The Commercial Break Podcast

Episode: 12 Days Of TCB: Spirits, Enter Me!

Release Date: December 23, 2024
Hosts: Bryan Green & Krissy Hoadley

Episode Overview

In this holiday-themed episode of The Commercial Break, Bryan and Krissy revel in the irreverent spirit of their show while diving into a viral video of a TV evangelist who believes Pokémon (and related games like Magic: The Gathering and Dungeons & Dragons) are tools of Satan. The duo gleefully lampoon the preacher's absurd claims, reminisce about pop culture crazes, and sprinkle in plenty of their trademark blunt humor, especially about parenting and nostalgia. The episode delivers plenty of laughs while skewering moral panic and celebrating their chaotic brand of comedy.

Key Topics & Insights

1. Excitement Over the Bluey Movie

[00:15–05:14]

• The show opens with Bryan excitedly announcing a feature-length Bluey movie, enthusiastically describing the parenting phenomenon and its surprising emotional depth for both adults and kids.
• Bryan shares his awkwardness when school parents realize he hosts The Commercial Break and mentions their show’s unexpected influence: “I started watching Bluey because of you, Bryan, and now I like it. … That makes me proud that The Commercial Break has done one fucking good deed in its entire life.” (Bryan, 03:31)
• They contrast the wholesome charm of Bluey with the next topic—moral panics over children’s entertainment.

2. The Pokémon Card Moral Panic

[05:14–10:12; 10:56–53:00]

• Transitioning from Bluey, Bryan introduces an infamous internet video: a TV evangelist warning parents that Pokémon cards, imported from Japan, harbor satanic influence.
• Bryan sets the stage: “He literally goes on a 30 minute diatribe about this. … We're gonna come back and we'll do an extended couple of segments here on this very famous internet video where the preacher will tell us how bad Pokemon is and all the reasons why.” (Bryan, 06:32)
• Krissy and Bryan riff on the absurdity of conflating pop culture toys with Satanism, drawing on memories of the 80s/90s “Satanic Panic.”

3. Charity Spotlights for the Holidays

[08:23–10:03]

• During their annual “12 Days of TCB” event, the hosts encourage listeners to donate to four highlighted charities:
  • National Breast Cancer Coalition Fund
  • St. Jude Research Hospital
  • ASPCA
  • National Coalition Against Domestic Violence
    (Links are provided in show notes; send proof of donation for free TCB swag)

4. Breakdown: The Preacher’s Anti-Pokémon Rant

[10:56–53:00, ongoing throughout]

a. The TV Evangelist’s Claims

• The preacher, described as a “full blown mullet” doppelganger for Danny McBride (Eastbound & Down), uses a projector to deliver earnest warnings about Pokémon and “pocket monsters.”
• Classic quote: “[He] took Pokémon cards and made them into a satanic ritual. He said that the satanic ritual and they are imported from Japan and kids are being taught about the devil through Pokemon cards.” (Bryan, 05:55)

b. Hosts’ Running Commentary & Mockery

• Bryan and Krissy provide real-time sarcastic commentary:
  • Comparing the preacher’s “hypnotic spiral” claim on a Pokémon’s stomach to “male fertility symbols.”
    • “Since when does this spiral stand for male fertility? Wow. Jeff and I should get matching spirals on our balls.” (Bryan, 14:47)
  • Ridiculing the idea that showing three fingers is a ‘devil’s salute’:
    • “That's because it's a fucking card, you dumb shit. What do you think is gonna change? It's gonna morph into something else.” (Bryan, 17:26)

c. Critiquing 80s/90s Moral Panics

• The preacher extends his Satanic suspicions to Magic: The Gathering and Dungeons & Dragons (“Wizards of the Coast” is automatically “male practitioners of black magic”).
• Bryan draws a parallel between religious marketing and Pokémon: “It’s designed to sell you. … So is religion. It’s the same thing. It’s marketing. We’ve been doing it for hundreds of thousands of years.” (Bryan, 46:08)

d. Bizarre ‘Evidence’ from the Preacher

• Pokémon’s tail is supposedly a “lightning bolt—A Satanic Z.”
  • “The Satanic Z doesn’t even look like a Z, let alone a Satanic Z.” (Bryan, 20:19)
• Magic: The Gathering is called “a heavily occult-laced trading card game.”
• The preacher claims D&D games can last “10-12 years,” causing players to lose touch with reality and possibly commit suicide—a statement Bryan and a producer quickly debunk with actual data.

e. Transphobic and Sexist Rhetoric

• The preacher describes Team Rocket’s ‘cross-dressing’ negatively, and makes thinly veiled sexist jokes about Misty’s “headstrong” personality.
  • “Typical woman. No, just—” (Preacher, 47:39; Bryan, 47:42)
  • Bryan interjects: “Well, did you think anybody with a haircut like that was gonna be like the kind of guy you'd want to go on a date with?” (Bryan, 47:44)
• The hosts openly mock and reject his bigotry.

f. Hosts' Reaction: Must-Hear Highlights

• Sarcastic breakdown of religious arguments:
  • “I read an article, must have been about three weeks ago, where a young man took a Pokemon card and sliced up his dog and ate him for dinner. And then he said, mommy, have you heard of slice them up? It's a cute little animal on Pokemon where you slice up your dog and you eat them. True. It's true. It's all true.” (Bryan, 39:43)
• On the preacher’s logic:
  • “You know what I've learned about this video? … He has proven nothing except his ignorance about the world in general.” (Bryan, 51:03)

5. Wrapping Up: Satire of the Moral Panic Mindset

[52:00–53:44]

• Bryan and Krissy conclude that the preacher’s arguments are tired, sexist, and ultimately harmless except for inspiring a desire to play/revisit Pokémon.
• Bryan: “Well, don't be a cross dressing son of a bitch. That's the moral of this story. Pokemon chasing hormonal.” (Bryan, 52:38)
• They reiterate details about the show, ways to contact them, and their social media accounts.

Notable Quotes & Moments (w/Timestamps)

• “I started watching Bluey because of you, Bryan, and now I like it. … That makes me proud that The Commercial Break has done one fucking good deed in its entire life.”
  Bryan, 03:31

• “Since when does this spiral stand for male fertility? Wow. Jeff and I should get matching spirals on our balls.”
  Bryan, 14:47

• “That's because it's a fucking card, you dumb shit. What do you think is gonna change? It's gonna morph into something else.”
  Bryan, 17:26

• “It’s designed to sell you. … So is religion. It’s marketing. We’ve been doing it for hundreds of thousands of years. We're gonna continue to do it.”
  Bryan, 46:08

• “Well, did you think anybody with a haircut like that was gonna be like the kind of guy you’d want to go on a date with?”
  Bryan, 47:44

• "You know what I've learned about this video? … He has proven nothing except his ignorance about the world in general."
  Bryan, 51:03

Key Timestamps for Major Segments

• 00:15 – 05:14: Bluey movie news, parenting, and the duo's legacy
• 05:14 – 10:12: Bryan introduces the Pokémon preacher video & charity segment
• 10:56 – 13:29: Description of the preacher, parallels to pop culture caricatures
• 14:14 – 22:26: Preacher's claims about Pokémon, Magic the Gathering, and satanic imagery; hosts’ interjections
• 23:04 – 30:58: Debunking claims about Magic, D&D, and the “Satanic Panic”
• 33:15 – 38:12: Stories about Magic in schools; misunderstanding necromancer vs. necrophiliac
• 42:05 – 46:07: The Pokémon ball, “be your own God” theme, and pop-culture influence
• 46:56 – 49:44: Breaking down the preacher's sexist, transphobic tropes
• 50:01 – 52:38: Conclusion—what the preacher “proves,” and sassy send-off

Tone & Style

Bryan and Krissy embrace a sharp, irreverent, and sarcastic tone throughout, flipping from playful mockery of TV evangelists to candid reflections on nostalgia, parenting, and pop culture. Their established chemistry—full of inside jokes, quick asides, and self-aware jabs—keeps the episode lively and laugh-filled, even as they tackle topics like 80s/90s moral panics and modern-day culture wars.

For Listeners New & Old

This episode of The Commercial Break provides a hilarious, unfiltered window into the podcast’s typical fare: offbeat banter, satirical takes on pop culture absurdities, and an amiable disregard for convention—making it accessible fun for fans and newcomers alike, especially those who remember the “Satanic Panic” with a mix of horror and nostalgia.

For more TCB:

• Find TCB at tcbpodcast.com
• On Instagram: @hecommercialbreak
• On TikTok: @TCBpodcast
• For questions or to get free swag, text/call: 212-433-3822

“Merry Christmas … just remember, they’re probably gonna murder you in a rage if you give them Pokémon cards!”
Bryan, 34:37