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The Commercial Break
2024: Not On Fleek
01:02:24
Bryan & Krissy discuss who are you watching, Grandma Green, Venezuelan New Years, red underwear, 24 grapes, and a dollar bill soaked in champagne, Widespread Panic new years concerts, uvula, our loves from 2024, “On fleek”, our hates from 2024, our regrets from 2024, our desires for 2025, Astrid is banned from tiktok, COUNTDOWN TO NYE, and Bryan got cockblocked at a Braves game.
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- [00:00]
Brian Green
This episode is sponsored in part by Just Thrive Health. The holiday season means lots of food, lots of fun, and lots of tough stuff on your tummy. With the holiday season always comes a renewed focus on your gut and your gut health. And here's the shocking truth about New Year's resolutions. Whether you want to lose weight, improve your energy, or beat the embarrassing post meal bloat, nothing works. If your gut isn't healthy first, why not try starting Just Thrive Probiotic? Most probiotics die in your harsh stomach acid before they can do much good. Thrive Probiotic is the only probiotic clinically proven to arrive in your gut 100% alive for you. That means better digestion, healthy immunity, great energy and easy weight loss management. Plus, it's backed by a 100% money back guarantee. So if you're ready to take control of your best health in the new year, Visit just thrive health.com podcasts and use the code pod20 for 20% off your first order. That's justthrive.com podcasts and remember to use the code pod20 for 20 percent off your first order. Remember that Just Thrive Probiotic is the only probiotic that is clinically proven to arrive in your gut 100% alive. Don't let your gut control you. Control your gut. In the new year, just thrive health.com podcasts and use that code pod20. And we do want to thank Just Thrive Health for being a sponsor of the commercial break. This episode is sponsored in part by Live Nation. All right, you're a fan of the commercial break, so I know you're a fan of comedy. And good news for you. Some of the best comedians in the world are touring right now in in my humble opinion, the best way to see comedy is to see it live. It's that energy in the room, it's the infectious laughter. It's the sense that someone is doing a high wire act right in front of your face and at any moment the train can come off the tracks. And that is always just as entertaining as when your favorite comedian sets the room on fire. Nasser and I have become big fans of watching live comedy. Never once have we walked out of a comedy show regretting the $300 we're about to pay the teenage babysitter to obsessively text her boyfriend and doom scroll on Instagram. Never once. Let me punch up a few of the comedians I know are on tour right now. There's the ever lovely Sarah Silverman, hilarious Brian Regan, Chelsea Handler, who I kind of have a crush on, Sarah Milliken, Kevin Hart, the always funny Atsuko Okadska, and the literal man of the hour, Sebastian Maniscalco. If that guy doesn't give you a tickle, you just don't own a funny bone. There are all kind of live shows, there are all kind of venues, and there are all flavors of comedy. So head over to livenation.comcomedy to get your tickets to today. That's livenation.comcomedy. times are tough. The entire world's stressed out. You deserve it. Go see some live comedy. Livenation.com comedy and thanks to Live Nation for being a sponsor of another kind of comedy show, the commercial break.
- [02:53]
Kristen Joy Oatley
I'm off to glog shampers through a funnel.
- [02:57]
Christina
Dropping out.
- [03:03]
Brian Green
On this episode of the commercial break. What did you regret in 2024? This one I'm hoping will be introspective.
- [03:11]
Kristen Joy Oatley
Oh, okay, let me see.
- [03:13]
Brian Green
But Chrissy says no, it's gonna. It's gonna be Teresa Caputa.
- [03:17]
Kristen Joy Oatley
I said that it went Jeff and I didn't cook naked enough.
- [03:20]
Brian Green
Oh, there you go. Hey, that's a good one. That is a good one.
- [03:24]
Kristen Joy Oatley
2025 goal.
- [03:25]
Brian Green
That is a good one. And when you guys cook naked, please videotape it. I'll Instagram it for you since you don't like to do that. I'll put it up there and I'll even put little blurbs. I'll put it. I'll blur it out for you. The next episode of the commercial break starts now. Yeah, boy. Oh, yeah. Cats and kittens, welcome back to the commercial break. I'm Brian Green. This is the Dick Clark to my Ryan Seacrest. Kristen Joy Oatley. Best to you, Chris.
- [03:55]
Kristen Joy Oatley
Best to you, Brian.
- [03:57]
Brian Green
Best to you out there in the podcast, you universe. And happy New Year's Eve to you, New Year's Eve.
- [04:03]
Kristen Joy Oatley
The countdown is ticking.
- [04:04]
Brian Green
The countdown will be ticking. Stay tuned because at the end of this episode, we will do a countdown for you. So if you want to like Pink Floyd and Wizard of Oz, you can sync up your countdown with our countdown and everything will be wonderful in the world. Who are you going to watch on New Year's Eve, Chrissy?
- [04:21]
Kristen Joy Oatley
I usually watch Andy.
- [04:23]
Brian Green
You watch Andy. You go Andy Cohen.
- [04:25]
Kristen Joy Oatley
Anderson Cooper.
- [04:26]
Brian Green
I go. I choose Miley Cyrus. That's just me.
- [04:29]
Kristen Joy Oatley
Switch back and forth.
- [04:30]
Brian Green
I like Miley. I think Miley's got a thing going that I'm.
- [04:33]
Kristen Joy Oatley
I'm into she again this year.
- [04:35]
Brian Green
Don't know, but I imagine. I think it went so disastrously wrong the first year with Pete Davidson that how could you look away.
- [04:41]
Kristen Joy Oatley
Yeah.
- [04:42]
Brian Green
And then year. I think they did it last year, didn't they?
- [04:44]
Kristen Joy Oatley
I think so.
- [04:44]
Brian Green
I think they did it last year.
- [04:46]
Kristen Joy Oatley
Was involved maybe, too.
- [04:47]
Brian Green
Dolly Parton was involved. I think Pete took a break for rehab and a show in Conyers, Georgia.
- [04:53]
Kristen Joy Oatley
Right.
- [04:55]
Brian Green
And then. Yeah, I like Ryan and I like Andy. I like both of them. I think they're. They're good. But since they stopped drinking, you know, it's not as interested, is it? I thought that they weren't allowed to drink. I thought they told them no more drinking.
- [05:09]
Kristen Joy Oatley
Well, they got a little crazy with it.
- [05:11]
Christina
They're allowed again, though.
- [05:12]
Brian Green
They're allowed again.
- [05:13]
Kristen Joy Oatley
I think people demanded it.
- [05:15]
Brian Green
Well, fine. Finally, CNN coming to their senses, doing something to improve the ratings over there at cnn. What a fucking train wreck that's. That channel has become.
- [05:24]
Kristen Joy Oatley
Honestly, I haven't even watched.
- [05:26]
Brian Green
I mean, Anderson Cooper's the only reason to watch if we're being real about it. Anderson Cooper, I think, is the only interesting one that's still over there. But anyway. And of course, you know, Ryan Seacrest and Dick Clark Productions is the sentimental favorite, because that's what I've been watching since I was a child. My grandmother, I would. We would always spend New Year's Eve with my Grandma Green on my dad's side, my mother, my dad's mom. And while I think my dad would argue that he wasn't her biggest fan, I always enjoyed being around my Grandma Green because she always made it a big deal to be at her house.
- [06:01]
Kristen Joy Oatley
Yeah.
- [06:01]
Brian Green
And she. I've told you this. She had this house in Melrose Park, Illinois, in Chicago. And in this house, it had a basement like a lot of houses in Chicago do. And in this basement was a bar. And we're not talking about a bar like most people have a bar. They've got a little nook with a couple of bottles and glasses on it. We are talking a full Cheers bar downstairs in the basement with cocktail tables and a TV and things hanging on the wall and a little fireplace. You could literally belly up to this bar and there could be a bartender back there serving you drinks.
- [06:33]
Kristen Joy Oatley
I love that.
- [06:33]
Brian Green
And they have all kinds of booze and beers and everything. So when my grandfather was alive, apparently this was the place to go for Smoky Bones and, you know, Guns Magoo and Fishneck Rogers, you know, all these gangsters that used to live in Melrose park, all these Italian guys used to come over and drink at my grandfather's bar. My grandfather, of course, was Irish at the speakeasy that's right at the speakeasy, even though it was legal to drink. But, you know, still they had their neighborhood little bar, and they would come down there and they would have parties. So when my grandfather passed away when I was very young, my grandma took it upon herself to take us for New Year's Eve so that my parents could go out and we would go to Party City, the party place down the street. My grandma would let us spend some loot. We get the poppers and the streamers and the Happy New Year banner and all that stuff. And we would spend the afternoon setting up the basement, the bar. And then at night, my grandma would allow us to stay up and watch on the little, tiny little shit TV she had down there. We would watch Dick Clark as he rolled in the New Year's with that ball drop in in New York. So for me, that's a very much a sentimental favorite because I just remember as a kid having so much fun with my grandma Green and doing that. They also had a live grenade down there from World War II, which was crazy. Crazy. I had to check myself with my brother one time. I'm like, that thing was live, right? He's like, pin in live grenades sitting down. Yeah, but I think that was pretty common that guys came back from the war and they took souvenirs like their guns, their medals, a grenade, you know. I don't know why my grandpa kept it, but my grandma kept it too. It was sitting down there in the basement. My grandma also, one year, she bought Weird Al Yankovic. You ever heard the song Grandma Got Run over by a Reindeer? Okay. It's a very famous song. Can't remember the name of the artist, but he had a whole comedy album. Elmo Something, I think his name was Elmo Something. He had a very famous comedy album. And Weird Al Yankovic, of course, had, in the 80s and the 90s, was doing a lot of comedy albums, too. So my grandma bought us these two albums. And I just remember one New Year's Eve, Kevin and I burning the shit out of those cassette tapes, just listening to them over and over and over again. Weird Al and Elmo. Weird Al and Elmo. Back and forth, back and forth till midnight Trying our best to stay up for the. For the ball drop. And I think we accomplished it. I have such fond memories of being down in that bar for.
- [08:52]
Kristen Joy Oatley
Sounds like a really good time, especially for a kid. I mean, how old were you up until, like, this was the.
- [08:58]
Brian Green
I would say seven through moving here to Atlanta. So I would. I mean, remembering Right. Of course, I was probably there much younger, but I would say she started to do this party tradition. Seven through 13. Seven through 12. Seven through 13. Good. Five or six years. And then we came here, moved here to Atlanta. There were a few odd years where we would be up there for whatever reason, and she would do it, and she would always make it a big deal. Kevin and I would play down in that bar. They had a match collection. A ma. You know, matchbook collection.
- [09:27]
Kristen Joy Oatley
Yeah. Like the little boxes.
- [09:28]
Brian Green
Yes, because that was what you did back then. If you had a restaurant, it was like a business card. Instead of a business card, you'd have a matchbook. Right. And so they had thousands of these matchbooks. So Kevin and I used to go down there and be little pyros and, you know, burn the matches and set the matchbooks on fire and play on loop.
- [09:46]
Kristen Joy Oatley
Grandma got run over by reindeer Grandma.
- [09:47]
Brian Green
Got run over by reindeer Coming home from our house Christmas Eve, you can say there's no such thing as Santa. So now I have passed on that tradition. Both of my grandparents were into. Is it Elmo? Is that his name?
- [10:00]
Christina
It's Elmo and Patsy.
- [10:02]
Brian Green
Elmo and Patsy. Elmo and Patsy. He was like a comedy artist. That's. We did before Weird Al Yankovic, there was Elmo and Patsy, and I'm sure there was lots of others, too. But both of my grandparents were into Elmo and Patsy. That was like. Their sense of humor was very much like dad jokes. And if you listen to an Elmo and Patsy album, it's very dad jokey. Like, grandma got run over by a reindeer. There's a song. There's a line in the song that goes, now we're all so proud of Grandpa. He's been taking it so well. Watching football. Watching football and drinking beer and playing cards with Cousin Mel. Like, playing cards with Cousin Mel.
- [10:41]
Kristen Joy Oatley
I know. That was a bizarre song. Catchy.
- [10:44]
Brian Green
So now I pass this down to my children, and you would not believe they're huge Christmas music fans. And Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer is on the top three. It's like they're always like, dad, play. Grandma got run over by a reindeer. And my wife hates it. Astrid's like, God damn it. They need to be listening to Gaitas. Gaitas are like Venezuelan holiday songs. So for. Wait.
- [11:08]
Kristen Joy Oatley
Well, speaking of Venezuelan, so what is Astrid's tradition over the years of celebrating New Year's?
- [11:14]
Brian Green
So New Year's Eve for them is a big deal. Venezuelans love a good party. And if you've ever been to The, I mean, everybody loves a good party, right? But the Venezuelan just do it different. They like the culture. The party culture there is so ingrained with celebrate life, everything, everything. You, you had a good day at work, get, get the barbecue going, invite 30 friends over. Yeah, you had a bad day at work, at the barbecue going, invite 50 friends over. You know, you get the rum out, you, you drink, you get to canoes, to canoes, to canos. It's just one of those things that they're. Everything needs to be a party because they like to celebrate everything. And I really love that because us Irish folks, we don't celebrate anything. The most fun we have at a gathering is usually at a funeral or a wake, right? We like to celebrate death. Ah, you got out early. Good for him. That son of a bitch. It's not really ingrained in my family to do that. We didn't even really have birthday parties. So for Astrid, New Year's Eve is special. It needs to be a big party. She wants everyone to have a good time. And if you've ever been to a Venezuelan party, you know two things there's going to be to canos, number one and number two, it's never going to start on fucking time. And there are waves of the party. Wait, let's say the party starts at party waves. Party waves are the best. Our wedding was a party wave, right? You've got the pre alcohol, you know, you got the pre party where everyone's out stunning themselves getting a cocktail, then you go and you, you do the thing and then you have the cocktail hour and then you sit down and you eat and then you go out and you party and then here comes the you. And then you do the crazy hour and then after that they're serving breakfast like it's a whole thing.
- [12:47]
Kristen Joy Oatley
I know, I remember.
- [12:48]
Brian Green
So if they say the party starts. So a party on New Year's Eve doesn't start till 10pm, period in the sentence. Like here in America, you get there at 8 o'clock and by the time New Year's rolls around, you're ready to go home. For the Venezuelans, it starts at 10:00 and then you celebrate at midnight and then you celebrate again at 1 o'clock and then you celebrate again.
- [13:07]
Kristen Joy Oatley
I like that a lot.
- [13:08]
Brian Green
Yes. And so this is just, this is just the way they do it. It's a big deal.
- [13:11]
Kristen Joy Oatley
Do they have any kind of like ball dropping scenario or is that just in?
- [13:16]
Brian Green
I think they have like democracy drop.
- [13:21]
Kristen Joy Oatley
Democracy drop.
- [13:23]
Brian Green
They're not democracy drop. No, More democracy for you. I don't think they have a ball drop necessarily, but like, this is a big party. Yes, it's a big party. That's what they do. But they do like the ball drop. At least my family does. They like to watch that thing. They eat grapes. So for every year they eat a grape. Every year of the Millennial, they'll eat a grape. So 2001, you eat one and then. So this year we're going to have to eat 24 grapes. And I couldn't even imagine what it was in 99.
- [13:49]
Kristen Joy Oatley
Well, I know that's what we were talking about, Christina.
- [13:51]
Brian Green
And I said, you have grapes, you have a dollar bill. You must wear red underwear. It's a whole red underwear. If you don't wear red underwear, it's bad luck. If you don't wear red underwear on New Year's Eve, you have to have a dollar bill that you soak in champagne and then you keep it throughout the year. Really. So there's actually a dollar that's sitting around here.
- [14:10]
Christina
I wondered what that dollar was a.
- [14:11]
Brian Green
Dollar from last year. They soaked it in champagne, hoping the commercial break would be SOL of this New Year's Eve. We'll see. We got 10 more days to go. We'll see how it goes. So. And that's what they do. There's just a couple of traditions that they like.
- [14:25]
Kristen Joy Oatley
Well, that reminds me too of a tradition like right at New Year. So this was passed down. And Christina, I want to ask you about this because I think it's some type of Scottish derivative of something that's done at midnight. Is that a dark haired man is supposed to pass through the doorway with bread, salt and coal. Oh, my grandmother always did this. And so then my dad did it with my mom and now I have Jeff doing it with me. And I looked it up and it is a thing.
- [14:58]
Brian Green
It is. Have you ever heard of that?
- [15:00]
Christina
I've never heard of that, no. I mean, maybe it's a thing, but no.
- [15:05]
Brian Green
When I was a kid, I do remember this. When I was a kid, when I was like in my early 20s, I would pass through the door with cocaine, Bud Light and dollar bills for the ladies. I mean, is it the same thing?
- [15:16]
Kristen Joy Oatley
It's the very.
- [15:16]
Brian Green
It's a derivative of the. Yeah, it's very similar. It's an Irish.
- [15:20]
Kristen Joy Oatley
That's an Irish tradition.
- [15:23]
Christina
I have a question about the dollar bill soaked in champagne.
- [15:25]
Brian Green
Yes.
- [15:26]
Christina
Does it count if it's sparkling wine or does it have to be champagne from Champagne Fruits?
- [15:31]
Brian Green
Well, I think you'd have to ask an actual Venezuelan about this. But I believe that the tradition is champagne. But I think you can get away with anything. Like, as long as you're. As long as it's in the same vein.
- [15:40]
Christina
I'm wondering. I'm like, maybe the luck is in the champions.
- [15:42]
Brian Green
Yes. I am making my own. I'm just making up my own rules right now. I say sp. Sparkling wine is okay, Christina, Go ahead and do it. There you go.
- [15:50]
Kristen Joy Oatley
I brought some champagne for us today.
- [15:51]
Brian Green
You brought some champagne? We're all dressed very lovely.
- [15:54]
Kristen Joy Oatley
Yes, we all got my sparkles on.
- [15:55]
Brian Green
Well, okay, Christina, we're gonna pretend like you're dressed up.
- [15:58]
Kristen Joy Oatley
I have a martini on her shirt.
- [15:59]
Christina
I have a martini glass on my shirt.
- [16:01]
Kristen Joy Oatley
That counts.
- [16:02]
Brian Green
Ready to drink? Yeah. That's another thing the Venezuelans do. You must dress up on New Year's Eve. If you're not dressed up, you're doing. You're not doing it right. Yeah. For years, like, I mean, I took this stance for years before I met Astrid that New Year's Eve was really for amateurs, you know? And I didn't like to go out and I didn't want to party. I was okay staying home and not doing anything. Halloween.
- [16:27]
Kristen Joy Oatley
I remember you being this Debbie Downer ish throughout our friendship.
- [16:32]
Brian Green
If I went to a New Year's Eve party, it was under duress. I went under duress. Just know that I didn't want to be there. I was there. If I looked like I was having a good time, I was pretending I would.
- [16:42]
Kristen Joy Oatley
For years. I wanted to see music for New Year's.
- [16:45]
Brian Green
Yeah, I did that for a couple of years too. I thought that was a good one.
- [16:48]
Christina
That's what I'm doing this year.
- [16:49]
Brian Green
What are you doing? Who are you going to see?
- [16:50]
Christina
I'm going to a hugel concert. Oh, Afrobeats, baby.
- [16:54]
Brian Green
There you go.
- [16:54]
Kristen Joy Oatley
Drop the Afrobeats.
- [16:56]
Christina
Yeah, I'm excited.
- [16:57]
Brian Green
Is it a New Year's Eve concert? They're gonna play through midnight.
- [16:59]
Christina
It starts at 10. So I'm pleased. We're having a little pregame.
- [17:03]
Brian Green
Are their friends coming? Yeah, yeah.
- [17:05]
Christina
We're gonna do a little pre game and then we're gonna do.
- [17:07]
Kristen Joy Oatley
That's Her Friends Coming. It's literally called She's Going On A Friend By Myself.
- [17:10]
Brian Green
I've been to concerts by myself.
- [17:12]
Kristen Joy Oatley
I know, but on New Year' Yeah.
- [17:14]
Christina
I mean, the only other. Well, the only other person that I specifically invited cannot go. So I am kind of going alone. Not really. I'm going with my sister and her boyfriend. And then some of our other friends.
- [17:25]
Brian Green
Well, hopefully you'll meet people there.
- [17:27]
Christina
Oh, no, it'll be great. It's literally called make the Girls Dance. Oh, make the girls dance. And I thought, count me out.
- [17:34]
Brian Green
Well, if they had make the Girls Dance parties, then I might have not stayed home all those years. Well, here's the thing. I went to those fucking hotel parties for a couple years in a row. I went to the clubs for a couple years in a row. I worked in the restaurant business so many years on New Year's Eve that I got real sick of it real fucking quick. Because everyone becomes a raging asshole by 10:30. And then you have to deal with them for the next four hours, kick them out at three in the morning. And it's just true, like the a.m. like there's amateurish behavior that goes on because of how much the wrong party. No, I was at the party serving people. Yes. So that's how I got. That's so. A little cocaine and some, you know, Jagermeister made thing. Made the medicine go down. I'm sorry, that's just the way. But then when I wasn't working in the restaurant business, Hotel party. Okay. I paid $1,000.
- [18:22]
Kristen Joy Oatley
Hotel parties were the worst.
- [18:23]
Brian Green
It was terrible. I mean, between. So I remember one year it was me, it was the girl I was dating who would eventually become my. My ex wife, My ex wife, eventually become my ex wife and then.
- [18:33]
Kristen Joy Oatley
Your ex wife.
- [18:33]
Brian Green
Yeah, my wife and then my ex wife and a couple friends. I paid $1,000 for four of us to go to this hotel party. Big, big hotel in downtown Atlanta. Do it every year where there's like 12 rooms, 12 different types of parties. And what ended up happening is we stood in the lobby because it was the only fucking place we could get a drink and talk to each other at any reasonable decibel level. Every room was obnoxious. Everyone. And I became real turned off to that idea. And then a couple of years later, after I got a divorce, I went to a hotel party, paid a lot of money, same type of situation. Two rooms were empty. One room was terrible. Like just terrible human beings in there. And so we ended up staying out in the lobby bar.
- [19:11]
Kristen Joy Oatley
You should have come to me with Widespread Panic.
- [19:13]
Brian Green
I wish I had gone to a couple of Widespread Panic shows. At least there, you know, you had dibbity dabs. Finger dip. Finger dip. Finger dip, Yeah. A Widespread Panic concert on New Year's. Kevin used to do that every year. And then I wouldn't hear from him for three days.
- [19:30]
Kristen Joy Oatley
Yes, because you need that time to recover. I remember my parents calling me, being like, are you alive?
- [19:36]
Brian Green
Didn't they do like 25 years in a row at FIPS or Omni?
- [19:40]
Kristen Joy Oatley
And the fifth, there was a consecutive amount of sellout.
- [19:43]
Brian Green
They got a banner. There's a banner up there. Widespread panic. And then they. And then they went to the Fox or something like that.
- [19:49]
Kristen Joy Oatley
Now they do the Fox.
- [19:49]
Brian Green
Oh, very interesting. Yeah. One of the ones I missed, I wish I had gone to, I had an opportunity to, was the Fish Millennial concert.
- [19:57]
Kristen Joy Oatley
Fox does a big one.
- [19:58]
Brian Green
They do a big one. I don't know if they're. Are they doing it this year? Oh, you know what I just saw? I just saw that the dead is coming back to the sphere.
- [20:04]
Kristen Joy Oatley
Yes, I saw that too.
- [20:05]
Brian Green
So I'm like, okay, I'm not missing it this time. It was such a big fucking deal. I'm not missing it this time. 4000 dol for a fucking package. It's insane. It's insane.
- [20:15]
Kristen Joy Oatley
Let's talk off camera.
- [20:16]
Brian Green
Okay, I'm gonna talk off camera. Get you, Jeff. Can Jeff give me tickets? Thank you. Thank you, Jeff. I love you. I'm gonna send you red underwear, some grapes, and anytime you want your bell rung, call me and I'll ding dong. I'll come over with my gloves and some warm lube. I do promise. All right. We're dressed to the nines. 12 days of TCB is long behind us. Thank you, everyone that supported us and loved us and kept us going. I just can't thank you enough. Everyone said, really nice.
- [20:45]
Kristen Joy Oatley
The response was great.
- [20:46]
Brian Green
The response was great. So unfortunately, that probably means we have to do it again next year. Fuck you.
- [20:50]
Kristen Joy Oatley
We're planning that differently.
- [20:52]
Brian Green
Next year is next year. We're going to do one a week for 12 weeks.
- [20:56]
Kristen Joy Oatley
I was thinking one. I think it still would be an option to do one each month. And then it's kind of like a time capsule too.
- [21:04]
Brian Green
It could be.
- [21:05]
Kristen Joy Oatley
Look back then and we can review it.
- [21:06]
Brian Green
It could just be. It could be like one of those still, you know, one of those stop motion photographies on how much weight I'm going to gain over 20, 25. We'll change the studio, we'll have different music, everything will go different. And by the time we get to 12 days, we're going to rush again to get it done. I promise you. Let's do the 12 weeks leading up to. I think that sounds good. That's three months. That's three months we divided into three months. I'm down with that, we know it's coming. We'll give everybody some a chance to get ready and then we can talk to our audience and get their ideas about what they would like to hear. So, okay, so let's do this. We're going to start a timer on third segment of the show. We'll start a timer, we'll do a countdown, we'll celebrate together. We've got a little game to play when we come back. We're going to see how Christina and Chrissy measure up their year. When we return, we'll be back.
- [21:55]
Christina
Well, thank the baby Jesus. Brian took a breath and now I will use this opportunity to let you know that we've got a brand new phone number. That's right. It's 212-4333, TCB and you can text us anytime you want or you can call and leave us a voicemail and we might just use your message on the show once Brian gets through all the messages he missed last year, of course. Anyway, you can also find and DM us on Instagram at the commercial break and on TikTok CBpodcast. And of course all of our audio and video is easily found on tcbpodcast.com now I'm going to thank G one more time that we have sponsors. So thank G. And here they are.
- [22:35]
Brian Green
The holidays are all about sharing with family meals, couches, stories, Grandma's secret pecan pie recipe. And now you can also share a cart. With Instacart's family carts, everyone can add what they want to one group cart from wherever they are. So you don't have to go from room to room to find out who wants cranberry sauce or who should get mini marshmallows for the yams or collecting votes for sugar cookies versus shortbread. Just share a cart and then share the meals and the moments. Download the Instacart app and get delivery in as fast as 30 minutes. Plus enjoy free delivery on your first three orders. Service fees and terms apply.
- [23:07]
Kristen Joy Oatley
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- [23:38]
Christina
Feel a cold coming, shorten it with.
- [23:40]
Brian Green
Zycam, the number one cold shortening brand. Oh, no. Your cold is coming. Your cold is coming. Thanks, Revere. I really should keep Zycam in the house. Only if you want to shorten your cold. Take it from America's most revered messenger. Shorten your cold at the first sign with cold shortening products from Zycam, the number one cold shortening brand available in stores. Or see where to buy@xycam.com all right, and we're back on this New Year's Eve celebration here on the commercial break. Hope you're doing well. We need one of those little, the little uvla. What do they call them? A uvula.
- [24:22]
Kristen Joy Oatley
What?
- [24:22]
Brian Green
What do they call him? A vulva. Vuvuzela.
- [24:26]
Christina
I thought Chrissy was talking about just one of those like little curly things that pop out.
- [24:31]
Brian Green
Yeah, but also vuvuzela. A vulva. Lela. Yes. We need a volvalelo right here, right now. Unfortunately, I'm married. All right. Hey, I want to say one quick thing. Today as you're listening to this will have been the the 10 year anniversary of one of the greatest television shows in late night history going off air. The Craig Ferguson Show. Late Night with Craig Ferguson. You didn't like that show?
- [24:56]
Kristen Joy Oatley
Well, I mean, I watched it sometimes. That'll ever be the greatest of all time.
- [24:59]
Brian Green
It was so fucking. You'd have to watch a lot of it to get into it. It's one of those shows. It's an acquired taste. Like the commercial break and I acquired the taste and I loved it. He had the masturbating bear and the robot. It was just like, he was just so funny. He was sober, so he'd always talk to the camera. He'd do these long soliloquies. He was really good at what he did. Now he has a podcast. Not as good as the television show. I do have to say that I still listen to it every once in a while. All right, let's size up our year together. What do you think? Let's size up 2024. Here we go. We're going to play Love, Hate, Regret, desire. Love, hate, regret, Desire. I want you to name a few things you loved about 2024, a few things you hated about 2024. Some things that you regretted, and some things you desire moving forward in 2025. So, Chrissy, let's start with you. Oh, okay. Give us two or three things that you loved about 2024.
- [25:49]
Kristen Joy Oatley
Let's see you did spring this on us pretty quickly.
- [25:51]
Brian Green
Well, I actually gave you more notice than I've ever given you on content ideas. So there you go.
- [25:58]
Kristen Joy Oatley
Let's say, you know what? I loved Taylor Swift's tour.
- [26:03]
Brian Green
Okay.
- [26:03]
Kristen Joy Oatley
And her love with Travis Kelce. I have to admit, it has been very. I think we talked about it at the beginning of the year. I said I'm rooting for them.
- [26:10]
Brian Green
Yes.
- [26:11]
Kristen Joy Oatley
I hope it works. And everybody just gets so much joy. Has gotten so much joy out of her tour. And I have to say, I love that.
- [26:17]
Brian Green
Certainly consumed a fair amount of minutes here on the commercial break talking about Taylor Swift and Taylor and Travis. And I do have to say I also am rooting for them because I think it's very difficult probably. It's certainly going to be difficult now for Travis to find anybody else. He's now just as famous as she is. It's hard to make that work under those streaming lights. And it seems at least a year and some change in that they are doing well. So good for Taylor Swift.
- [26:43]
Kristen Joy Oatley
Yeah, that was, like, a bright spot, I think, in a lot of people's lives.
- [26:45]
Brian Green
I have a house full of Swifties. Not going to say a bad word. Taylor Swift. Swift is a badass boss bitch. And congratulations for all of her success. And Travis seems to be the. The right fit, I guess, is the right. Right way to say it. Okay, Christina, let's go. Let's bounce to youth. It's something you loved in 2024.
- [27:04]
Christina
Okay. Something I loved in 2024 was. And this is. This is personal to me, but I ran a 30k for my 30th birthday. And, yeah, I ran well. I actually ended up running 20 my miles because I did my map wrong.
- [27:23]
Brian Green
But were you going for the marathon and you did 30k?
- [27:26]
Christina
I was going for my. Okay, well, my original plan. So I had knee surgery last year, and then my original plan was, oh, I'm gonna run 30 miles for my 30th birthday. And then I was like, actually, I've had a lot of health issues this year, and I don't think I've been able to train properly to run that distance. So I was like, let's do a 30k instead. And I. It's like 18.6 is a 30k. And then I did the map wrong and ended up running 20.
- [27:53]
Brian Green
Well, congratulations. That's incredible.
- [27:55]
Christina
It was a massive deal. And it was like a year after the surgery, and it was really big and really emotional, and I'm super proud of myself.
- [28:05]
Brian Green
That was a big love that's fantastic. I also am into running, and I don't do it as much as I did before the children, but I love running, and I got into distance running, and the most I've ever run was 13.5 miles. I felt really accomplished, and it only took me half a day to do that, so it took me so long a day to have run down half a marathon. Okay. All right. So something that I loved in 2024. It's very personal, and it's true. The commercial break survived what I think probably would have been the demise of most other podcasts. And listen, a lot of other podcasts had very similar drama. It's not. The podcast world got shooken up shaken up in 2023, and I'm not going to get into all the minutiae, but then we kind of took two smacks in the face. And I will tell you what, we survived it, and we came out the other end maybe a little, a little worse for the wear, a little bit more time calluses, a few calluses, a little less cash in the bank, but we actually survived and thrived. That has a lot to do with the new contract we signed and of course, Christina and everybody else around us that's been very supportive and helpful. I'm really proud of the commercial break that it got to the end of 2024. Solvent, let's put it that way.
- [29:17]
Kristen Joy Oatley
We always said we were the little.
- [29:19]
Brian Green
Little podcast that could. Yes. And still, by some people's measure, doing very well. I guess, by some people's measure. I'm not sure it's mine here for.
- [29:29]
Christina
Us, but we made it.
- [29:31]
Brian Green
The first half of the year was we scraped our knees, that's for sure. But I'm proud of us. We did it, and I am very grateful for that. Okay, another thing that you loved in 2024, then we're gonna get on to hate, because that's the funnel one.
- [29:45]
Kristen Joy Oatley
Well, no, I mean, personally, I, I, I was happy that, I mean, finally, the mountain monsters called Bigfoot.
- [29:52]
Brian Green
Hey, there you go. They did.
- [29:54]
Kristen Joy Oatley
They did this year.
- [29:55]
Brian Green
They did, didn't they? No, not that I saw.
- [29:59]
Kristen Joy Oatley
They said they did.
- [30:00]
Brian Green
Oh, they said. Okay, they, they, they did capture a glimpse of something on video. But we, I think, determined that that was not a monster, but a man with a hat.
- [30:12]
Kristen Joy Oatley
I know. All right, there's no show.
- [30:14]
Brian Green
Yeah. Season number nine. People are begging for season nine.
- [30:18]
Kristen Joy Oatley
That's one of my desires.
- [30:19]
Brian Green
Oh, that's one of your desires is season number nine of Mountain Monsters. I'll tell you what. Me too. Because contractually, we have another 222 episodes to go. I need some content ideas. All right. Another thing that you loved in 2024, Christina. That's a good one.
- [30:33]
Christina
Actually, I loved Below Deck this year. I got really into it. I watched all of Below Deck. I watch is solid. It's addictive, regular Below Deck. They really got me through some of our tougher times.
- [30:47]
Kristen Joy Oatley
Sailing.
- [30:48]
Christina
Yeah, I haven't watched Sailing Sailing yet. Just Down Under.
- [30:52]
Kristen Joy Oatley
I've watched the. Also the. The one. The adventure one.
- [30:55]
Christina
Oh, I haven't watched that one yet either. I've kind of been back in a few minutes.
- [30:59]
Brian Green
Everyone take a break, and we're gonna let Christina. All right. Below Deck was good for Christina.
- [31:08]
Kristen Joy Oatley
And it's beautiful scenery.
- [31:10]
Brian Green
Yes.
- [31:10]
Kristen Joy Oatley
Which is what I was telling Brian. It is. It brings me a lot of places.
- [31:14]
Christina
And you would really, like, relate to the whole serving aspect of it, because, like, if you've worked in, like, the restaurant industry at all, you're just like, yes.
- [31:23]
Kristen Joy Oatley
You have to smile.
- [31:24]
Christina
Like, you just. You relate to them in this way.
- [31:28]
Brian Green
Okay. Below Deck. Putting that on the list of things that I probably will never watch, but it's on the list.
- [31:34]
Christina
You should.
- [31:35]
Brian Green
I will say that I loved in. In 2024. I did love my Instagram algorithm, which is on fucking Fleet.
- [31:46]
Kristen Joy Oatley
You love that.
- [31:47]
Brian Green
And Christina hates when I say that. But I'm telling you right now, it is so good. It is so original. It is so dedicated to the weirdness of the world. It is so. I don't know. Instagram. I've fallen in love with Instagram this year because that algorithm is amazing. And the content that it serves me up is delicious in so many ways, horrible in other ways, sexy in a lot of ways, because I like those photographs. But I'm being honest. Instagram's. My algorithm on Instagram is something to behold. I think it's a national treasure, quite frankly. But that. But I think a lot of other people think that too. I think Instagram will work the way you ask it to work.
- [32:23]
Kristen Joy Oatley
Tailored.
- [32:24]
Brian Green
Eventually. Yeah.
- [32:25]
Kristen Joy Oatley
Specific, like AI.
- [32:26]
Brian Green
All right, let's move on to hate. What is something you hated in 2024?
- [32:30]
Kristen Joy Oatley
Something I hated in 2024. Let me look at this traffic on the way home after the Christmas episode. Yes.
- [32:42]
Christina
Honestly. Almost killed me. I was. Almost killed me off.
- [32:48]
Brian Green
Yeah, That's. You know, there's no. There's no getting around it. That is not the greatest part of working at the commercial break is driving where the actual studio is. I don't have to drive anywhere.
- [33:02]
Kristen Joy Oatley
It's all good.
- [33:03]
Brian Green
But just feel. Just know this. I have a lot of empathy for where you're coming from. I understand the traffic is not fun. And if I was sitting in that.
- [33:10]
Kristen Joy Oatley
Traffic, I would blow fucking gasket in my head.
- [33:13]
Brian Green
So where was it just yesterday?
- [33:14]
Kristen Joy Oatley
Yes.
- [33:15]
Brian Green
Wow.
- [33:15]
Christina
Yeah.
- [33:16]
Brian Green
Okay. It was terrible. That is one of the worst traffic days of the year is the Wednesday before Christmas. Yeah.
- [33:22]
Kristen Joy Oatley
Which also made me think that next year we should plan out our time that we're recording then.
- [33:27]
Brian Green
We will.
- [33:27]
Kristen Joy Oatley
Well, we will do it.
- [33:28]
Brian Green
Well, listen, because of medical issues and other things, we just couldn't get it earlier than it needed to get. And we also then took a couple extra days off for shits and giggles. I'm not sure why. Ah, we'll get to it. It's all good. I got a plan.
- [33:42]
Kristen Joy Oatley
It's over now.
- [33:42]
Brian Green
And every day the plan compacted just a little bit more.
- [33:46]
Kristen Joy Oatley
It's in the past.
- [33:47]
Brian Green
All right. Something you hated in 2024.
- [33:50]
Christina
Me?
- [33:50]
Brian Green
Yes.
- [33:50]
Christina
Okay. I hated not having air conditioning in my car.
- [33:54]
Brian Green
Oh.
- [33:55]
Christina
And I refuse to fix it. It's my own fault. But I just. These Atlanta summers, they are not getting cooler. No, they're not getting cooler, and I'm getting sweatier and I'm getting more irritable.
- [34:05]
Brian Green
Yeah. You need to get that fixed.
- [34:07]
Christina
I'm not going to. My car is 22 years old.
- [34:10]
Kristen Joy Oatley
Out of principle, I'm not putting any money that I don't have to in it. I get it.
- [34:14]
Brian Green
Hold on, hold on. How much does it cost to fix the air conditioning?
- [34:17]
Christina
It's like a grand. It's like what my car's worth.
- [34:19]
Brian Green
Okay, but you need air conditioning or a new car. You can't go without air conditioning. And here in Atlanta, you're gonna die.
- [34:26]
Christina
Gets me from point A to point B.
- [34:28]
Brian Green
Okay.
- [34:28]
Christina
And I will. Yeah.
- [34:30]
Brian Green
This is coming from a guy who had half a car, and I was driving it down the highway.
- [34:33]
Kristen Joy Oatley
Christina was talking about it. I was like, look, we have all. I mean, I drove around with half the side of my car scraped for, like, three years.
- [34:41]
Brian Green
Yes.
- [34:41]
Kristen Joy Oatley
I was like, I refuse to get it fixed.
- [34:44]
Brian Green
Okay, what did you hate? I'll tell you what I hated in 2020 for. And this is a bit on the serious side. I really hated the election season.
- [34:53]
Kristen Joy Oatley
Yes.
- [34:53]
Brian Green
I hated it. I hated it. I hated it. It made me stressed. It made me anxious. People treated each other with disgust and disrespect. And it continues. And I gotta be real frank about this. I don't give a shit who you voted for. It's Your right to vote for whomever you want to. But if we don't start calming down in this country, we are going to come unglued. If it's not too late already. It will be very soon. And I just wish, I hope, I. I just pray, and I mean meditate, whatever. I pray that in 2025 there is some adult in the room. Adults in the room. All of us being adults in the room that can take it down a couple of degrees, rev down. Because we are going to rip each other apart. And it's not needed. It's not necessary. We can fight for what's right. We can fight for what we believe. We don't have to literally kill each other. That's all I gotta say. And I hated that about 2024. And I'll never forget it. It's like a scar that I think we'll all wear for a very long time. And that's not just because the outcome wasn't my favorite. I can deal with part. It's how everybody on both sides of the aisle treated each other running up to that election. It was just terrible. Okay, so now, things you regretted in 2024. What did you regret in 2024? This one I'm hoping will be introspective.
- [36:16]
Kristen Joy Oatley
Oh, okay, let me see.
- [36:18]
Brian Green
But Chrissy says no, it's gonna. It's gonna be Teresa Caputo.
- [36:21]
Kristen Joy Oatley
I said that Jeff and I didn't cook naked enough.
- [36:24]
Brian Green
Oh, there you go. Hey, that's a good one. That is a good one.
- [36:28]
Kristen Joy Oatley
2025 goals.
- [36:29]
Brian Green
That is a good one. And when you guys cook naked, please videotape it. I'll Instagram it for you since you don't like to do that. I'll put it up there and I'll even put little blurbs. I'll blur it out for you.
- [36:42]
Kristen Joy Oatley
Okay.
- [36:42]
Brian Green
All right. Something you regretted in 2024.
- [36:46]
Christina
Okay. Something I regretted. This is a joke. It was all the hours I listened to TCP choice and joke. But my serious one is not. Not being able to figure out my health stuff sooner. Yeah, like, if. I think. Not following my gut, I guess. Well, literally and figuratively, because I went to, like, my. My first doctor months ago saying I think this is the problem. He did not believe me. He told me, like, he did not let me do the test for it. It was like, a horrible experience. And then, like, come December, turns out, it was the thing I thought it was at the start. So that sucks.
- [37:33]
Brian Green
This is, like, kind of funny, but at the same time, not funny. But this is a True. I think this is something that I learned in 2024. There is absolutely no one on this earth who is going to care for you like you are going to care for you. You have to be your own advocate at every turn, at every corner, at every question mark. And if someone. If someone in the medical field is not giving you the attention or the answers that you think you need, then you go somewhere else or you do something else until someone does. That's it. Period. End of sentence. And I will tell you what it is. The same thing with me. For 20, maybe 20 years, I had a tumor wreaking havoc on the chemicals in my body, and I had no idea. And for at least seven or eight years, someone did have an idea and chose not to say anything. Whether that was a mistake, I'm sure it was an honest mistake. I don't think they were trying to kill me. But they didn't say anything. And even when I noticed, I thought, oh, well, if the doctor's not saying anything, then I shouldn't say anything. So that's a good one. I'll tell you what I regretted this year. I regret that Astrid and I did not get more time as a couple. And I hope that changes in 2025. So many children, so many things, so much chaos, so much drama with the commercial break. And we just had a lot going on in 2025. And I think we got, like, a total of, like, 10, you know, hours alone together. That wasn't after the kids went to bed. And in 2025, babe, that's gonna change. 11 hours coming your way in 2025. I promise you. Cause I love you.
- [39:06]
Kristen Joy Oatley
You're upping the ante.
- [39:08]
Brian Green
I am upping the ante. All right. Okay, so let's do this. I know it's a little bit early. Let's flip to a break. And then after we flip to the break, we're gonna start a clock, and we're gonna talk about what we want moving forward in 2025. The desires. Chrissy, The Desires. My Jeff naked. More in 2025. That's what. That's one of them. We'll talk about a couple of them.
- [39:29]
Kristen Joy Oatley
Fonda's there, you know, filming.
- [39:31]
Brian Green
Oh, man. Henry Fonda hasn't made an appearance on this show in three years he's been away. Maybe that's what I regret, that Henry Fonda wasn't here enough in season number five. You know what I regret? 3,000 episodes of the commercial break. I regret I didn't say no. All right, let's take a break. And when we get back back, we'll all count down to the new Year together.
- [39:56]
Christina
Brian might have just said it's time to take a break, but some of us have to work right now. And by work, I mean gently nudge you, nay beg you to follow us on Instagram at the commercial break and on TikTok CBpodcast. Because listen, the more followers we get, the more clout I get with Chrissy and Brian. If you've got something to say, give us a call and leave us a Voice voicemail at 212-4333, TCV or shoot us a text. One more thing, check out our website tcvpodcast.com where you can find all of our audio and video and even request a new sticker from the contact us form. Bye.
- [40:37]
Kristen Joy Oatley
What is Dax, are you tracking all.
- [40:39]
Brian Green
Our cars on Carvana Value Tracker on all our devices? Yes, Kristen, yes I am. Well, I've been looking for my phone for in Dax's domain we see all. So we always know what our cars are worth. All of them? All of them. Value surge trucks up 3.9%. That's a great offer. I know. Sell.
- [40:59]
Kristen Joy Oatley
Sell.
- [41:00]
Brian Green
Track your car's value with Carvana Value Tracker today. This episode is brought to you by Google Gemini. With the Gemini app, you can talk live and have a real time conversation with an AI assistant. It's great for all kinds of things like if you want to practice for an upcoming interview, ask for advice on things to do in a new city, or brainstorm creative ideas. And by the way, this script was actually read by Gemini. Download the Gemini app for iOS and Android today. Must be 18 to use Gemini live. Alright, for those of you at home that want to do this with us, feel free to start your 10 minute timer. I'll give you like 15 seconds to get your clock out and start your 10 minute timer. Or to start this episode when 10 minutes on that, whatever, whatever you're watching, however you do it starts. So I'll give you a couple of seconds. We've got our champagne here. We dress very nicely. We're talking about all the things we've got. We got our red underwear on. I don't have my red underwear on, but I don't have any wear underwear on. So there you go. I'm free balling it. Yes. I'm hoping that Jeff comes in and jingles my jangles. I was listening to one of the episodes we did. We were talking about ringing the bell and I'm like, Brian.
- [42:14]
Kristen Joy Oatley
Oh, I came.
- [42:14]
Brian Green
Up with a no Wonder the parents hate you at the school. No wonder.
- [42:19]
Kristen Joy Oatley
I told Jeff that it got a lot of miles.
- [42:21]
Brian Green
It did get a lot of miles. It got 15 minutes of conversation. Yes. And then I'm. And then I gotta go pick my kid up from school later. I could just see like, you know, all those cars parked in the parking lot. I gotta imagine at least two of them are listening to the most recent episode of the commercial rig list. To me, talk about a finger in my anus.
- [42:39]
Kristen Joy Oatley
Yeah, your. Your secret is not secret anymore. That the. Did the teacher come out and go, I know, I know.
- [42:46]
Brian Green
Yes, a teacher came out and said, I know at one of the schools. And then at the other school, they. They printed our email addresses. I don't even put our. My work email address on a doctor's office. I'm so embarrassed. I'm like, no, give them that personal Gmail. Can't let that cat out of the box. Because we all do it, right? We all get an email from somebody and we go, let me check out that website, see what's going on. Yeah, what does that guy do? Tcp, podcast. What is that? Let me see that. Oh, oh, oh. Well, I guess they're letting anybody in the school now. I guess there's no more. There's no more checks and balances at this school. All right, so let's start that 10 minute timer now.
- [43:37]
Kristen Joy Oatley
Well, where is that?
- [43:39]
Brian Green
Where is that 10 minute timer? What happened? Timer. Hold on. Don't start your 10 minute timer yet.
- [43:47]
Christina
I can put a timestamp in the episode for when everyone.
- [43:50]
Brian Green
Yeah, but I wanted to start it. We need it so that we can.
- [43:53]
Christina
No, I know, but I'm just saying, like, don't stress about it. People will know when to.
- [43:57]
Brian Green
Oh, Gotcha, gotcha, gotcha. Go watch this on YouTube.
- [44:00]
Christina
11:49.
- [44:01]
Kristen Joy Oatley
Here, I'll start the timer.
- [44:03]
Brian Green
I got it, I got it. 10 minute timer starts right now. All right, here we go. The next episode of the commercial break starts now. All right. Things we want to accomplish in 2025. The things that we desire or desire. Accomplish or desire. Go, Chrissy.
- [44:20]
Kristen Joy Oatley
Well, I think I said it earlier. The mountain monsters. I mean, more episodes.
- [44:23]
Brian Green
More episodes. Season number nine.
- [44:25]
Kristen Joy Oatley
And also I'd like to see a little bit more of a shakeup in the monsters.
- [44:29]
Brian Green
Yeah, that's true. They keep on going after the same four monsters all the time.
- [44:32]
Kristen Joy Oatley
I want a good witch. A good.
- [44:34]
Brian Green
A witch. A ghost, a ghoul. A ghoul, A goblin. A Kabul goblin. What does that mean? Kabul ghoul? The ghoul of Kabul. Yes. That's what I want to see, too. I want to see that guy kneeling with the fight. You know, I want to. Yeah, I agree with you. But, you know, to be fair to mountain monsters, they do branch out. There's the little Indian girl that's walking through the cornfield. I mean, they have a lot of stuff. There's people leaving a messages. There's blood, pig blood on the wall. They found a couple of dead animals. I mean, you know, they try and switch it up, but let's be real about it. After nine seasons and 130 episodes of the commercial break, we were having trouble with content ideas. Yeah, the five huckleberries later, they do have at least two huckleberries. I swear they do. Because if you look at the early huckleberry and the most recent huckleberry, they just don't look alike. I'm sorry. I'm not convinced at all. All right, Christina, Desire in 2025.
- [45:26]
Christina
I. I want my cats to get along.
- [45:29]
Kristen Joy Oatley
Oh, yeah, she got a new kitten.
- [45:31]
Christina
I got a new kitten recently. And my. My OG cat, the big boss of the house, she is not very happy right now, and she's been very, very stressed out yesterday, and it made me so sad.
- [45:43]
Brian Green
Okay, they'll get along.
- [45:45]
Kristen Joy Oatley
They will.
- [45:46]
Brian Green
I said that eventually that'll. They'll come together.
- [45:48]
Christina
I'm so nervous. My emotions are her emotions. You know, we are one woman.
- [45:55]
Brian Green
All right?
- [45:56]
Kristen Joy Oatley
She's been with you for a long time.
- [45:57]
Brian Green
So I desire in 2025, a couple things. First of all, a lot more massages. I didn't get enough massages in 2024. I want massages. Not the boscolo kind. I just want a regular, nice massage every once in a while. Maybe once every other month. I'd like that. Number two, I want to see the commercial break raised to new heights. And by that, I mean that's on my list in the positive and not in the negative.
- [46:20]
Kristen Joy Oatley
That was on my list.
- [46:21]
Christina
That was on mine, too.
- [46:23]
Kristen Joy Oatley
We can all agree.
- [46:24]
Brian Green
Number three, and most importantly and only you can help us do this. I want to get to 10,000 YouTube subscribers. I have a. I have a mild goal here, guys. A mild goal. And I realize we've been terrible about social media, but for the last couple of weeks, you'll have to admit things have been much better. So if you could please follow us on Instagram and YouTube. TikTok I really don't care about. Because, I mean, I care about TikTok, but I'm not sure TikTok's gonna be around. I gotta be real honest. I think they may move forward with that ban, and I think we may not have TikTok, because I think they're gonna. They wanna kind of step on China's neck a little bit, so I hope all of that goes.
- [47:01]
Kristen Joy Oatley
Banned from TikTok.
- [47:02]
Brian Green
Astrid's banned from TikTok. She's banned from TikTok and we have no idea why. And we know people who work at TikTok, and we have no idea how to get her back on TikTok. She never made one post. Never. And they kicked her out, and now they won't let her back on. And no one knows why. No one can answer the question.
- [47:20]
Christina
Maybe she was cyberbullying you and you just didn't know you put you on a troll.
- [47:23]
Brian Green
But it was Astra. Yeah, she was logging into my account, checking out all the girls in bikinis that I have.
- [47:30]
Kristen Joy Oatley
Yeah, it's like I'm banned.
- [47:32]
Brian Green
Yeah, TikTok's not as bad. My TikTok is not as bad as my TikTok.
- [47:36]
Kristen Joy Oatley
I'm banned.
- [47:37]
Brian Green
Yeah, you're banned. Right, exactly. You didn't even know what TikTok was until July. And that's fair enough. That's fair enough. Well, listen, we do have to say it's been a very eventful year here at the commercial break. From Theresa Caputo to the mountain monsters, all the content, the time off, the live shows that didn't end up happening, that may end up happening in the future. The switch of the studio. Christina, in here with us. It has been a wild and wacky year for the commercial break. And I do have to say we are extraordinarily grateful for everyone that has listened to the commercial break. Because by listening to the commercial break, believe it or not, you actually make us a little bit of money. And that helps us create that content over and over and over again. We do four episodes a week. It's not the world's hardest job. It's not even a hard job, but it does take a lot of time. And we put a lot of care and effort into doing it. Despite what it may sound like, we actually try. But the best part of tcb, the best thing, the thing that I will never regret, is all the wonderful people that listen to us and write in and say, you know, like, this job can be lonely. You talk into a microphone, you don't hear anything back. Except for the people in the room, you don't hear anything back. And so the only feedback that you ever really get is either yourself or the Other two people that now sit in the room. And so it's not like comedy or doing a concert where, you know, you can see in people's faces all that. And sometimes, like when you're in July and you're on your 700th episode and you don't know what you're going to talk about and you hope it's funny and you're just trying to, you know, be funny, it can get. I guess it can be lonely. Even when you have somebody that you're doing the show with, it can be a little lonely because you have no idea. But what keeps me going every time is when I pick up the phone, the TCB phone, or when I look at our reviews or our comments and I see that people say something nice. And some of the best messages we've got is, my life is not really great right now, but I can count on the commercial break for a laugh. And that has kept me going.
- [49:36]
Kristen Joy Oatley
You guys are a worse train wreck.
- [49:38]
Brian Green
Yes, yes. Just like. Just like your reality shows. You guys are. I'm. I'm fetish watching you for your shitty content. I'm saying, well, my life's pretty bad. I lost my job, my car don't work, my wife left me. But look at Brian and Chrissy. They still think they're gonna make this work. They're still holding out hope, so can I. Exactly. They think they have a chance. I might as well, too. Why not? Hey, listen, anything's possible. If the commercial break after five season has shown everybody one thing, it's that blind faith will either lead you down, lead you off a cliff, or up the mountain. One of the two. That's right. We haven't really figured it out yet, but, you know, I have a feeling, you know, as I'm watching, I was telling the girls before we came on that I'm watching a lot, and I mean a lot of Everest porn right now. Mount Everest porn. Is porn the right word? Yes, it is. Because it's just me watching for disaster to happen. I'm just like, at any moment, disaster could happen. And some people die. A lot of people die, actually try to go up that fucking mountain. And I think the reason why I like it is because it's something I will never do. I would never want to be up that high. I don't want to be on a ladder, let alone mountain.
- [51:00]
Kristen Joy Oatley
Oh, I could be flown in up to the top. I'd like that.
- [51:02]
Brian Green
I don't want to. You can't even fly up to the top.
- [51:05]
Kristen Joy Oatley
I don't Want the track?
- [51:06]
Brian Green
No. And apparently it's a very easy mountain to climb, technically, but it's, you know, without the, you know, not having any oxygen really does a number on the body fair. But I've been watching it, and I'm like, you know what? Blind faith. Blind faith will either get you killed.
- [51:23]
Kristen Joy Oatley
Perseverance.
- [51:24]
Brian Green
Or it will get you your name in the record book. One of the two. All right. 2:30 left before the New Year's girl.
- [51:32]
Kristen Joy Oatley
Should I pop the champagne?
- [51:33]
Brian Green
Well, I guess, but now's a better time than any. Don't hit me with that fucking cork. You know, I almost lost an eye once. Oh, you are. You're a professional champagne popper.
- [51:42]
Kristen Joy Oatley
I've had lots of experience.
- [51:43]
Brian Green
Well, I believe that. That I believe. I'll take your word, face value. Do you and Jeff drink a lot of champagne?
- [51:50]
Kristen Joy Oatley
No.
- [51:50]
Brian Green
No.
- [51:51]
Kristen Joy Oatley
But on occasion, yeah, on, you know.
- [51:52]
Brian Green
On New Year's Eve, I always end up with a headache because of the champagne, and that drives me crazy.
- [51:56]
Kristen Joy Oatley
Some good stuff. I love that sound.
- [51:59]
Brian Green
What is that? Vro.
- [52:00]
Kristen Joy Oatley
No, it's not V. I didn't sprint for that. We're not making that V money.
- [52:04]
Brian Green
I thought.
- [52:05]
Christina
That's right.
- [52:06]
Brian Green
We're not even making that money. What is that? Saint Hilaire.
- [52:10]
Kristen Joy Oatley
We're not.
- [52:11]
Brian Green
Gotta watch out, guys. Sir, you're st. Hilarious.
- [52:15]
Kristen Joy Oatley
Hey, would you like to do the tasting with your testies?
- [52:17]
Brian Green
Yes, I'd like to taste my testies, please. Thank you. Just a dash there. I don't want to get my balls too wet. Oh, it's fantastic.
- [52:27]
Kristen Joy Oatley
Fantastic.
- [52:28]
Brian Green
Lovely. This is a fine year. What is that? 20, 23.
- [52:33]
Kristen Joy Oatley
Your balls are straight on.
- [52:35]
Brian Green
Yes, A wonderful year for Saint Hilaire. Champagne chanelaire. I love how Chrissy pours half a bottle. Watch it. You watch your ears. Yeah, yeah. Oh, look at this. All right, here we are with a glass of champagne. And we should make a toast.
- [52:55]
Kristen Joy Oatley
We should.
- [52:56]
Brian Green
We should make a toast. I don't know what toast to make, but I'm trying to think of one. But. But I'll. I'll make it up as we go. Here's to those that aren't here. Here's to those that are near and dear. And here's to those who were going to cheer. All right, there you go.
- [53:15]
Kristen Joy Oatley
Cheers.
- [53:16]
Brian Green
Cheers.
- [53:17]
Kristen Joy Oatley
I love you guys.
- [53:18]
Brian Green
47 minutes, 45 seconds on the clock. Now, ladies and gentlemen, I wish you a fond New Year. I bid adieu to 2024. You shitty fucking year.
- [53:28]
Christina
Yes, that's right.
- [53:29]
Brian Green
Go in the trash, never come back. We'll see you in 2028. We'll do it again then. If democracy's still around. If democracy is still a thing. We'll be in this 2020, 2028. Sorry.
- [53:42]
Kristen Joy Oatley
Year.
- [53:42]
Brian Green
I feel it. I can feel it. All right, 20 seconds left here on the clock. 18, 17, 16, 15, 14, 13, 12, 11, 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. Happy New Year. Oh, gosh. There you go. I work.
- [54:09]
Christina
I was supposed to do something here.
- [54:10]
Brian Green
You're all right. It's one of those years.
- [54:12]
Christina
It's coming. It's coming.
- [54:14]
Brian Green
Look, it says done.
- [54:17]
Christina
There you go.
- [54:25]
Brian Green
Cheers, my friend. Till next year. Till next year.
- [54:31]
Kristen Joy Oatley
Cheers to you listeners.
- [54:34]
Brian Green
I want to cheers you at heart home. No matter what you're doing, no matter where you are. I hope your new year brings you luck and love and wealth and health. And I also hope you listen to the commercial break. Because I want those things also. I want those things. I have desires too, guys. Tell a friend, tell a family member. Yeah. More massages and more listeners. Those two things.
- [54:59]
Christina
We got a vision board over here.
- [55:01]
Brian Green
Yeah. I really do want more of the.
- [55:03]
Kristen Joy Oatley
Vision board for the studio.
- [55:04]
Christina
Yeah, yeah.
- [55:05]
Brian Green
We should wait.
- [55:06]
Christina
That's so cute. Let's make a group vision board.
- [55:09]
Brian Green
I like it.
- [55:11]
Kristen Joy Oatley
I love it.
- [55:12]
Brian Green
All right. I. I'm trying to. We have Man Dollar Shave Club is one of our sponsors. I'm trying to keep any of the men around listening. Although I think that might be a lost cause at this point if our Spotify is any indication. I think that might be a lost cause at this point. Well, bye. 2024.
- [55:30]
Kristen Joy Oatley
Women rule the world.
- [55:31]
Brian Green
Hola. 2025. My son doesn't like the fact that it's turning 2025. Cause he doesn't want to have to learn how to write a new year. And I said, hey, listen, get used to it, kid. It happens all the time. All right, well, listen, I don't know how much more we can do today, but we will be back tomorrow to nurse your hangover with you. A brand new episode of the commercial break on New Year's Day. What else could you ask for? Wow. And that' that is in the books, I think. 226 episodes of the commercial break this year. This year in December, we will have broadcast 24 of the 31 days of the month or 24 episodes. That's 50% more commercial break in December than any other month of the year. Congratulations to us. Congratulations to you on all the good tidings and all the good cheer. Well, you know, sometimes things remain the Same like our website. TCB podcast.com. nothing changed in the year. There you go. TCB podcast.com is where you get all the information about the show, the audio, the video right there from one location. And every episode, including this one, is available on that website. Audio and video. You can also get your free TCB schwag. You want a sticker. You want a couple stickers that. I think we might actually have some T shirts somewhere. If you want something, write in. Go to the contact us button, drop down menu. I want my free sticker. Drop us a message with your physical address. Let us know what you want and what you need. And who knows, Astrid may bless you in the new year with some good TCB Schweg. Mempho stickers.
- [57:08]
Kristen Joy Oatley
Mempho stickers I can get three years ago.
- [57:10]
Brian Green
Oh, you can?
- [57:10]
Kristen Joy Oatley
Yeah.
- [57:11]
Brian Green
Well, no, I mean mempho stickers. The commercial break.
- [57:13]
Kristen Joy Oatley
Oh, right.
- [57:14]
Brian Green
Or a mempho sticker.
- [57:16]
Kristen Joy Oatley
Yeah.
- [57:16]
Brian Green
If we start giving away Memphis stickers, people are definitely gonna write in 212-433. TCB. That's 212-433-3822. Questions, comments, concerns, content, ideas. Tell us how your holidays were. We'd love to hear your crazy stories, your interesting anecdotes. What'd you get for Christmas? What'd you not get for Christmas? How shitty are your children? How shitty is your uncle? How sexy is your cousin? I want to know all about it.
- [57:44]
Kristen Joy Oatley
Oh my God. The sex cousin.
- [57:46]
Brian Green
The sex cousin. Yes. Everyone has a sexy cousin. You know you do. And I want to hear about it. You know you do. It's okay. You don't have to them. You can still desire them. You know what I'm saying? Brothers and sisters. Ah, ah, ah. Cousins is okay. It's one step removed. 212-433-38. Add the commercial commercial break on Instagram. TCB podcast on the aforementioned. As long as it sticks around. Tick tock. That's TCB podcast and YouTube.com the commercial break. Thanks, Dr. Phil. All the episodes available the same day on Spotify a few days later. Okay, Chrissy. That's all I can do this year.
- [58:26]
Kristen Joy Oatley
I think so.
- [58:27]
Brian Green
I'll tell you that I love you and I love you best. You invest you out there in the podcast universe and YouTube. Christine. Until next next time, we all say, we do say, and we must say goodbye.
- [58:38]
Kristen Joy Oatley
This episode is brought to you by Dutch Bros. Get stoked for all the holly jolly vibes this season at Dutch Bros. Stay cozy with returning winter faves. Hazelnut truffle mocha and Candy cane mocha. Plus, the new Winter Shimmer Rebel energy drink blends up sweet cream and blue razz flavor with soft top and shimmer.
- [58:56]
Christina
Sprinks to keep those spirits energized all winter long.
- [59:00]
Brian Green
Download the Dutch Bros app to find your nearest shop.
- [59:02]
Christina
Order ahead and start earning rewards.
- [59:07]
Brian Green
This year, Santa's bringing the power of Energizer into his workshop. Whoa.
- [59:12]
Christina
The Energizer Bunny's got so much power.
- [59:14]
Kristen Joy Oatley
Wait, he's powered up all the toys? I think that means we're done for the year. I love this bunny.
- [59:20]
Brian Green
He's the hardest working helper the North Pole has ever seen. And he wants all your gifts to have the power of the number one longest lasting Double A battery. So this holiday season, stock up on Santa's and the elves favorite battery. Energizer Ultimate Lithium.
- [59:52]
Kristen Joy Oatley
Ra.