Episode 61- Tina

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Collage Podcast - Episode 61: Tina

Introduction and Background

In Episode 61 of The Collage Podcast, hosted by Jeff from Feed My Sheep in Temple, Texas, the spotlight shines on Tina Spillers—a resilient woman navigating the complexities of life on the streets. Released on February 5, 2025, this episode delves deep into Tina’s personal journey, her struggles, and her unwavering hope for the future.

Life in the Community: Temple and Davila

Tina introduces herself as a 42-year-old mother of six, originally from Austin, Texas, and raised in Milam County. She shares insights about the rural community of Temple and the nearby ghost town of Davila, where her mother resides and three of her children currently stay. Jeff remarks, “[00:47] Tina Spillers: Hello, everybody. My name is Tina Spillers. I'm originally from Austin, Texas. Raised in Milam County. I'm 42 years old, a mama, six. And two youngins on the way.”

Incarceration and Family Support

Tina opens up about her past experiences with incarceration, highlighting the steadfast support from her family during her time in prison. She states, “[04:24] Tina Spillers: In prison, y'all were still my family, were there for me.” This period was pivotal in shaping her perspective on family and resilience.

Life on the Streets

Transitioning from her time in prison, Tina discusses her life on the streets with a focus on dignity and self-respect. “[05:00] Tina Spillers: I've heard a lot of people always thought that I was never homeless when I was on the streets because I always carried myself with respect, always dressed pretty and nice with nice stuff.” Tina emphasizes her choice to maintain her appearance as a means of preserving her identity amidst adversity.

Safety and Challenges

A significant portion of the conversation centers on the dangers Tina faces while living without a stable home. “[07:15] Jeff: What is the hardest part of being outside on the street? [07:28] Tina Spillers: Being aware of your surroundings.” Tina elaborates on the constant vigilance required to protect herself from potential threats and theft, asserting, “[08:29] Tina Spillers: And they know what they can't. That we can say no and no means no.”

The Fentanyl Crisis

Tina brings attention to the rampant issue of fentanyl addiction, sharing her harrowing encounter with the drug. “[23:09] Tina Spillers: They found me face down. It was face down. He gave me fentanyl. I was fight. Face down.” She warns listeners about the pervasive presence of fentanyl in various substances, stating, “[24:26] Tina Spillers: Anything [has] fentanyl in it.” Her testimony underscores the urgent need for awareness and intervention in the battle against opioid addiction.

Personal Struggles and Recovery

Tina candidly discusses her battle with addiction, revealing her journey towards recovery. “[26:12] Tina Spillers: I beat that addiction. I don't even want it.” Her determination to overcome addiction serves as an inspiring testament to personal strength and the possibility of change.

Hope and Vision for the Future

Looking ahead, Tina shares her aspirations to secure stable housing and reunite with her children. “[29:21] Tina Spillers: Where have a house. I'm gonna have my own vehicle out in the country.” She envisions a future where she can provide a safe and nurturing environment for her family, stating, “[34:17] Jeff: And that's beautiful.”

The Role of Community Support

A recurring theme throughout the episode is the importance of community support and collective action. Tina emphasizes, “[38:07] Jeff: And because like here, I will say I can't do anything about Austin, but I know Temple. We can make a difference here.” The conversation highlights the potential impact of unified efforts in addressing homelessness and addiction within the local community.

Conclusion

Episode 61 of The Collage Podcast offers a poignant glimpse into Tina Spillers' life, illuminating the harsh realities of homelessness and addiction while simultaneously conveying a message of hope and resilience. Tina’s story is a compelling call to action for listeners to recognize the humanity in every individual and to contribute to meaningful change within their communities. As Jeff eloquently concludes, “[46:57] Tina Spillers: Speak. Because we all matter.” This episode underscores that every person deserves love, support, and the opportunity to rebuild their lives.

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Notable Quotes:

• Tina Spillers [07:33]: "There are people out there just lurking to find something that you have that they want."
• Jeff [08:36]: "That's right. And they are yours and yours alone. They’re going to try to take just because they think they can."
• Tina Spillers [23:25]: "Please do not. Do not. Do not use that stuff. Do not use anything that has any kind of fentanyl."
• Jeff [34:03]: "And like that, like a hope and a belief of what could be and then what's going to be."

This structured and detailed summary captures the essence of Episode 61, providing readers with a comprehensive understanding of the discussions, insights, and emotional depth shared by Tina and Jeff.

Transcript

[Jeff]

Foreign to the Collage Podcast. And thank you for making us a part of your day. If you enjoy the podcast, please like, rate and subscribe. Hey, we want to welcome everybody to another edition of the Collage Podcast. We are excited to be here today. Hope you're having a wonderful day. Your day is fixing to get better because we have a guest here today that's going to introduce herself. That is going to be an intriguing discussion. So I'm looking forward to this. So, Tina, introduce yourself to the world out there.

[Tina Spillers]

Hello, everybody. My name is Tina Spillers. I'm originally from Austin, Texas. Raised in Milam County. I'm 42 years old, a mama, six.

[Jeff]

Good gracious.

[Tina Spillers]

And two youngins on the way. So we have about a month and three weeks left.

[Jeff]

Okay.

[Tina Spillers]

And these two little boys will be here.

[Jeff]

Okay. Okay. So I. It took. You know what? For a long time here, I did not realize that you and I won't say another person's name because they're not in the room. Okay. But you and another one of our people. I realized y'all had the same last name.

[Tina Spillers]

Yeah.

[Jeff]

Okay. I didn't know that. And so I'm like, what do you know? So you have six children?

[Tina Spillers]

Six children.

[Jeff]

Okay, and the names of your children?

[Tina Spillers]

Jasmine, Kelsey, Hilliard, Isaiah, Eva and Josiah.

[Jeff]

There we go. Okay, and the age span would be.

[Tina Spillers]

Well, we're from 22 to 1 year old.

[Jeff]

Okay. I'm gonna have to say the old man's. You do know how this keeps occurring, correct?

[Tina Spillers]

Yes, sir, I do. More. More TV than anything else.

[Jeff]

Okay, so we have six children. And then we're out. And you're from Milam County. And so in all y'all out there, that is. We are from a little place called Temple, Texas. So that's in Bell County. So, like with county association. So that's a little. An area east of Temple.

[Tina Spillers]

Yes, sir.

[Jeff]

It's rural. Like, lack of a better term. It's a rural community. Smaller than Temple. It's like Temple Small, but like Cameron and Davila and all these places.

[Tina Spillers]

Yes. Davila is a little spot in the road.

[Jeff]

It is ghost town, but it is like a ghost town.

[Tina Spillers]

Yeah, that's where my mom lives.

[Jeff]

Really? Okay. So there's.

[Tina Spillers]

That's where three of my children are right now.

[Jeff]

Well, then I pass by your children because I go hunting out in Davila. So, like the downtown area.

[Tina Spillers]

Yes, down.

[Jeff]

That looks like it was going to be something sometime right there.

[Tina Spillers]

When you come in from Rogers.

[Jeff]

That's right.

[Tina Spillers]

And you make a left you make a right and you go down County Road 4.

[Jeff]

Oh, that's right.

[Tina Spillers]

Like, to the campground. It used to be a campground down there.

[Jeff]

And what's the. Okay, ready? What's the name of the lake out there? Huh?

[Tina Spillers]

It used to be. It used to be the camping fish ground. That's right there.

[Jeff]

You paid money back there. But that is.

[Tina Spillers]

But then you have one further on down and around.

[Jeff]

That's right. And then that one is Steagall Lake.

[Tina Spillers]

Oh, that is Steagall Lake.

[Jeff]

That's my last name.

[Tina Spillers]

I didn't ever know that.

[Jeff]

That's my last name. So that place out kin is the.

[Tina Spillers]

One in San Gabriel.

[Jeff]

No, I wish I'm Mr. Seagull. No, I wish I'm. I am related to none of these. But everybody would ask me out there because I'd go hunt. And they're, man, you own that place out there? And I'm like, nope.

[Tina Spillers]

He used to run a little grocery store in San Gabriel.

[Jeff]

That's right, Mr. Seagull. That's right. Okay.

[Tina Spillers]

We lived right next door to it. Well, so when I was a kid growing up.

[Jeff]

So we're practically related, but not at all. Right, so from that, we're about to say I'm. Well, no, I'm not. That's an insult. I am older than you. Okay, so we're not going to insult you. Say we're about the same age, and you and I have known each other for a lot of years. Okay, so we would just say a lot of years up here. Right. And it's fair to say. Let's just say this. There's been some chapters that I've known you that you've had a house and some chapters that you don't have. And sometimes we're in between of that.

[Tina Spillers]

In. In between the position in between even the time periods where I was incarcerated, okay. And in prison, y'all were still my family, were there for me.

[Jeff]

That's right. So, like that. And we would. Look, we've been through a lot of different junctures of that. We've gone through this and that actually, like that. That's part of your story. It's an interesting part because a lot of people who are listening to this, they don't even comprehend that somebody could be living outside, like.

[Tina Spillers]

And, well, you know, back in. I've heard this from a lot of people. They always thought that I was never homeless when I was homeless and out here on the streets because I always carried myself with respect, always dressed pretty and nice with nice stuff. Okay. It Always become. Because someone donated it to me.

[Jeff]

Okay.

[Tina Spillers]

So I made myself be a lady and not like some other ones out here. I'm not going to.

[Jeff]

No, we're not. We're not going to say names, but.

[Tina Spillers]

Other ones out on the streets. It's a choice, you know, it's the choice we make.

[Jeff]

Yeah.

[Tina Spillers]

You know, and my choice is I want to look appropriate. I want to look like a lady.

[Jeff]

Okay. Now until, like, in it. And we're probably going to stay in this area for a little bit because you've said a whole lot in the last couple of sentences. One is you just said, like, whether we understand it or not, even we saw on Saturday at a service.

[Tina Spillers]

That's right.

[Jeff]

Family is everything. And it's everything. And it can look very different.

[Tina Spillers]

Yeah.

[Jeff]

Okay. So then when we would say, hey, Tina and I, man, we're related somehow.

[Tina Spillers]

But we're family in God's eye.

[Jeff]

That's right. Okay. So then we would go, wow, family and belonging. And so like here, what we try to do is we're not the answer to everything. But what we can do is if Tina walks through this door and she can hold me accountable to this, and if she sees me and I see her, if I ever overlook her and do not speak to her, she's going to call me out on it. This. Yeah, this is. This is family.

[Tina Spillers]

Yep.

[Jeff]

That's what we do.

[Tina Spillers]

That's right.

[Jeff]

I can be happy with my daughter at some times, I can be mad at her. But no matter what, something doesn't change. Is at the end of the day, she's part of our family.

[Tina Spillers]

That's right.

[Jeff]

And we take care of each other as best we can.

[Tina Spillers]

That's the love.

[Jeff]

That's love.

[Tina Spillers]

That's love that's right here.

[Jeff]

Okay. And so, like, that is what we've been through. So I got to ask you, because you're here, okay. Somebody out there is going to be sitting there going, oh, my gosh. Tell me, being on the street, you don't have a place, like, even right now. It's cold.

[Tina Spillers]

Yeah.

[Jeff]

Okay. It's. It's plenty. Let's just say it's plenty cold. Okay. What is the hardest part of being outside on the street? Let's say spending the night. Tell me what is the hardest part.

[Tina Spillers]

Is being the aware of your surroundings. Number one thing is.

[Jeff]

What does that mean?

[Tina Spillers]

What I mean is, there's people out there just lurking to find something that you have that they want.

[Jeff]

Yeah.

[Tina Spillers]

You know, and as a woman.

[Jeff]

And.

[Tina Spillers]

They want to take what they can't have.

[Jeff]

Okay, fair. And then so in that. So we're going to go. Which is. Golly, I'm. Okay, you just said it. Okay. So then in. In every lady that we have brought in here, the first sentence they have said right off the bat are like, what's hard about being outside? You got to be really hyper aware of your surroundings. And those that are going to come take things, like, so then things, but then also take advantage of a situation. There's things that are not theirs at all.

[Tina Spillers]

That's right.

[Jeff]

That they are yours and yours alone.

[Tina Spillers]

That's right.

[Jeff]

That they're going to try to take just because they think they can. That's right.

[Tina Spillers]

And then they know what they can't. That we can say no and no means no.

[Jeff]

That's right. And then here. Not saying that you got. In this world or any of that stuff, but then there's also people who have a little bit that come by and think because they got a little bit of money, they can offer a little bit of money because they see you outside on the street and hey, I'll give you a little bit of cash, maybe a hotel room and all it cost you is this. All you got to do is this. And you get a hotel room and you got to do this. So that occurs. Correct. Okay. And we're not even insinuating that you've done any of that. Okay. But just because some people, believe it or not, that are listening to this, they don't even really comprehend what goes on, like, for a lady to have to survive outside. And we're technically.

[Tina Spillers]

Right now, and I'm speaking out right now, even though it might be cold. These last. This last week, I was out there in that tent sleeping. I didn't feel secure at a warmer, the warmest shelter over at a church, you know, So I felt safe where I was in that tent because I know I could lock that tent up. I locked that tent up on the inside and I felt safe.

[Jeff]

How important is that? And that's a dumb question, but how?

[Tina Spillers]

It's important. Yeah, it's important because you know, when you have people out there that making you feel insecure, that you. You got to watch every move you make and everything, and they might be making threats to you or something like that. It's concerning, as it should be, because that's a life. That's someone's daughter, that's someone's son, whatever. That's a life. They all matter.

[Jeff]

Agreed. Like, we got it. Like, that's the real. The reason we Even do these discussions is a. A little bit of awareness of, man. This is. We're just talking about Temple Texas, right? This is not from. No offense, this is not Los Angeles. This is not New York. This is little bitty Temple Texas. And to let people who are listening to this, if this is going on and guess what? Tonight there's going to be people sleeping outside. Yeah, it's going to rain tonight. There's 65% chance of rain in this town. It's going to be 41 degrees. So not cold enough to open up a warming shelter. But then you got this factory go. Hey, some of the ladies don't feel safe in the only options we have when it gets cold enough because you can. That things have happened that would make you feel reason to go. I'm not really safe.

[Tina Spillers]

That's right.

[Jeff]

Okay. And so that's not negative on anything because perception is reality. If you don't feel safe, well, you're not safe. Right. So like that. So it's nothing negative. And then because you could argue, golly, you're safe. Okay, we're outside. Okay. You have to be hyper aware of what's going on around you.

[Tina Spillers]

Correct.

[Jeff]

Sounds and things and people thinks.

[Tina Spillers]

You know, I listen to a lot of things, you know, because I know different sounds. Because from the past relationship that I'd been into.

[Jeff]

That's right.

[Tina Spillers]

I had to learn different sounds to what's coming up to me in the dark. I know what to expect.

[Jeff]

So what does it feel like when you know the steps that you hear or the voices that you hear is fixing to be bad? What does that feel like?

[Tina Spillers]

Terrifies me. It terrifies me. Honestly, it terrifies me. But then I know I have the phone right here.

[Jeff]

Okay.

[Tina Spillers]

I've got a can of Ace right here. Because I'm a spray and I'm that spray there before.

[Jeff]

Yeah.

[Tina Spillers]

And then I'm calling 911 as I'm doing it.

[Jeff]

Okay. So. And we're. This is obvious. So anybody out there listening? Okay. You would go, how easy is it to. Like when you go to bed, you're like, ah, okay, good. This is so relaxing. I'm gonna sleep like eight. Or.

[Tina Spillers]

Not that easy.

[Jeff]

It's not.

[Tina Spillers]

It takes me about an hour and a half where I can pass out and go to sleep.

[Jeff]

And I would say then being unhoused or without a home, is night the hardest time or is the daytime the hardest time?

[Tina Spillers]

No, the nighttime is the hardest.

[Jeff]

It's the hardest. Now why is that?

[Tina Spillers]

Because there's predators lurk in the Dark.

[Jeff]

That's right.

[Tina Spillers]

Predators lurk in the dark.

[Jeff]

That's it.

[Tina Spillers]

Dark during the day. Usually I'd sleep during the day most of the time.

[Jeff]

Okay, good. So then we're going to talk about that. So I see here a lot of the schedules are okay. No different. If I am a shift worker and I work at Wilson Art, which is a plant we have, and I work the. A third shift, I work all through the night, I stay awake. Guess what I do during the day?

[Tina Spillers]

You sleep.

[Jeff]

Okay, that's right. So then people would. And you. And so then I would go home. Nobody's going to say, ah, look at Jeff. Sleeps all day. He don't do nothing. No, they'd go, that's right, you're up all night. That's right, you got to sleep. So then people can make a inappropriate assumption. So like if somebody drove by here and saw somebody sleeping kind of out in the open. Okay. I don't think in a civilized society that any human being should have to sleep on the concrete. That's a whole other discussion. But somebody could drive by and see somebody sleeping outside on the sidewalk during the day and go, ah, look at how lazy they are. They don't do nothing. And all of these stupid sentences.

[Tina Spillers]

Well, they, they're feeling. Understand? It's so hard, especially in like my. It's so hard sometimes for me to sleep at night because all of my PTSD comes from things that happen in the dark and everything. So, yeah, I'm up during the night, I sleep a few hours here and there, wake up. Then it takes me a minute to go back to sleep and then I sleep a few more hours. And of course, where I stay, I stay in a backyard in the tent. But she wakes me up at a certain time so I can be brought up here at a certain time so I can get breakfast and stuff like that.

[Jeff]

Yeah. And let me ask you like this, I gotta ask just out of my own curiosity, to stay in the back of somebody's yard, do you have to pay any money? Do they charge you nothing? Okay, no electricity. But you just get to stay back.

[Tina Spillers]

This has been my, my best friend since I got out of prison and everything. So you know what? They let me run a stench of cord just so I could charge my phone up or to watch the TV on the tablet, you know, or something like that. I'm very grateful by them.

[Jeff]

Okay, so we kind of got that. So that's here. I mean, like, for people to understand outside at night for a lady, is difficult here. It's It's. It's mine. I always say it's like it's hunting 101. You have predators and you have prey.

[Tina Spillers]

Yeah.

[Jeff]

That is occurring. And like in Africa, the animals, what do they do? They go to wide open spaces where they can see for a long ways and they can see when the dangers come in and they can get away. So here, same thing. So if somebody's outside in the middle of the wide open. It's in the middle of the wide open, you can see danger coming.

[Tina Spillers]

Right.

[Jeff]

So then this life that is. And even during the day, okay. Even at all the places that are trying to help or this or that, you still have to be hyper aware.

[Tina Spillers]

And be aware of your surroundings.

[Jeff]

That's right. Because there's always somebody who's either.

[Tina Spillers]

There's always someone lurking.

[Jeff]

That's right. There's always somebody lurking no matter where you go. Okay.

[Tina Spillers]

You call day or night doesn't matter.

[Jeff]

That's right.

[Tina Spillers]

But mostly at night.

[Jeff]

Mostly at night because that. But during the day, we watch it as well. There's always. In this world, there's people that are over here, there, but they're selling product that's not good for you Case. They're trying to make. There's guys that are trying to. Always trying to get what is not theirs.

[Tina Spillers]

That's right.

[Jeff]

And so they're going to trade for this or that. Not good. There's people, if you set. Like whatever people that would be Tina's friends, if she would have left her stuff sitting outside right now. It is gone.

[Tina Spillers]

It's gone.

[Jeff]

It's gone. Like somebody would steal it in a millisecond and probably be somebody that she knows that would call her a friend. Mm. Okay. It's gone. They're gonna steal it just for stealing.

[Tina Spillers]

That's not my friend. I just learned that here, here recently that you know what? There were people out there saying that they were my friends, but really and truthfully, they wouldn't. My friends. But you know what? The good Lord opened my eyes and showed me the true facts of them. That I don't need them in my life, that I set them boundaries and I move them away.

[Jeff]

I agree. So for everybody out there and us in here sitting here, okay. It is fair to say. And this is not a negative sentence. This is a very difficult life.

[Tina Spillers]

Yes, it is.

[Jeff]

Okay.

[Tina Spillers]

I wouldn't wish this on nobody.

[Jeff]

Okay.

[Tina Spillers]

Nobody.

[Jeff]

Fair. Fair. And it is. It is tough. And so let. And I. This is sarcasm. So I'm. I'm. I'm not at you. Okay. So I'm just saying, is this something like when you were a little girl, you were sitting around, man, I hope someday I could live where I'm worried at night about what's going to come, and I don't have a safe place to stay, and I don't. That's what you wished for, right, when you were a little kid. No, no, no. Okay. And the thing that we all long for, no matter where we're at in our place, is we want to know we're cared for. We want to know that we're loved, that we're protected. That's it.

[Tina Spillers]

Love and protective.

[Jeff]

It don't. If you're listening to this and you are at Feed my sheep, I guarantee you're saying the same sentence. If you are in, I don't care what neighborhood, you are in temple, and you're sitting there and you go, oh, my gosh, I know what it feels like to be alone, and I want to be safe. And there's times even in that neighborhood that as a lady, you can go, oh, my gosh.

[Tina Spillers]

I even try to emphasize to some of these youngins that come out here that. That are still just young. Try to emphasize this ain't the road that they want.

[Jeff]

It is not.

[Tina Spillers]

This is not the road for them that they need to change their life.

[Jeff]

Agreed? Agreed. Like that.

[Tina Spillers]

My son, my oldest son, thought he was going to go down that road, and then he opened his eyes. He's going to graduate this year.

[Jeff]

Nice.

[Tina Spillers]

From Bartlett High School. He's going into the Air Force, actually. He leaves in April for basics.

[Jeff]

Does Bartlett actually have schools?

[Tina Spillers]

Yes, that's where I graduated from.

[Jeff]

Then I better back up. Yeah, like that. That's good. That's got to make it.

[Tina Spillers]

He opened his eyes and he says, no, that ain't the life that I want live now.

[Jeff]

It is. It is not.

[Tina Spillers]

He thought he could rip and run the roads.

[Jeff]

That's right.

[Tina Spillers]

He got up here and got up here two weeks and got out here on this road. You. You're gonna learn really quick.

[Jeff]

It ain't good.

[Tina Spillers]

He went right back home to our mamas.

[Jeff]

He's big old boy. Yeah.

[Tina Spillers]

And he graduated. He graduates this year from Bartlett High School. He's a senior. I'm a proud mama and everything, and.

[Jeff]

I'm sitting here dumb. Okay. I'm trying to remember. Don't say the name out loud. He was in love with somebody up here. I forgot who. I'm trying to remember that because I remember. He big old boy.

[Tina Spillers]

Little short, little girl.

[Jeff]

After the podcast, you're going to. Because I remember that. Like, I'm like, dude, it'll come to me. It'll come. I remember that.

[Tina Spillers]

Well, I'm happy for him, but I'm very proud. Mom of it.

[Jeff]

Yeah, okay.

[Tina Spillers]

He's going to. It's going to be in the Air Force. And I'm so proud.

[Jeff]

And like, that opportunity.

[Tina Spillers]

That's why I speak to a lot of these young children out here. You know, they're like. Like, I'm going to say children.

[Jeff]

They're children, but they're young adults.

[Tina Spillers]

You know what I mean? But in my eyes, they're children still.

[Jeff]

Yeah. And they think, oh, man, I'm gonna go party. We're gonna smoke this. We're gonna do this.

[Tina Spillers]

Going out here and smoking this. Or they're gonna drink it up. Or, you know, we're gonna have. Go over here and have a good time with all these girls. Hold up. Stop them. It's not going to get you nowhere.

[Jeff]

Good now. And for some reason I don't understand this is. All of those have an inability to. Because here you got the benefit. You can look down the road a little bit and go, huh, wow. That could happen. This is what this is. Five years on this road. And then unfortunately, what they're not getting or note, like the world.

[Tina Spillers]

That's right.

[Jeff]

Is changed a whole lot in the unhoused. In that people die.

[Tina Spillers]

That's right.

[Jeff]

And they die often.

[Tina Spillers]

Now, I've lost quite a few friends here lately.

[Jeff]

Think about that. Like, so.

[Tina Spillers]

From being homeless.

[Jeff]

That's right. And so like.

[Tina Spillers]

And a couple of these friends actually kind of watched over me and looked over me while I was out here.

[Jeff]

Like next Wednesday here. Whenever you listen to. It doesn't matter. Okay. So next Wednesday. Okay. Tina will appreciate this. Not. We're going to do a remembrance of life. Three people at one time. Three. So accident, horrific medical death and overdose. Fentanyl. Fentanyl. Somebody gave her a. I guess in the. A hot shot. And she's dead.

[Tina Spillers]

Yep. Trust me. Because I. If you didn't. Didn't remember here a while back. Happened to me down there in that park.

[Jeff]

I didn't know that.

[Tina Spillers]

They found me face down. It was face down. He gave me fentanyl. I was fight. Face down.

[Jeff]

Okay? This stuff, like, we cannot.

[Tina Spillers]

It is not a game. It is not anybody. Fentanyl is not a game, y'all.

[Jeff]

It don't play.

[Tina Spillers]

Please do not. Do not. Do not use that stuff. Do not use anything that has any kind of fentanyl. And now they're Putting it in it every and more every day.

[Jeff]

You know what? I.

[Tina Spillers]

They might put it in the marijuana. K2 eyes, anything like that.

[Jeff]

They would say, y'all, it is not. They would tell me the. Some of the experts, I would disagree. The experts in this world, they're on the street. But these are the experts that get paid a lot of money by the state to. To lead. Okay? They would say right now, percentage wise, almost. Almost all product now has some trait of fentanyl in it because of the delivery system that it has to the brain. It makes it. Whether. Whatever. Like, so back in the day, people, oh, I'm just going to smoke weed. I'm not. Whatever. All the young ones are going, oh, that's not going to. It is in everything.

[Tina Spillers]

Yes, it's in everything.

[Jeff]

Okay.

[Tina Spillers]

Anything.

[Jeff]

And it's. And it. It's grip. It don't play.

[Tina Spillers]

And that's the thing that I found out once this happened to me that I'm allergic to fentanyl.

[Jeff]

Lucky you.

[Tina Spillers]

So. So, so that's what basically hit me quicker than anything is because it was put in a pill form for me, okay. And given to me. And one of these, they take these clear capsules that they. Vitamins. You get the vitamin in the clear one, they take it, they dump that vitamin out and they put. Put something else in it.

[Jeff]

Okay.

[Tina Spillers]

That's how it was given to me.

[Jeff]

Really, to just like, to just. So I have an understanding of economics. So like a pill of that. How much does that cost? Hundreds of dollars.

[Tina Spillers]

It can.

[Jeff]

It gets expensive.

[Tina Spillers]

It can.

[Jeff]

Yeah. And then we won't go to how people get money to. But this stuff is not free.

[Tina Spillers]

No. People get money however they know how to get it.

[Jeff]

That's right.

[Tina Spillers]

They going to either go out there, they gonna beg for it, they're. That they're going to steal for it or they're going to sell something.

[Jeff]

But that's right.

[Tina Spillers]

Point blank.

[Jeff]

No, that's fact. Male or female.

[Tina Spillers]

That's right.

[Jeff]

Okay. I mean, so like that. And then once it gets a hold of people, they're going to find the money.

[Tina Spillers]

Yeah.

[Jeff]

Because they need an addiction. It is a bad addiction.

[Tina Spillers]

A bad addiction. And you know, I did have an addiction at once, so I know how that addiction is. You do whatever you got to to get it.

[Jeff]

That's right.

[Tina Spillers]

But I beat that addiction.

[Jeff]

Okay.

[Tina Spillers]

I don't even want it.

[Jeff]

No.

[Tina Spillers]

I don't want none of it.

[Jeff]

Yeah.

[Tina Spillers]

I don't want nobody associated with it.

[Jeff]

Because the true cost of it, it's killing us. That's Right. It's not the dollars that you have to.

[Tina Spillers]

Killing us each and every day.

[Jeff]

That's right.

[Tina Spillers]

And killing our friends, our loved ones and everything.

[Jeff]

It is. We cannot. We cannot understate that. It is. It is absolutely at this juncture, because we know in the drug world, okay, there's going to be something a year from now that's going to make this look like absolutely child's play, because we didn't even know fentanyl was even something that was going to come. And so you're going now we're talking about that. Because it is that bad.

[Tina Spillers]

Yeah.

[Jeff]

Meth is that bad. I mean, but fentanyl is. It's changed.

[Tina Spillers]

It's the worst.

[Jeff]

It's. It is. And then here, a lot of our people, when they pass away, a lot of times there's not an autopsy because there's no money in it. So, like here, heart failure. Okay. The heart just stopped going. Everything slows down so much. And they just go, you know. And they rather. Were smoking over here. Had a heart attack. No, the. They. Everything stopped. And the number. Oh, my gosh. That we've had in this little town in the.

[Tina Spillers]

It's growing and growing and growing.

[Jeff]

It's stupid. Like, it's stupid.

[Tina Spillers]

It's grown and grown, growing. And I pray each and every day.

[Jeff]

Yeah.

[Tina Spillers]

For everybody out on the street.

[Jeff]

Oh, for sure. Like that. It's. It's. It's ludicrous. So then out there, people, hey, so dangerous. It's so dangerous. It's so dangerous. And like that. And people just to hear, maybe to go. I hate to break it. To Temple, Texas. It is occurring here.

[Tina Spillers]

Yes, it is.

[Jeff]

Okay. Like, we like to. I grew up in this little town and we like to pretend.

[Tina Spillers]

Yep.

[Jeff]

That everything that's occurring in every other place like these. Oh, that's only occurring in Los Angeles, New York or whatever, or Houston, Austin.

[Tina Spillers]

Here.

[Jeff]

It's here. Okay. And that's not a negative sentence on anything other than it's just a fact. And it is killing people. Okay.

[Tina Spillers]

There's someone passing away each and every day. Each and every day from this.

[Jeff]

Around in this area. There's a lot. So. Okay, we got that. So Tina has been in this world a lot of years. Like, you've survived a lot of years.

[Tina Spillers]

I've been through the storm.

[Jeff]

She'd been through the storm. Okay. We ain't quite at the rainbow yet. Yeah.

[Tina Spillers]

We making it there. We're making it.

[Jeff]

They're making it. So let me ask. Okay. So if I was asking. So even though we can't say for certain because I can't tell you anything. I can't tell you about tomorrow because I'm not guaranteed tomorrow.

[Tina Spillers]

Right.

[Jeff]

Tell me about. Give me a vision of Tina three years from now. Tell me about Tina three years from today.

[Tina Spillers]

Where have a house.

[Jeff]

Okay.

[Tina Spillers]

I'm gonna have my own vehicle on some out in the country.

[Jeff]

Oh, you gonna move back out to Milam County?

[Tina Spillers]

I thought somewhere else, but out in the country.

[Jeff]

That's right.

[Tina Spillers]

But thinking about back towards Kingsland and all of that, towards Llano and back that way.

[Jeff]

Very beautiful.

[Tina Spillers]

That's when my grandmother was born in Burnett.

[Jeff]

Oh, nice.

[Tina Spillers]

I'd like to try to take it somewhere back that way because I feel more. More with peace with her because I know she's right in that area with her spirit and everything.

[Jeff]

Okay.

[Tina Spillers]

Because this marks. It marks 10 years for her this year. February 16th. This marks 10 years for her death.

[Jeff]

Wow.

[Tina Spillers]

So. And everything. And that woman was a great part of my life. When I lost that woman, I went into my addiction.

[Jeff]

Did you really?

[Tina Spillers]

So that's where I started my addiction is when I lost her.

[Jeff]

So you've been struggling in this world 10 plus years. I was going to say that. I was going to say 10, 11 years. I was trying to think in my head I'd maybe even go a little bit further. But 10 years B. I fell.

[Tina Spillers]

I just fell off that rocker.

[Jeff]

Did you?

[Tina Spillers]

Because that woman raised me from three days old till the day I turned 18 and got married. But she was still always there.

[Jeff]

Why in the world would you get married at 18? Good. Grace. I'm not saying that. Don't tell me that.

[Tina Spillers]

Boy crazy. Boy crazy. You know, But I come up pregnant for that first time and everything. Yeah. So, you know.

[Jeff]

No, I'm. And I'm not in it.

[Tina Spillers]

No. Yeah, I understand it. But it's just. It was the right thing with our appearance back in the days. If you got pregnant, you had to marry.

[Jeff]

That's right.

[Tina Spillers]

Because they wanted the man to take care of that child.

[Jeff]

Yeah. So how long did that last?

[Tina Spillers]

We were together for what, three years. And then he went to prison.

[Jeff]

Okay.

[Tina Spillers]

And everything. And then we just fell apart and everything. So I just. I don't know. I've been with a lot of toxic men over the past years. I mean, some really toxic ones.

[Jeff]

Yes, you have.

[Tina Spillers]

And I've learned that you need to be a little. I need to be a lot longer. Getting to know that person before jumping into a relationship with one. I need to know the true facts on who they really are. Because.

[Jeff]

Can I say something joking with you?

[Tina Spillers]

Go ahead, man.

[Jeff]

I'm glad you're saying that right here. I can't even tell you how many times I've said that.

[Tina Spillers]

There was a couple of really, really, really bad ones that can seriously.

[Jeff]

Yes.

[Tina Spillers]

Could have hurt me and really killed.

[Jeff]

Me and wanted to.

[Tina Spillers]

Yes. And, you know, I'm so thankful for y'all, Jeff, you and Casey, Miss Christie and all y'all.

[Jeff]

Now, you've been. You've been in some bad spots.

[Tina Spillers]

I've been in some serious bad spots in my life where I could. My life could have been taken a couple of times out there myself.

[Jeff]

Now, that's. That's legit.

[Tina Spillers]

Just one here recently.

[Jeff]

Agreed.

[Tina Spillers]

And everything. But.

[Jeff]

And I'd even say we're not out of the woods.

[Tina Spillers]

No, we're not out of the woods. But you know what? This is what. I'm leaving. It's in God's hand.

[Jeff]

Agreed.

[Tina Spillers]

Because God is my protector.

[Jeff]

He is. He is. And then out of that. So then three years, you're gonna. We're gonna get a house. And then I want my children back.

[Tina Spillers]

Grandbabies.

[Jeff]

Okay, Agreed. So then, like that.

[Tina Spillers]

And my grandbabies all on the property with me.

[Jeff]

That's right. So at the moment, just so everybody know, you're not able to be at the right. The place. Like, you're not raising your kids right at the moment in a tent with you. You're trying to.

[Tina Spillers]

I put my kids where they' life. In a home with my mom.

[Jeff]

Yeah, that's right.

[Tina Spillers]

And everything. So the three. The four younger ones are at home with mom. The girls, they're adults. They have their own lives. Hilliard, once he graduates. He's grown already. He's 18.

[Jeff]

That's right. He gonna go on.

[Tina Spillers]

But there'll be three left at home with mama. But my stage, I'm making towards getting in that right spot where I need to be.

[Jeff]

That's right.

[Tina Spillers]

I have that house, that nice ride, all of them horses out there, you know?

[Jeff]

And like. And that's like. And that's beautiful.

[Tina Spillers]

And chickens.

[Jeff]

That's right. And like that, like a hope and a belief of what could be and then what's going to be. And then I put.

[Tina Spillers]

You put your mind to it and you do it.

[Jeff]

Okay, so let me ask you. And this is a pretty obvious easy question. Okay. And in it, we got support, like. But to get out of this, like, let's say you find yourself in a position. You're homeless, you're in this. How easy is this world to get out of. Because everybody who's listening, who's not in it might go, oh, all you got.

[Tina Spillers]

To do is use your resources.

[Jeff]

But is it easy?

[Tina Spillers]

It is not easy.

[Jeff]

It is not easy.

[Tina Spillers]

But use your resources and you can get out of it.

[Jeff]

Yeah. Not easy.

[Tina Spillers]

It's only if you want it.

[Jeff]

That's it.

[Tina Spillers]

You can get out of it.

[Jeff]

Yeah.

[Tina Spillers]

And look, it took me a long time to realize this, that if I wanted it, I could have got out of it a long time ago there. So it's. This is on me right here. But my will right now, I want out of it.

[Jeff]

Okay. That's right. So it is a fair state. That is a. A beautifully good sentence. Okay. Some of the situation you go, well, I brought that on myself. Decisions. There's ran like the big word is. There's ramifications for if. If I make some poor choices. Guess what? Jeff's gonna have to pay a penalty for some poor choices. Right. Okay. There's some that were unfairly put up on you. Okay. There's some that, man, I didn't choose this, you know, and relate. So these things can happen and they all can come together. And then a support system, like, so I would look at everybody here. The commonality is whatever support system that they had, it falls apart. And then they find themselves on an island and maybe making choices, maybe somebody else helping, making bad choices with them. Their support system's gone. And next thing they know, they are so down in a hole that they didn't even know how they got here. So nobody ever comes here going, dude, I'm going to party for a little bit. And I'm going to be homeless for a while, but it's going to be like, awesome.

[Tina Spillers]

You know, Here recently, I took somebody that was staying in an alleyway over here. He stays with me over there. We're just friends. That's it. No, that's it.

[Jeff]

The.

[Tina Spillers]

For sure, sure, sure.

[Jeff]

That's just it. Okay.

[Tina Spillers]

Nope.

[Jeff]

Okay. Okay.

[Tina Spillers]

No, sir. But I removed him away from drugs.

[Jeff]

Well, yeah, Himself.

[Tina Spillers]

But now I know much more about him. Jeff. That this person's really d. And all he needed is someone to be his friend.

[Jeff]

Good gracious. And. And I'm. I'm saying that word simply because it's going to sound like a six year old when I say this. This homeless situation that we are facing and so many individual people. You know what? We can solve it with a bunch of people desiring to be true friends. As dumb as that sounds, It's a. It is a absolutely Absurdly dumb. But what it means is to care and to find and to help people. You know what? And to realize, you know, I would like to believe in that deal that those that call me that, they say, I'm a man. I'm Jeff's friend. If I am heading down a place that's really bad, they would interject and say, jeff, no, don't go there. This is bad for you.

[Tina Spillers]

Yeah.

[Jeff]

I'm a grown adult.

[Tina Spillers]

I can emphasize to you. Hey, Jeff, did you go get your medicine this week?

[Jeff]

That's right. Thank you.

[Tina Spillers]

Are you taking it on time like you should? And everything that's helped.

[Jeff]

Okay. And then if the community came together as a big and worked as one. That's right.

[Tina Spillers]

If we would be so much better, it'd be better.

[Jeff]

And because like here, I will say I can't do anything about Austin, but I know Temple. We can. We can make a difference here.

[Tina Spillers]

We can make a difference here.

[Jeff]

That's it. We can truly make a profound change in what is occurring here.

[Tina Spillers]

Yeah.

[Jeff]

Okay. I can't do anything about anywhere else, but we can impact here. We can interject with Tina, we can work with Bobby. We can work with Josh, who's out. We can interject one at a time in lives and keep putting the opportunities out there for people to receive the help. And then at the right day, at the right time, God will intervene and say, you know what? Death does not have to be your option.

[Tina Spillers]

That's right.

[Jeff]

And then life and life abundantly is what I came for. And so I kind of. I kind of like that. And so hopefully out there, and we're going to have another discussion with Tina, but like this, Tina kind of gave us a glimpse of what it's like. This is not an easy life, and. And how hard it would be. You should be sitting there right now, wherever you're listening to this, perplexed of going, oh, my gosh, I don't have a stable place to sleep. And then, like this stable place where your tent is. Okay. We will not say an address because if. If certain entities that mean well within the municipality found out that somebody had a tent in their backyard, guess what they do. They're there the next day, and she's kicked out because there's not access to an indoor bathroom at the facility. If she doesn't go, she gets a really expensive fine and so does the landowner, so they force her to go. So then the safe place that she had, which, if you want to argue out there, she shouldn't be in a tent. I'd give you. Yep. You and I, we can come have that debate and you tell me how we're going to provide something good. I'd agree with you. I would agree with you 100%. Tina should not be staying in a tent in somebody's backyard. Ready? We all agree on that sentence, everybody. We're all on that same page. Tina should not be sleeping in a tent in somebody's backyard in Temple, Texas in 2025, maybe in the 1800s. Okay, we're in 2025.

[Tina Spillers]

That's right.

[Jeff]

We agree on that. How we get from there to this reality of that we don't have people having to live in tents in people's backyards. There's the discussion, okay? And then out of that, and if you're listening to it, because there's answers. There is answers out there. But if you're listening, you got the answer that you know, let me know. Let's get it done. Okay? And then the other thing, if you are out there, you got to understand, like this stuff that you hear on the news, Fentanyl, it does not play.

[Tina Spillers]

That's right.

[Jeff]

It does not play. It is real.

[Tina Spillers]

Please open up your eyes.

[Jeff]

See it. It is legit. What is occurring. And see what is occurring. It is real. It is here real.

[Tina Spillers]

It's killing people every day.

[Jeff]

It is.

[Tina Spillers]

It's no gain.

[Jeff]

It ain't a game. Okay? So out of this not too bad, decent discussion, and we're going to have more of a discussion with Tina and we're going to look a little bit more her. But it was interesting. I thought it might be nice that she was willing. Just we didn't share any dark secret, but just give a glimpse of this and, you know, just for your point of reality, like today it's going to rain. Tonight it's going to be 40 something degrees. And Tina. That's. That's right, Tina is going to be outside.

[Tina Spillers]

Yes.

[Jeff]

Okay. Three years from now, you hold us to this, Tina.

[Tina Spillers]

Yes.

[Jeff]

We want to start the process of taking steps, of finding a way to get that house.

[Tina Spillers]

That's right.

[Jeff]

Okay. We want Tina to be well.

[Tina Spillers]

Yep.

[Jeff]

Because that's right. Because we don't even. We don't even see them yet. But there's grandchildren that don't even know that they're even going to come in this world yet that are waiting, that really need Tina in their lives, and they need Tina to be well in their lives. Your kid, okay. The gift that you can give them when they're old enough to make choices about where they want to go when they're 18.

[Tina Spillers]

That's right.

[Jeff]

That they want to be with their mom, who is. Well.

[Tina Spillers]

Yep. That's right. Especially, you know, the three youngest. The three youngest right now and everything. And just because their dads wasn't there, they need their mom.

[Jeff]

That's right.

[Tina Spillers]

No matter what.

[Jeff]

That's right. Because you've said it. What is the most important thing is family.

[Tina Spillers]

Family.

[Jeff]

It's family.

[Tina Spillers]

The love.

[Jeff]

That's right. And when you do not have that. Okay.

[Tina Spillers]

It corrupts them.

[Jeff]

That's right. It can be crushing. Fair.

[Tina Spillers]

That's me. I've been there.

[Jeff]

That's right.

[Tina Spillers]

I've been there. So, yeah, it does. It crushes you.

[Jeff]

That's right. So out there, and what's interesting, but I kind of find sort of encouraging. Tina doesn't know what we're going to talk about. We just sit down and we talk and she says the same things we talk about all the time. That people matter. Every person matters. They deserve to be loved.

[Tina Spillers]

That's right.

[Jeff]

And family matters.

[Tina Spillers]

That's right.

[Jeff]

And the way we're going to solve all of this stuff, as crazy as it sounds, as juvenile as it sounds, it is not that juvenile. And I understand the complexity of it. The way we are going to solve this is when the community comes together and decides we want to solve this. Okay. When we come together and we join and we realize that we are all in this together. Okay. Then we will impact. I can't do anything about New York. I'm sorry. We will impact Temple Texas. Okay. We can do something about here. So out there, if you are listening to this, okay, maybe your call to hear today is a. To say a special prayer, because I do believe this. Okay. So, Tina, you know, this is truth. Because there's people that are going to hear this that are going to pray for you by name.

[Tina Spillers]

Thank you.

[Jeff]

Okay. So Tina's name will get lifted up by everybody who is out there and to pray a special blessing for you that you don't even know. And we know what it says. Scripturally, it says where two or three are gathered, came and they asked if God hears these things. Okay. He's there. And then that. To feel the comfort of whether you can see it or not, that others are calling out your name. Yeah. Okay. And they are praying for you to be well and to be good and to be safe and all of these things that they're praying for themselves. We're not asking them to pray for anything. They're not praying for themselves. So out of this, if nothing else, you feel the comfort and that. What's crazy, I don't understand this. There's people that listen to this all over the dad gum country, which doesn't make any sense to me, but they do. And maybe you got a little glimpse of Tina and in three years, it's not magically going to happen. Great journeys begin with a single step. And maybe this is a single step that's going to start leading. We're going to get that and we're going to get well and we're going to get safe and she's going to be indoors and she's going to be loving on our kids. We won't keep circling back, but it's going to come back when. When Tina and she's decided we're going to. We're going to get well.

[Tina Spillers]

Yep.

[Jeff]

So out of that last thing is for everybody out there, we would say every person matters here. Right. And that's true. And then we would also say every person matters because you are a person and you matter. That's right. That you are not alone. And you are not alone. In fact, that you can just sit there and pretend that these things are not occurring. Nope, they're real.

[Tina Spillers]

Speak up.

[Jeff]

That's right. You matter.

[Tina Spillers]

Speak. Because we all matter.

[Jeff]

That's right. Okay. You matter and you have a place and you have a giftedness. So we will end on that. Okay. Good to see. Tina has got such a beautiful smile and her eyes are always so soft. And so it is good to see. Just have a time to talk to Tina. And what's neat on these is they're there forever.

[Tina Spillers]

That's right.

[Jeff]

There is a statement that says that Tina is well and we now also got something to hold accountable that we are all on the same team that we are going to get.

[Tina Spillers]

That's right.

[Jeff]

We're going to move forward. So everybody out there hope you have a great day. I hope you enjoyed this. I hope you got a little glimpse into. I hope, a world that you don't even understand at all. Thank you for listening to this episode of the Collage Podcast, a production of redcord Media. For more information on this and other podcasts, please visit redcord media.org.