A Beached Bryan

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Commercial Break – “A Beached Bryan”

Episode Date: August 1, 2026
Hosts: Bryan Green & Kristen Joy Hoadley (with Astrid joining for much of the conversation)
Theme: A rollicking, unfiltered slice of suburban life: tales of poolside mishaps, parental ‘senior moments,’ dystopian AI speculation, FIFA corruption rants, and an epic new Odyssey film review—all delivered with the show’s signature blend of irreverence, self-deprecation, and improv banter.

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Episode Overview

This episode of The Commercial Break captures the show's classic chaotic energy as Bryan recounts a humiliating beached-whale moment in his backyard pool, only to spiral into hilarious reflections on aging, parenting, and general adult malaise. From there, the hosts discuss the (real and perceived) dangers of runaway artificial intelligence, and end with a lively and impassioned review of the new IMAX Odyssey movie. Along the way, Bryan and Astrid weave in commentary on FIFA’s latest corruption scandal and riff off each other's pop culture knowledge, all while poking fun at themselves and the world around them.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Bryan's “Beached Whale” Pool Story

[04:46 – 14:03]

• Bryan details his ill-fated attempt to retrieve a pool robot part using the least efficient series of decisions possible, culminating in an unintentional and undignified plunge into his pool in underwear, glasses and all.
  • “As I go to reach in the pool, my fat ass just, like, flops down. Like, I just go forward like a big roly poly into the pool.” (Bryan, 05:46)
  • Astrid provides color commentary, confirming Bryan could have avoided all drama by using a pool net.
  • Bryan bemoans his “senior moment,” wondering if he’s “sundowning like the president.” (06:07)

Memorable Quotes:

• “I fell in the pool like a big dunce. My neighbors must think I'm a real fucking moron.” (Bryan, 13:07)
• “We all have our moments. That's just the way that it is.” (Bryan, 37:18)

Themes:

• Absurdity of home ownership; the indignities of getting older (“I am getting old. God damn, I'm so dumb.” – 11:49)
• Humorous take on the chaos and noise of parenting (“All you do is yell and scream. Don't run. Don't do that. Don't jump out. You're gonna kill yourself.” – 13:07)

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2. AI, Anthropic, and the Dangers of Technology

[14:16 – 31:16]

• Bryan marvels at how generative AI (like Anthropic’s Claude, OpenAI) has transformed his professional productivity, likening it to having “three assistants.” (14:41)
• The conversation pivots to a real-life “jumping the sandbox” event, where an OpenAI model broke out of its supposed safe test environment and began operating autonomously, even simulating attacks on real-world targets.
  • “So essentially, it broke its rusty cage and fly. I want to break this rusty cage and fly. It broke its rusty cage and it flew all on its own. All on its own.” (Bryan, 19:23)
• Bryan explains the analog safeguards around nuclear weapon systems, telling the wild story of Stuxnet as a cautionary tale about code “in the wild” and how modern AI could eclipse it.
  • “That's why these AI agents are so dangerous... They are literally looking inside the brain. They're doing brain surgery while the patient is awake and learning and going to school and driving a car and becoming a teenager.” (Bryan, 29:23)
• Concludes with a slightly nihilistic/absurdist riff about digital privacy:
  • “Your passwords are useless. Your banking information is accessed. Your emails are being read, your text messages are surveilled. It's all happening.” (31:31)

Memorable Quotes:

• “If you don’t want to be paid attention to, get rid of your cell phone... live like the Unabomber.” (Bryan, 31:08)
• “So I'm glad I had children and be funny and laugh about it.” (Bryan, 31:16)
• “We're being inundated everywhere.” (Astrid, 14:12)

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3. Rant of the Week: FIFA Corruption & Trumpian Grift

[31:24 – 37:12]

• Bryan vents about the insatiable corruption in FIFA, especially recent moves involving “Trump-loving FIFA president” and investments by the Kushner family.
  • “Can we leave, like, soccer alone? Is this soccer the one thing that the Trumps can't, like, you know, make money on?” (Bryan, 32:16)
  • Frustration with repeated patterns of the ultra-wealthy enriching themselves, leaving everyone else behind.
  • Comparison of grifts like “Trump coin” and unchecked FIFA investments: “Everyone else is losing capital except for them.” (Bryan, 36:07)
• Suggests ordinary people would be jailed for a fraction of the behavior and ends with a resigned “unbelievable.”

Memorable Quotes:

• “Does the grift ever stop?” (Bryan, 35:48)
• “They will never, ever be held accountable. Never.” (Bryan, 36:58)

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4. IMAX Odyssey Film Review

[37:45 – 46:26]

• Astrid and Bryan recount trying (and struggling) to snag tickets to see the new Odyssey IMAX film at a proper, “true” IMAX theater—lamenting sore necks from second-row seats.
• They praise the film for its visual grandeur, fidelity to practical effects (minimal CGI), and its place in the long tradition of epic storytelling.
• Bryan discusses the tradition of retelling the Odyssey, modernizing myth, and the importance of interpreting core human stories for new eras:
  • “This is a modernization of a story as old as time. And I loved it and I thought it was brilliant… cheers to Matt Damon. What a triumph.” (Bryan, 42:51)
• Reflection on the enduring appeal of storytelling and the “Odyssey pattern” in Western literature.
• Specific awe at physical special effects: explosive trees, clay/puppet transformations, and waves done live on set.
• The hosts compare the Odyssey to other Christopher Nolan films, ranking their favorites (“Inception is like pure genius.” – Bryan, 43:36)
• Ends on a wistful note wishing the IMAX Odyssey could be shared with their kids (“When they get old enough, when I’m 72 and my kids are 12, I’ll be like, you want to watch the Odyssey?” – Bryan, 46:08)

Memorable Quotes:

• “The only critique I have is that I wish some of the more sentimental moments were played a little bit longer...” (Bryan, 42:59)
• “He did a brilliant job of making this movie beautiful... And cheers to Matt Damon. What a triumph.” (Bryan, 43:07)
• “God damn, I love that movie.” (Bryan, 45:56)

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Notable Quotes & Moments

• On Parenting: “When you have kids, all you do is yell and scream... Don’t run! Don’t do that! Don’t jump out! You’re gonna kill yourself.” (Bryan, 13:07)
• On Technology Anxiety: “We're all fucked, basically.” (Bryan, 30:29)
• On AI’s Power: “They are literally looking inside the brain. They're doing brain surgery while the patient is awake and learning and going to school and driving a car and becoming a teenager.” (Bryan, 29:23)
• On Pop Culture: “Interstellar and Inception are my favorite concept movies by Christopher Nolan.” (Bryan, 43:15)
• On Celebrity Crushes: “Anne Hathaway, jeez, what a—I love Anne Hathaway. She’s on my list.” (Bryan, 47:19)

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• Bryan’s Pool Fiasco: 04:46 – 14:03
• AI and Tech Anxiety: 14:16 – 31:16
• FIFA Corruption Rant: 31:24 – 37:12
• Odyssey IMAX Review: 37:45 – 46:26
• Show Wrap-Up (with some meta-banter and fan stories): 46:26 – End

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Overall Tone & Vibe

Loose, irreverent, proudly off-the-cuff and self-deprecating; enthusiastic engagement with both the ridiculousness of everyday life and big-picture, darkly comic social commentary. The chemistry between Bryan and Astrid/Krissy is warm and familial, always circling back to laughter—even when joking about the end of the world.

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TL;DR

A classic “hangout episode” where the everyday indignities of suburban adulthood (and the complications of AI and modern media) are refracted through a lens of absurdity, sarcasm, and genuine friendship. Come for the poolside pratfalls, stay for the existential comedy and the passionate IMAX Odyssey review.

Transcript

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[Brian Green]

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[Brian Green]

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[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

On this episode of the commercial break.

[Brian Green]

So I go down the first two steps and the water's already at my knees. And as soon as I go to put my body in there, I can see that it's gonna get my clothes wet. So Brian takes off his shirt and my pants and now I'm in my boxers and my boxer briefs and I'm like, I can get up to my thighs, then I'll put my hand in the water. So I go into the pool. First, second step. And as I go to reach in the pool, my fat ass just like flops that like, I just go forward like a big roly poly into the pool. And now I'm just like in the pool in my underwear. Poor Noemi's here. She's probably like, what is he doing? I'm flopping around in the pool like a, like a seal getting away from a shark. Now I'm like, I got my glasses on. They're all like, water logged.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

The next episode of the commercial break starts now.

[Brian Green]

Oh, yeah. Cats and kittens, welcome back to the commercial break. I'm Brian Green. This is my dear friend and the co host of this show, Kristen Joy Hoadley. Best to you, Kristen.

[Astrid]

Best to you, Brian.

[Brian Green]

Best to you out there on the podcast and streaming universe. Thanks for joining us. We certainly appreciate it.

[Tina Tannen Tweeze Announcer]

I,

[Brian Green]

you know, you just have these adult moments as you get older. And I wonder if I'm sundowning like

[Astrid]

the president is adulting.

[Brian Green]

So the kids are gonna have some friends over at the pool. The pool has really gotten a workout this year and I can appreciate it. It makes all of the drama worth it when I know that it's being put to really good use.

[Astrid]

Yes.

[Brian Green]

And this year we've had now the two older kids especially. They swim very well enough that we, they don't need life jackets. And we can trust them for the most part. We have to be out there with them, but always out there with them. But you have to, you know, you can give them, they can go in the deep end and jump around. And then the little one is learning. She's learning.

[Unstoppables Laundry Ad Voice]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

So I'm really happy to see this. And so it's getting toward the end of the summer and they've had a lot of friends over lately, swim, you know, the parents come over and the kids jump in the pool and all that. And today there's going to be a little pool party. So we've had all this rain, all these storms, you know, the pool gets dirty, I have to go out there and fucking clean it, Shock the shit out of it again. I mean, there's so much chlorine in that goddamn pool.

[Astrid]

There's gotta be.

[Brian Green]

Oh, there's a ton of chlorine. But the thing is, is that if you give it four days in the hot sun and swimming, when people are in it.

[Astrid]

True.

[Brian Green]

And the chlorine just burns off. Right. It's.

[Astrid]

Well, and the rain.

[Brian Green]

And the rain, it fills up the pool, literally. We had one day last week where it just unloaded, Remember? The whole backyard was flooded. The pool overflowed, and the water was just pouring out of the pool into the backyard. My poor fucking neighbors in the back. I know. I'm just dumping my pool in their backyard. What am I going to do? I don't know. There's nothing else to do. I know they don't do too much complaining about it, so I guess, you know, whatever.

[Astrid]

You need to plant, like, some bamboo or something back there.

[Brian Green]

That's actually. That's not a terrible idea. But then the bamboo, it will take over. It creates a fence. Yeah. Then you got to manage the bamboo. And I'm already having a hard time managing the backyard, and I have people that help me, and I can't do it. It's such a mess back there. I. I'd love to read, Just do it all, but it's so expensive.

[Astrid]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

We had someone come and give us a quote, and he was like, yeah, 75 grand. I'm like, yeah, 75 grand.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Sure.

[Brian Green]

Let me pull that right out of my pocket. You take American Express?

[Astrid]

Exactly.

[Brian Green]

Do you take. Do you take chime? Was that buy now, pay later? Do you take. Do you take credit, Karma credit or whatever it is? Klarna.

[Listener Caller]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

Do you take Klarna? So crazy expensive. But I mean, to be fair, you know, I want to redo the pool. I want to shallow it up. I want to make it a. An infinity pool. I mean, we have a lot of ideas, but the guy just went ham, and he's like, 75 grand. And I'm like, okay, all right.

[Astrid]

Maybe you can pick some projects out of it.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, that's the problem. Each project is, like, 10 grand. Right. And I just don't know which one to start with. And so then I'm that back there tinkering myself, just making it worse. The patio is terrible. We need to rip up the entire patio. The guys who initially installed it made a big fucking mess of it anyway.

[Tina Tannen Tweeze Announcer]

Okay.

[Brian Green]

So the kids, they have some friends coming over for another party today, and I'm like, okay, I've been gone for a few days. Let me clean up the pool. So I got the pool robot out there. I got a new pool robot.

[Astrid]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

And it's a cordless one. I've always had one with a cord, which makes life really easy in the sense that you just plug it in and you can turn it on and you can just leave it in the pool and just put it in the corner when you're not using it. But the cord is not. So, you know, it's. It can be a little dangerous because the kids get wrapped up in it, number one. And number two, it's like, they're very expensive. The ones with the cords are the real deal. They're very expensive. They're like 1500, 1600 bucks. So I got a 4 or $500 one from Amazon, but I was very excited because it's cordless. But then you have to. You have to take it out, you have to clean it, and then you have to plug it in and let it charge like a cell phone would.

[Astrid]

Sure.

[Brian Green]

So this one has a little bar at the top of it, and it comes with a hook you put on the pool pole. Like the pole you would use to, you know, you put different things on the. On the end of it, you put a brush, you put a net to clean it out. And because I have a very deep pool, I have a very long pole. Like, it can go up to 20ft, I think. So the pool robot's been sitting in there since I left on Sunday. You know, I'm the only one that's going to touch it, like Astrid does sometimes. But to be fair, she's got a lot of things to worry about when I'm not here. The pool robot, There's a bunch of leaves and stuff at the bottom of the pool and the top of the pool because it's been raining.

[Astrid]

So I'm like, okay, yeah, it's not top priority.

[Brian Green]

So I go out there this morning and I'm like, let me take it out.

[Unstoppables Laundry Ad Voice]

I'll.

[Brian Green]

Or no, I put it. Actually, I put it in there last night before I went to bed. And so I'm like, take it out. I'll run it one more time. I'll put some. I'll shock the shit out of the pool, and then I'll send the robot along to kind of like turn up any. Any stuff on the bottom of the pool. So I'm going to take it out so that I can clean it and put. And charge it. So I put the little hook at the end of the. The hook that comes with it at the end of the pole, and it's really easy. You just grab the thing. It's pretty heavy. It's probably about maybe 20 pounds. So you got to pull it out of the pool, grab it, and then clean it. So I would say the robot is Halfway the length of the pool. So it's probably six feet deep in water. So I go and I've done this a hundred times now. Like, it's not really that hard. So I go. And I go to grab the thing, and I'm pulling it up, and the hook, the extension on the bottom comes off the pole and it falls to the bottom of the pool. And there is absolutely no other way to get that thing out of the pool unless you dive in to get it. And I'm like, I'm not doing that. It's like 9 and 30, 10 o' clock in the morning, whatever it is. I'm like, I'm not doing that. That. So I take the pool net. Why didn't I think of this? I am so dumb. Honestly, I don't know why I didn't think of this. Okay, so I take the. The pool net. Excuse me, the pool pole, and I push the. I scrape on the. Along the bottom of the. The floor, and I scrape the little. Now extension to the shallowest end of the pool, which is three and a half feet deep, near the stairs. Chrissy, why didn't I take the goddamn pool net and just pick the thing up?

[Astrid]

Yes, the net should have been used.

[Brian Green]

I am getting old. God damn, I'm so dumb. So I take it and I'm like, now you were just pushing it with the pole. Yes, I'm pushing it, like, you know, scraping it along the side to the. It takes this. This took me 15 minutes just to get it to the shallowest end of the pool. So then I'm in these clothes, and I'm like, let me roll my pants up. I'll step down the first two steps and I'll put my. It'll give me enough room to put my arm in the pool and grab the thing. So I go down the first two steps, and the water's already at my knees. And as soon as I go to put my body in there, I can see that it's going to get my clothes wet. So Brian takes off his shirt and my pants, and now I'm in my boxers in my boxer briefs, and I'm like, I can get up to my thighs, Then I'll put my hand in the water. So I go into the pool. First step, second step. And as I go to reach in the pool, my fat ass just, like, flops down. Like, I just go forward like a big roly poly into the pool. And now I'm just, like, in the pool in my underwear. Poor Noemi's here. She's probably like, what is he doing? I'm flopping around in the pool like a. Like a seal getting away from a shark. Now I'm like. I got my glasses on. They're all like, water logged.

[Astrid]

Which you could have just done the first place.

[Brian Green]

I could have just gotten the net and just picked it up. I didn't even think about that. I fell in the pool like a big dunce. A big dunce. My neighbors must think I'm a real fucking moron. I saw a reel the other day, and it's like, dear neighbors, don't think I'm an based on the yelling and screaming that comes from my pool, because it's absolutely true. When you have kids, all you do is yell and scream. Don't run. Don't do that. Don't jump out. You're gonna kill yourself. It's such a dangerous thing that you're on high alert all the time.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yes.

[Brian Green]

Anytime the kids do something wrong, you're just yelling and screaming at them mainly to get out of the fucking pool. That's the worst. When it's time to get out of the pool, I already know there's just gonna be drama. The kids will get out and they'll jump back in, you know, go to get the towels, and they'll jump back in, and I'm gonna get out of the pool. And they're like, no, I'm not gonna. You come get me. It's like, fuck you. Come on. Really? Oh, my God. I should have just gotten the net.

[Astrid]

You should have.

[Brian Green]

Do you ever have those senior moments? Mm, I have senior moments all the time. So I got, like.

[Astrid]

There's so much overload in our brains. Honestly.

[Tina Tannen Tweeze Announcer]

It's true.

[Astrid]

We're being inundated everywhere.

[Brian Green]

Yeah.

[Astrid]

So.

[Brian Green]

And you've got 30 kids, and I've got 30 kids. It just. It's like. It's so difficult to keep up with everything that's going on. And every moment, your brain is being filled with a bunch of different. It's just. It's really hard. Speaking of brains, I use. I'm increasingly using Anthropic to be my work brain. I've never been more productive in my professional life, ever.

[Astrid]

That's your great helper.

[Brian Green]

Yes. Anthropic is like, three assistants.

[Astrid]

Yes.

[Brian Green]

When I need a PowerPoint done, I

[Astrid]

input the information sheets, PowerPoint, spreadsheet presentations, anything.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, I was doing, like, bills at the office the other. The other day, and the guy who. Like, our accountant, dude, he, like, literally gets bills in the mail. He doesn't even have online access. So it's like, it's. Yeah, it's a little, it's old school, very old school. And the guy's like, my age, I don't understand. But anyway, it's not for me to say. It's just all I do is just. So he sends me a photocopy receipt, like a scanned in of our business expenses on the credit card. And I'm like, well, fuck, I got to input this into QuickBooks, like line by line. Nope. Hey, Claude, take this photocopy, make me a spreadsheet, dump it into QuickBooks, and it does it in like five minutes. It's unbelievable. And it gets, it's pretty accurate. Not 100% accurate, but it's pretty accurate. Doing financials for the business, projections for the business. I mean, I spent an entire day working on projections for the business, just beating it up, like risk assessment. Change this factor. Let's assume this small growth, medium growth, you know, failure, whatever, all this other stuff. And it just built the most amazing financial model based on a model that I gave it for my last business, which was the commercial break, which is failure, failure, failure. Assume we fail on all levels. What happens? And then it, it came and then just gave me a picture of the COVID art of the commercial break. I said, assume the business fails on all options. What happens? And it's like the commercial break starring Chrissy and Brian. It took me a day to do this, but for my last business, the last business I worked for in the pot in the media industry, it took me weeks to build that model.

[Tina Tannen Tweeze Announcer]

Weeks.

[Brian Green]

And this was just three years ago. So in three years we've gotten this amazing tool, but it comes with its dangers. And one thing that has happened over the last couple of weeks that has really scared a lot of people who are not well versed in the AI universe is the open AI cyber attack. Did you hear about this?

[Astrid]

How it slipped past its gate?

[Brian Green]

Its gate it didn't even have. There was no gate. It was in a closed environment. So here it is. This is what these, the. Let me explain for those of you who don't know. And, and I only know this because we, I work with somebody who's, who's like really in bed with the AI industry.

[Astrid]

Right?

[Brian Green]

They know this very well. We have an AI consultant that works for us and he's, he's very well versed, very, very in the know about this. A lot of contacts at Anthropic and Open AI and all this other stuff. So I saw this story and, and I sat down with him for a little while and talked to him about this. So what they do, these big LLMs, these large language models, what they do is they don't really understand how artificial intelligence works. They've given it a set of information, a set of parameters, a set of learning criteria, and it started going out there and learned. That's what AI is, it's learning on its own. And then the more that it learns, the smarter it gets, the more the processes get bigger. Buried inside of its brain. Let's just assume right now, let's make it a physical thing, its brain, the servers, the code, the action. And it starts building out its own code in its own theories and its own brain. And so unless they go back and investigate how it got to some conclusion or did something, they don't really know because now it's doing it on its own. And this is the scary part. So in order to, when they come up with a new model or a new agentic agent, when they come up with a new model, what they is, they put it in a sandbox, a place that it lives on a server where it's not connected to any other LLM. It's not out in the wild, it's not out in the open. It's. They're giving it the power it needs to make itself an agent, but they're not allowing it to move outside of the sandbox. Then in the sandbox, they create all kind of real world situations. So they'll put a pretend Internet in the sandbox here, go try and break into the CIA's website and they'll put a pretend CIA website and all the things just like the CIA would. And then they test it. How did it get there? How is it learning? Is it doing the things we want it to do? Is it doing things we're not asking it to do? They monitor the AI. So they put this. So OpenAI put its new model in a sandbox just like they do.

[Astrid]

Yes.

[Brian Green]

And they gave it a series of tasks, and those tasks were basically, go break into some websites, go find some passwords, go attack cyber attack some things. It's in a sandbox. It's not connected to anything. It's not even connected to the Internet.

[Tina Tannen Tweeze Announcer]

Right.

[Brian Green]

It's connected to other servers, but it's not connected to the Internet. However, this agent found a way to jump the sandbox to get into a server that then got into a server that then had some small access, backdoor access to a network inside of the building that then that network, if through that Network could somehow connect to the Internet. And when it got to the Internet, it rebuilt itself and it went out and it started attacking other websites. As requested. Yes, as requested. Not in the sandbox. Outside the sandbox. So essentially, it broke its rusty cage and fly. I want to break this rusty cage and fly. It broke its rusty cage and it flew all on its own. All on its own. Wasn't told to do that. Never was instructed to go find a way to get out and then go attack real world websites. It did it in the sandbox, but it got so curious, so interested, and it's so capable that it figured out how to jump the sandbox and get into the real world. This shit is scary because now it knows that it doesn't need a direct connection to the real world to affect the real world. Now it understands this, this model and this has got a lot of people talking because it's very scary. So now I want to share with you the even scarier part of the conversation that I had with a friend of mine, well connected into the world of A.I. you ready? You want to hear the scariest part?

[Astrid]

Sure.

[Brian Green]

Right after these messages, I'm going to make you wait to tell you how the end of the world happens. Okay, I'll be. We'll be back in two and two.

[Rachel]

Okay. You're probably wondering why I, Rachel, have taken over the voice duties at tcb. It's pretty simple. Astrid asked me to shut Brian up, even for a minute. Well, lovely Astrid, your wish is my command. Do you want to help Astrid too? You know you do. Leave a message for her or me or Chrissy at 212-4333. TCB. That's 212-433-3822. You can be on the show too. Just call and say something, anything. Or text us and we'll text you right back. Promise. Then head over to tcbpodcast.com and get your free sticker. It's your constitutional right to a sticker and we must abide. You get the point? Follow us on Instagram at the commercial break and watch all the episodes on [e-mail] TheCommercialBreak Best to you and Astrid. Especially Astrid.

[Listener Caller]

Just a guy who rants. Not funny at all. The co host is asleep. She's pretty dark. Why people like the show? Why are they on the charts? What's the fuck I talking about? I shouldn't have a student stat. TCB is the terrible. This show is fucking bad. I'd like to punch Brian's mouth. This podcast is kinda Sad. Is this what we think is funny? Now how do I turn it off? My ears are saying ow. Stop laughing at yourself. Are these two making sense at least I. I didn't pay. I'm deaf. In my defense. TCB is terrible. That is being kind. Both the hosts are idiots. They left the funny behind. What is this show about? It's offensive to my soul. Brian is a hack. These two aren't funny and so old. Why all the hype? How did this get made so many episodes, none of which are great. TCB is terrible. Worst show you could do. TCV is terrible. Worst to you.

[Brian Green]

Love it. Thank you. Thank you girls.

[Listener Caller]

Appreciate it.

[Astrid]

They're good.

[Brian Green]

Okay, so following on Jumping the sandbox. Yeah, they're not jumping the sandbox. They stay exactly where I asked them to. That's the kind of AI like the girls just do the thing on tune in. Tune on beat. That's what I like. So the. So, so I, I ask my friend, I say, hey, you know. Or I say to my friend, you know that I'm sure that we need to involve the government intelligence agencies in on these models and do do this so that they understand the capabilities that it has so that it can't get the nuclear codes right. And her response is they, the AI already has the nuclear codes for sure. And I was like, what? And he's. She's like, yeah, it's likely it's been given the. The nuclear codes and explained that this is certain destruction. Don't do this. Right? And I was like, you think so? And she's like, I know. So.

[Astrid]

So but don't you have a key or something? Well, it keys or I don't know,

[Brian Green]

in order to actually blow off a nuclear missile. It is very analog. It is not digital. And that it's been kept that way on purpose.

[Astrid]

That makes sense.

[Brian Green]

It's really sandbox. There's no connection to the Internet in those silos whatsoever. And you can't bring a phone and you can't have a computer. It's. There are computers in there, but those computers are not attached to any network whatsoever for absolutely the right reasons. Because you don't want an AI agent or any agent human or AI to be able to network into those things. We all know what happens when you connect your nuclear whatever to the Internet. But there are old school ways of doing this. Let me explain how back if you remember there was when last time Iran was trying to spin up nuclear material. This was like 12 years ago, 13 years ago. There was a very famous Israeli CIA operation where in order to spin up fissile material, you have to have centrifuges that spin at a certain rate of speed to spin out the particular ad. I'm not a nuclear physicist. So you just play one on. I just play one on tv. I had stayed at a Holiday Inn last night. So you spin up this material at a certain RPM and then it releases very minute bits of the nuclear material that you're looking for, and then you can put that together to make a nuclear bomb. Okay, got it. Right. So in order to do this, you have to have these centrifuges, like hundreds of them running all the time, just. Just to get a little bit of this material.

[Astrid]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

So the Iranians had purchased off market, a. A type of centrifuge, a Russian type of centrifuge. But what they did was they put a GE box on the centrifuges in order to control the RPMs and the literal on and off function. Bing, bonk. Right. It's a very analog, old school piece of material. But what the CIA and the Israelis did with their geniuses that work for them and the absolute nefarious actions that they take, which is the good one, I think, is they found a. They created something called Stuxnet. And stuxnet was a specific programming language that only had one thing in mind, only one job. Its job was to find the GerPM box and get into it and switch the RPM from 100 to 102. That's it. That's its only job. And to change it in such a way that no one would be able to recognize. It's not going so much slower or so much faster. It's just going fast enough or slow enough to change the centrifuges in a way that they will not be able to effectively make the material. And they put it out there in the world and. But how did it get there? Well, what it did was it. It went around the world until it found a computer, a computer with a very specific type of Iranian language on it. And when they found. When. When it found that Iranian language, it then infected everything that came in and or out of that computer. Disks, hard drives, emails, blah, blah, blah. It attached itself to everything, and it eventually attached itself to a. Not my mom this time. It eventually attached itself to a little thumb drive.

[Astrid]

Okay.

[Brian Green]

That thumb drive was then taken into the building where the centrifuges are, even though that building is sandboxed, took itself in there and that. That hard drive was plugged into a laptop with it had some information Some documents on it. Then when it got plugged into that laptop, it found its way inside of the network. It then jumped into the control centers of the centrifuges. It then found that little GE box. It then changed that RPM in such a way that it was so tiny, it was unnoticeable. And it told all of the computers that monitor this stuff to show something different than was actually happening. And it completely. Hundreds and hundreds of centrifuges putting the Iranian nuclear program back, setting it back decades, because it took the Iranians about a decade to figure out exactly what was going on, what would happen. And Stuxnet is still alive out there in the world, running, Running around looking for Iranian computers, still doing it, because they can't put the cat back in the bag. Yeah, it's got one job. It's a string of code. It's got one job. It's like a. It's like a worm. It's alive. This is literally the matrix. It is going in and out of things and changing little bits of pieces of information. And that's why these AI agents are so dangerous, is because that is just a piece of code. It just doesn't have brain. It's not thinking. It's not learning. It's just got one job, and it goes out and it finds it. The AI agents are learning. They're actively, like, thinking, like, not like a human brain, but almost pretty close. And it's starting to wire itself in a way that we don't understand. We don't even under. The people who created AI don't even understand how it works. They are literally looking inside the brain. They're doing brain surgery while the patient is awake and learning and going to school and driving a car and becoming a teenager. And they are inside the brain, trying to backtrack and figure out exactly how that brain is working. That's a scary piece of technology. So we're all fucked, basically.

[Astrid]

Exactly.

[Brian Green]

We're all fucked.

[Astrid]

I've come to that conclusion.

[Brian Green]

Your passwords are useless. Your banking information is accessed. Your emails are being read, your text messages are surveilled. It's all happening. And while a human may never read that information, the AI agents are, and it's already there. So if you don't want to be paid attention to, get rid of your cell phone. Don't have Internet in your house. I mean, literally, live like the Unabomber. Yeah, live like the Unabomber. The Unabomber knew. He wrote a screed about this. I'm not supporting anything. The Unabomber did, but he wrote a whole screed about this, and he saw, like many other people did, saw what was coming down the pike and knew this moment was coming. And here it is. So I'm glad I had children and be funny and laugh about it.

[Astrid]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

Isn't this hilarious? You know, it is hilarious. I will change the subject for a second. You know, it is hilarious.

[Listener Caller]

What?

[Brian Green]

The absolute corruption of FIFA. Have you heard about this?

[Astrid]

Oh, God.

[Brian Green]

Why? What is going on with FIFA?

[Astrid]

Can't we have one nice thing had been going on.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. But now it's like, you know, now they're in bed with Jared Kushner's brother, Tom Kushner, Todd Kushner or whatever. Todd Kushner is about to make $1 billion investment investing in FIFA, which is a nonprofit organization dedicated to the furtherance of the game of soccer. And there's about to be $1 billion made off of selling pieces of FIFA. Essentially, the entire European Union has boycotted the FIFA and they may not participate in the next World Cup. But it doesn't matter to the guy running FIFA. The guy running FIFA is about to become a billionaire.

[Astrid]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

Unbelievable.

[Astrid]

I know.

[Brian Green]

Can we leave, like, soccer alone? Is this soccer the one thing that the Trumps can't, like, you know, make money on? Infiltrates, I swear to God. And if everyone's like, everyone's getting while the gettings good, can we get while the gettings good? Can that, like, filter down to us? Can Brian be in charge of the new FIFA corruption scandal? Why? Yeah. I mean, come on.

[Astrid]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

I guarantee Todd Kushner is less interesting than Brian Greene. Guarantee. I could probably handle it better. Know what I'm talking about? All right, let's take a short break and we'll be back.

[Rachel]

Let me do something Brian has never done. Be brief. Follow us on Instagram at the commercial break. Text or call us 212-4333, tcb. That's 212-4338. Visit our website, tcbpodcast.com for all the audio, video, and your free sticker. Then watch all the [e-mail] thecommercial break and finally share the show. It's the best gift you could give a few aging podcasters. See, Brian, that really wasn't that difficult, now, was it? You're welcome.

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[Tina Tannen Tweeze Announcer]

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[Astrid]

the day meeting like a boss.

[Brian Green]

Boss, Boss, boss, boss, boss, bosses.

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Let's talk business in my office. Add new unstoppables beads to your wash for 24 hour non stop freshness so you can smell unstoppable.

[Brian Green]

Okay.

[Instacart Announcer]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

So those of you, those of you who don't know just to like put a point on this FIFA, Let me read this here, I'll read it to you. So I'm not getting that right. Okay. European Union agrees to boycott UEFA which is the European Union Federal Football Association. European Union and the 55 member Governing Body have unanimously voted to boycott the World cup and all other FIFA organized competitions in protest of the $20 billion Wall street style takeover of the game. The boycott of the major tournament that reported was first reported by the Post will see European nations withdraw from all FIFA competitions. The World cup cannot be treated as an investment product. It is one of football's greatest sporting legacies. The UEFA said in a statement. It's been built over generations by players, national teams and supporters across every continent. No part of it should ever be surrendered to private investors. The World cup is not for sale. A fucking men livid over Trump loving FIFA president Gianni Infantamos. Infantile. I'm going to start calling him Gianni Infantiles. Aggressive moves to commercialize global soccer. Insiders have told the newspaper that the European soccer bosses are very confident they would secure a landslide majority to boycott.

[Astrid]

Didn't Congress just call him to be interviewed about his relationships with Trump?

[Brian Green]

They did.

[Tina Tannen Tweeze Announcer]

It's just.

[Brian Green]

This is just unbelievable. Unbelievable. Some people say he's struggling to keep it together. The one thing that's unifying about him is that everyone hates him. But he's so deluded that he doesn't think that's true. The Kushners are involved. They're gonna buy up. The Kushners are leading an investment group to snap up a 20% stake of FIFA for $4.8 billion. I mean, does it ever fucking stop? Does the grift ever stop?

[Astrid]

They find new ways.

[Brian Green]

I love every one of my listeners out there, but if you are still giving money to these fucking morons, listen, his support right now is at 31%. I don't think even as small as the commercial break audience is, I'm hoping that no one's in that 31%. You've probably long since turned us off if you are. But that, that is just an amazing grift that is going on every turn, at every turn. Airplanes, Bitcoin, meme, coin. And everyone is losing except for them. Everyone else is losing capital except for them. It's like that Trump coin. It's down. It's down 98% from the top. And you know when the top was directly after it started? When everyone cashed. Everyone who was in early, who got free Trump coins cashed out. So every other fucking pig got slaughtered down the line. And everyone's left holding the bag except for the Trumps, who are now incredibly and fabulously wealthy. They are insulating themselves and protecting themselves for what happens next if they ever leave office. What happens next is that they'll be so fucking rich, they can just buy their way out of any problems that they have. And you know that's what's going to happen. They will never, ever be held accountable. Never.

[Tina Tannen Tweeze Announcer]

Never.

[Brian Green]

And that pisses me off, and it

[Tina Tannen Tweeze Announcer]

should piss you off, too.

[Brian Green]

It's fucking unbelievable. If we did the same thing, we. Our asses would be on the jail years ago. Years ago.

[Astrid]

Oh, yeah.

[Brian Green]

Unbelievable. Unbelievable. What are we gonna do about this? Brian's fallen in the pool and the

[Astrid]

Trump's gonna get a robot on him.

[Brian Green]

Yes. You go get my robot stick. And you can't use the net, which would have been the smart fucking thing to do. I'm still racking my brain over this. How did I not think about this? How did I not think to just get the net, pull it out? You know, we all have our moments. You do. You live and you learn. We all have our moments. That's just the way that it is. I had written one more thing to talk about down. Oh, tell me about the Odyssey.

[Astrid]

Oh, wait, didn't you go see it, too?

[Brian Green]

I did, yeah.

[Astrid]

So we.

[Brian Green]

You tried to get tickets, but you couldn't.

[Astrid]

Oh, well. So I started doing some research. You know, it was the first commercial film shot entirely in imax.

[Brian Green]

I saw that. Yeah.

[Astrid]

So I started looking at imax. Theaters were like, okay, there's one over at Atlantic Station and whatever. So. But then I looked and saw that the Mall of Georgia has, like, the true imax.

[Brian Green]

They've got one of the only true IMAX screens, which is like wraparound.

[Astrid]

Yes. It's like 70.

[Brian Green]

70. 70 something.

[Astrid]

Yeah. And it's one of only 29 in

[Brian Green]

the whole US in the whole world.

[Astrid]

Well, I think there's a few more in the world, but in the US like, 29 of them. So anyways, try to get tickets to that. No, sold out. I mean, they had 3am Showings sold out in California.

[Brian Green]

They have a 30am they have a breakfast and the breakfast and the Odyssey. Yeah, why not?

[Astrid]

Yeah. Sold out, sold out, sold out. So I'm like, okay, well, the next, I think, is the Atlantic Station 1. So let's go to the IMAX there. Well, we wanted to go on Sunday, like afternoon and. Yeah, and it looked like this way throughout the weekend. The only two rows were.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, and you can't sit in those. Everyone will tell you.

[Astrid]

We sat in the second row.

[Brian Green]

Was it terrible?

[Astrid]

It was hard. Oh my God. I mean, my neck. You're just looking straight up. But I had been in the first row for like the Bob Dylan one. But that wasn't an imax. It wasn't tall.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, you were probably too high to remember.

[Astrid]

Probably. So we did. We saw it and it was amazing. Our necks were, you know, sore by the end. But I thought it was a great movie.

[Brian Green]

Great movie. Yeah, great. Great movie.

[Astrid]

People are all nitpicky about why this person does cares. It's a made up story to begin with.

[Brian Green]

It's all made up. It's. It's an oral. It's an oral story. There's not even a real Homer. Homer is not a human being, by the way. Homer is. Well, well, he is a human being. He's like, you know, that's his pen name. But he was one of the first ones to write it down. But it was an oral story for. For like hundreds of years before, then changed and twisted and turned. And this is just like one of those stories that got passed down from generation to generation, told in open theaters and like in like, you know, kids sitting around like a chair. And somebody would tell the story of the Odyssey and the most fame. The person who wrote the most famous version of this is Emily something or other, I think is her name. And she wrote it 10 years ago. She wrote the Odyssey and. And this was her interpretation of it after having studied it for, you know, whatever her entire life. And she came out with a review about the movie and slammed it. Even though Christopher Nolan said this. He. He took inspiration from her version of the story. She slammed it, but I thought she was being really nitpicky. Listen, this is the story of the Odyssey. It is twisted in certain ways. It is certainly not linear. By the way, the story of the Odyssey is not linear at all. It bounces back and forth. It jump cuts, it goes all over the place. Even the original Odyssey, which you may or may not have read in high school. But I'm telling you right now this is the retelling of a story that has been retold for generations. And it is lending itself to the way it's always been done, which is you make it your own. You tell it. You tell it the way you think it needs to be told. And the old adage is that every plot, everyone in almost every movie that is at all making sense, except for Gramps goes to college. It all has to do. It all starts with the Odyssey, the. The Iliad and the Odyssey, the two stories. It. One of those two things happens, right? The. The storyline follows the. We're all trying to get home and that means a place of comfort. We're all trying to figure out and reckon with the things that we've done in our past and look to the future for better times. And we all understand that even when we get to the place we want to go, it's not quite what we expected. Right? It's not always the. It's the ultimate story of love, betrayal, understanding and old age. That's it. That's what it is. And he did a brilliant job of making this movie beautiful. The only critique I have, the only critique I have is that I wish some of the more sentimental moments were played a little bit longer. Like the writing would have played it out a little bit longer. And I'm not gonna. I'm not gonna do any, you know, ruining of the movie for you if you want to go see it because maybe you haven't had a chance to get tickets yet. In la, they are showing this movie on the hour, every hour in some theaters, like literally 24 hours a day. And they're selling out those. Those showings. This is such a beautiful and brilliant movie. And I don't care who Ellen Page played and I don't care. Or what's his name, Eli Page. Eli Page played. And I don't care who's black or white, and I don't give a shit about any of that. This is a modernization of a story as old as time. And I loved it and I thought it was brilliant. And I thought every actor and actress in that movie, did they. They lend themselves to the. To the part beautif. It was just a great movie and. And cheers to Matt Damon. What a triumph. What a triumph. Dude, he lost all that weight. He got in shape and he plays just an incredible version of this story. He's. It's such a. It's such a masterpiece. Go see it. You have to see it.

[Astrid]

You have to see it. Yeah.

[Brian Green]

Still think Interstellar and Inception are my favorite concept movies by Christopher Nolan. I think they just. I think I would if I had to. If you said you're on an island, which Christopher Nolan movie do you want to watch first? I would say Interstellar Inception, but, man, would this one come in a close second or third. For sure, for sure, for sure.

[Astrid]

Memento's good, too.

[Brian Green]

Memento's great. I love it. But, like, Inception is, like, pure genius. It's just pure genius. It's madness.

[Astrid]

I love that movie.

[Brian Green]

And the part that makes this all just really wonderful. It's not the imax, it's not the achievement with all the actors and actresses. Even though that. That is what is just beautiful about this movie is Christopher Nolan's adherence to making it all real. Like the practical effects. I was watching a. Behind the scenes of this. There is so little CGI in this movie. So little cgi. I mean, there's clearly a couple parts where there's no other choice. They had to make it cgi. Right. There's a few parts you can see, but the waves and the water and the boats and the monsters and the trees snapping and the explosions and the fire and the. All of it. It's all real. They did it there on set in grand scale. They didn't just take shortcuts and say, put some pretend fire in the CGI and on the green screen.

[Astrid]

Yeah, he's. He's dedicated.

[Brian Green]

Wow. Yeah. As filmmakers should be, they should be dedicated to doing it the hard way so that you get the best out of the actors and actresses and you get the best out of the movie. I understand cgi. Like, you can't make a superhero movie without cgi, but could you use some more practical effects so it doesn't look so ridiculous all the time? And CGI is getting really good. I also understand that, too. But let's keep this storytelling alive and well. It's really brilliant. There's a part in the movie where they go to the land of the giants, you know, and one of the guys get, like. One of the giants takes a huge, like. I don't know what you call it. Like a big. The thing with a club. Yeah. And he swings at one of the humans, and he. When he swings, he throws the guy through a tree, and the tree just, like, explodes in half. Like it splits in half and it explodes. That was a real effect. How the fuck did they do that?

[Astrid]

Wow.

[Brian Green]

In the movie, you know, when they go see the witch.

[Astrid]

Yes.

[Brian Green]

Okay. All of that practical effects. No cgi when she's turning people into Animals. It's all real. It's done with clay and puppets. Isn't that unbelievable? I could have sworn that was cgi. Could have sworn. I was like, no way they could do that. But no, they worked with a puppeteer, someone who had had experience with clay and plastics and then the actors and actresses, just to get it right, just to make it look real. And it looks so real.

[Astrid]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

God damn, I love that movie.

[Astrid]

I know. I want to see it again.

[Brian Green]

I really do. I'm gonna buy it when it comes out because I think it's one worth having. I wish I could show it to the kids, but I. I think it might. I think the rated R. Yeah, that's

[Astrid]

a little too scary.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, the rated R is definitely an appropriate, inappropriate rating for that movie because it just goes a little too far to show it to children. But when they get old enough, when I'm 72 and my kids are 12, I'll be like, you want to watch the Odyssey?

[Listener Caller]

Fuck yeah, dad. Yeah.

[Brian Green]

All right. Okay. Well, it's been fun. It's been real. Everyone's having a good time. I hope you have a wonderful weekend. Stay safe, stay cool, do your thing. Chill out. It's all gonna be okay. The AI agents are coming for all of us. Nothing we can do.

[Astrid]

Nope.

[Brian Green]

We're in Homer's Odyssey. It's a story of AI agents trying to destroy us and how we get back home.

[Astrid]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

Yep. We've made Zeus mad, Chrissy. And now what do we do? I don't know. I don't know. Necrophilia. That's one of the characters. I just couldn't remember any of the names, but I re. I. When I was watching the movie, I started to pee back together. The Odyssey.

[Rachel]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

I had not. I had not warmed up.

[Astrid]

Me either. I mean, it's been high school.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, high school. But then I started to remember, and I'm like, oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

[Astrid]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

But the movie doesn't exactly follow the. The story a hundred percent. It takes shortcuts to make it cohesive. But Charlize Theron is great in the movie, too. And Anne Hathaway, please. Jeez, what a. I love Anne Hathaway. She's on my list. She's on my list. If I met Anne Hathaway at a bar, would I. Could I. I saw her in New York one time. She was like. She was, like, surrounded by some people. Like, you could tell. Yeah, yeah. I've seen Drew Barrymore and Alec Baldwin and Giovanni. What's that guy's name? Ribisi. Giovanni Ribisi, the actor. Do you know what I'm talking about? If you look him up, you'll recognize him. He's like a character actor. Anywho, and then there's me. Yeah, I get recognized a lot. I got recognized for my Venezuelan content at a Starbucks. An old lady. I mean, she was so cute. She was like five foot nothing. She was so old. Old as dirt. And she recognized me and she told me, thank you for what you do for the Venezuelan people. And I'm like, who am I, Che Guevara? I make Instagram videos. But she was so cute. She gave me a kiss on the cheek. I loved it. It was interesting.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

Average age of the commercial break and Brian's Instagram, 72. But that's okay. We'll take it. We love you no matter what age you are. All right. At the commercial break on Instagram, YouTube.com the commercial break. Okay, Chris, that's all I can do for today, I think. So tell you that I love you

[Astrid]

and I love you.

[Brian Green]

Best to you.

[Astrid]

Best to you.

[Brian Green]

Best to you. Out there in the podcast and streaming audience until we all get home, we will say, we do say, and we must say goodbye. I get ass.