← The Collage Podcast
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- [00:00]
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Foreign.
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Hello and welcome to another edition of the Collage Podcast. My name is Nancy Glover and I'm not normally the one that hosts these. So this is my first time kind of nervous, but I think it's gonna be okay. And I'm here with a couple of people that are near and dear to Feed My Sheep as an organization. We have Lindsay and Christy and I'm gonna let them just introduce themselves and give a little bit of background about who they are and how long they've been involved with Feed My Sheep. But today's conversation is going to really a. A continuation of the, the podcast that we had talked about YR and some of her struggles and we had some conversations in the office about her and just some other cases that, that they have seen and I, I shouldn't use the word case, some other people that they have worked with in the past and how they, they've seen God really working in ways that they weren't expecting him to work. And I think their, their advice to me, because I'm relatively new at this, they've been doing this much, much longer than I have. Their advice to me after listening to the podcast was really that we need to understand what is happening and, and that it goes beyond what we think it might mean or what the circumstances might be and that God has a different plan sometimes. And even if we don't understand it in the moment, it's an important thing for us to understand that God is working and that we need to trust sometimes more. More. And it's not an easy thing to do. Obviously that, I think was another big part of the conversation is that it is difficult. But I do think that that was really the point of, of the conversation for that podcast and for the ones prior to that, that it really isn't a cut and dry, black and white kind of thing. That everybody is different, everybody's struggling in different ways and that it's not always a one size fits all kind of solution across the board. And God is meeting people where they're at through the whole thing too. So that's really what we're going to talk about. Just sort of their experiences here at Feed My Sheep and what they have experienced and sort of how they were, how they were moved by, by that podcast to remember some of those precious people that they've worked with in the past. So we'll start with Lindsay. You can tell us who you are and how long you've been with Feed My Sheep.
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So I'm Lindsay, been with Feed My Sheep a little over Two years. And I was a stay at home mom for a really long time. I've been having conversations with God on where I needed to serve and where I needed to be. Ended up at a temple Christmas parade. The Feed my Sheep temple clinic went by and God spoke. I came to sign up the next week and I never left.
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B
Wow. How long ago is that?
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So it would have been the Christmas of 23.
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B
23. Wow.
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A
I've been here a little over two years.
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B
That's awesome. That's awesome. Christy, what about you?
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C
I am Christy in the resource office. This will be my 10th year here. Would feed my sheep.
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B
Wow.
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C
Yes. And it doesn't even feel that long at all. I retired and after a couple years of cleaning my house, I couldn't clean anything else. So I decided I need to get out and, you know, maybe try to get involved in some volunteer situation, you know, kind of try to help some people. That's what your mind tells you in your heart. And what happens is that I came here and I walked in one day and I said, I'm just here to, you know, try to help any way I can. And what happens is that not only are you helping people, but you're getting it back, you know, threefold. And, you know, God gives that to us through things that we are involved in and daily situations. And now I can't see myself being out of here.
- [05:10]
B
Yeah.
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C
So it's. I am, I am so excited and always have been that this is a faith based organization and I'm free to pray. We do a lot of hand holding and listening and, and praying with people. And right now I'm helping people with that might be facing eviction to try to prevent that and keep them in a home and with utility payments. Things that we face every day right now with, you know, the economy the way it is and different things. So enjoying that for sure. But in those conversations, there's way more than just talking about rent and utilities going on sometimes.
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B
So how many people do you think you see a day in just a normal business day?
- [06:10]
C
Oh my goodness. Well, I make three appointments a day. We're here from nine to one. So I make three appointments a day so that I have time with them. Because like I said, what happens is that if I don't make them far enough apart, I can't take time to get involved.
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B
Yeah.
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C
And to maybe some. Something that's not rent or utility, that they've got other things going on in their life and it comes up so I can help them address those issues
- [06:41]
B
as well, so, yeah, that's great. So when we were talking earlier, you guys were commenting on a couple of people that you've worked with in the past that have just really stuck with you. I know that there are probably countless names out there, but there were a couple that, that you guys had had just kind of come to mind when we were chatting. And I think one of them was. And we'll just use. We'll use a different name for them, but Jane Doe, I guess we'll call her for you. Lindsay. You're Jane Doe.
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It's going to be hard to talk about this without crying.
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B
Yeah.
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A
But when I very first met her, she hated me. She wanted absolutely nothing to do with me. And it reminded me just like how we grow up. Like, we have perceptions of people by how they look, what they drive. And so for her, being a person that is on the streets and, you know, has substance abuse problems and she sees me her same age, living a completely different way was instant judgment on her part. But I was crushed inside. I felt like a little girl on, like an elementary school playground. Like every part of my being wanted to be her friend and she wanted nothing to do with me. And then fast forward about six weeks was the big Valentine's Day event, and I was asked to speak and give my testimony. And when I got done speaking, she got up and hugged me and said, I used to hate you, but now you're my best friend. But she meant it, and I took that to heart. But watching her go through these struggles was probably my first big, like, heartbreak with being here because I just couldn't wrap my mind around all the opportunities that we had given her time and time again to go to rehab and go to other places that she couldn't leave where she was at. So I struggled with my friendship with her. Like, where do I find the line to not enable her to continue to do what she's doing, but still be that support for her? Because she truly didn't have anybody. She was at a point her daughter wouldn't speak to her. Her parents were in New York, so she was alone. And then the amount of abuse that she was going through, I just couldn't understand why she would stay.
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B
Yeah.
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A
And then fast forward, certain things had to take place to get her off the streets. And we didn't know how she was going to handle those situations. But she took getting arrested and went straight from jail to rehab. From rehab to a sober living tour. She now has nine months clean. She's working a full time job. She's a president of her sober living house. So it reminded me that, like, when we were having the conversation earlier, that even through heartbreak and heartache, sometimes we just have to let go and let God do what he's gonna do and just be patient, be still, and just know that he's God and he's got it. But her going to jail, being forced to be sober, made her finally get to a place where she is. So sometimes it takes the hard things and we have to learn to love each other enough to do the hard things. And it was hard thing to do to her. But watching what has come out of
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B
it,
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I can literally say she's one of my best friends, truly, because I have got to be a part of her growth. I can be a support that she doesn't have elsewhere. And so that gives me healing from my past. So things come full circle when you just stop and just truly care about somebody.
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B
So was she your sort of first interaction with a client on that level?
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A
I had been here for months, so I had had interactions, but she was the first one that I had this internal like, I need to be her friend.
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B
Wow.
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And the way I see it and the way things have played out, because the trust that she had in me, that was something God placed inside of me because he knew that she was going to need somebody that give up.
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B
Yeah. And so since. Since you met her, she's gone from what we would call street level homelessness and addiction through treatment, and now is in housing.
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So she lives in a group home that is sober living for women.
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C
Okay.
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And so they all hold each other accountable. They have weekly meetings that they go to. But she has grown so much, just not only in her sobriety, but, like, her walk with go.
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B
Wow.
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That she is a leader there to where, like, she is somebody that they, like, they go to for support. They have nominated her like the president because she. Her brain is functioning on a higher level because she has something else to care about besides how do I stay safe.
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B
Yeah. Wow. That's awesome.
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A
It's a beautiful thing to watch, seeing her on her birthday this year. Like, it was probably her first sober birthday in a decade.
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B
Wow.
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And the love that she felt. And, like, the best part about that is I got to take her to get the money order she needed to where she was 100% caught up on her rent, and she did it on her own. And, like, to see the joy that she got from feeling accomplished, like, feeling the worth that, like, God always saw in her, and that makes me just humble because who Am I. That I get to be a part of it?
- [12:58]
B
Yeah. That's awesome. So we've been talking a lot over the last several podcasts about how, yes, getting someone through what we would call recovery into housing, which we would. We would maybe call, you know, restoration on some level, isn't really the end.
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It's not.
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We could put someone in a house like Jane Doe and that would help for a short term, but the long term solution for her is really finding people like you that love her in this profound way to where she has the ability, has the capacity to be able to see her, her own worth and her, I guess, her. Her relationship with God in a whole different sort of way. Without that connection, the house is just a structure.
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It's just a place to be.
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C
Yeah.
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Well. And I think on that level, that's probably why we see people come back so often, because we can get them a house, but we can't fill their hearts.
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C
Right.
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So unless we are spending time to know these people and let them know that they do matter, even if they don't matter to themselves, they do. And it can be a slow process or it can happen as fast as it did with her.
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B
Yeah.
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A
But the patience is something that, I think on a group level, you know, the person that we're trying to help or for us or even for God, like, with us to just be like, stop it. Like, I have this. Sometimes we have to let go and let him work.
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B
Absolutely. Yeah.
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C
And to be there for them when they're in need, not just when we're ready.
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B
Right.
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C
To meet them, where they're at, for who they are at the time, and accept and love them for. For those reasons.
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B
Yeah.
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C
And that's one of the things that, you know, we talk about every day here, is that we are there for people. Not, you know, feed my sheep is not just a meal.
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B
Right.
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C
It's way more than that. And, and opening up to people about God and feeling free to do that and inviting them in and letting them in our hearts, that we open our hearts to them.
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B
Yeah.
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Because they do matter. Yeah.
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B
And your. Your Jane Doe, Christy, was also really interesting story. Tell us about her.
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C
Well, considering I've been here for 10 years, each year I see ups and downs.
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B
Yeah.
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With people and, you know, that's one of the things that we hope and pray for, is that, you know, we can get involved with people and keep them on track, but it's way more than what we can do. You know, God's got to be in the middle of that and Sometimes things happen that we don't understand, like you said, but we know that God's in control. We want to be in control. We can help this person. We can't do anything except through him.
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B
Right.
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C
So we have, you know, going to rehab and then coming back and not being able to. To stay clean and sober.
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B
Yeah.
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C
And that I think some of the problems. Issues that those people have is that they don't feel worthy enough to who, you know, who mat. Who are they? They matter to us. A lot of people here have burned all family ties. They don't have anybody to go home to. Nobody to care about them. Right. And so this one young, you know, one been in several rehabs and coming back and getting so close so many times to being. And living a sober life.
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B
Yeah.
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And then not being able to stay with it. Difficult for them. But that we are always there for them no matter how many times that it happens. And that it only takes that one time.
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Yeah.
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That it. That it sticks, if you will. Not. Not a really good word. But that we pray that this will be the last time that they have to go through that. It's. It's hard for them to go through those times too.
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Yeah.
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For sure.
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B
How much of it do you think, because you've been in this for such a long time, how much of the hopelessness that they feel? Because I think the ones at least that I've worked with, that can't seem to stick with sobriety, they have this sense of just why bother? You know, it's almost like this. They've reached this point of view. I've tried so many times and failed so many times. Why. Why even bother? How much of that do you think is related to systemic barriers, like just the system being not created or not. Not built for ease of navigation versus how much of it do you think? How much hopelessness do you think just comes from, like Lindsay was saying, that they just can't achieve those higher levels of thinking because they're just so mired in the. I need to survive today.
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C
I would say that it's both of those things because we have barriers in what we do and what we're able to do here. And that's why we need to build relationships with people, because that's where it's going to happen.
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B
Yeah.
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C
It's not going to happen in a piece of paper or, you know, coming in and. And getting in a home, like you said, that's not going to. To help with those other issues that they have.
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Yeah.
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And knowing that we're always going to be there.
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Yeah.
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That makes a difference. Sometimes we're the only friends or, or anybody that they have to share anything with. And we try to praise those times when we, you know, we make, we. We might meet one of those challenges and like we were talking about earlier is that we don't always get to see the full circle.
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Right.
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C
You know, Lindsay's story is, is, I'm going to say, a little bit rare. That's how we feel, is that we can help people along the way, help get them what they need. And then one small thing may happen that changes the whole the road ahead for them. They're vulnerable, they're lonely, they're hurting. And they turn to that thing that makes them feel better.
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When you don't have somebody to lean into, that's when things, things happen. Like, yes, my Jane Doe, early in her sobriety, found out that her father had passed away.
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B
Yeah.
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And that could have gone really, really bad. But I think because a. The rehab that she went to was faith based, so she got to dig into her relationship with God through that. But she had this realization that after she found out that her dad had passed away, that if she would have still been on the street, she wouldn't even have known. So she was taking that moment that was hard. And instead of running to something to make her feel better, she sat in gratitude that she was even allowed to know that she was able to have a conversation because he was in hospice. So she was able to have a conversation with him on the phone and talk to him. So before he left, he knew that she was okay, that she was doing better.
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B
Wow.
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A
And those are the things that only a God that we serve can do.
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C
Yeah.
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A
And so my story with her is rare, but I get to watch the constant blessings. And so when we do have hard things and we don't know what happens to people or we see people just continue to make the bad decisions, it's those moments that keeps us going. Because if there's one more.
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C
Yeah. Yes.
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A
Because it doesn't matter how many fail, as long as we can help people go.
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C
Yeah. Yes.
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B
I think it's really interesting to just sort of coming in from the outside, being the new person. The people that come here to help, the volunteers or the staff, people that come here to, to feed my sheep, how varied their backgrounds are and how it's a God thing that they're brought here for some sort of fulfillment that God is looking for in their lives. Not necessarily, you know, this feeling that, you know, I'm Gonna change the, you know, the whole situation with homelessness. And I want to conquer everything and, you know, get everybody off the street. That's not it. But it's more of just this. I'm moved to serve in. In some way. So tell us, like, how. What. What brought you to feed my sheep initially?
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A
Well, really it was. I, like I said, being a stay at home mom and just like a little bit of background. I didn't grow up in a house that went to church. There was things that happened with my mom and church, but I never once questioned God's existence or the fact that he's God and I need to obey. Doesn't mean I lived that way and I didn't. But with that, once I found that I needed to be better, I wanted to be better. And, you know, I did my surrender. I had always had that serving heart. I'd always wanted to do things. But then when I got to that place with God, I was like, okay, you gave me this for a reason. What am I supposed to be doing with it?
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B
Yeah.
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A
And I kept looking up places and nothing. Like, just stuck in. I'll be honest, I didn't put that much effort into like, go check places out. But I think it happened for that reason. Because the reason why I ended up at that temple parade was I had just met a neighbor and I had missed the belt in Christmas parade, and I had just met her, and our boys were talking, getting along. The next day was a parade and her boys were walking in it. So we just decided. So met a new friend the next day, decided to go see her boys in this parade. Her boys go by. And then it was feed my sheep and God said, go.
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B
Wow.
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A
So, like, he is so intentional with everything because then I made a really great friend who was actually about to walk away from church until she met me. So, like, he's so intentional with every single thing that he does. If we just slow down and listen.
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B
Yeah.
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A
So that's honestly what brought me here. So I hadn't really looked because I needed that moment. And then once I got here, I did my first two days in the cafe, and then I got into the resource office and met Christy and we clicked. And just like whom I am and who my heart was, like, I just stayed.
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C
Yeah.
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A
And it's involved into so much more. I do haircuts and other things, but it was truly God telling me to come here.
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B
That's awesome.
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C
Was my husband and I went to Heb and he went in, I stayed in the truck, he went in to get his prescription. And so he's waiting in line, and he's waiting in line, and it's quite a while he's in there. And during that time, I'm sitting in the truck and I look up and there's a man that walks in front of me that, you know, he's a little. His clothing is not so nice and his hair's a little messed up, and he's not clean shaven. And he walks in front of the truck and he looks right at me and just grins. Just grins. And he keeps walking. So my husband comes out of heb and I said, what, what happened? And he said, because I could tell on his face, he said, well, there was this man that had gotten sent there to get his prescription and so said it would be paid for, but it wasn't. And there were three people ahead of my husband that declined to help him. And my husband paid his prescription so he could have his. Paid for it so he could have his prescription.
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B
Wow.
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C
And he said, he talked to the guy after, and he said, where are you headed and what's going on with you? And he said, I'm headed to feed my sheep. And as soon as my husband said that, I said, wow. And then God said, that's where you need to go.
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B
Wow.
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C
And I've been here ever since. And it's amazing that God just sends us in places and we're like, what do I do when I get there? Well, he lets us know.
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A
Yeah, I didn't. I haven't heard that story since my very first day. Because when I was telling you, like, how I ended there, you're like, you have to hear this. And it was the same thing. And I just knew that I found my home, my family.
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C
Yeah, this is our family now. I just told a girl that this morning, and she said, I feel God's presence here. And I said, we all do. He's here and he's working.
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B
So just for clarity, neither one of y' all have a background in social work?
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C
No.
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B
No, not at all. No experience in ministries or helping people experiencing homelessness, like, for a job.
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A
Never.
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B
Never hair.
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C
He tells us what to say and what to do. And yeah, he guides us along the way. I think it's obedient.
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B
I think that's. That is the. The common theme with everyone that I've met here. That it's not a. It's not a group of, you know, social worker. Yeah, no, just people. Just people that God has pulled together that have these hearts for service and. And such Diverse experience. Like, I think right now in the resource office today, we have a retired art teacher. And I don't know, I guess Casey's background is he wasn't in ministry. Yeah. Colorful background. He wasn't in ministry, but he has
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A
a heart for Jesus.
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C
Yeah. It's a servant heart that you either have it or you don't. Yeah.
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A
Yeah. I mean, we're all called to serve, you know, and do things to help, but that doesn't mean the calling that like, Christy and I have.
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B
Yeah.
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A
And I think that's why we have stayed so long is just because we're obedient. He is faithful.
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B
Yeah.
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A
And. And I will be here until he tells me to go.
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C
That's awesome. Here. Yeah.
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A
And I don't see that happening anytime soon.
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B
No, you can't leave neither. Neither one of y' all can. Can ever le.
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C
I think it's important, too, Nancy, with your story, that we understand that a lot of prayers were answered and have been answered in your journey with yr. And I think we have to be able to recognize those times whenever that is happening. And like we say, let go.
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B
Yeah.
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C
We. We think we can handle it, but it's not us that needs to handle it. Right. Things happen that help us understand why we're where we're at, why those things happened, and accept them in a way that's not easy for us. We want to see success, and we don't always get to see it, but we have to. We have to notice those successes that we do have and those. Those things that God shows us that we have to recognize.
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B
Yeah.
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A
Well, every person's level of success has a different limit, too. Sometimes the success could just be able to have a conversation with somebody.
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C
Yes.
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A
Or, like, speaking of yr, when I did a movie night, the fact that I was able to get her across the street and actually come sit down and have some popcorn was a huge, huge win. And I hadn't even known that part of the story with you yet, Nancy. I mean, I'd seen her around, but I could tell that she was reserved and things had probably happened to her, so I let her have her place. But that night, she didn't talk to me much. But just to give her a place to sit and to watch a movie and just feel safe, God let me be a part of that. And it's those things that even if that person can't understand the care that people do have, they're feeling safety whether they're acknowledging it or not.
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B
Yeah.
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C
And maybe those are small steps for some people that may be what they see, but they're big steps for us. For them to even trust, you know, you have to gain trust is number one here.
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B
Yeah.
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C
And to be able to do that and then be able to even have a conversation shared, a two way conversation is wonderful.
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B
Yeah.
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C
Because we care about them, we love them, we want to love on them when they'll let us.
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A
I think that's a great thing about like volunteers as a whole, that the ones that we have, they do what they say they're going to do. And so many people that are, you know, street level homelessness get promises broken all the time. Or somebody's like, yeah, I'll get that free later and then it's not a priority to whoever said it. So it goes to the wayside.
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C
Yeah.
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A
So just those things like having people that truly have that heart and they mean what they say, those are the things that can help rebuild people to maybe have that confidence and they are worth more.
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C
Yes.
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B
Yeah, absolutely.
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C
And that they are worthy of love, of being loved. I think with your yr story that, you know, when you were saying that you told her that you loved her, she believes you.
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B
I hope so. I hope so. I think that one thing that I've learned in my very limited amount of time working with these folks is that my. Measure of success can't be the measure of success. And you know, over the time that we've been, you know, really focusing on coming up with these big high level solutions like the Little Flock community or, you know, you name it, that has been a measure of success for me. You know, need to raise six and a half million dollars so we can get this thing built and then everybody can have a home and we're all going to live happily ever after, you know, and that's, that's success. But it's not, it's not, it's not that.
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A
No.
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B
I mean we've got and the helping
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C
of people and getting them in there and getting them the help they need. Exactly.
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B
And we've talked about, you know, we've got 33 clients that are in tenant based rental assistance right now and I would say half of them are not going to succeed.
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C
Yeah.
- [34:36]
B
And it's not because of anything other than a lack of family, a lack of community, a lack of support. And outside of, of us, we have to be able to make that like that has to be built in, that has to be baked into it in everything. You know, there's got to be a way to connect them with supportive services. Yeah. Positive. Positive peer groups and.
- [35:13]
C
And. And see them. See them. Try to.
- [35:19]
B
Sorry. We have a dog in the room with us today. She's been very good, but she's a great watcher. Yes,
- [35:29]
C
I understand what you're saying. You know, we think that. Oh, well, all we got to do is get them in a home.
- [35:36]
B
Yeah.
- [35:36]
C
And they'll be okay. And that's not true. Right. It might be true for some, but just like all of us, we all have different issues that we have to address daily. And these. Some people just don't know where to turn. Right. And they can't. Like we talked about. They feel like they're always backing up, that everybody's against them, and it's. It's just the nature sometimes of what happens in the homeless world. Right.
- [36:13]
B
Yeah. Well, it's definitely not an easy topic to figure out, and it's. I think it's something that we're probably going to. At least I can speak for myself. It's something that I will continue to learn for years to come as I do this work and may not ever be able to figure it all out or navigate it all. Yeah. But I think at the end of the day, you know, Jeff, at the end of these podcasts, he always says that this is all because people matter. You guys matter. You guys really do matter. The volunteers that come up here every day, I think there's like 28 a day on average that come and work in the various parts of Feed My Sheep. The paid staff that are here that don't get paid a lot of money, it's just enough to cover gas. It seems to get back and forth, but you guys are putting in blood, sweat and tears, prayers. And at the end of the day, your heart's into this and. And helping people. Helping people. Lily, stop. Stop.
- [37:36]
A
Here, look.
- [37:37]
C
Okay?
- [37:38]
B
And she's had enough of this. There's someone knocking in the hallway. Well, we're going to end it at that and just say people matter, dogs matter, and you. And you matter. Thank you all for joining us today.