A Pampered Travel Princess

Summary

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The Commercial Break – “A Pampered Travel Princess”

Episode Date: June 19, 2024
Hosts: Brian Green & Krissy Hoadley

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Episode Overview

In this lively improv-comedy episode, longtime best friends Bryan and Krissy riff on the newly viral “travel princess” trend, swap their usual candid life updates, and hilariously dissect relationship dynamics as they relate to travel, parenting, and entitlement. With trademark chaotic energy and self-deprecating wit, they weave stories about near-disasters, argue about overpacking, and embrace the lighter side of letting your partner handle all the vacation planning.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. “I’m Not Accepting Criticism at This Time”

[00:00 – 00:40]

• Bryan jokes about his personal slogan for 2024: "I'm sorry, I'm not accepting criticism at this time."
  • “You scratched my car. I’m sorry, I’m not accepting criticism.” – Bryan
• Both hosts acknowledge the tongue-in-cheek toxicity of this mindset but agree it’s too fun to give up.

2. Parenting, “Crazy Hour,” and the Water Dilemma

[01:24 – 08:00]

• Bryan discusses the challenges of parenting young kids, especially the notorious “crazy hour” before bed (paralleled with puppies' “witching hour”).
  • “Everything is an argument, everything is a fight. Every parent will resonate with this.” – Bryan [04:17]
• They joke about using kid melatonin during travel emergencies and the eternal kid-bedtime struggle over water, leading to accidents and parental blame.
  • “It’s just like those damn boo boos. They have a boo boo, but there’s clearly no boo boo there. …You put the boo boo on because you don’t want your kid to grow up and think, ‘I had a bunch of boo boos and my daddy never took care of me.’” – Bryan [06:33]

3. Bryan Gets (Almost) Hit by a Car

[08:02 – 12:45]

• Bryan recounts, with comedic exaggeration, a recent incident where he was nearly hit by a car while walking to Starbucks, describing his “catlike reflexes” and the driver’s distracted apology.
  • “In my mind, I was like in Grand Theft Auto, jumping over the hood of a car. I probably looked like Biden doing the Juneteenth dance.” – Bryan [10:17]
• Krissy expresses concern; Bryan milks the drama for all it’s worth (“I could’ve died!”).
• The importance of sun visors, driving cautions, and not throwing someone’s life into chaos over a minor, non-injurious accident are mused over with typical irreverence.

4. Past Collisions: The McDonald’s Late-Night Incident

[12:49 – 17:04]

• Bryan recalls a long-ago episode where he accidentally hit a pedestrian with his car’s side mirror near a McDonald’s, leading to a run-in with police but no lasting harm.
  • “I should have kept my mouth shut on that one.” – Bryan [16:01]
• The story is told with hindsight embarrassment and self-mockery.

5. The Travel Princess Trend: What Does It Mean?

[21:06 – 36:00]

• Introduction to the concept: A “travel princess” is someone in a relationship who does nothing but “show up” for trips—every detail is planned by the other partner.
  • “If you’re the person who just shows up, maybe occasionally carries some luggage, and then everything else is taken care of… you are the travel princess in that relationship. Enjoy it!” – Bryan [36:01]
• Krissy admits she usually does all the trip planning and even partial packing for her partner, Jeff.
  • “I like it because I want to find cool things and have Jeff be like, ‘This is the best! That’s so fun!’” – Krissy [24:44]
• Bryan totally accepts his “travel princess” role, calls himself “a pampered asshole,” and sees no shame in it as it keeps domestic (and travel) harmony.
  • “Why would I die on that hill? Why in the world would I get in the middle? …I could be a travel princess. That’s okay. I’m a princess in so many other parts of my life.” – Bryan [31:04, 32:30]
• Both dissect their overpacking tendencies and justify packing for every weather and event “just in case.”

6. Packing, Planning, and Relationship Roles

[25:07 – 36:00]

• They candidly review how travel duties have naturally divided:
  • Krissy plans “planes, trains, ferries, hotels, everything.”
  • Jeff is being “tested” to plan their next big trip; Krissy confesses she’s worried about “relinquishing control.”
• Conversation turns to overpacking, suitcase sizes, and the drama of airline baggage fees.

7. Travel Misadventures: Paris with Astrid

[39:32 – 51:24]

• Bryan tells the story of his first “big” trip with Astrid to Paris—letting her plan every detail.
  • The much-hyped hotel with a "view of the Eiffel Tower" proves disappointing: tiny, outdated, stains on carpet, beds pushed together.
  • Bryan diplomatically wrangled an upgrade but ended up in a makeshift “suite” (two rooms joined), eventually switching hotels for their engagement.
  • They laugh about the unpredictabilities of international travel and the perils of trusting online hotel photos.
  • “Anything can look good with a little touch up on the photo, right?” – Bryan [49:46]

8. The Art of Giving Up Control

[31:04 – 33:47, 36:21 – 36:39]

• Both agree: every long-term relationship has “lanes”—some things you cede control over for peace and efficiency.
  • “You learn there are lanes that you stay in and there are hills that you die on. And some you just don’t die on, there’s no reason to argue.” – Bryan [31:04]
• Krissy tries to learn to “let Jeff take the reins” for their next trip, resisting the urge to micromanage.
• “If you’re going to give him the reins, let him take the reins.” – Bryan [33:29]

9. Special Announcements & Podcast News

[52:29 – 54:21]

• TCB Live dates announced: Tampa & Orlando, September 25 and 26.
• Merch drop coming soon. Listeners encouraged to check the website and reach out if they plan to attend live shows.

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Memorable Quotes & Notable Moments

• Bryan’s 2024 Motto:
  “I’m sorry, I’m not accepting criticism at this time.” [00:00]
• On Surviving the Car “Accident”:
  “In my mind, it was the coolest thing that ever happened. In everyone else’s mind, that old man just got hit.” – Bryan [10:17]
• On Travel Roles:
  “I’m a travel princess. As I will repeat as I am in much of my life. I am an entitled human being, and I’m entitled to have my trips planned for me.” – Bryan [36:02]
• On Packing:
  “I pack three underwears per day…We went to Spain for a month last year…I had to bring my Volkswagen sized pocket pussy just in case.” – Bryan [26:44, 27:08]
• On Relationship Wisdom:
  “There are lanes that you stay in and there are hills that you die on. Some you just don’t die on.” – Bryan [31:04]
• On Letting Go:
  “If you’re going to give him the reins, let him take the reins.” – Bryan [33:29]

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• 00:00 – 00:40: Bryan’s “not accepting criticism” monologue; intro to “travel princess.”
• 01:24 – 08:00: Parenting woes, crazy hour, water at bedtime.
• 08:02 – 12:45: The Starbucks walk “near-miss” car incident.
• 12:49 – 17:04: Bryan’s late-night McDonald’s run and accidental collision.
• 21:06 – 36:00: Deep-dive into “travel princess” roles, travel planning, and packing.
• 39:32 – 51:24: Paris trip misadventure; the pitfalls of trusting online hotel booking.
• 52:29 – 54:21: Show announcements, live dates, merch drop.

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Tone and Atmosphere

• Irreverent, self-aware, teasing.
• Bryan leans into self-deprecation, Krissy is game for bit-driven storytelling and gently pokes fun at relational dynamics.
• The hosts’ banter is fast, friendly, and occasionally wanders to absurd tangents (swingers resorts, packing pocket pussies, hotel stains…).

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Summary Takeaway

If your idea of vacation is showing up at the gate while your partner juggles the passport, plans, and perfectly packed bags, congrats—you, too, may be a “travel princess.” Bryan and Krissy give you full permission to embrace it with pride, as they spin tales of the comic perils (and privileges) that come with letting someone else run the travel show…and why arguing about it may not be worth the trouble.

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For more from Bryan and Krissy, follow @thecommercialbreak on Instagram or visit tcbpodcast.com. And if you’re a travel princess or a travel planner, let them know—just don’t expect either of them to accept any criticism (at this time).

Transcript

[Brian Green]

My life changing slogan for 2024 is I'm sorry, I'm not accepting criticism at this time. Oh, you didn't put enough salt in this. I'm sorry, I'm not accepting criticism. That's a great line. You scratched my car. I'm sorry, I'm not accepting criticism. You just punched my wife. Oh, I'm so sorry. I'm not actually accepting criticism at this time. And I know there will be people listening to this going, that's quite toxic of you. And to you I say, I'm sorry, I'm not accepting criticism at this time. On this episode of the commercial break, if you're the person who just show up, maybe occasionally carries some luggage and then everything else is taken care of for, for you, you are the travel princess in that relationship.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

And enjoy it.

[Brian Green]

And enjoy it.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

It's working.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. It's a privilege, it's an honor to be a travel princess. I, I, I wear that badge with color. I love it. I think it's great. I am a travel princess. As I, I will repeat as I am in much of my life. I am an entitled human being and I'm entitled to have my trips planned for me. The next episode of the commercial break starts now. Yeah, cats and kittens, welcome back to the commercial break. I'm Brian Green. This is my dear friend and the co host of this incredibly mediocre podcast, Kristen Joy Hoadley. Best to you, Kristen.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Best to you, Brian.

[Brian Green]

Best to you out there in the podcast universe. I hope you had a nice Father's Day, all of you fathers out there.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yes. Happy Father's Day to you.

[Brian Green]

Thank you, Father. Many times over.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I know. Did you get lots and lots of presents since like 30?

[Brian Green]

Yeah, I, I, I don't know because we're recording this before Father's Day, but I would imagine I was going with it. Okay, thank you. Try to pull back the sheet just a little bit. But it's close. We're very close to Father's Day. We're just a day or two away. Yeah, I imagine I'll get like, I'll probably sleep in. That's nothing strange. I'll sleep in. That's nothing that doesn't happen almost on a daily basis. I don't sleep in really, really late. But you know, I'm a little bit later than, than Astrid and some of the kids. But you know, I always say if massage and watch a little bit of golf on Father's Day, I'll feel happy. That's a good day for me. And then I just want to play with the kids. Like, I honestly just want to have fun. I do like playing with the kids. I really do.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

They're so much fun to play with. They really are.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, they're a nightmare, you know?

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, they're a nightmare.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Okay.

[Brian Green]

Don't worry, Dez. I still want you to have kids. Des bishop.net thanks, Dez for coming in. We certainly appreciate it. Um, what did I want to say? I wanted to say that, you know, the people who have puppies will. Who have had puppies will certain this will certainly resonate with them. There's something called the witching hour, sometimes called the crazy hour, sometimes called the, like, wizzies or something. The whirlies. The wizzies.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Quantum hour.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, it's the quantum quantum hour. Throw in a little barking and some twisting and turning, shitting on the floor right before bed. It's called puppy hour. Quantum Witches has declared it puppy hour. Yeah, I call it. We call it crazy hour around here. And the kids do the exact same thing. And so here's what the scientists say about the legitimate thing called the crazy hour. Let's just call it the crazy hours. When your dog, right before bed, right before sunset, usually goes crazy. Just starts running around the house, jumping on things. The dog.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Okay. Not the kids.

[Brian Green]

Well, the kids, too. But I'm saying the dog scientists believe that they're. They're essentially fighting. That it's like that last bit of energy they're fighting, going to sleep. Yeah.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I've had plenty of dogs in my lifetime, and I don't think I've ever seen the crazy.

[Brian Green]

You've never seen crazy hour? You've never had crazy?

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I think it's a blue thing.

[Brian Green]

It's not a blue thing, that's for sure. Blue has crazy hour every hour.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

That's maybe.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, but you should, like, Google it. It's a thing, but people let people videotape it. You know, they whiz around, they go back and forth and back and forth. They bite things, they bark, they twist and turn. And it's like a physiological response to not wanting to go to sleep. They don't know how to manage that last bit of energy, so they just go crazy again.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

We're talking about the dog and not the kids.

[Brian Green]

Talking about the dog for the kids. Yeah.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Say the kids.

[Brian Green]

Yes. But I was sharing with my friend. He's. He says to me, hey, man, let's go out. We'll go grab a beer. Well, it's right during bedtime. And I'm like, listen, it's crazy hour around here because right before bed, that hour before bed those kids get nuts.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

That's what I was thinking. You were talking about the kids.

[Brian Green]

Well, I've seen that happen. Yes. And Chrissy, I can't. It's like the hour that my head just wants to explode because not only are they tired and just letting all that energy out, but I'm tired. But I'm a full ass grown man. And so for me I know how to manage that. I just lay my head on the pillow and go to sleep. For them it's like, you know, they fight it every inch, tooth and nail. Everything is an argument, everything is a fight. Every parent will resonate with this. Toddlers, small children up. You know that. You know that book Go the to sleep?

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

It's really funny.

[Brian Green]

That was written by a parent who understands where I am at, understands where I'm at. Because you're patience and your tolerance for all of that is just thrown out the window. You just had dinner, the baths are done. You just want them to go the to sleep but they won't do it. And I don't understand how I get them to go to sleep. So I'm going to call the doctor and ask for Xanax like I did with Blue. Is that legal? Can I give the kids Xanax?

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I don't think so.

[Brian Green]

No, it's not. Of course not.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

But they have the kid Melatonin stuff. Yeah, we emergency situations.

[Brian Green]

I'll admit there have been occasions mainly on flights or international travel when we have like a little, you know what they have whatever they call kid Melatonin on standby in case of an emergency situation. Especially when you travel international when the schedule screwed up and they're, they, I think they do better with jet lag than adults do because their body adjust really quickly and ours take a little bit of time. But I'm telling you what, it's, it is a nightmare to go to sleep. I hate that 7 to 8 o' clock hour because I just want them to go to sleep so I can get work done, watch a movie, have any peace of mind whatsoever and they go crazy. I want you to come over and you deal with it.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yeah, yeah, maybe.

[Brian Green]

I thought you're my best friend. I thought you're supposed to be with me. You are my ride or die.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I'll take a night. I will take a night.

[Brian Green]

A night. I want you to take a month's worth of nights. That's what I want. And my wife and I have some cuddle time. Alone, without children jumping up in the bed because they're scared. They're hungry. Okay, start with a night, and then I'll lock you in that room. You can take care of it. They're hungry, they're tired, they need another glass of water. I mean, how many glasses of water do you need before you go to bed?

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Well, and then they're gonna have to pee, so.

[Brian Green]

Oh, forget about it. One of the one night, one of my kids is on this water kick. I need some water. I need some more water. I need some more water. I need some more water. And so I keep giving the kid water because I think, well, part of your, part of your parenting is about what you think is right or wrong and guiding your child. And part of your parenting has to do with the guilt you feel if something should go wrong. Should you not pay attention to what they're asking you to do? So it's just like those damn boo boos. When my kid says they have a boo boo, but there's clearly no boo boo there. You put the boo boo on because you don't want, you don't want your kid to grow up and think, I had a bunch of boo boos and my daddy never took care of me. Yeah, right. And so I just keep giving the, the kid water. But I keep saying like, hey, settle down, you're going to have to pee. You're going to have to pee. You're going to have to pee. No, no, no, I'm fine, I'm fine. Let's go to the bathroom before we go to bed. No, no, no, no, I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine. Two hours later, wake up and the entire bed, it's like we're swimming in pee. The entire bed, the entire king size bed is just soaking wet. And I was like, holy, kid, you got a bladder. First of all. Second of all. And then of course, Astrid wakes up and who does she blame first? Me, because I gave the kid water.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

And I'm like, what do you want me to do? Let the kid go de. And she's like, brian, the kids live in an air conditioned house. They drink water all day long. I'm giving them juice and snacks all day long. They're not going to die if they don't have some water. And I said, but what if they do die because they didn't have water? Then I'm going to feel guilty nightmare every time. Oh, well, you know I got hit by a car today.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I know.

[Brian Green]

Isn't that insane?

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Holy. That's crazy. I mean, I walk in the door today like I just got hit by a car.

[Brian Green]

I just got hit by a car. I was taking a walk. Sometimes I go over to Starbucks and I'll walk there. It's like a two mile round trip. And so it's a nice, nice way to get the day started. I'll listen to something on the headphones. No drama, no kids asking for water, no dogs barking, none of the whizzies, none of the crazy hour. I just walk up to Starbucks and I walk back. And at one point you have to cross the street. It's not a particularly busy street, but it's also not like a side street. So they have a dead man's lane, a suicide lane in the middle, you know, one of those turning lanes. And so I look both ways like any, you know, human who's ever been on earth looks both ways before you cross the street. I look both ways, there's no cars coming either direction. And I start walking into the middle of the street to go to another street. And as I get into the dead man's lane, all of a sudden out of nowhere, some lady is pulling into the dead man's lane and she's coming at me quick. Now I say quick. It's probably only 5 or 10 miles per hour, but when you have a car coming right at you at 5 or 10 miles per hour, I mean, she came up on me quick, scary. And I didn't know what to do. And so my cat like reflexes just went into action. I put my hands on the hood and I pushed myself off to the side. And so I avoided any kind of, any kind of injury, right? I don't feel like I had any injury, thank goodness. And so I jumped. She rolls down the window, she says, I'm really sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. You know, I, I'm assuming that she was Latina because she also was saying like, lo siento, lo siento. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. And she kept on saying soul, soul, soul, like the sun, like the sun was in her eyes. And you know, part of driving during the day is the sun is going to be out. That's one of those things that you got to pay attention to. But I was clearly in the middle of the street and she came out of nowhere. She just literally came upon me. Scary, scary. So then there's a couple cars that stop. One guy is telling me to call the police and I'm like, no, no harm, no Foul. I don't know what this lady's situation is. I don't know where she lives, who she comes from, what her family is, but I don't want to ruin her life potentially over something that didn't hurt me. Right? I just told her to. I'm like, just, you got to be more careful. Like, watch where you're going. There's people walking all over these streets. In my mind, I was like in Grand Theft Auto jumping over the hood of a car. I probably look like Biden doing the Juneteenth dance. I probably look like an old man falling off his walker side. You know what I'm saying? In my mind, it was the coolest thing that ever happened. In everybody else's mind, that old man just got hit.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Oh, my God.

[Brian Green]

It was. Thank God.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yeah, thank God you're okay.

[Brian Green]

I could have died, Chrissy. I'm gonna milk this for all it's worth. I could have died. I'm gonna go out. I could have not be here right now. You should really think, you should really give me a great Father's Day gift. Yeah, I want a two hour massage.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Astrid was walking at the same time I was with groceries and things and kids. And you're telling me you almost got hit? And she's like, I. Yeah, she's getting the groceries out.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. She's like, well, I got a bag of potatoes from Costco. What do you want for lunch? She's probably thinking to herself, I was this close, this close to getting rid of him.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Oh, no.

[Brian Green]

Margarita to be Astrid. You didn't finish the job. I'm not paying you. Okay, bye. That's right. Oh, it was scary, of course.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

No, I mean you. You versus a car. A human versus a car does.

[Brian Green]

No one's winning that one. No human is winning that one. A car coming at you at any speed is. Is pretty scary. I mean, you know, people die all the time getting hit, I'm sure on slower speeds. Because what happens is, if you're not expecting it, I would imagine what I mean, luckily, out of the corner of my eye, I caught it. I stared right into it, and then I just put my hands down and just kind of jumped to the side. But, you know, you get hit and then you smack your head on the ground or something like that. Like, bad things happen all the time just like that. And I. I understand a little bit when they say, like, your life flashed before your eyes. My life flashed before my eyes. And I said to myself, well, you did the best you could. Wasn't so Great. But you did the best you could. I thought to myself, is the commercial break. All is going to be left of me in the world.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Your legacy?

[Brian Green]

My legacy is 600 hours of bad comedy. I tried though. It really was. It was very scary.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I know. Very happy you're okay.

[Brian Green]

Well, thank you, Chrissy. At least someone gives a shit about me.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I do.

[Brian Green]

You know, I hit someone with my car one time. I think I've told story here. It was a late night, was the 23rd of December. Actually was the 24th of December. So it's overnight. It's probably like one o' clock in the morning. I'd worked a shift at the restaurant. This is many years ago. Worked a shift at the restaurant. I came home and I was sharing a car with my roommate. Actually it was her car. She let me drive it. Let me. Let me be clear about that. It wasn't my car. It was her car. Let me drive it. We lived downtown. We didn't, you know, there wasn't like a ton of stuff that we needed to do with the car. So there was. We had this Saturn that sat out out front that we could, you know, whoever used it. Yeah, you just grabbed the keys and you went. So I went to sleep probably about midnight. I had left the TV on. I wake up sometime in the past one o' clock in the morning and there is a McDonald's commercial that's on right as I wake up and they're like showing a milkshake in fries, right? The. Whatever they got, the candy cane milkshake and fries. I forget what it was, but I was hungry. I had to have it. I was hungry. And I knew that the McDonald's down the street was open 24 hours a day. How did I know that? Because I probably ate there twice a day. I mean, you know, I was a kid living on. On, you know, pittance basically in the restaurant industry because I wasn't a very good waiter. And so I jump in the car and I ride down the street and there's a stoplight where I have to take a left to get to the McDonald's. So I ride down this residential street. I stop at the stoplight. This is downtown Atlanta. And when I say downtown Atlanta, it's not the nicest part of downtown Atlanta at the time. Right. It's over right near Ponce. So before the Ponce City Market and all right.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

With the revitalization, this is like right.

[Brian Green]

Next door to the police station in Atlanta was the worst possible place in Atlanta. You would think that they would like take Care of the backyard. Right. But it just. There was a lot of drama going on in that part of town, especially late at night. And so as I took the left hand turn, someone ran out in front of me, like, into the blind spot. And I hit the. Hit them with my mirror, with the side of the mirror. And the mirror actually cracked. It came off, right. So I hit them hard enough that they. That the mirror cracked. But as I pulled out and took a left and then I saw them and I tried to swerve, the mirror got cracked. I turned all the way around, busted a ue and went up on the curb, went up on the sidewalk, stopped the car, jumped out, and no one was there. She had run away, right? She. He had run away. I'm not really sure. And within two seconds, there were like, five police officers right up on me. Oh. And what had happened was one of the police officers, Two of the police officers actually had been sitting in the gas station parking lot across the street, and they had. They had seen me take the U turn and go up on the curb, but they had not seen me hit the person. So as soon as they get up on me, I got my hands up in the air, you know, everyone's getting out all, you know, crazed and, you know, Screaming, yelling, you know, and I'm like, oh, my God. You know, hands on guns. And I'm like, holy. Holy. I was just going to see if she was okay. I was just going to see if she was okay. And the officer comes up and he, you know, puts me in handcuffs. And he's like, what are you saying? And I said, I was just going to see if she was okay. And he goes, who? And I go, the lady that I hit. And he goes, what? You hit a lady?

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Wow.

[Brian Green]

And I was like, wow, I should have kept my mouth shut on that one. Well, they looked and they looked and they looked and they never found. They didn't find any blood on the street. There was no one that they ever found. You know, they. They. I was sitting in a parking lot for probably two hours while they tried to find this person that. That I had hit. And they never found them. So I. McDonald's. I know. Damn McDonald's on all that's Holy. And that was a scary thing. Like, it really was very scary to hear that noise, like, of someone hitting the car. Right? It was. It was scary. But, you know, I'm assuming everything is okay, because I probably would have heard about it had not everything been okay. But, you know, you got to be careful when you're driving. That's the bottom line.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Now you've messed up too, though. The mirror on the shared car.

[Brian Green]

Oh, yeah, that was. That was not a good day in roommate history.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

He really re cursing McDonald's.

[Brian Green]

That was not a good day in roommate history. She had to bail me out of jail. It was like a whole thing. It really was. So anyway, to the lady who hit me. God bless you, child. May you pay attention and may you.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Get a. Yeah, maybe that's what she needed to, like, you know, jog herself into really paying attention.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, she had one of those. When she rolled down the window, she had one of those sun visors on the side of her window. The kind that you stick on the window. Yeah, she had it on her driver's side window. So she had to rip it down to roll her window down. Window down. I didn't. Her window or window. Roll that window down. Roll that window down right now. Young lady, you done hit me. In my advanced age, I could have broken a hip. I think I did break a hip. Call your insurance company. I should have milked it for him some insurance money, but, you know, I should have fallen on the ground like a soccer player. I just flopped around on the ground. Yeah. Oh, my hip, my kidneys. I'm feeling pretty shitty. Take me to one of those chiropractors you see on TV. Have you been injured in a car accident? Call 111, Jay and Associates or whatever it was. Yeah, yeah, but you know, I'm not that ambulance chaser now. No harm, no foul. At the end of the day, like, why am I going to ruin somebody's life? The insurance premiums go up. Who knows what their personal situation is? You know, maybe they don't. Maybe they're not supposed to be driving. Maybe they are supposed to be driving. You know, whatever. I just didn't feel like I wanted.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Maybe she'll take that sun visor off the window.

[Brian Green]

Well, after I render. Well, you know, I'm thinking about it. Yeah, now that you. Yeah, now that I'm thinking about it, she was taking a left. She probably didn't see.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yeah, because of the visor.

[Brian Green]

I should have called the police. No, I probably could have gotten at least a thousand dollars for my troubles. Right.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

You can try and do this again tomorrow.

[Brian Green]

And then same bad time, same bad channel. I'm just going to stand there and wait until she comes out having a run out on her on the left hand side of the car so she can't see me because of her sun visor. Yeah, now that I'm thinking about it like this all just happened, by the way, within the last hour. So now that I'm thinking about it. Yeah. I guess you should not have a sun visor.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

No.

[Brian Green]

On blocking your ability to see out your.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yes.

[Brian Green]

Actual window.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

That is correct.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. Huh. Well, okay. What are you gonna do? It's all over and done with. Yeah. What am I gonna do? All right. Okay.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I'm just glad you're okay.

[Brian Green]

Thank you very much. I'm glad. I'm okay, too. So if I seem a little frazzled today, maybe not on top of my game. That's why also, you need to show.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Me how to work everything here in the studio now.

[Brian Green]

Oh, yeah. You know, I thought about that the other day. For some weird reason, I'm like, what if I just. Like, something happens to me, who's gonna actually figure out how to get to all of this stuff? I mean, Christina knows, you know, a lot of stuff, but just, you know, everything. No, she doesn't. And part of me, like, why bother telling anybody? Like, what is the value in any of this stuff anyway? Just grab the server and, you know, take it to the local. I. I don't know who those guys. The Geek Squad. Take it to the Geek Squad.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Right. Okay.

[Brian Green]

Tell them, please don't arrest anybody. There's some bad episodes on there.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

We'll talk about that.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, we'll talk about that. All right. I want to take a break, and when we get back, I got a great topic to talk for you that I think is blowing up the Internet. Right. I'd be interested to hear your opinion on this.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Okay.

[Brian Green]

And it has nothing to do with incest sex. So there you go.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

That's good.

[Brian Green]

Okay, good.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Thank you.

[Brian Green]

Thank you. We'll be back. Hi.

[Podcast Announcer]

No, you're not dreaming. And, yes, this is a new promo. See, I made you wait, and now look how happy you are. I know, I know. You're smiling. Anyway, since we're here, why don't you just hop on over to Instagram and give us a follow at the commercial break? Seriously? Please. It's getting hard for me to listen to Brian and Chrissy beg. So just follow us on instagram again. That's hecommercial break. You can also follow us on TikTok@TCB podcast. And of course, you know where to go for all things TCB. That is tcbpodcast.com, baby. And of course, you can always text us or call us and leave us a voicemail at 212-4333, TCB. Yep, that phone number is no longer new, but it is still around. And that's a win. 212-4333. TCV. Love you. Bye.

[Brian Green]

Travel princess. Have you heard the term?

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

No.

[Brian Green]

Okay. Travel princess is going around the talk and the gram and all that stuff right now. The term travel princess, I can guess what it means.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Guess the very princessy travel. You have to be pampered along the way. I don't know. It sounds.

[Brian Green]

You know, Chrissy, you're amazing.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Well, when you call somebody a princess, you know.

[Brian Green]

No, you almost got it. You almost. You're getting onto the. You're sniffing up the. The right. You're sniffing up the right light pole there. Travel princess in this regard refers to the person in the relationship who does nothing but show up at the airport and get on the plane. And the other person plans everything down to the T. And Astrid sent me. I've seen this been. This has been going around for a month or two or maybe even longer.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

But I think Jeff may be the travel princess.

[Brian Green]

Oh, I'm the travel princess.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yeah. Now that I'm thinking about. I want to be the travel princess, though.

[Brian Green]

But you're not.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

No, because I like to plan it.

[Brian Green]

Yes, that's it. See, there you go. Asher and I had this big debate yesterday because she sent me one of the reels, and she says, you are definitely the travel princess in this relationship. And I argued for about five seconds before I realized, yes, I am the travel princess. But I explained to her, listen, before you came along, I did plenty of travel, and I did fine on my own. Right. I knew how to pack a bag. I mean, poorly, but I knew how to pack a bag. I knew how to get on a plane. I knew how to show up at the airport on time. I could plan my own trips, you know, the hotel, the cab, the whatever, rent a car, whatever needed to be done. And I've been on plenty of business trips where I do my own. Well, some business trips I do on my own. Not all of them, but I said to Astrid, you like to plan this stuff. That's your thing. That's your lane. You love it. You love the ability to get in there, dig in, find the details, and plan something.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Search. Yeah.

[Brian Green]

Yes.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Compare notes.

[Brian Green]

I think there's a fundamental way. There's a fundamental difference between Astrid and I, and that is I am okay just showing up somewhere and figuring out what we do next. I don't need to necessarily have every bit of it planned out. Astra doesn't need to have every minute planned out. But if she could have a general sense of what we're going to do on a daily basis, she feels better about.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yeah, right. That's the way I feel to get the bones there.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. So you're the. So you're the person who plans everything in the relationship. And when did that start? Early on. Did Jeff cede control of the travel planning?

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I think so. Yeah, that I think.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. See? See? But I would bet if I talk to Jeff about this, Jeff would say I would be okay doing this kind of stuff. But I just like to give the control to Chrissy because I know she likes to.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Well, we just. I mean, it's very apropos that we're talking about this, because we just had this discussion yesterday because I've been the one planning all the trips and things and whatever, and I. I like it because I want to find cool things and have Jeff be like, this is the best. That's so fun. And. Yes. And we found something off the beaten path because I like to really research and look at different blogs and reviews and things about hotels and what to do in the different cities. However, this one trip that we're taking upcoming to Vancouver and the Pacific Northwest is. There's so many puzzle pieces here. Planes, trains, ferries.

[Brian Green]

Oh, really?

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Automobiles, hotels, different things. And it's really kind of stressed me out. So I know. I told. I told Jeff, I said, look, because we're. We try and take a trip in the winter, like January, February, or. And then. Or then. And also June, July, because of his. His work schedule with the festivals and all of that. Those are the two times of the year that he can get away and feel okay about it.

[Brian Green]

Okay.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

So I said, for our winter one, it's you. Here you go. This is the place I think that we want to go. And you go for it. You play.

[Brian Green]

Oh, really?

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

So I'm gonna. This is a test.

[Brian Green]

Ah. Will Jeff pass or fail the test? What grade is Jeff gonna get? I want an honest answer. Once all of the. All of the travel is concluded, I want to hear what the honest answer was. Do you pack Jeff's bag?

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Partially, yes.

[Brian Green]

This is. Jeff and I are married to the same woman. I'm sure of it. I'm sure of it.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yeah, he just doesn't do the shirts right with the roll.

[Brian Green]

I know. I don't do the shirts right, and I pack too many T shirts and, you know.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

Why do you have.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I help him whittle down the stuff.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, yeah. It's a whole fucking drama every time. So now I have Reshaped my entire packing Persona based on whether or not Astro is going to yell at me. Right. That I have too much shit. And you know what? To be fair to her, 99% of the time, I'm an overpacker. I've always been an overpacker. If I go somewhere, I am too.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

When it comes to clothes.

[Brian Green]

Yeah.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Because you don't know.

[Brian Green]

No, you never know.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

You don't know where you're going to go, whether and the situation and what you're going to need when you have to be prepared.

[Brian Green]

Yes, that's. I agree with you on this. It's worth the extra drama to lug a couple extra pounds around so that I have that thing that I need to wear. Because there's nothing like, there's nothing quite as, I guess, disappointing. It's showing up, unpacking all your stuff, then you get an invite to go somewhere. You do something and you're like, well, I don't have the right clothes for that. I don't have a nice tie to wear to dinner or I don't have a, you know, a jacket so that we can go up in the mountains. I mean, I can't tell you how frustrating that is for me. So I like to just pack just in case. And I pack three. Pack three underwears per day. And I know that's way too much. Like, we went to Spain for a month last year. We. I knew that I was going to have the access to a washer and dryer in some of the places that we went. There would be places throughout the month where I would be able to stop and wash clothes.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

So that made me a little less nervous. I knew that I would be able to at least clean the clothes so I could recycle them a little bit. I figured if I put a week's worth of clothing in there, then that would be good. But a week's worth of clothing for all situations. Hot, cold, swingers resort. I wanted to make sure it was all there, you know, raining. Yes, raining. I had to bring my Volkswagen sized pocket pussy just in case, you know, I had to do a whole thing. I had to make sure.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Swingers resort. You don't need clothes. That was light.

[Brian Green]

I'm telling you what. I am telling you what. I would love to go experience that just for one weekend. Not that I wanted to get involved necessarily, but I would just like to be there.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Right.

[Brian Green]

That's the one regret that I have about being married. And this. I have no regrets about being married, but I have one regret. That I didn't do when I, like when I wasn't married. And that is go to one of those, like, hedonism or something like that just to check it out, just to see what it's all about. Because I have friends who have gone.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Where they were down in Jamaica where we just were. And they had those boats that would come by.

[Brian Green]

The Hedonism.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yeah. And all the Jamaican staff that we were talking to and made friends with while we were there, they said, oh, yeah, the naked boat.

[Brian Green]

Boat. The naked.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

The naked boat comes by. Everybody loves to look.

[Brian Green]

Chrissy. I have had friends who have gone there and they're like, twice as wild as you think it would be. Twice as wild as you think it would be. And I was like, it's named hedonism. I'm. I have a pretty clear thought in my mind about what it is.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Exactly.

[Brian Green]

There's a bunch of dicks and vaginas out there just going at it. Yeah. Oh, the Jacuzzi at midnight. You know, go to the. I. I don't know where the. The palm bushes and behind him. And one of my friends said it was literally a fest the entire time.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Marlin.

[Brian Green]

Well, Marlin went. Yeah, yeah. Marlon went, but he went with his then girlfriend. I. I think. I wish I had a marlin update for us. I really do. Maybe I'll see if I can dig one up. But I. I think that our part of his problem in his. That relationship was the commercial, because, you remember, I think she got on. I think she caught on. Yeah. But, yeah. So I pack for a week when we're going to Spain.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Well, plenty of people I think that are. That go to. Those two are married to hedonism and stuff like that. Well, I mean, swingers. Isn't that really kind of you. You're swinging, you got a partner, you're gonna switch partners.

[Brian Green]

Yes. I think there are swingers you need.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

To work on Astrid, is what I'm saying.

[Brian Green]

I know, because. No, no, she's my forever girl. You don't take your forever girl to go get by somebody else. You know what I'm saying?

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Okay.

[Brian Green]

Take your girlfriend who's a little wild on the side. 30s. That's what you do. That's what you do. You go there when you have that partner who's just willing to try anything.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Right.

[Brian Green]

And you. And. And because they are willing to try anything, they're certainly not your forever, but they're. You're okay for right now. And you go, well, if I'm gonna do this with anybody, I'M gonna do it with this one because she's crazy. But I don't think. No, that's just not style. No.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

All right, well, you've missed the boat. The naked boat, if you will.

[Brian Green]

Get on the naked bus. Get on the naked bus.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

You know, you kind of got a taste of things at the party in the woods.

[Brian Green]

That is definitely as close as I've ever come. Yes.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

It was skirting the edges.

[Brian Green]

I did have a 10 person golf cart one night riding around and everyone was completely naked. I mean, it was insane.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

You had a brush.

[Brian Green]

I had a fresh. With hedonism.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yes.

[Brian Green]

But back to my travel princess. I'm a travel princess. No doubt about it. Astrid plans everything. She plans everything. And she does it really well. So.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Well, that's the thing.

[Brian Green]

Why bother?

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I think you have to kind of give up control. Because, I mean, if two. If two of you are trying to do it at the same time and the same thing.

[Brian Green]

Too many cooks in the kitchen.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Too many.

[Brian Green]

Too many cooks in the kitchen.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

One person just has to kind of take the reins.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. So I do in some sense that the tail is wagging the dog in some sense, because I just. She comes to me and she says, okay, on the 3rd, we're gonna do this. And then on the 5th, we're going over here. And then on the 10th, we're staying at this hotel. What do you think?

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yeah, I do the same thing with Jeff. I'm like, do you like this? Here's pictures and things of the hotel. What do you like this one or that one? Yeah, I'll get his input. But for the most part, one of.

[Brian Green]

The things that I think has been a real plus in my relationship with Astrid, and I'm sure Jeff would agree with this, and probably a lot of, you know, men or women understand this feeling, is that when you get to a certain point in your life, when you've had a few long term relationships and you've seen the foils and the foibles and the problems that occur during relationships, you learn that there are lanes that you stay in and there are hills that you die on. And some you just don't die on, there's no reason to start a fight over this. There's no reason to argue where. Yeah, so when it comes to travel, Astrid is good at it. She's really good at planning all of those details and making sure everybody has their passports and that everything's up to date and that the paperwork is there and that we, you know, that we have the hotel reservation and the Car is ready for us when we get to this airport. She's really good at that. Why would I die on that hill? Why in the world would I get in the middle? I don't. I could be a travel princess. That's okay. I'm a princess. And so much so many other parts of my life. Why not just extend it to traveling, right? I literally am a pampered asshole. That's what I am. I'm a pampered asshole. I take the late shift. I get to sleep in an extra hour or two every single day. Sometimes my kids even bring my coffee right to my bed so that I don't even have to go anywhere. Yeah, if I tell my kids, if I say, hey, son, run and grab me my coffee, it's in the refrigerator, he will do it and he'll bring it back to me lickety.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

They love it.

[Brian Green]

It's the most. They love it. It's a chore. They did a task for Daddy. And then I say, now leave me alone while I go to the bathroom. Can we skip the morning press conference? Of course, that never happens, but okay, whatever. So I'm pampered in so many other parts of my life. Travel is just yet another place where I'm really lucky. I'm just a lucky bastard that I have someone that can do all of that for me.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yeah, mine as well. Now I'm hoping what I. What I'm trying to. To not do with Jeff taking the reins on this other trip next year is be like, have you done this? Have you found the hotel?

[Brian Green]

Yeah.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Have you. Have you looked at. Have you called your friend that lives there that said, have you done that? Have you done it? I caught myself yesterday, and I was like, okay, stop.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, okay, okay. Let this give up control. Let this serve as a celluloid reminder, a reminder that you can go back and listen to all the time. And I'll say this to Jeff while I'm. While I'm at it, if you're going to give him the reins, let him take the reins.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I have to do it.

[Brian Green]

And Jeff, if she starts getting up your skirt, you say, hey, my turn. Yeah, my turn.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yes.

[Brian Green]

I get to do it my way, and you're going to follow along and we're going to have a good time.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yes.

[Brian Green]

You won't go without a roof over your head. I promise we'll get there on time and we'll have fun things to do when we get there. That's it. That's all you need to know. You just pack. I guarantee you one thing. He's going to let you pack.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

No.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

He's gonna let you know. I don't expect him to pack for me, and I'll probably still pack half of his.

[Brian Green]

Okay. Yes.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

But everything else with the trip, with the whole planning, I'm gonna. I just have to give it up.

[Brian Green]

Do you share a suitcase?

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

No.

[Brian Green]

No. Oh, so you each do two suitcases on your own?

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yes.

[Brian Green]

Okay. See, that's where we differ. Where we differ is the suitcases. Astrid puts together one large suitcase for the both of us. If the trip is longer than four or five days. There's one large suit.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Amazing. I need to ask Astor how she does.

[Brian Green]

Well, first of all, look at the size of the suitcase. It's like the size of a small house.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Well, no, I have a big one, too.

[Brian Green]

Oh, you do? Like one of those big old rolly ones. Yeah.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

My dad was like, that should be illegal.

[Brian Green]

They are. I think you have to pay extra for them.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

I can't tell you how many times we have had to pay that extra whatever. $20. Because. Over limit. Because it's like 5 pounds over limit or 2 pounds. Pounds. But there's just. At some point, you just go, okay, whatever. We're gonna pay the $20. But she does manage to get both of our.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

That's amazing.

[Brian Green]

Now, a lot of times, we'll have an extra smaller bag with just shoes in it. It's like the just shoes. But the difference between your travel and my travel is that I also have to carry seven other suits.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I was gonna say. Yeah, that's why.

[Brian Green]

That's right.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Because there is a bag limit.

[Brian Green]

There is one per. Two per. Whatever it is. So.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

And with all the 30 kids, it's a lot.

[Brian Green]

Everyone gets their own suitcase. You know, they have their own little suitcase.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I know.

[Brian Green]

And they get so excited about packing them, too. Like, 10 days before we're going to my dad's for, like, one night, and they're already packing. I know.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I know. Your son came in here. He had the suitcase. Daddy, I, I, I, I packed my underwear.

[Brian Green]

Okay. We're going in August, but okay. All right. He's really cute. Fine. No problem. Yeah. Listen, Travel princess is a thing. You can go on Instagram or Tick Tock. You can just, you know, put that in Travel princess. And you'll see a lot of examples of people talking about why they are travel princesses. And it just basically boils down to this. If you're the person who just shows up, maybe occasionally carries some luggage, and then everything Else is taken care of for. For you. You are the travel princess in that relationship. Enjoy it and enjoy it.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

It's working.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. It's a privilege. It's an honor to be a travel princess. I. I wear that badge with color. I love it. I think it's great. I am a travel princess, as I will repeat as I am in much of my life. I am an entitled human being, and I'm entitled to have my trips planned for me.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I think it's something, too, about wanting to know that it's done right like that actually, everything's gonna be taken care of.

[Brian Green]

Okay.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

And in time.

[Brian Green]

Okay. All right. Are you saying that Jeff or me might not get that done? Should it be in our hands know? Okay, well.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Well, that's to be seen. We will. Jeff will be.

[Brian Green]

Has Jeff never planned a trip in your entire relationship?

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I mean, he's planned, but, you know, like a trip to the mountains or something. But in the cabin, you want to.

[Brian Green]

Go to the mountain?

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yeah. But mostly, yeah, it has been me.

[Brian Green]

We'll call the hotel. On the way up there, I was watching some show, and the girl was pregnant, and the. The. You know, they had, like, a baby, like one of these reality shows. Maybe it was seven little Johnsons or something, but they were having a baby shower. And after the baby shower, after everything's settled, it's just the couple, the girl who's pregnant and her boyfriend. And he says, hey, I got a special surprise for you. And she's like, oh, what's that? And he goes, I want to take you on a baby moon. And she goes, oh, my God. That's so sweet. Where are we going? He goes, well, wherever you want to, really. And I was like. I would get punched in the face. Wherever you want to. You plan it. And then we're gonna go.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

We're going.

[Brian Green]

We're going.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

No time taking you on a trip where. Wherever you want to go.

[Brian Green]

Wherever you want to go. Go get my credit card out and just start typing away. Wherever. Wherever you plan the trip for. That'll be great. I can at least do that. I can at least find the hotels. I can figure that part out. But then when it comes to a certain level of detail. Yeah, I agree that Astrid should be doing that stuff for us on behalf of the family.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Right.

[Brian Green]

Because there are bigger stakes. I mean, not that. Not that anyone is more. Less important than anyone else, but there are larger things at stake when you have children. Like, you can't be standing in front of a hotel for seven hours. Yes. Trying to Figure out exactly when they're gonna have the room ready and. Or is this actually the hotel that we booked?

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Right.

[Brian Green]

Yes. And I'll tell you a funny story about the one time, the first time that Astrid booked a trip for us. I'll tell you a funny story, but let's do this. Let's take them. Let's take a break, and we'll be back. No, wait. Hold on one second. Not yet.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Not yet.

[Brian Green]

Oh, and then I have some exciting news at the end of the.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Oh.

[Brian Green]

At the end of the episode, so stay tuned.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Okay, I will. I'll stay right here.

[Brian Green]

It's gonna be the first time Chrissy finds out about it, too, so we're all gonna find out about it together. All right, I'll be back. Well, we'll be back. You and me, together.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Okay?

[Brian Green]

You plan it, and I'll tell you.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Okay.

[Brian Green]

You plan when we're coming back, and just let me know.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Okay?

[Brian Green]

All right.

[Podcast Announcer]

What's up, haters? Now, let's get down to business. If you've got something to say, say it to our faces. And by that, I mean text us or call us at 212-4333, TCB. That's 212-433-3822. You can and should also find us on Instagram at the commercial break and on TikTokCBpodcast. Unless you want to fight me, in which case, don't. And if you're just desperate to see our shining faces in person, keep your ears peeled for ticketing information about TCB Live. As always, don't forget that you can find everything you could possibly need to find on our beautiful website, tcb, podcast.com.

[Brian Green]

Bye. All right, so it is. I don't know, maybe. Astor and I have been dating for, like, six months, and she is off in Switzerland getting her master's degree, so we're really missing each other. And probably a month into her being over in Switzerland, I say, okay, I'm coming over. Right?

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I remember that.

[Brian Green]

I'm on my way. Yeah, and meet me in Geneva, and then we're gonna just kind of travel around. One of the places we're gonna go is we're gonna go to Paris. We're gonna take a train down to Paris. We're gonna be there for a number of days.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

So romantic.

[Brian Green]

I know. It was. It really was. Unbelievably. I pulled that one right out of my head. Yes, I did. I watched a couple mo movies, and I figure out how to do it. So I. So Astrid says, oh, this is wonderful. I love it. I'll plan it. Step to stern. Don't worry about it. You just put your credit card down and we'll figure out how we get this done. And I'm like, okay, great. Wonderful. This is the first, like, trip. Trip that we're taking together. We had taken some other trips to, like, I think we went to Disney World, we went to Aruba, but those trips were kind of pre planned. Like, we just. It kind of came together organically. It wasn't like one or the other planned it. But this one she's going to plant. So we get to Geneva.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Before you were married.

[Brian Green]

This is before married. So it's October on the. I. I'll remember that. It's in October, near Halloween time. And so I fly over to Geneva. She's got the hotel set up. I land, I meet her somewhere in Geneva. We take a train to the hotel. It's all very perfect. Like, I was just wonderful. We get to this hotel. It's lovely. It's a lovely hotel. Downtown Geneva. I'm just really happy. Let's go get a cup of coffee. Okay. Hey. In a couple of days, we're gonna go to Paris. We're gonna stay in Geneva and then we're gonna go to Paris. And this is the exciting. This is like the meat and potatoes of the trip. We're excited to go to Paris because neither of us had ever been. And so, you know, we're gonna see all the sites that do all the things. So Astro. So I said, hey, where are we staying in. In Paris? And she says, we're gonna stay at the Hilton. The Hilton Le Congray. The Hilton at the Congress. And I was like, wow, that's incredible. That's great.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Wow.

[Brian Green]

Wow. I don't even know what you're talking about, but Lake Gray sounds fancy, right? And. Oh, it was a Hyatt. Excuse me? And I was like, and it's a Hyatt. You can't go wrong with a Hyatt.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

No way. And she goes, and it's got a view of the Eiffel Tower. And I'm like, this is delicious. You have really outdone yourself here, Astrid. Fantastic. Make sure you get a nice room, you know, because the secret is I was intending to propose.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I know.

[Brian Green]

So I got really excited about this. So now everything's lining up. We got a view of the Eiffel Tower. Not sure where I'm going to do it, not sure how I'm going to do it, not sure when I'm going to do it, but I'm going to do it in Paris. It's got to be in Paris.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yeah, gotta be.

[Brian Green]

So we take a train to Paris. We ride first class on a bullet train, on the high speed train. That was lovely. We had a great time. What a, what a great thing. Astrid wanted to, wanted us to go and coach because she was like, listen, it's a nice train and any seat in there is going to be nice. And I'm like, no, no, no, no. Only the best for you. Get the first class tickets with the Chianti Classico. By the way, a meal on one of those trains in that first class cabin is akin to like a four course meal at any restaurant in the United States. It was unbelievable. And it's just like the normal. I mean, it's first class, but it's like the normal. The, the service they give you. It was a wonderful ride. And, and, and we got to see the countryside. And so we get there, I don't know, it's four or five hours, something like that. We get there, we take a cab, take us to the Hyatt Le Congrai. And Astrid speaks a little French and the guy kind of turns around and he looks at us and he goes, Hyatt. And yeah, yeah, the Hyatt. He goes, oh, okay, all right, I'll take it to the Hyatt, by the way. It just sounded like a Mexican cab driver there.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yeah, that was a bad accent.

[Brian Green]

That's a bad accent. So we get to the Hyatt. It is this huge hotel. I mean, it is huge. And we walk in the front. It's, it's a little bit older, but it is right there at the lake on Grey at the Congress, right. And we walk in and the lobby is incredible. It's huge. It's got a hundred foot ceilings or something. I mean, it's just beautiful. It's grand. It's big. You're like, this is the jam and it's like a circular hotel, right? So it's, you know.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

So I'm just so excited. So we get there and we check in and, and. Oh, you know. Are you celebrating anything? No, we're just here, you know, it's our first time in Paris. Fantastic. We have a lovely room for you. Oh, that's great. Lovely, you know, views of the Eiffel Tower. Oh my God, this is amazing. We, and then they just say, okay, well, but you know, whatever. Philippe is going to take you over to your room, right? And so the bellboy grabs our bags, we go up to the room. He Opens the door to show us the room when we get upstairs, like into the hallway area. It's like a circular hallway, Right. So he starts walking around this circular hallway and the doors are very close to each other and they're. And the ceilings are very low. And so I'm already understanding this is like an older hotel. And the lady mentioned to us that the hotel was under renovations. So I was like, oh, great. We got, you know, newly renovated rooms and all this stuff up. This guy opens up the door and Chrissy, the room is no bigger than this table that we're sitting at right now. I mean, it is tiny, tiny, tiny. Which is not uncommon in Europe, by the way. It's just not uncommon.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

That's right.

[Brian Green]

There's, you know, they. Everything is very compact there. It's all, you know, very dense cities spread out amongst large, you know, farmland or whatever it is, whatever part of Europe that you're in. Land. Well, they have farms there, don't they? I know, but the countryside. The countryside, okay. Sheeps and farms and wheels of Parmesan cheese. I'm not sure how did we go.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

To farmland from the center of Paris?

[Brian Green]

Fondue farms. You know, they have fondue farms out there in Paris. I think that's what they do.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Okay.

[Brian Green]

Wine. I don't know, Graperies. What do they call them? Graperies. I don't even know. Vineyards. There you go.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Grapers.

[Brian Green]

Grapefruit.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Nice.

[Brian Green]

So we opened up the door and the room is tiny. I mean, it is just really small and. But it's my first time in Paris. I'm in the middle of downtown Paris. I'm not too far off from the Eiffel Tower. I'm definitely in the district. I'm like, okay, maybe this just is what it is. I am not going to complain because I'm here with the girl that I love and I'm excited about the trip. I'm not going to complain. Not yet anyway. So we get into this, this room and they have two beds, right? Two tiny little beds that they have now pushed together, which is also not uncommon in Europe. You know, I don't know why they do that. They just. Maybe it's. They can't get them up the elevators or something. I don't know. But they don't usually have king size beds. So push these beds together and then you can. Sure, you can see the Eiffel Tower. If you crane your neck around like this, you can see like one half of the Eiffel Tower and it's not very close. It's Probably a mile off in the distance. Two miles off in the distance. It's not the best view of the Eiffel Tower.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

You gotta love the hotel for marketing in it, though, as view of the.

[Brian Green]

Oh, yeah. Well, of course. That's what they're going to do. Yeah. And then we notice that there's, like a blood stain on the carpet. There are multiple stains on the carpet, actually. The furniture is from the 70s. The sink is like formal. Formaldehyde or Formica or something. It's like weird, you know, everything is old and decrepit and weird. Now, just to give credit where credit is due to the Hyatt, I know they have renovated this place since we've been there.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

You guys need to go back.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, we were not on the renovated floor. That's what was going on. Right. They hadn't reached that floor yet. So even though we were high up in the building and yes, you could see the Eiffel Tower if you managed to catch it in the right light, you know, occasionally. Chrissy. It didn't take me but half an hour to tell Astrid, I'll be right back. And at the time, I smoked cigarettes. I told her I was going to smoke a cigarette. And I go downstairs and I think I've told this story. I beg to get. I beg to get a bigger room. And they say, of course, no problem. We're so sorry about the trouble. And I don't complain. You get much more flies with honey than you do with vinegar. That is true. It's all about how you say it. And I just said, listen, it's an important weekend for me, you know, I think I'm going to propose. I had anticipated the room would be a little bit bigger. Maybe we'd be able to see the Eiffel Tower a little bit clearer. You know, whatever we need to do, happy to pay for it. May I please have a larger room with a little bit better view of the Eiffel Tower, to which they accommodate? But what they did was they sent us up to a room that had two of the exact same rooms connected by one of those doors in the middle. It was the exact same thing. They just put them together. They just put two. They just opened the door. Yes. It was so weird. And they're like, this is a suite. And I'm like, a suite. This is a suite. It's two rooms is what it is. Anyway, it turned out that I had to make some adjustments, some calls on the fly, and we ended up at a very nice hotel over by the Ark. And we did this in the middle of the night. We, like, did it under the radar. And I think I told this story that Astor dyed her hair.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yes, that's right.

[Brian Green]

Because when Aster did all this planning, one of the things she didn't tell me until I got there, until we got into. Into we got to Paris, was that she had planned a photo shoot for us in Paris. A photo shoot? Yeah. If you know me, you know that photo shoot is on the very last rung of any priority for me. I don't like to have my picture taken. It's not my favorite thing in the world. But I'm with this beautiful young lady who I am falling in love with, and I'm like, okay, we'll roll with it.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Well, I bet, though, you were kind of excited because, hey, this could be the. The proposal. Well, photos.

[Brian Green]

Yes. It just gave me the thought that I had to do it before the photo shoot. Like, it gave me a deadline. Now I have to do it before the photo shoot. And I think I did it the night before the photo shoot. But we ended up at this beautiful hotel. Hotel where I. Or we ended up getting engaged. But I'm telling you right now is that that didn't leave the best taste in my mouth for Astrid's planning ability. So I was like, listen, I might have to take this over from now on.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Planning in another country can be tricky.

[Brian Green]

She redeemed herself a million times. She was so apologetic and so embarrassed about it, and I was like, how would you fudge it? Honestly? How would you fucking know?

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Like, you wouldn't.

[Brian Green]

You're planning something. You know, you. Anything can look good with a little touch up on the photo, right?

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

No, it's. It's kind of. And it's tricky in planning for other countries.

[Brian Green]

It's very tricky to plan for other countries. Just listen back to the episode where I explained our experience in Spain with all the Airbnbs. It's very tricky to get it right. And that is no fault of the person planning. That's the fault of the people saying that they, you know, use a five star luxury house. Yeah. And what you get is a Chicken Cooper in the back of the yard where the chickens just chase you around all night long with no Internet, phone or television. Unbelievable.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I love that story.

[Brian Green]

In the middle of this tiny little village in the middle of the north of Spain, you know, mile from city center. Mile from city center. How? With a high speed train. I mean, how do you get there? Maybe a mile, maybe if you fly. But I don't Happen to have wings. Took us 25 minutes to get to and from the city center. Listen, on. I don't mean to be a bitch about this and to rehash, you know, the old grievances I had with this particular house, but I'm telling you what.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

We'Re coming up on a year.

[Brian Green]

We're coming up on a year, and I feel like I'm having PTSD from those chickens chasing me all night long as I'm outside trying to find any phone signal whatsoever. That was terrible. But, you know, when Astrid planned this trip, the first big planning trip and the first hotel, the second hotel that we stay at is like, you know, it's kind of. And I was like, well, maybe I should take over from here. Here. But I'm telling you what, there's no doubt in my mind that not only am I a travel princess, but that I am ceding control to the person who is best suited to do.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

There you go.

[Brian Green]

Hands down. So now, whenever Astrid, you know, looks at a hotel or looks at a place to stay, she's always like, is this okay with you?

[Podcast Announcer]

Yes.

[Brian Green]

This okay with you? Yeah. Yeah. And I'm like, listen, I trust you now. Ten years later. I trust you now. But maybe it wasn't so great that first. That first hotel in.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

It all turned out well.

[Brian Green]

I'm just being an entitled. It all did turn out well.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yes.

[Brian Green]

Turned out the best for everybody. I think, quite frankly, now do too. Look at us now. We're doing great. We survived the shitty hotel in Paris and I survived the car accident. Yes.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Thank God.

[Brian Green]

Goodness, yes. My back's feeling a little sore, actually. Oh, God. Well, you had to twist. Yeah.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Cat like. Cat like reflex.

[Brian Green]

It was. It was like I. I jumped sideways, you know, I twisted my body over the corner of the car and it was a Honda Accord, which is kind.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Of weird when you said that.

[Brian Green]

I know.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I was like, it's kind of weird. Yeah, the old Honda Accord.

[Brian Green]

Karma.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Back to you.

[Brian Green]

Karma. It's a. Oh, winter. It's a. With a plastic festival vendor. But I am okay. Hey, listen, we're gonna be in Florida in September. Tampa and Orlando. Those are the first two shows we have to announce. Tampa and Orlando.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Dip our toe.

[Brian Green]

We'll dip our toe in the water here. We'll see how that goes. Chrissy's gonna plan. Looks like the 25th and the 26th. Orlando and the 26 25th. Tampa on the 26th. I'll announce where you can buy tickets soon and shortly. But I just wanted to throw the dates out there in case you're interested in coming. We would love to see you. If you come or if you intend to come, let us know. Text us. 12-12-4333 TCB. That's 212-433-3822. Text us. Let us know you'd love to come to one of those shows. 25th in Orlando. 26th. Sixth on in Tampa. Yeah, we'd love to see you.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

We're doing it.

[Brian Green]

We'll bring some stickers, some swag or something like that. Oh, yeah, yeah. Also Merch drop coming soon. Hasrid will give more information about that. We'll tell you when and where you can get that merchandise if you are so interested. I think we have some great swag that you can pick up. So those are two big announcements. We'll keep reminding you. Let us know if you're gonna be there. Tcbpodcast.com that's where you go. More information about the show. All the audio, all the video, all the links to our guests and our sponsors, all their special discount codes and all that stuff is available on the show. Notes we want to thank dez bishop desbishop.net if you want to see him live, go check out his YouTube special of all people. TCB podcast on tick Tock. The commercial break on Instagram and YouTube.com the commercial break for all of our guests, interviews and selected episodes. Okay, Chrissy, I guess that's all I can do for now.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I think so.

[Brian Green]

But I'll tell you that I love you.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

And I love you.

[Brian Green]

I'll say best to you, best to you and best to you in the podcast universe. Until next time. Chrissy and I always say, we do say and we must say goodbye. Saddle.