A Fight For Resources!

Summary

The Commercial Break — "A Fight For Resources!" Summary

Podcast: The Commercial Break
Hosts: Bryan Green & Krissy Hoadley
Episode Title: A Fight For Resources!
Release Date: July 4, 2025

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Overview

In this episode, Bryan and Krissy return from vacation and dive deep into the internet phenomenon "Paulie Couch Cushions," a self-styled dating coach with a flair for wild advice, questionable logic, and magnetic chaos. The hosts dissect several of Paulie’s viral videos in real time, providing live commentary, relentless mockery, and their signature irreverent banter. Throughout, they reflect on internet “alpha” personalities, gender dynamics, resource-sharing in relationships, and the sheer random entertainment value of the online world’s weirdest corners.

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Main Topics & Key Discussion Points

1. Local Satire & Mock News Opener

• Satirical WSHIT News segment pokes fun at local happenings, introducing "Judas Snickelburg" as head of the Central Crabapple Intelligence Agency.
• Introduces the episode’s tone of absurdity and improv (00:00–02:00).

2. TCB Hosts’ Run-In with a Difficult Celebrity Guest

• Bryan and Krissy discuss a recent interview with a "very famous celebrity guest" that went sour due to the guest’s notorious ego and bad attitude.
  • "He was a complete waste of time. He was an asshole to two people he didn't meet." (Bryan, 04:10)
• Decision to not air the footage, reflecting on host instincts about "toxic energy" in the studio (03:25–04:37).

3. Paulie Couch Cushions: Internet Sensation

• Interest in Paulie sparked by listener demand and the hosts’ own fascination with his over-the-top masculinity and bizarre “couch wisdom.”
  • "Paulie Couch Cushions, who we just introduced two weeks ago, has taken the commercial break world by storm." (Bryan, 07:09)
• Paulie’s rapid-fire, testosterone-fueled style and questionable framing of relationships and masculinity are deconstructed with loving ridicule.

4. Dissecting Paulie’s Logic and Advice: Key Moments & Quotes

A. Dating Priorities and Resource Sharing (11:34–17:07)

• Paulie interviews “Cotton Candy” about what attracts her to men:
  • Looks, self-care, finances, and “having a plan.”
  • Paulie: "How much money do you think I'm making you?" (16:24)
  • “Cotton Candy” guesses $150 million from YouTube; the hosts erupt in disbelief.
• Krissy and Bryan note the juxtaposition of Paulie’s advice ("be successful") and the reality of his mom’s basement setup.

B. The Law of Reciprocation and Resources (30:45–34:14; 35:59–39:00)

• Paulie invents “the law of reciprocation”:
  • "The law of reciprocation states when something is done for you the opposite, the person should want to do it back." (Paulie, 33:39)
• Emphasizes women sharing money/resources as proof of love, using clunky analogies and gender assumptions.
• "Just because a girl has a vagina, it has a slit in between her legs. Why does the law of reciprocation go out the window?” (Paulie, 34:14, cringeworthy)
• Bryan and Krissy lampoon his logic, inventing mock “Einstein’s fifth law of reciprocation” and noting his word salads.

C. Paulie’s Red Flags: Control, Masculinity, and “Simp” Avoidance (46:03–54:50)

• "How to get a girlfriend in 2025 without being a simp":
  • Confidence, fitness, finances, making women “qualify” themselves.
  • Heavy focus on being “unkillable.”
• "If you're not getting more unkillable, then you're just killable." (Paulie, 55:58)
• Critiqued as manipulative “game playing” rather than advice for healthy relationships.
  • Bryan: "These are games. He's playing games with women. Are those the kind of people you want to be in long term relationships with? No, of course not." (55:02)

5. Hosts’ Commentary, Running Gags, and Self-Deprecation

• Repeated jokes about the absurdity of internet “dating gurus,” and Paulie’s tagline-worthy mantras:
  • "Whack it, stack it, let's go together, let's grow together."
• Playful jabs at Paulie’s energy, inconsistent logic, and gold-chain basement aesthetic:
  • "He needs a couch cushion so he can take a little nappy.” (Bryan, 15:39)
• Ongoing disbelief at Paulie’s audience size (a “phenomenon” at 1,000 subscribers), suggesting irony in social media fame (07:29–07:48).
• Bryan and Krissy’s friendship shines in their riffing, with references to “Frankie B.” and the tradition of finding new “internet weirdos” to feature.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

(With timestamps and speaker attribution)

• On the failed celebrity interview:
  • "He lived up to it. Every inch of it. He was a complete waste of time." (Bryan Green, 04:10)
• On Paulie’s “resource” philosophy:
  • "If A girl does not buy you things or offer. By the third date she does not like you." (Paulie, 30:27)
  • "Just because a girl has a vagina, it has a slit in between her legs..." (Paulie, 34:14 — hosts recoil in horror)
  • "A woman's most scarce resource is her money, as she's biologically inclined to try to save for her future children..." (Paulie, 36:18)
• Absurd advice gems:
  • "If you're not getting more unkillable, then you're just killable." (Paulie, 55:58)
  • "Who gets a job at a job?" (Paulie, 47:21 — Bryan, awestruck: “Never heard a better sentence in my life!”)
  • "I pay for at least 7% of everything that we do at a Chili’s..." (Bryan, mocking, 35:04)
  • “Girls love that when you tell them what to wear to the gym for our first date. Meet me at the gym." (Bryan, 52:14)
• Hosts lose the plot:
  • "My brain's gonna explode." (Bryan, 39:56)
  • "I feel dizzy." (Krissy, 44:19)
  • "That was a lot. I feel like I have to decompress." (Bryan, 57:58)
• Paulie’s accidental wisdom:
  • "You do be happy with yourself before you can lend that happiness to someone else…"(Bryan, agreeing, 53:46)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

| Time | Segment | |-------------|---------------------------------------------------------------------| | 00:00–02:00 | Satirical WSHIT News intro | | 03:25–04:37 | Story about problematic celebrity guest | | 07:09–09:44 | Rise of Paulie Couch Cushions on TCB | | 11:34–17:07 | Paulie & “Cotton Candy”: Looks, body, finances, the $150M guess | | 30:45–34:14 | Law of reciprocation and gender roles | | 36:18–39:00 | Women’s “scarce resources” and resource-sharing rant | | 46:03–47:35 | How to get a girlfriend “without simping” | | 55:58 | Becoming “unkillable” in relationships | | 57:58–59:07 | Hosts’ debrief: need to decompress after “the Paulie trilogy” |

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Takeaways & Final Thoughts

• Irreverent Fun: The episode radiates Bryan and Krissy’s off-the-cuff humor and relentless teasing of internet self-help “alphas.”
• Paulie Couch Cushions as Internet Micro-Celebrity: The segment lampoons Paulie’s incoherent, toxic, yet captivating persona—with equal parts horror, amusement, and genuine perplexity.
• The Real Lesson: Healthy relationships aren’t built on games or “resource-testing” but mutual respect, actual growth, and perhaps a willingness to laugh at the spectacle of online advice.
• Hosts’ Invite: Bryan and Krissy embrace the chaos, promising listeners more web oddities for comic dissection.
  • "He might be a lug nut, but he's our lug nut now. Welcome to The Commercial Break family, Paulie Couch Cushions." (Bryan, 58:16)

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Episode Vibe

Delightfully unstructured, packed with running jokes (“windling away,” “whack it, stack it”), chaotic commentary, and an open invitation to listeners: Laugh along as the modern internet invents ever-stranger ways to (mis)understand love, money, and each other.

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For instant ridiculousness:

• Listen to the Paulie Couch Cushion breakdowns (11:34–17:07; 30:45–39:00; 46:03–54:50).
• Best for fans of cringe humor, anti-pickup-artist memes, and podcasts that value chemistry over polish.

Transcript

[Brian Green]

Foreign. Welcome back to WSHIT News. WSHIT fair and almost balanced. In local crabapple news, the newly appointed head of the ccia, the Central Crabapple Intelligence Agency, Judas Snickelburg, gave a press conference to local residents and broadcasters to explain why she was qualified to run the ccia. Many residents questioned whether she should be running the intelligence agency, given that her most recent occupation was as the house mother of the kitty cat Petting Club on Central Avenue. Let's take a listen to a little bit of what Director Snickelberg had to say this afternoon.

[Chris Hoadley]

Some idiot, probably a normal person that just is dumber than a box of rocks, okay. Asks me about videotaping life with my mental disorders. I have PTSD and anxiety, both of which I got because the Department of Defense kidnapped children of mine that I donated to science. Yeah, the very first ever science donation got crotched by an air woman that was mine. And then the weirdos ran off with my kids. While I've been published in nudie magazines and things like that, so I don't want people, the good people, hearing exactly what I think about people like that every day to bring down the morale of our nation. I am not trying to have people just straight up going after these people. If you know, you know.

[Brian Green]

While this reporter is no stranger to the kitty cat club, I would have to see the nude photographs in question to determine the veracity of her claims. Those pictures can be sent directly to this reporter through his Slack channel. We'll be back after this commercial break. On this episode of the commercial break.

[Paulie Couch Cushions]

And I'm gonna tell you about what this is on the phone right now. Some just went down. You can never ask about what it is later, but make it two times her weekly paycheck. So she makes a thousand a week. Make it 2000.

[Brian Green]

What? What do you make something up? I can't tell you what it is. I'll tell you about it later. But I need $2,000. Wow. I wish I could pull that trick with some of my friends. I can about this again, but I need $250,000.

[Chris Hoadley]

I'll tell you later.

[Brian Green]

Yes, I'm just. It's a test to see if you'll share your resources. The next episode of the commercial break starts now. 2:30 in the morning. Oh, yeah. Cats and kittens, welcome back to the commercial break. I'm Brian Green. This is my dear friend and the co host of this show, Chris and Joy Hoadley. Best to you, Chris. Best to you, Brian. Best to you out there in the podcast universe. How the hell are you? Thanks for joining us. I think we made absolutely the right.

[Chris Hoadley]

Decision with the guy.

[Brian Green]

With this guy. Yeah, yeah.

[Chris Hoadley]

Oh, yeah.

[Brian Green]

Half contact. Full contact. Full. No contact with this guy. I, I, I, I'm reluctant to say the name because we want to work with the agency again, so I won't say the name, but recently we had an interaction with a, With a celebrity guest. A very famous celebrity guest.

[Chris Hoadley]

Oh, you were talking about that.

[Brian Green]

That.

[Chris Hoadley]

Okay, I thought you were talking about that.

[Brian Green]

No. Paulie, couch cushions coming up. Stay tuned. I know, everybody.

[Chris Hoadley]

We're working with his agent.

[Brian Green]

I wish he has an agent. He has an agent. He is his own agent. Recently we had an interaction with a very famous celebrity. And that interaction you'll never hear because the interaction, the 5 minutes, 10 minutes, actually ended up being more like 15 minutes of interaction that we had with the celebrity was so disconcerting.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

That Chrissy and I kind of bailed on the interview. I mean, it's a, There's a little bit more to it than that. I don't think we exactly bailed on the interview, but we decided not to return to the interview after their interview.

[Chris Hoadley]

He had a bad reputation anyways. He lived up to it.

[Brian Green]

He lived up to it. Every inch of it. He was a complete waste of time. He was an asshole to two people he didn't meet. And by the way, he was angry about something that wasn't even our fault. It was, it was a timing issue his agent gave him. Anyway, the whole situation ended up really turning us off. Now I'm watching his own personal Instagram reels and he's doing the same thing to random strangers around him. He's being an asshole. It feels, Feels like we made the right call.

[Chris Hoadley]

I think so.

[Brian Green]

I don't think we'll ever see that particular guy on the commercial break, but you never know. Stranger things have happened. And if we could talk earnestly and honestly about his reputation and why he gets it that way, if we could go deep with him, then I might be able to do that. But I wonder if he even.

[Chris Hoadley]

Throw some Ram Dass out.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, throw some Ryan throwing Ram dots. I have this habit, you probably know.

[Chris Hoadley]

And I love Ramdots, by the way, but.

[Brian Green]

Me too. Me too. Obviously. I love him so much. I quoted him during an interview. You probably noticed this, but during the TCB infomercials, there are times when we're just silly. And having fun with a guest largely depends on the guest's mood or attitude. But sometimes my default position is to try and get into somebody's head. Like a psychologist. Like I'm doing a therapy session with them. I don't know. Something I just like to kind of, I don't know, go inside, I guess, go inside some how somebody's thinking.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah, it's interesting.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. And so during a recent interview, which you'll hear and very quickly in the future, I decided to quote Ram Dass. The guy who wrote Be Here now passed away a couple of years ago. But he's like the original OG Eastern philosophy, Western guy kind of thing. He's like, you know, he's the dude who back in the summer of love brought it all here. He started it all. Started everybody wondering. Not one of the guys who started it all. Want everybody wondering what Eastern philosophy was all about and going inside and figuring it all out with meditation and stillness and all that. Anyway, I quoted him during an interview and I think the interviewee was wondering exactly what she had shown because it was like within the first seven minutes of the interview too. I didn't even wait. I just kind of threw it out there. I was like, so here's what you're saying. Oh, why did that just stop all of a sudden? Like that. That was weird. Did. Was the music over?

[Chris Hoadley]

I guess it was.

[Brian Green]

It was. Oh, okay. All right. I talked so long, the music just ended. I. I don't know. Anyway, everybody. And I mean everybody. I can't think of how many text messages at this point I've gotten about Paul.

[Chris Hoadley]

My brother in law wrote me about it yesterday too.

[Brian Green]

Allison.

[Chris Hoadley]

So classic. Yeah, I've been doing everything all wrong.

[Brian Green]

I've been doing everything all wrong. I don't know. I thought I had it all figured out. And here comes Paulie Couch cushions tearing it all up. Now he doesn't have the couch cushions anymore. He's literally got a banner that's a hundred dollar bill.

[Chris Hoadley]

Oh my God.

[Brian Green]

So. So let me say this, and then we'll get it. We'll get into it because I know everyone I know because we have very rarely gotten a reaction like this to anything that we have done. Sometimes Frankie B. Will get a similar reaction, but not in this volume. I mean, I might get like 10 text messages about a FR B video, but we've done so many at this point, I think everybody's just kind of used to the Frankie B. Attitude. Mood Paulie Couch Cushions, who we just introduced two weeks ago, has taken the commercial break world by storm. I can't think of. I can't count how many sex messages I've received and Alison Hair, when I was in Disney, was the one who tipped me off that I might be onto something because she was like, I'm like a couple minutes into this poly couch cushions thing, and I need to know where I can find the video of. Is the video up, like the commercial break video up of you guys doing this? Because I am. I love it. I'm all about it. When I got home, there were so many text messages about Pauly D. The great news about team coach Pauly D is what? That's the actual YouTube video, if you want to go watch it. The great thing is he's literally putting out a video every 30 minutes. And I. It's just fantastic. It's a wealth of videos. The channel's relatively new. He just celebrated getting to a thousand subscribers, which I would laugh at earnestly. But I don't even think we're there yet. And so Paulie D, or Paulie Couch Cushions, as we've taken to calling him around here, is really just a phenomenon. A mass of testosterone, machismo, and God, very bad English. It's all. Yeah, and money and probably some. Some kind of narcotic pain medication somewhere in there. But the guy is brilliant in his own way. I've fallen in love with Paulie Couch Cushions. I've watched so many of his videos at this point, so I thought, you know, I could drag this out and, like, do another one in a month. But that's not our style here. When we find something we like, we jump right on it. So without any delay, we're back from vacation. We're back from the Odyssey studios. I think we should treat ourselves to another Polly Couch Cushions video. Now, let me describe. What's going on here is a little different than the other videos we watched. Paulie's on his black pleather couch down in his mom's basement. He has a wider angle because he's got a guest with him. He does. And that guest, an in person guest, you will learn, is the girl, whatever her name was. Cotton. What's her name? Cotton. I don't know, some weird name like that who he put on Half Contact, which means he only talked to her half the time. He only responded to her on occasion because she had done the incredible disservice of telling him he liked something when he didn't like it, if you remember.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah. Among his friends or something.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, among his friends. He said. She said, oh, you must like that. And he didn't say that. So he had. So she's on Half Contact. He won't Be talked to like that. What you, what else is now caught in the shot is the, the couch cushions that were like the image of $100 bills were on the couch cushions are gone. But in the back there was a cloth banner. That is a large hundred dollar bill. He's also got a, looks like a bottle of Pinot Grigio, but it's blue.

[Chris Hoadley]

I don't know what that is.

[Brian Green]

I think it's blue because of what's behind it.

[Chris Hoadley]

No, it's the digital clock.

[Brian Green]

It's the digital shining. Yeah. Actually think that's like a camera. That's weird. It's a camera. It's one of those like Amazon cameras. Like home camera. That's weird. But maybe he's doing, I don't know, maybe he's creating some content or something.

[Paulie Couch Cushions]

Oh, he is.

[Brian Green]

So this young lady is gorgeous, no doubt about it. She's got brown curly hair. She's wearing a brown one piece mini skir. No shoulder, shoulderless on one side.

[Chris Hoadley]

One shoulder, yeah.

[Brian Green]

Looks like she looks like a typical New Jersey beauty. I mean that's it. She's a lovely girl. I, I, I mean I'm just looking at her. I'm just sharing my own feedback about her. Not that anybody cares what Brian thinks about how you look, but I'm just sharing, I'm trying to give the fill in the details. For those of you listening, Paulie White long sleeve T shirt. The long sleeve T shirt's always a good look, especially when it's tucked in to acid wash jeans and a black belt with a huge belt buckle, gold chain strap. He's got the hat, he's kicking it. Racket, stack it. Let's go Pauly D, baby.

[Chris Hoadley]

Oh yeah.

[Brian Green]

All right, hit that, hit that subscribe button. Let's go together, let's grow together.

[Paulie Couch Cushions]

What is the number one thing you're attracted to in a man?

[Cotton Candy]

Definitely a person of vanity. So I'm all about looks. Yeah. Gotta have something nice to look at.

[Paulie Couch Cushions]

What is your favorite body part? So what is gonna stop you in the street and just be like, oh my God, wow, this guy is fucking hot.

[Brian Green]

What is the dick that, what is the date size gonna make you just drop like wet panties on the ground? By the way, can you get me some more of my medication? I'm a little sleepy.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah, he looks like it.

[Brian Green]

Maybe it might be the Pinot Grigio I'm drinking. Nothing says huge testicles like a glass of cold Pinot Grigio, you know what I'm saying? Chrissy, shut up. I'm trying to do a video over here. Jesus Christ, you're killing me. Whack it, stack it, let's go. While we're back it seven, maybe first.

[Cotton Candy]

And foremost is facial features, because that's.

[Brian Green]

He's drinking.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah, he's slurping that down.

[Cotton Candy]

Something you can't get in the gym. Right? Something that's just not right. Right. Natural by genetics. So that's first and foremost. And then there goes after that, the body. Because if you care for yourself, then you got to care about.

[Brian Green]

Give me some more. Give me some more of that wine. That wine.

[Cotton Candy]

Anything else?

[Paulie Couch Cushions]

Oh, you see a man's body after the face, and it shows they care for themselves. So tell me more about.

[Brian Green]

He could not be sitting further away from her on the.

[Chris Hoadley]

Moved further.

[Brian Green]

I think he just moved. Now he's got his phone in his hand.

[Paulie Couch Cushions]

Like, what about that? Like, what does that mean to you? Is that make a break? Like, tell me more about that.

[Brian Green]

All right, all right. And this a over here doing an interview.

[Chris Hoadley]

Very, very similar style.

[Cotton Candy]

Definitely make a break. Because if they don't care about themselves, I don't know what the long run of that relationship might just be.

[Chris Hoadley]

I think her mic might be.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, that's her mic on the side over there. See? See over there? He's got a random microphone. Yeah. Not the best podcast setup in the world, but I don't think anybody's watching this. Cares.

[Cotton Candy]

Issues later on down the line.

[Brian Green]

That's first.

[Paulie Couch Cushions]

So what if a guy doesn't work out?

[Cotton Candy]

If he doesn't work out.

[Chris Hoadley]

Did he just hiccup?

[Brian Green]

Yeah, yeah, I just. I just threw up a little bit in my mouth. That's right. Shut up, Chrissy. Trying to do a video. Jesus, you're killing my fucking. My jizz level went down by like 10%. When you're talking over there, Chrissy's. You got my testicles shrinking.

[Cotton Candy]

He's probably not that great in bed either, you know, and he's gotta have stamina.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, true. True that. If he doesn't. If he ain't at the gym 15 times a day, he ain't got the stamina to keep it going. Seven hour lovemaking sessions, six and a half of which include me looking at myself in the mirror and endurance.

[Cotton Candy]

And I feel like he most likely will not. I think that's a really important thing. That means he's organized. He's about his stuff.

[Brian Green]

He's about his stuff.

[Chris Hoadley]

He's organized.

[Brian Green]

She's almost as good as talking as.

[Cotton Candy]

He is serious about himself. And hopefully that falls in line, you know, with his finances.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. Straight from the gym to the finances. Nothing says I got my shit together financially like staying the entire day at the gym or.

[Chris Hoadley]

Or having just a banner.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. With $100 bill. If you've got hundred dollar bill banner in your mom's basement. Yeah. In an emergency, take it down. In case of emergency, break the door down in the basement of my mom's house and get that hundred dollar bill. It's a good. That's good words there. I like those words. Not sure what you said because I'm a little sleepy right now, but whack it, stack it. Let's go together. Let's grow together. God said it, I didn't.

[Paulie Couch Cushions]

So how important is a man's finances?

[Cotton Candy]

His finances are very important.

[Brian Green]

He doesn't have to be said no Astrid ever.

[Cotton Candy]

Mega rich off rip. He just has to be going in the right direction to reach higher success, you know?

[Brian Green]

Higher success. Nothing like success. That's a Frankie B word right there.

[Paulie Couch Cushions]

Success.

[Cotton Candy]

Let's have a plan. And you know how to. Has to be organized.

[Brian Green]

I think they're both up. Yes. Yeah, they're both falling asleep mid sentence. Look at Paulie. I know. He can't. Couch cushions is. There's a reason why we named. A reason why this nickname is sticking is because he needs a couch cushion so he can take a little nappy. Yeah.

[Cotton Candy]

As far as his finest.

[Chris Hoadley]

He's got the furry blankie in the background.

[Brian Green]

He does everything. Looks very cozy over there. I do have to say, even though it's not my favorite recording setup, I could take a nap on that couch. I feel like I have taken a nap on that couch.

[Cotton Candy]

Friday doesn't have to be excellent, but just going on the right way.

[Brian Green]

He doesn't have to have credit. He doesn't have to be financially rich off the rip. He just has to be going in that direction. Said Paulie to her.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yes.

[Paulie Couch Cushions]

How much money do you think I'm making you?

[Brian Green]

How many money you think I'm. I'll be back. I gotta power down for a second. I'll be right back. I'm in a creatine coma. I'm in a protein coma. I'll be right back.

[Cotton Candy]

I would say at least one.

[Chris Hoadley]

What?

[Brian Green]

Oh, did he. Did he bleep that?

[Chris Hoadley]

She said 150something.

[Brian Green]

Did she give like. Like a penny amount? Because that was like a long thing. He. He muted. He muted that. That's kind of crazy. Why ask the question if you want to mute it?

[Cotton Candy]

I would say at Least one.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

Oh, she said $150 million. Off his YouTube channel. With a thousand subscribers? I don't think so. I wish, I Wish I made 100. That's about how many subscribers we have. And we're not making that one isn't important.

[Paulie Couch Cushions]

So now what if a guy's only making like 50,000?

[Cotton Candy]

I hope if he's making just 50,000, he has plans on making more just then. Besides his current job, he has more goals set in mind to reach higher.

[Brian Green]

No, no guy ever in the history of fifty thousand dollar making didn't have goals of making more money. I think most people are not satisfied making a. Not like $50,000 is a chunk of change, no doubt about it. But it's not exactly like in 2025, it's hard to live on $50,000 even.

[Cotton Candy]

By yourself, you know, heights in life. Because, yeah, it's okay, you can be comfortable, you know, and just get by. But you know, life is.

[Brian Green]

His one eye is falling asleep. That's. It's so weird what's going on here.

[Chris Hoadley]

I know because I can't tell because there's weird editing too, or like his heads in one position at one point and. But hers stays the same.

[Brian Green]

And then his moves around. It's like almost like he had to take a nap. And then he came back to the video a little bit later, but he told her to stay still.

[Paulie Couch Cushions]

Where were we?

[Cotton Candy]

Oh, definitely enjoy life. Like, you know, involves things like traveling and buying yourself things, you know, not in excess, but just treating yourself like.

[Chris Hoadley]

A hundred dollar bill.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. Like poster.

[Chris Hoadley]

You know, the finer things in life.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. From Etsy.

[Cotton Candy]

At some point there's only one life to live.

[Paulie Couch Cushions]

So how do you decipher if he's actually going the right direction? Because I always tell my students, like.

[Brian Green]

Because I always tell my student, like I say your students, like if you get to place and left and you can.

[Chris Hoadley]

I know he's. Oh, he's leaning back now too.

[Brian Green]

I know he's so tired and guys, I'm not saying this because I like, I'm. I don't know. I don't know. Pauly D. And I hope that he's not like, has some problem with any kind of prescription medication or whatever. So I don't know this. I'm saying this because I have seen it. I have been there, I have done it. I know what it's like. This seems to me like there is some chemical flowing through Paulie's body that is making him unable to stay awake for a period of time.

[Chris Hoadley]

Gotta be. That's the only thing you want to.

[Paulie Couch Cushions]

Kind of go out on there. A little something called show. Until, you know, you couldn't just tell something, right? You had to show it first. Tell it.

[Brian Green]

Right. So I would, like show my. So I like showing my dick and then where was I in the sentence?

[Paulie Couch Cushions]

No, with your women. You just tell and tell. You know, you're telling them who you are, but there's no show to it. And then you want to know why I leave you? I'll never get with you? Because you're on a dating app. Instagram.

[Cotton Candy]

Whoa.

[Brian Green]

Whoa.

[Chris Hoadley]

I mean, his eyes literally are just closed.

[Brian Green]

Wow. I'm wondering if what we're laughing at now is something a little bit more watching somebody who's like, kind of in the throes of some kind of addiction.

[Chris Hoadley]

It's either that or just he's working out too hard in the gym.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, that might be. That might be it too. Yeah, he's working too hard. He gets home, he eats a big meal. He's. He might be in a food coma. You never know because that will do it to you too.

[Paulie Couch Cushions]

Well, this. And you're in the first date and you're running about. You make six multifigures. You fucking do crypto, and you do.

[Brian Green]

This, and you're fucking with crypto. You're fucking with crypto. You're on the Trump coin. You're on the Melania coin. Meanwhile, she's staring straight ahead.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

Like a deer in a headlight. She has no idea. So strange, this whole scene. I'd love to spend a day with you. Hey, Paulie, if you're getting this message, if you're hearing this, if you're awake, let me know, because I'll spend a day with you. Dude, I love you, bro. I don't. I don't want to see anything bad happen to you. I think you're a funny character. You. You. I think. What, you got your own game. I got my own game. Listen, call me and let me spend a day with you, because I want to get inside your world. I want to see your head. And if you need help for some reason, then I'm not the person to call, but I probably have a phone number somewhere.

[Paulie Couch Cushions]

I tell my clients, you know, you know, I stole this, obviously from Goldie, but I want you. I want to get chose with my mouth closed.

[Chris Hoadley]

What?

[Brian Green]

I want to get shows with my mouth closed.

[Chris Hoadley]

I stole it from Goldie.

[Brian Green]

I stole it. I stole it from Goldie. I said I want to get shows on my Mouth closed, if you notice what I mean. Most.

[Paulie Couch Cushions]

In designer, I was just preference of six foot, six pack, six figures. Plus it doesn't have clothes. She has to be stupid not to choose me, right? I don't need to say anything because I just put it, you know, and I show it. I take professional photos with the way.

[Chris Hoadley]

But not professional videos.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. Hey, Paulie. Chrissy and I take professional photographs too. It hasn't landed us a whole slew of lately. Not that Chrissy's looking for it.

[Paulie Couch Cushions]

Dress and act. She would be to not see what I'm talking about. And then on top of it. My point is, I'm prefacing getting Joseph Di Malcols and show and tell what talent tells. And by the time I could even tell you, I've already showed you. And by then you're already a believer. So I don't gotta say much.

[Brian Green]

What in the good fuck? How does this guy's brain work? I wanna know.

[Chris Hoadley]

I don't even know what to say.

[Brian Green]

I feel like there's like a bunch of wires in his head that are. Yeah. And it's like blue's supposed to connect with blue, but then sometimes it jumps over to red. It's like this studio.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yes.

[Brian Green]

A lot of these wires, they do something if they were plugged in the right way, but they're not. So you get this. The commercial break.

[Cotton Candy]

Only way that I could really actually tell if he's, you know, getting back whatever he's working towards is, you know, by action. I have to see it. I have to actually see, you know, something happening, you know, not with him just, you know, talking about something he's planning. As long as I see it, then I really won't believe it. I'll just think he's just trying to, you know, get in my pants and just try to, you know, get me. And I'm not going to waste my time.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. Because Paulie hasn't been talking about getting into anybody's pants. Thank God. Paulie is all about your brains. Paulie has been talking about nothing except getting in your pants.

[Chris Hoadley]

Something about a mouth closed.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. Chose with your mouth closed. Chose with your mouth closed. Chrissy, I'm trying to tell you, you got to show and tell, not tell and tell. Don't, don't hate me. God said it. I stand on business. Smack it, Mack it. Let's go and whack it.

[Paulie Couch Cushions]

No, if they're showing you properly. Like what? Because anybody can act like they have something. Is it like, you know, anybody?

[Chris Hoadley]

I got $100 like, there's so many things.

[Brian Green]

Anybody can rent a car. I love this so much. I can watch this all day.

[Chris Hoadley]

Oh, my God.

[Brian Green]

This is better than any seven little Johnson. I'm sorry. It is.

[Paulie Couch Cushions]

Like, what shows you, like, what actually gets you to believe this guy is this.

[Cotton Candy]

Well, I would have to see, you know, let's say, for instance, like, he's trying to become an owner of a brand. You know, I like to see, you.

[Brian Green]

Know, material, and I'd like to see a full portfolio. I just see. I like to see a proposal. Oh, wow. Man, dating in New Jersey must be tough. You got to have a brand portfolio. You can't just rent a car. Yeah, you got to have the papers to make sure you can see the car. You got to at least have one pleather couch somewhere in the accoutrements. And God forbid you don't have $100 bill hanging out somewhere. All right, there's lots more. Pauly D. I've lined up a couple of videos. This is just the beginning. Let's listen to the notable change in this. By the way, this video is almost over, but let's notice. Let's notice the notable change in energy level, tone, and texture when Paulie is by himself in the next video. We'll get to that after these words.

[Rachel]

Why don't you text us and we can text back and then you can text us and reply, then so on. It's a fun little game I've been playing, and I think you'll be great at it. 212-4333. TCB. That's 212-433-3822. You could leave a message too. If you do, maybe you'll end up being the voice of the show. But be warned, the pay is not great. You could go to the website and drop us an email. Also tcbpodcast.com and while you're there, you can get a free sticker. Who doesn't want a free sticker? Just go to the contact us button and ask for one. Follow us on Insta at the commercial break and watch the [e-mail] the commercial break. Now I'm going to go back to that texting game you want to play. Come on. Bye.

[Brian Green]

All right, we're back with poly couch cushions. We're jumping to the next video here. Rapid fire. Boom, boom, boom. Let's go together. Let's grow together. Stack it, whack it. Let's get it in a packet.

[Paulie Couch Cushions]

She.

[Brian Green]

I wanna, I wanna know is with your mouth closed.

[Paulie Couch Cushions]

Doesn't like you if she's doing these three things. Oh, Stack Jack White teach you how to Mac guys. The third.

[Brian Green]

Oh, the couch cushions are back. So that's good. At least we got those going for us.

[Chris Hoadley]

What's red?

[Brian Green]

What's. Oh, he. I think he gave blood or something he'll. He'll talk about. But look how, look how more. Look how much more energetic he is right now.

[Chris Hoadley]

Got his name tag on.

[Paulie Couch Cushions]

Yes.

[Brian Green]

Name tag with.

[Chris Hoadley]

It's a sticky name tag.

[Brian Green]

And he's got his tattoo.

[Paulie Couch Cushions]

Of this pit and probably is what happens to all you guys to watch through the whole video. Subscribe to the channel. Help me grow. We hit 1k, baby. Comment in the comments. I've been here. If you've been here and I'll send you a T shirt. Let's grow. I'm not stopping on YouTube.

[Chris Hoadley]

A T shirt?

[Brian Green]

Yeah, a T shirt. You're gonna send a T shirt to everybody that comments in the comments. What if they don't comment in the comments? What if they comment on the like button? What are you gonna do then?

[Paulie Couch Cushions]

Paul just invested in another mentor. 15, 20 grand. I'm taking over this. I love you, man. Just gave blood. So I'm in here tatted and, and, and inked and a rapping a thing first.

[Brian Green]

You hear what I said first? Let's get to the lessons. Chrissy, the lessons. Come on. Shut up. You're making me nervous over here. You got. I'm wasting time because of you.

[Paulie Couch Cushions]

She argues or disrespects you.

[Brian Green]

You hear that, Chrissy? Exactly. That's what I'm talking about. This is the problem with you. You argue and you disrespect both of these things. You're on half contact. I'm gonna put your mute button on. I'm put half mute on you. Chrissy's on half mute.

[Paulie Couch Cushions]

Can only argue with men they're trying to dominate and do not look up to and have zero respect for. If she's constantly disagreeing and or pushing your buttons, she doesn't respect you. And this is just a placeholder mentality. You're just here. She doesn't like anything you do at all. When a girl likes, likes you, she likes everything you do. You could say you. She'll say, say.

[Chris Hoadley]

Chest muscles.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, he's got to, he's got to do that so you know that he's. He's been working out. He's been stacking, whacking. Let's go in and packing it. Oh my God. Why are you showing us the thong? Yeah, the thong Girl. A girl. He's. He's got a picture of whoever, Cotton. Cotton Candy, whatever her name is, all right, with his thong on because it says Paulie on the back of the thong. And then the other girl's cleaning his shoe. So, you know, that's ass cleaning my shoes.

[Paulie Couch Cushions]

A girl that likes you will do everything for you if it's like this. She sees you as an emotional sponge, not a man to follow. This is not attraction. This is just a situation and she wants to be out of it. You're just holding the fucking place. When a girl loves you, you can feel it. You feel like you.

[Brian Green]

You can feel it. I've never. I. I don't understand this level of testosterone. I just don't. I'm sorry.

[Chris Hoadley]

And then these videos. What?

[Brian Green]

You know, the stock videos he puts in between here. Obviously, I don't know, maybe has AI running out there and trying to find these videos for him, but they're just. They don't make much sense.

[Paulie Couch Cushions]

Dating more than dating. She's not yours. She's already somebody else's. A girl that really likes you submits, is calm. She lets you take the full lead. She's completely in her submissive when she's constantly arguing.

[Brian Green]

Dog Polly.

[Chris Hoadley]

She's in her submissive.

[Brian Green]

She's in her submissive. She's fully in her submissive. You know what that means, Chrissy? Either do I need to understand.

[Paulie Couch Cushions]

This girl does not like you. Those are not normal traits. And I've been with the craziest, craziest girls that really argue with everyone. And that girl's speaking about one specific is just trouble.

[Brian Green]

Because.

[Chris Hoadley]

Here we go.

[Brian Green]

Here we go. Just like Frankie B. Yeah, it's the old Frankie B. Playbook. Let's take what we hate about everybody else and let's make it a generalization about everybody else.

[Paulie Couch Cushions]

And they'll never find a man. But some girls will be arguing, but not with me.

[Brian Green]

Arguitive. I hate when my chicks are arguing. It drives me crazy. Chrissy.

[Paulie Couch Cushions]

Well, not with the man that they really like.

[Brian Green]

And that's most women.

[Paulie Couch Cushions]

Number two, baby. She never pays. She never buys.

[Brian Green]

Wow. This is the second video in a row that he's given this same advice to. If she doesn't pay, then she's not. She's not on your level. But then he explains that he really doesn't make her pay. He just wants her to leave the.

[Chris Hoadley]

Tip and he's going to give the credit card.

[Brian Green]

He's going to give her the credit card to make the tip number gives.

[Paulie Couch Cushions]

If A girl does not buy you things or offer. By the third date she does not like you. This trick mentality of a man pays for everything. Is this new age way for girls to be only fans girls? When they're not only fans girls, these girls do what?

[Brian Green]

Wait. Is the new age way for men to pay for everything? I thought that was the old age way. Or am I out of style?

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah, no, I think.

[Brian Green]

Am I just.

[Chris Hoadley]

That's that, that's the old way.

[Brian Green]

Have I cycled one too many in my life? Am I so old that I've gone through so many cycles that I'm going backwards? I missed the cycle somewhere in there.

[Paulie Couch Cushions]

Thank you. They're just. You're just a meal ticket. You're just a trick. If a girl really likes you, she will share her resources. And I tell this to my women in the beginning stages of dating to set up the scenario for when they understand the type of dynamic of the relationship.

[Brian Green]

So you're going to take me on a nice vacation. Okay. I just want you to know that. Oh, my name is Paulie. What's yours? I'm sorry, I forgot the name. Part early stages. I gotta set the ground rules. Stack it packet. Look it while I whack it.

[Paulie Couch Cushions]

He's sitting with a woman like say third, fourth date. And these girls usually offer to pay. And what I'll say to them is. Good, because if you didn't, this is not going to last much longer.

[Chris Hoadley]

Good.

[Brian Green]

Your brother in law is right. We have been doing this all wrong the entire time. How did I not know this? Why did I not pull this playbook out with Astrid? Yeah, good, good, good. Listen, let me pay. And of course Astrid said that on occasion. Let me pay or I'll, I'll. We'll split this or this is my, my treat. And I would always. The bill, usually the bill was already paid. I'd sneak off to the bathroom. Yeah. But I can only imagine if I said good because I ain't got no money and my credit's not so good. Good. Because I didn't bring my wallet. Not because I forgot it, but because I'm perfect.

[Paulie Couch Cushions]

And if they don't, I'll somehow dwindle in a way to come up with a phrase.

[Brian Green]

Wind a little way, Windle it away. Nothing like windling away. Have you ever windled away, Chrissy? You look like you're windling away right now. I'll be back. I'm gonna go do some windling.

[Chris Hoadley]

You gotta win.

[Brian Green]

That's the name of this episode. Windling away. Yep, I'm cool.

[Paulie Couch Cushions]

But I'll get straight to the point. I don't joke because I'm a serious man, but I'll be like, oh, you just thought this was a one way meal ticket, huh? Or I'll just. I'll talk about the law of reciprocation, which is something I do and I'm gonna break down to you guys, but something I'll do early dates too. I'll talk about scenarios where I know and I'm even doing them a favor by bringing this up. I shouldn't even have to do that.

[Brian Green]

I'll talk about. I'm doing them a favor.

[Chris Hoadley]

I'm doing them the law of reciprocation.

[Brian Green]

I'm doing them a favor.

[Chris Hoadley]

It doesn't seem to be what he's doing.

[Brian Green]

No, it's the law of you pay.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah, good.

[Brian Green]

The law of amount of money.

[Paulie Couch Cushions]

Scenarios of the law of reciprocation with friends and when guys don't offer to buy things back when they get bought and how I don't respect those, they get bored. Opportunity.

[Brian Green]

What he don't. I don't know. Some things. Some things go right over my head. If they don't pick that up by.

[Paulie Couch Cushions]

The third or fourth date and try to buy something, then she doesn't like me. So the law of reciprocation states when something is done for you the opposite, the person should want to do it back. The same thing should be done back when the opposite is done and nothing is done for you.

[Brian Green]

When the opposite of done of the thing you've done, then the thing gets done when you do it on the opposite. But when you return that thing, then it returns back to you in the opposite way. To nothing. Chrissy, that is the law of reciprocation. It's Einstein's fifth law of reciprocation. I studied it. I'm windling away over here trying to get you to understand.

[Paulie Couch Cushions]

Human does not like you. And I'm very, very sure about that. Just because a girl has a vagina, it has a slit in between her legs. Why does the law of reciprocation go out the window? That's insane. Just because she's a woman doesn't mean she needs to reciprocate. Reciprocate now.

[Brian Green]

Doesn't mean she needs to reciprocate. I think.

[Chris Hoadley]

Nothing like the romantic notion of a slit between your legs.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, my favorite, my least favorite word for a vagina is a minj. And that is what they say a lot in England. Your minge I hate that word, but I think I found a new one that I hate even.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

More. And that is a slit in between your legs. Lovely fact that I make more money.

[Paulie Couch Cushions]

Because I make more money than anyone I'm with and I dominate the relationship physically, mentally, emotionally, sexually. Doesn't mean I should just pay for all the bills now. I'll pay for 90% of them, 70% of them and take care of my day.

[Brian Green]

Ninety percent of them, 70% of them. Twenty to 23% of them, depending on what your slit looks like. I don't know. Just because you have a slit doesn't mean you can't do math. I pay for at least 7% of everything that we do at a Chili's everywhere else, which is my go to place because I dominate physically, emotionally, sexually, food wise in the kitchen.

[Paulie Couch Cushions]

Like I just bought my chicken plane ticket here. But she bought the last three. The lower reciprocation said I should buy one for her. But now I take care of everything. Yeah, she stays with me, I handle everything she doesn't spend money on here. So low reciprocation says she should pay for the flight. But then because of that 7030 rule, and that's not a cheap guy rule, I would have always said back in.

[Brian Green]

The day that a man pays that 70 30. It went from 9010 to 7030 in one sentence. Yeah, it's getting worse for cotton candy every minute.

[Chris Hoadley]

Oh yeah.

[Paulie Couch Cushions]

This is just a teaser to see how much you're into me because not only does the law of reciprocation say I need to allow her to pay, the law of resources say that I need to allow her to pay. A woman's most scarce resource is her money as she's biologically inclined to try to save for her future children and potentially her children that she has now.

[Chris Hoadley]

God.

[Brian Green]

This guy's got all kinds of. He's got all whack dairy notions. Yeah, he's.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah. Philosophy.

[Brian Green]

He's. I can't believe any woman would want to be with this guy. But hey, listen. To each their own life with you.

[Paulie Couch Cushions]

The children, whatever. Her past children. And to save in their hind brain because they make babies in their women.

[Brian Green]

Her past children. Who's. How do you have future children?

[Chris Hoadley]

Current children? Past children.

[Brian Green]

I wish I had past children.

[Paulie Couch Cushions]

Same for that child, the potential child or their actual child. And money is scarce. Them. Yes, women make money nowadays more than ever. But a lot of girls don't have money and. Or make money.

[Brian Green]

Right?

[Paulie Couch Cushions]

And even the ones that do, they don't have the Man's abundance of mindset that are going to make this forever. They're in a more scarce place where they don't know if they're going to be able to keep it. So therefore they're more scarce to share with where us. A man's scarce resource is resources.

[Chris Hoadley]

A man scarce resources.

[Brian Green]

Did you see how I went. Did you see how I went into the matrix there, Chrissy? You didn't even understand. You don't even know the mental gymnastics that I got to do to get into a place where I can understand this kind of shit. I'm saying the man's resources. The man's most scarce resource is the resources. And inside of those resources are additional resources that you can resource for other resources. Okay, everyone following, let's go together.

[Paulie Couch Cushions]

Let's grow together and start sharing his resources. The people he knows, his circle, the people agreeing. Because it's scarce to us and it's something more be built up. And it takes a man a long time to build up. So when he starts sharing that that's his love. It's a man. A woman doesn't want to share money. A man doesn't want to share his resources, his connections, the way he made money, his family, his energy.

[Brian Green]

He doesn't want to share his family, his connections. You. I'm not sharing my connection with nobody.

[Paulie Couch Cushions]

Sharing his resources and things like that which a woman needs. Money and resource. But it's not about what we need me. It's about what they are willing to share. What we are willing to share are scary.

[Chris Hoadley]

I'm trying. I'm really trying to follow.

[Brian Green]

There's no trying here, Chrissy.

[Chris Hoadley]

Really paying attention and trying.

[Brian Green]

We are in a web.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

We are deep in the mind of poly couch cushions. You know that old Rob Mack.

[Paulie Couch Cushions]

What?

[Brian Green]

The old it's always sunny where they're like strings. This and that. Yeah. I feel like that's. There should be a board where we're trying to keep track of all this too.

[Paulie Couch Cushions]

A woman that loves you will share her most scarce resource with you. Just like a man. When he's serious, he will commit his resource of sex and his overall resources.

[Chris Hoadley]

Resource of sex.

[Brian Green]

His resource of sex.

[Chris Hoadley]

Okay.

[Brian Green]

Okay. All right, cool.

[Paulie Couch Cushions]

And he'll share his resources, his employees. If you don't work for him.

[Brian Green]

I think that his employees. Yeah, gave. I think it went. Drained any remaining brain cells from his little head. He'll share his employees with you. What? He'd take one of my employees? No, have them. I'm serious. It's okay. I'm sharing. I love you. You're the best. But you got to pay for it. You pay his paycheck.

[Chris Hoadley]

Law of reciprocation.

[Brian Green]

Law of reciprocation. I share my most valuable resource, which is my resources, my employees, my resource. You pay for it.

[Paulie Couch Cushions]

That when a man doesn't want to share that and give that to a girl too soon because he doesn't want to to give those things away that he worked so hard for. And a woman doesn't want to give away her money because she may not have it, but when she does and when a girl likes you.

[Brian Green]

My brain's gonna explode.

[Chris Hoadley]

I know. I feel like I have smoke coming out of it trying to follow.

[Brian Green]

It's hard to believe he's only had a thousand subscribers so far.

[Paulie Couch Cushions]

Buy you things. Daddy meant the multi. I just got you this, I just got you that. And she will endlessly buy you you things. You understand? If she's not buying you things, bro, a woman will spend their last dollar on you. A little thing that you can play that I got from my man Goldie.

[Brian Green]

This cola girl right now.

[Chris Hoadley]

My man Goldie. Oh, we got to get to Goldie.

[Brian Green]

Where is Goldie?

[Chris Hoadley]

Goldie.

[Brian Green]

Wow, that's the third time he's been mentioned. That's right.

[Paulie Couch Cushions]

Can never tell you about what this is on the phone right now. Some just went down. You can never ask about what it is later. Make it two times a weekly paychecks. If she makes a thousand a week, make it 2000.

[Brian Green]

What? What? You make something up, I can't tell you what it is.

[Chris Hoadley]

I'll tell you.

[Brian Green]

I'll tell you about it later, but I need $2,000. Wow. I wish I could pull that trick with some of my friends. I can never speak about this again, but I need $250,000.

[Chris Hoadley]

I'll tell you later what it is for.

[Brian Green]

I'm just. It's a test to see if you'll share your resources.

[Paulie Couch Cushions]

$2,000 right now. We can never ask about. I'll give it back to you in two weeks. I like you. Don't ask any questions. Send it over. If she don't like you, she'll ask a million questions. Act as if she does. Just to get the scarce resource. Just to get your money and things like that. Whatever.

[Chris Hoadley]

So that's just to get your money?

[Brian Green]

Just to get your money. You're asking her for her money? What are you talking about? Dude, bro, you're. You're confused, man. You that to say the least, yeah. You got a jumbly tumbly in that head, I can hear the rocks.

[Paulie Couch Cushions]

And to that point, to get your scarce resource. So a woman won't give money to you if she don't like you, but she'll take your money. And when a woman does like you, she'll give you money and doesn't even care to take your money. She'll go 50, 50 with you. She'll sleep with rats.

[Brian Green]

She'll sleep without. She'll sleep with rats. Come on, little mousies. Come in here. Hey, babe, I need $2,000. Don't ask questions. And sleep with these little mice, if you don't mind. That's just a test to see if you love me. Sleep with Mickey Mouse over here. All right, I'll be back. I gotta spend that 2,000.

[Paulie Couch Cushions]

Like it? She'll let you have the whole covers. A girl will never inconvenience a man she really likes.

[Brian Green]

She'll give you the whole covers. I have met a million women, and I've been in bed lucky enough to be in bed with a few. And I have never once had a woman love me enough to give me all the covers and sleep well.

[Chris Hoadley]

I thought she was sleeping with the rats.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, sleeping with the rats. You go down there, little girly, you down with the rats. I'll be up here with all the covers.

[Paulie Couch Cushions]

Emotional level is so fucking crazy for him. They're crazy. They're emotional creatures. And when they like something, they get emotional. Emotional. So when a woman likes you, you'll know. And she'll pay for a lot of number three. A lot of he treats you like you're replaceable. She flakes on dates. You guys are together and you're making things reservations, setting things up. She cancels. She shows up late, in and out. The flaky, playing around social media looking, not looking. All these little flake tactics. Checking in, not checking. Telling you what other guys do, letting you know you're replaceable. She has other options. A girl that lets you know she has other options does not like you. A girl will literally act like you're the only man on the planet and get rid of her options. Her most powerful resource, when she likes you.

[Brian Green]

Oh, wait, you just said her most powerful resource was her money. Now it's options. That's options.

[Paulie Couch Cushions]

You got to talk to the only guy I know. We'll stop letting guys, like, comment on her. She'll delete social media if you ask. But a girl that has options allows intent to come in, come in, does not like you. And she will let you know and show that you're replaceable. These are three hard tactic things. You know, if a girl likes you or not.

[Brian Green]

Look at those.

[Paulie Couch Cushions]

Bite his teeth. It's pretty plain and simple, I really hope.

[Brian Green]

Oh, it's pretty plain and simple. Well, let's see. It took about nine and a half minutes to explain and I understood not one word. Paulie, couch cushions. Well, another brilliant video by our boy Paulie. Couch cushions. One more to go. If we could. If our. If we can keep up.

[Chris Hoadley]

I feel dizzy.

[Brian Green]

Me too. All right, we'll take a break, get our bearings, let you get your bearings and then we'll be back.

[Paulie Couch Cushions]

You make this rather snappy, won't you?

[Brian Green]

I have some very heavy thinking to.

[Chris Hoadley]

Do before 10 o'.

[Brian Green]

Clock.

[Rachel]

Hi, cats and kittens. Rachel here. Do you ever get the urge to speak endlessly into the void like Brian? Well, I've got just the place for you to do that. 212-4333. TCB. That's 212-433-3822. Feel free to call and yell all you want. Tell Brian I need a race. Compliment Chrissy's innate ability to put up with all his shenanigans or tell us a little story. The juicier the better. By the way, we'd love to hear your voice because Lord knows we're done listening to ourselves. Also, give us a follow on your favorite socials at the commercial break on Insta TCB podcast on TikTok. And for those of you who like to watch. Oh, that came out wrong. We put all the episodes out on video, YouTube.com thecommercial break and tcbpodcast.com for all the info on the show, your free sticker, or just to see how pretty we look. Okay, I gotta go now. I've got a date with my dog. No, seriously, Axel needs food. Today is pork chop day.

[Brian Green]

All right, home stretch.

[Chris Hoadley]

Okay, then.

[Brian Green]

I think we might have to take a break from Paulie for a while. Just because I don't know that we can handle Paulie's absolute horseshit for too much longer. He's a train wreck. Oh, my God, is this craziness or what? All right, poly couch cushions coming up. Last video. How to get a girlfriend without being a simp. Okay, this is gonna be a good one. I could tell how to get a.

[Paulie Couch Cushions]

Girlfriend in 2025 without simping in Snapjack. Why teach you how to math? Like comment? Share the video. Subscribe to the channel. If you don't do anything else so you can get more later, don't be A hater. Don't be a simp or a pimp. Let me show you guys that actually want to be in a room.

[Brian Green]

He's good at rhyming, I'll give him that.

[Paulie Couch Cushions]

The relationship in 2025. Exactly how to do so.

[Brian Green]

He's got a different camera angle every single time he turns it on.

[Chris Hoadley]

And now he's got headphones. Or now he's got airpods in.

[Brian Green]

Yeah.

[Paulie Couch Cushions]

Let me break down the 2025 rules to get in the girl of your dreams this year that treats you, respects you, and loves you on you. So, number one, you got to build confidence. You're never going to be with a woman if you're not ten times more confident than her where she feels she can lead to your excessive confidence. No girl wants a man who's not confident. Fix your finances, your fitness, everything in control, structured, ready to handle business. Okay? A girl wants a man that walks with his chest out, in control of the room. Creates relationships because of the attitude he walks around with. That's what a woman wants. Number two, let her impress and qualify for you.

[Brian Green]

You.

[Paulie Couch Cushions]

Stop trying to impress and show.

[Brian Green]

Stop trying to impress for you.

[Chris Hoadley]

But I thought the guy was supposed to be confident and with his chest.

[Brian Green]

Out, as many of these puas will do. It's one thing, one second, the next thing, the next minute, we heard your.

[Paulie Couch Cushions]

Weakness and that you're dying to have her. You'll never have her.

[Brian Green]

Right?

[Paulie Couch Cushions]

Who gets a job at a job? The guy that asks the questions and does the interview.

[Brian Green]

Who gets a job at a job?

[Chris Hoadley]

Wise words.

[Brian Green]

Never. I've never heard a better sentence in my life. It is what it is. Who gets a job at a job? I'm holding space for that.

[Paulie Couch Cushions]

Getting to this little while. And the guy that's trying to impress or the one who's doing the interviewing and not trying to press. Right. You're getting hired by the guy that doesn't care. Right? You're trying to impress. Let her qualify herself to you. Ask the questions on the date. Let her run a and open her mouth. Let her try to impress yourself. Ask questions, stay calm, stay quiet. Stay in control. Show power and dominance in a respectful manner.

[Brian Green]

In a respectful manner. Show power and dominance.

[Paulie Couch Cushions]

She will walk herself into your arms. But when you're too eager to tell her about your life, you're gonna be gone, bro. Stop trying to tell her everything. Let her find out. Show walk. You've done the work.

[Brian Green]

Show walk. Talk, eat. Don't do it. Do it. I don't care. Get the job. You don't have the job. Forget about it. Let him impress you. Let her impress me. Order the vegetables, don't eat the meat. You know what I'm saying? Chr. This is how you get a girl 20, 25 without being a simple.

[Paulie Couch Cushions]

Girls don't want potential. They want.

[Brian Green]

Show your ambition, but not too much. Let her impress you, you impress her. Don't show too much ambition. Shut your mouth. Get the job, do the work. Chest out, chest in. Up, down, left, right. I know what I'm saying.

[Paulie Couch Cushions]

Direction. They want to see that you have ambition towards the direction if you actually show.

[Brian Green]

I have ambition toward many directions, but mainly east. I don't know why. I've always felt really partial to east and that's why my ambition is in the east.

[Paulie Couch Cushions]

You have a plan and you're actively going after it. That' that they want.

[Chris Hoadley]

Is that a drug?

[Paulie Couch Cushions]

Ambition?

[Chris Hoadley]

Drug counting.

[Brian Green]

It's the back of a casino. He's showing people counting stacks of dollars.

[Paulie Couch Cushions]

Talking about who you're going to become. You don't need to be rich, you need to be hungry. Showing you're ready to die for the plan that you have and actually taking action on it.

[Brian Green]

Okay. What? Why am I What?

[Chris Hoadley]

I don't know.

[Brian Green]

I like this podcast, but I'm not ready to die for it. Maybe that's why Astrid is not all that interested in anything I have to say anymore. Okay.

[Paulie Couch Cushions]

They want a man with goals. Purpose driven. Don't talk about your goals. Live them and show her you're going towards something. A man that's on a mission is a man that girls want. Not a man that's supposedly good looking. Not a man who's rich. The Lambo. We want the driven.

[Brian Green]

The Lambo. Because I don't have one.

[Paulie Couch Cushions]

Savage man. That's what a woman wants.

[Brian Green]

The lambo. Toyota Camry, 1996. It's in mom's name, but I'm gonna buy it from her pretty soon because I got ambition toward my direction.

[Paulie Couch Cushions]

Level four, run the relationship from the first text from setting up the first date. You should be in lead. A woman will never be with you if you just.

[Brian Green]

7:30 bar, meet me. Which one? Don't ask questions.

[Chris Hoadley]

You'll find out later.

[Brian Green]

Figure it out. Show ambition. I'm gonna give that. I'm sending one to Astrid for our next date night. Like 7:30 dinner. Figure it out.

[Cotton Candy]

Be there.

[Brian Green]

Be there. 7:30 dinner. Make a reservation. Don't tell me. I'll figure it out.

[Paulie Couch Cushions]

I take the lead. Never mind. Stay with you. You can't show up and take lead and then falter in the relationship. You cannot not take lead and get into a relationship. I see so many single men out here. Nobody. Because they don't know what the.

[Chris Hoadley]

That's where Goldie is.

[Brian Green]

He's sick. He's got his finger on the pulse of Hoboken, which we have a lot of listeners actually. Love you Hoboken. Look out for this guy.

[Paulie Couch Cushions]

Well, they're doing and they're not dating on a high quality. All I need is one girl. I hear guys say all the time I just need one. But you can't get one. And if you have one, she disrespects you. You're settling for someone disrespect you. Most relationships I see are horrible because the guy just getting disrespected and the girl doesn't like the guy because these guys out here are weak. Subscribe to the video, guys. Come on. Hit that like button. Smash that John for me.

[Chris Hoadley]

So smash that.

[Brian Green]

What John? I think you said. What does that mean? The toilet. What are we doing? Smash that Porta Potty for wham bam, wham, bam. Take a shit. Yes, ma'. Am. Let's go.

[Paulie Couch Cushions]

Seven o'. Clock. I can be ready when I get out of work. Seven o'. Clock. Drinks, talk quiet, speak easy. Wear a red dress.

[Brian Green]

Drinks, talk, don't say anything.

[Chris Hoadley]

Wear a red dress.

[Brian Green]

Speak easy, be quiet, don't talk. Air conditioning at 73. It's an Uber ride.

[Paulie Couch Cushions]

Thursday, I'm free during the day. We could do a quick workout. Come around 3 o'.

[Brian Green]

Clock.

[Paulie Couch Cushions]

We had a little gymshark outfit I saw you on Instagram with wearing. Cute man. Girls love that when you tell them.

[Brian Green]

Girls love that when you tell them what to wear to the gym for our first date. Meet me at the gym. I don't know, maybe it's the kind of girl that I'm dating, but most of if I said meet me at the gym at 7:30 for a day, they'd be like, wait.

[Paulie Couch Cushions]

Nothing to think about. Saturday, we're gonna start early. I got something to do with the boys.

[Brian Green]

Later. Before. Yeah, he's getting sleepy. It's coming on now.

[Paulie Couch Cushions]

It's casual. Jeans and a nice top, no heels. We're just going to the pier. Nice sharp color.

[Chris Hoadley]

Exactly what's going to go.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, we're going all the way to the pier. I guess that's the thing in Hoboken. Go to the pier.

[Paulie Couch Cushions]

What the rest of her life is going to look like? They're turned on by that masculine energy. Makes feminine relax you need to put her in a feminine by you massively being in your masculine and owning it. Let her lean into it and then the relationship will escalate. Massively escalate. And including that. Don't rush commitment. You lock it down after two days because you think she's cute. You just know it's all you can get. It's all you've had in a while. You want to have consistent sex so you break your manhood. You need to be complete with yourself and be you first and be able to be happy with yourself so fulfilled itself that you don't need anyone else. And that's when she'll want you.

[Brian Green]

Well, that is the only piece of advice that Paulie Couch Cushions has ever given us that we've heard that actually makes sense. You do be happy with yourself before you can lend that happiness to someone else or make somebody else happy. So good for you Polly for recognizing that. I'll call a spade a spade. That was a good piece of advice.

[Paulie Couch Cushions]

A minimum a year. I know influences that do two years and then I know most of you guys do two days, two weeks. You don't know a girl in two days.

[Brian Green]

I know influencers who wait two years.

[Paulie Couch Cushions]

I don't know have a relationship two weeks maker wait. Make her qualify herself, make her make a mistake. Find out who she is. When you give it to her quick, too quick. She's gonna change on you quick. When you make her wait and you give them the rope to hang on and you wait. Eventually she's gonna make a mistake. And if she doesn't and if she doesn't keep up. But it's way more likely that she won't when she.

[Brian Green]

What was that? Sound like a lightsaber. Oh, this is so good. This is so good.

[Paulie Couch Cushions]

It put through these hoops. Cuz she knows you're just not some guy to wife anything up.

[Brian Green]

And that's what I think.

[Chris Hoadley]

It's like a motor outside.

[Brian Green]

It's a motor. Or is it a dog growling. I don't know.

[Paulie Couch Cushions]

Attractive to her. When you just give in like any guy ever. It's just a turnoff man. And it's not what they want. You need to be hard to get. You need to be act like you don't need a relationship but you're better off with one. But she can never.

[Brian Green]

Nothing says. Nothing says I'm ready for commitment. Like telling a girl you're not ready for commitment. This is a dumb. This is dumb.

[Cotton Candy]

Yeah.

[Paulie Couch Cushions]

Know that you need to be sure.

[Brian Green]

These are games. He's Playing games with women. And I. There are probably plenty of people out there who will play these games with you. But are those the kind of people you want to be in long term relationships with? No, of course not. Because game relationships aren't about game playing. I mean, you know Chrissy's kind of game playing where Jeff puts her in handcuffs and throws her against the refrigerator? That's one thing. That's one kind of game. And he's playing head games. And that's a different.

[Paulie Couch Cushions]

Yeah, masculine make it. Don't just jump right into nothing. And then number six, don't be lazy when you win them, when you get up, that's when the game starts. It needs to be understood that if.

[Chris Hoadley]

You'Re growing, you play the game to get her. And then when you get her, that's when the game really starts.

[Brian Green]

That's when you really start with it. That's what I'm telling you.

[Paulie Couch Cushions]

And groceries got to go. And if you don't follow those same rules, always getting embedded shape, you're not getting bigger, getting more ripped. If you're not getting more ripped, you get in better fight shape. If you're not getting more unkillable, then you're just killable. So you have to do that. That's not an option.

[Brian Green]

You know, we don't getting more unkillable. What are you talking about?

[Chris Hoadley]

You gotta get unkillable. Because if you're not, then you're killable.

[Brian Green]

This is the problem with men these days. Everybody thinks they have to be unkillable. Why we don't. We're not. There's no bears outside of our cabins. We're not fighting off Tyrannosaurus rexes anymore.

[Paulie Couch Cushions]

More that weak sport. If you expect her to stay in shape, have that fat little ass with a tight waist and look great, you need to be doing it as well. You need to be getting better in your business. You can't. The guy. It's so selfish when guys fall off when they get a relationship. It's literally disgusting. That should never be the case. You need to be escalating massively when you get into a relationship. So most men, they stop grinding, they stop leading, they stop dressing. Well, everything needs to get more sexy.

[Brian Green]

More, they stop bleeding or they stop leaving. Leading lady. Okay, intimate.

[Paulie Couch Cushions]

Grow more, make more money because you're doing it for her now and yourself. This is a pack. This is now we get better together and now we're two in one together. Relationships are beautiful, but you have to get better together forever. And that's it. You guys are always falling off. So to close this thing out, guys.

[Brian Green]

You guys are always falling off. You're a bunch of morons. I love you guys. You're idiots.

[Paulie Couch Cushions]

2025, your girlfriend. This is the script to get a girlfriend. 2025. Don't just take anyone. Don't just fall for anyone. She has distracted actions. DMS non stop. You need to be the best option and the least desperate option. That's the only way you're going home with the girl you want. And I don't want lackluster relationships. I want high quality relationships with the women that we actually, actually want. Guys. And that's what we're gonna do this year. Subscribe to the channel Stack Jack. Why teach you how to Mac. I love you guys. Click the links in the description. My website, my Instagram. Go follow my unkillable program. Also be in the description. Anyone that goes to my Instagram likes comments, follows the last part post, shares it to a friend and DM me to work. Copy. I'll give you a copy for 9.99 everything of four days.

[Brian Green]

If you do these 48 things, I'll give it to you for double the price it's worth, plus shipping and handling. All right. Whoa. Wow. Okay.

[Chris Hoadley]

That was something.

[Brian Green]

That was a lot. That was a lot. I feel like I have to decompress.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

I gotta tell Astron I gotta take a nap after this one because I'm not sure. I don't know what just happened. An hour of our life just went down the hole with someone who spoke very incongruently. I think that's the best way to put it.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

But listen, I love him. He's. He might be a lug nut, but he's our lug nut now. Guys, welcome to the commercial break. Family Bali couch cushions. You have officially become part of our Lord. You are our new sun. And sun setting in the west and rising in the east. We live and die and breathe by everything you say incorrectly. So there you go. Frankie, look out. We turned you in for a younger model.

[Chris Hoadley]

The new gen.

[Brian Green]

Yes. All right, Frankie, you better get back to making content or you might find yourself out of a commercial break job. Just saying.

[Chris Hoadley]

Hey, look, find a job at the job.

[Brian Green]

Who gets the job at the job? He does. Because he. He's there. He showed up. We've got 80 videos of this guy. We could go on forever. We could do this for the next four years. I hope we don't, but we could go on for the next three.

[Chris Hoadley]

Oh, no.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. We got to take a little break after this one. Three videos in a row is a lot.

[Chris Hoadley]

That was.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. I don't know how people go down a rabbit hole with him. And I don't know. I don't know that he's giving anything that like. Of value.

[Chris Hoadley]

No.

[Brian Green]

What would you get out of these videos?

[Chris Hoadley]

Something for 9.99.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. Something for 9.99. If you share and follow and subscribe and like and comment. Plus, thank God we don't make you do that. But because we don't make you do that, we also don't have any followers, subscribers or listeners. A true story. All right, let's do this. Why don't you text us 212-4333 TCB212 433-3822. Questions, comments, concerns, content, ideas. We take them all right there at that phone number. We love to hear from you. We love interacting with everybody. So many new folks have been texting us over the last couple of weeks. Thank you very much. I think I've gotten back to everybody so far. Talk to us. Do it also. Oh, I have a few voicemails I want to play at the commercial break on Instagram, TCB podcast on Tik Tok YouTube.com the commercial break and TCB podcast.com for all the audio, video and your free sticker. Okay, Chrissy, that's all I can do for today.

[Chris Hoadley]

I think so.

[Brian Green]

I'll tell you that I love you. I love you. Best to you. Best to you out there in the podcast universe. Until next time, Chrissy and I will say, we do say, and we must say goodbye, Sam. I gotta get some cocaine. That could be crazy.