The Collage Podcast

Episode: Understanding Identity Through Struggles
Host: Feed My Sheep
Guest: Nancy
Date: March 24, 2026

Overview

In this episode, the hosts explore the concept of identity, healing, and restoration through the lens of personal struggle, drawing parallels between biblical narratives and modern challenges, particularly homelessness. Anchored by a discussion of the biblical story of the paralytic at the pool of Bethsaida (John 5:1–7), the conversation delves into what it means to be "stuck," the psychological barriers to accepting help, and the complex role of resourcefulness in perpetuating struggle. The episode challenges listeners to consider not just how we serve and help others, but the internal processes that keep us from embracing change and healing.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

The Story of the Paralytic at Bethsaida

[02:03–08:14]

• The episode centers on John 5:1–7, where Jesus asks a sick man at the pool, "Would you like to get well?" after 38 years of illness.
• Cultural context: In ancient times, 38 years would be considered very old, signifying a lifetime of waiting and perseverance.
• The pool was believed to have healing powers when stirred, leading to crowds of the sick waiting for their chance.

Quote:

"He'd been there 38 years. You'd have to go, pretty decent perseverance... Wants to be healed, in the right spot. Close to the answer, but still ill." — Host [07:56]

Interpreting the Response: ‘I Can’t’

[08:14–12:08]

• Focus on the man’s answer, "I can't," which is both a practical response (he’s paralyzed and can't reach the water first) and an emblem of despair.
• Jesus’ question, "Would you like to get well?" can seem almost cruel, yet it brings attention to deeper issues than surface-level solutions.

Quote:

"The question wasn’t 'why are you still paralyzed?' The question was, 'do you want to get well?' That’s a yes or no question." — Host [22:48]

Resourcefulness as Both Asset and Obstacle

[12:08–18:40]

• Many experiencing chronic homelessness display exceptional resourcefulness to survive, but that same skill can become a form of resistance to change.
• Example: A homeless woman who says, "if I lose my house, oh well, I'll be just fine," highlighting how survival skills can morph into a "crutch."
• Resourcefulness can also translate into psychological traps, making change intimidating or unfathomable.

Quote:

"Her resourcefulness has become sort of a crutch for her...to face the responsibilities and the realities of what that healing would mean." — Nancy [13:22]

Identity Formed Through Struggle

[15:17–18:40]

• Over time, a person's struggle can become their identity; familiarity with their condition provides a kind of comfort, even if limiting or painful.
• The known can feel safer than the unknown possibilities.

Quote:

"There’s a comfort in, at least whether you like it or not, of, 'I understand this. Oh, that's the paralyzed man who's outside of the sheep gate.'" — Host [15:39]

Psychological Paralysis Beyond the Physical

[18:42–24:29]

• The hosts discuss real clients who decline offers of help with various rationalizations ("I can't," "I'm allergic to money," "I'm not allowed to get in cars").
• The repetition of "I can't" is a default, reflecting psychological struggle more than actual barriers.

Memorable Moment:
Nancy shares an interaction:

"When I approached her yesterday about going in and getting a hotel room, the first thing out of her mouth was, 'I can’t.' ... I said, 'why not?' And she said, 'I’m allergic to the money.'" — Nancy [21:27–21:35]

The Universality of "I Can't"

[24:29–29:13]

• The tendency to default to "I can’t" is not limited to any one group; the hosts and volunteers confess to it themselves.
• Even well-intentioned offers of life change often meet resistance rooted in ingrained beliefs or past experiences.

Quote:

"Almost everyone...my first answer, when somebody poses that true help and restoration is somewhere, we’re always going to go to the place of 'I can’t' because of — and insert real valid good answer here." — Host [25:15]

The Burden of Brokenness and Comparison

[29:14–34:27]

• Discussion shifts to how the world defines people by their limitations: "He’s broken; he’s a failure."
• Seeing others "get well" can exacerbate self-loathing, envy, or a sense of failure.
• Staying among other struggling individuals can bring comfort or a buffer from facing change alone.

Quote:

"To be able to see something so close that you just can't seem to grasp for yourself is...very, very disheartening." — Nancy [32:06]

Statistical Realities of Homelessness and Recovery

[34:28–36:08]

• After six months of homelessness, the chance of escaping the cycle drops dramatically.
• The longer someone remains in struggle, the harder it becomes to embrace change.

Insight:

"If you haven’t found somebody off that’s on the street and find avenues out within six months, statistically, after that, it is astronomically difficult to get them off the street." — Host [36:08]

What Does Real Kindness Look Like?

[36:54–43:04]

• Exploration of what it means to be kind: Not just giving material aid (like $2 or a sandwich), but actively seeking ways to facilitate real change on an individual basis.
• The challenge is to recognize that sometimes people are not ready for change, and forcing help may not be effective.

Economic and Social Complexity

[47:01–48:54]

• The "business" around suffering (mats, food, donations) forms economic ecosystems that may unintentionally perpetuate struggle.
• Some stakeholders may resist real solutions if their livelihood depends on the persistence of others’ problems.

Quote:

"If you are the maker of mats around the pool of Bethsaida and you are really good at it and that’s how you’re supporting your family, do you really want all the people that are ill, lame and paralytic gone from there?" — Host [48:29]

The Limits of Outside Intervention

[44:54–47:01, 49:38–56:26]

• Ultimately, no one can force restoration—true change must be desired and accepted internally.
• Each person's path is unique and requires personalized support and timing.

Quote:

"We are not the healers, but we can help...providing the options and the opportunities that put the person in the highest probability of meeting the true place where healing and restoration can occur." — Host [47:01]

Universal Application: The Question for All

[54:13–56:26]

• The challenge posed to listeners: In what ways are we all like the man at the pool, defaulting to "I can’t" and missing opportunities for healing?
• Everyone is invited to consider the question, "Do you want to get well?" in the context of their own struggles.

Quote:

"That question is posed to every person...every person matters. You matter. And just like in the story, Jesus looked and saw him in his infirmity. The guy did nothing to come to Jesus. Jesus saw him and came to him." — Host [54:32]

Notable Quotes & Moments (with Timestamps)

• "Would you like to get well? I can't, sir." — Jesus & the paralytic (reading scripture) [03:20]
• "Her resourcefulness has become sort of a crutch..." — Nancy [13:22]
• "There’s a comfort in...I understand this. Oh, that's the paralyzed man..." — Host [15:39]
• "I can't...I'm allergic to the money." — Client (via Nancy) [21:35]
• "Why is our first response always...I can't because..." — Host [25:15]
• "To be able to see something so close that you just can't seem to grasp for yourself is...very, very disheartening." — Nancy [32:06]
• "If you are the maker of mats around the pool...do you really want all the people...gone from there?" — Host [48:29]
• "We are not the healers, but we can help..." — Host [47:01]
• "That question is posed to every person...every person matters." — Host [54:32]

Takeaways & Reflections

• The episode intertwines a biblical narrative with current realities of homelessness, addiction, and personal struggles, emphasizing how chronic conditions shape identity and responses to help.
• The phrase "I can't" becomes a microcosm of psychological, emotional, and practical paralysis that affects everyone at some point, whether or not their struggle is visible.
• True restoration requires more than a solution—it demands understanding, patience, presence, and a willingness to accept that change is scary even if it's good.
• Listeners are encouraged to apply the central question—“Do you want to get well?”—to their own lives, reflecting on what keeps them "by the pool" and what steps, however small, might move them toward healing.

Timestamps for Key Segments

• Introduction & Theme: [00:00–02:03]
• Biblical Story Reading & Context: [02:03–08:14]
• Resourcefulness Discussion: [12:08–18:40]
• Psychology of 'I Can't': [21:11–25:27]
• Identity and Comparison: [29:14–34:27]
• Statistics on Homelessness: [34:28–36:08]
• Economics Around Suffering: [47:01–48:54]
• Direct Challenge to Listeners: [54:13–56:26]

Tone and Approach

The episode is conversational, empathetic, sometimes gently irreverent but always compassionate—balancing honest realism about the struggles faced with hope for change. The hosts speak from personal experience and direct engagement with those in need, offering their own vulnerabilities along with their professional insights.

Final Thought

For everyone—whether working with the marginalized, grappling with personal struggle, or simply seeking meaning—the challenge is universal: How do we break free from the comfort of the familiar and answer, even tentatively, "Yes, I want to get well"?