5738 Minutes Of Bryan's Life!

Summary

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The Commercial Break

Episode: 5738 Minutes Of Bryan's Life!

Date: February 5, 2025
Hosts: Bryan Green & Krissy Hoadley

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Episode Overview

This episode of The Commercial Break dives into the chaos and hilarity of pop culture’s latest shock moments, focusing on the uproar at the Grammys, viral sexcapade records, and the ever-absurd edges of society and fame. Bryan and Krissy riff on celebrity antics, question the boundaries of public decency, and veer into deepening their “cheesecake factory” take on everything from medical tourism in Turkey to sex worker world records. It’s improv-comedy, unfiltered hot takes, and a lot of playful banter.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Listener Shoutout & Show Style (00:00–01:20)

• Sid from Maine calls in, praising the show for brightening his days and noting he prefers Bryan’s comedy to calming classical music.
• Bryan and Krissy acknowledge their “chaotic, unpolished charm” and thank listeners for their engagement.

2. Grammy Madness & Bianca Censori’s Naked Stunt (01:20–06:09)

• The main cultural event dissected is Kanye “Ye” West and Bianca Censori’s shocking appearance at the Grammys, with Bianca’s head-turning full-nude fishnet outfit.

• "Bianca’s vagina and her boobs were just hanging out on the Rolling Stone IG... Who made that editorial decision?"
  —Bryan (02:47)

• Both hosts question whether there’s anything left to shock at award shows and lampoon the “anything goes” nature of celebrity culture.

• Discussion on whether such a stunt moves fashion forward or is “just there for shock and to have people talk about them.” (05:19)

3. Grammy Performances & Event Review (06:09–14:50)

• Praises for Grammy’s new format: fewer on-air awards, more creative showcases (“The Grammys got that part right... less yammering, more performances.”—Bryan, 10:25).
• Favorite performances include Shaboozey, Chapel Roan, Teddy Swims, Doechii, and Sabrina Carpenter’s elaborate set pieces.
• Gentle ribbing about Bryan’s age and how surprisingly well he kept up with the current music ("I'm not very hip with the kids, except my own children who are too young to know I'm not cool."—Bryan, 11:37).
• Observations on Taylor Swift’s carefree attitude and mastery of PR:

  "Taylor has crafted an image that is almost untouchable. She’s done a great job."
  —Bryan (14:21)

4. Audience Etiquette and Calls for Respect (16:23–18:21)

• Both lament the lack of respect shown by live Grammy attendees who were chatting and mingling during performances.

  "Sit the fuck down and shut the fuck up. Did you see that cowboy hat guy just talking through the show?"
  —Bryan (16:52)

• Bryan volunteers to police audience behavior next year for CBS.

5. Will & Jaden Smith’s Bizarre Cameos (18:21–19:56)

• Brian and Krissy confuse and amuse at Jaden Smith wearing a castle on his head, speculating on hidden meanings—or lack thereof.

  "When your dad’s running around smacking comedians, you’re gonna have a hard childhood."
  —Bryan (19:00)

• The hosts riff on absurd fashion and attention stunts, drawing parallels to Bianca Censori.

6. Consent, Agency, and Spectacle (21:04–23:56)

• Thoughtful discussion on Bianca’s choices and the limits of public nudity:

  "There’s a time and place for certain things... not sure the Grammys is it."
  —Bryan (21:33)

• They consider Bianca’s educational background and autonomy, while acknowledging the spectacle as effective PR.

7. Listener Voicemails & Show Engagement (25:17–26:42)

• Encourages listeners to leave voicemails and interact with the show.
• Acknowledges the odd mix of positive and negative reviews (“Who takes the time to write a negative review about a podcast?”—Bryan, 26:41).

8. The Bonnie Blue Sex Marathon Saga (28:01–42:26)

• Breakdown of viral adult star Bonnie Blue’s record-breaking claims: 1,057 men in 12 hours, following a previous 100-man stunt.

  "I don't even know how you physically accomplish that. That's... about one a minute. That is intense."
  —Bryan (31:13)

• Krissy and Bryan have fun breaking down the numbers and logistics. They debate the stunt's affect and emotional aftermath, referencing a documentary on the experience.
• Discuss OnlyFans pulling her content for violating rules on large group features and speculate on platform policies and public shaming:

  "OnlyFans has rules? Is there no safe place to have sex with a thousand people?"
  —Bryan (34:14)

• Memorable moment: One participant brought his mom along for the day! (36:31)
• Discussion about the blurry lines of agency, exploitation, and the line between “achievement” and “spectacle” in online sex work.

9. Medical Tourism & Turkey as Surgery Hotspot (44:07–47:56)

• They shift to medical tourism, marveling at Turkey’s popularity for dental and hair procedures.

  "Turkey has one of the most advanced medical systems in the world. For a thousand dollars you can get every test that's ever been known to man."
  —Bryan (45:15)

• Bryan and Krissy fantasize about getting full cosmetic overhauls and discuss the affordability and comprehensiveness of preventive care abroad vs. the U.S. health system.

10. U.S. Healthcare Rant (49:35–51:48)

• Commentary on why such preventive care isn’t available in America, blaming high costs and insurance company bureaucracy.

11. Political Bribery, Silk Road Pardon, and Crypto Crime (52:01–56:56)

• Discuss the absurdity of recent political scandals—U.S. politicians getting bribed with gold bars and airline tickets.
• They are shocked by news that the creator of Silk Road, the notorious illegal darknet marketplace, was pardoned.

  "I cannot believe he let the guy who created Silk Road go, being such a teetotaler."
  —Bryan (53:12)

• Disbelief at the overlap of politics, crypto, and crime (“Let all the criminals go. Sounds great!”—Bryan, 55:39).
• They clarify the site’s involvement not only in drugs, but sex trafficking and even murder for hire.

12. Wrapping Up, Show Subscriptions, and Listener Calls (57:09–59:38)

• Jokes about starting their own OnlyFans for the podcast:

  "We should do this show on OnlyFans. Not Patreon, just straight to OnlyFans. Wonder if anybody would pay for it."
  —Bryan (57:10)

• Reiterates how to interact with the show, how to get a free TCB sticker, and teases a new one coming soon.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Bryan (02:47):
  “Her vagina and her boobs were just hanging out on, you know, the Rolling Stone. IG. Who made that editorial decision? …Was her vagina newsworthy enough to not put a black box down there?”

• Krissy (05:19):
  “Is the shock value of showing your vagina on the red carpet moving any kind of fashion ball forward or it's just there for shock?”

• Bryan (16:52):
  “She's right there. Can see you. Get. Sit the fuck down and shut the fuck up. Did you see? It was like a guy with a cowboy hat that was like, walking around talking to people?”

• Bryan (19:00):
  “When your dad's running around smacking comedians, you’re gonna have a hard childhood regardless.”

• Bryan (26:41):
  “Who takes the time to write a negative review about a podcast? …Why don't you just let other people find out how awful we are on their own?”

• Bryan (31:13):
  “I don't even know how you physically accomplish that. …That's about one a minute. That is intense. That is insane.”

• Bryan (34:14):
  “OnlyFans has rules? Is there no safe place to have sex with a thousand people in a 12 hour period?”

• Bryan (45:15):
  “Turkey has one of the most advanced medical systems in the world. …For a thousand dollars, you can get every test that's ever been known to man.”

• Bryan (53:12):
  “I cannot believe that he let the guy that created Silk Road go, being such a teetotaler.”

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• Listener Shoutout/open – 00:00
• Bianca’s Grammy Stunt – 01:20–06:09
• Grammys Review & Performances – 06:13–14:50
• Taylor Swift, PR & Audience Etiquette – 13:06–18:21
• Smith Family Fashion & Confusion – 18:21–19:56
• Bianca’s Agency & Public Nudity – 21:04–23:56
• Bonnie Blue’s Sex Record – 28:01–42:26
• Medical Tourism in Turkey – 44:07–47:56
• Healthcare Rant – 49:35–51:48
• Political Bribes & Silk Road – 52:01–56:56
• Wrap up: OnlyFans/Listener Calls – 57:09–59:38

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Tone & Style

Bryan and Krissy are irreverent and self-deprecating, toggling between sharp-edged satire and heartfelt, messy honesty about life, pop culture, and podcasting itself. The show is fast-paced, unfiltered, and gleefully wayward—embracing their “unpolished charm” and inviting listeners into their friendly chaos.

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For New Listeners

This episode provides a perfect snapshot of The Commercial Break’s freewheeling mix of comedy and cultural hot takes. Whether they’re skewering celebrity nonsense or questioning the sanity of world records, their mix of observational humor and genuine curiosity keeps things fresh and unvarnished. If you like your podcasts a little wild, a little wry, and a lot unstructured, you’re in the right place.

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Transcript

[A]

Hey guys, it's Sid up here in Maine. I just wanted to say thank you guys for all you do. You guys are consistently a bright spot in my day. I listen to you guys every day. Always good for a laugh. Just the other day I was having a hard time at work and my girl sent me a link to some classical music. I said, what is that about? And she said, it'll calm you down. I said, honey, don't worry. Brian's yelling in my ear about blow jobs right now. I think I'm pretty good. Keep up the good work. Best you.

[B]

On this episode of the commercial break. 5,778 times I am lagging far behind. Is that. Does that include myself? Does that include sex with myself? Because if it includes sex with myself, I know I'm well up over 10,000. But if includes sex with other people, I don't know that I've even reached a thousand. 5,778.

[C]

She just better get to it, Brian.

[B]

I know Chrissy well. Well, never mind. I'm not gonna be.

[C]

Well, look what happens then. You have 30 kids, so.

[B]

Well, we know I've had sex 30 times at least. The next episode of the commercial break starts now. 2:30 in the morning. Oh, yeah. Guys and kittens, welcome back to the commercial break. I'm Brian Green. This is my dear friend and the co host of the show, Kristen Joy Hoadley. Best to you, Kristen.

[C]

Best to you, Brian.

[B]

Best to you out there in the podcast universe. Pardon my interruption. Hope everyone's doing well out there. What a night. What a spectacular night. The Grammys. Chrissy, is there no sacred space anymore? Is there no sacred ground?

[C]

Well, there's no shock anymore. Now it's just gone.

[B]

When you're doing. When you're literally doing it. Yeah, you're doing an ovulation test, walking down the red carpet, then there you go.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

What else is there to say?

[C]

Bianca. Sensory.

[B]

Oh, Bianca was all aglow at the show that she did not even get invited to, apparently. This is crazy. So you had to have heard about this listener out there in the audience.

[C]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

But Yee and Bianca showed up to the Grammys of. To which they were not invited. They had no invitation to go. But who in their right mind is.

[C]

Going to tell him away?

[B]

Yeah, who in the. Who on the red carpet is going to turn Yee away when he shows up with Bianca? Of course they're going to be let in and the producers are going to quickly scramble to get him a chair because he is PR gold. But what they didn't expect is that halfway down the red carpet, Bianca would undress. And when I say undress, I mean the full fucking Monty.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

At around 8:05pm I will remember this for the rest of my life. Where were you when your wife texted the first picture of a naked woman not herself? I was in my studio. I was in my studio.

[C]

I should send it out.

[B]

She did. She sent it out to the group Rolling Stone. The Instagram for Rolling Stone sent out those pictures unedited. No censor whatsoever. So at least for a period of time, her vagina and her boobs were just hanging out on, you know, the Rolling Stone. Ig, who made that editorial decision? I'm wondering, what did Rolling Stone decide it was? Her vagina was newsworthy enough to not put a black box down there.

[C]

I mean, it was. It was pretty newsworthy.

[B]

It was pretty newsworthy, I gotta say. What else is there? What? What do we have left?

[C]

Nothing.

[B]

Where do we go from here? There is. What are we gonna do? Show our gaping anuses next time we walk down the red carpet?

[C]

I mean, the Grammys has always been a place where pushed the limits of fashion. But. Yeah, I don't know if you, you know, who was she?

[B]

Who was.

[C]

Who did design that?

[B]

There's no designing about. No one designed anything.

[C]

It's fishnet.

[B]

It's just a fishnet. Yes, I'm sure Yee designed it. I'm sure it was a Ye design. Right? I hate calling him Ye, by the way. Kanye. That's his fucking name. Okay, Kanye. I'm sorry, but I never bought into all the Kanye hype. I never really cared for the guy. Now, I am no hip hop expert. Let's just put that there. Anyway, I am clearly a white Midwestern old man from Chicago who likes a certain flavor of hip hop and rap. And Ye was just never my thing. Kanye was in the beginning.

[C]

He had some good stuff.

[B]

You thought so? Yeah. I was never convinced. Never convinced. But now he has just completely gone off the rail. There is no semblance of normality. And I think he's trying to troll us all. But the joke, I think is not funny anymore. It's just stupid. That woman looks like a fucking hostage. And I'm sorry, if it's her choice to be out on the red carpet completely naked, then God bless her. I don't know why you would make that choice, but okay.

[C]

Sex, drugs and rock and roll leading up to this. We've been talking about it for a couple of years now. I feel like with all of the crazy non outfits that she's been wearing. So this was just the culmination.

[B]

She has been showing up topless to the Cheesecake Factory for years. Years she's been showing up. And why? I don't know. Listen, I'm all about nipple equality, of course.

[D]

Right.

[B]

A little nipple never changes.

[C]

All bodies are beautiful.

[B]

Yes.

[C]

And, you know, good for her.

[B]

I don't disagree. I think Bianca has a lovely, beautiful body. And good for her on the beautiful body. Do we. Is the shock value of showing your vagina on the red carpet moving any kind of fashion ball forward or it's just there for shock?

[C]

Yeah, it's. I think it was just there for shock and just to have to talk. Talk about them.

[B]

Yes, of course.

[C]

Really? There's not a lot going on other than this.

[B]

Mission accomplished. You got the commercial break to talk about you yet again. I'm sure this will show.

[C]

And everybody in the world.

[B]

Oh, yeah, everybody's talking about it. And so now here's the question. Did you. Did they get kicked out or were they asked to leave or did they just leave on their own? There's a lot of conflicting reports. My opinion is that the producers at cbs, the people who are directing the show, quickly made the decision that Yee and Bianca could not be allowed anywhere on that floor for fear that she may try and complete the same type of stunt live on television. And then what would they do? They'd have to dump part of the show. Right?

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

So I don't know. But I do have to say I think the most exciting thing about the Grammys was Bianca being naked.

[C]

There were some good performances.

[B]

Yeah, I agree. I watched. I watched most of it.

[C]

Let's.

[B]

Let's review some of these just so we can get it out of the way. I thought the Open. Brittany Howard, Brad Paisley, Sheryl Crow. I liked how they focused on the fires. One of the things that I thought CBS got really right about the Grammys was allowing local businesses to have free airtime.

[C]

Right. That was really nice.

[B]

And put celebrities in the commercial so they got a little bit of extra attention. My personal opinion. What a great call, because I'm sure that. I'm sure 30 seconds on the Grammys has got to be a million bucks. Gotta be a million bucks. And I hope it moved the needle for some of those people because they desperately need it. Yeah. So they opened the show with kind of this tribute.

[C]

That's the one part I missed.

[B]

Oh, you missed it.

[C]

It was the very, very beginning.

[B]

I have it recorded if you want to watch it. Listen, it was a lovely. They sang the song We Love la, which is a. Who's that guy who sings all those songs about la? You know, the one that does Toy Story and do you know who I'm talking about?

[C]

No.

[B]

No. Okay, well, great. Another. Another commercial break mishap here where we have no fucking clue what we're talking about. I love LA is. Hold on one second. I want to get this right.

[C]

I love la.

[B]

That's it. That was the song. I love it.

[C]

Yes.

[B]

Which is kind of weird to see all those people sing it. Randy Newman.

[C]

Oh, Randy Newman.

[B]

Yeah. Randy Newman has kind of an interesting career. He did I love LA, which was a super hit back in the late 80s, I think. Yeah. And then he went on to do all of the Toy Story movies, a lot of the Pixar stuff, which. They're great songs. They're wonderful. But that's like, kind of, in my opinion, like the zenith of his career is the Toy Story movie. That's kind of the best music he does. But anyway, I love L. A. They open up with that. And then Trevor Noah, I thought, did a job, you know, I think Trevor Noah can be so fucking funny, and I think he can be so fucking biting, and I think he's got satire for days. I don't think this was. I don't think he was like. I don't think this was the place for it. He felt like. So he kept it very tame, very mild, very middle of the road. So I didn't think it was particularly funny. I didn't think it was offensive. I. I thought it was fine. Trevor Noah is a great guy and I. I thought it was fine. Which were some of the performances that you enjoyed the most?

[C]

Yeah, I loved the. The Shaboozi we talked about Shibu.

[B]

Oh, Shibuzzi. Might make me go buy a country album.

[C]

That was cool. I like the Chapel.

[B]

Roan Chape is always sitting on that big pink pony. Dochi's amazing. Dochi has got me liking hip hop again. I think Dochi made an album that's, like, worthy of some of the best albums that have been out there, in my opinion. Again, no hip hop. I mean, I am a hip hop expert. I can freestyle really well. I won't do it here on the commercial break, but, I mean, if you want to. I'll tell you what, I'll make you a deal. I'll freestyle if you wear a Bianca dress.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

How's that? Yep, Done deal. Next episode of the commercial break, Chrissy Odley's vagina Live on the commercial, Rick.

[C]

Yeah. Nude fishnet.

[B]

Dochi was amazing. I like how they strung all of those artists together. Like Dochi, Teddy Swims, Shibuzzi. They kind of put them in, like, one big.

[C]

Yes. Here's Krongman.

[B]

Krongman played.

[C]

It was new artists, right? Wasn't that the category that they were all performing for?

[B]

Yeah, all the new. Yeah, new artists. The people that were up for new artists. But Krongman wasn't up for new artists. They just came back with. Came back from a commercial and they were playing.

[C]

No, they were. They were up for new artists.

[B]

Oh, they were. Then why were they Been around for forever. Yeah. And why were they separated from that whole thing? Like, it started and then it stopped, and then they did, like, they were.

[C]

Just kind of doing snippets, I think, of all the new artists. But they were up for next.

[B]

Okay, so they're amazing.

[C]

They are.

[B]

They're one of my favorite bands that's out there today, but I like how they started together. Here's what the Grammys gets right that a lot of award shows get wrong is that when you're celebrating the creativity and the art that these people are making, show the creativity and the art and stop all the yammering. You know what I'm saying? So the Grammys only had, like, five categories that they announced there on the CBS on the actual broadcast, because the rest of them are given out in an awards ceremony earlier in the day.

[C]

Right.

[B]

Like, you know, best, best second draft audio engineering. No one fucking cares. I mean, people care in the business. Yes, but not the people watching CBS to see the performances in the fashion. So I think they did a good job. Listen, if the Oscars would get on this. Get on this particular, you know, bandwagon here and just show parts of the movie that we really, really liked, then I think we could all agree that the Oscars might be worthy of a watch. But the Oscars is so much yammering. It's like three hours of fucking yammering and patting each other on the back and jacking each other off. It's hard to watch the entire thing. I think the Grammys got that part right. I like, if I'm being honest.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Sabrina Carpenter did a very complicated set piece number that kind of, to me, hearkened back to some of the Madonna stuff. Like just these, like, complicated set pieces. A lot of dancers, moving parts, costume changes. Do you like Sabrina Carpenter?

[C]

I mean, I don't dislike her.

[B]

I don't dislike her either.

[C]

Love her. I'M not turning her on when I have a chance.

[B]

Chrissy Hoadley doesn't turn Sabrina Carpenter, but.

[C]

I know she's very, very popular.

[B]

Let the social media attacking begin the song.

[C]

What was Espresso? Something about that Espresso.

[B]

Yeah. You're asking the wrong guy about Sabrina. I thought you knew actually what the thing that surprised me is a very, very old man who is not very hip with the kids, except my own children who are too young to know I'm not cool. I will say that I was surprised at how many of the artists I did know. How much of the music was familiar to me, how much I actually think I am kind of in the fl at least the Grammys in that flow. I mean, I knew most of the songs that were sung except for Sabrina Carpenter. It's no knock on Sabrina. It's just not my flav of music chapel. Ron.

[C]

Love it.

[B]

Amazing. Shabuzzi. Lovely. Teddy Swims has got a voice that is like 350 years old. Teddy Swims is amazing, isn't he? From Lawrenceville, Georgia?

[C]

Is he?

[B]

He is. He's from Lawrenceville, Georgia. And let me tell you something, Lawrenceville, Georgia is not a hotbed of creativity. In case anybody doesn't live here doesn't know. Lawrenceville, Georgia is not where you would expect Teddy Swims to come from. But I also think when you look at Teddy Swims, you don't expect that incredible voice to come out of that person. And it is like soul crushing. He has really got a talent. I don't know where he got all that gravel in his throat, but I'll take that. I'll take all that you're giving me. I swear to God. That guy's good.

[C]

Yes. There's a reason he was in the mix.

[B]

I do have to say that I noticed during. I noticed a couple things. Number one, it appeared that Taylor Swift was sitting on Cynthia Erivo's lap. Did you see that?

[C]

Well, I think. Cause she's so tall.

[B]

Oh, is that what was going on?

[C]

The camera angle? It did make it seem like.

[B]

Yeah. It appeared as if Taylor had just popped a squat right on Cynthia's lap. It seemed really weird. And I think that somebody in the production staff should have made an effort to separate the two of them a little bit so it didn't look like they were dating. It was really strange. If you watched it then, you know.

[C]

Yeah. It was like she was having fun.

[B]

Oh, Taylor. Yeah. Yeah.

[C]

I just came off a hugely successful world tour for two years. I don't care If I don't get anything tonight, let's, you know, cheer other people on.

[B]

You do not give two fucking rat tails of a shit about anything when you're worth $2 billion.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Nothing's gonna break your stride. You know that old song, you know, ain't nothing gonna break my stride Ain't nothing gonna bring me down oh, no. I'm worth a billion dollars. I said. I swear to God. What's gonna fuck with her flow? Nothing. Who cares? Okay? I didn't win this Grammy. I've won 35 other Grammys. I've got a shelf full of them in one of my 36 houses across the world. There's two of them on my private plane. My first private plane. Not my second private plane that I use for Travis. Hey, listen, good for her. Absolutely.

[C]

She's there to have fun.

[B]

Yeah. It's hard to be a spoil sport when you've already won everything. And if she was kind of bratty about it. Taylor is a PR genius. She really is. Say what you will about her. Love her, hate her. Be a swifty, don't be a swifty. Think it's all bullshit. Whatever. Taylor has crafted an image that is almost untouchable. Now, everything is touchable, but it's almost untouchable. She is really done a great job.

[C]

I mean, I don't know anybody that doesn't specifically does not like her.

[B]

I do know people that don't like her. Yeah, yeah. I'll name one after we get off the break here. Somebody we know very. They don't like her because.

[C]

Man or woman?

[B]

Woman.

[C]

Okay? Really?

[B]

Woman. For reasons that are just, in my opinion, petty and being silly and looking for dirt. Do you know what I'm saying? Like, you know. Oh, a billionaire. There's an argument out there that billionaires can't be billionaires unless they do some really terrible things to other human beings.

[C]

Oh, okay.

[B]

I understand the premise of the argument. I understand that if you do kind of like a big thought experiment in your head imagining all the ways that billionaires fuck people over in order to get their money, that that might make sense. But I don't think that. That. I don't think any stereotype is 100% true.

[C]

That's a blanket.

[B]

Like, who did she screw in order to get her million dollars?

[C]

I don't think anybody.

[B]

That one dude. That one dude. What was his name? Scooter. Scooter Braun. Okay, Scooter Braun. He screwed her, he screwed her, she screwed him. Now everybody screwing each other. Who fucking cares? Billionaires pissing over $300 million. Who cares? You got to admit, Taylor's done a great job for herself. And I celebrated. I say congratulations to Taylor. But I also noticed that, especially like when. When Sabrina Carpenter was playing, the way that CBS had the camera angles, I noticed that there were a lot of people in the audience that were just generally cheating and chatting over.

[C]

I thought I saw that.

[B]

Did you see that?

[C]

I thought I saw that.

[B]

That was fucking rude.

[C]

I kind of is rude.

[B]

Yeah. I mean, come on, guys, you get it. You're lucky enough to get an invite to the Grammys to sit on the fucking floor. The best seats you'll ever get to anything ever in your entire life. And then all you can do is fucking pass cocaine back and forth and yammer the entire time. Give the girl a break. You may not be a Sabrina Carpenter fan, and maybe that particular performance wasn't the best of the night, but give her the due respect.

[C]

Yeah, I think it's rude to talk while somebody's performing.

[B]

She's right there. Can see you. Get. Sit the fuck down and shut the fuck up. Did you see? It was like a guy with a cowboy hat that was like, walking around talking to people. It's like, dude, take your hat off. You're. First of all, you're in the shot. Second of all, shut up. Let the girls sing for fucking sake.

[C]

This isn't like, you know, the mix and mingle time.

[B]

Yeah. This isn't the Roxy on the LA strip on a Thursday night. Give the girl some respect. For sure. But that was happening during other performances, too.

[C]

I saw that.

[B]

Those producers at CBS need to get those people under control. You need help, next year, you let me know. I am as fussy as they come when I need to be, and I will go talk to anybody. I don't give a shit. I don't give a shit who it is. Taylor Swift, Elton John. I don't give a shit. I'll tell him to sit down and shut up. Pass the cocaine to me, please, so I can get on with my job in a more anxious way. Yes, yes. You, You. Brian's like directing airplane traffic up from the stage. Is that a sign language interpreter? Nope. That's just Brian high on cocaine. That's just Brian little too high on cocaine. Yeah, I did notice that there was a lot of yammering going on while people were the one shot of the night that really got me pissed. I will say this is. They cut to Will Smith at some point. Will Smith with that stupid fucking smile on his face. I have Never been a huge Will Smith fan. I'm not a huge work. I'm not a huge fan of anything of his acting. It's just not for me.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

I have nothing personal against the guy. I'm not like, oh, he's an asshole. But then he kind of became an asshole when he hit Chris Rock.

[C]

I was wondering if this was his major, like, comeback.

[B]

Well, he ain't invited to the Oscars, right? So I think he's got a five kind of.

[C]

Yeah. Announcer. At least at the thing. And what about his. What about Jaden?

[B]

What is going on with those kids?

[C]

The headpiece?

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

What did that mean?

[B]

I don't know if you got this weird texting last night and I said, he's just scared of getting slapped by his dad, so he put a house on his head. Get my house out your mouth. Get my front door out your mouth.

[C]

What was the purpose of that?

[B]

I have no fucking clue. But when your dad's running around smacking the most famous comedian that's ever lived, I mean, you know, you're gonna have a. It's going to be a hard childhood regardless. Those kids grew up in such a bubble that they don't understand. Why did he put a castle on his head? I have no clue. Is it his new album, Castle? Check out my new album, Castle. I don't know. I have no idea. But it really was pretty dumb. I mean, listen, I get it. You're taking chances. You're trying to get some pr. I don't know that Jaden Smith would have gotten as much attention had he not had a castle on his head. Yeah, but let's make the assumption that he did this. Just like Bianca went nude because they wanted to get all the photogs flashing. He did that, but not in any kind of meaningful way. Like, why does. What conversation does that start? Like, Chrissy and I are just left. Chrissy and the group are just left confused about why there's a house on somebody's head. It doesn't make any sense.

[C]

We'll learn about it later.

[B]

Yes. If you're going to go. In my opinion, if you're going to go fashion forward. Right. Let there be something left to the imagination and let there be a storyline to what you're wearing. This piece was created by. This is because I'm doing this. This is in celebration of the firefighters who. Something along the lines of, I've got a story to tell. Now, admittedly, I did not hear the story about Jaden Smith. I don't think anybody bothered to ask. I Think people were like, Will Smith's your dad. There you go. You get a pass and you get a pass. But, like, you know, let's. There has, it has to make some kind of sense. Like in the realm of reality, you put Mr. Rogers toy castle on your head. It doesn't make much sense. At least, Bianca, we know what, we know what the story is. Sex sells. I need photographers. Kanye desperately needs to stay in the limelight. Desperately. So now he's got Bianca doing his bidding for him. Do you think she's under some kind of duress?

[C]

I don't know. I don't think so, but I. Her facial expressions are weird.

[B]

Her face is blank. She looks blank.

[C]

You know, I was looking, I was looking her up earlier. She's got, like, a bachelor and a master's degree.

[B]

She's very smart woman.

[C]

She's very smart. So, I mean, I think he's her ticket to some kind of fame. And if this is what it takes, she's up for it.

[B]

Showing your vag.

[C]

Yeah. I don't know how.

[B]

I mean, listen, let's, let's, let's roll this back just for one second, not get to, you know, 40 somethings about this. There are plenty of people who go naked.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

For fame and money. Plenty of people. Plenty of people do it for work, as a legitimate job. Plenty of people take it a lot further than just walking down the red carpet. And I don't argue with anybody's, anybody's ability or freedom to do exactly what they want. I just think there's a time and a place for certain things. And I'm not sure that the Grammys, like, I was watching the Grammys when I was like, nine. I was so interested in music. I was watching when I was 8 or 9 years old with some kind of intent. Right. I wanted to watch the Grammys. There's children watching. There's no point to you being naked. It's just causing a stir. And I don't understand why you had to go, like, full vag. Well, you wouldn't be able to do something to the imagination. Yeah.

[C]

You wouldn't be able to just walk down the street.

[B]

No. You get arrested.

[C]

So, yeah, maybe let that be the cutoff.

[B]

Yes. If it's illegal, don't do it.

[C]

If you're likely to get down Peachtree street in Atlanta, then.

[B]

Yeah, but I'd like to see you try, Chrissy. I'd like to see you try. We should get Jeff in, like, a pimp jacket and get you in one of those Bianca dresses.

[C]

He'll wear his chef apron.

[B]

Oh, he can wear his chef apron. Bare assed chef apron. Chrissy fur coat walking down Peachtree Street. And let's see how many people we can get to take a picture review. Let's see how quickly that gets in. TMZ for sure. Hey, listen, as they say, any PR is good pr. And Christy, we just need you to do this just this once, okay? And don't worry, because once people have seen it, there's, you know, that's it.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Once it's been seen, what does it really matter? At the end of the day, if someone took a picture of my micro penis and put it all over the Internet while it's out there, why not show it again?

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Then we can feel free for you to do the show completely naked. Yes. I'm going to make you do it. I don't know if she's under some kind of duress, but it does seem a bit. The whole situation seems a bit weird. So my belief is either they are both in their own little world, knowing that they are trolling people and feeling some kind of way about the art of it, like the actual experience of it. They're making a statement that we just don't understand or that we don't care about, or ye is convincing her to do this and he is holding money and fame as kind of a negotiating tool in that relationship. Or then there's the worst case scenario, which is just, just she's kind of like, you know, under his thumb. I don't know. Either way, it's got us talking. So.

[C]

It does. That's the point.

[B]

There you go. All right, so let's talk more about more stuff after we take a break. We'll be back.

[E]

Hey, it's Rachel, your new voice of God here on tcb. And just like you, I'm wondering just how much longer this podcast can continue. Let's all rejoice that another episode has made it to your ears. And I'll rejoice that my check is in the mail. Speaking of mail, get your free TCB sticker in the mail by going to tcbpodcast.com and visiting the Contact Us page. You can also find the entire commercial break library audio and video just in case you want to look at [e-mail] Want your voice to be on an episode of the show? Leave us a message at 212-4333, TCB. That's 212-433-3822. Tell us how much you love us. And we'll be sure to let the world know on a future episode. Or you could make fun of us. That'd be fine too. We might not air that, but maybe. Oh, and if you're shy, that's okay. Just send a text. We'll respond. Now I'm gonna go check the mailbox for payment while you check out our sponsors and then we'll return to this episode of the commercial break.

[B]

Yep. Hey, hey, hey. We're back. Yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep. Hey, I wanted to say a couple of things real quick about before we get off the topic. Did you see that? That girl Ray who sang.

[C]

Yes.

[B]

The British lady.

[C]

Yes.

[B]

Oh, my God. Where did she come from?

[C]

She was very good. I know. I didn't know about it.

[B]

It's like Amy Winehouse meets Adele meets somebody else or other. She was. That voice was stunning, beautiful. Loved it. I'm gonna get into it. If I can remember. I will definitely play her music if my old man brain can remember to do that. I actually wrote a note. I said, oh, check her out. She's really good. But where did she come from?

[C]

I don't know.

[B]

I don't know. But she was amazing. So there you go. Okay, one more show related thing. So at the beginning of today's episode, you may have heard somebody left a voicemail for us. If you would like your voice to be on the commercial break, leave us a voicemail. 212-4333 TCB 212-433-3822. If you leave us a short voicemail, say hello, say goodbye. Tell me what a jerk off I am. I deserve it. It's okay. Go ahead and do that. And you may hear your voice at the beginning of a commercial break. Just a little. Just a little thing that I thought we would do.

[C]

Kristen, I love that.

[B]

For all of those wonderful people, most of which text in, I think they're afraid to use their real voice on the commercial break. We spent an entire episode talking about how embarrassed we were about our own podcast. So I can only imagine how other people feel about it.

[C]

I think we've got some good reviews, though. Thank you to those listeners out there that are leaving those.

[B]

We'll review some of those reviews later on in the week. And yeah, there's many, many good reviews. And then there's a few. Obviously there are going to be detractors.

[C]

They make me laugh.

[B]

Who takes the.

[C]

I know.

[B]

To write a negative review about a podcast? I mean, I get it 100%.

[C]

Like, you had to really not like.

[B]

It you have to really dislike what we're doing in order to take the time to go to Apple and write a negative review.

[C]

I think they're being helpful to other people.

[B]

I guess they think they're being helpful to other people. But why don't you just let other people find out how awful we are on their own? Please, can't you do that to all of our naysayers? And I would bet you dollars to donuts that some of those people who dislike the show so much are probably listening just as much as the people who really like the show tuning in. I hate listening to a few podcasts. I'm not gonna say who, but I hate listening to a few podcasts, including our own. Actually, I listen to it. My kids want to listen to the show now in the car. They want to listen to the show in the car because their mom sometimes on the way to school, she'll put on the show just to hear, you know, their commercials is edited. Right. She's like kind of like a fifth set of years on the editing process. Right? And so sometimes she'll put it on in the car. And I think to myself, why are you doing that? This show is terrible for. I mean, it's like the last thing.

[C]

You bring up a lot of questions.

[B]

It's going to bring up a lot of trauma is what's going to happen. Those kids are going to be in. Those kids are going to be in therapy forever. Do we know the porn star Bonnie Blue?

[C]

I do not.

[B]

Okay. Bonnie Blue is the young lady who about three months ago, did. Did literally did 100 guys in 24 hours.

[C]

Oh, that one. Yeah.

[B]

You remember this? Okay. Bonnie Blue. Only Fans star. Many hundreds of thousands of dollars every month worth of subscription cash that she gets. So she's one of the more popular creators on Only Fans. And she has been talking about this for a number of years, how she would like to have sex with multiple men in a day. That. That's something. She wanted to break some records. It's just like a. A personal achievement she wanted to do. I. It doesn't hurt the Only Fans cash either. And about three months ago, she did 100 men in a day. So she made an open casting call. If you are between this age and this age, if you are single, if you have a test, I guess is probably one of the prerequisites. I hope so too. You know, you must wear protection. You're going to get a couple of minutes with me, blah, blah, blah. So she did it. She rented a house in England Like a. Like a brownstone in England.

[C]

I was not expecting you to say England.

[B]

I know. I wasn't expecting London either. I mean, imagine the line of guys waiting outside, fluffing themselves up. How did. What are the neighbors thinking?

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. And by the way, whoever owns that Airbnb, I sure as shit hope you got it cleaned, man. That is like.

[C]

Yeah, they said no throwing parties, but they didn't say no throwing sex apart.

[B]

DNA all over my roof, all over my ceilings.

[C]

That's.

[B]

That's intense. There was a famous YouTube creator who followed her around for that day, making a rather kind of had, like, a serious look at what was going on. She allowed this not during the actual, like, act of having sex with these guys, but before and after. And she seems like a rather smart, intelligent human being who is just, you know, made some personal goal for herself. Kind of like the 28 days of TCB. Like, let's do it and let's see if we can get through it. Do you know what I'm saying?

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

So she's rather sweet and intelligent. Very beautiful young lady. Very young. But afterwards, after this is all over, the guy who. And I wanted to review this here on the commercial break, but I don't. I think I would feel bad about taking the views away from the guy who actually made this documentary. So if you want to go Google Bonnie on YouTube or you want to search on YouTube, I'm sure that that documentary will be one of the first that comes up. It's got a couple million views. But afterwards, she seems very emotionally distraught. Right.

[C]

I read about that.

[B]

She's doing a lot of crying. She's saying, you know, it wasn't that bad, and I don't feel all that bad, but emotionally and physically, I just think I went numb at some point. So a couple of days ago, she followed through on her promise to do 1000 guys in a day, and she did 1059 guys in a day. She screw 1059 guys in a day. I don't even know how you physically accomplish that. How do you get that done? What is that? I can see Tina's doing the same math that I'm doing here. It's 1,059 divided by 24.

[C]

How many minutes?

[B]

44 in an hour. That's about one a minute. That is intense. That is insane.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Let me read the.

[C]

Just a quick in and out.

[B]

What's that?

[C]

The quick in and out.

[B]

How do you do anything else but have a quick in and out one minute? I mean, I guess you just gotta Be. The guy's gotta be ready to go. There's no dilly dallying there. You gotta fluff yourself before you get into the room.

[C]

Definitely no foreplay.

[B]

Definitely no foreplay. No afterplay, no cigarette. You are just going in, knocking it out as quick as you have ever knocked it out before. And even a minute is a little quick for. It's even a little quick for.

[C]

You're staying up for 24 hours too. Wow.

[B]

Yeah. That's got to be intense. I don't know what drives somebody to do something like this. I'm sure she wants to get in the record books. I'm sure there's. If this is your job, it's a stunt that helps get attention for what you do. I am sure that she sold a million subscriptions to get this done in 24 hours. But just like the physical and emotional toll this must take on you is just insane. I haven't had sex with. I mean, I haven't probably had sex a thousand times in my life. In my entire life, I haven't had sex and I've only had sex with a few people, so. And I'm married for 10 years, so you would think that I probably would have gotten close to a thousand. I bet I haven't gotten anywhere close to a thousand.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

That's insane to do that in 24 hours.

[C]

It is. It's hard to think about.

[A]

For me.

[B]

It is hard to think about. What do you think? Like the average. How many times do you think the average person has sex in a lifetime? Like not sex with partners, but sex just in general.

[C]

Just total. The act.

[B]

Yeah, the act. Let me. Let me ask Google AI.

[C]

That's gotta be a wide range.

[B]

How many times does the average person have sex in a lifetime? Let's see. I'm sure that AI will know this. Oh, well, never mind. 5,000, 778 times. I am lagging far behind.

[C]

Huh?

[B]

Is that. Does that include myself? Does that include sex with myself? Because if includes sex with myself, I know I'm well up over 10,000, but if includes sex with other people, I don't know that I've even reached a thousand. 5,778.

[C]

She just better get to it, Brian.

[B]

I know, Chrissy. Well, never mind. I'm not going to bring you.

[C]

But look what happens then. You have 30 kids, so.

[B]

Well, we know I've had sex 30 times at least. So. Yeah. I just thought I'd mention this because after. Porn star Bonnie Blue. Controversial 1057. Excuse me. Porn star Bonnie Blue. Is being brutally roasted after her record breaking sex marathon with 1057 men in 12 hours 12 was banned. The high profile British sex worker whose Australian visa was canceled in November after public outcry over her viral schoolie stunt featuring featuring barely legal young men. She had planned to make a fortune by selling the video of her sleeping with 1057 men. However, the explicit video has since been removed from the 25 year old's subscription site after OnlyFans repeatedly said the X rated clip breached its rules. How is that.

[C]

That went too far?

[B]

How is that? How is that what. OnlyFans has rules? OnlyFans has rules? Is there no safe place to have sex with a thousand people in a 12 hour period? Only Fans is a platform designed for creators who have completed our comprehensive onboarding process and choose to monetize their content, said a spokesman. To keep our community safe, OnlyFans also verifies the age, identity and consent of all parties featured in explicit content. We do not allow large numbers of Only Fans creators to be featured on an account, even where release forms have been provided. Okay, well, there you go. Blue, who recorded the jaw dropping video at a $30,000 mansion famed for hosting illegal sex parties, has previously been vocal about why she makes her controversial content, stating that she often rage baits in order to boost subscriptions and ultimately line her pocketbook as a result. Rage bait means that you like people dislike you, they dislike what you're doing, they're really angry about something. So you post in order to bait them into interacting with you. Yes. As a result, social media are having a field day pointing out that Blue's shocking sex stunt was all for nothing. If she can't make money from it, imagine doing all that work for nothing, wrote one person on Facebook. What an anti climax, Scoffed another person. Others have pointed out no one has seen the video. Did it even happen until I see the video? Oh my God guys. You're such fucking morons. You're such fucking assholes. Why are you. Why are you poking this. This young lady? She wanted to have sex with a thousand guys in 12 hours to raise her subscription level. Didn't work out in her favor. Why do you have to throw bleach in the wound? Do I agree with having sex with a thousand people in 12 hours? What does it fucking matter what I think? Honestly? You want to have sex with a thousand guys? But there was some controversy that I read that maybe a couple of the guys were not of age even though they signed the release forms. No one really knows they're trying to get to the bottom of it. I'm sure the Internet will snuff them out one way or the other. One dude even brought his mom with him. He needed a ride to the event, so he brought his mom. His mom waited in line with him for like three hours until she had no idea what was going on. Until she got. Until they got up to the door and he had to sign the release form.

[E]

What?

[B]

Can you imagine?

[C]

No.

[B]

And he was a virgin, so there you go. Yes, it's all over TikTok. Or so he says. Right? Okay. He might also be rage baiting himself, but can you imagine? Hey mom, can you take me to the local orgy? Hey mom, I want to go get my balls busted. Can you take me to the orgy with Bonnie Blue?

[C]

Yeah, I don't know how that conversation goes.

[B]

Well, it goes like this, Mom, I'm trying to get a job, so I need a ride and I want you to stay in the car for about three hours. When I come back, I might smell like sloppy. Like sloppy sex. But it'll be okay. It's all part of the work, Mom. I don't know.

[C]

Well, first of all, did they get paid?

[B]

No, they don't get paid. No, no, of course not.

[C]

She wasn't sharing it with any of the young men.

[B]

Well, listen, would you. Isn't payment enough the fact that you get to have sex with a very nice looking young lady? I mean, yeah, guys minds don't work like that. They don't work like that. If first of all I wouldn't go because then I have to be on fucking camera having sex with somebody, right? All the lights, all the pressure, the timing, the fact that she' had sex with, you know, 600 men before me. I think all of that would cause my little wing wang not to be even half hard. My low T would be way low. Do you know what I'm saying? Why Brian 3000? What if I was just handing it out like I had a. What if I had a rubber glove? I've had this $30,000 mansion and the process goes like this. You wait in line, you go up, you sign the release form, you take off your clothes, you go into a bathroom where Brian has a mask on and a tube of why Brian 3000? I'm not going to whack you off. I get you to almost climax and then we throw you in the room with her.

[C]

You should reach out.

[B]

Oh, no pun intended, Chrissy. I should reach out. I don't know, I mean, there has to be like, if you Only have a minute. Not even a minute. 30 seconds. If you. That means that if she did this in 12 hours, she had sex with a hundred guys an hour. About. There's only 60 minutes in an hour. According to the math that I was taught, there's only 60 minutes in an hour. That means you have to do more than one in a minute.

[C]

This is like pump, pump out.

[D]

I did do some math.

[B]

What is it?

[D]

I did it on 10 hours. I didn't realize it was 12, but it was 1.7 per minute. So she did it in 10 hours, 30 seconds. Yes.

[B]

Holy.

[C]

It's a pump pumping out.

[B]

That is pump pumping out. Yeah.

[D]

And it begs the question, how do we define sex in this moment? Like, is it just doing something that you get an STD from? Is that what they're considering, sex? Because for me, somebody sticking it in for a minute, not really sex.

[B]

Well, it's not making love, that's for sure. Yeah, I would. My opinion is that this is simply the act of sticking your penis inside of the vaginas. Yeah. Is what they consider sex. In, in, out. And they probably have to be pre.

[C]

Out, In.

[B]

Yeah. In, out, in. Well, how about in, out? I think just in, out. If you have 30 seconds. It's just. I would just go in, stay there for a second, take a picture with my mind about all the beautifulness that was going on. And then I would pull out and.

[C]

Then get in the car. With your mom?

[B]

Yeah. Then I'd get in the car with my mom. Condom on, condom on. Like this. Hey, mom, what's up? How did it go? Well, I don't think I'm hired, Mom, but I fired it off. Mom. I finally got my dick wet. Mom. I can't imagine going with your mom. With your mom. Unbelievable. But, you know, hey, listen. To each their own. To each their own. If this is the way you lose your virginity, it's not very fun the first time anyway. Might as well be with a professional porn star who has lots of time.

[C]

Memorable.

[B]

Yeah, memorable. It's going to be on camera. No one's going to see it. I'm feeling good about this. If I'm one of the 1057 guys waking up the next day, I'm probably like, thank God. Thank God. That's not on. Only Fans. But I don't understand why only fans is so upset about this. I mean, if she did take the time, energy and effort to get a release form and check everybody's IDs, what's the big deal? Like, I mean, is every OnlyFans creator ever have all of the release forms? I don't know.

[C]

I don't know. They've got the whole age verification thing going on. A lot of these.

[B]

Well, you must, must, must age identify because these porn sites are literally. I mean, we all know it's not a secret when you have mass amounts of creator, creator content on your X rated site. A good chunk of that, and I don't know what it is, but it's got to be a 5 to 10% of that is probably not age verified or people that say it's age verified. But the women, especially in those videos are not. It's pre. It's prevalent throughout. Prevalent or prevalent? Is it prevalent or is it prevalent? Prevalent. Okay. It's got to be prevalent on these sites for sure. And so you must age identify. But this is a pretty high profile creator. And you have to imagine like if.

[C]

You had all the T's.

[B]

Yeah. All the I's dotted and T's crossed.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

And if I'm part of her team and she does have a team based on the movie that I watched, if I'm part of her team, I'm reaching out to OnlyFans, letting them know that this is happening and making sure that we can make money on this ahead of time. That would be like step number one. Am I breaking any of your rules? What if you did? They did a hundred. Why not a thousand? What's the difference? But I think part of this is because there have been some complaints about whether or not the all of the guys involved in it were of age.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Hey, listen, this is breaking news here at the commercial break. We're just getting on this. We're gonna do an investigative journal. I wish I could get Bonnie. I would love to get Bonnie on the show, actually. So maybe I'll make an effort to reach out to her. But I'm gonna take the first step. Step. And talk to my wife before I do anything. That's probably a great idea, right?

[C]

That is a great idea.

[B]

Because just because Astrid sent me a nude photograph of Bianca does not mean I can reach out to.

[C]

No.

[B]

Hell no. I gotta be careful. Listen, I'm too old to start again. I'm keeping Astrid at all costs. If that means no Bonnie Blue on the show. No Bonnie Blue. However, if she will come on the show and Astrid agrees, maybe we'll see if we can talk to her about all of this. All right, let's take a break.

[C]

Break.

[B]

And. Yeah, we'll be back.

[E]

Let me do something Brian has never done Be brief. Follow us on Instagram at the commercial break, text or call us 212-4333, tcb. That's 212-433-822. Visit our website tcbpodcast.com for all the audio, video and your free sticker. Then watch all the [e-mail] thecommercial commercial break and finally share the show. It's the best gift you could give a few aging podcasters. See, Brian, that really wasn't that difficult, Mal, was it? You're welcome.

[B]

Okay, Tina, in here in studio with us today helping us with the cameras and the audio. Thank you, Tina, Appreciate it. That's the voice of God that you just heard that came in there. I didn't mention that. So Tina was sharing with us that everybody who gets on to OnlyFans, even people who are participating in somebody else's Only Fans account, need to need to verify their identity in a similar way than if you go and start a Coinbase account or sometimes when you start a bank account online, they make you kind of do like a360 or a180 around your head to verify, I think through eyeball identification, I think through iris identification that you are the person that you say you are.

[C]

Yes. Which is good.

[B]

I agree with you a hundred percent. But I just feel bad for Bonnie that someone on her team didn't make that call ahead of time. Like that could have easily been done probably before the men even got to the point.

[C]

It was all in place before this, this took place.

[B]

Yeah, you have the record, you just don't have the money to show for it. But apparently she's making hundreds of thousands of dollars a month anyway, so I don't think this is going to ne, you know, might not hurt her, hurt her overall status. If you're making a couple hundred thousand dollars a month, you don't need to be on that Only Fans for long before you can do whatever the fuck it is you want to do. Do three or four years of Only Fans later, invest the money. That's right, I Then run to Turkey and get yourself some new teeth or a vaginoplasty. Vagioplasty. I was just reading that one of my friends took their mother in law to Turkey to get a new set of teeth. This is the newest, latest craze. Everybody is going to Turkey for, for surgeries. For surgeries. And there are going around the Internet, there are entire videos like TikTok videos 30, 40, 50 seconds long of somebody on an airplane taking a video of a bunch of American men with new hair.

[C]

Hair. The hair thing.

[B]

Yeah. Entire planes of men who went to go get their, you know, hair implants in Turkey.

[C]

Because it's Frankie on there.

[B]

I hope so. Last time we saw Frankie, his hair wasn't doing so hot. You know, entire airplanes of guys that were going there to get hair plugs.

[C]

It's a thing.

[B]

This is amazing. And apparently Turkey has one of the most advanced medical systems in the world. Like, you know, America has a very. Is the most advanced in the world, I think, but it's also one of the most up. And you got to pay $55,000 even to see a DO specialist these days in Turkey, for like a thousand dollars, you can get every test that's ever been known to man, every cancer test, every heart test, everything. You can do it in two days. They give you the results right there. And they put this kind of picture together of your health, like a very detailed picture together of your health.

[C]

I think that's great.

[B]

And you're out the door. Yeah, absolutely. Let's go to Turkey. The commercial break from Turkey. The.

[C]

Yeah, commercial break goes to Turkey.

[B]

That's right. That's a Turkey break. It's. We're going to go like. Let's go. Let's get some medical procedures done. I'll get my eyes. We'll get a facelift. I'll get some of that collagen that looks unnatural put in my lips. Maybe a butt lift.

[C]

Yes.

[B]

Penile implant.

[C]

Yeah, make your list.

[B]

I'll make my toes prettier. I'll get my kneecaps tightened because, you know, as you get older, your kneecaps sag a little bit. So I'm going to get my kneecaps tightened. I'll probably get some pec muscles implanted.

[C]

Oh, yeah, the. The pec implant.

[B]

Yeah. Don't they now have things where you can get. Washbo. They put like these plastic pieces of plastic. Yes. Let's get it all done. $560. I'll spend a couple of days over there in Turkey. I'll come back. Turkey's beautiful. If it wasn't for their dictator, I think everything would be great. Let's see if I can be excluded. Let's see if I can get myself uninvited from yet another country. Venezuela's already on the list.

[C]

See, Bonnie Blue has her personal goals. And you have.

[B]

I have my person. Bonnie Blue can't go to Australia or New Zealand. Brian can't go to Venezuela, Turkey, because that guy Erdogan is a fucking nut job. But I do hear that Turkey is beautiful. That it is cosmopolitan in some places. And now all these medical procedures, they're.

[C]

On part of our 90 day. Before the 90 days. Isn't somebody in Turkey that guy? I feel like. Yeah.

[B]

Was it that that dude who married the lady from Atlanta?

[C]

Somebody was in Turkey on one of those shows. It looked beautiful.

[B]

There was a hairdresser from Atlanta, from Kennesaw.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

And this is a couple seasons ago. And she married a guy who was from Turkey. And he was. He at the. He kind of came off as a jerk, like at the beginning. But then at the end you thought, oh, he's. He's actually a really nice guy. But since I don't know their names, I'm not going to talk much more about them.

[C]

Let's just leave it at the Turkey looks beautiful.

[B]

Yeah. But so I was just trolling Facebook, which I don't do very often, and one of my friends took her mother in law to go get a brand new set of teeth.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

And look at that. Isn't that. Those teeth look lovely.

[C]

Well, what am I looking at? Cause now I'm looking at. Coming soon.

[B]

Oh, coming soon. Brian with Bonnie Blue. Coming soon. Oh, I think you lost it. You made the mistake of. I hate this about this fucking iPhone. I will be looking at something on Instagram on the toilet. I'll go to zip up my jeans and I'll press somewhere else on the screen and I'll lose it forever, ever. And I was like, I just was looking at. You know what I'm saying? Fucking drives me crazy. Yes. Can Instagram have a. You just saw this kind of thing, do you know what I'm saying? Like, like YouTube does.

[C]

You saw this in the toilet?

[B]

Yes. You saw this in the toilet section. You were on the shitter section. Yeah.

[C]

They've got location based services.

[B]

Can they do Hot Topic Hot Dump like, you know what I'm saying? Hot Topic Hot dump. When you were dumping, this is what you were looking at. Because sometimes I lose it and then it's gone forever. And it was a really good reel. I wanted to see it again. It was uncensored, Bianca. I needed to see it again. I needed to zoom in on the vagina. How many guys last night were zooming in just to see.

[C]

I was zooming in.

[B]

I was too. I couldn't tell. I was like, is that like purposefully? Like a little bit, you know, it looked from far away like the dress had purposefully had a little bit of COVID up on the vagina. But if you Zoomed in. You clearly saw that. No, that was just stubble from her pubic hair.

[C]

I didn't go that far.

[B]

Oh, I went that far. I went way down the rabbit hole. I tried to get in her vagina with that zoom just to make sure that I was seeing what I was seeing. And for fuck's sake, it was really a vagina. It really was. But this turkey thing, I think this is wonderful. And I don't know why we don't do this here in the fucking United States, we have no preventative care. Preventative care is discouraged because it costs money. And then you don't make money. They don't make money on the medicine. It is completely ass backwards. And why are we all running to Turkey to get this done? Shouldn't this be available here in the United States? I understand that medicine, the United States costs money because it costs money to develop new drugs, new procedures, new things. And our doctors and surgeons, they should be paid extraordinarily well. But the insurance companies have fucked it all up for us. And now it's just so much fucking money to get anything done that you don't get preventative care. Like, you had a scan recently. How long did it take you to get that approved?

[C]

I mean, this one was pretty quick.

[B]

Oh, it was, yeah. Okay, that's a bad example. But there are other examples where it takes a long time to get that kind of stuff approved. I had to get a heart scan a number of years ago. I had so much frustration with my insurer trying to get that heart scan done that was recommended by a doctor because there is a history of widowmaker in my family. I was at the age where the doctor was like, you should get this done. You should go get a calcium score done.

[C]

That's what I had done.

[B]

Yes. Yeah. And you know what? The insurance company spent three months going back and forth with the doctor about whether or not this was a medically necessary procedure. And the doctor was like, I can't call it a medically necessary procedure, but it is medically informative. We need to know if there's a problem. That's right. And he's like, you know, probably was.

[C]

Because of your age.

[B]

But then there's that, you know, we should all be being getting these scans.

[C]

I think so too.

[B]

Once a year, scan me, and the time you're 20, get them done. And that way you got a baseline and you know, if something changes, changes, there's a problem. Go look into it, motherfucker. Let's go to Turkey. If anybody out there has Any connections with airlines, hotels, money, bank accounts that have more than 10 on it. If anybody out there doesn't.

[C]

Eric Adams from New York. Wasn't there a whole thing where he was involved in the Turkey airline? Are he flying Turkish Airlines?

[B]

Yeah, they were giving him free tickets. What's a few free tickets amongst friends?

[C]

We need to call Eric.

[B]

What's a couple million dollars in zoning bribes amongst friends? Do you know what I'm. I'm saying? Yeah, Eric Adams. I don't know what he's doing up there because I'm not in New York, but seemed like a nice guy. And then you've taken everybody's money for, like, to build, you know, build three inches outside the zone. I don't know. Guys, don't do that. Do it under the table like everybody else does it. Jesus. You're taking free plane tickets and writing it down in your book. It's, like, so stupid. Okay. And then there's that other guy, the Bob. Whatever his name was. He was, like, putting gold bars in his closet. Gold bars in your closet. That's. Senator, you know what I'm talking about. Bob Menendez. Yes, it was put. Yes, he got convicted. Of course he did. He was putting gold bars in his closet that people were bribing him with gold bars. Really? How stupid can you be? Yeah, sell somebody like everybody else does. Sell. That's how you buy your drugs. Come on, Bob, get it together. Speaking of drugs and. Speaking of drugs and. Turkey. Turkey. The most amazing thing happened and we totally forgot to talk about it. The guy who started Silk Road.

[C]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

Got pardoned by Trump. He got pardoned by Trump. Trump is a teetotaler. He has never taken a drink, smoked a cigarette, or done drugs in his life, according to him, because his brother died a terrible alcohol. And I think there was some other family issues around alcohol and drugs, so he has stayed away from it. Now, whatever you think of Trump, good for you. Trump. If you know that's going to be problematic, then don't do it. Right. I cannot believe that he let the guy that created Silk Road go, being such a teetotaler.

[C]

Yeah, well, I think it was the whole crypto thing. It was tied in crypto.

[B]

Brother, let the Silk Road guy go. Yeah, yeah. There's a couple fitting on deaths, a little bit of blood on his hands, but let him go. I don't know how I feel about this. You just started Silk Road and then people started facilitating it. I mean, you built it to facilitate.

[C]

Drug sales and sex trafficking.

[B]

Oh, I didn't know that. I didn't know Silk Road was into sex too. I thought it was just drugs.

[C]

All drugs and sex kind of go together well.

[B]

I mean, I didn't know you could buy sex. I didn't know you could like buy sex on Silk Road. I don't know. I never went to Silk Road because quite frankly, I am not competent enough in any computer language to figure out how to get on the dark web. I have no idea.

[C]

Bitcoin.

[B]

Bitcoin, yeah. If it includes bitcoin payment, I'm not in. Yeah, I'm not in.

[C]

I was like murder for hire, I think too, on Silk Road. Yeah, I think so.

[B]

Well, it's been so long since it's been around. There were. Oh, murder for hire is probably a bad one. Sex trafficking, I agree. If it was just the drugs, I might say, all right, but if you're literally helping to facilitate Murder for Hire and children getting bought and sold, no way, dude. You need to go to jail, spend a few years, years and then come out the other end a clear, crisp, clean human being and start Facebook too, like Mark Fuckerberg did. There's plenty of drugs and sex trafficking that goes on on Facebook, but they hire people to go to Washington and lobby on their behalf. That's how you play the game, dude. That's how you play the game. Obviously, obviously somebody was lobbying on behalf of the dude from Silk Road because you know that the dude from Silk Road probably has a big, big fucking bank account. And guess who else does. Sbf. Sam Bankman.

[C]

Fraud. Right? Yep.

[B]

He's. He's getting. Apparently Trump and somebody else are talking about pardoning him too.

[C]

Makes sense.

[B]

Let all of them. Let all the criminals go. Sounds great. Let's kick out all the hard working people. Fuck them. Let's. Let's start a trade war with everybody and then, then let's let all the criminals go. As long as they pay for the pardon. That sounds like a good idea. Unbelievable. Say Silk Road, dude. By the way, I need some, I need some, you know, need some dibbity dabs. Just a tasty teener. Tasty teener. Send my way. I don't hate you personally. I don't know you personally, but it just seems like a weird thing for Trump to do is to pardon a dude who started a major drug, sex and murder website. Trafficking.

[C]

It was like anything goes.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, it is anything goes. It is anything goes. What do you think? You think that like he can start Silk Road too, if he's pardoned for his crimes? Does that allow him to then go and start another website.

[C]

I'm sure he can do it.

[B]

I don't know how a pardon works, but I think it's kind of like all encompassing. Yeah, if you get. If you.

[C]

You're wiped clean.

[B]

Yeah, if you're wiped clean once, you just get to do it again. Huh. Interesting. I think you will. Maybe I should start lobbying for a pardon. I don't know what I did wrong yet, but I'm sure there's something thing. I'm sure the commercial break is in violation of some statute somewhere.

[C]

Yes, it is.

[B]

All right. Okay. Well, hey, listen. At least we do the show with clothes on, Bianca.

[C]

That's right.

[B]

All right, all right. At least for now.

[C]

For now?

[B]

Yeah, until we need to up our subscriptions on OnlyFans publicity. Right. We should do this show on Only Fans. We should start an only Fans account rather than have a Patreon. We should go straight to OnlyFans. I wonder if anybody would pay for it. We've had lots of people say they would pay us for a subscription. If we took the commercials out, they would pay for subscription, and I would do that, but it's just too difficult for me to put yet another version of this show together on a. On a. So we're just gonna deal with the commercials for now, okay? Hey, guys. Plus, at any moment, you could take your subscription away. You know what I'm saying? Like, you make that promise now, but then like a month and a half in.

[C]

What is this charge?

[B]

Yeah, your wife starts going, hey, we need to tighten. We needed to tighten our belt around here. This $1.99 you're paying every month for commercial break. It's got to go. It's got to go. I know that I'll be the first thing to go in your expenditures. I know it. I know no one needs the commercial break. And if I keep it free, at least you can have it. As long as I continue to do it, at least you can have it. So that's what's gonna stay. Hey, listen, if you want to be on the commercial break, call in, leave a message. 212-433-38222, 124333. TCB. Call in. Leave us a short message. Say something. Say whatever the you want to say it. Keep it under a minute, if you would. And then know that we may use that on a future open opening or inside of the show content. Also, we'd love to hear from you. So many text messages. I'm talking to so many people, Astrid. Everybody's talking to a lot of people. Join in the conversation. You can leave a text message Questions, comments, concerns, content, ideas 212-4333 TCB also, we'd love it if you would go to the website and request your free TCB sticker. Yes, we still do that. We have a gotten a new sticker in a long time.

[C]

Now we need to come up with a new one.

[B]

Asher and I were just talking about New Year new sticker New Year new sticker coming soon. So get in line. TCB podcast.com all the audio, all the video right there from one location. If you hit the contact us button drop down menu, I want my free sticker. You can give us your address and we'll send it to you at the commercial break on Instagram, TCB podcast on TikTok and YouTube.com commercial break for all the episodes on video the same day they air here on the audio. Okay Chrissy, that's all I can do for now.

[C]

I think so I'll tell you that I love you and I love you.

[B]

Best to you best you out there in the podcast universe. Until next time Chrissy and I will say we do say and we must say goodbye.