A Fight For Resources!

Summary

The Commercial Break - Episode: "A Fight For Resources!"

Release Date: July 4, 2025

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1. WSHIT News Segment (01:35 - 03:28)

The episode opens with Judith Snickelberg, the newly appointed head of the Central Crabapple Intelligence Agency (CCIA), addressing the local community. Judith faces skepticism regarding her qualifications, especially given her previous role as the house mother of the Kitty Cat Petting Club on Central Avenue. Residents express doubts about her capability to lead an intelligence agency, prompting Judith to defend her position passionately.

Notable Quote:

Judith Snickelberg (02:12):
"I am not trying to have people just straight up going after these people. If you know, you know."

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2. Main Discussion: A Fight for Resources (03:28 - 66:26)

The bulk of the episode revolves around Bryan Green and Krissy "Chrissy" Hoadley delving into their contentious experience with a celebrity guest, Paulie Couch Cushions—a YouTuber known for his controversial and often absurd dating advice.

a. Encounter with Paulie Couch Cushions

Bryan recounts a particularly frustrating interaction with Paulie, which left a lasting negative impression on both hosts. The experience was so disconcerting that they decided against featuring him in future episodes.

Notable Quote:

Bryan Green (04:38):
"He was a complete waste of time. He was an asshole to two people. He didn't mean."

b. Critique of Paulie’s Dating Advice

Bryan and Chrissy thoroughly dissect Paulie's videos, mocking his misguided principles centered around leveraging "resources" in relationships. They highlight the nonsensical nature of his advice, such as the overemphasis on financial dominance and the "Law of Reciprocation."

Examples of Mocked Advice:

• Bryan Green (13:08):
  "What is the dick? What is the date size gonna make you just drop like wet panties on the ground?"

• Chrissy Hoadley (35:30):
  "So you're going to take me on a nice vacation. Okay. I just want you to know that."

c. Humorous Banter and Interactions

The hosts engage in playful and chaotic interactions, often interrupting each other with jokes and sarcastic remarks. Their chemistry adds a layer of humor to the critique, making the segment entertaining despite the negative subject matter.

Notable Interaction:

Bryan Green (40:26):
"They're being an asshole. It feels like we made the right call."

d. Ongoing Mockery and Frustration

Bryan and Chrissy continue to express their frustration with Paulie’s content, comparing him unfavorably to other guests like Frankie B., another recurring personality on the podcast. They emphasize the repetitive and illogical nature of his advice, often breaking into laughter and sarcastic commentary.

Notable Quote:

Bryan Green (65:01):
"I don't know what just happened. An hour of our life just went down the hole with someone who spoke very incongruently."

e. Personal Reflections and Host Dynamics

Throughout the discussion, Bryan and Chrissy reflect on their podcasting approach, their friendship, and how interactions with difficult guests impact the show's dynamic. Their candid and unfiltered conversation style underscores the podcast's chaotic and humorous nature.

Notable Quote:

Bryan Green (64:56):
"We could do this for the next four years. I hope we don't, but we could go out for the next three."

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3. Audience Interaction and Call to Action (Throughout the Episode)

Interspersed within the main discussions, Bryan and Chrissy frequently encourage listeners to engage with the podcast through calls, texts, and social media interactions. These moments are woven seamlessly into their critiques, maintaining the show's casual and irreverent tone.

Notable Invitation:

Bryan Green (27:30):
"I know, Chrissy's looking for it. When I got home, there were so many text messages about Pauly D."

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4. Concluding Remarks and Final Ads (66:26 - 68:46)

The episode concludes with additional advertisements and a final humorous recognition of Paulie Couch Cushions’ influence on their show. Bryan and Chrissy wrap up the episode by reflecting on the chaotic nature of their discussions, maintaining their signature blend of humor and satire.

Notable Farewell Humor:

Bryan Green (64:40):
"He's a lug nut. But he's our lug nut now. Guys. Welcome to the commercial break family folly couch. Good. You have officially become part of our lore."

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Overall Episode Highlights

• Critique of Celebrity Guests: The episode's primary focus is on Bryan and Chrissy's unfiltered and humorous critique of Paulie Couch Cushions, reflecting their comedic dynamic.

• Humorous Interactions: The hosts' playful banter and chaotic interactions add entertainment value, aligning with the podcast's improv-comedy style.

• Satirical Tone: The consistent use of satire and sarcasm serves to highlight the absurdity of Paulie’s dating advice, making the critique both funny and engaging.

• Audience Engagement: Regular prompts for listener interaction foster a sense of community and involvement, enhancing the podcast's casual and relatable atmosphere.

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Conclusion:

"A Fight For Resources!" embodies The Commercial Break podcast's signature chaotic and humorous style. Through their candid and irreverent discussion of Paulie Couch Cushions’ flawed dating advice, Bryan Green and Krissy Hoadley deliver an engaging and entertaining episode that showcases their unique chemistry and comedic prowess.

Transcript

[Brian Green]

Are you buying a home in California? Yeah. It can feel like trying to solve a puzzle with a hundred missing pieces. I remember searching for my first home, thinking how does anyone do this without losing their mind? I wish I could go back and tell myself that the first step you should take is to find a realtor. They make everything make sense. From pre approvals to paperwork, from offers to closing. It's someone that you can trust that'll walk you through it all. They'll answer all the questions, even ones you don't know to ask and when are feeling a little bit overwhelming, you can count on them to keep you grounded. That kind of steady support, you cannot get that from going it alone or guesswork. A realtor knows the ins and outs of the California real estate market and helps turn what feels like impossible into done. Don't let what you don't know stop you from starting your next chapter. Find your [e-mail] that's championsofhome.com.

[Chris Hoadley]

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[Judith Snickelberg]

And welcome back to WSHIT News. WSHIT fair and almost balanced. In local Crabapple news, the newly appointed head of the ccia, the Central Crabapple Intelligence Agency, Judith Snickelberg, gave a press conference to local residents and broadcasters to explain why she was qualified qualified to run the ccia. Many residents questioned whether she should be running the intelligence agency, given that her most recent occupation was as the house mother of the Kitty Cat Petting Club on Central Avenue. Let's take a listen to a little bit of what Director Snickelberg had to say this afternoon.

[Unknown Speaker 1]

Some idiot, probably a normal person that just is dumber than a box of rocks. Okay. Asks me about videotaping life with my mental disorders. I have PTSD and anxiety, both of which I got because the Department of Defense kidnapped children of mine that I donated to science. Yeah, the very first ever science donation. Got crotched by an air woman that was mine. And then the weirdos ran off with my kids. While I've been published in Nudie magazines and things like that. So I don't want people, the good people, hearing exactly what I think about people like that every day to bring down the morale of our nation. I am not trying to have people just straight up going after these people. If you know, you know.

[Judith Snickelberg]

While this reporter is no stranger to the kitty cat club, I would have to see the nude photographs in question to determine the veracity of her claims. Those pictures can be sent directly to this reporter through his Slack channel. We'll be back after this commercial break.

[Brian Green]

On this episode of the commercial break.

[Unknown Speaker 2]

Can never tell you about what this is. On the phone right now. Some shit just went down. You can never ask about what it is later, but make it two times weekly paycheck. So she makes a thousand a week. Make it 2000.

[Brian Green]

What, what do you make something up? I can't tell you what it is. I'll tell you about it later, but I need $2,000. Wow. I wish I could pull that trick with some of my friends. I can never speak about this again, but I need $250,000.

[Unknown Speaker 1]

I'll tell you later.

[Brian Green]

I'm just. It's a test to see if you'll share your resources.

[Unknown Speaker 2]

The next episode of the commercial break starts now.

[Brian Green]

No. Oh, yeah. Cats and kittens, welcome back to the commercial break. I'm Brian Green. This is my dear friend and the co host of this show, Chris and Joy Hoadley. Best to you, Chris.

[Unknown Speaker 1]

Best to you, Brian.

[Brian Green]

Best to you out there in the podcast universe. How the hell are you? Thanks for joining us. I think we made absolutely the right.

[Unknown Speaker 1]

Decision with the guy.

[Brian Green]

With this guy. Yeah, yeah.

[Unknown Speaker 1]

Oh, yeah.

[Brian Green]

Half Contact full. Contact full. No contact with this guy. I, I, I, I'm reluctant to say the name because we want to work with the agency again, so I won't say the name. But recently we had an interaction with a, with a celebrity guest. A very famous celebrity guest.

[Unknown Speaker 1]

Oh, you were talking about that.

[Brian Green]

That.

[Unknown Speaker 1]

Okay, I thought you were talking about that.

[Brian Green]

No. Paulie, couch cushions coming up. Stay tuned. I know, everybody.

[Unknown Speaker 1]

We're working with his agent.

[Brian Green]

I wish. He has an agent. He has an agent. He is his own agent. Recently we had an interact. Very famous celebrity. And that interaction you'll never hear because the interaction, the 5 minutes, 10 minutes actually ended up being more like 15 minutes of interaction that we had with the celebrity was so disconcerting.

[Unknown Speaker 1]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

That Chrissy and I kind of bailed on the interview. I mean, it's a, there's a little bit more to it than that. I don't think we exactly bailed on the interview, but we decided not to return to the interview after their interview.

[Unknown Speaker 1]

He had a bad reputation anyways. And he lived up to it.

[Brian Green]

He lived up to it, every inch of it. He was a complete waste of time. He was an asshole to two people. He didn't mean. And by the way, he was angry about something that wasn't even our fault. It was. It was a timing issue his agent gave him. Anyway, the whole situation ended up really turning us off. Now I'm watching his own personal Instagram reels and he's doing the same thing to random strangers around him. He's being an asshole. It feels. Feels like we made the right call.

[Unknown Speaker 1]

I think so.

[Brian Green]

I don't think we'll ever see that particular guy on the commercial break, but you never know. Stranger things have happened. And if we could talk earnestly and honestly about his reputation and why he gets it that way, if we could go deep with him, then I might be able to do that. But I wonder if he even has.

[Unknown Speaker 1]

Throw some Ram Dass out.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, throw some Ryan. Throwing Ram Dass. I have this habit, you probably know.

[Unknown Speaker 1]

And I love Ram Dass, by the way, but.

[Brian Green]

Me too. Me too. Obviously. I love him so much. I quoted him during an interview. You probably noticed this, but during the TCB infomercials, there are times when we're just silly. And having fun with a guest largely depends on the guest's mood or attitude. Yeah, but sometimes my default position is to try and get into somebody's head, like a psychologist. Like I'm doing a therapy session with them. I don't know, something of. I just like to kind of, I don't know, go inside, I guess. Go inside some. How somebody's thinking.

[Unknown Speaker 1]

Yeah, it's interesting.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. And so during a recent interview, which you'll hear in very quickly in the future, I decided to quote Rom Das. The guy who wrote Be Here now passed away a couple of years ago, but he's like the original OG Eastern philosophy, Western guy kind of thing. He's like, you know, he's the dude who, back in the summer of love, brought it all here. He started it all. Started everybody wondering. Not one of the guys who started it all want everybody wondering what Eastern philosophy was all about and going inside and figuring it all out with meditation and stillness and all that. Anyway, I quoted him during an interview, and I think the interviewee was wondering exactly what she had shown because it was like within the first seven minutes of the interview, too. I didn't even wait. I just kind of threw it out there. I was like, so here's what you're saying. Oh, why did that just stop all of a sudden? Like that. That was weird. Was the music over?

[Unknown Speaker 1]

I guess it was.

[Brian Green]

It was. Oh, okay. All right. I talked so long, the music just ended. I don't know. Anyway, everybody. And I mean everybody. I can't think of how many text messages at this point I've gotten about Paul.

[Unknown Speaker 1]

My brother in law wrote me about it yesterday, too.

[Brian Green]

Allison.

[Unknown Speaker 1]

Classic. Yeah, I've been doing everything all wrong.

[Brian Green]

I've been doing everything all wrong. I don't know. I thought I had it all figured out. And here comes Paulie, couch cushions, tearing it all up. Now he doesn't have the couch cushions anymore. He's literally got a banner that's a hundred dollar bill.

[Unknown Speaker 1]

He does. Oh, my God.

[Brian Green]

So. So let me say this, and then we'll get it. We'll get into it, because I know everyone. I know because we have very rarely gotten a reaction like this to anything that we have done. Sometimes Frankie B. Will get a similar reaction, but not in this volume. I mean, I might get like 10 text messages about a Frankie B. Video, but we've done so many at this point, I think everybody's just kind of used to the Frankie B. Attitude mood. Paulie Couch Cushions, who we just introduced two weeks ago, has taken the commercial break world by storm. I can't think of. I can't count how many text messages I've received. And Allison Hare, when I was in Disney, was the one who tipped me off that I might be onto something because she was like, I'm like a couple minutes into this poly couch cushions thing, and I need to know where I can find the video of. Is the video up like the commercial break video up of you guys doing this? Because I am. I love it. I'm all about it. When I got home, there were so many text messages about Pauly D. The great news about team coach Pauly D. Is what? That's the actual YouTube video, if you want to go watch it. The great thing is he's literally putting out a video every 30 minutes. And I. It's just fantastic. It's a wealth of videos. This channel's relatively new. He just celebrated getting to a thousand subscribers, which I would laugh at earnestly. But I don't even think we're there yet. And so Pauly D. Or Paulie Couch Cushions, as we've taken to calling him around here, is really just a phenomenon, a mass of Testosterone, machismo and God, very bad English. It's all money. Yeah, and money. And probably some. Some kind of narcotic pain medication somewhere in there. But the guy is brilliant in his own way. I've fallen in love with Paulie couch cushions. I've watched so many of his videos at this point, so I thought, you know, I could drag this out and like, do another one in a month. But that's not our style here. When we find something we like, we jump right on it. So without any delay, we're back from vacation. We're back from the Odyssey studios. I think we should treat ourselves to another Polly couch cushions video. Now let me describe. What's going on here is a little different than the other videos we watched. Paulie's on his black pleather couch down in his mom's basement. He has a wider angle because he's got a guest with him.

[Unknown Speaker 1]

He does.

[Brian Green]

And that guest, an in person guest, you will learn, is the girl, whatever her name was. Cotton. What's her name? Cotton. I don't know, some weird name like that who he put on half contact, which means he only talked to her half the time. He only responded to her on occasion because she had done the incredible disservice of telling him he liked something when he didn't like it. If you remember.

[Unknown Speaker 1]

Yeah. Among his friends or something.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, among his friends. He said, she said, oh, you must like that. And he didn't say that. So he had. So she's on half contact. He won't be talked to like that. What you. What else is now caught in the shot is the. The couch cushions that were like the image of $100 bills were on. The couch cushions are gone, but in the back there was a cloth banner. That is a large hundred dollar bill. He's also got a. Looks like a bottle of Pinot Grigio, but it's blue.

[Unknown Speaker 1]

I don't know what that is.

[Brian Green]

I think it's blue because of what's behind it.

[Unknown Speaker 1]

No, it's the digital cloth.

[Brian Green]

It's the digital signing. Yeah. I actually think that's like a camera. That's weird. It's a camera. It's one of those like Amazon cameras, like home camera. That's weird. But maybe he's doing. I don't know, maybe he's creating some content or something.

[Unknown Speaker 1]

Oh, he is.

[Brian Green]

So this young lady is gorgeous, no doubt about it. She's got brown curly hair. She's wearing a brown one piece mini skir. Uh, no, shoulder. Shoulderless on one side. One shoulder yeah, it looks like she looks like a typical New Jersey beauty. I mean, that's it. She's a lovely girl. I, I, I mean, I'm just looking at her. I'm just sharing my own feedback about her. Not that anybody cares what Brian thinks about how you look, but I'm just sharing, I'm trying to give that. Fill in the details for those of you listening. Paulie White long sleeve T shirt. The long sleeve T shirts, always a good look, especially when it's tucked in to acid wash jeans and a black belt with a huge belt buckle, gold chain strapped. He's got the hat, he's kicking it. Racket, stack it. Let's go. Pauly D, baby.

[Unknown Speaker 1]

Oh, yeah.

[Brian Green]

All right, hit that, that subscribe button. Let's go together. Let's go together.

[Unknown Speaker 2]

What is the number one thing you're attracted to in a man?

[Unknown Speaker 3]

Definitely a person of vanity. So I'm all about looks.

[Brian Green]

Yeah.

[Unknown Speaker 3]

Gotta have something nice to look at.

[Unknown Speaker 2]

What is your favorite body part? So what is gonna stop you in the street and just be like, oh, my God, wow, this guy is hot.

[Brian Green]

What is the dick? What is the date size gonna make you just drop like wet panties on the ground? By the way, can you get me some more of my medication? I'm a little sleepy.

[Unknown Speaker 1]

Yeah, he looks like it.

[Brian Green]

Maybe it might be the Pinot Grigio I'm drinking. Nothing says huge testicles like a glass of cold Pinot Grishio, you know, I'm saying. Chrissy, shut up. I'm trying to do a video over here. Jesus Christ, you're killing me. Whack it, stack it, let's go. While we're back it, Whatever.

[Unknown Speaker 3]

Maybe first and foremost is facial features. Because that's.

[Brian Green]

He's drinking. Yeah, he's slurping that down, slurping that down.

[Unknown Speaker 3]

Something you can't get in the gym, right? Something that's just right, right. Natural by genetics. So that's first and foremost. And then there goes after that, the body. Because if you care for yourself, then you got to care about.

[Brian Green]

Give me some more. Give me some more of that wine, that wine.

[Unknown Speaker 3]

Anything else.

[Unknown Speaker 2]

But you see a man's body after the face, and it shows they care for themselves. So tell me more about that.

[Brian Green]

He could not be sitting further away from her on the move.

[Unknown Speaker 1]

Further.

[Brian Green]

I think she just moved. Now he's got his phone in his hand.

[Unknown Speaker 2]

Like, what about that? Like, what does that mean to you? Is that make a break? Like, tell me more about that.

[Brian Green]

All right, all right. Anderson Cooper over here. Doing an interview.

[Unknown Speaker 1]

Very, very similar style.

[Unknown Speaker 3]

Definitely make a break. Because if they don't care about themselves, I don't know what the long run of that relationship might just be.

[Unknown Speaker 1]

I think her mic might be.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, that's her mic on the side over there. See? See over there? He's got a random microphone. Yeah. Not the best podcast setup in the world, but I don't think anybody's watching this.

[Unknown Speaker 3]

Cares issues later on down the line. That's first.

[Unknown Speaker 2]

So what if a guy doesn't work out?

[Unknown Speaker 3]

If he doesn't work out.

[Unknown Speaker 1]

Did he just hiccup?

[Brian Green]

Yeah, I just. I just threw up a little bit in my mouth. That's right. Shut up, Chrissy. Trying to do a video. Jesus, you're killing my. My jizz level went down by like 10 when you're talking over there, Chris, you got my testicle shrinking.

[Unknown Speaker 3]

He's probably not that great in bed either, you know, and he's gotta have stamina.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, true, true that. If he doesn't. If he ain't at the gym 15 times a day, he ain't got the stamina to keep it going. Seven hour lovemaking sessions, six and a half of which include me looking at myself in the mirror and endurance.

[Unknown Speaker 3]

And I feel like he most likely will not. I think that's a really important thing. That means he's organized. He's about his stuff.

[Brian Green]

He's about his stuff.

[Unknown Speaker 1]

He's organized.

[Brian Green]

She's almost as good as talking as.

[Unknown Speaker 3]

He is serious about himself. And hopefully that falls in line, you know, with his finances and.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, straight from the gym to the finances. Nothing says I got my together financially like staying the entire day at the gym or.

[Unknown Speaker 1]

Or having just a banner.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, banner with a hundred dollar bill. If you got a hundred dollar bill banner in your mom's basement. Yeah. In an emergency case of emergency, break the door down in the basement of my mom's house and get that hundred dollar bill.

[Unknown Speaker 2]

That's. That's a good.

[Brian Green]

It's a good. That's good words there. I like those words. Not sure what you said, cuz I'm a little sleepy right now, but whack it, stack it. Let's go together. Let's grow together. God said it, I didn't.

[Unknown Speaker 2]

So how important is a man's finances?

[Unknown Speaker 3]

A man's finances are very important. He doesn't have to be said no.

[Brian Green]

Astrid ever.

[Unknown Speaker 3]

Mega rich, off rip. He just has to be going in the right direction to reach higher success, you know?

[Brian Green]

Higher success. Nothing like success. That's a Frankie B. Word. Right there.

[Unknown Speaker 1]

Success.

[Unknown Speaker 3]

Let's have a plan. And you know how to. Has to be organized.

[Brian Green]

I think they're both fucked up. Yes.

[Unknown Speaker 1]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

They're both falling asleep mid sentence. Look at Paulie.

[Unknown Speaker 1]

I know.

[Brian Green]

He can't. Couch cushions is. There's a reason why we named. A reason why this nickname is sticking is because he needs a couch cushion so he can take a little nappy. Yeah.

[Unknown Speaker 3]

As far as his finance, he's got.

[Unknown Speaker 1]

The furry blankie in the background.

[Brian Green]

He does everything. Looks very cozy over there. I do have to say, even though it's not my favorite recording setup, I could take a nap on that couch. I feel like I have taken a nap on that couch Friday.

[Unknown Speaker 3]

It has to be excellent. But just going on the right way.

[Brian Green]

He doesn't have to have credit. He doesn't have to be financially rich off the rip. He just has to be going in that direction. Said Paulie to her.

[Unknown Speaker 3]

Yes, I'm getting to that place.

[Unknown Speaker 2]

How much money do you think I'm making you?

[Brian Green]

How many money you think I'm. I'll be back. I gotta power down for a second. I'll be right back. I'm in a creatine coma. I'm in a protein coma. I'll be right back.

[Unknown Speaker 3]

I would say at least one.

[Unknown Speaker 1]

What?

[Brian Green]

Oh, did he. Did he bleep that?

[Unknown Speaker 1]

She said 150 something.

[Brian Green]

150. Did she give like. Like a penny amount? Because that was like a long thing. He. He muted. He muted that. That's kind of crazy. Why ask the question if you want to mute it?

[Unknown Speaker 3]

I would say at least one.

[Unknown Speaker 1]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

Oh, she said $150 million off his YouTube channel with a thousand subscribers.

[Unknown Speaker 1]

Oh, my God.

[Brian Green]

I don't think so. I wish. I Wish I made 100. That's about how many subscribers. And we're not making that finance and poor.

[Unknown Speaker 2]

And so now what if a guy's only making like 50,000?

[Unknown Speaker 3]

I hope he's making just 50,000. He has plans on making more just then. Besides his current job, he has more goals set in mind to reach higher.

[Brian Green]

No. No guy ever in the history of $50,000 making didn't have goals of making more money. I think most people are not satisfied making a. Not like $50,000 is a chunk of change. No doubt about it. But it's not exactly like in 2025. It's hard to live on $50,000 even.

[Unknown Speaker 3]

By yourself, you know, heights in life. Because, yeah, it's okay. You can be comfortable, you know, and just get by.

[Brian Green]

But his one eye is Falling asleep. That's. It's so weird what's going on here.

[Unknown Speaker 1]

I know, because I can't tell because there's weird editing too. Or like his head's in one position at one point and. But hers stays the same.

[Brian Green]

And then his moves around. It's like almost like he had to take a nap. And then he came back to the video a little bit later, but he told her to stay still.

[Unknown Speaker 1]

Where were we?

[Unknown Speaker 3]

Oh, you have to definitely enjoy life, you know, involves things like traveling and buying yourself things. You know, not in excess, but just.

[Unknown Speaker 1]

Treating us like a hundred dollar bill.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, like the $100 bill poster.

[Unknown Speaker 1]

You know, the finer things in life.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. From Etsy.

[Unknown Speaker 3]

At some point, there's only one life to live.

[Unknown Speaker 2]

So how do you decipher if he's actually going the right direction? Because I always tell my students, like.

[Brian Green]

Because I always tell my student, like, I say your students, like, if you get to place and left and you can.

[Unknown Speaker 1]

I know he's. Oh, he's leaning back now, too.

[Brian Green]

I know. He's so tired and. Guys, I'm not saying this because I, like, I'm. I don't know. I don't know. Pauly D. And I hope that he's not, like, has some problem with any kind of prescription medication or whatever. So I don't know this. I'm saying this because I have seen it. I have been there. I have done it. I know what it's like. This seems to me like there is some chemical flowing through Paulie's body that is making him unable to stay awake for a period of time.

[Unknown Speaker 1]

Gotta be.

[Unknown Speaker 2]

That's the only thing they can't go out. And they had a little something called show until, you know, you couldn't just tell something. Right. You had to show it first. Tell it. Right.

[Brian Green]

So I would, like, show my. So I like showing my dick. And then where was I in the sentence?

[Unknown Speaker 2]

No. What? You women, you just tell and tell. You know, you're telling them who you are, but there's no show to it. And then you want to know why I leave you? I'll never get with you. Because you're on a dating app. Instagram.

[Unknown Speaker 3]

Whoa.

[Brian Green]

Whoa.

[Unknown Speaker 1]

I mean, his eyes literally are just closed.

[Brian Green]

Wow. I'm wondering if what we're laughing at now is something a little bit more watching somebody who's, like, kind of in the throes of some kind of addiction.

[Unknown Speaker 1]

It's either that or just he's working out too hard in the gym.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, that might be. That might be it. Too. Yeah, he's working too hard. He gets home, he eats a big meal, He's. He might be in a food coma. You never know because that will do it to you too.

[Unknown Speaker 2]

Well, this. And you're in the first date and you're running about. You make six multifigures, you fucking do crypto and you do this, and you're fudgeing with crypto.

[Brian Green]

Fudgeing with crypto. You're on the Trump coin. You're on the Melania coin. Meanwhile, she's staring straight ahead.

[Unknown Speaker 1]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

Like a deer in a headlight. She has no idea. So strange, this whole scene. I'd love to spend a day with you. Hey, Paulie, if you're getting this message, if you're hearing this, if you're awake, let me know because I'll spend a day with you. Dude, I love you, bro. I don't. I don't want to see anything bad happen to you. I think you're a funny character. You. You. I think. What, you got your own game? I got my own game. Listen, call me and let me spend a day with you. Because I want to get inside your world. I want to see your head. And if you need help for some reason, then I'm not the person to call. But I probably have a phone number somewhere.

[Unknown Speaker 2]

I tell my clients, you know, you know, I stole this obviously from Goldie, but I want you. I want to get chose with my mouth closed.

[Unknown Speaker 1]

What?

[Brian Green]

I want to get shows with my mouth closed.

[Unknown Speaker 1]

I stole it from Goldie.

[Brian Green]

I stole it. I stole it from Goldie. I said I want to get shows on my mouth closed, if you notice what I mean. Most.

[Unknown Speaker 2]

In designer I was just preference of six foot, six pack, six figures plus clothes. She has to be stupid not to choose me, right? I don't need to say anything because I just put it, you know, and I show it. I take professional photos with the way.

[Unknown Speaker 1]

I take professionals, but not professional videos.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. Hey, Paulie. Chrissy and I take professional photographs too. It hasn't landed us a whole slew of pussy lately. I think Chrissy's looking for it.

[Unknown Speaker 2]

Dress and act. She would be to not see what I'm talking about. And then on top of it. My point is, I'm prefacing getting Joe's with the malcolse and show and tell what? And by the time I could even tell you, I've already showed you. And by then you're already a believer. So I don't got to say much.

[Brian Green]

What in the good fuck? How does this guy's brain work. I want to know.

[Unknown Speaker 1]

I don't even know what to say.

[Brian Green]

I feel like there's, like a bunch of wires in his head. Yeah. And it's like blue's supposed to connect with blue, but then sometimes it jumps over to red. It's like this studio.

[Unknown Speaker 1]

Yes.

[Brian Green]

A lot of these wires, they do something if they were plugged in the right way, but they're not. So you get this. The commercial break.

[Unknown Speaker 3]

Only way that I could really actually tell if he's, you know, getting back whatever he's working towards is, you know, by action. Like, I have to see it. I have to actually see, you know, something happening. Not with him just, you know, talking about something he's planning. As long as I see it, then I really won't believe it. I'll just think he's just trying to, you know, get on my pants and just try to, you know, get me, and I'm not going to waste my time.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. Because Paulie hasn't been talking about getting into anybody's pants. Thank God. Paulie is all about your brains. Paulie has been talking about nothing except getting in your pants.

[Unknown Speaker 1]

Something about a mouth closed.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. Chose with your mouth closed. Chose with your mouth closed. Chrissy, I'm trying to tell you, you got to show and tell, not tell and tell. Don't. Don't hate me. God said it. I stand on business. Smack it, Mac it. Let's go and whack it.

[Unknown Speaker 2]

Know if they're showing you properly. Like what? Because anybody could act like they have something. Is it like, you know, anybody?

[Unknown Speaker 1]

I got $100.

[Unknown Speaker 2]

Like, there's so many things.

[Brian Green]

Anybody can rent a car. I love this so much. I can watch this all day.

[Unknown Speaker 1]

Oh, my God.

[Brian Green]

This is better than any seven little Johnsons. I'm sorry. It is.

[Unknown Speaker 2]

Like, what shows you. What actually gets you to believe this guy is this.

[Unknown Speaker 3]

Well, I would have to see, you know, let's say, for instance, like, he's trying to become a. An owner of a brand. You know, I like to see, you.

[Brian Green]

Know, material, and I'd like to see a full portfolio. I just see. I like to see a proposal. Oh, wow. Man, dating in New Jersey must be tough. You got to have a brand portfolio. You can't just rent a car. Yeah. You got to have the papers to make sure you can see the car. You got to at least have one pleather couch somewhere in the accoutrements.

[Unknown Speaker 1]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

And God forbid you don't have $100 bill hanging out somewhere. All right, there's Lots more. Pauly D. I've lined up a couple of videos. This is just the beginning. Let's listen to the notable change in this. By the way, this video is almost over, but let's notice. Let's notice the notable change in energy level, tone and texture when Paulie is by himself in the next video. We'll get to that after these words.

[Rachel]

Why don't you text us and we can text back and then you can text us and reply, then so on. It's a fun little game I've been playing and I think you'll be great at it. 212-4333, TCB. That's 212-433-3822. You could leave a message too. If you do, maybe you'll end up being the voice of the show. But be warned, the pay is not great. You could go to the website and drop us an email. Also tcbpodcast.com and while you're there, you can get a free sticker. Who doesn't want a free sticker? Just go to the contact us button and ask for one. Follow us on Insta at the commercial break and watch the [e-mail] the commercial break. Now I'm going to go back to that texting game you want to play. Come on. Bye.

[Brian Green]

This episode is sponsored in part by our longtime sponsor, Squarespace. I say Squarespace, you say what? Squarespace, the all in one website platform. It's designed to help you stand out and succeed online. Whether you're just starting out or you're scaling a business like we are. Squarespace gives you everything you need to claim your domain, showcase your offerings, put it all on a professional website to help you grow your brand and get paid. If it sounds like a lot, it is. It's all in one place. Without a website, you cannot do anything in 2025. You can't create and distribute content, you can't create and sell products, you can't showcase your services. And you certainly can't be a mediocre comedy podcast without a great looking website. Oh, but Brian, I don't have $50,000 to help me create a beautiful website. Squarespace does it for you. They have cutting edge blueprint AI. It helps you build a fully custom website in just a few steps using just basic information about your industry goals and personality. Wa bam. Beautiful website. But Brian, I don't have $50,000 to do search engine optimization. Some companies might charge you $50,000. Not Squarespace. Every website is optimized to be indexed with meta descriptions and auto generated sitemap with so much more to help you show up on the search engines more often. Go to squarespace.com commercial for a free trial and when you're ready to launch, use the offer code commercial to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Business cards and handshakes are great, but a website is your salesperson that never sleeps. Squarespace.com Commercial and then make sure to use the code commercial to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. And thank you to Squarespace for being a continued sponsor of the commercial break. Hey, what's up Flies? This is David Spade. Dana Carvey. Look at I know we never actually left, but I'll just say it. We are back with another season of.

[Unknown Speaker 2]

Fly on the Wall.

[Brian Green]

Every episode, including ones with guests, will now be on video. Every Thursday you'll hear us and see us chatting with big name celebrities. And every Monday, you're stuck with just me and Dana. We react to news, what's trending, viral clips follow and listen to Fly on the Wall everywhere you get your podcasts.

[Unknown Speaker 4]

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[Brian Green]

All right, we're back with poly couch cushions. We're jumping to the next video here. Rapid fire. Boom, boom boom. Let's go together. Let's grow together. Stack it, whack it. Let's get it in a packet. I want to. I want a nose with your mouth closed.

[Unknown Speaker 2]

Doesn't like you if she's doing these three things.

[Unknown Speaker 1]

Oh, stack.

[Unknown Speaker 2]

Jack White, teacher at a Mac guys the third.

[Brian Green]

Oh, the couch cushions are back so that's good at Least we got those going for us.

[Unknown Speaker 1]

What's red?

[Brian Green]

What's. Oh, he. I think he gave blood or something. He'll. He'll talk about. But look how. Look how more. Look how much more energetic he is right now.

[Unknown Speaker 1]

His name tag on.

[Brian Green]

Yes.

[Unknown Speaker 1]

It's a sticky name tag.

[Brian Green]

And he's got his tattoo.

[Unknown Speaker 2]

Jerry Lewis of this pit. And probably is what happens to all you guys to watch through the whole video. Subscribe to the channel. Help me grow. We hit 1k, baby. Comment in the comments. I've been here. If you've been here and I'll send you a T shirt. Let's fucking grow. I'm not stopping on YouTube.

[Unknown Speaker 1]

A T shirt?

[Brian Green]

Yeah, a T shirt. You're going to send a T shirt to everybody that comments in the comments. What if they don't comment in the comments? What if they comment on the like button? What are you going to do then?

[Unknown Speaker 2]

Paul just invested in another mentor. 15, 20 grand. I'm taking over this bitch. I love you motherfuckers, man. Just gave blood. So I'm in here tatted and. And inked and a wrap and a thing first.

[Brian Green]

You hear what I said? First? Let's get to the lessons. Chrissy, the lessons. Come on. Shut up. You're making me nervous over here. You got. I'm wasting time because of you.

[Unknown Speaker 2]

She argues or disrespects you.

[Brian Green]

You hear that, Chrissy? Exactly. That's what I'm talking about. This is the problem with you. You argue and you disrespect both of these things. You're on half contact. I'm gonna put your mute button on. I'm put half mute on you. Chrissy's on half mute.

[Unknown Speaker 2]

Can only argue with men they're trying to dominate and do not look up to and have zero respect for. If she's constantly disagreeing and. Or pushing your buttons, she doesn't respect you. And this is just a placeholder mentality. You're just here. She doesn't like anything you do. At all. When a girl likes you, she likes everything you do. You could say you. She'll say.

[Brian Green]

Say.

[Unknown Speaker 1]

Chest muscles.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, he's got to. He's got to do that. So you know that he's. He's been working out. He's been stacking, whacking. Let's go in and packing it. Editing.

[Unknown Speaker 2]

My chick with the name.

[Brian Green]

Oh, my God. Why are you showing us. Yeah, the thong girl. A girl. He's. He's got a picture of whoever. Cotton. Cotton Candy, whatever her name is.

[Unknown Speaker 1]

All right.

[Brian Green]

With his Thong on because it says Paulie on the back of the thong. And then the other girl's cleaning his shoe. So, you know, that's fun as cleaning my shoes.

[Unknown Speaker 2]

A girl that likes you will do everything for you if it's like this. She sees you as an emotional sponge, not a man to follow that. This is not attraction. This is just a situation and she wants to be out of it. You're just holding the place. When a girl loves you, you can feel it. You feel like you.

[Brian Green]

You can feel it. I've never. I. I don't understand this level of testosterone. I just don't. I'm sorry.

[Unknown Speaker 1]

And then these videos. What?

[Brian Green]

Yeah, the stock videos he puts in between here. Obviously, I don't know, maybe has AI running out there and trying to find these videos for him, but they're just. They don't make much sense.

[Unknown Speaker 2]

Dating more than dating. She's not yours, she's already somebody else's. A girl that really likes you submits, is calm. She lets you take the full lead. She's completely in her submissive when she's constantly arguing and fighting.

[Brian Green]

It's not dog, Paulie.

[Unknown Speaker 1]

She's in her submissive.

[Brian Green]

She's in her submissive. She's fully in her submissive. You know what that means, Chrissy? Either do I need to understand.

[Unknown Speaker 2]

This girl does not like you. Those are not normal traits. And I've been with the craziest, craziest girls that really argue with everyone. And that girl's speaking about one specific is just trouble because.

[Unknown Speaker 1]

Here we go.

[Brian Green]

Here we go. Just like Frankie B. Yeah, it's the old Frankie B. Playbook. Let's take what we hate about everybody else and let's make it a generalization about everybody else.

[Unknown Speaker 2]

And they'll never find a man. But some girls will be augative. But not with me.

[Brian Green]

Augative. I hate when my chicks are argu. It drives me crazy. Chrissy.

[Unknown Speaker 2]

Well, not with the man that they really like.

[Brian Green]

And that's most women.

[Unknown Speaker 2]

Number two, baby, she never pays, she never buy.

[Brian Green]

Wow. This is the second video in a row that he's given this same advice to. If she doesn't pay, then she's not. She's not on your level. But then he explains that he really doesn't make her pay. He just wants her to leave the.

[Unknown Speaker 1]

Tip and he's going to give the credit card.

[Brian Green]

He's going to give her the credit card to make the tip number gives.

[Unknown Speaker 2]

If a girl does not buy you things are offered by the third date. She does not like you this trick mentality of a man pays for everything. Is this new age way for girls to be only fans girls when they're not only fans girls these girls do not like.

[Brian Green]

What wait is the new age way way for men to pay for everything? I thought that was the old age way. Or am I out of style?

[Unknown Speaker 1]

Yeah, no, I think.

[Brian Green]

Am I just.

[Unknown Speaker 1]

That's that that's the old way.

[Brian Green]

Have I cycled one too many in my life? Am I so old that I've gone through so many cycles that I'm going backwards? I missed the cycle somewhere in there.

[Unknown Speaker 2]

You're just a meal ticket. You're just a trick. If a girl really likes you, she will share her resources. And I tell this to my women in the beginning stages of dating to set up the scenario for when they understand the type of dynamic of the relationship.

[Brian Green]

So you're going to take me on a nice vacation. Okay. I just want you to know that. Oh, my name is Paulie. What's yours? I'm sorry, I forgot the name part early stages. I gotta set the ground rules. Stack it packet. Look at while I whack it.

[Unknown Speaker 2]

He's sitting with a woman like let's say third, fourth date. And these girls usually offer to pay. And what I'll say to them is good, because if you didn't, this is not going to last much longer.

[Unknown Speaker 1]

Good.

[Brian Green]

Your brother in law is right. We have been doing this all wrong the entire time. How did I not know this? Why did I not pull this playbook out with Astrid? Yeah, good, good, good. Listen, let me pay. And of course Astrid said that on occasion. Let me pay or I'll.

[Unknown Speaker 3]

I'll.

[Brian Green]

We'll split this or this is my, my treat. And I would always. The bill, usually the bill was already paid. I'd sneak off to the bathroom. Yeah, but I can only imagine if I said good because I ain't got no money and my credit's not so good. Good. Because I didn't bring my wallet. Not because I forgot it, but because I'm purpose.

[Unknown Speaker 2]

Date. And if they don't, I'll somehow windle in a way to come up with a phrase.

[Unknown Speaker 1]

Wind a little way.

[Brian Green]

Windle it away. Nothing like windling away. Have you ever windled away, Chrissy? You look like you're windling away right now. I'll be back. I'm going to go do some windling.

[Unknown Speaker 1]

You got to windle away.

[Brian Green]

That's the name of this episode. Windling away.

[Unknown Speaker 2]

Y. I'm cool, but I'll get straight to the Point I don't joke because I'm a serious man, but I'll be like, oh, you just thought this was a one way meal ticket, huh? Or I'll just. I'll talk about the law of reciprocation, which is something I do and I'm gonna break down to you guys, but something I'll do early dates too. I'll talk about scenarios where I know and I'm even doing them a favor by bringing this up. I shouldn't even have to do that.

[Brian Green]

I'll talk about I'm doing them a favor.

[Unknown Speaker 1]

I'm doing them the law of reciprocation.

[Brian Green]

I'm doing them a favor, but doesn't.

[Unknown Speaker 1]

Seem to be what he's doing.

[Brian Green]

No, it's the law of you pay.

[Unknown Speaker 1]

Yeah, good.

[Brian Green]

The law of amount of money.

[Unknown Speaker 2]

Scenarios of the law of reciprocation with friends and when guys don't offer to buy things back when they get put on and how I don't respect those opportunities.

[Brian Green]

What?

[Unknown Speaker 1]

I don't know.

[Brian Green]

I don't know. Some things, some things go right over my head.

[Unknown Speaker 2]

The law of reciprocation.

[Brian Green]

And if they don't pick that up.

[Unknown Speaker 2]

By the third or fourth date and try to buy something, then she doesn't like me. So the law of reciprocation states when something is done for you, the opposite, the person should want to do it back. The same thing should be done back. When the opposite is done and nothing.

[Brian Green]

Is done for you, that person. When the opposite have done of the thing you've done, then the thing gets done when you do it on the opposite. But when you return that thing, then it returns back to you in the opposite way. To nothing. Chrissy, that is the law of reciprocation is Einstein's fifth law of reciprocation. I studied it. I'm windling away over here trying to get you to understand human does not like you.

[Unknown Speaker 2]

And I'm very, very sure about that. Just because a girl has a vagina and has a slit in between her legs, why does the law preserve reciprocation go out the window? That's insane. Just because she's a woman doesn't mean she needs to reciprocate now.

[Brian Green]

Doesn't mean she needs to reciprocate. I think.

[Unknown Speaker 1]

Nothing like the romantic notion of a slit between your legs.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, my favorite, my least favorite word for a vagina is a minj. And that is what they say a lot in England. Your minge. I hate that word. But I think I found a New one that I hate even more and that is a slit in between your legs. Lovely fact that I make more money.

[Unknown Speaker 2]

Because I'm making money than anyone I'm with and I dominate the relationship physically, mentally, emotionally, sexually. Doesn't mean I should just pay for all the bills now I'll pay for 90% of them, 70% of them and take care of my day.

[Brian Green]

Ninety percent of them, 70% of them, 20 to 23% of them depending on what your slit looks like. I don't know. Just because you have a slit doesn't mean you can't do math. I pay for at least 7% of everything that we do at a Chili's everywhere else, which is my go to place because I dominate physically, emotionally, sexually, food wise in the kitchen.

[Unknown Speaker 2]

Like I just bought my chicken plane ticket here, but she bought the last three. The lower reciprocation said I should buy one for her. But now I take care of everything here. She stays with me. I handle everything, spend money on here. So Laura's shape application says she should pay for the flight. But then because of that 7030 rule, and that's not a cheap guy rule, I would have always said back in the day that a man pays for everything.

[Brian Green]

Actually 70 30, which went from 9010 to 7030 in one sentence. Yeah, it's getting worse for cotton candy every minute.

[Unknown Speaker 1]

Oh yeah.

[Unknown Speaker 2]

This is just a teaser to see how much you're into me because not only does the law of reciprocation say I need to allow her to pay, the law of resources say that I need to allow her to pay. A woman's most scarce resource is her money as she's biologically inclined to try to save her future children and potentially her children that she has now gone.

[Brian Green]

Ah, this guy's got all kinds of. He's got all that.

[Unknown Speaker 1]

Yeah, he's philosophies, he's.

[Brian Green]

I can't believe any woman would want to be with this guy. But hey, listen, to each their own life with you.

[Unknown Speaker 2]

The children, whatever. Her past children. And to save in their hind brain because they may be babies and they're women.

[Brian Green]

Her past children. Who's. How do you have future children?

[Unknown Speaker 1]

Current children, past children.

[Brian Green]

I wish I had past children.

[Unknown Speaker 2]

Same for that child, the potential child or their actual child. And money is scarce now. Yes, women make money nowadays more than ever. But a lot of girls don't have money and or make money. Right. And even the ones that do, they don't have the man's abundance of mindset that I'm Gonna make this forever. They're in a more scarce place where they don't know if they're going to be able to keep it. So therefore they're more scarce to share it with. Where us? A man's scarce resource is resources.

[Unknown Speaker 1]

A man scarce resources.

[Brian Green]

Did you see how I went. Did you see how I went into the matrix there? Chrissy, you didn't even understand. You don't even know the mental gymnastics that I got to do to get into a place where I can understand this kind of shit. I'm saying the man's resources. The man's most scarce resource is the resources. And inside of those resources are additional resources that you can resource for other resources. Okay, Everyone following, let's go together.

[Unknown Speaker 2]

Let's grow together and start sharing his resources. The people he knows, his circle, the people agreeing. Because it's scarce to us and it's something we've built up. And it takes a man a long time to build up. So when he starts sharing that, that's his love. So man, a woman doesn't want to share money. A man doesn't want to share his resources, his connections, the way he made money, his family, his.

[Brian Green]

He doesn't want to share his family, his connections, you. I'm not sharing my connection with nobody.

[Unknown Speaker 2]

Start sharing his resources and things like that, which a woman needs. Money and resource. But it's not about what we need. It's about what they are willing to share and what we are willing to share.

[Unknown Speaker 1]

Scar, I'm trying to. I'm really trying to follow.

[Brian Green]

There's no trying here, Chrissy.

[Unknown Speaker 1]

Really paying attention and trying.

[Brian Green]

We are in a web.

[Unknown Speaker 1]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

We are deep in the mind of poly couch cushions. You know that old Rob Mack. What? The old it's always Sunny where they're like strings this and that. Yeah. I feel like that's. There should be a board where we're trying to keep track of all this.

[Unknown Speaker 2]

Number two. A woman that loves you will share her most scarce resource with you. Just like a man. When he's serious, he will commit his resource of sex and his overall resources.

[Unknown Speaker 1]

His resource of sex.

[Brian Green]

His resource of sex.

[Unknown Speaker 1]

Okay.

[Brian Green]

Okay. All right, Cool.

[Unknown Speaker 2]

And he'll share his resources, his employees, the people that work for him.

[Brian Green]

I think that was employees gave. I think it went. Drained any remaining brain cells from his little head. He'll share his employees with you. What? He had take one of my employees. No. Have them. I'm serious. It's okay. I'm sharing. I love you. You're the best. But you got to pay for it, you pay his paycheck.

[Unknown Speaker 1]

Law of reciprocation.

[Brian Green]

Law of reciprocation. I share my most valuable resource, which is my resources, my employees, my resource. You pay for it.

[Unknown Speaker 2]

Yeah. When a man doesn't want to share that and give that to a girl too soon because he doesn't want to give those things away that he works so hard for. And a woman doesn't want to give away her money because she may not have it, but when she does and.

[Brian Green]

When a girl likes you, my brain's gonna explode.

[Unknown Speaker 1]

Explode. I know. I feel like I have smoke coming out of it trying to follow.

[Brian Green]

It's hard to believe he's only had a thousand subscribers so far.

[Unknown Speaker 2]

Buy you things, Daddy, I'm at the malte. I just got you this, I just got you that. And she will fucking endlessly buy you things, you understand? If she's not buying you things, bro, a woman will spend the last time dollar on it. A little thing that you can play that I got from my man Goldie, this cola girl.

[Unknown Speaker 1]

My man Goldie. Oh, we gotta get to Goldie.

[Brian Green]

Where is Goldie? Wow, that's the third time he's been mentioned. That's right.

[Unknown Speaker 2]

Can never tell you about what this is on the phone right now. Some just went down. You can never ask about what it is later. Make it two times her weekly paycheck. So she makes a thousand a week. Make it 2000.

[Brian Green]

What? What do you make something up? I can't tell you what it is.

[Unknown Speaker 1]

I'll tell you.

[Brian Green]

I'll tell you about it later. But I need $2,000. Wow. I wish I could pull that trick with some of my friends. I can never speak about this again, but I need $250,000.

[Unknown Speaker 1]

I'll tell you later what it's for.

[Brian Green]

I'm just. It's a test to see if you'll share your resources.

[Unknown Speaker 2]

$2,000 right now. We can never ask about. I'll give it back to you in two weeks. Girl I shoot won't ask any questions. Sen. If she don't like you, she'll ask a million questions. Act as if she does. Just to get the scarce resource. Just to get your money and things like that, whatever.

[Unknown Speaker 1]

Just to get your money.

[Brian Green]

You're asking her for her money? What are you talking about? Dude, Bro, you're. You're confused, man. You that to say the least. Yeah. You got a jumbly tumbly in that head. I can hear the rocks.

[Unknown Speaker 2]

And to that point, to get your scarce resources. So a woman Won't give money to you if she don't like you, but she'll take your money. And when a woman does like you, she'll give you money and doesn't even care to take you. She'll go 50, 50 with you. She'll sleep with rats. She'll fucking sleep without it.

[Brian Green]

She'll sleep with rats. Come on, little mousies. Come in here. Hey, babe, I need $2,000. Don't ask questions. And sleep with these little mice, if you don't mind. That's just a test to see if you love me. Sleep with Mickey Mouse over here. All right, I'll be back. I gotta spend that 2,000.

[Unknown Speaker 2]

Like it? She'll let you have the whole covers. A girl will never inconvenience a man she really likes.

[Brian Green]

She'll give you the whole covers. I have met a million women and I've been in bed lucky enough to bend in bed with a few. And I have never once had a woman love me enough to give me all the covers and sleep.

[Unknown Speaker 1]

Well, I thought she was sleeping with the rats.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, sleeping with the rats. You go down there, little girly, you're down with the rats. I'll be up here with all the covers.

[Unknown Speaker 2]

Emotional level is so fucking crazy for him. They're crazy. They're emotional creatures and when they like something, they get emotional. So when a woman likes you, you'll know and she'll pay for a lot of number three. A lot of. She treats you like you're replaceable. She flakes on dates. You guys are together and you're making things reservations, setting things up. She cancels. She shows up late, in and out the flaky, playing around social media, looking, not looking. All these little flake tactics. Checking in, not checking. Telling you what other guys do, letting you know you replace other options. Options. A girl that lets you know she has other options does not like you. A girl will literally act like you're the only man on the planet and get rid of her options. Her most powerful resource when she likes you.

[Brian Green]

Oh, wait, you said her most powerful resource was her money. Now it's options. That's options.

[Unknown Speaker 2]

You gotta talk to the only guy I know. We'll stop letting guys, like, comment on her. She'll delete social media if you ask. But a girl that has options allows intent to come in, does not like you, and she will let you know and show that you're replaceable. These are three hard tactic things. You know, if a girl likes you or not. It's pretty plain and simple. I really hope.

[Brian Green]

Oh, it's pretty plain and simple. Well, let's see. It took about nine and a half minutes to explain and I understood not one word. Paulie, couch cushions. Well, another brilliant video by our boy Paulie, couch cushions. One more to go. If we could. If our. I know if we can keep up.

[Unknown Speaker 1]

I feel dizzy.

[Brian Green]

Me too. We'll take a break, get our bearings, let you get your bearings and then we'll be back. You make this rather snappy, won't you? I have some very heavy thinking to.

[Unknown Speaker 2]

Do before 10 o'.

[Brian Green]

Clock.

[Rachel]

Hi, cats and kittens. Rachel here. Do you ever get the urge to speak endlessly into the void like Brian? Well, I've got just the place for you to do that. 212-4333. TC that's 212-433-3822. Feel free to call and yell all you want. Tell Brian I need a race. Compliment Chrissy's innate ability to put up with all his shenanigans or tell us a little story. The juicier the better. By the way, we'd love to hear your voice because Lord knows we're done listening to ourselves. Also, give us a follow on your favorite socials at the commercial break on Insta TCB podcast on TikTok. And for those of you who like to watch. Oh, that came out wrong. We put all the episodes out on video, YouTube.com the commercial break and tcbpodcast.com for all the info on the show, your free sticker, or just to see how pretty we look. Okay, I gotta go now. I've got a date with my dog. No, seriously. Axel needs food. Today is pork chop day.

[Brian Green]

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[Unknown Speaker 1]

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[Brian Green]

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[Unknown Speaker 1]

Cart for an exclusive free gift with.

[Brian Green]

65 purchase at California Psychics, we know.

[Unknown Speaker 2]

Some people can't read the career warning signs like your boss. Still not knowing your name.

[Unknown Speaker 1]

You, Tina, Lisa, Sheila, whatever. Get that report to me by lunch, okay?

[Unknown Speaker 3]

It's Carrie, ma'.

[Unknown Speaker 1]

Am. Just get it done, Terry.

[Unknown Speaker 2]

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[Brian Green]

All right? Home stretch.

[Unknown Speaker 1]

Okay, then.

[Brian Green]

I think we might have to take a break from Paulie for a while. Just because I don't know that we can handle Paulie's absolute horseshit for too much longer. He's a train wreck. Oh, my God. Is this craziness or what? All right, Paulie, couch cushions. Coming up, last video. How to get a girlfriend without being a simp. Okay, this is going to be a good one. I could tell how to get a.

[Unknown Speaker 2]

Girlfriend in 2025 without simping. Snapjack. Why teach you how to math? Like comment, Share the video, subscribe to the channel. If you don't do anything else so you can get more later. Don't be a hater. Don't be a simp or a pimp. Let me show you guys that actually want to be in a. Oh, he's.

[Brian Green]

Good at rhyming, I'll give him that.

[Unknown Speaker 2]

The relationship in 2025. Exactly how to do so.

[Brian Green]

He's got a different camera angle every single time he turns it on.

[Unknown Speaker 1]

And now he's got headphones. Or now he's got AirPods in.

[Brian Green]

Yeah.

[Unknown Speaker 2]

Let me break down the 2025 rules. To get in the girl your dreams is here that treats you, respects you, and loves on. So number one, you got to build confidence. You're never going to be with a woman if you're not ten times more confident than her where she feels she can lead to your excessive confidence. No girl wants a man who's not confident. Fix your finances, your fitness, everything in control, structured, ready to handle business. Okay. A girl wants a man that walks with his fucking chest out, in control of the room. Creates relationships because of the attitude he walks around with. That's what a woman wants. Number two, let her impress and qualify for you. Stop trying to impress and show.

[Brian Green]

Stop trying to impress her. Impress for you.

[Unknown Speaker 1]

But I thought the guy was supposed to be confident and with his chest.

[Brian Green]

Out, as many of these puas will do. It's one thing one second, the next thing, the next minute we heard your.

[Unknown Speaker 2]

Weakness and that you're dying to have her. You'll never have her, right? Who gets a job at a job? The guy that asks the questions and does the interview.

[Brian Green]

Who gets a job at a job? Job.

[Unknown Speaker 1]

Wise words.

[Brian Green]

Never. I've never heard a better sentence in my life. It is what it is. Who gets a job at a job? I'm holding space for that getting to.

[Unknown Speaker 2]

This little while and the guy that's trying to impress or the one who's doing the interviewing and not trying to press. Right. You're getting hired by the guy that doesn't care. Right? You're trying to impress. Let her qualify herself to you. Ask the questions on the date. Let her run and open her mouth. Let her try to impress yourself. Ask questions, Stay calm, stay quiet. Stay in control. Show power and dominance in a respectful manner.

[Brian Green]

Respectful manner. Show power and dominance.

[Unknown Speaker 2]

She will walk herself into your arms. But when you're too eager to tell her about your life, you're going to be gone, bro. Stop trying to tell her everything. Let her find out. Show walk. You've done the work.

[Brian Green]

Show walk. Talk, eat. Don't do it, do it. I don't care. Get the job. You don't have the job. Forget about it. Let him impress you. Let her impress me. Order the vegetables, don't eat the meat. You know what I'm saying, Chrissy? This is how you get a girl 20, 25 without being a simple.

[Unknown Speaker 2]

Girls don't want potential. They want.

[Brian Green]

Show your ambition, but not too much. Let her impress you, you impress her. Don't show too much ambition. Shut your mouth. Get the job. Do the work. Chest out, chest in. Up, down, left, right. I know what I'm saying.

[Unknown Speaker 2]

Direction. They want to see that you have ambition towards. The direction if you actually show.

[Brian Green]

I have ambition toward many directions, but mainly east. I don't know why. I've always felt really partial to east and that's why my ambition is in the east.

[Unknown Speaker 2]

You have a plan and you're activ after it. That's what they want. Is that a drug? Ambition?

[Unknown Speaker 1]

Drug counting?

[Brian Green]

It's the back of a casino. He's showing people counting stacks of dollars.

[Unknown Speaker 2]

Talking about who you're going to become. You don't need to be rich, you need to be hungry. Showing you ready to die for the plan that you have and actually taking action on it.

[Brian Green]

What? Why am I? What?

[Unknown Speaker 1]

I don't know.

[Brian Green]

I like this podcast, but I'm not ready to die for it. Maybe that's why Astrid is not all that interested in anything I have to say anymore. Okay.

[Unknown Speaker 2]

They want a man with goals. Purpose, driven. Don't talk about your goals. Live them and show her you're going towards something. A man that's on a mission is a man that girls want. Not a man that's supposedly good looking. Not a man who's rich. The Lambo. We want the driven.

[Brian Green]

The Lambo. Because I don't have one.

[Unknown Speaker 2]

Savage, man. That's what a woman wants.

[Brian Green]

The lambo. Toyota Camry, 1996. It's in mom's name, but I'm gonna buy it from her pretty soon because I got ambition toward my direction.

[Unknown Speaker 2]

Number four. Run the relationship from the first text from setting up the first date. You should be in lead. A woman will never be with you. If you just.

[Brian Green]

7:30 bar, meet me. Which one? Don't ask questions.

[Unknown Speaker 1]

You'll find out later.

[Brian Green]

Figure it out. Show ambition. I'm gonna give that. I'm sending one to Astrid for our next date night. Like 7:30 dinner. Figure it out.

[Unknown Speaker 2]

Be there.

[Brian Green]

Be there. 7:30 dinner. Make a reservation. Don't tell me. I'll figure it out.

[Unknown Speaker 2]

I take the lead. Never mind. Stay with you. You can't show up and take lead and then falter in the relationship. You cannot not take lead and get into a relationship. I see so many single men out here. Nobody. Because they don't know what the Vulcan.

[Unknown Speaker 1]

That's where Goldie is.

[Brian Green]

He's tech. He's got his finger on the pulse of Hoboken. Which we have a lot of listeners actually love you Hoboken. Look out for this guy.

[Unknown Speaker 2]

They're doing and they're not dating on a high quality. All I need is one girl. I hear guys say all the time, I just need one. But you can't get one. And if you have one, she disrespects you. You're settling for someone disrespect you. Most relationships I see are horrible because the guy just getting disrespected and the girl doesn't like the guy. Because these guys out here are weak. Subscribe to the video, guys. Come on. Hit that like, button. Smash that John for me.

[Unknown Speaker 1]

So smash that.

[Brian Green]

What John, I think you said. What does that mean? The toilet. What are we doing?

[Unknown Speaker 1]

Flush that toilet.

[Brian Green]

Smash that Porta Potty for me. Wham, bam. Wham, bam. Take a shit. Yes, ma'. Am. Let's go.

[Unknown Speaker 2]

Seven o'. Clock. I can be ready when I get out of work. Seven o'. Clock. Drinks. Talk quiet. Speak easy. Wear a red dress.

[Brian Green]

Drinks. Talk. Don't say anything.

[Unknown Speaker 1]

Wear a red dress.

[Brian Green]

Speak easy. Be quiet. Don't talk. Air conditioning at 73. It's an Uber ride.

[Unknown Speaker 2]

Thursday. I'm free during the day. We could do a quick workout. Come around 3 o'.

[Brian Green]

Clock.

[Unknown Speaker 2]

We had a little gym shark outfit. I saw you on Instagram wearing. Cute man. Girls love that when you talk.

[Brian Green]

That when you tell them what to wear to the gym. For our first date, meet me at the gym. I don't know, maybe it's the kind of girl that I'm dating, but most of if I said meet me at the gym at 7:30 for a date, they'd be like, ah, we're not.

[Unknown Speaker 2]

Nothing to think about. Saturday we're gonna start early. I got something to do with the boys. Later before.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, he's getting sleepy. It's coming on now.

[Unknown Speaker 2]

It's casual. Jeans and a nice top, no heels. We're just going to the pier. Nice sharp color.

[Brian Green]

Exactly. Yeah, we're going all the way to the pier. I guess that's the thing in Hoboken. You go to the pier, what the.

[Unknown Speaker 2]

Rest of her life is going to look like. They're turned on by that masculine energy. Makes feminine relax. You need to put her in a feminine by you massively being in your masculine and owning it. Let her lean into it and then the relationship will escalate. Massively fucking escalate and including that. Don't rush commitment. You lock it down after two days because you think she's cute. You just know. It's all you can get. It's all you've had in a while. You want to have consistent sex so you break your manhood. You need to be complete with yourself and be you first and be able to be happy with yourself. So fulfillment self that you don't need anyone else and that's when she'll want you.

[Brian Green]

Well that is the only piece of advice that Paulie Couch Cushions has ever given us that we've heard that actually makes sense.

[Unknown Speaker 1]

You do be happy with yourself.

[Brian Green]

Be happy with yourself before you can lend that happiness to someone else or make somebody else happy. So good for you Paulie for recognizing that. I'll call a spade a spade. That was a good piece of advice.

[Unknown Speaker 2]

Minimum a year. I know influencers that do two years. And then I know most of you guys do two days, two weeks. You don't know a girl in two days.

[Brian Green]

I know influencers who wait two years. I don't know have a relationship two weeks.

[Unknown Speaker 2]

Make her wait. Make her qualify herself. Make her make a mistake. Find out who she is when you give it to her quick, too quick. She's going to change on you quick. When you make her wait and you give them the rope to hang on and you wait. Eventually she's going to make a mistake. And if she doesn't and if she doesn't keep up. But it's way more likely that she won't when she.

[Brian Green]

What was that sound like a lightsaber. Oh, this is so good. This is so good.

[Unknown Speaker 2]

Put through these hoops because she knows you're just not some guy to wife anything up.

[Brian Green]

And that's what I think.

[Unknown Speaker 1]

It's like a motor outside.

[Brian Green]

It's a motor. Is it a dog growling? I don't know.

[Unknown Speaker 2]

Attractive to her. When you just give in like any guy ever. It's just a turn off man. And it's not what they want. You need to be hard to get. You need to be act like you don't need a relationship relationship. But you're better off with one. But she can never.

[Brian Green]

Nothing says. Nothing says I'm ready for a commitment. Like telling a girl you're not ready for commitment. This is the dumb. This is dumb.

[Unknown Speaker 1]

Yeah.

[Unknown Speaker 2]

Know that you need to be sure.

[Brian Green]

These are games. He's playing games with women. And I. There are probably plenty of people out there who will play these games with you. But are those the kind of people you want to be in long term relationships with? No, of course not. Because game relationships aren't about game playing. I mean, you know Chrissy's kind of game playing where Jeff puts her in handcuffs and throws her against the refrigerator? That's one thing. That's one kind of game. And he's playing head games. And that's a different.

[Unknown Speaker 1]

Yeah.

[Unknown Speaker 2]

Oh, masculine. Make it. Don't fucking just jump right into nothing. And then number six, don't be lazy. When you win her, when you get up, that's when the game starts. It needs to be understood that if you're growing, she grows.

[Unknown Speaker 1]

You play the game to get her and win. When you get her, that's when the game really starts.

[Brian Green]

That's when you really start with Chrissy. That's what I'm telling you.

[Unknown Speaker 2]

And Groceries gotta go. And if you don't follow those same rules, always getting in better shape, you're not getting bigger, getting more ripped. If you're not getting more ripped, you get in better fight. You're not getting more unkillable, then you're just killable. So you have to do that. That's not an option. You know, we don't.

[Brian Green]

Getting more unkillable. What are you talking about?

[Unknown Speaker 1]

Getting killable? Because if you're not, then you're killable.

[Brian Green]

This is the problem with men these days. Everybody thinks they have to be unkillable. Why we don't. We're not. There's no bears outside of our cabins. We're. We're not fighting off Tyrannosaurus rexes anymore.

[Unknown Speaker 2]

That Weak sport. If you expect her to stay in shape, have that fat little ass with a tight waist and look great, you need to be doing it as well. You need to be getting better in your business. You can't. The guy. It's so selfish when guys fall off when they get in a relationship. It's literally disgusting. Trusting. That should never be the case. You need to be escalating massively when you get into a relationship. So most men, they stop grinding, they stop leading, they stop dressing well. Everything needs to get more sexy, more.

[Brian Green]

They stop bleeding or they stop leading. Lady. Okay.

[Unknown Speaker 2]

Intimate. Grow more. Make more money. Because you're doing it for her now and yourself. This is a pack. This is now we get better together. And now we're two in one together. Relationships are beautiful, but you have to get better together forever. And that's it. You guys are always falling off. So to it. Call. Close this thing out, guys.

[Brian Green]

You guys are always falling off. You're a bunch of morons. I love you guys. You're idiots.

[Unknown Speaker 2]

2025. Your girlfriend. This is the script to get a girlfriend in 2025. Don't just take anyone. Don't just fall for anyone. She has distractions, dms non stop. You need to be the best option and the least desperate option. That's the only way you're going home with the girl you want. And I don't want lackluster relationships. I want high quality relationships with the women that we actually, actually want. Guys. And that's what we're gonna do this year. Subscribe to the channel Stack Jack. Why teach you how to Mac? I love you guys. Click the links in the description. My website, my Instagram. Go follow my own killable program. Also be in the description. Anyone that goes to my Instagram, likes comments, follows the last post, shares it to a friend and DM me to work. Copy. I'll give you a copy for 9.99 everything of four days.

[Brian Green]

If you do these 48 things, I'll give it to you for double the price it's worth, plus shipping and handling. All right.

[Unknown Speaker 1]

Whoa.

[Brian Green]

W. Wow. Okay.

[Unknown Speaker 1]

That was something.

[Brian Green]

That was a lot. That was a lot. I feel like I have to decompress.

[Unknown Speaker 1]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

I gotta tell Astron. I gotta take a nap after this one because I'm not sure. I don't know what just happened. An hour of our life just went down the hole with someone who spoke very incongruently. I think that's the best way to put it.

[Unknown Speaker 1]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

But listen. I love him. He's. He might Be a lug nut. But he's our lug nut now. Guys. Welcome to the commercial break family folly couch. Good. You have officially become part of our lore. You are our new sun. And sun setting in the west and rising in the east. We live and die and breathe by everything you say incorrectly. So there you go. Frankie, look out. We turned you in for a younger model.

[Unknown Speaker 1]

The new gen.

[Brian Green]

Yes. All right, Frankie, you better get back to making content, or you might find yourself out of a commercial break job. Just saying.

[Unknown Speaker 1]

Hey, look, find a job at the job.

[Brian Green]

Who gets the job at the job? He does, because he. He's there. He showed up. We've got 80 videos of this guy. We could go on forever. We could do this for the next four years. I hope we don't, but we could go out for the next three.

[Unknown Speaker 1]

Oh, no.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. We got to take a little break after this one. Three videos in a row is a lot.

[Unknown Speaker 1]

That was.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. I don't know how people go down a rabbit hole with him, and I don't know. I don't know that he's giving anything that like. Of value.

[Unknown Speaker 1]

No.

[Brian Green]

What would you get out of these videos?

[Unknown Speaker 1]

Something for $9.99.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. Something for $9.99. If you share and follow and subscribe and like and comment. Plus, thank God we don't make you do that. But because we don't make you do that, we also don't have any followers, subscribers, or listeners. True. A true story. All right, let's do this. Why don't you text us 212-4333, tcb 212-433-3822. Questions, comments, concerns, content, ideas. We take them all right there at that phone number. We love to hear from you. We love interacting with everybody. So many new folks have been texting us over the last couple of weeks. Thank you very much. I think I've gotten back to everybody so far. Talk to us. Do it also. Oh, I have a few voicemails I want to play at the commercial break on Instagram, TCB podcast on tick tock, YouTube.com the commercial break, and tcbpodcast.com for all the audio, video, and your free sticker. Okay, Chrissy, that's all I can do for today.

[Unknown Speaker 1]

I think so I'll tell you that I love you. I love you.

[Brian Green]

Best to you. Best to you out there on the podcast, you know, universe. Until next time, Chrissy and I will say. We do say, and we must say goodbye.

[Chris Hoadley]

Hi, I'm Kristen Bell, and if you know my husband Dax, then you also know he loves shopping for a car. Selling a car? Not so much.

[Brian Green]

We're really doing this, huh?

[Chris Hoadley]

Thankfully, Carvana makes it easy. Answer a few questions, put in your VIN or license and done. We sold ours in minutes this morning and they'll come pick it up and pay us this afternoon.

[Brian Green]

Goodbye Truckee.

[Chris Hoadley]

Of course, we kept the favorite.

[Unknown Speaker 2]

Hello other Truckee.

[Chris Hoadley]

Sell your car with Carvana today. Terms and conditions apply.

[I]

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[Chris Hoadley]

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[Brian Green]

Save time to be crazy.