12 Days Of TCB: Baby, It's A Cold Read

Summary

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The Commercial Break: 12 Days Of TCB - "Baby, It's A Cold Read"

Release Date: December 19, 2024
Hosts: Bryan Green & Krissy Hoadley
Guest: Christina (in-studio contribution)

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Episode Overview

Kicking off another installment of their “12 Days of TCB” holiday marathon, Bryan and Krissy dive into unfiltered banter about life updates, health (with a trademark twisted comedic edge), and then set their crosshairs on celebrity medium “psychic” Teresa Caputo—breaking down one of her infamous “cold reads” on Chicago TV. The dynamic is classic Commercial Break: equal parts crude, ridiculous, and somehow oddly educational, with Christina joining in for extra color. Listeners get a blend of seasonal silliness, irreverent health advice, and a scathing (and hilarious) takedown of Caputo’s reality TV schtick.

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Major Discussion Points & Insights

1. TCB’s Holiday Project Updates (00:30–03:27)

• Audience Engagement: Recapping the audience’s reaction to daily TCB episodes (“20 straight days… for purely commercial reasons”).
• Wardrobe Struggles: Much laughter about running out of Christmas-themed clothing and decorations.
• Sticker Fiasco: Listeners can request replacement “21 EPM” stickers if theirs have “browned out,” with eco-friendliness (and cheapness) cited as reasons.
  • “Eco reasons. Meaning economical reasons. We only paid a dollar for a sticker.” – Bryan (02:22)

2. Wild Weekend Anecdotes & Ring Cam Hijinks (03:27–06:50)

• Bryan’s Twin’s Forced Sleepover: After being “kicked out” by his new fiancée for a girls’ party, Bryan’s brother entertains himself watching guests stumble out on the Ring doorbell camera.
• Ring Cam Privacy: Bryan jokes about wanting access to Krissy and Jeff’s camera, joking about their nocturnal (and sometimes unclothed) gardening.
• “I will bet you at least twice a year Chrissy and/or Jeff are caught on ring doorbell sans clothing.” – Bryan (05:15)

3. The Infamous “Bell Ringing” Doctor Debate (06:50–14:47)

• Medical Adventures: Hilarious confusion over annual men’s health checks: is “the bell ringing” a prostate exam (finger in butt) or testicular check (coughing)?
• Listener Question: A late-night call from Jeff launches a chaotic, TCB-style breakdown of “doctor’s office molestations.”
• “There’s two separate molestations that go on. Right.” – Bryan (07:53)
• Prostate Exam Experiences: Bryan shares cringe-worthy visits, anxiety, and a story about seeing a beautiful female physician assistant for a testicular check.
• Education with a Twist: Both encourage regular self-checks and health exams, wrapping serious advice in R-rated jokes.
• “You have your partner do it. Whatever. You guys make a play date out of it.” – Bryan (14:24)

4. Charity Shoutouts & Listener Swag (18:12–19:45)

• Brief interlude highlighting the ASPCA, National Breast Cancer Coalition Fund, and St. Jude as TCB’s featured charities this holiday.

5. Enter Christina: Holiday and Cat Updates (20:26–20:57)

• Christina shares news about a new kitten named Myrtle, which “came to her in a dream.”

6. Teresa Caputo Cold Reading Breakdown (21:00–56:08)

Set Up

• Bryan and Krissy tee up a scathing review of Teresa Caputo ("Long Island Medium") and her controversial “cold readings,” focusing on a broadcast from ABC7 in Chicago.
• “It’s a carnival trick. It’s a parlor trick, what she does.” – Bryan (20:57)
• Emphasis on how Caputo exploits grief and broad statements for profit.

Key Moments From the Caputo Segment

• Methodology Reveal: Critiques of Caputo’s “cold reading” technique: starting with ultra-broad questions, fishing for response, and pivoting rapidly (“Has anyone ever had a dead husband? Has your husband had legs?”).
  • “Has anybody's husband departed? In an audience of 100 people? Yes.” – Bryan (27:01)
• Physical Sensations: Caputo’s dramatic claims of physical sensations (“chest heaviness, throat tightness, numb legs”) as “spirit signals,” met with Bryan’s mocking impressions.
• Pivoting & Misses: When Caputo gets things wrong, she swiftly abandons the subject or makes the guess more general—leading to confusion and comedy gold.
  • “If you can't get it, you go backwards, you go more broad. So now she's back to the legs. Did anybody have any legs?” – Bryan (29:45)

Notable Quotes & Timestamps

• “She is so overtly racist. She's a scam artist and a fucking prejudiced human being.” – Bryan (53:32)
• Caputo stereotyping: “Some guy with a crazy haircut… designs shaved in the side?” Targeted at Black audience members, making Krissy and Christina visibly uncomfortable and angry. (50:19)
  • Christina: “The racism racist stuff is just really, really grinding my ears. She's looking at this young black woman, and she's like, yep, these three guys… they've got something shaved in their head. I'm like, you bitch.” (50:18–50:33)
• Mocking emotional “validations”: “I trusted you with my pocketbook and you took $5. I saw it!” – Bryan (33:52)

Technique Analysis

• Bryan, Krissy, and Christina break down cold reading strategies: info-fishing, rapid topic switches, relying on desperation, and always “validating” people’s choices.
  • “She needs to drive the narrative because the second that she lets someone else do that, she's in La la land and it doesn't work.” – Bryan (47:10)
• Repeated observations that Caputo ignores anyone who doesn’t fit her guesses, then pivots to new, even vaguer targets.

Ethics and Emotion

• Impassioned denouncement: Bryan rails against Caputo’s exploitation of grief and A&E’s role in airing such dubious content.
  • “As long as she gets the win, everybody else takes the loss.” – Bryan (48:00)
  • “You are making money on the backs of people who are vulnerable in shitty situations.” – Bryan (53:32)
• Despite (or because of) the irreverence, the segment ends as a surprisingly pointed critique of exploitation on reality TV.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Teresa Caputo’s Methods:
  "If I'm stuck in some kind of purgatory where I'm flying in and out of Theresa's hair, I'm gonna be pissed." – Bryan (39:42)
• On Health Exams:
  “By ringing the bell… the outcome can be explosive, if you know what I mean.” – Bryan (12:02)
• On Caputo’s Broad Tactics:
  “Is your brother, a friend or a cousin… do you know someone that would refer to as a noun?” – Bryan (43:14)
• On Exploitation:
  “Now this poor lady, if she believes in this, is gonna go home and think… if she had just realized that the fall… caused an aneurysm, then everything would be okay. But at least Teresa looks good on local Chicago morning news.” – Bryan (48:00)
• On Racism:
  “She did that on another show… your casual, absolutely obvious racism is insulting and disgusting.” – Bryan (49:56)

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Segment Timestamps

• 00:30–03:27 – TCB holiday publishing and wardrobe
• 03:27–06:50 – Family stories, Ring doorbell anecdotes
• 06:50–14:47 – Doctor checkups (“the bell ringing” and other health misadventures)
• 18:12–19:45 – Charity shoutout and swag
• 20:26 – Christina joins, new cat “Myrtle”
• 21:00–56:08 – Deep dive into Teresa Caputo’s cold reading; segment analysis and critique
  • 24:03 – Caputo cold reading begins
  • 27:01 – “Has anyone's husband departed?” showcase
  • 29:45 – Bryan analyzes Caputo’s pivot responses
  • 33:52 – “Pocketbook” validation riff
  • 39:42 – Afterlife/purgatory capers
  • 48:00 – “Everybody else takes the loss” commentary
  • 50:18 – Christina/crew discuss Caputo’s racial stereotyping
  • 53:32 – Bryan’s impassioned close

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Tone & Style

• Irreverent Comedy: Bold, freewheeling, and highly self-aware. No topic is too crude or too taboo.
• Razor-Sharp Satire: Especially in the analysis of Caputo’s methods; mockery with a sting of righteous anger.
• Conversational & Unfiltered: Listeners feel like part of a raucous living room hangout.

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Summary for New Listeners

If you haven’t tuned into The Commercial Break, this episode is a perfect storm of TCB’s holiday chaos: weird family tales, TMI health stories, roasting internet oddities, and a no-holds-barred, play-by-play takedown of Teresa Caputo’s media persona and tactics. Their banter is crass but caring—a reminder that laughter (and skepticism) is sometimes the best medicine. Definitely skip it if you’re a Caputo fan or allergic to dark humor. For everyone else: “Best to you… and best to you out there in the podcast universe.”

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(End of Summary)

Transcript

[A]

Probably sit around and cook some soups.

[B]

And eat bread and desserts and just.

[A]

Get all fat and sassy. The next episode of the commercial break starts now. Ho, ho, ho. Oh, yeah. My little dancers and prancers. Welcome back to the commercial break. I'm Brian Green. This is the Krampus to my claws, Kristen Joy Hoadley. Best to you, Kristen.

[B]

Best to you, Brian.

[A]

Out there in the podcast universe continuing our adventure into 20 straight days of the commercial break for purely commercial reasons. So thank you for joining us. We really appreciate it. A lot of great feedback from the audience. So far, so good. Apparently, some people decorating while they're listening to the 12 days of TCB, some people getting away from the political pods they were listening to. And then November happened and we all got depressed and stopped listening to anything political.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

And some other people just enjoying the fact that they have a new episode of TCV every fucking day of the week. It was kind of weird to look in my Spotify and see an episode pop up on, like, a Sunday.

[C]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

The Sunday was the first, right?

[A]

What's that?

[B]

The Sunday was the first.

[A]

No, Friday was our first episode. Yeah. No, no, just enjoy. Holy.

[B]

No, I meant the first Sunday we've ever published.

[A]

Oh, certainly the first Sunday we've ever published on purpose. The first Sunday we've ever published. Yes, that's correct. I think way, way, way, way, way early on, I believe we were publishing on Mondays at first. Am I right about that?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And I think I accidentally released episodes on Sundays because I didn't know how to work it. I also accidentally released episodes unedited or poorly edited or with all the bits and parts we should have edited out in. And so I've corrected all that. It just took me a couple years to get to. So anyway, thank you for all the kind words. We really appreciate it. 212-4333. TCB. In case you want to text us and let us know what you're doing this holiday season. The young lady who had the 21 EPM sticker brown out. Yes, yes, she contacted us. She did. She said, I heard your call, your siren song on the commercial break and I would like a new sticker. So we're going to send her a new sticker. If your 21 EPM sticker has browned out, let us know and we'll send you a new one.

[B]

It's due to eco reasons. You know, we were trying. Astrid was trying to be very. Not economically. Environment.

[A]

No, that's what I was going to say. Eco reasons. Meaning economical reasons. We only paid a dollar for a sticker.

[B]

Environmental reasons.

[A]

Yes, environmental reasons is what Astrid has come up with to cover our tr. So thank you, Astrid, for covering our truck. How was your weekend? I mean, we're recording this now when we're getting back from the weekend. So. How was your weekend?

[B]

It was wonderful. We went to the botanical gardens, do a big lights display.

[A]

Oh, you went to the botanical garden? Yes. Oh, how exciting.

[B]

And that's where I got these. Our beautiful necklaces.

[A]

Yes, Christmas bulb necklaces. They are just delicious. Thank you so much. As if we need another light up thing in this house. But yes, I've got.

[B]

I brought it because you're not wearing anything to do with Christmas.

[A]

I've run out of Christmas.

[B]

That's what I thought. That's why I brought these.

[A]

I know. And rather than just rinse and repeat all of the three Christmas related things that I have, I decided let me just dress regular and then I'll put on a hat or something like that.

[B]

And then I brought these.

[A]

Yeah, I. The 12 days of TCB wasn't well thought out in the wardrobe department and barely thought out in the content department. Yeah, we're getting there.

[B]

Yeah, that's on the fly.

[A]

We're getting there. Uh, Kristen and Jeff called me. I got in kind of a tizzy. So my twin brother came over to spend the night on Friday.

[B]

Oh, nice.

[A]

Uh, because his fiance, his new fiance, kicked him out of his own house. Yes, because that's what you do when you're newly engaged. You say fuck you leave your own house.

[B]

It took two weeks.

[A]

It didn't even take. I don't even think it was two weeks. I think it was a week and a half and Kevin's already out on the street. But if you were engaged to Kevin, then you'd probably kick him out too. So Carrie Ann has this like, girls party that she does every year. And so she did it at Kevin's house this year. Well, he has a townhouse, so I think there's a little more room to spread your wings. And there's two things that are really funny about this. And then I'll get to to you. Number one, Kevin comes over and he is. Seems like he's way in the holiday spirit. And I'm like, what? He, what happened? Kevin, you know, he said, listen, when the girls got there, I just decided to stay for a few drinks. Of course I had to have a few drinks with her friends. And I said, oh, so you're, you know. He got lubed up A little bit. But then the. His. The favorite sport over the night became look at the ring came and see who's drunk. Leaving that part. That part. I'm telling you what. It was high entertainment. High entertainment.

[B]

You and Kevin.

[A]

Yes. We were watching the ring doorbell cam to watch the ladies come in and out of the party as they were exiting for the night. And it was high entertainment.

[B]

I bet it was.

[A]

And this is a sport I haven't gotten into yet, but this made me think of you because I want access to your ring doorbell camera. Because I know that's probably the best ring doorbell available anywhere in the city of Atlanta is Chrissy and Jeff. I will bet you at least twice a year Chrissy and or Jeff are caught on ring doorbell sans clothing. I will bet you at least twice a year that happens.

[B]

That's probably true.

[A]

You guys do some midnight garden gardening in the buff. I know it happens. Well, in the summer, you can't, you know, hey, listen, we live in Atlanta. You can be excused for, you know, going sans clothing in the summer.

[C]

Exactly.

[A]

I know this happens. So it's like 10:30 at night, and I can see that my phone is ringing, but I'm laying with one of the kids, trying to put them to bed, and it's Jeff, also known as Jeff Hoadley. In my phone. Jeff doesn't have a last name. He's just Jeff Hoadley. And so I was like, wow, Jeff's calling. Something must be happening with Chrissy. He must be trying to get. I thought he was out of town. So I was like, oh, he must be trying to get ahold of Chrissy or there's some emerg.

[B]

Meanwhile, I'm naked outside doing gardening.

[A]

Meanwhile, Chrissy's trimming her tree with her trim. She's got. It's a trim trim. That's a trim trimming. So I immediately text back. I can't answer because I'm with. I don't want to wake my. Even if there is an emergency, I don't want to wake my kids up. So fuck Chrissy. I got to keep the kids asleep. But I'm like, hey, Jeff, what's going on? Is everything okay? Is there an emergency? And he says, oh, yeah, man, I'm just sitting here with Chrissy.

[B]

Well, then you texted me.

[A]

Well, I texted both of you. I texted both of you because I needed. I needed the 411 immediately. There was a drama drop coming, and I needed to know. You know what I'm saying? I thought this might be the night when I Have to wake everybody up and say, I've got to go down to Atlanta because Chrissy's in trouble. But it wasn't that night. It was just Jeff wondering if I had ever had my bell rung by a doctor. And I'm like, what are you talking about?

[B]

Things. And I was like, there's no way. And he goes, just ask any man. And I go, what man am I going to ask? Like, I'm not going to ask my dad. And I was like, I'm pretty sure Brian would have talked about this. He was like, I'm calling him right now. I was like, he's not going to answer. Answer. The kids are with the kids?

[A]

Yeah, the kids.

[B]

I knew you weren't gonna answer.

[A]

You don't call me after 7 o' clock at night for any reason.

[B]

And you didn't. And then the text messages ensued and you did in fact confirm.

[A]

I confirm that you do get your bell rung by the doctor. Now, the prostate check is very infrequent. Now you. They usually do not do that because they have found that rubbing your finger over the prostate just causes unnecessary erections.

[B]

I was like, I've seen it in Fletcher, you know, when they do the check then. But I was like, were you supposed to be like. As a teenager.

[A]

Yeah. I thought that Jeff was talking about sticking the finger in the rear. Yes. But you. Oh, I thought it was the grabbing the ball and coughing. It was both, yes. Oh, yeah. There's two separate. There's two separate molestations that go on. Right.

[B]

That's what I was like, what kind of doctor did you have? What was happening?

[A]

Well, listen, it, I mean, you can hardly blame a doctor. Listen, it's boring in a doctor's office. I got a cold, I got the sniffles, got snot, my back hurts. Every once in a while they get a young, strong, strapping lad in there and you know, slaying their bells is the best thing that they, you know, it's a little, it's a little break from in the monotony. So you can hardly blame them. Yeah, that's like, you know, old fashioned pedoing when, you know, you're just a little ball tingling. Then never hurt anybody. Under the guise of a medical butt fingering. Little finger in the butt never hurt anybody. I mean, listen, I.

[B]

It did sound right to me.

[A]

It is absolutely incorrect. And it only took them 300 years to realize.

[B]

He was like googling and he's like, look. Yeah, see, it's on the Google. Like it could be men and Women and blah, blah. I was like, I never had that, son. And I was like, what? What?

[A]

Since when do they start sticking their fingers in women's anuses? There's no prostate back there. No, no, no, no, no. When I was 30 years old, I got my first bell ringing. And it is.

[B]

You'd call it the bell ringing.

[A]

I call it the bell ringing.

[B]

I hadn't heard that one.

[A]

It does ring like a bell. It is a weird sensation that some people find quite pleasurable. Right. I do not. It wasn't. It felt very uncomfortable to me. And as a matter of fact, at times, my doctor had to tell me to relax. The last time I had this, somebody.

[B]

They'Re like, lube squirting.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. Warm lube.

[B]

Gloves.

[A]

Warm lube. If they're being gentle. Yeah. If your friends, they'll do warm lube. There's a. There's a glove that goes on, and it is maybe 20 seconds, whole operation.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But it feels like three minutes. Right? It feels like a long time. And the last time that I had this done.

[B]

The whole hand up there, doc.

[A]

Yeah. The last time I had this done was at the urologist, because I have a family history of prostate cancer, so it was important. And early prostate cancer, so it was important for me. This is why 21 EPM sticker even exists.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

It was important for me to make sure that I was getting checked frequently as a young man. And so I have a urologist. And I went to him for the first time and he said, well, listen, this is not like a predeterminative test, but by feeling the nature of your prostate, by feeling whether or not it's hard or soft.

[B]

Oh, a hard or soft.

[A]

Yeah, hard or soft. And then they rub it to make sure it's smooth. Right. So they take their finger and they do a little window washing, so to speak. They go up there, they wash the windows. Quadruple fister. That's right. And so the last time that I had this done, the doctor took his finger out and he goes, was it tight because you're not relaxed or is it tight? Is that normally how it is? And I was like, what are you talking about? Did you expect it to be loose? Did you want it to be loose, Doctor, he asked me that question, and I said, I think I'm just a little nervous.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

When they touch your prostate like that. Let me go back one second. When I'm 25, 26 years old, I get invited to basically the Breath of Fire Kundalini cult.

[B]

That's right.

[A]

And in the Kundalini Cult, I'm in the tantric sex yoga shop, the level one that they talk about inside of this documentary on hbo. I actually went to, like, an offshoot of this. And as an offshoot of that offshoot, they say at the beginning, they say, listen, if anybody wants to stay for the live prostate massage, the live prostate massage retreat, it'll happen directly. The retreat. There's a retreat. And if you can find a partner, then you can also follow along with. Right. So you can imagine first of all, the sights, smells, and sounds that were going on at the prostate.

[B]

Did you stay for the retreat?

[A]

Oh, fuck no. Fuck no. That was a bridge too far, Chrissy. A bridge too far.

[B]

That's when you're like, okay, and I'm done.

[A]

No, I was done. The Kundalini yoga was enough. It was a tantric and there was no, like, un. I guess maybe some people might imagine a tantric yoga workshop would be all about sex. And there is talk of sex, but there is no sex. At least not in. At least not in the beginning. Level two, they go for it. So. So what I heard from the more, I guess, prostate enthusiasts in the room was that by ringing the bell, you can ring the bell and the outcome can be explosive, if you know what I mean. Right. There can really be a release that goes on there. And so the bell ringing is the finger in the finger in the butt. Yeah, that's the bell ringing. No, let's call that the jingle bells. There's the jingle bells and then the bell ringing. All right, the jingle bells is grab your nuts and cough. Turn your head and cough. And then the finger in the butt is the bell ring. Both important parts of men's health, by the way. At least until recently when they stopped bringing your bell because they figured out that it was just old fashioned peto ing. All right, so this. This happens when I'm 25, 26 years old, and then I know of the prostate massage community and what goes on in there. And then when I get my first bell ringing, I was so nervous that I was gonna jizz all over the doctor's office.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[A]

Started to clamp up.

[B]

I thought it was just gonna be like a touch.

[A]

I didn't know. Well, apparently sometimes that happens. Apparently sometimes you just go in and it goes out, Right? It go. They're in, you're out, everyone's happy. I guess. I don't know. And so I'd like to ask Doc Scott about this.

[B]

Maybe I was gonna say maybe you should have Stayed for the retreat.

[A]

He was at the retreat.

[B]

I'm sure. Swear to God, I'm sure.

[A]

So in that. Okay, so ever since then, it's not the most pleasurable thing in the world to me, but it has get. It has been done less frequently as the years have gone on because doctors say we have now decided that this is not a great way to determine whether or not you have prostate. Yeah, you just take some blood and they can tell it in your cells. But don't let that stop him from a good time. Let's torture Brian with the bell ringing. Now, there's the other thing that he's talking about, which is the jingle bells, the jingle balls.

[B]

The cough. Coffin balls.

[A]

The coffin balls. Now, this is really important, and men should do this frequently, is you should examine your own testicles for lumps, bumps, or otherwise weird things that are going on. This is super important. And you have your partner do it. Whatever. You guys make a play date out of it. I mean, I guess it's not great. If you actually do discover a lump, then it kind of kills the mood. But you can start off that way, right?

[B]

Yes.

[A]

So this. So the doctor coughs. You can. You can grab someone's jingle bells and you can hold them, and then when they cough, it can determine whether or not the prostate is working effectively as the balls go up or down. That's what I understand, because I'm not a doctor, but I stayed at a Holiday Inn last night, and then they may squish them around a little bit just to feel what's going on. I went to a doctor. I was just telling you this. I went to a doctor one time. I was having terrible back pain, and it started. I didn't know this at the time, but that terrible back pain. I was also then having terrible testicular pain in one of my nuts in my left nut. So I was like, oh, shit, do I have something very serious? Do I have cancer? Because I know that these things can be, you know, you can feel pain in your back when you have testicular cancer or vice versa. So I go to the doctor. I call the doctor's office. I want to get in there immediately. The doctor is not available. The doctor is booked up, but they say there's a physician's assistant and she would be happy to see you. Well, okay. She. All right. So I'm thinking, you know, grandma's going to come in, talk to me about this, and we're all going to go, you know, we're all going to leave happy, or I'm Going to get a follow up. What appears. This is like when I was like 35 years old. What appears from behind the door? You know, they knock on the door, Mr. Green, you know, open the door. Hi, I'm physician assistant. You know, Elle McPherson. I mean, the woman. Dua Lipa. I'm physician assistant.

[B]

I have a history of this happening. Because when you got your colonic.

[A]

When I got my colonic, also a beautiful woman. It was the most. One of the most beautiful women I've ever seen in my entire life was sticking a tube up my ass to flush out the seven layer burrito from top of the.

[B]

Mexican.

[A]

Yeah. What are you eating? I don't know. What are you doing next Friday? So you come here often? I don't know. How's my hairy asshole looking? What emerged from behind the door was just a lovely lady. I mean, she was just beautiful, in my opinion. And then I was like, oh, here we go. And so now I have to tell her the problem, right? Not that it's that I know she's a medical professional. So I was explaining to her. But what I didn't expect was what came next, which was not me. It was, hey, why don't we take a look? Let me do an examination and I'll make sure there's nothing there to be concerned about. I'll have to call someone in to do that. As is medically appropriate, right.

[B]

To be a witness in there.

[A]

And then who came in was one of the nurses, A nice young gentleman that I had known for many years going to this doctor's office. I think he thought that I was cute. That was my assumption. But they took great joy in making me uncomfortable that day by spending a little extra time jingling my balls. There was no bell ringing but the jingling of the. Of the balls. And luckily, there was nothing to be concerned about. It ended up that my back pain was referring that testicular pain. And when they took care of the back pain, the testicular pain went away. But this is all very important to talk about with your husbands and your boyfriends and.

[B]

Yes, there is.

[A]

Especially around Christmas. You know, it's a time when we all get together and we love each other. I hope you're sitting by the fire right now.

[B]

Trimming the tree.

[A]

When we were prepping you for the 12 days of TCB, we said, gather around the yule log and listen to Brian talk about his balls. It happened. It actually happened. It was. It was. We were foreshadowing the entire time.

[B]

Yeah, we didn't even plan that either.

[A]

Oh, my God. That was just. That was just lovely, wasn't it? Isn't everyone having a good time on the 12 days of TCB? Now that you've thrown up your lunch, you could go back to work or that burrito. Yeah, that's right. It's time for a break. Okay, good. All right. We have got some great stuff for you today on the 12 Days of TCB, reviewing all of the wonderful things we've done in 2024. All of your favorites are favorites. Teresa Caputo makes the list of any season and she's back. And I've got her in more, more hilarious hijinks from Theresa Caputo. But before we go, I want to remind you that we're focusing right now on some charities. Those charities, that charity that we're focusing on right now is the aspca. The ASPCA does God's work with animals. And when they're left or abandoned or they're sick or they're just given up because someone can't take care of them, the ASPCA does their best to care for those animals. They also do, you know, investigations into animal crimes and stuff like that. So I like the aspca.

[B]

I love the aspca.

[A]

A couple of our listeners wrote in when we were asking them, and they said the ASPCA was important to them. There's a link in the show notes. Please go and donate. If you do donate and you want to send a screenshot to us, we'll be happy to send you some TCB swag. We have nothing to do with the money exchange. Just go there, click the link. It'll take you directly to where you can donate. National Breast Cancer coalition fund and St. Jude, we're also focusing on. We'll throw a fourth one in there. Before it's all said and done, we'll throw a fourth one in there. So donate to one of those causes this Christmas and make some folks happy. Let's take a break and yeah, we'll be back.

[D]

Holidays getting you down. Family acting out of pocket. Text us and tell us all about it at 212-4333, TCB. Or leave us a voicemail with all of the unhinged and or spicy details. And then follow us on Instagram hecommercial break and on TikTokcbpodcast. If you need a laugh or an escape, you can always escape for a full hour and watch our YouTube videos at YouTube.com thecommercial break while you simultaneously peruse our website, tcbpodcast.com to find out all there is to know about Brian and Chrissy. Now let's hear from our sponsors so we can afford the holidays this year.

[A]

Okay, Christina in studio with us today. Merry Christmas, Christina.

[D]

Merry Christmas to you and your balls.

[B]

And cheers to you and your new kitten.

[D]

Thank you.

[B]

Speaking of the animal, I gave birth.

[A]

Speaking of aspca Myrtle. It's very sweet.

[D]

I now have Myrtle and Ruby.

[A]

Why Myrtle? Because of the street Myrtle.

[D]

No, honestly, it came to me in a dream.

[A]

Oh, it did? Oh, here we go.

[D]

It took me in a dream one night and I said I must have a. Another one. And her name is Myrtle.

[B]

There you go.

[A]

There you go.

[B]

Made it happen.

[D]

Yeah. And here we are.

[A]

Speaking of dreams, one of the people that we love discussing over any season of the commercial break is Teresa Caputo. The absolute shit show that is Teresa Caputo and her, I guess, con artisting. I don't know any other way to put it. Theresa, you know her, you love her. It's a carnival trick. It's a parlor trick, what she does. And especially the. What they call the cold readings, the live readings, where she will go into a group of people and then she will start to whittle those people down based on extraordinarily broad questions until someone connects with her on something likely because they are willing and they. They believe in this type of stuff. Anyway, I want to be clear. They want to believe. And of course they want to believe. When you lose somebody or someone's close to you or they think you think you're on the other side, you would do anything to talk to them one more time, to have them around one more time, to think that they're with you, be okay. Yeah.

[B]

Reassured.

[A]

And if someone can put a voice to that and a moment of desperation or vulnerability, then open the pocketbook, because here, Teresa Combs. Now, Teresa has not done a ton of cold readings live on television. And I can understand why, because there's a big opportunity for failure.

[B]

A lot of times it doesn't work.

[A]

Yes, that's right. So the deeper we get into the Teresa Caputo catalog, the harder it gets to find the cold readings. And let me explain why I like to do the cold readings more than the show. Because first of all, her team will copyright us immediately, even though we're not infringing upon our copyrights. But second of all, because the. The cold readings are such a huge opportunity for failure that she does so few of them. Yes. One of the places she seems to show up quite a bit is this local television station, ABC 7 in Chicago. For some reason, she's done like four or five of these cold readings there in Chicago on the station. Maybe it's because she has a hard time selling tickets there. Maybe it's because she sells a lot of tickets there and that's what she likes to go on. Because I'm sure that just like the comedians, she goes, yeah, she primes the local audience for this. She does have that weird television show where it's like a mix of slap, you know, slapstick comedy with, you know, people on the other side and show.

[B]

You mean her newer one.

[A]

She has had so many television shows.

[B]

The newer one is just crazy.

[A]

It's terrible.

[B]

She's like, like, stop driving hot dogs.

[A]

Yeah, I know. She's driving around in an RV with her assistant, stopping for a hot dog and then choking because someone's choking her and that's her sign for a dick down the throat. I don't know. I'm not sure, you know. And hey, listen, let us be clear about this for anybody because I know that we have listeners out there who actually like Teresa Caputo. It's okay to have differences. Totally cool. And I want to say I'm not totally discounting that energetically there may be spirits out there 100% that give you signs.

[B]

We just don't think that they're talking to Theresa.

[A]

Yeah. I just don't think it manifests itself in this wig. That's what I'm saying. In this high headed, you know, high haired loudmouth of a woman who is clearly taking advantage of people in their moment of desperation. So I want to do this. I found her on ABC7. You want to take a listen?

[B]

Let's do it.

[A]

Let's do it. Teresa caputo on the 12 days of tcb. Here we go.

[C]

That's the thing about my gift is that I never know what's going to happen.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

And you saw it before the last commercial break.

[A]

That's the thing about my gift. I never know when I'm going to fail and it's going to happen. Often notice. Look at her point. Like she's scratching the. Behind her ear.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Chrissy and I have always suspected that that hair is hiding my. Not only terrible.

[B]

Yeah. Earpiece.

[A]

It's hiding an earpiece so that she can talk to her production staff that is digging up dirt on the unsuspecting audience. Yes.

[C]

And that's the thing, like, I feel things. It's not a matter of, oh, is that my mother standing in front of you? That's not how it works. I just Start to feel.

[A]

That's not how it works. But that's. That's how you says it works. You're so fucking full of shit, Theresa.

[C]

Feel things. And I kept getting this heaviness in my chest. And then there was something about the throat. And then my legs started to get numb. So that's always my.

[A]

And then I fell over flat on my face.

[B]

And then my throat and then my legs.

[A]

Yes, Christina. Crisscross applesauce. There I was in the middle of Kroger. Crisscross Applesauce. And a lady pulled up to me with her little wagon, and she had ham in there. And I said, ham is the sign for a dead husband. So I said, do you have a dead husband? And she said, no, but I know she did. I know she did.

[B]

Anybody that has a dead husband?

[A]

That's right. Some people do. You know? Have you ever heard of a dead husband? Have you ever read a book with a dead husband? Some people just don't want to believe it. But that's okay. That's okay, Chrissy.

[C]

Well, for the number one is that someone didn't get the opportunity to say goodbye. And someone had a hard time letting go at the end. So I want to talk about which.

[B]

Could be the majority of the people that die.

[A]

It could be every person that has ever died. I mean, unless, you know, you're going. Unless it's clear that that's. And you get an opportunity to say.

[B]

Your goodbyes, which does, in fact, happen.

[A]

Sure, absolutely. But let's assume that most of us are going to wake up tomorrow and have no idea that it's coming. That's just the nature of life. If you don't have any idea it's coming, how are you going to say goodbye to the people that you love? This is such a broad start, and I noticed. Okay, just for those of you who are listening to this, she is sitting behind a table with two other Yakimos. And then she walked. All of a sudden, she just gets up from the table and starts walking. She's feeling it, Chrissy. Now there are people. She's getting piggy fronted.

[B]

I thought her legs were numb.

[A]

Well, they are numb. And she's choking on her throat. She's getting piggy fronted.

[C]

I figured that passed from something of the brain. She talks about the brain. Okay, as Teresa's doing this, we're. What?

[A]

Go ahead, Teresa.

[C]

What?

[A]

As Teresa's doing this, we're gonna go to a break.

[C]

How do you understand the brain? With the mom whose husband is departed, I go right to the Next soul your husband is departed.

[B]

What about the brain? Anybody to do with the brain?

[D]

Anybody would do the brain.

[B]

Nobody responded. So then she went to anybody's husband.

[A]

Does anybody have a head? Have you ever seen a. Have you seen a brain? Did you Google brain? Is anyone's husband departed? In an audience of 100 people? Yes. Has anybody's husband departed? And it happens to be the lady right in front of her. That's amazing.

[C]

And connect with the legs with your husband. Was he either bedridden or that he had an issue with the legs?

[B]

Can I put the legs with your husband? Can I match this? Can I match the legs that I'm seeing with your husband?

[A]

I'm playing a little pictionary in my head. Have you ever played the match game where you turn over the cards and you try and match the two? I'm matching the legs. Did he have a blue suit? A black suit? Did he ever wear pants? Has your husband had legs? Did your husband have legs?

[C]

They start to jump up and down. It means that they were restricted or they had some type of disability and. Or ailment with the legs.

[B]

Why? Because they're all of a sudden excited to use them.

[A]

Nothing says disabled of the legs like jumping up and down.

[D]

That's fast.

[B]

Yeah, I guess they're excited to be able to use them now.

[A]

Oh, hey, listen, in the afterlife, anything's possible. Chrissy.

[B]

No, it was sudden, okay?

[A]

She said, did he die of a disease that took him a long time? Because. No, it was sudden.

[C]

I'm gonna go to the. See, this is what happens. Remember when I said to you before, what happens is.

[A]

Remember when I said to you before about the bullshit? Look over here, look over here, look over here. Pretty shiny thing over here, pretty over there. Do you remember when I look at.

[B]

My claws for nails? My God, those things are long.

[A]

Well, when you're dealing with the spirits. When you're dealing with the spirits, you have to get many manicures.

[B]

I don't think she's ringing anybody's bell.

[A]

Oh, you. You don't even know. Chrissy, when I see. When I'm. When I see someone ringing a bell, you know what that means? That means they did not have a chance to fart before they died. That's it. They needed to take a good shit. It's like Elvis. Elvis died because he didn't get his bell rung. That's right. Did you know that? Okay, now remember, everybody, when I was talking before about the bullshit and the line. This is the part where I do that, okay? Just checking.

[C]

Souls come in, they all want to talk at one time.

[A]

You're all talking, they're all fucking each other. Coming in on that one.

[B]

This is Bombardment.

[A]

Yes. It's like a big pile of souls.

[B]

Legs are over here, arms are over here.

[A]

Yes. It's the coachella of brains. Yes.

[B]

Chrissy flying around.

[A]

Oh, it's a Travis Scott concep it.

[C]

Loved ones. So that kind of gives them that. So.

[B]

So she's completely abandoned, this woman that she was talking to.

[A]

Yeah. Because she saw that she wasn't going anywhere with the lady. She got it wrong. And this is how cold reading happens. You do broad and then you move on. Yeah. And if you can't get it, you go backwards, you go more broad. So now she's back to the legs. Did anybody have any legs?

[B]

That one woman's like, but what about me? My husband did die and I want.

[A]

To talk to you. Yeah. She's like, wait, can we go to my dead husband? Do you mind? Would you mind talking to my dead husband?

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Meanwhile, Johnny on the spot here with the microphone. Look at him.

[C]

Uh huh. You know, your mother is the one that I was picking up with the brain. And your mother tells me that you had to make a lot of choices and decisions connected to her departure. Is that correct? Yes, she is, because she showed me the light switch, which means that you had to make choices and you weren't.

[A]

Okay, but you just said you don't see anything. You just feel it. But now they're showing you the light switch. And by the way, why are you wearing the ruby red slippers from wizard of Oz? Why is that happening?

[C]

Sure. And now you're going back and you're saying, maybe if I didn't do this, maybe if I switched this doctor or brought her to this hospital, that my mom would still be here. Or maybe she wouldn't have. Did you just get the chills or the goosebumps? Yes, that was your mother's soul that just went through.

[A]

Know that she's breezing by you right now. Know that there's. There's a bit of flatulence in the. That's your mother. Her last flatulence. Did you have to make some hard decisions about your mother's health care? I mean, this is. I knew it was you. I knew it was you. Who doesn't make tough decisions about a loved one's health care at the end?

[B]

Yeah, exactly. Or wonder if you had gone to another hospital or another doctor or something like that, things could have turned out differently.

[A]

You're so intuitive, Chrissy. So intuitive.

[C]

Well, to validate that you made all of the right choices and decisions, what.

[A]

Happens is when spirit notice that every dead person is just happy that they that all the decisions were made correctly. They want everyone relieved. If someone made a decision that ended up in my death. I don't care if I'm in the afterlife. I'm pissed off.

[C]

I know.

[A]

And I'm letting Theresa know. Let those shitheads know.

[B]

Tell them they did the wrong thing.

[A]

Yes, if we would have just gone to Dr. Pavlov, we would have been fine.

[C]

Certain things, like your mom is doing, it's because you're carrying that negative emotion which is not giving you the ability to heal.

[D]

Yes.

[C]

Your mother shows me her pocketbook. So did you keep her pocketbook or do you still have her things inside the pocketbook?

[A]

Have you been stealing from your mother's pocketbook? She knows you've been taking things from her pocketbook. Her mother shows me a pocketbook. Oh, Theresa, you are the thing that gets me every fucking time is even in an audience of 100 people, people, there are still 2, 4, 6 that desperately believe this. Of course, desperately believe it.

[B]

To believe.

[A]

And these are the same people feel.

[B]

Relieved that they did do everything okay.

[A]

I don't fault them.

[B]

Is that. Yeah, I don't fault their person's okay.

[A]

I fault her. I fault her for knowing she's full of shit and continuing the scam. Continuing the scam. She is literally. I mean, I don't know if she's selling out anything, but she is literally showing up to theaters where there's a thousand seats and getting 700 people in there to pay 49.95 to see her do this dance. And by the way, reviews are in and even though they keep it pretty tight, they don't allow filming of any kind, any audio. There are a few people who have taken videos inside of the room and it's pretty amazing how wrong she gets most of the stuff. This whole dance that she's doing right now, at least on a few of the videos, it. It takes her some time, 40 minutes to get onto something. Like she really stumbles around and she gets pissed at the crowd. That's what happens. You don't believe me. I don't care if you believe me. This is, you know. Yeah, it's just. It's ugly. The whole situation is ugly.

[C]

Is that correct?

[A]

I do perfect.

[C]

I asked for these little crazy things because I'm the first one to say what I do. I do absolute crazy. How can someone communicate with someone that has died. But to bring up something, if I.

[A]

Talk fast enough, no one will know.

[C]

That I'm full of shit that nobody would know about. To validate that, she said, because I trusted you with all of my decisions, and you did make all the.

[A]

I trusted you with my pocketbook and you took $5. I saw it.

[C]

Choices, she says, and I know how hard it was for you to say goodbye to me. She says, and I want you to know that I knew that you were by my bedside.

[B]

Who's not gonna be hard to say goodbye? I mean.

[A]

Can I. Can I ask a question?

[B]

It was so easy. I was ready to see them go.

[A]

I can't listen to Christina and Chrissy at the same time talk. How is she listening to multiple spirits and communicating with another human being at the same time? Oh, it's so annoying.

[C]

Holding me, fixing my hair and kissing me goodbye and telling me that it was okay to let go, that you would be fine. She goes, theresa, I kept my end of the bargain. I let go. But my daughter is a mess. Is that correct?

[A]

Correct?

[C]

Yes. So your mother says.

[A]

Is that correct? Am I giving you any other option? Am I. Am I giving you a chance to speak? No. Yes and no. That's all she asks. Yes and no.

[C]

You need to hold up your end of the bargain by. Because you told me that you would be okay. Now, were you just reading your mom's. I don't know if she had a journal or, like, her address book. Address book, perfect.

[A]

Her address book.

[C]

She goes, I don't even know why she's reading it. Half the people are dead in that book. She goes, why is she still halfway the address book? So now that when you were.

[A]

Cha Ching, another 49.95 and a daughter, too. I smell Caputo merch going out the door.

[C]

Reading through your mom's address book, know that her soul was with you at that exact moment. She says, it's okay to let go of certain things. Understand that. Yes. Is your father also departed as well? Yes. So know that he's stepping forward. She just kept telling me.

[A]

Now he's piggy fronting. He's stepping forward. He's saying, keep the address book. You might need it for a rainy day. He's also saying, stop stealing from your mother's pocketbook. He's also saying, you made all the wrong decisions with me.

[C]

Sit down. She goes, oh, don't worry. That's not our daughter.

[A]

Just sit. Sit, sit. Also, funny about your dead parents.

[C]

We'll be right back with more with Theresa Coming up after this.

[A]

Okay, that's a good time. Is that a good time for us to take a break too? I'd love to it. They're prompting us for our break too.

[B]

I like it.

[A]

Okay, ASPCA link in the show notes. Please donate to a good cause this Christmas. We've got a few of them, so check them out in the show notes and we certainly would appreciate it. We'll be back with more. Teresa, hi.

[D]

You know what time it is, so let's get to it. Pull that phone out of your pocket and follow us on Instagram at the commercial break and on TikTok for now, I guess at TC you can also find all of our video content that we're filming in our brand new [e-mail] TheCommercialBreak so check it out and throw us a follow a. Like a comment, whatever you can spare. If you want to get in touch with us, you can always text us or call us and leave us a voicemail at 212-4333, TCB. Now, I have one last request. During the 12 or 263 days of TCB. Check out our featured charities and donate to them if you can this holiday season. All right, let's take a listen to our sponsors and get back to the show.

[A]

Now, you wish there was an HR department, don't you?

[C]

Was your husband not feeling well prior to his departure? Just a little. I don't care if it was two days before.

[A]

He's like, oh, I don't give a shit. You're going to answer yes to me, I'm coming back to you.

[B]

Yeah, well, she had some time to kind of formulate what she was gonna say to this other woman.

[A]

Yes, that's correct. She was missing out on that. And so now she's coming back because she doesn't wanna leave it open ended because then people will be like, but what about that first woman she talked to? She got it wrong.

[C]

A headache or I don't feel good, I feel short of breath. And then he just died.

[A]

Oh, I don't care if he had a headache, a hangnail, an ingrown hair. Was he feeling ill?

[B]

Did he stub his toe?

[A]

And don't lie to me because your husband's gonna tell me the truth.

[C]

No, but my father couldn't move his leg.

[A]

No, but my father one time was sick with the flu. That's it. Your father's now stepping forward. Is he dead? No. Oh, well, it's your mother that's stepping forward.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

But my husband died quite a While ago.

[C]

It doesn't matter to me. As long as they're dead, that's all that matters. It doesn't matter if they're gone.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[A]

With such sensitivity and a daft touch.

[B]

Doesn't matter to me.

[A]

Doesn't matter how dead they are. If they're dead. Listen, it's like kind of being pregnant doesn't work that way.

[C]

Five days, five years, 50 years. Do you understand that? Yes, but do you? They got me to then come. What happens is they make me feel these things you didn't acknowledge. I go to the next soul. So it's that.

[A]

So they make me feel these things. And she pointed toward her vagina, she goes, they make me feel these things. Your father's a real fucking perv. Your husband. He's in my box. He's all up in my grill.

[C]

We're dating for you. So your dad had the issue with his legs when spirit brings up a disability.

[A]

Well, he didn't have any issues with his legs, but his penis didn't work.

[C]

So fantastic toward the end or ailment. They don't want us to remember them sick.

[A]

Right?

[C]

So it's their way of saying, I want you to remember me healthy. And your husband is validating because he passed sudden and unexpected. Is that correct?

[D]

Yes.

[A]

Yeah. She just told you that. She just told you that. Mm.

[C]

But yet not feeling well prior up to. But not really making a big deal about it.

[B]

Correct.

[C]

So knowing that there was nothing that we could have done to have prevented the departure. Your husband is departed as well, ma'.

[A]

Am.

[C]

Okay. Your husband says, I want to take this opportunity to thank you.

[A]

Why are all. All the ghosts are thanking everybody? I'm being serious. There's not an angry ghost in all the land.

[B]

No, not at all.

[A]

If I'm in that, I guarantee. If I'm stuck in some kind of purgatory where I'm flying in and out of Theresa's hair, I'm gonna be pissed. I'm gonna be like, is this really the bitch I've got? It's so there's somebody else out there.

[C]

He said, I never thanked you. He says, you knew that I. How much I loved you. He says, but I want to thank you for the way that you cared for me. Do you understand that?

[A]

Yes, I do. He was a son of a bitch, but there was an occasion where I guess we were okay.

[C]

And I wish I had that opportunity to tell you that. He said, and how much I appreciated everything that you did for me. Your husband was ill prior to his Departure, ma'?

[A]

Am. No, he was. Was fine. We both been smoking since we were 12. Course things were different back then. I think you're up to witchcraft and I don't care for it much. But I guess I'll listen to you because that's the polite thing to do.

[C]

Cuz he shows me how you cared for him. Like in a nursing capacity. Cuz he's like, wife did things for me that a wife shouldn't have to do.

[A]

And that means I wiped his balls when they got on them.

[B]

Oh my God.

[A]

I don't know where that came from. I'm so sorry. Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah and all that jazz.

[C]

Interesting capacity. And was your husband not the same in the end, ma'? Am? Cause he put a food tray in front of me and then threw it at me. That's my symbol with that personality changes because of an illness or a disability.

[A]

In front of.

[B]

And then threw it at me.

[A]

He didn't much care for my Salisbury steaks. I made mashed potatoes with Osnik in them. And he got sick toward the end. He was a real. You'd make the mashed potatoes with Osnic if you knew him too. You white.

[C]

So he says, and I'm sorry, he says, but I want you to know how much I love you and more importantly, how much I appreciated everything that you did for me. He goes, and my wife makes a mean pie. So I don't know. You make good pie.

[A]

He's referring to my pussy.

[D]

Brian leans.

[B]

First of all, she's also really stereotyping this woman who is a lovely black woman. Older woman.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Larger. And saying, I bet you make. She makes a great pie.

[A]

Yeah. Theresa's been known to do this. She's very racist, I think, if you ask me. But you know, I guess that's an opinion that's never been proven in court.

[C]

It was like a shepherd's pie or like a pecan pie or. How do you understand that?

[A]

You understand it was a Drano pie.

[B]

Some sort of pie. Shepherds.

[A]

He didn't have taste buds at the end. All the cigarettes, smoking.

[C]

As long as you understand it, that's all I care about. And where is the brother come in. That's departed or somebody like a brother, good friend, cousin.

[B]

Is your brother a friend or a cousin?

[A]

I shot him.

[B]

The departed brother or someone that's like the brother or a cousin or a.

[A]

Friend, an uncle, any noun. Do you know and do you know someone that would refer to as a noun?

[C]

Brother in law died recently. Perfect. So know that I'M very sorry.

[A]

Perfect. Thank you. Congratulations on the ducks. Yes.

[C]

But know that he's taken this opportunity to step forward as well. Did somebody fall? Who fell? Because I. I felt like I fell. And then that was.

[A]

Well, I did push Uncle Gene down the stairs, but there was an argument involved and things got a little heated. It was over my pie.

[C]

The beginning of my downfall.

[A]

The beginning of his downfall was an actual fall. It was an actual downfall. That's a little strange.

[B]

This woman's not registered.

[A]

Yeah, no, she's not. I'm not sure she's registered since 1980.

[B]

She just shook her head.

[A]

She just shook her head. She said, no, that didn't happen.

[C]

You understand that?

[B]

You understand that?

[A]

Do you? Next to her. Do you understand that? How about two rows up and to the left? Do you understand that? Is there anybody who understands that?

[C]

Was there something that I said before that you understood?

[A]

Was there anything that I've said previously that you might have understood which included anything? Yeah, I know that's a pretty broad statement. Did you understand anything?

[C]

Told me to look at you. Really? Yeah.

[A]

Yeah, really. Well, I don't like to be looked at.

[C]

Something that I said before. Spirit had me say to you, like, hmm, I wonder if that's my loved one. Well, you know, I have a lot of deaths that have occurred in my.

[A]

Past, and so just thinking about that, I have murdered quite a few people in the past. I'm on quite the tear. I can't stop myself. You know, it just made me think back on them.

[C]

Did somebody fall? No, there hasn't been falls, but I guess you can interpret it like that.

[B]

In some kind of way. Well, that woman's being generous and trying to help her.

[A]

I think she's trying to. She. She doesn't. She sees that Theresa's embarrassing herself and she's trying to be nice however you.

[C]

Can, because, look, you have to understand. I read with.

[A]

Look at the two ladies behind the desk. They are like, this is so creepy. There's the two ladies that are hosting this local morning show, and they are showing a shot of the two ladies who have, by the way, since the beginning, looked pretty skeptical about what's going on when they're showing shots of her right now. The look in this woman's face says all you need to know. Like, we should cut this short.

[C]

Integrity.

[B]

She is.

[A]

She's cutting it short.

[C]

As Ryan is still out, she is currently reading. We're gonna put all of this up on our Windy City Life page. And, of course, be sure to check it out. We don't want to interrupt her. We want to let her do her thing.

[A]

So I think this might go on for another minute. Why do you keep making. Hold on, let's see.

[C]

Feel like I fall and I hit my head. Then it causes all of these other things. Is that correct, ma'?

[A]

Am? My.

[C]

Yeah. See, this is why people write things about me. I'm just saying.

[A]

This is why people love me so much. This is why A E continues to give me $750,000 a year to make my show. That's the thing that pisses me off the most, too, is that. And listen, there are so many television shows we can say the same about in different categories and different circumstances. We were just talking about this before we came on air. There's the fetishization of all different kinds of things in reality TV show, from dating moms to, you know, people who are overweight to. But this is the worst kind, is that there's people at A and E or Lifetime or whatever. They must know. Know that this is just a bunch of parlor tricks here. But yet they put them on TV and edited in a way to make it look like Teresa hits a home run 100% of the time because you're.

[C]

Not expecting it, and it's very overwhelming. You thought you were going to hear from your husband more so than your father. Do you understand that? But sometimes it's hate, how she says.

[B]

Do you understand that?

[A]

Yeah, because she's just trying to. She wants them to buy in. Yeah, she wants them to buy in. And the more. And that's also why Teresa does not leave a lot of room for conversation. No, it's all yes or no. Yeah, she needs to drive the narrative because the second that she lets someone else do that, she's in La la land and it doesn't work.

[C]

Need to hear from another soul before we can heal from the other losses. Do you understand that? Because your father keeps coming forward. He made me feel like I fell in the bathroom and I hit my head. Different fall. But. But do you.

[A]

You're wrong 100%. But, you know, we can. Okay, you're not in the same ballpark, but you are in the same zip code, if you know what I mean.

[C]

And that caused all of these other disabilities and ailments. And it's almost like, oh, my God, if he never fell, none of this would have ever have happened.

[A]

She's still trying to convince someone that a fall has made their loved one die. This is the worst part of Theresa's ignorance of her absolute ego. Driven Ignorance is that she makes people think something that isn't true. She just rewrote this lady's story about her husband's death and does this all the time. As long as she gets the win, everybody else takes the loss. Now this lady, poor lady, if she believes in this, is gonna go home and think that for some reason, a fall three years before her husband's death had something to do with his death. And if she had just realized that the fall, you know, I don't know, caused an aneurysm or whatever, then everything would be okay. But at least Teresa looks good on local Chicago morning news.

[B]

The windy sick.

[A]

Possibly.

[C]

So it's just possibly that we need.

[A]

Possibly not really sure. Don't really believe you.

[C]

To let go of those things. Do you understand that? Sure.

[A]

Sure, I do.

[C]

So who is the young male that's departed connected to you? Wow. Are there three of them? There have been quite a few. Only because I saw three. Three souls step forward, and they made me feel like, you know, the line.

[B]

And they step forward.

[A]

Of course. Chrissy, you don't know how this works. You've never had that heavy sensation on your breath, that gagging back in your throat, legs numb, the piggy fronting right on the back of your head. Yeah, it's kind of like if, you know, when you're sleeping and Jeff sticks his morning wood into the back of your.

[C]

You know, that is carried throughout the family. Do you understand that?

[A]

Definitely can be so.

[C]

It's acknowledging that their souls are at peace. They don't want us to carry these burdens.

[A]

She says the same thing to every single person. She just uses different words.

[C]

Kind of like a crazy haircut or like, they would have their head shaved and, like, have, like, different things shaved.

[B]

Oh, yes, that's.

[A]

She did.

[B]

She did that on another show where.

[A]

She profiled your casual, absolutely obvious racism is insulting and disgusting. Teresa, you are a hot racist racist. Oh, man. She's a terrible human being. She's a terrible human being. Do you agree with me, Christina? Are you. You picking up on this?

[D]

Oh, my God. Yeah.

[A]

This is true.

[D]

No, I think she's. She sucks. The racism racist stuff is just really, really grinding my ears. She's looking at this young black woman, and she's like, yep, These three guys, you know, that have died, they've got something shaved in their head. I'm like, you bitch.

[A]

Yeah. She's short of saying, did they get shot by a gang member? You know what I'm saying? It's like she's just so f. Obviously racist.

[C]

Her head or like designs or something.

[A]

She's like, no, not every black person has a shaved head with a design. And by the way, it's the white people who make that look terrible.

[C]

Do you know someone like that?

[A]

She moved to the next black person and asked him. Oh, my God.

[C]

Keep showing me, like, lightning bolts and stars. I don't know what that is in the sides of the head. Do you know someone with a crazy haircut, sir?

[A]

She's asking another black person.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[A]

Oh, Theresa, you are horrible. Cancel her immediately. Get her off television.

[C]

Barber. No, I make you nervous, sir?

[A]

He's like, yes, you do. You're a racist white lady with money.

[B]

What is she doing?

[A]

She's staring at someone.

[B]

Yeah, she walked up the stairs in the audience.

[A]

Now she's getting angry with this guy because this guy refused to say that he has dead people in his life that have clearly stereotyped haircuts.

[C]

Yeah, you connect with the mom that's departed. Grandmother.

[A]

Yeah, grandmother, uncle, aunt, brother, sister.

[B]

She's moved on for the guy with the haircut.

[A]

Excuse me, Chrissy, I'm going through the Rolodex. Friend, cousin, neighbor, child, aunt, uncle, dog, turtle, human being, things that breathe in this world, out of this world, in the universe, any noun whatsoever. Told you it's my gift.

[C]

Yes. You have to understand, I'm very blessed. I still have my parents.

[A]

I wish she was here. I wish she would come on this show. I wish she would come on the show. If anybody knows Teresa Caputa makes this happen. I swear you, I will make a sticker every other day that doesn't brown out and I will put it on your refrigerator personally.

[C]

In the physical world, my in laws are still here. In the physical world, I only recently lost my grandparents. And when spirit makes me feel that I carry such a burden or the weight of the world on me, and I feel like I lost a part of my soul. I think we all feel that way when we do lose a loved one. But in this case, I just felt that I wish I could have done more. Do you understand that? And we feel guilty. Look, the reason why spirit brings these things up is because when we place these burdens, we can't heal. So saying, I don't want you to look back.

[A]

You know why they can't heal is because dumb shits like you keep on bringing it up so that you can make an extra buck on the next ticket sale or television show or shitty merch that you sell. Theresa, swear. Now I'm getting angry because I feel like now she's just. It's clear after having done this long enough with Teresa that she is so overtly racist. She's a scam artist and a fucking prejudiced human being. Yeah, and she wants us to believe that she's carrying the weight of the world. You are not carrying the weight of the world. You are white, you are racist, and you are privileged, and you are making money on the backs of people who are vulnerable in shitty situations. And you're taking advantage of the them by using words to confuse them about what really happened to their loved ones. Fuck. You could have been there more.

[C]

I should have done more.

[A]

Merry Christmas. Where's the Tylenol?

[C]

Should have done this. Do you understand that? Please let go of all regret. No regrets. Remember the good times. Does that make sense?

[B]

Remember the bad times.

[A]

Remember that. I have.

[B]

They want you to remember the bad times and feel horrible.

[A]

Remember the worst things about them, and then, you know, wake up in the morning and try and reconcile your life.

[C]

Do you understand that? We're off. Oh.

[A]

Oh, we're off. Oh, okay. All right. No, never mind. Forget everything I said. Bye. See you later. Yeah, you owe me $139.76. Talk to you later. No, we just lowered your mic.

[C]

The dead people don't know off.

[A]

My one line is a classic.

[B]

What is happening?

[A]

What is happening? Why did she. Oh, they're lowering. Oh, they're lowering her mic because the other ladies are trying to do a television show, Right? The other ladies are actually doing a television show. No, people want you to do.

[D]

If you're.

[C]

Listen, I said I want to be 5, 7 and 120 pounds. It ain't happening. No, but you know that. You know that. That's the. That's the thing about my gift.

[A]

Okay? I think we just. It's. It's replaying itself. Yeah, I mean, listen, what else is there to say about Teresa Caputo? She is the world's worst human being. That's all I gotta say. Say no mas.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[D]

Once again.

[B]

I mean, it happens every time.

[A]

Every time. It starts off as shits and giggles, and then Brian gets all worked up because Theresa's terrible. She's a terrible fuck you. I hope this goes viral. Not for me, but for her. I hope this goes viral because we have shed light on this in the past, but I don't think that it's been quite so obvious as it was today that Teresa Caputo, not a only is lying to people, scamming people out of money, and doing a parlor trick, but Then she's overtly racist about it, which is just terrible. It's just terrible. And that fucking accent. That goddamn hair. Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho. She's never had her bell rung before. And say, say, I think the ghosts.

[B]

Have gotten up in there.

[A]

Oh, yeah, well, they piggy fronter all the time. Yeah, who doesn't love a good piggy fronting every once in a while? And I want you to really cleanse out the fire. It does, as does a colonic, too, just to let you know. Tell Jeff anytime he needs his bell rung, I'll come over there. I'll check for smooth texture. Hard points. Listen, us guys, we got to stick together, right?

[B]

You do have to help each other out.

[A]

It's not a sexual thing for. It's not. It's not mainly a sexual thing.

[B]

It's a health.

[A]

It's a health thing, and then it's a sexual thing. Well, we can. We can do both. Chrissy, tell Jeff we can do both.

[B]

You can record it in your Apple health app.

[A]

Oh, if we only could. If they had, like, a little monitor on your finger, and you could just go in there, wipe the windshield, and it says, your bell's been rung.

[B]

You're good.

[A]

You're 100% less likely to get prostate cancer. Check your balls, guys. Make sure you get that prostate check. That's all I got to say. That is an important message, and 21 EPMs will reduce your chances of cancer by an estimated 38%. 21 EPMs a month. Are you keeping up? Don't. Don't answer that question. Not on my.

[B]

You should be.

[A]

Astor gets angry about the sexualized text messages, so don't do that. All right. 212-4333. TCB 212-3822. Questions, comments, concerns, content, ideas. We are taking them all right there at that phone number. TCBpodcast.com all the audio and the video. YouTube.com thecommercial break for every episode of the commercial break. Moving Forward on YouTube and Spotify. A couple of days after it comes out on Spotify. Okay, Chrissy, that's all I can do for now.

[B]

I think so.

[A]

But I'll tell you that I love you. I love you. I'll say best to you and best you out there in the podcast universe. Until next time, Chrissy and I will say. We do say. And we must say goodbye, Quadruple fixer.