going through lockup, booking a Tarrant county jail. For some reason, I had, I guess, ever. They put me in a holding cell and I passed out. I guess I went to a complete stroke. And a little while later, I don't know how long I was out, but three or four cops came in, literally picked me up and sat me in a wheelchair. I couldn't even move. They wheeled me in front of a judge, told me they gave me a sentence. I did all this stuff. I couldn't even talk. I couldn't even move. But, you know, I'm grateful because I told you when they took me down to this mhmr cell, put me in there, I was completely okay. I literally rolled off. It was probably not for a day or so when I realized somebody's coming in. So I rolled off onto the floor. I started moving on to the floor, literally hugged myself. To be able to get up and walk physically. But Lord, I can only tell you the past. The Lord had to do that.
- [16:40]
A
Okay.
- [16:41]
B
Okay. But in that I end up getting held there for to be make sure I was safe. And that's where when I got released from out of there, somebody named Steve Neviller and he's in Arlington right now, but he's from Temple Texas. And I didn't know him, but somebody got me just saying an angel met this girl, Savannah Morgan that Morgan said he met in jail. And she said, well, I had this friend I met, but we didn't even plan on talking. And he happened to be at an NA meeting. I went to there and I couldn't walk. He was like. And he wasn't even talking to me. This guy he sponsored says we can't leave them sitting on a curb. It's dark out. And he's got like 30 days. And Steve, he's like, well no, we need to get them somewhere. And he's like, okay. So they went. And they went to five different. Three, four, five different motels. They could not get us a room. So he took me and Savannah went and stayed there with me so I could sleep in the other bed. I couldn't. They tried to give me housing, tried to get me situated somewhere to get help. I couldn't do it. Steve's the one that noticed that. He was like, she can do it. And he watched me do an interview with the Oxford house and he was like this. And he asked, he said, are you willing to leave here? And I says, I'll do anything. I'm going to die. Then he did. He took off and he drove me out here and brought me out here to this ministry. So since I've been here, I've been sober three years now.
- [18:37]
A
Congratulations.
- [18:39]
B
I have been completely healed from head to toe. Okay, yeah, I can speak, read light, run. I could probably kick as high as he can. I. I mean, I.
- [18:54]
A
He can't kick real high. So.
- [18:56]
B
No offense, Bobby, but I mean, I have. The Lord has transformed me. I haven't. I don't have the skill to do what God has done in my life. And I got to say that this town has had an ascension of angels on it. Because everywhere, from the time I left at home, got out on the streets here, you know, I was taught I'm not looking for free stuff. No, I need to know how to do this. So I, the Lord, and this, I didn't have anything for. Ms. Denny, have we talked? I went to my bank. I said, can I make a loan? I didn't have any reason for them except I was with them for like a year then at Texel, and they said, yeah, you can do this. So I took a loan, a thousand dollar loan. And I really didn't have anything but my bulk check. And I went to a place and I used that whole thousand dollars for my poor. Well, I paid the first month. Ms. Henny took me there and I paid the first week. It was $250. As soon as I got there, I got a phone call from my daughter, Mandy. She was in Arlington. And I was told I needed to go out to Denton City, Denton Medical City, because she was dying.
- [20:35]
A
She was dying, Yeah.
- [20:38]
B
I got out there and she had been diagnosed with. With aids. She had been diagnosed with. They had some disorder, a brain disorder. He had like a list of things. Now he was holding her there. You know, I've been trying to help my daughter for many years. And I have only been sober for a little while, about two years then. But I went up and I took oils and I prayed with her. And I asked her would she receive the Lord with me. She said yes. She was. Let me just say it was soon after that she left. She signed down at ama, which isn't surprising. That's kind of, you know, she was having issues, all kinds of. But I came back here. Well, I went to my sister's. It was right near Thanksgiving last year. And they called me for this job as Danny got me a job helping out up here. But you know, the thing is, this is so most important. I go to a church. Trinity Church.
- [22:03]
A
That's right.
- [22:03]
B
I've never been to a church like this. Okay. My pastor. And I've never really had a long in depth conversation with my pastor, but everybody in that church, it stuck around me. I have took in my eye even when I couldn't even. I didn't have teeth. I didn't. I couldn't even walk right. I just ran singing. Let me tell you, I was worshiping from day one. I don't know why. That's how I started getting my house in the Word. All I could do was read my Bible. He's in worship. Try to volunteer. I would clean all the Time, try to stay busy, keep my exercise, physically work my body out. And these are the little things. But these women at this church has just wrapped around me and told me how to pray. My pastor taught me to read the word of God, read the Bible myself, but they've done Bible studies who explained.
- [23:09]
A
Agree. So then out of that you didn't even know. Okay. You didn't even know that we were going to talk now? I didn't know it. But we're going to explore here because I think you have just shown a huge way for communities to really, really, really solve a lot of the issues that we face here. Like, so you just said what. What did the church do? It wrapped their arms around you and just loved on you and worked with you and mentored you and held you accountable for this. It's not asking too much, but it is. Then, then, so then you had a place that you belonged, a group of people that cared about you, okay. And that. That were part of your life and you wanted to grow. And then God, this thing, this God is even bigger and that you're going, wow, there's a greater thing out there than any one of us. And there's this God and then this God that created everything. But yet, even though I don't understand how and it makes no sense, cares about me individually along with every person in the world. And you're going, that can't be. Okay, so let me. We're going to go back.
- [24:38]
B
People in the street.
- [24:39]
A
Oh, yeah, I've met.
- [24:42]
B
Not one of them has been uneducated. No, not one of them. Every one of them is either a nurse, a theologian, a punctirious. Everybody out here has been hit upside down. They are incredible people. And they did not start there.
- [25:03]
A
Now. Agreed. Okay? So then out of that. And that's what we're gonna. So for people to know, okay. The stories that are here, there is not. And they're all very different. Okay? So like in it. So if you are out there and you say, man, I know what every homeless person is like, well, let me break something to you. You don't have a clue. Okay. Or if I said that on any group. I know what every insert group here is like, you're wrong. I cannot make blanket statements on anything here. The stories that we would share are all very different. All different type of people. Some unbelievably highly educated, all this and that. Okay?
- [25:53]
B
And so the Lord says, do not judge.
- [25:56]
A
Do not judge or you shall be judged yourself. Yeah.
- [25:59]
B
When I, you know, I never thought this would happen to me.
- [26:04]
A
Right?
- [26:05]
B
And.
- [26:07]
A
Or even this, like this thing on the positive, like, so out of this Wendy's Saint who does. And so if any of you are listening, you would go, wow, heard that sentence before. Because there's not been a person who has sat down here and we talk about life and how things occur and events that occur and decisions are made and this happens or that happens. But all of that, not one person has sat here and all the ones we've talked to and said, you know what, Jeff? When I was 5 years old and then on through high school, I thought, you know what I want to do? I want to figure out how at some point in my life I can live without a house and try to make it on the streets on my own. Has not been anybody's goal that I've met. I'm not going to say, okay, so if you were out there and that was your goal and you have succeeded, you might want to evaluate your goals would be my first thing. But I stand corrected. Most of the people would say the sentence. I'm not even sure how this happened, but it did. Okay, so we're going to backtrack on you just a bit because you said 2019, 29. Not the 2019 matters. That's not the backtrack. Okay? The backtrack is you said in 2019, your father passed away, and it. And it. And it hurts you badly, and we're not going to go back to that place, okay? And I'm not trying to. But then out of that, you did say something that I thought was tragically sad is you didn't want to live anymore, and you proactively tried to find ways to end your life. So that is a terribly dark place. And let me ask you. And he even said it, what in you. And you said the thing that was so difficult is you felt all alone. Okay.
- [28:08]
B
Then on suicide. For my solutions since I was 12.
- [28:14]
A
Yeah.
- [28:15]
B
This is the first time in my life, when I say God has healed me, I don't mean just my physical body.
- [28:21]
A
Okay?
- [28:22]
B
I have been. I have been. And anybody can look in my medical records. I have.
- [28:31]
A
We're not going to do that. Everybody out there in the audience, stay away from our medical record.
- [28:35]
B
Right. But I have been struggling with depression, suicide, and drugs all my life, since I was 12. Whatever reason, it doesn't matter.
- [28:49]
A
Yeah. Get fair.
- [28:49]
B
What I can tell you is today fair. I have since I left this place on the street. Okay? I have been out here. I have paid everything I had, worked all day, volunteered for two years and still end up back on the street. Bad things happen to good people. But not once have I went to pick up a drug drink. I can't even take medication. I don't take any medications at all. I carry ibuprofen, which I take very sparingly. I drink honestly 10 bottles minimum of water a day. But I drink 10 bottles minimum of water a day.
- [29:28]
A
You're tearing our environment up. Wendy. What are you doing?
- [29:32]
B
I walk.
- [29:33]
A
Okay.
- [29:33]
B
I have had. You know when it says in Romans about a transformation of renewal of your mind?
- [29:38]
A
Okay.
- [29:39]
B
That means I had a change. And. And. And the Lord. I didn't do that myself. That's what needs to be clear. You know, it says surrender. And. And if I don't tell you, this is serious. Okay, Okay. I didn't know what to do when God says, be still and know that I'm God.
- [29:56]
A
Okay?
- [29:57]
B
It's because God knows I don't have the answers. Everything I've been doing all these years has got me where I'm at. I don't know what to do. I don't no longer know how to get a job the way I did because the stroke has shooken. I tried to go back to school with all good intentions. I'm very capable. But I could not get the algebra to click the way.
- [30:19]
A
Oh, me too. I can't.
- [30:21]
B
I couldn't just because I'm capable. God has given me different skills that are way more extraordinary. But they're different ones.
- [30:31]
A
They're different.
- [30:32]
B
So what I used to do isn't what I do now. Okay. What I was great at. Okay. Is it more I'm great at now. Okay. I didn't have an identity. I was always ashamed. I was angry.
- [30:48]
A
God, what were you ashamed of?
- [30:50]
B
Who I was. Why notice I have a spot on my face from here?
- [30:53]
A
Well, I've noticed here.
- [30:55]
B
So I was seven years old. I fell in about a broken bottle. In a bottle. It broke and it cut my face.
- [31:04]
A
Did it really?
- [31:05]
B
And I was called Scarface.
- [31:07]
A
Oh my gosh.
- [31:09]
B
I was. We did. Let me just say. And I didn't know I am Jewish. My father did obviously tell me that for some reason I didn't know till now. I know, but he always said we're German and.
- [31:25]
A
Oh, okay.
- [31:26]
B
So. But then I come to find out all these things were happening to me and these in this neighborhood. Or there was nobody Jewish. There was nobody really even German. But there was some things going on. But let me say that you know how to respect myself.
- [31:45]
A
I think fair.
- [31:46]
B
So I Allowed myself to be mistreated. Number one. My father told me something I did not understand. Why to say every 12 year old girl out there that thinks they can run the parents house better than the parents if they just give you the wallet. Because you know better. Please stop that. Please beware. I did that and I end up doing a lot of stuff even worse.
- [32:13]
A
Yeah.
- [32:13]
B
So I had self hatred. I hate. I didn't. I didn't. You would have known it. Because I am the most social.
- [32:22]
A
No, agreed. Like so I'll tell you Wendy, like I'm not cutting you off, right. It breaks my heart. Okay. Like here. Because I've. I've only met this Wendy. Okay. So like the one that's here. I didn't. The thought of you define and then what you defining yourself. By what? The world. Oh, you're Scarface or you're this class of people because this is your heritage. And then you. You start believing these lies like then. But they're. They're told to you over and over and over. And so then we start looking at ourselves to go. It must be true because everybody else sees it. And you start believing it yourself. And then you start hating yourself going man, I'm no good. I'm this and I'm bad. And then we live in response of that very bad place. And it can be extremely. We use this word numerous times. Very lonely. And it can hurt really bad to be in these places where it could make it. And we would. Now we're going to come back to this place to today because we're going to talk to this window. But where it could make sense to a 12 year old girl to say, you know what? I don't want to be alive anymore. The other option is better than this one. And you go, I don't want this anymore. I'll be. And then maybe that didn't work out that way. And then the next alternative to that is well then I don't want to feel anything. Drugs and alcohol and self abuse in that way is the next best way. And I'm. Best is not a good word. It is the next way to deal with this self hatred. And then you cling to anything. But if I just don't feel anything, then I can't hurt. So you're going leave. That would be a terrible way. And then, so then we would come to what I would say. A lot of the people that I work with here and a lot of people I get to meet. The only commonality, the. The thing that I would say is very Common is most of the people that I come in contact with that are out here, they are very, very lonely and they have lived in lies of how they are to determine what their worth is. Their parents maybe did a certain not saying your parents but some their parents treated them in such a way that let them know, oh you're worthless. Or this relative or this person did sexual acts to them that were atrocious that let them know that you are dirty.
- [35:23]
B
I've had that done.
- [35:24]
A
Okay. I would bet money My point.
- [35:27]
B
I was very young, probably about five years old.
- [35:29]
A
Always.
- [35:29]
B
Yeah I had I and I really want to say this is my brother did to me and that came. I never even see my face. I didn't even know what color my eyes was.
- [35:46]
A
What are you talking about? Really? You didn't even look at yourself that way. And what's in like I will tell you this when like the other thing I'm learning for all your visitors, the people that are listening out there. Okay. If you listen to our stories, always, always the only common other thing is everybody. I'm. I'm not so sure. We're not at almost everybody. They will always say when I was five this occurred. Always the number five, always when I was five and it's a sexual abuse. My uncle did this to me, my brother did this to me, my foster dad did this to me. My insert relative or friend or family friend. And I couldn't tell anybody and I was ashamed. And then the. The perpetrator perpetrators. Justice is never really brought forth much in those cases. The person that was victimized, well a, they're young, they're little kids, they can't tell anybody. And then if you tell somebody they're like you can't tell anybody there or that's family business. Don't tell anybody our family business, whatever that means. And then the person, they have to live with that. And then you got this and the kids at 12 year old, that's junior high type age kids horribly, horribly, horribly mean people. And then they say oh whatever physical feature that they could find to pick, either you're tall or you're small or you're skinny or you're fat or you have a scar or you have one eye, that's this or you have an arm, that's whatever physical thing we can find and we're going to go, let's make fun of about that. And then you go and have to live in that. It's terribly lonely. And then the different battles that we have in this world of mental health and Finding wellness in that world. Because there's so many things that I'm not. Like, there's. We slap a whole bunch of medicine at some of the issues, which maybe that's right. In some circ. I'm not. I'm not a doctor, so I'm not prescribing anything, but I've seen some. That. That's not the rightest of answers. So all of that. Okay. So just. So we're at a positive place because we're not at a not positive place because like you said, everything that has.
- [38:16]
B
Occurred has been a blessing.
- [38:18]
A
It's been a blessing. And it got like. This is the crazy part, Wendy, like, ready? We are sitting here doing a pot. We're both old people. We're sitting here doing a.
- [38:30]
B
You're old. Okay. Yourself. But you're at. I probably feel about. Well, maybe not as young as I was, but I feel pretty young.
- [38:41]
A
You are very. You are very young. Like, so I will go on record. But we are sitting here doing a podcast. We're talking to the people all around the country about this. What in the world. If somebody when I was five years old said, jeff, you're going to do this in your life? And I said, not a chance. I don't even know what you're talking about because they didn't have such. Okay, so we're doing that and we're sitting here and you're going, that's really crazy. And all the people that were on your street that you're growing up in Philadelphia. Okay.
- [39:13]
B
In Philly.
- [39:14]
A
In Philly. And the Sixers are terrible. I'm going on the record, and I don't like the Eagles and I don't. I'm just.
- [39:22]
B
It's no better than the Cowboys. I'm just going to say I love the same. I am a Texan, but Cowboys are doing it too good. Okay.
- [39:32]
A
Cowboys aren't even. What in the world. The Cowboys have been. They have not showed up on a Sunday football game yet. But last night was a very. They played detections last night and it was a horrifically bad game. Horrifically bad. For the Cowboys. It is a absolute. They're very good high school team right now, but they happen to play in the NFL is the problem. So I want to. To.
- [40:08]
B
We're gonna took prayer off the fields, you know. Oh, well, maybe that's what's happening.
- [40:12]
A
Well, I. In. In. In it. It. At the end of the day, I find it hard to really care either way whether this group of multi, multi, multi millionaires got beat by this other group of multi, multi millionaires matters to me. Absolutely zero. We're probably looking at enough money sitting on that field at that particular moment that could have solved who knows what social issues. But they played a game and one of them really stinks at it. Oh yippee dippy, that was worth 150 million bucks, you know, or whatever.
- [40:47]
B
So I walk around outside and talk to people. Feel way better than if I sit watch the football game. I'm not any kind of sports fan no more. I'm not against them. And I'm not a pro anybody for anybody. I'm pro God. I am pro human, human. What do you call it? So get into humanity. Humanity, help humanity.
- [41:10]
A
That's.
- [41:11]
B
We have been going through a crisis. The whole world has been going through it. It's not a big secret. And my time sin I put my phone down. I don't do social media, I don't do all these things.
- [41:25]
A
You're doing a podcast, there's huge.
- [41:27]
B
But I don't wait say oh my goodness 100% because you know there are. You have. I have to allot time because I will stop doing my bible. I will stop people. I will stop volunteering to help other people help myself, shower, shave, whatever that is. Go to church, be talking to you, right? I wouldn't be talking to you but I probably stuck on the phone some video game.
- [41:52]
A
So ready, we're going to dial this one in right here at the end because we've talked about and anybody listening is going man, now that lady's not really sad. She's full of energy like you're go get. So let me ask you this, Wendy, okay? You've made quite a journey to get to this place here. We hadn't even touched the tip of the iceberg as you can see. But you have come to this place today. So I'm gonna just. You would say life is good or is life bad? Just simple.
- [42:24]
B
Life is wonderful.
- [42:25]
A
Okay, life is wonderful. And I'm going to ask you the follow up question with that. So Wendy would come to this place now. So I'm going to ask you this. We're going to come back to that one and then the next question. Is Wendy beautiful or is Wendy ugly?
- [42:41]
B
Now I love myself today.
- [42:43]
A
Okay, good. So tell me, tell me and what you would tell others and 100% that is an accurate description of Wendy. She is beautiful and she is.
- [42:57]
B
I must.
- [42:58]
A
That's it. That's right.
- [42:59]
B
I am above and no, I am the head. And I hate to say that, but this is what's got me. I'm a child of God.
- [43:06]
A
That's right.
- [43:07]
B
And there's nobody that I looked at isn't a child of God 100%. And my eyes being healthy means I can see that in everybody I look at. When I don't see that, then I do need to look at myself.
- [43:19]
A
That's right. So then out of it. What I love on that is I don't think people deserve worth. That's not the reason I think they need to be given worth. It's because God created them. And they are children of God. They are his and he thinks they are of worth. I can't say it enough times, Psalm 139, that we were intricately woven together in our mother's womb. And his good and pleasing thoughts. God's good and pleasing thoughts about me and about Wendy. They are innumerable. They are outnumbered the grains of sand. And so you look at that. And so then we would say people, they're worth. They're worth treating well. Not because of anything other than the fact that God deemed it so. And God said, these are my children and any. And then we can go theological. And he said, you know what? I love them so much that I don't ever want to be separated from them. And I'm going to send my son so they can have this eternity with me. So we got. Wendy's made this journey and she's now defined herself as. She is a beautiful child of God loved by him. And you are. And you are. And your eyes, you see the world as it should be, that people are good. And you would say life is not just. Yeah, it's tolerable, not bad. Life is wonderful. How in the world. And what would you tell anybody out there? Because I would say still your physical circumstances, you're not living in where you would like to be. Your permanent living situation.
- [45:06]
B
Right.
- [45:07]
A
Okay. That's right. So this is not where we would. Where Wendy's going to stay forever, in our opinion, like we would like to. You didn't win the lottery, so it's not like you got good join bucks. Okay. The physical circumstances of your life are not what the world would say. Oh, well, that's why she's happy, because she's got everything.
- [45:31]
B
But I don't have anything but God.
- [45:34]
A
Okay, tell me about that.
- [45:36]
B
God is my answer to everything. I have an attitude that says, you wake up in the morning and I'm. I wake up and I'm blessed and I have a choice. You know, everybody has a problem But God is everywhere. And I could choose to focus on my problem. I could choose to look at my blessings. And I see people everywhere reaching out. They are not giving me a home to live in, but they're giving me shampoo. I have somebody giving me food. I have a place. The Salvation army give me a place to sleep at night.
- [46:18]
A
Right?
- [46:19]
B
You know, I get up and look for somewhere I just got blessed today. Somebody else let me clean their house today, you know, not. But yeah, So I don't have everything, but I have an attitude of gratitude because I could be sick, sat or sorry, or I could be grateful, healthy, motivated. I don't. I get. That's how I get depressed when I focus on what I don't have, when I'm waiting for somebody else to fix my problem, when I'm saying, well, why is there somebody doing this for me? Well, you know, what if somebody is not doing something for me and I'm still able, you know, it's not my business what somebody else does. They don't owe me anything. If they give me or do something, I am so grateful, I have no reason to tell you. You have to have a heart for me or you have to give me your paycheck because I don't have it. Or the government is not doing enough because I'm sick. My attitude is what I have. I am grateful. I have the glory of God in my life. I have been healed, whole, redeemed. I have no reason whatsoever. I have health, strength. It has been a long journey. And I just really had some of the mental clarity. Wasn't a mental. It was from the stroke. So some of that was up. I had to stretch it. But God was like, I know this is hard. We're going to do this. Because that broke open the lie that I can only hold so much of my brain. Or the devil's telling you this. No, you can do. You know, my father. My father never. Because I'm a woman, but I was trained up. But my father was very military. There are certain things, attitudes he never discussed. My father never said, what is all your problems? My father said, okay, you have a crisis, so tell me what it is, and then we'll say what we shouldn't do. Stop. Don't tell me all the problems. Tell me what your crisis is. What right this moment do you need? So now I look at that, I say, okay, what do I need today? I have a place to sleep. I have a million people around me that are, you know, if. If I feel like I have an issue I can look at another person and see some other might have. It works.
- [48:54]
A
Oh, yeah, for sure.
- [48:55]
B
But my health comes from my attitude, my gratitude from the Lord's word, from just learning that I'm getting older and not overdoing it.
- [49:06]
A
Okay, good. Well, I will tell you, Wendy, and I hope everybody else out there too, if nothing else, we did not go way deep in your past. We got a pretty good glimpse. But I hope everybody got to see the energy and the positivity that you bring right now and everywhere you go. And it is much appreciated and the joy and the smile and it's really neat. So we met, we have a mutual friend who happened to win an election not too long ago.
- [49:43]
B
Hillary. Thank you, Mom.
- [49:48]
A
So, Hillary.
- [49:49]
B
Trw. Thank you, ladies.
- [49:51]
A
Yeah, so she, she worked for a campaign. And then out of that, the, the candidate reached out to us and said, got a friend named Wendy because. And she, she texted me even before we were able to help you, like two days. And then another one of our friends, Matthew, met you and he's in the political arena as well. And they said, hey, can we help Wendy? So that's how we met here. But I hope everybody out there sees and takes from this. It's. Life can be a choice and how we make it. And bad things are going to happen and difficult things are going to happen and good things are going to happen and things are going to happen. The thing that we can control is how we choose to respond to so much of these things. And so as simplistic as that sounds, and for us to understand also here in this world, a lot of what we, we face every day, there is a lot. And Wendy is now on the other side of it. But there is a lot of lonely, lonely people. And I'm gonna let you in on a simple surprise for everybody out there. Even if you're not walking down Feed My Sheep, if you're not on Avenue G, if you happen to be sitting at work right now, I promise you, you can look around and you will see a whole lot of hurting, sad people in the world right now. That's nothing negative on that. Then it's not. And then us included in that list. But that's not the world we have to live in. Okay? The world. And Christ came so that he died, so that we should have life and life abundantly and not so that we should have life and life miserably.
- [51:49]
B
Now, I sat here and I wanted to be politically correct because I've always.
- [51:53]
A
Been, we're going to stay. Oh, I don't know what is politically correct.
- [51:57]
B
That's why I'll tell you. The joke is you're.
- [51:59]
A
Oh, Nelly. I don't like to know how to.
- [52:00]
B
Speak, word to speak and when to be. And I always do that. And I never really laugh when I do that. You know, I wanted to sit here, just be, you know, be right. And this is one of the reasons Joy is left my life. People get offended because you don't agree and say the exact same things. We're all human beings. I find joy in life. I've never been afraid to speak. And I feel, you know, it's one thing to get on here and they'll probably say all the right words. I'm not intellectually the deficit of anything. Okay. But I didn't want to pretend I wanted to. I was scheduled to do that.
- [52:52]
A
Okay.
- [52:53]
B
But in reality, life is not always politically correct. And, you know.
- [53:02]
A
We will agree on this one. Okay. Like, well, we don't disagree. Okay. So I'm saying what we would agree on, and I would wish the world. I wish it would come to this place. We would say that all people matter.
- [53:20]
B
Right?
- [53:20]
A
That's it. Okay. So I'm not. And. And I don't claim to understand everything, but I would say people are of worth and they deserve to be treated with dignity. And if there's a simple question of trying to figure out if somebody is worth treating that way, you just ask the one question. Are they a person? Are they human being? Well, yeah. Don't put a but in it. Well, yeah, but. But no. Are they a human being? Then they deserve to be treated with dignity and they deserve to be treated decent. Okay. And so we got a little bit off on the world can in that, and we make it more confusing, but on the stuff, we can treat people well. And then more importantly, not more importantly is if you're out there to realize the life that Wendy's had has been a journey, and there's been some very difficult chapters of the life. We're still not even in the most wonderful chapter. But her mind and her heart and everything is in the right place, and it's focusing on God. And we're glad about that. We're glad to get to spend some time with you, Wendy. You made me laugh, even though you talked bad about the Cowboys.
- [54:39]
B
Thank you.
- [54:40]
A
Yeah. And that made Bobby mad. Did you see him get all mad over there?
- [54:45]
B
You know, just treat others as you.
- [54:47]
A
Wouldn'T be, even Cowboy fans, no. Philadelphia Eagle fans. I'll treat you decent, you know, because you're a human being.
- [54:55]
B
You know what?
- [54:56]
A
Huh?
- [54:57]
B
What team I like has nothing to do what's in my heart.
- [55:00]
A
I agree.
- [55:01]
B
And if I treat you the way I want to be treated, I bet you we both end up having a good.
- [55:06]
A
I bet. So give me five. Wendy, we did this thing. Amen, Lord.
- [55:10]
B
Thank you.
- [55:11]
A
Thank you.
- [55:12]
B
Okay.
- [55:12]
A
And I hope you'll have a great day out there. And we thank you for listening to another Collage podcast. And I encourage you, if you're ever out and about and you want to come see what's going on in Temple, Texas, I encourage you to do it. But I also would tell you the things we talk about here. I don't care where you're sitting at listening to this, okay? You can do the same things where you are there. Love people and love them well and treat people with dignity. I don't even care where you're at, okay? It's that simple. And then I would put you who's listening to this included in that list who deserves to be treated well and to be loved well, you are a person and you matter also. So don't forget that little truth and all of it. Appreciate it, and I hope you all have a great day. Thank you for listening to this episode of the Collage Podcast, a production of Redcord Media. For more information on this and other podcasts, please visit redcord media.org.