The Commercial Break
Episode: "A Literal Pain In The Butt!" (July 24, 2024)
Hosts: Bryan Green & Krissy Hoadley
Episode Overview
This episode of The Commercial Break blends its signature improv-comedy and spontaneous friendship banter with some unexpectedly heartfelt discussions about pop culture icons, health woes, and the realities of aging. Bryan and Krissy riff on the recent passing of Richard Simmons, viral internet remedies for back pain, the quirks of podcast fandom, and how being sick upends everyday life—all with their irreverent, self-deprecating charm.
Major Themes & Discussion Points
Remembering Richard Simmons and Pop Culture Losses
[01:11–07:11]
- The hosts reflect on the recent death of fitness icon Richard Simmons, alongside other notable losses like Bob Newhart and Shannon Doherty.
- Bryan tells an emotional story (paraphrased from a news article) of a woman whose life was changed by Simmons’ kindness and encouragement.
- Bryan: "Richard fucking Simmons in the 80s was, like, one of the most popular human beings on Earth. And then he's calling your phone...your rotary telephone." [05:27]
- Discussion about the "Finding Richard Simmons" podcast and society's curiosity about people who step away from fame.
- The hosts affirm Simmons’ reputation for kindness and reflect on how people want closure when beloved figures disappear from the spotlight.
- Krissy: "It didn't really...like, they did find him, but it wasn't really like a satisfying, huge answer. It was more just like he didn't want to." [06:46]
- Bryan draws a parallel between Simmons’ disappearance and the public's need for emotional connection and reassurance.
Getting Older: Health Woes and “A Literal Pain In The Butt”
[07:13–14:47]
- Bryan transitions from discussing aging celebrities to his own “pain in the butt”—literally—sharing a comedic, yet relatable journey through physical therapy, Instagram medical ads, and DIY self-massage attempts.
- Bryan: "I'm a literal pain in my own ass. No one likes ass pain." [09:48]
- He describes falling victim to an Instagram ad for a device promising to relieve sciatic pain, but balking at the $200 price tag.
- Instead, he tries massaging the area himself—describing in vivid, hilarious detail how this makes him feel both old and desperate, but ultimately cures the pain overnight.
- Bryan: "I woke up this morning, almost fell the fuck out of bed because that muscle was so released..." [13:25]
- The conversation veers to geriatric remedies, yoga “throat dives,” and the endless rabbit hole of dubious online solutions.
Internet “Gurus” and Odd Remedies
[14:48–17:55]
- Bryan introduces “Strider Sphere”, a young, hippy internet health influencer advocating for “throat dives” as a healing technique.
- The hosts listen and attempt the “throat dive” technique, erupting into laughter and noting the bizarre variety of online health advice.
- Bryan (imitating Strider): "All I managed to do was scare the dog...One of my kids was like, 'What are you doing?' and I said, 'I'm doing my throat dives.'" [17:05]
- Reflection on how internet “experts” range from doctors to self-proclaimed healers, each with wildly different remedies.
The TCB “Family”: Christina’s Rising Fan Base & Interactions with Listeners
[19:04–21:43]
- Christina (their “hype woman/producer”) delivers a sassy liner, followed by Bryan and Krissy noting her increasing fan presence.
- The pair discuss shifts in show feedback—Bryan humorously claims he’s the “punching bag” character but is glad Christina is getting love.
- Bryan: "Now, all of a sudden, we're starting to get, like, Christina fans. Yeah...they think that's... Sometimes people just respond to a Christina liner." [20:22]
- Krissy and Bryan joke about starting a behind-the-scenes segment or Patreon for Christina’s gossip.
“If You Know, You Know”: Social Media Lingo and Generational Divide
[22:17–25:01]
- The “if you know, you know” social media trend is hotly debated. Bryan dislikes its exclusivity and condescension, while acknowledging the other side.
- Krissy: "Generally, it does sound condescending...Clickish." [23:59]
- Bryan laments being called "cheugy" by some listeners for his opinions on internet slang.
Sick Days, Relationship Dynamics, and Life with The Ick
[25:35–31:57]
- Krissy shares her battle with a mysterious illness—endless cough, fatigue, negative COVID tests. She describes being cared for by her partner and “calling in” to the show.
- The duo discuss what sick days look like as adults, the frustrations of persistent illness, and the unpredictability of summer viruses.
- Bryan: "I'm trying to keep it a little bit, like, not so silly. So you don't laugh so hard." [27:34]
- Krissy recounts the doctor visits, medications (steroids, antibiotics), and lack of sleep due to coughing fits.
Kids, Playing, and Parental Guilt
[33:26–41:47]
- The conversation moves to parenthood—how Bryan insists on playing with his kids despite aches, and Astrid (his partner) warns him about burnout.
- Bryan: "I can't stop being a dad just because I have a little back pain." [39:04]
- Bryan: "If you don’t take care of your back, they’ll have less dad for less period of time..." [40:02]
- Krissy tells of mustering energy to visit the Atlanta Aquarium with her nephews, crawling through tunnels despite her illness, equating it to “picking up more disease.”
Fun at the Atlanta Aquarium
[35:41–38:48]
- The hosts reminisce about past visits to Atlanta’s renowned aquarium (giant tanks, whale sharks, beluga whales, themed nights, kids' curiosity).
- Krissy: "We saw literally everything. They wanted to see a polar bear, but that was...No, you're not gonna see a polar bear." [37:41]
- Both admit to acting like kids at heart, even in public, and the blurred line between “adulting” and play.
Podcast Needs, Listener Support, and Wrapping Up
[42:06–44:38]
- The hosts facetiously request a luxury van, private plane, and chef for the show, joking about one listener offering financial support (that never materialized).
- Krissy and Bryan recap the whirlwind of news and personal drama, tease upcoming TCB Live events, and wrap things up with gratitude for their fans.
- Bryan: "If anybody...works at a Mercedes dealership or a nice van dealership. Can you send over like a...van customized with televisions and a cooler and a toilet and all that other stuff?" [42:07]
Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments
-
On Richard Simmons’ Kindness
"He would help people. He’d send them free videotapes. He’d check in on them. Like, can you imagine…then he’s calling your phone…your rotary telephone." – Bryan [05:27] -
On Back Pain Remedies
"I woke up this morning, almost fell the fuck out of bed because that muscle was so released..." – Bryan [13:25] -
On Wellness Influencers
"All I managed to do was scare the dog...One of my kids was like, 'What are you doing?' and I said, 'I'm doing my throat dives.'" – Bryan [17:05] -
On Being the Show’s Punching Bag
"I’m the punching bag of the show, which is fine. That’s the character…just like life in real life." – Bryan [20:17] -
On Parenting While in Pain
"Fathers share their love and their intimacy with children through play. That’s how it is. And thank God that I do love to play with those kids." – Bryan [39:09] -
On Social Media Slang
"Generally, it does sound condescending...Clickish." – Chrissy [23:59] -
On Aquariums and Acting Like a Kid
"So I did the same thing where I was crawling on the floor. Just...being a kid, Chrissy." – Bryan [38:41]
Key Timestamps
- 01:11–07:11 – Richard Simmons' life & legacy, media reflections
- 07:13–14:47 – Bryan’s saga with butt/hip/back pain
- 14:48–17:55 – Internet health advice, “Strider” and throat dives
- 19:04–21:43 – Listener feedback, Christina’s rising role
- 22:17–25:01 – Debating "if you know, you know" and cringe slang
- 25:35–31:57 – Krissy's “sick week,” medicine & relationship dynamics
- 33:26–41:47 – Parenting, playing with kids, balancing fun & health
- 35:41–38:48 – Atlanta Aquarium adventures
- 42:06–44:38 – Show's comic wish list, asking for support
- 44:39–End – Closing banter and gratitude
Tone & Takeaways
The tone is playful, self-aware, and shamelessly relatable—equal parts dark humor and genuine warmth. The banter covers deep empathy (for both icons and each other), the pain of aging, the absurdity of viral health claims, and the reality that friendship and laughter are the best therapies.
For New Listeners
This episode is quintessential Commercial Break: silly, rambling, and honest, with moments of sincere connection and plenty of laughs. Whether you’re here for pop culture hot takes, old-school friendship comedy, or just want to eavesdrop on two people who can turn “ass pain” and pop icons into podcast gold, you’ll feel right at home.
Best to you out there in the podcast universe. Until next time, Bryan & Krissy always say, do say, and we must say goodbye. Check your patty!