A Very Rooney Thanksgiving

Summary

The Commercial Break

Episode Summary: "A Very Rooney Thanksgiving"

Podcast: The Commercial Break
Hosts: Bryan Green & Krissy Hoadley
Air Date: November 27, 2025

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Overview

In this special Thanksgiving episode, Bryan and Krissy blend their signature improvisational, irreverent humor with a nostalgic dive into the world of acting, spearheaded by a hilarious and affectionate roast of Mickey Rooney’s 1992 VHS masterclass, "Mickey on Acting." The episode is peppered with anecdotes about friendship, family quirks, caffeine dependence, and perennial confusion about daylight saving and dinner times. It’s classic TCB: a mix of wild tangents, listener interaction, and a good-natured dismantling of pop culture artifacts.

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Key Discussion Points & Segments

1. Thanksgiving Banter & Life Updates

• [03:12] The duo wish listeners a Happy Thanksgiving and riff on holiday release schedules—Bryan is non-committal about when exactly this will drop.
• [03:38] Coffee Husbands, Italian Weddings, and Life Updates
  • Bryan shares stories about his “coffee husband’s” daughter’s wedding in Italy, the perks of putting expensive events on credit, and the inevitable role of parents as paymasters.
  • They laugh about getting old, likening their routines and green pants, and bemoan the impact of kids and changing habits.
• [05:15] Coffee vs. Tea Life
  • Krissy recounts how partner Jeff quit coffee due to anxiety, sparking a conversation about caffeine dependency, over-caffeinated routines, and Starbucks baristas who warn Bryan about his coffee intake.

“This is a lot of coffee to be drinking, Brian. …You know how math works, right? Doesn’t matter if you drink half now and half then, you’re drinking one full Trenta every single day and that’s probably not healthy for you.”
—Bryan Green ([07:11])

2. Daylight Saving Time & The Tyranny of the Calendar

• [07:31] Both hosts express their (relatable) confusion and exasperation over daylight saving, with Bryan launching into a comedic tirade about why Congress can't end time changes.
• They get tangled in a classic TCB “months have how many days” debate, revisiting schoolyard memory tricks and lamenting their dependence on smartphones for even basic info.

“I don’t know why I’m even sending my child to school anymore. Everything they could ever want to know is literally at their disposal... The evolution of human history, everything that’s ever been written is now in that chatty TCB.”
—Bryan Green ([10:46])

3. Parenting, Routines & Dinner Times

• [14:55] Bryan talks about poll responses from Venezuelans on his Instagram about American dinner customs (“eating at 6pm”), prompting reflections on how parenthood and culture affect routines.
• Recollections of their own past—late dinners, European habits ("snack at 6, dinner at 9"), and now, post-kids, adapting to the “cruise ship” schedule at retirement homes.
• Family stories: Bryan’s “cruise ship” vibe at his mom’s retirement community and generational shifts in meal timing.

4. Minor Mishaps & Car Bloopers

• [17:49] Bryan details accidentally backing his car into another in his own driveway, only to have his kids and wife react in comic horror.
• He draws parallels to viral Instagram videos of calm passengers in crisis, noting how “staying calm” in front of kids is an art and a science.

“I just got embarrassed in front of my kids... The lawn guys are laughing at me. I can tell Astrid’s pissed. But it was just an accident. No one’s hurt. Everything’s fine. And let’s be real, it’s not like we own a Phantom.”
—Bryan Green ([21:01])

5. Nostalgia & The Mickey Rooney Acting Tape

• [23:04] In anticipation of seeing the new ‘Wicked’ film, they decide to “share an acting clinic” from Mickey Rooney’s vintage VHS “Mickey on Acting,” setting up a segment where they riff hilariously on overcrowded old-school acting advice.

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The Mickey Rooney "Acting Masterclass" Roast

Main Segment Begins: [28:35]

a. Viewing and Live Roasting

• Bryan and Krissy provide real-time, insightful, and endlessly funny commentary as they watch clips of Mickey Rooney’s tape.
• The roast centers on Rooney’s over-the-top style, wardrobe choices (sweatpants hiked to his chest), and lack of practical 1990s production value.

“You gotta also remember that Mickey Rooney was like the king of like novelty appearances in the 80s and 90s … For some reason the executives thought that was a big deal. Is that really going to boost your numbers?”
—Bryan Green ([30:19])

b. Mickey’s “Wisdom”

• Rooney’s main mantra: The secret to acting is “accepting your own individuality.” He repeats it, asks the audience to recite their names, and links acting to childhood games.
• Bryan and Krissy poke fun at the earnest but muddled advice—debating whether Rooney is actually giving acting tips or just rambling in a closet.
• They mock the VHS-style editing, slumbering “students,” and Rooney’s tendency to veer into odd tangents (“Did you ever play the game of marriage when you were a little toddler?”).

“I’m having a hard time believing if this is a VHS tape from Mickey Rooney or a live press conference from our president.”
—Bryan Green ([35:53])

“Do you know how important you are? Do you know who you are? What is your first name?”
—Mickey Rooney ([44:02])

“Why are you yelling at us?”
—Bryan Green ([46:40])

c. Critique of “Other Schools” of Acting

• Mickey lightly dismisses “method” and “improv” schools for being silly (“Play like you’re a lamp post… because it’s all stupid”), then assures he’s “not knocking” them.

“But I’m not knocking it. God forbid I do any knocking of the other schools of thought or acting.”
—Mickey Rooney / Bryan Green ([52:14])

d. Funny Observations & Tangents

• Commentary on Rooney’s body/wardrobe, the production crew, audience members who are clearly not future stars, and post-acting jobs (OnlyFans, president).

“Let’s fast forward to 2025. Your OnlyFans page is waiting…”
—Bryan Green ([50:42]) (when discussing former child actors’ fates)

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Notable Quotes & Moments (with Timestamps)

• On coffee addiction:
  “This is a lot of coffee to be drinking, Brian… you know how math works, right?” —Bryan ([07:11])
• On parenting:
  “If I react, they react. It’s kind of a mirror. … So that way, when it’s really serious, you make that face and they pay attention.”
  —Bryan ([20:35])
• On Mickey Rooney's wisdom:
  “The secret to becoming a great actor or actress is accepting your own individuality. … It’s the toughest thing in the world for them to accept their own individuality, who they are, when that is the most important thing in the world.” —Mickey Rooney ([46:14], [02:18/46:40])
• On acting vs. reality:
  “He’s not teaching, he’s acting in his own acting video. And you couldn’t be more correct about that. But this is just Mickey’s natural state of being.”
  —Bryan ([54:32])
• On ‘Wicked’ and audience relevance:
  “After five years, we decided to try something new. Shake it up a little bit. Give it the old jostle.”
  —Bryan ([57:41])
• Krissy’s vow:
  “But I vow not to wear those pants.”
  —Krissy ([56:52])

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Memorable Moments

• [15:19] Bryan describes the “cruise ship on land” rhythm of his mom’s retirement home residents heading to dinner (en masse with walkers at 4:30 for a 5:30 seating).
• [21:01] Bryan laments embarrassing himself in front of his family and the lawn guys after a fender bender.
• [28:35] – [56:00] The Mickey Rooney acting tape gets the full TCB treatment—each eccentricity sharply, but lovingly, lampooned.
• [46:40] Mickey’s passionate, almost yelling, declaration on the importance of individuality.
• [50:42] Fast-forward gags about where the children/actors in the tape might end up in 2025—presidential runs and OnlyFans accounts.
• [56:52] Krissy’s fashion resolution, prompted by Mickey’s daring sartorial choices.

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Highlighted Listener/Live Interactions

• Comments from live viewers inform the show’s direction (e.g., fact-checking “under God” in the Pledge of Allegiance, reactions to Mickey Rooney).
• Bryan teases new streaming capabilities for future episodes, inviting fans to join on camera.

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Conclusion

“A Very Rooney Thanksgiving” is a classic TCB blend: breezy Thanksgiving banter, a little grumbling about growing up and technology, highly relatable parenting tales, and a wickedly funny deconstruction of a bygone-era VHS “masterclass.” Bryan and Krissy’s chemistry and comic timing consistently turn small mishaps and cultural relics into gold, making this episode both a nostalgia trip and comedic comfort food.

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Key Segments & Timestamps

• Coffee talk, family, and caffeine dependency: [03:11]–[07:30]
• Daylight savings & dinner times: [07:31]–[17:15]
• Parenting, car mishaps, family routines: [17:15]–[23:06]
• Mickey Rooney acting tape roast: [28:35]–[56:00]

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For listeners who missed the episode:
You’ll get a taste of family holiday chaos, whimsical everyday complaints, and a hearty helping of classic TCB improv—plus, if you never knew you needed a Mickey Rooney acting breakdown… now you do.

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Best to you, Podcast Universe!

Transcript

[Brian Green]

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[Mickey Rooney (archival footage)]

It's the toughest thing in their in the world for them to accept their own individuality, who they are when that is the most important thing in the world.

[Brian Green]

Why are you yelling at us?

[Rachel]

I know.

[Brian Green]

He's so screaming at me.

[Mickey Rooney (archival footage)]

Like thumbprints. No two are the same ever. And you've got to be proud of that. What's your last name? Erica Tandon.

[Brian Green]

Let me hear you say, what if he just goes? What if he just goes? Cut Lime whiskey. The next episode of the Commercial break starts now. 2:30 in the morning. Oh yeah. Cats and kittens, welcome back to the commercial break. I'm Brian Green. This is my dear friend and the co host of this show, Kristen Joy Hoadley. Best to you, Kristen.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Best to you, Brian.

[Brian Green]

Best to you out there in the podcast universe. If you're streaming with us, welcome. If you're not streaming with us, then happy Thanksgiving to you as this is probably coming out sometime around Thanksgiving. Yes. So there you go. Likely Thanksgiving Day, but we'll have to see. I'll make executive decisions later on. I don't want to, I don't want to pin myself to a day yet.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Chrissy, do you like your options open?

[Brian Green]

Like my green pants.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I do like your green pants.

[Brian Green]

I like my green pants.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I'm a fan of green pants. I have a couple.

[Brian Green]

I went and had a date with my coffee husband today and he had the, he had a very similar green pant on. So there you go.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

You guys are sinking.

[Brian Green]

We are. Our brains are melding together. We're to ADHD coffee drinking, dog loving old man.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Catch us up on him for a second. How wasn't he going to a wedding he did over in Italy or something?

[Brian Green]

He went to his daughter's wedding over in Italy. A very nice wedding put together by him. Paid for by him. Yeah, it was quite the to do. Quite an affair apparently.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I'm a fan of Italian weddings. Jeff and I got married there too.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, this happened back in September and he, you know, I don't want to give away all his personal information but apparently from the pictures and from the stories it all went well. It looked very nice. They spent a couple of weeks in Italy.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

That's what you do.

[Brian Green]

That's what you do.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

That's the fun part.

[Brian Green]

And like he said, my daughter decided to come where me and my wife work so that they could get a free hotel. Right.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Well then there's what you do too. Yeah.

[Brian Green]

You let dad pay to the kicking and screaming. To the very end you let the parents pay. I agree with her methodology and I think he's okay. I think he's got the money to do it. So, I mean, I don't know, but it seems like, listen, if you make a decision to let your daughter have a wedding in a far flung location like that at a beautiful resort or whatever it is, you're not being spurious with your cash, you know that you can afford it, you put it on the credit card, get the points on the black credit card. That's what you do. So Very nice guy. Love my coffee. Coffee husband. Aw.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I know.

[Brian Green]

Just as much as I love my non. Coffee wife. Although my wife has started to drink coffee, I think the children have gotten to her.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Really?

[Brian Green]

She never drank coffee when we met. Remember Airplane, the movie?

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yes.

[Brian Green]

Like, oh, that's funny. Never has a second cup of coffee at home. That's my wife. I'm like, oh, that's funny. And sometimes she's drinking two and she makes the coffee herself. And so I always find that to be very interesting because I'm too fucking lazy to do that. So instead I go pay $12.96 for this much coffee from, you know, the world's largest.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

We used to make ours on our own, too. We got a nice coffee maker, we got the bean grinder, all that stuff.

[Brian Green]

Do you still make your own coffee?

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Well, we don't, because Jeff stopped drinking coffee.

[Brian Green]

Oh, he did.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

It just was too much. It was making him too ang. Yeah, too. So, you know, he kept having kind of like mild panic attacks, you know, especially with all the festival stuff that he had going on. And there's a million balls in the air and whatever. So, you know, one day I said, do you think it's the, like, two huge large cups of coffee that you're drinking every morning? Try to cut those out and see what happens. And then. Yep. And then. And things got better. And so. And I'm more of a tea person. I like coffee, but I'm more of a tea.

[Brian Green]

Look at you. You're very. You're very refined, Chrissy. You're very ref. I like tea and I like coffee, but the coffee does it. And people at the Starbucks are concerned for my health. Even. They say, this is a lot of coffee to be drinking, Brian. And I say, well, they don't drink the whole damn thing in one sitting. Yeah, but the. Even that they. I mean, now I've got people at Starbucks that are concerned for my health. You're making money off me. And they go, yeah, but this is a lot of coffee.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

A lot.

[Brian Green]

You know, the Trent is usually not broken out for a cold brew, which has got like twice the caffeine of any other coffee. Yeah, but you're getting one every single morning and coming back for. I say, no, no, no, I drink half of it now and half of it in the morning. They were. And this girl pointed out to me, she was like the manager. She's like, you know how math works, right? Doesn't matter if you're drinking half now and half, then you're drinking the other you're drinking one full Trenta every single day and that's probably not healthy for you. So when the people that you barely know.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Do you know I have 30 children.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. Do you know. Do you realize also, I have to.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Say I've been really tired lately too, and I think it's the time change.

[Brian Green]

The top.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Fuck the time change makes things like. I mean, I was so slee yesterday. I was driving, I was like, oh my God, I could bear. Because it's dark by five. It's five. It went from eight o', clock, nine.

[Brian Green]

O' clock to five.

[Rachel]

Yes.

[Brian Green]

I want my sunlight at the end of the day, not at the beginning of the day. I am okay waking up in the dark. That's okay with me because usually I don't wake up in the dark. That's Astrid.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

She does that.

[Brian Green]

Yeah.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I think the teachers probably enjoy the morning light from what I've heard. I have a teacher friend.

[Brian Green]

I think you would. I think you could make an argument that very few people like it getting dark at 4pm because that's what's going to happen by the, you know, whatever the. I don't know.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Well, and if you're on Central time. I was talking to a friend who's on Central time barely too. She's like kind of on the line. She's like an hour away from Nashville. Yeah, but she's more on the east.

[Brian Green]

It gets dark at three.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Oh, we were talking and she said, yeah, four o', clock, the sun's down. I mean completely. It's dark.

[Brian Green]

No, no, no, no. And you know, like 21 states had now have some bill that if the federal government makes the decision to take away this damn time change, then we'll all just go to a standardized clock that year round. But for some reason the other states haven't gotten on board. What's your fucking problem? Why? I don't understand this. This is like the least controversial thing that Congress could do. And since you're doing nothing else.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Exactly.

[Brian Green]

Except pretending you're going to release the Epstein files and fucking everybody else in the process. Why don't you just make this one change? Then we'll all feel like you accomplished something in spring. We're putting the clocks forward and we're going to leave them there for the rest of eternity. That's it. Just do it. Why are you fucking complaining? Even Trump said he would sign it if it came up to his office. But now here's the question, because some people are confused by this. The confusion is, are we going back or Are we going forward when we stated the clock? We're going forward. That's what it is. There's no other option. I do not want it to be dark at 6:30pm on June 30th. I just don't. That's ridiculous. Why would we do that? Is there a June 30th? Is there even a June 30th? Yes, there's a June 30th, right?

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yes, there's a June the 30th.

[Brian Green]

One of the months when it's the. February's 28 days.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yeah, February is 28 days. Unless it's a leap year. 29. Yeah. And then you've got January 31st.

[Brian Green]

Carry the one February minus three.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

28.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, there are 30. 31 or 28. That's it. That right. I'm good about that. I'm good with calendars. I like calendars.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Some. Some months have 30, some months have 30.

[Brian Green]

I don't like those months. I'm against those months.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

You're not. Well, that's June and November and April.

[Brian Green]

November is a 30 month.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

November. Yeah, November is.

[Brian Green]

No, I'm wrong about that. There's a November 31st.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yes.

[Brian Green]

I was like, somebody remind us of what a calendar looks like. I've got them in my phone. This is the problem with the fucking phone.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Wasn't there some way we learned it in school? Like with the knuckles or, I don't know, half September?

[Brian Green]

I don't. I don't know why I'm even sending my child to school anymore. I really don't. And I'll explain.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

A little bit more than 30 days in November. Yes.

[Brian Green]

I told you. I knew it in the first place.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Almost like every other month.

[Brian Green]

This is why I'm wondering why I'm sending my children to school is because everything they could ever want to know is literally at their disposal. The entire. The evolution of human history, everything that's ever been written is now in that chatty tcb. And I don't know how to get anywhere anymore without a map. I can't get to Starbucks without a map. And I don't take any turns to get there. That's how I turn out of my driveway and I'm there. And then, I don't know, I'm. I got to put the map on and I got to go.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I do the map just in case there's some kind of crazy wreck or there's something, whatever. Even if I know the way to.

[Brian Green]

Get there, Atlanta is the most complicated city in the world to drive in. And I say that in the world that I've been in, is the most complicated city in the world to drive in because it makes no goddamn sense. It never has and never will. And I used to be able to drive drunk with one. I don't drive drunk, but I used to drive drunk with one eye closed, and I could get anywhere you asked me to be, taking any street you needed me to take. I literally. It was. The map was embedded into my brain.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Just like phone numbers.

[Brian Green]

Just like phone numbers. If I went to jail today, I'd call myself. That's the. Or TCB. I'd call our hotline, 212-4333.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

TCB called the hotline.

[Brian Green]

Hey, it's me. Leave a message. And then I'd be like, hey, it. I'm in jail. I don't know. I don't know anymore.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

No, Astrid.

[Brian Green]

Yeah.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

No.

[Brian Green]

Hey, guys, in the comments section, I see you. What does that say? Let's see here. Would you, like many viewers pay now? Well, I thought we had comments. No, there's. I'm sorry. It's really hard to read this. Somebody bra says best to you and best you, my friend.

[Rachel]

And then.

[Brian Green]

All right, I got TCB live. Very cool. Hey, okay, cool, guys. And they're probably texting that damn phone, which I just got to work this morning, and I. I got the. The phone broke. The 212433 phone broke. And I fixed it because the problem got fixed. And I finally turned it on. And when I turned it on, it's like, yeah. But then first I locked myself on.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Oh, God.

[Brian Green]

I couldn't figure it out. That's a problem I can't face. Opens it. I don't know the numbers. I'm like, God damn. And why, Brian, did you put another password on that phone that doesn't exist on your other. And who needs a password on the TCB phone? What are we going to do? Yeah, who's coming in here to collect that information?

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Now, if you. If we were talking to Frankie, he would say, you're cheating.

[Brian Green]

You're cheating, ass. You're lying ass. Your dumb ass. Your fat ass got a.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Got a code on there.

[Brian Green]

God damn it, guys. What are you doing? Put a code on your phone. Yeah, I just don't understand, like, I don't understand existing without coffee, but I probably shouldn't drink it because I have the same problem that Jeff does. I do feel I'm getting a sense. I get panicky sometimes, especially if there's, like, a lot of stuff to do, like, figure out the code. To the TCB funnel.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yes.

[Brian Green]

Then I start stressing out a little bit.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Does November have 30 days?

[Brian Green]

Does November have 30 days? Well, no one ever asked me that question. I just look at my calendar, but I do that. And then it does get me a little panicky sometimes. But then I'm afraid I'm going to lose my morning routine if I don't drink coffee. If I don't spend $6,000 a year at Starbucks. What will I do with that extra $6,000? God damn it. So I don't know. We, you know, tbd. I did stop drinking coffee for a period of time after I met Astrid. I cut cold turkey. I got the caffeine headaches for like two weeks. And then it went away. And I had never felt better. I was running, I was exercising, and then I had kids. And my whole life devolved into dad bod and kid time. I like, you know, I don't know if you're on my Instagram. I know you are, but I don't know if you out there are on my Instagram, but please follow me, you know, especially if you know Spanish, because that's apparently what my Instagram has turned into. A place where I just talk about Venezuela. Yeah. But I enjoy it. It's another part of my life. And I have fun with. Is a big part of my life. And so I said to the Venezuelans, I said, what's one thing that the gringos do that pisses you off? And a lot of them said, eat dinner at six o'. Clock.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

And I'm like, well, I eat dinner at 6 o', clock, but that's because I have fucking kids.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Well, right. You have to do it.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, that's it. I have to do it. It's. But when you drink coffee, well, you'll go back.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

You'll go, maybe get away from that when the kids are out of the house and maybe you'll go back to it. Just like my dad now eats at five.

[Brian Green]

Yes.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I am like, dad, he calls me at 7:30. He's like, hey, I'm like, I'm getting ready to eat. You know, he's like this late.

[Brian Green]

That's it. My mom. Yeah. At the cruise ship on land that my mom lives in, you know, like the retirement village over there.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yes.

[Brian Green]

They have dinner at 5:30 and they start making their way down there like this.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Like 4:30.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. Like a mass migration down to the big dining hall. They start making their way down there at 4:30.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Well, the walkers and wheelchairs and all that takes a While.

[Brian Green]

But then they get there at five and they start complaining that, you know, things haven't started yet. And I'm like, you came down an hour early. What do you.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Oh, that's another thing.

[Brian Green]

What do you want?

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Early?

[Brian Green]

Yeah, they're super early and I get it. But I mean, what is a normal time to eat? I don't know anymore. It used to, I think we used to eat at 8 or 9. 9. I think we used to have dinner at 8 or 9.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yeah, Jeff and I got in that habit usually around eight.

[Brian Green]

Eight, okay, eight feels like a good time to eat. When we go to Spain, things, It doesn't matter that we have children, everything changes. Snack at 6 o', clock, dinner is at 9 o'. Clock. On the early end, sometimes 10 o'. Clock. And then you eat and then you sit and you. And then you have another cup of coffee. Yeah. And then you sit and you talk, you digest. You know, smokers smoke whatever you do. You know that one cigarette that Europeans manage to control themselves and have a day where I'm, I need cig, six packs. Like, I smoke one, I need to smoke 10. But that's what they do. And then, you know, you go to sleep and you wake up and you rinse, repeat. I just don't know anymore. My whole sense of timing is off with the children. And then you add in this time change. I need the coffee. Like this morning I woke up, I'm groggy, we're up early. We got to go to one of the kids schools for an event. You know, he, he did the pledge of allegiance. I was really proud of him. You know, I pledge allegiance to the flag that whole night, you know, you know, you remember as a kid, it, but even that, I'm like, I'm like checking my phone. But he did good. And, and I was so proud of him. I'm like, wow, you really got that licked. You're very young and you got that lit for the whole school. You'd be able to recite it. It'll come back to you.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

It's not like I could do it right now. I just did it in my head. So.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

To the Republic.

[Brian Green]

To the Republic for which it stands, one nation under God, indivisible, for liberty and justice for all. Amen. Holy shit. Where's the title? So, so we're get, we get in the car. I'm groggy. I'm always a kind of. I, I can be groggy in the Morning takes me a minute for my brain to get up. The lawn guys are pulling in. Thank you for not coming while we're recording. But the lawn guys are pulling in and I have a couple of driveways. It's. I don't even want to explain it to you.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

It's a circular.

[Brian Green]

It's a circle. It's like a half semicircle driveway. And then there's a straight driveway. Yeah. That goes down the house. So they're pulling in on the straight driveway and I under. Oh, fun fact. Under God was added later, says one of our commenters. And you're right, that's true. So they're pulling in and I go to back out and that I was just going to turn a little bit back, moving backwards, and then go around them in the grass, which everybody drives in my grass. It's just one of those things. I don't have grass. It's not grass. It's some kind of industrial weed that's never going to leave. Mixed with rocks and mud. Yeah, yeah. Never. Never grows. It'll never grow. So I go to back out. I give it a little bit of gas. Just a little bit. Maybe I'm going 2, 3, 4 miles per hour backwards, turning the wheel. And then I go to stop because there's a. My other car is parked behind me. I go to stop. I'm wearing a boot this morning, and my boot gets stuck under. My body's just not in. It's not fully greased, so it's not working, nor is my mind. So my boot gets stuck under the brake and.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Oh, bam.

[Brian Green]

Right? And it makes a sound and we all kind of jolt forward and my. An asteroid goes. And I'm like, I don't know. Listen. I watched a video the other day of a taxi driver who's become very popular on Instagram for his talking about driving. And so he's saying, I want to show you this video because I want to show you how being a passenger matters more than you think. It's a husband and a wife. There's a cam forward, there's a cam at them. You know, everyone's got cameras in their car now.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

They're driving down the highway 70 miles per hour, and all of the sudden a van hits a box truck, and the box truck starts spinning in the middle of the highway. And these people are imminently going to be in a terrible accident. But the husband swerves just enough, and by the grace of timing and God, he misses this terrible accident. And the wife is like this. But that's all she does. And then after she goes, how the. Did we not just die? How the fuck did we not just die? And the taxi driver who's commenting on all this points out, you see how calm everybody was. He was calm, she was calm. And it mattered because had she yelled and screamed, he may have reacted differently. Right. Think. You know, because you start going, what? What? But she didn't do that. And he did that. Well, I'm going three and a half miles per hour backward in your driveway. Yes. But then all the kids are like, daddy, what happened? Daddy, what happened? Daddy, what happened? And I'm like, shut it. Shut it. Not now.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yeah, Daddy.

[Brian Green]

I mean, I very rarely get upset with the kids. I mean, I get upset with my kids. Like, everybody gets upset. But I try and keep my cool.

[Mickey Rooney (archival footage)]

I do.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I've seen it.

[Brian Green]

I try to keep the patients. If I react, they react. You know, it's kind of a mirror. But this time, I was like. They were all like, yeah. Oh, no, I'm serious. What you do, that you remain calm. So that way, when you get. When it's really serious, when you need them to pay attention, then they do. You can make that face and they pay attention. And I think I scared the. Out of everybody right before they went on stage. I was like, shut it. Boom. Yeah, boom.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Shut it.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, but I get it, you know, It's a jones. I'm not saying that you shouldn't react. I'm just saying that the reaction was. It was a lot. Everybody in the car was like, ah. And then I feel like an idiot because I just got embarrassed in front of my kids. The lawn guys are laughing at me. I can tell that Astrid's pissed. And it's like, it was just an accident. You know, no one's hurt. Everything's fine. Yeah. Yeah. And I mean, let's be real. It's not like we own a fucking, you know, Phantom or something. I didn't get in an accident in the Lamborghini.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Well, I mean, after the cars that we drove.

[Brian Green]

Yes.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

When we were first friends.

[Brian Green]

Yes.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

You had one with no headlight. With no headlight. I had one that was bashed along the side from a clip I took in a garage one time. And, I mean, at the time, we were just like, yeah, whatever.

[Brian Green]

What are you gonna do? Yeah, listen, you can't be precious about your cars. Plus, there's an old adage, the car you drive is a reflection of the person that you are. And let's be honest, I think it needs to be dinged. Up a little bit. It's a little. It's a little too clean. That's not a reflection of who I am. That pretty car is not a reflection of who I am. And again, I'm not driving around an $80,000 car. The car I hit is not an $80,000 car. It's a thing. It's a. It's a piece of plastic.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

It's a vehicle.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. And so I get out real quick. Both of us get out real quick. Astrid and I, we look, and the damn. The car I'm driving. Little scratch, tiny little scratch. You wouldn't notice. No one cares. It's on the back bumper, whatever. And then the other car, I don't see any damage. So I'm like. I get in the car and then Astrid has to point out. She's like, the kids, you know, did you hurt the other car? And I'm like, no, I don't think. Yes. Yes, you did. Yes, you did. Thank you, baby. I appreciate it. She's always there to. She's there to keep it real. Yeah. To keep it real. You know, you. You need that person that's going to call you out and. And thank God for Astro and you and Raphael and my mom and my dad. It takes a village to call out all this. All right, so the Wicked. The Wicked.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Wicked reviews.

[Brian Green]

Wicked's for goods. Reviews are in, and they are not, I would say, stellar. They're not stunning, right? They are. It's about half and half, from what I read. I think it's got like a 69 on Metacritic. It's got like a. I think it's like a 74 on rotten tomatoes from the actual critics. And, you know, I think these girls are putting on an acting clinic and a singing clinic. Quite frankly, in the first one, I don't know about the second one, I haven't seen it, but I thought it was time that Chrissy and I, as thespians ourselves, share with the audience what it is like to be a thespian. And there is no other actor or actress that I can think of. It takes a village to raise an idiot. Yes, it does.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

That's a good one.

[Brian Green]

That's a good one. It takes a actor to know an actor or an actress. And since Chrissy and I are there, we also have gotten our advice. Masters of craft, the masters of our craft when it comes to acting. And we have gotten our advice from the best of the best. And what do I mean? I mean, the 1982 VH. 1992 VHS cassette known as Mickey Rook. Mickey Rooney on acting. Now, 92% of our audience won't even know who the fuck Mickey Rooney is. He's an old actor. He's an old child actor that turned into a real actor. And he was in thousands of movies and television shows. The guy had an illustrious career, and he put out an acting clinic in 1992 on VHS. And the gods of the Internet have blessed us by putting that VHS out on YouTube. Many other people have already gotten their hands on this. I meant to do this a couple months ago, but I thought it was. This is a good time to stream and review on audio and on video, the Mickey Rooney VHS tape. Mickey on acting. What do you think? Okay, stay tuned. We're going to take a short. We'll be back in two and two. I'm going to start saying that. We'll be back in two and two. And if you're streaming us at the commercial break on YouTube, we're also on Twitch and now on Kick. And yesterday we had some people. Yeah, it's probably young people in their 20s going, see, this is what happens when you get old. You turn into an unfunny idiot.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

This is what old people do when they try and podcast.

[Brian Green]

I'm no Jack Daugherty, all right? I'm just not Dotty whatever his name is, that guy. Did you hear about that kid, the streamer who got arrested for that at with amphetamines and weed down in Miami? Little that runs around this streamer now. Okay, we'll do that a different day. I'll show you some of his videos. All right, let's take a short break, and when we get back, Mickey on acting.

[Rachel]

Hey, it's Rachel, your new voice of God here on tcb. And just like you, I'm wondering just how much longer this podcast can continue. Let's all rejoice that another episode has made it to your ears. And I'll rejoice that my check is in the mail. Speaking of mail, get your free TCB sticker in the mail by going to tcbpodcast.com and visiting the Contact Us page. You can also find the entire commercial break library audio and video, just in case you want to look at [e-mail]. want your voice to be on an episode of the show? Leave us a message at 212-4333, TCB. That's 212-433-3822. Tell us how much you love us and we'll be sure to let the world know, on a future episode. Or you could make fun of us. That'd be fine, too. We might not air that, but maybe. Oh, and if you're shy, that's okay. Just send a text. We'll respond. Now, I'm gonna go check the mailbox for payment while you check out our sponsors, and then we'll return to this episode of the commercial break.

[Brian Green]

Okay. All right. Why can't I hear this, though? Oh, there we go. Okay, we're back. And thanks. Regular schedule dude is on his lunch break right now joining in the stream. Yeah. Again, if you want to join in the streaming fun and you're listening to this on the podcast version or you're watching the replay on YouTube, you can do that. Usually Tuesday, Wednesdays, and Thursdays between. Sometime between noon and 3. Our schedule changes a little bit. We'll try and post it on Instagram a couple minutes before we go. You can always go to YouTube, subscribe to the channel, and hit the notifications. It'll notify you when we go live where you can do the same thing on Twitch and the same thing on Kick. So we appreciate everybody that is joining in the fun. And we won't be here next week. We won't be here this week as you're listening to it on the podcast, or next week, if you're watching the week of Thanksgiving, we're gone the entire week, so we will not be here. But the following week. I am. I have a software program now that may allow us to bring people into the stream on your own camera, with your own, you know, microphone or headset or whatever. So stay tuned because that, I think, is the direction I'd like this to head.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Me, too.

[Brian Green]

We'd love to have people. Yeah, we'd love to have people come on in and join and have fun. So for right now, it's comment section. But if we can, you know, keep it uncomplicated, because we can figure it out. We need to keep it uncomplicated because I'm the guy who's driving into my own car that's three feet behind me. Then there you go. All right, so here's, you know, in anticipation of Wicked's For Good, a lot of people have seen it. I saw one of our friends got, like, a special screening that happened on Tuesday night. Some people are saying it's not as good as the first one or it's different than the first one, but, you know, I saw one was a lot.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

To live up to.

[Brian Green]

It's a lot to live up to. But anyway, Die Hard fans are probably.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Going to love it.

[Brian Green]

Let's give the girls in Wicked. Let's give the whole cast in Wicked a little acting class here from one of the masters of acting. His name is Mickard. Mickey. Hey, Mickard. Mickey Rooney. And if you don't know who he is, you'll see him now. Let me out of here. I'm Mickey McGuire. The master ceremony.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I gotta get out here.

[Brian Green]

I gotta take the folks for a trip to Hollywood. Let me outta here.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Wow. He went back to the black and white days.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, he's given us a little class here on what he used to do. If that kid was in as a child. Yeah, if that kid was in my house, I'd.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Outside of the house.

[Brian Green]

Yes, that's right.

[Mickey Rooney (archival footage)]

Mickey did some film for you.

[Brian Green]

Thanks.

[Mickey Rooney (archival footage)]

Old trailer.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Okay.

[Mickey Rooney (archival footage)]

Say let's go take a look at it.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

What do you say?

[Mickey Rooney (archival footage)]

Say let's go take a look at it.

[Brian Green]

What do you say? These are like. This is like the beginning of the movies in television. Yeah, operator.

[Mickey Rooney (archival footage)]

Operator.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Operator.

[Brian Green]

Okay, I'm gonna fast forward through this. I don't want. I don't know if I necessarily want to watch this guy's movies here. Oh, there you go. Okay, here's Mickey. Oh yeah, here's Mickey. This is his acting class.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Okay, okay.

[Brian Green]

Okay. This was just like the warm up. Yeah. I guess they're showing you what kind of master actor Mickey Rooney really is as a three year old child.

[Mickey Rooney (archival footage)]

Yeah, you made me feel a little younger. You made me feel younger. I at least ought to be grateful for that.

[Brian Green]

You gotta also remember that Mickey Rooney was like the king of like novelty appearances in 80s and 90s television shows. He would show up and for some reason the executives thought that was a big deal. Is that really going to boost your numbers? I guess maybe he did. Maybe he moved the needle.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Like cameos.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, cameo, you know. Oh. Special guest star this week on NBC's Heart to Heart, Mickey Rooney. Nothing like dressing wine color on wine color. Hell, they do it in Lululemon these days, don't they? It's wine on wine. That's a wine on wine crime. I think it was. Yeah, I think it was George Lucas's group that did the. That did the production. The production here. Yeah, all the special effects. Gilberg, the fake light comes in. This is so old.

[Mickey Rooney (archival footage)]

You know, acting. The word act a C T has been used every way, every day a long time. I mean, you'll hear some people say she acts like she doesn't know what she's doing. Somebody will turn around and say, hey, he acts like he doesn't feel well. Somebody says, you know what?

[Brian Green]

You know what, Mickey? Can you pull your pants up a little bit?

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I mean, they're real high.

[Brian Green]

Holy shit.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

He's got a humpty dumpty.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. For those that are listening, he's got. Yeah, he's full humpty dumpty bod. And I think he's always been that way, quite frankly. But not to make fun of his body.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

No. Which is fine. But he might want to dress. I think there's ways you could dress and not that way.

[Brian Green]

Humpty dumpty is the direction I'm going in. I think that's going to be my body style at 70 years old. But he's got his sweatpants really pulled up to his nipples. It's a lot.

[Mickey Rooney (archival footage)]

They act like they're nice people to know. So the word act a c. T is utilized every day, and nobody is really cognizant of the fact that they're utilizing a very, very important word. I have dissected it, act, and called it associated creative thinking.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Associated creative thinking.

[Brian Green]

Look at you. That's a little Gary busey ish there. But okay. Remember Gary used to take all the words and break them up and make them into different, you know, analogs and Ana rhythms and.

[Mickey Rooney (archival footage)]

Yeah, Thinking creatively. Associated creative thinking. You know, the bard was correct. Shakespeare, when he said, we all.

[Brian Green]

I'm already asleep. If I'm in this class, I'm already like, where's my Trento, cold brew?

[Mickey Rooney (archival footage)]

All are actors, and we have our entrances and our exits, and in our lifetime, we will all play many parts. And thus it is. So somebody says, well, how do you act like a cab driver?

[Brian Green]

And thus it is. Well, how do you act like a cab driver. How do you act like a cab driver.

[Mickey Rooney (archival footage)]

Yeah, Driver who's driving around today near us is acting like. Like a cab driver, and the bus driver's acting like a bus driver. And if they're having an operation at a nearby hospital, the surgeon is acting.

[Brian Green]

Was this filmed in a closet? Was this filmed in a closet is my question.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

It does look closet. Ish.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. Is this what you do when you're, like, one of the world's most renowned actors of your time, your generation?

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

He did.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. At 82 years old, they put you in a closet and they say, hey, can you help?

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

We're gonna film this.

[Brian Green]

And th.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

It is.

[Brian Green]

He did say that. Someone just pointed out that Andy goes. And thus it is. You are having an operation. I am acting like your surgeon.

[Mickey Rooney (archival footage)]

It sounds almost too simple, but that's what acting is. It's simple. And I'm going to explain and tell you how you get to this wonderful, delightful and enjoyable simplicity. And I want to ask you, all.

[Brian Green]

Lean with the belly.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Well, that girl, look, she's looking down.

[Brian Green]

She's like. He's going to assault me before this day is over. He's going to give me a side hug and reach around my waist. I know it.

[Mickey Rooney (archival footage)]

When were you the best actor or actress in your life? When were you all the best?

[Brian Green]

I just want us to. By the way, when they're doing these crowd shots, let's scan the crowd and see if we know any notable faces that showed up on Mickey.

[Mickey Rooney (archival footage)]

On acting, actor and actress in your life. Does anyone know?

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

So far, I don't recognize anybody.

[Brian Green]

No, that's not Demi Moore there.

[Mickey Rooney (archival footage)]

Anyone out there in the audience? No. Nobody knows. I'll tell you. When you were a child.

[Brian Green]

Huh?

[Mickey Rooney (archival footage)]

You played games. You played games. You played good guys, bad guys. You played cowboys. Like, you even fought over the roles. Oh, come on, you guys. You. You played the good guy last time. Let me play the good guy this time. You know what I mean? And you had to improvise your own dialogue.

[Brian Green]

I'm having a hard time on believing if this is a VHS tape from Mickey Rooney or live press conference from our president.

[Mickey Rooney (archival footage)]

You didn't have a script. I mean, if you were playing, let's say, Robin Hood and you had a sword that was pounded together with two sticks and you had a garbage can over here to be your. Your shield, and you were defending Lady Guinevere. And so, and so, and so.

[Brian Green]

Who's Guinevere?

[Mickey Rooney (archival footage)]

You could see it in your mind. You had no wardrobe.

[Brian Green]

You had no clothes on. Let's all get naked. Yeah, let's strip it down to its bare angels. Who wants to see my belly?

[Mickey Rooney (archival footage)]

You had nothing but your own creative incentive. Oh, incidentally, as a child, you had to. Your love games, too.

[Brian Green]

Oh, here we go.

[Mickey Rooney (archival footage)]

You had marriage.

[Brian Green]

You had marriage. You had hide the. Hide the pickle. And then you had are you growing like I am? And then you had show me yours and I'll show you mine. Let's play around of show me yours and I'll show you mine. I'm Mickey Rooney on acting.

[Mickey Rooney (archival footage)]

Did you ever play the game of marriage when you were a little toddler? Let's play marriage.

[Brian Green]

That girl goes, this is about to get weird. My mom warned me. She told me to call her.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Don't get into acting.

[Brian Green]

They don't Even have cell phones yet.

[Mickey Rooney (archival footage)]

I remember that game. And your performances were magnificent because you were being creative all the time. And then what happened? You stopped.

[Brian Green]

I started to pick my nose and the whole place, the whole place went bonkers.

[Mickey Rooney (archival footage)]

And everyone does stop at exactly the same, the very same time.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Puberty.

[Brian Green]

Puberty.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yep. That's what I was thinking.

[Brian Green]

This is weird. Oh, I knew this was gonna be good.

[Mickey Rooney (archival footage)]

All stopped. When you noticed you had hair down there, Someone was looking at you. You became frightened that people might call you silly, childish. And fear set into you. Well, they're looking at me. Which now detonates a certain amount of what they call today stage fright, of which there is no such thing. All professional actors and actresses today, all.

[Brian Green]

They are.

[Mickey Rooney (archival footage)]

Is grown up children.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

His stance.

[Brian Green]

I know. He moves his whole body. He's like one big roly poling. I know. He's got the world's biggest belly. I mean, it's amazing that a human can. Can look like that. But you know, hey, listen, I'm not knocking the body type. I'm just.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

No, but again, like, I think he might choose different clothes.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, you don't choose the sweatpants above the belly button tucked in. Yeah. You don't go red on red. Yeah.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

You don't tuck the shirt.

[Brian Green]

You don't tuck anything in.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

No.

[Brian Green]

At this point, you go full Tommy Bahama, Chloe kimono. Do what every other guy. That's right, Marlon Brando. Wear a guayabera, like a Cuban shirt. Shirt.

[Mickey Rooney (archival footage)]

Can you see what I'm getting at?

[Brian Green]

She's like, yeah, she's like, I don't want to make eye contact with you.

[Mickey Rooney (archival footage)]

And the grown up children that are actors and professionally so today are children. Making believe. That's all it is. Making believe and getting paid darn well for it.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Only if you're.

[Brian Green]

I got. Yeah, that's right. Well, I mean, you got to understand, when Mickey started in, the business probably got paid like $10 a day.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Well, I was gonna say two cents an hour.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. There was no movie business. Two bits. That's what you got paid. It's like podcasters early on. We're getting paid, you know, nothing. Well, we don't get paid anything because no one watches us. But hey, thanks for streaming. Well, I, I was an actor all.

[Erica Michelle Landon]

Through, you know, when I was a.

[Brian Green]

Kid, I was, I was an outgoing kid.

[Erica Michelle Landon]

I was a loud child.

[Brian Green]

And my parents just thought, hey, you know, then I got in a horrible football related accident. Maybe we can put this to use. And. And no, they, you know, urged me.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

To try out that one guy in the back doesn't look like a kid.

[Brian Green]

No, he's not a kid.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

He was in the shadow creep with.

[Brian Green]

It was a great place to pick up hot chicks. Can I sit behind you? Do you mind if I sit behind you? And I got a very small part but I, I fell in love with it right, right from then and then that's when, that's when Mickey walked in and Mickey was in the audience and he said I love to show up to children's plays. Why don't you come to Mickey on acting? It's my brand new series. I think ABC is going to put it out overnight.

[Erica Michelle Landon]

And from then on I decided that's.

[Brian Green]

What I want to do. It's what I have to do. What's wrong with that guy's face? He's kind of got weird affectations. He was 8 to 10.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I wanted to be a truck driver and then I started acting into junior high where I went to school and ever since then that's pretty much what I've wanted to do. It's fun to get up on stage and play around. Being in front of an audience at times.

[Rachel]

Cause.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

A truck driver, does she want to be like a 18 wheeler?

[Brian Green]

Yeah. Yeah. What kid doesn't want to be an 18 wheel truck driver? Actually I liked when I was a kid, I thought that was cool. Like oh cool. You get to drive around, you get to sleep in the cab.

[Rachel]

It's really.

[Brian Green]

But then I got in a horrible truck related accident.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Immediate. It's right there.

[Mickey Rooney (archival footage)]

Now I'm going to give you one of the biggest secrets in the world in becoming clone.

[Brian Green]

You should wear it. Drives the ladies crazy.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Velvet high waisted pants.

[Brian Green]

Velvet high waisted pants. I'm gonna tell you where to buy them. Big and tall, large and small. All right, let's do this. Let's take a short break and then when we get back we'll continue with Mickey on acting. I know you're riveted. Stay tuned.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I keep saying, you're saying Mickey on ice.

[Brian Green]

Mickey on acting. Mickey on ice. Mickey on ice.

[Rachel]

Let me do something Brian has never done.

[Brian Green]

Be brief.

[Rachel]

Follow us on Instagram at the commercial break, text or call us 212-4333 TCB. That's 212-433-3822. Visit our website tcbpodcast.com for all the audio, video and your free sticker. Then watch all the [e-mail] and finally share the show. It's the best gift you could give a few aging podcasters See, Brian, that really wasn't that difficult, now, was it? You're welcome.

[Brian Green]

Oh, there we are. Hi.

[Rachel]

Hi.

[Brian Green]

Welcome back. We're back.

[Mickey Rooney (archival footage)]

An actor or an actress, it is simply accepting.

[Brian Green]

So I just want to point out that one of the some people that's watching our, our show right now live on the stream says, I had no idea about Mickey Rooney. So this is now going to be my forever impression of him. And I gotta tell you, I've seen a lot of Mickey Rooney because I, I was a kid of the 80s and a kid of the 90s and my parents, of course, I don't know, they. Mickey Rooney was a thing. It just wasn't. My grandparents, he was around, my grandparents liked him, you know, whatever. This is the exact same impression I got too. There is no difference between the impression when he was younger. When he's old, this is kind of how he is all the time.

[Mickey Rooney (archival footage)]

Your own individuality and your sexuality.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

That was the secret.

[Brian Green]

That's the secret.

[Mickey Rooney (archival footage)]

Do you know how important you are? Do you know who you are? What is your first name?

[Brian Green]

Rob.

[Mickey Rooney (archival footage)]

Rob what?

[Brian Green]

Malloy.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Let me hear you say black people in there. It seems like he should know his students. Students.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, you would think you'd get a little prep.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Who are you?

[Brian Green]

Like a little pre introduction, like, hey guys, we're going to make this together. I'm going to sell it on vhs. We're all going to make a million bucks. I wonder how many of these copies sold. Probably a few, I would imagine. Maybe so this is production gold. I mean, they spent a lot of money on this. They got to get their money back. My name is Rob Malloy.

[Mickey Rooney (archival footage)]

That's right. And nobody else here is named Robin Malloy. There's your.

[Brian Green]

Me too. This. They thought they mailed all of us the invitation only to Rob Malloys.

[Mickey Rooney (archival footage)]

You want to Rob Malloy and I'm Mickey Rooney. And if I walk out and I say, hi, everybody, good evening, my name is Mickey Rooney. Nothing egotistical about that. That's. That's what I've done. For 70 years.

[Brian Green]

I'm known around the world as a roly poly old man.

[Mickey Rooney (archival footage)]

God has let me be in a business that I adore and love and grow up as a child. I. I didn't grow too far though. I guess they kept me underneath the refrigerator. But let me repeat it again.

[Brian Green]

No, that's not a joke. Literally, my parents kept me under the refrigerator.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

They should not be showing that backside. Look at that wedgie of his pants.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, well, listen, when you get that old I don't think you can feel back there anymore. It just all feeling goes away in your lower butt area.

[Mickey Rooney (archival footage)]

Secret to becoming a great actor or actress.

[Brian Green]

Yes, tell us, Mickey.

[Mickey Rooney (archival footage)]

What?

[Brian Green]

He's already told us three of the secrets that are the secret. Do you know what I'm saying?

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Knowing your own individuality.

[Mickey Rooney (archival footage)]

No, the word is you're close.

[Brian Green]

Angel.

[Mickey Rooney (archival footage)]

Erica.

[Brian Green]

What's your name again? Rob Malloy.

[Mickey Rooney (archival footage)]

Accepting your own individuality. See, that's different. That's two different words. One is knowing and the other is accepting. Do you know that a lot of people, it's the toughest thing in their. In the world for them to accept their own individuality, who they are, when that is the most important thing in the world.

[Brian Green]

Why are you yelling at us? I know he's getting into it. Screaming at me like thumbprints.

[Mickey Rooney (archival footage)]

No two are the same ever. And you've got to be proud of that. What's your last name? Erica Landon.

[Brian Green]

Let me hear you say, what if he just goes? What if he just goes. Cut line. Whiskey. Freshen up on the tush. Can I get a pant pulled down over here? Landon.

[Mickey Rooney (archival footage)]

What is your full name?

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Erica Michelle Landon.

[Mickey Rooney (archival footage)]

No, but I don't want you to say Erica Michelle. I want you to. Oh, no, I want you to. I want you to remember we're playing a game like kids. What is your name?

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

My is name. My name is Erica Michelle Landon.

[Mickey Rooney (archival footage)]

That's the way to say it. People want to know who you are. You say, I'm Erica Michelle Landon.

[Brian Green]

How do you do?

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

What's your name again?

[Brian Green]

Brian Green. You're at a bar, some hot girl comes up and she's like, hey, how are you? Good. What's your name? Brian Green. And I'm accepting my own individuality now. I want to.

[Mickey Rooney (archival footage)]

I want to ask a question because it often kind of stumps me. Why would you.

[Brian Green]

What do you sleep in? What color is your underwear?

[Mickey Rooney (archival footage)]

Laugh at that.

[Erica Michelle Landon]

Because you're not used to it.

[Mickey Rooney (archival footage)]

You're not used to accepting your own individuality. Good.

[Brian Green]

Point taken. Teacher's pet.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I know you.

[Mickey Rooney (archival footage)]

You understand thoroughly what I mean and what I've talked about here, about accepting who you are. And you know, when you go for an interview, what's the first thing you think of? Fear. There are five other guys going and you get scared. The idea of going into an interview is to walk into the interviewer, whoever he is or she is.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Positivity of accepting. Listen, you unique and individual.

[Brian Green]

Nothing that Mickey is saying right now is negative.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Delivery.

[Brian Green]

Delivery is outrageous. First of all. And I'd like to point out that while you're talking about a job interview, Mickey, you have never been to one. You have never had a job. You've been working since you were three years old and say, hello, how are you?

[Mickey Rooney (archival footage)]

My name is so and so. You're lucky to have the right guy here because I'm the one to do the part. Well, they never heard anybody talk like that. I know four or five youngsters such as yourself who.

[Brian Green]

One of them's named Donnie Trump. He's a real up and comer. You're gonna meet him soon.

[Mickey Rooney (archival footage)]

Things because they have that attitude. It isn't a fresh attitude to have self confidence.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. Hey, Jim. Hey, how you doing? I'm all right. How are things going? Still living in my car. You got that Casio 3000? Yeah. I got a job for you. You do? Yeah, scoring Mickey Rooney on acting. Well, it's a job. Let's go do it.

[Unidentified Guest]

I was little, we lived in San Diego and we lived in a cul de sac. So me and my sister and our friend from across the cul de sac would play Batman or Nancy Joined the Hardy Boys or Gilligan's island was a big one too. And it just kind of carried over. When I was in school, I did the little school plays. And then in high school it was bigger plays. And then finally at sc it was bigger plays.

[Brian Green]

And then you came to my high school play and here I am, Mickey.

[Unidentified Guest]

And I don't imagine there are huge plays.

[Brian Green]

By the way, this guy looks like he's 42. He's probably 17.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

True.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, it's 1980. He's probably 17.

[Unidentified Guest]

But you know, the scale will go up, I would imagine.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I've always wanted to be a performer for as long as I can remember, but I can't imagine doing anything else but being on stage.

[Brian Green]

Oh, Erica. Let's Fast forward to 2025. Your OnlyFans page is waiting and performing for people.

[Erica Michelle Landon]

I got into acting probably when I was really young because my family was always. My family was in the end, camping.

[Brian Green]

Oh, Brad. Let's Fast forward to 2025. Your OnlyFans page is waiting.

[Erica Michelle Landon]

And I kind of just fell into it. And I started off with Thomas Sawyer in sixth grade, and I had this one line when I was in nursery school. Everyone always remembers that line. And I don't know, I just, I. The only other thing I'd ever want to do besides acting, which is kind of like this long term thing, is like, be the president. And it's, you know, it's a little far fetched.

[Brian Green]

And let's Fast forward to 2025. Your presidency is waiting for you.

[Erica Michelle Landon]

But I figure, you know, Reagan got.

[Brian Green]

To be the president and he acted.

[Erica Michelle Landon]

So I really, I mean, I love acting just to be someone that I'm not as a challenge to different people. It's like you meet different people when you act. You know, you can be anyone.

[Mickey Rooney (archival footage)]

Now there are schools of acting, and I'm not, Please believe me, I'm not knocking anybody.

[Brian Green]

But the rest of them are shit.

[Mickey Rooney (archival footage)]

God forbid. I would never do that. But there are schools you've heard about where they say, we want you to be a chair.

[Brian Green]

You're.

[Mickey Rooney (archival footage)]

Now, you're a desk. Now play like you're a lamp pole. And sure you're laughing. You know why? Because it's all stupid.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

But I'm not knocking it.

[Brian Green]

But I'm not knocking it. God forbid, God forbid I do any knocking of the other schools of thought or acting.

[Mickey Rooney (archival footage)]

All I want you to do is to be you.

[Brian Green]

Did you hear me? You can hear cars driving in the background. They couldn't even. They couldn't even afford an actual studio. He's in a closet in his house.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

He might be like in a storage unit.

[Brian Green]

But I'm Roy Mallory.

[Mickey Rooney (archival footage)]

Nothing fearful about you being you. And you're gonna make it. You're gonna be as big as you want to be. And the only one is gonna. The only one that's gonna stop you from getting and gaining your goal is yourself.

[Brian Green]

Dropping nuggets of wisdom, truth bombs all over the place. The only one that's ever gonna stop you is you. By the way, Chrissy and I have yet to identify anyone in this crowd who went on to do anything notable, anything I've seen. But you know, again, this is not like we don't want to probably a kid when this came out, so I.

[Mickey Rooney (archival footage)]

Don'T know, I'm too simple. Huh?

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Huh?

[Mickey Rooney (archival footage)]

Should it be harder? I'm not trying to be facetious with you.

[Brian Green]

Now.

[Mickey Rooney (archival footage)]

Can you see how easy it.

[Brian Green]

I wonder what the hair and makeup budget was on the. On set. They could have given him a little trim of.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Don't you think it's a little fluffy?

[Brian Green]

He looks like the powder puff guy up top.

[Mickey Rooney (archival footage)]

To become professional, but you must also, in accepting your own individuality, act professionally.

[Brian Green]

Read professionally.

[Mickey Rooney (archival footage)]

You know, a lot of us when we get out of high school or college or this and that, and so it's so tough to read a book. I've got time to read a book. Read good, good. Novels, read, make it.

[Brian Green]

This guy, this guy commented, he's not teaching, he's acting in his own. In his own acting video. And you couldn't be more correct about that. But I have a feeling that this is just Mickey, Mickey's natural state of being. I don't think, I don't think Mickey, I think Mickey walks through life like this. I don't obviously don't know Mickey. I don't know anybody knows Mickey. They're all dead. But I do have to say I. This is kind of how Mickey has always been. He even acts like this in movies and television.

[Mickey Rooney (archival footage)]

Possible that you can read at least one book now. This is not asking too much. Read one book every two months. That'll be six books a year. Because you want this to be fertile all the time. 70 years and I still don't know it all. You never know at all. You have fun with it, but no one knows it all. Anytime you hear somebody that says I know it all, be the first one.

[Brian Green]

To say he just stuck his finger directly in his ear and then shook this girl's hand. It's probably like, oh, lovely. Thanks for that.

[Mickey Rooney (archival footage)]

Nice to have met you. See you later. Nobody knows it all, but the one thing I do know as to how to convey to you how to have fun and dissipate the fear that goes along with, I wonder if I can do it.

[Brian Green]

What does that have to do with reading books, Mickey? You just told them. This is the most disconnected.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Also, he probably, you know, he grew up acting and so then whenever he would go to auditions or things, if he had to audition, he had his name, name recognition already.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, he, he, this guy was famous for right from the get. Yeah, like, I mean, he was literally one of the original og, you know, three year olds that was on set doing movies when like the talking movies had just come out. We're Talking like the 30s, I think, the talkies. That's right, the talkies. And I, he. There wasn't even color when this guy was doing major motion pictures. So he's a legend in his own right. But you know, this is, this is kind of sad to me because this reminds me that at some point we're all just going to be old fuddy duddies trying to make ourselves relevant again. Some of us might already be old fuddy duddies just trying to make ourselves relevant at any time, period, end of sentence.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

But you know, I vow not to wear those pants.

[Brian Green]

Don't wear red Santa pants to a professional acting class. No, don't do It. All right. I promised myself we wouldn't do another hour and 65.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I know we've been getting crazy episodes.

[Brian Green]

We have. We've been going very long. And I know that some people like our. Some of our friends on the streaming chat right now, gotta get back to work. But Chrissy and I will come back in a few minutes. If you're streaming, you know, we'll close out this one. We'll open up another one. If you'd like to join our stream at the commercial break or slash the commercial break on YouTube, subscribe, hit the notifications and you will get notified every time we go live. We're off on the week of Thanksgiving, but happy Thanksgiving. If you're listening to this on Thanksgiving, Happy Thanksgiving.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

And we'll still put out shows on the audio.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, yeah, you'll still hear shows and all that other stuff. We're just trying something new. After five years, we decided to try something new. Shake it up a little bit. Give it. Give it the old jostle. Yeah. So thanks. We're on kick and twitch too. So any of those places you can watch us live. You can download the apps. You can take us with you. You can watch at work. You can watch in the car. Don't watch in the car. You can listen in the car. Don't watch in the car. You end up backing into your own car like Brian did this morning.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Oh, well.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, oh, well. Do us a favor. Share with a friend. That's always a good thing that you can do to help the show out here. Share the show with a friend. Write about us on the Internet. Internet. If you work for the New York Times, you can write up an article. Washington Post, something like that. Write up an article on how great the commercial break is. If you're famous in any way, shape or form. No, I'm kidding. I'd like to spay. A special thanks to Joanna Houseman, our guest last week, Zoltan. All our guests recently have been great. So thanks very much. Joanna, of course, always a fan favorite. I say always. She's been on twice, but both times she seems to be a fan favorite. So thanks. You can link, you can go listen to those episodes, links in the show, notes, all that good stuff. Go follow them. Make sure you're, you know, checking out our guests. They don't come here for their health. They come here to promote stuff. So if you could go check it out. 212-43333. TCB 212-433-3822. Our phone is now working. I will get back to you. Thank you so much. Questions, comments, concerns, content, ideas and tcb, podcast.com all the audio, all the video. More information about Chrissy and your free sticker. Okay, Chrissy, that's all I can do for now.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I think so.

[Brian Green]

I'll say that I love you.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I love you.

[Brian Green]

Best to you. Best to you out there in the podcast streaming universe. Until next time, Chrissy and I will say we do say, and we must say goodbye.

[Mickey Rooney (archival footage)]

5:30.