Ask TCB: Mr Pickles!

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Commercial Break

Episode: Ask TCB: Mr Pickles!
Release Date: August 14, 2026
Hosts: Bryan Green & Krissy Hoadley
Podcast Description: An improv-comedy and variety show, “The Commercial Break” thrives on irreverent, unfiltered banter between longtime best friends Bryan and Krissy. They weave personal anecdotes, listener questions (“Ask TCB”), pop culture takes, and intentionally half-baked advice into a fast-moving, comedic escape.

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Episode Overview

This episode of “The Commercial Break” is a classic “Ask TCB” installment, where Bryan and Krissy field (and riff on) listener questions ranging from neighborhood nudity, a wayward dog’s double life, marital bathroom “offices,” and more. The duo delivers their signature blend of twisted humor, relatable stories, and tangents on the nature of Burning Man, the challenges of aging politicians, and the pitfalls of trademark law—all while poking fun at themselves and their “just fine” podcast.

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Key Discussion Points

1. Neighborhood Nudity Dilemma

[02:54 – 07:44]

• Listener Question: Sherry writes in about her neighbor’s daily nakedness—coffee, vacuuming, even assembling IKEA furniture with the curtains open.
  • Bryan: “At what point does his nudity become my problem? Am I legally allowed to request he wears pants?”
• Hosts’ Take:
  • Bryan suggests leaving a playful note: “Paste a note on your window saying ‘pants?’” (04:01)
  • Both agree there’s little legal recourse without overt lewdness.
  • Chrissy empathizes with the “obsessive” gawking: “I understand the, like, kind of obsessively just checking to see if he’s there... ‘Oh, there he is again.’” (04:32)
  • Bryan jokes about photographic retaliation: “I’d start taking pictures and posting them on his front door. That’s what I’d do.” (04:45)
  • Ultimately, their advice: Communicate directly if it bothers you, or simply close your own curtains.

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2. The Case of Mr. Pickles: Dog with a Double Life

[07:50 – 12:46]

• Listener Question: “Todd” discovers his dog Cooper is slipping through the fence to spend afternoons with an elderly couple, who lavish Cooper with steak, a dog bed, and a new name—Mr. Pickles.
  • Bryan: “Now, when I call Cooper inside, he looks at me like I’m his Uber driver.”
• Hosts’ Perspectives:
  • Chrissy: “Well, steak for a dog… of course they’re going to keep going.” (09:26)
  • Bryan draws a parallel to the film As Good as It Gets—“You’re never gonna beat the bag of bacon. The dog is always gonna love someone else.” (11:32)
• Advice:
  • Open, friendly discussion with the dog-loving neighbors is the only solution.
  • Chrissy: “Get a custody agreement… Do you know this is our dog? Yeah, we’ll share.” (11:46)
  • Bryan: “You can be a good neighbor… maybe instead of tunneling under the fence, you actually bring them over. This could work to your benefit.” (12:03)
  • Additional suggestion: Encourage adoption of a new pet from a shelter.

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3. Bathroom “Office” Wars: Marriage Edition

[12:52 – 16:42]

• Listener Question: “My husband has a bathroom office… he disappears for 45 minutes every morning and night. He’s set up a phone charger, Bluetooth speaker, almost a WeWork space. He says it’s decompression time—I think he’s hiding from the family.”
• Hosts’ Take:
  • Bryan admits lengthy bathroom retreats are common: “All days begin and end with a good shit. And that takes a long time… it’s our meditation… we’re leaking our brains.” (13:02)
  • He empathizes with mothers, but stresses men need solo time too—even if it’s just doomscrolling in solitude.
  • Krissy’s advice: “Don’t get mad, get even—just do the same thing.” (16:07)
  • They agree: It’s healthy for both partners to find their “escape,” even if it’s just in the bathroom.

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4. Burning Man & The Evolution of Festivals

[26:02 – 38:40]

• Bryan and Krissy Discuss: The HBO documentary The Man Will Burn about Burning Man.
  • Origins: From “merry pranksters” burning a wooden effigy on the beach to a massive, expensive, permission-driven “spiritual” event in the desert.
  • Change: Burning Man’s countercultural roots vs. today’s corporate, influencer-driven iteration.
    • Bryan: “Money has started to affect and change the way Burning Man interacts with the world.” (27:15)
    • Krissy: “The art looks incredible. That was part of it I’d kind of forgotten about.” (34:34)
  • The influx of money: Boutique camps, Musk family involvement, high ticket prices, and “glamping.”
    • Bryan: “Is that in the spirit of Burning Man? I don’t know… it’s all about your perspective.” (35:29)
  • Both admit they’re too old (or persnickety) for communal camping—but still see festival culture as potentially transformative.

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5. Aging Politicians & Cognitive Decline

[43:52 – 49:02]

• Tangent: Bryan talks about TikTokers and therapists analyzing politicians’ visible signs of aging and cognitive decline.
  • Trump’s odd leg-slapping, signs of stroke or therapy, and how staff use giant gold-plated direction signs in the White House—to help the President remember where he is.
  • Bryan: “Aging is gonna happen to everybody. But we shouldn’t be talking about this with our president. …We should not be talking about a guy ambling around the White House looking for the bathroom.” (48:46)

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Notable Quotes & Moments

• On neighborly nudity:

  • Bryan: “Unless he’s humping the IKEA furniture, I don’t think…” (04:03)
  • Krissy: “Or the window…” (04:21)

• On dog betrayal:

  • Bryan: “Now, when I call Cooper inside, he looks at me like I’m his Uber driver.” (09:07)
  • Bryan: “You’re never gonna beat the bag of bacon.” (11:32)

• On marriage and bathrooms:

  • Bryan: “That 45 minutes in the bathroom, morning and night, that is our meditation… we’re leaking our brains.” (13:02)
  • Krissy: “Don’t get mad, get even—just do the same thing.” (16:07)

• On festival transformation:

  • Bryan: “There is this constant push and pull about money… Money has started to affect and change the way Burning Man interacts with the world.” (27:15)
  • Krissy: “I need a shower and a toilet at the very least.” (37:45)

• On podcast trademarking woes:

  • Bryan: “At one point I tried to trademark the name The Commercial Break… every trademark attorney in the United States spam-texts me, threatening that another person is using your name and you’ll lose the rights to it.” (18:22)

• On the cognitive testing of politicians:

  • Bryan: “There may need to be an age limit or a test that you take, like a driving test… so that we don’t get into these predicaments anymore.” (46:41)

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Other Memorable Segments & Timestamps

• [18:18 – 21:31] – Bryan’s saga with spammy trademark lawyers and responses like “Go ahead, make my day.”
• [40:15 – 41:40] – “Frankie B” song parody about loneliness, waxing, and failed romance—a callback to their recurring in-show bits.
• [49:56 – 50:41] – Discussion of nuclear missile silo workers and the stress of that responsibility.

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Audience Call-Outs, Running Gags, and Engagement

• Rachel (the “voice of God”/frequent announcer personality) interjects with listener instructions, reminders about free TCB stickers, and meta commentary.
• Multiple jokes about answering DMs “from the toilet,” brain games apps (Luminosity), and loving their ever-shrinking audience.
• They encourage listeners to submit their own “Ask TCB” questions via Instagram DMs.

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How to Contact & Support the Show

• Instagram: @thecommercialbreak
• Website: tcbpodcast.com
• Leave a message: 212-433-3822 (212-4333-TCB)
• Watch on YouTube: The Commercial Break
• Share and follow the show on all major podcast platforms.

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Final Thoughts

The episode serves up classic TCB: ridiculous predicaments, deadpan one-liners, sex and poop jokes, pop culture riffs, and existential asides—all held together by Bryan and Krissy’s easy chemistry. If you’re in need of irreverent banter that feels like eavesdropping on old friends, this episode delivers the “cheesecake factory of comedy podcasts” experience—a whole menu of laughs, detours, and relatable life takes.

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Best To You, TCB Universe!

Transcript

[Brian Green]

On this episode of the commercial break, my dog has apparently been cheating on us. We found out he's been sneaking through a hole in a fence and spending afternoons with an elderly couple three houses down the street. When you told your story the other day about Blue always being in the neighbor's yard, it made me think of this. Only we actually like our dog. Okay, okay, smartass. They feed him steak. They bought him a dog bed. And they have renamed him what? Okay. His real name is Cooper and they are calling him Mr. Pickles. Mr. Pickles. The next episode of the commercial break starts now. Yeah, boy. Oh, yeah. Cats and kittens, welcome back to the commercial break. I'm Brian Green. This is my dear friend and the co host of this show, Chris and Joy Hoadley. Best to you, Chris.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Best to you, Brian.

[Brian Green]

Best to you out there on the podcast and streaming audience. Thanks for joining us today. We really appreciate it. What was it called? Daniel Point.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Daniel Point.

[Brian Green]

Daniel Point. Improv. That's right. Ah, the long, misspent days of our youth, Chrissy.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

We came up with a whole thing.

[Brian Green]

We had a whole shticked. Yeah, we were gonna do a whole thing. I think we even practiced it one time. We were like thinking about this. We some thoughts. Hindsight. I'm glad we didn't go through with it, but, you know, I think it would have been a thing that people probably would have remembered. Maybe not fondly, but definitely would have remembered. That is for sure, Chrissy. That is for sure. All right, well, here we are. I think I have a couple of ass tcbs. You want me to turn?

[Chrissy Hoadley]

I say we go for them.

[Brian Green]

Let's go for it. Let me see. I put these in. I put these into chat simply. Simply to protect the names and faces. So I asked it to rip out any identifying information. I don't want you to come back and sue me. We don't have great insurance here. Do we have insurance here? I don't even know if we have insurance here. Somebody was asking me the other day, do you have E and O insurance? And I'm like, Maybe. Let me ask geico. Let me ask the general. The general is where I get my insurance. Hey, I know somebody with that general coverage and they pay a very little. However, with my two super speeder tickets, tickets in less than a day, then I'm not gonna get good coverage. Okay, here we go. Brian and Chrissy. I'm not even. Well, let's make up a name. This is Sherry. Sherry.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Hey, Sherry.

[Brian Green]

Hey, Sherry. Hey. Brian and Chrissy. Love the show. Longtime listener, big fan. But my neighbor across the street walks around his house completely naked. Just like you were talking about a couple of weeks ago, Brian. It's constant. The curtains wide open. Morning coffee. Naked. Vacuuming naked. Once I saw him assembling IKEA furniture. Naked.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

No, no. Trash.

[Brian Green]

Yes. Which somehow felt a bit aggressive to me. My wife, or excuse me, my wife, I think she's married. My wife says I need to stop looking at this man. It's becoming obsessive. I say he should put some curtains in the damn windows. At one point, does his nudity become my problem? And am I legally allowed to request he wears pants? Well, I don't know what the legality of this is. I'm not a lawyer. I just play one at work. I would share with you that I think it would be appropriate to paste a note on your window saying pants, question mark.

[Rachel]

Right.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Did you forget those?

[Brian Green]

Yeah. Did you forget those? Like, if it's becoming such a problem, if you're living in New York, this is just the way of the world. I don't think there's much anybody can do about any of this. I mean, unless they're being. Yeah, unless they're being offensive about it. Like, unless he's like, you know. Yeah, that's right. Unless he's humping the IKEA furniture, I don't think.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Or the window.

[Brian Green]

Or the window, which would be. Take a video, send it to us, would be interesting. I don't think there's. I don't know what you can do about that.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

I don't think you can.

[Brian Green]

I think you put, you put the curtain.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

I understand, but I understand the, like kind of obsessively just checking to see if he's there, if he's gloves on. Oh, there he is again. There he is again.

[Brian Green]

Hopefully he's handsome and he's working with a package. You know what I'm saying? I mean, it may not necessarily be your thing, but you know what I would do? I'd start taking pictures and like post, like printing them out and posting them on his front door. That's what I would do.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yeah. Just be like, we can see this. This is what we see.

[Rachel]

Yeah.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

In case you think you have, you know, one way windows now.

[Brian Green]

The interesting part is I think I don't even know if I want to give this identity. I know that she's from a big city, so I am wondering if this is a house or if this is like you're seeing this like apartment to apartment or condo to condo, like in a big building. Because I'm also experiencing the same thing in New York. And to be fair, some people on the other side of the street are experiencing the same thing with me.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Right.

[Brian Green]

So sometimes I feel like I want to close the curtains and sometimes I just don't give a fudge. I'm like, whatever. Now I'm not like fully buck naked, like, you know, right in front of the window, but I did leave the curtains open. Yeah. My morning coffee, I do that. I don't even want to see that. You know what I'm saying? I'm a get the towel right out of the shower kind of guy.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

I don't think there's any legal recourse here. I think you can certainly call the cops and then you're going to be kind of a dick neighbor. But I would think the best course of action is just to like, put either put a sign up that says, hey, can you wear pants? Or go talk to the guy.

[Rachel]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

Like be like, hey, listen, we're okay with a little nudity here and there. No one here is a prude. But what I'm requesting is a little bit of decency. Like morning coffee, IKEA furniture. Do we need to be nude for that? Like out of the shower, walking to get your clothes on. Understood. Got it.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

You know, or be nude and close the curtains.

[Brian Green]

Yes. I am a never nude myself.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

That is my thing.

[Brian Green]

Never nude. One of my kids is a full nudist. Oh yeah, full nudist. Loves to be nude all the time out by the pool. Wants to pull his pants down and jump in the pool. I mean, the, the kid is just loves to be free. He loves his. And listen, he, he got what his daddy gave him, so, you know, nothing, nothing to shy away from there. It's a full inch and a half right there. But I, I get the urge to be naked. I understand that for some people that's just the way it is. I dated a girl one time. You know her because we both went to the police station, I think one time to get a restraining order on her.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Right?

[Brian Green]

That's a wild story.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yes.

[Brian Green]

But she was like not a nudist. But whenever we would get to my house, the clothes came off almost instantaneously and they didn't go back on until we were ready to go out. Like, she was always walking around in like a very see through thong or nothing whatsoever, which was fine by me. And the house that I lived in there, you know, the neighbors weren't like, they were sitting right on top of us, but we had curtains like, you wouldn't see. But I don't think there's much to be done here. I mean, you just. You got one of those kind of weird neighbors that likes to be nude.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

So you could start sending, like, you know, putting flyers in the mailbox for window coverings.

[Brian Green]

That's what I would do. Oh, yeah, that's a good idea. Send over a blinds salesperson, like, you know, one of those veneer, like lumineers, whatever they call them. Send over one of those salespeople, like, docs them with a curtain appointment. Yeah, that's what I would do. And then maybe you'll get some traction over that. Okay, uh, let's say this is Todd. He writes that his dog has chosen another family. My dog has apparently been cheating on us. We found out he's been sneaking through a hole in a fence and spending afternoons with an elderly couple three houses down the street. When you told your story the other day about Blue always being in the neighbor's yard, it made me think of this. Only we actually like our dog.

[Rachel]

Okay.

[Brian Green]

Okay, smartass. They feed him steak. They bought him a dog bed. And they have renamed him What? Okay. His real name is Cooper, and they are calling him Mr. Pickles.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Mr. Pickles, that's a crazy comedy on. What's the adult comedy? Adult swim.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, Mr. Pickles. Now, when I call Cooper inside, he looks at me like I'm his Uber driver. I don't know what to do. I want to confront these people. I want to fix the fence. Or should I just accept that my dog has another family and is living his best life? That's a tough one, man. I get it.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Well, steak for a dog. I mean, that's. Of course they're going to, of course, continue to keep going.

[Brian Green]

We. One of a movie that I love terribly is called as Good as It Gets with Jack Nicholson. It's a wonderful movie. It's a sappy love story, and it's well played by everybody. And he has some of the greatest lines ever in a romantic rom com. And of course, one of them is you. Complete me. Right? We all know that one. We've all been there. But the other one is when the. So in case you don't know about this movie, I'm sure you. It's so many years old. It's like 40 years old, 30 years old. There's a gay neighbor. Jack Nicholson is a OCD obsessed, weird author that basically is a hermit. He spends all of his time in his house, and when he goes somewhere, he's got to have his own forks and utensils. He's a very odd, particular, peculiar kind of man. However, there. The gay neighbor across the way is an artist, and he has a dog. And the dog loves Jack Nicholson, the character that Jack Nicholson is playing. He loves him. He comes up to him every time he wants to cuddle with him, all this other stuff. But he. But Jack Nicholson is very mean to the gay neighbor. He, like, doesn't like human beings, but he likes this dog. So the character, the gay man gets beat up in a terrible incident, and he ends up in the hospital for a long period of time. And they can't find someone to watch the dog. So Jack Nicholson, reluctantly, his character agrees to take the dog in. And he takes the dog in. And when the gay man gets out of the hospital, the dog wants to pay no attention to his original owner. He only likes Jack. Jack Nicholson. He wants to sit next to him. He wants to be at his feet, wants to be there. And at the end of the movie, the gay man is crying, and he says, see what I've done with my life? No one likes me. I'm not really loved. Blah, blah, blah. It's like this whole sappy moment, and he goes, my dog doesn't even like me. He likes you, and you're the worst human being I've ever met. And out from his pocket, Jack Nicholson's character pulls a bag of bacon. And he says, you dummy, I've had bacon in my pocket the entire time. Of course the dog loves me. So, you know, it's hard to beat the bag of bacon. That's all I gotta say. You're never gonna beat the bag of bacon. The dog is always gonna love someone else. The dog is what the dog is. He's Pavlovian. He's gonna love that bacon.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

But I would definitely talk to the

[Brian Green]

neighbors and say, get a custody agreement.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Do you know that this is our dog? Like, yeah, we'll share.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, let's share. I'll take them Tuesdays and Thursday. Yeah, we need to keep the same. Don't confuse the fucking dog.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yeah, yeah.

[Brian Green]

Don't confuse the fucking dog.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

We can share.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, I agree. That's. I think there's a real simple thing here. You can be a good neighbor. They can be good neighbors. We can all share in the dog. You know, maybe instead of tunneling under the fence, maybe you can just, like, actually bring them over for a little. Hey, listen, this could be good. You got to go on vacation. You've got. You got doggy daycare. You need to go out. You run out for an event and you're going to be gone late or for many hours. Take the dog over there. This can be a really. You can work this in your benefit, but there you do have to set some ground rules first. And it's all about communication and transparency. I know you're trying to be funny here, but at the end of the day, if this is a real sit and you're really going through this, I just go talk to the elderly neighbors. They want some company. They like your dog. You know, I guess it's good your dog is liked by more than one person. Which is not something I can say about my dog. So there you go.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

There's also a lot of dogs in shelters that need help.

[Brian Green]

Absolutely.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

They maybe suggest that to the neighbors.

[Brian Green]

Absolutely. Okay. And finally, my husband has a bathroom office is how I summarize this. Because every man has a bathroom office. This is just the way of the world. When you are a man, your solitude, all things emanate. All days begin and end with a good shit. And that takes a long time. It's not like a five minute thing. It's an hour thing. And Astrid bust my balls about this all the time. Or at least she did for the first six years of our marriage until we had children. The first two, three years of our marriage until we had children. Now, I've noticed that Astrid has also taken to being in the bathroom for long periods of time. I know what's going on in there. That's right. I thought I was the one with the long bathroom breaks. And now we're both doing it. My husband disappears into the bathroom for almost 45 minutes every morning and every night. He claims he's quote unquote using the bathroom. But I recently discovered he put a phone charger. Near the water closet and is snaking it in so that he doesn't run out of cell phone batter. And the other day I found a Bluetooth speaker on the back, like on a shelving unit behind the toilet. I swear to God, I'm waiting for the tiny folding table to come out. He's essentially opened up a wework space inside of our guest bathroom. He says it's his decompression time. I say he's running away from the family six feet at a time. Who's right? Who's wrong? How do we settle this? You don't. This is it. This is the man's. This is. Listen, being a mother, I assume that you're a mother because you're saying you're running away from the family, I assume that your mother being a mother, there is no job on earth like that. None. Zero. It takes all the time and energy. It changes you fundamentally, physically, emotionally, spiritually. It changes who you are as a human being. And not in the easier way, in the much, much harder way. And life was already pretty difficult. If you, if you were born with a vagina, you got the shit end of the. You. You. Not the shit end of the stick. You got the tough end of the stick, let's put it that way. So being a mother, there's no comparison. There's no comparison. So please don't take this as me having an ism here, but I will share that. Guys, we have our own version of what this looks like. We have our own solitary struggles that we go through. We often don't share the pain or the emotional suffering that we're feeling or the stress or whatever. That 45 minutes in the bathroom, morning and night, that is our meditation because we get to go in there, we get to do whatever, look at whatever article, dumb article about, you know, war torn, far flung places, or get to watch stupid videos explaining to us how, you know, scientific theories work or just look at girls in bikinis. Let's just be honest about it. All of that stuff allows our brains to leak a little bit. That's what's going on in there. We're leaking our brains of all the stress and strife and suffering that we're feeling. Because being a father and being a family guy and, you know, having some of that stuff on your shoulders can be also a challenge. So where I would say, don't get mad, get even, just do the same thing. I was going to say, you can't say anything.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

He's already got things set up and they're for you.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, he's got a Bluetooth speaker. Bluetooth speaker. What is he doing listening to Spotify in there? I bring my headphones. I don't want anybody hearing what I'm hearing. Like, you know, I'm watching Perez Hilton slice himself. I don't get mad, get even. That's how you do this, right? That is the sign of a healthy marriage, is that you go behind somebody's back, you do exactly what they're doing and just wait like a little lion in the, in the Serengeti, waiting to pounce on them when they say something. That is a good marriage. Okay.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yeah. At least I guess he's actually in the house.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, that's true. He's not in a strip club or something. You know, at the bar and hanging out. I mean, I don't know, maybe he's doing that too. But listen, you can only have one of those things if you're a guy. You can only have your hour long bathroom time, your hour long bar time, or your hour long strip club time, if that's acceptable to your circumstances. You can only have one of those vices. Like if I still golfed, I could not have an hour in the bathroom every morning. No way. Because I'm doing four hours on the weekend, six hours on the weekend, golfing. But I don't golf. I poop. That's what I do. And I'm not saying I poop every time. I'm just saying that I'm in there. Please leave me alone. Yeah, but you know what the truth is, if you have a family with small children, they don't leave you alone in there anyway. You think the bathroom is some kind of. You know, there's like an old adage like how we all remember our father's farts. We all remember our father's farts because we're literally in the bathroom with them. Because that's what you do when you're a kid. You just find your father and you. Dad, someone's bothering me. Okay, Can I have a few minutes? Is that acceptable? I mean, when they're like real little, you can kind of get it because they don't understand, like, you know, but now my kids are getting a little bit older and they're still like coming in the bat and I'm like, guys, I'm literally on the toilet and you have questions for me like, this is not this life. Advice doesn't come naturally to me when I'm sitting like this. Can we do this a different way at a different time in a different part of the house? I certainly would appreciate it. All right, let's do this. Let's take a. We're going to take a short break. We're going to take about a 10 minute break. I got to make a quick phone call. When we get done with that phone call will be back. Hang in there. You're listening to the commercial break.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

The one and only.

[Brian Green]

Well, not the one and only, but this.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

The.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, the. You know, I have a few minutes, so I'll share this with you. It is the. It is the one and only. The. The. That's right. The. The commercial break. It is the one only. I will share with you that. So at one point I tried to trademark the name the commercial Break. And I spent like $2,000 on this. And the attorney came back, and the UTPSO office came back and it said, no, you cannot trademark a common use name like the commercial break. It's just. It's too common. You can't do it. It's like, you can't trademark the word. And because everybody uses it. Right? Okay. It's a phrase that everybody uses, has been using for a long time. You cannot trademark it. But because I put that application in now, every trademark attorney in the entirety of the United States is so desperate, I think the trademark business is terrible because they're so desperate to get another thousand dollars out of me that they text me, spam texts, constantly threatening that another person in the universe is using your name, and you are soon going to lose the rights to it. And we will send a cease and desist unless you respond immediately within 24 hours. So I've started responding. Do you know what I respond? Go ahead, make my day. Like, I'm just like, go ahead, do your thing. Knock yourself out, kid. Like, I. I'm starting getting smartassy with these guys. And so the other day, one of these guys text me, and it's like, you know this whole spiel about how, you know, soon we're going to lose the rights to the name. Great. If we lose the rights, the name will change the name. I don't give a shit. You know, except for the sign, the commercial rake, you know, so the commercial reek actually is what that would be.

[Caller/Listener]

Right? Okay.

[Brian Green]

All right. So I say, hey, listen, I hope your client gets the trademark. Congratulations. Sounds like things are on their way. He even named the client's name, which, of course, they're not going to do that. They're attorneys. And so he responds, yes, I want to make sure that you don't. That you don't lose the rights to this name. So just let me know and I can pick up where you left off. And so I said, I'm no lawyer. I respond, I'm no attorney, but isn't it bad for your current client that you're advising another human being that's not your client to do something that would harm your client? Isn't that against, like, kind of lawyerly principles?

[Caller/Listener]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

And he responds, well, I'm just trying to be fair to you. And I said, but what about your client? And he goes, well, you were first. And I go, but I'm not your client. What about your client? And he said, well, my client will just have to understand that now I'm working with you and I'm Like, I go, no offense. Even if I was likely to engage you in this project, I don't think you're a very good attorney. And would you go to the next person and cheat on me?

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yes.

[Brian Green]

Like, is there another person out there with the commercial break? I'm not. I can't be the first one to have tried to trademark this name. And so I was like, I just think you're going to cheat on me, and I don't want to start a relationship like that. So fuck you.

[Rachel]

He was.

[Brian Green]

He just kept going. And I was like, people have so much time on their hands. Like me. Like me. I was quite frank. I had so much time on my hands.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

In the bathroom.

[Brian Green]

In the bathroom. That's right. All right, give us a few minutes. Let me, you know, call back my stressing mother, and then we'll.

[Rachel (Voice of God)]

Okay. You're probably wondering why I, Rachel, have taken over the voice duties at tcb. It's pretty simple. Astrid asked me to shut Brian up, even for a minute. Well, lovely Astrid, your wish is my command. Do you want to help Astrid, too? You know you do. Leave a message for her or me or Chrissy at 212-4333, TCD. That's 212-433-3822. You can be on the show, too. Just call and say something, anything. Or text us, and we'll text you right back. Promise. Then head over to tcbpodcast.com and get your free sticker. It's your constitutional right to a sticker, and we must abide. You get the point? Follow us on Instagram at the commercial break and watch all the episodes on [e-mail] TheCommercialBreak Best to you and Astrid. Especially Astrid.

[Caller/Listener]

Just a guy who rants. Not funny at all. The co host is a sick sleep. She's pretty dark. People like the show. Why are they on the charts? What's the fuck are you talking about? I showed it off with suicide. TCV is terrible. This show is fucking bad. I'd like to punch Ryan in the mouth. This podcast is kind of sad. Is this what we think is funny now how do I turn it off? My ears are saying ow. Stop laughing at yourself. Are these two making sense? At least I didn't pay. I am deaf in my defense. TPB is terrible. That is being kind. Both the hosts are idiots. They left the funny behind. What is this show about? It's offensive to my soul. Brian is a ha. These two aren't funny and so old. Why all the hype? How did this get made so many episodes, none of which are great. TCB is terrible. Worst show you could do. TCB is terrible. Worst to you.

[Brian Green]

All right, never mind. Call got canceled. There you go. Call not needed. There you go. Love those girls. Those girls are just amazing. I. I gotta load those new songs in because two of them are really funny. I made like five of them, but two of them are, like, really funny. I was actually listening to them on the plane the other day and I was like, oh, yeah. But then I tried to. Look, I gotta. I gotta fix the connection. How stable this studio has been for the last year is quite remarkable, really. We have not had. Besides my earphones going out, we have not had one major technical fuck up in almost a year. Except for the fact that I have

[Chrissy Hoadley]

hours that we caught.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. I scheduled our episodes to go out a month from now. Besides that, everything. Everything has been good. So. So I wanted to tackle a question. Hold on one second. I wrote this down and I want to make sure I get it right here. Give me one second. I can hear those.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Sorry, I was eating a quick protein bar because you said you were going to breakfast.

[Brian Green]

I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Now I'm like, crunchy.

[Brian Green]

I'm being an idiot.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Chocolate and peanuts.

[Brian Green]

I wanted to. You saw. You saw the Odyssey, right?

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yes.

[Brian Green]

Okay. Have you been watching the documentary on Burning man called the Man Will Burn?

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yes, I have.

[Brian Green]

Okay. Fascinating.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Right? I thought the same thing.

[Brian Green]

Have you ever been to Burning Man?

[Chrissy Hoadley]

No.

[Brian Green]

No.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

And nor do I have a real desire to go.

[Brian Green]

I don't now. Back then. Yes. Now. No. And because it looks like it's kind of fundamentally changed and is something that I don't know that I would. Well, first of all, I'm like, very old and like, the thought of getting sand in my ass.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yeah. That's the thing.

[Brian Green]

For a week. Doesn't sound. That is like the number one thing I think, that holds me back now. I was talking to some people about the Man Will Burn. I have friends that are close to the Burning man situation. I recently had an opportunity to meet the CEO of. Of Burning man very briefly.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

She's featured prominently in that documentary.

[Brian Green]

Yes. The person. A person that I know went to the, like, the red carpet premiere of the series, and she was in our office for just a very brief period of time, but same personality on the screen as. As you see in real life.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

She's pretty straightforward.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. And. And to. And to her credit, she's like, go ahead, fire me. What the fuck do I care? Like, you know, yeah, I've been doing this for so long that I. I don't know, you could do it without me. Number one. And number two, whatever. Here's the interesting thing about the Man Will Burn. And I encourage you to go watch it even if you don't have any interest in Burning Man. And here's why. It is a macrocosm of the microcosm in this sense. There is this constant push and pull about the. About money is really what it. What it boils down to. This idea of Burning man, for those of you that don't know, was created by a number of people who were literally just kind of merry pranksters.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

In the San Francisco area, they were just running around doing pranks, videotaping them being clowns, having like, you know, I wouldn't say. I don't call it improv comedy. It's more of like realism theatrics. They were out on the streets doing these kind of weird and wild things. It was this just like Pee Wee Herman, just like Paul Rubens would do, right? This very esoteric, do what you want, create pranks, do drama, like be on the streets. No theater can contain us. Kind of attitude and vibe. And the guy who started Burning man, the guy who's responsible, according to most people, for. For Burning man, just like literally had an idea one day and he was like, let's build a wooden dude and let's burn him in effigy on the.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

On the beach.

[Brian Green]

That's it. And so they built like a six foot tall wooden Burning Man. They poured some gasoline on it, set it on fire. And a couple hundred people showed up. Yeah. Had a party. A couple hundred people showed up. And they even say it. It wasn't the Burning man that made it what it was. It was the reaction by the people around. They gave it meaning. They said, oh, it's a cleansing. It's a, you know, I'm watching something happen that's like reigniting something in me and cleansing something from me. And the fire is cathartic and all this other stuff. And that led to this. Now what we have, which is a very elaborate city that is set up every year and serves the purpose spiritually for a lot of people. Serves the purpose to party for a lot of people. Serves the purpose to have sex sexually for a lot of people. This is just a wild and meaningful event for a lot of people and then not for a lot of other people. Right. But the thing is, is that the price of admission has now become prohibitive to maybe people Who? And I can't. I don't want to say that not everybody could use it because I do think that everybody could use this kind of experience in their life at least once, if not yearly, if not every month, if not every day. Right. But I will say that, like, you can see as you're watching this documentary how money has started to affect and change the way that Burning man interacts with the world and the way that the world interacts with Burning Man. And one of the other prominent people that is featured in this is Elon Musk's brother, who is now become like a financial benefactor. Not benefactor, but someone who is giving money to Burning man and then wants to pull the strings around what happens up to and including getting rid of the CEO that's currently there because he doesn't feel she's doing it the right way. He felt very upset that they didn't have Burning man for two years because of COVID even though he put in a lot of money and he wanted it to happen. Well, Burning man still did happen. Even even though they didn't have an official Burning man, it still had people out there in the desert doing that. But you can just see how this Musk is like trying to manipulate the world in his favor because he has the means to do so while he's

[Chrissy Hoadley]

sitting there cross legged with his flowing pants.

[Brian Green]

With his flowing garments.

[Caller/Listener]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

And talking about how spiritually, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. It's all performative as far as I'm concerned, on behalf of this Musk brother. And you know that his brother is behind this, right? What did the, what did the brother Musk do? Is he a part of anything? Did he start PayPal? Elon Musk didn't even start. But Elon Musk started nothing. He didn't start PayPal. He got in on PayPal. He didn't start Tesla. He got in on Tesla. He didn't start SpaceX. He got in on SpaceX. And he certainly didn't start Twitter. He got in on Twitter. That is how this all went down. Just to be reminded, I have no problem with someone operating in that way and making their, their living that way. I have no issue with that. I am not a, a classist in that sense. What I do feel is problematic is that, you know, like this lady said in one of the interviews that she did on this show, she's like, if you want rich white men to ruin Burning Man, God bless you, go ahead, do it right. And that seems to be the angle that's happening. But you Know Burning Man's very expensive to put on. How much money do they pay that block, that, that, that. That BLM?

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

I mean, the Bureau of Land Management. $13 million a year. 13 million DOL. Gear. Holy shit.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

They have to build all of that city. They have quite a few permanent employees.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, permanent employees. They build the city every year. It's an expensive thing to put on, and people love it. It's like. Transforms their life. I know so many people that have transformed their life. I went for a day and a half one time. It was like. It was transformative in just the 48 hours I was there.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

See, that's what I would maybe do is go for like, one night.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. We just were not prepared. I went with a guy who had been going. His brother was like, one of the guys that was out on that beach. His older brother was like one of the guys that was out on that beach, the original. So his brother's probably in his 60s now. But this guy Pat was much younger than. He was, like the youngest. And this guy was the oldest in a family of like seven or something like that. And Pat was just wild. The wildest guy you knew. He was one of these guys who would be a married prankster. And he invited a couple of us to go, and we did. And the two people that came with Pat were wholly unprepared. And Pat was wholly unprepared to help us be wholly unprepared. You know what I'm saying?

[Chrissy Hoadley]

You have to be very prepared.

[Brian Green]

Very prepared.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

There's no money.

[Brian Green]

You can't exchange money. So if you need something, you better have something to trade or you better. You better rely on the good graces of the people around you. And it just like. I enjoyed the first 24 hours. The next 13 were not so pleasant as I was dirty, hot, sweaty, tired. No place to lie. My head. I mean, there were places to lie your head. Of course there were, but it wasn't my place. So I felt like I was just, like, imposing on people. It was weird, but I got what was going on. I enjoyed the idea of it. I thought that it was something cool that I would like to go back and revisit. But then it just became something completely, completely different. So now it's this huge festival with all these art installations and flashing lights.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

The art looks incredible.

[Brian Green]

The art's incredible. Yeah, the art is incredible.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

That was part of it that I guess kind of forgot about that. It was like a really. A big arts festival.

[Brian Green]

World's largest interactive art festival. Yeah.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

And the art was incredible. But yeah, I mean, you know, in recent years too, it's been the flooding and people are trapped and then there was a murder, and then there's this and that, the other. So, you know, I.

[Brian Green]

It's a city. Yeah, it's a city with all the city problems. And like, now they're debating with themselves. You know, we bought into this literally physically with. With cash. We are buying into this. Every year is this. We can't back out now. We can't just like now all of a sudden decide we're not. We're not doing money. I love how they're like. They're also trying to. The people who. What do they call them? The people who set up the camps for you? They call. They have a name, they have a term for them. There's like all these, like, boutique concierge places that now will get you a space and set it up exactly like you want.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

Air conditioning, three room con, three room tent, you know, bed carpet, full accoutrements, a private chef. They'll clean up after you. You don't do a thing. You show up on your private plane. You walk in, you walk out, you do it like that. Right. And they're desperately trying to clamp down on this, but they can't because that is the way of the world. And is that wrong? No, I guess not. Unless you have rules against it, right? I guess not. If some people can afford to do that, they're going to do that. I would do that if I could afford to do that. If I could take my private plane in and get a three room condo tent with air conditioning and the best food I've eaten in a month and then not have to deal with the elements, then go party. That's right. When I wanted to on my timeline and not have to worry about a fucking thing. Of course I would do that, and you would too. That's the truth. 99% of us would. But is that in the spirit of the Burning Man? I don't know what the spirit of Burning man is. It is what you make of it. It is what you make of it. It's all about your perspective. But there it's clear that money is starting to shape these things. It's just like that fucking God damn. What do we. What is that? Coachella that I. That drives me crazy. I mean, that Coachella drives me crazy. Not because of the people that play there. Artists. Great. It's because it's this like multi billion dollar event that now is so fucking expensive that you either have to be an influencer with a million followers to get a ticket or you have to pay $72,000 to show up in one of the two weekends just to enjoy the festival, which is not a festival. It's just a picture taking conference with other influencers. That's what it is. Used to mean something to play Coachella now or be at Coachella. It doesn't mean anything anymore. It's just, you're just there to show off your outfit. It's a fit check for everybody. And that part drives me fucking crazy. Chrissy, Brian, go check out my Instagram. BrianWgreen

[Chrissy Hoadley]

yeah, I mean I think there's still. The documentary to me was fascinating and parts of me were like, oh yeah, maybe I should have gone at some point and checked this whole thing out and then. But I'm not a big camper is the thing. Some people are and all Power to you.

[Brian Green]

I'm not the only reason.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

I need a shower and a toilet at the very least.

[Brian Green]

Me too. A toilet at the very, very least.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

And that can get me through maybe two days. Right. But I am so persnickety when it comes to my hygiene that I start getting real fussy. So that's why when I go to the party in the woods, when I've been to the party in the woods in the past, when I'm there for three, four, five days, there are showers. There are more like, you know, hoses where you're naked in front of everybody else washing yourself. But okay, at least there's that. Right? But also I'm so drunk or high I don't give a fuck. Like that's the other thing is you have to be in that state. Yeah. Of mind. Where I don't really need to sleep in a tent because I don't need to sleep. Do you know what I'm saying? That is how it works best. And if you ask me, it's just be so tore up from the floor up that it doesn't matter. And then that also can be a transformative experience also. Yeah. Who doesn't want to throw up in the woods? All right, let's take a short.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Or in the desert.

[Brian Green]

Or in the desert. Can you imagine? All right. No open toed shoes in New Orleans. Says the guy that I follow. Who? I'll talk about that in a second. It's a good one. It's a good one. And it's one that my wife told me that the first time we went down there together and I was wearing flip flops and she was like, no, but no, don't do that, Brian. And I was like, why? She's like, rats, pee, poop, puke. Let me name all the other things that are on the ground in New Orleans. All right, we'll be back.

[Rachel (Voice of God)]

Hey, it's Rachel, your new voice of God here on tcb. And just like you, I'm wondering just how much longer this podcast can continue. Let's all rejoice that another episode has made it to your ears. And I'll rejoice that my check is in the mail. Speaking of mail, get your free TCB sticker in the mail by going to tcbpodcast.com and visiting the Contact Us page. You can also find the entire commercial break library audio and video, just in case you want to look at [e-mail]. want your voice to be on an episode of the show? Leave us a message at 212-4333, TCB. That's 212-433-3822. Tell us how much you love us and we'll be sure to let the world know on a future episode. Or you could make fun of us. That'd be fine, too. We might not air that, but maybe. Oh, and if you're shy, that's okay. Just send a text. We'll respond. Now. I'm gonna go check the mailbox for payment while you check out our sponsors, and then we'll return to this episode of the Commercial Break.

[Rachel]

I've been putting in the work I've been working out hard I've been trying my best to make it this far I've been driving so fast I've been living so tough I've been waxing my balls Will it ever be enough? Why won't you look at my body? Why do you cheat on me? Don't you love my money on my san on suite I'm such a lonely Frankie B. I've seen a lot of action I I've been around the world But I just can't find a lady who wants to be my girl I've been getting new hair plugs I've never been so tan I'm living with my daughter eating tuna from a can why won't you look at my body? Why do your friends hate me? Don't I impress you, honey with my san I'm sweets I'm such a lonely Frankie baby I know we could be lovers I know I'm just your type why don't you come to my place? I'll protect your face Please, girl, swipe right

[Caller/Listener]

Y.

[Rachel]

Bright.

[Brian Green]

Brad Pitt says he's drinking again.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

I saw that.

[Brian Green]

That's crazy.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

What? After seven years?

[Brian Green]

Yeah. Why would you admit that? Just keep that to yourself.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

I guess he asked the interviewer if the interviewer wanted a glass of wine.

[Brian Green]

Oh, okay. Well, then there you go. That just kind of takes the cat out of the bag right there, doesn't it? No Rest for the Weary with Brad Pitt. Listen, some people probably shouldn't just shouldn't drink, I guess. I don't know. I mean, he owns a vineyard, so, like, you know, I guess you're gonna have to drink at some point. It's part of your job technically. But I mean, you know, you feel bad for the children of that marriage because they're adopted. First of all, you know, I don't. I have had friends who are adopted. They are like one of the guys that I know that the first person I ever knew that was adopted is one of the most well adjusted human beings I have ever met in my entire life. He's like a family psychologist. He's well known. He's like, you know, written studies that people study themselves. He's very. He's done very well for himself. But I do have to imagine that adoption comes with its own set of emotional and spiritual challenges. Right? And then you get adopted into the most famous family ever. And then your dad ends up being kind of a dick. And then he gets sober and you think, well, okay, maybe there's a chance here. And then now he's telling Esquire magazine, now I'm gonna drink again.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Well, but I don't think there is a chance with the kids. They've all dropped his name. So maybe he was finally like, fuck it, they all hate me anyways.

[Brian Green]

Damn, that's gotta be like. I don't know if I'm Brad. I'm beside my. Really. I mean, listen, when you have a billion dollars and, you know, you take your private jet wherever you want, I guess I can help ease the pain a little bit, I suppose. I don't know. If I had a private jet, I'd get out of here too. That's what I do.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Go to Burning Man.

[Brian Green]

I'd go to Burning Man. I would, I swear to God. Because I just sleep on the jet. That's what I do. Yeah, I just sleep on the jet. I'd have like a little shout, like a little portable shower. And I'd shower off before I went upstairs. And then I just go upstairs and, you know, sleep it off. Bitcoin, you See President Trump, like batting his leg. Have you seen this?

[Chrissy Hoadley]

No.

[Brian Green]

People have started to note. There's all. There's like a whole niche cottage industry. One of them is epistemus crisis, episteme crisis or something. This guy has gotten. I started following him when he had like 15,000 followers, and now he's getting close to a million followers. And he is a guy who works with people who have dementia, elderly people. That's what he does. He's like a therapist, right? He is a board certified dementia and whatever you call it, therapist. And he has now made a channel where he just dedicates every piece of content to talking about the politicians in office who are clearly showing signs of elderly, of aging, including dementia. And obviously Trump is a target of his now make no. But he says, I was maga. I voted Trump the first time I was fully invested. I was in on it. I was part of a church. That church was in on it. I was in on it. And then one day I woke up and I just realized, holy shit, what's going on here? And he's like talking about pointing out specific things that the president, people like Mitch McConnell and other people are doing that clearly are showing signs of aging and dementia. And so now there's a whole cottage. He's like the most famous of them, I think, online. But there's like a whole cottage industry now that has popped up of people just talking about the President's health. It's clearly, it's a concern. Just like it was with Biden, by the way. Biden was the same fucking way. I'm not going to try and pretend that anything was even better. Was much better there. Yeah, we all saw that debate. He was not home. Like, President Biden was not there. But President Trump, when he, when he's, when he walks, he hits his leg, right? He like slaps his leg. Okay. And when he, when he, when he goes to sign stuff, he like bends down in a weird way where one leg is like over like this. He's clearly not doing well with, like, weight management. I mean, he's a guy who's just, he's kind of. He's old. He's old. We're all gonna get there. Like, I'm not. There's, there's nothing, there's no shame in that. You know, it's not something he can control. He's getting old, but his mind is kind of melting away. And one of the things that this guy is saying, other people are saying, I don't think I read this on the Daily Beast actually is that people are pointing out, people who know are pointing out that that is the sign of someone who's had a stroke, because they are. Either it's a therapy, they use it in therapy to remind them to pick up their leg correctly, or the brain is just giving itself. It's like slapping it because you can't feel your leg, or there's nerve pain or there's nerve damage or whatever. And he started slapping that leg like, he's like, camptown races sing these songs do da da da. It's kind of weird. Yeah, it's kind of weird. It does bring up, like, a lot of questions about aging and our politicians.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

True.

[Brian Green]

There may need to be for all, for judges, Supreme Court judges, people in the military. There may need to be an age limit or a test that you take, like a driving test. You know, when my grandma got up to, like, 92 years old, they were making her driving test every three months or something. I mean, I swear to God, they were making her take that test all the time. And she drove, like, until about four years before she died. But there should be some kind of test or like, an age limit or something so that we don't get into these predicaments anymore. So that, you know, okay, you have to be. What is it, 35 to be the president? Is it 35? Yeah, I think it's 35 to be the president, but you should then, if you're going to be 75 or older during any point in that term, so you have to be 70 to essentially run for president. That seems like a good number.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

I think so, too.

[Brian Green]

That seems like a good number for me. And then we don't have to get into these Kafukta situations where, you know, you got somebody that's kind of, like, ambling questionable. Yeah, it's like one of the things I was pointing out is, like, you know, President Trump is putting all these signs all over the White House. It's like it's.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Oh, yeah, that's right.

[Brian Green]

Oval Office, you know, hall of Mirrors or whatever it is, the White House, the Rose Room or the Rose Garden. You know, he's like, putting all these huge, like, gold signs everywhere, basically spelling out where things are. And one of these guys was pointing out that is not President Trump putting his gaudy touches on everything, even though that's part of it. That is the people around him to help him remember, to help him remember where he's going into and how to get there. They now have, like, gold arrows pointing this way and that way. And up and down, like, poor guy. I mean, I don't have much empathy for President Trump. I don't think he's necessarily a great human being. But I do have to say this aging is gonna happen to everybody. We're all gonna get there eventually where we're just kind of like ambling along, trying to remember where the bathroom is. I mean, if I'm lucky, that won't happen. But if. But it probably will at some point. I'm already that way. I'm already ambling around the house trying to figure out what's going on.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

What room is this?

[Brian Green]

What room am I in? But I will share that. We shouldn't be talking about this with our president. I mean, that's just a reality. We should not be talking about a guy ambling around the White House looking for the bathroom.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

No. It's just funny to me, somebody with that much power.

[Brian Green]

No, no, no, no. He's got the nuclear codes. I was watching a documentary on the. On the minute men who handle the silos for the nuclear bombs. And what an analog, weird existence they live. Understandably, right? They go down in these silos, you know, a couple hundred, 100ft underground. These huge bunker doors that they have to close are like four feet thick. And they do these 36 hour on again, off again schedules where it's them and with one other person. And there's a bed, but only one bed because only one person can be sleeping at any given time. And then if they actually have to turn the keys, they're 12ft away and they have to be turned at the same time so that no one person can, you know, reach over and turn them themselves. Like it's a whole fucking thing that goes on here. Pretty well thought out when you think about it.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Thank goodness.

[Brian Green]

I wouldn't want that responsibility. Would you want that responsibility? No. Now these guys, these are like, these people are tough as nails. How do they sleep at night? You know, I wouldn't want that job.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

No. That's a lot.

[Brian Green]

I have a hard time thinking that we'd have to do another episode of the commercial break. Do you know what I'm saying? I don't want to think about certain destruction, certain self destruction. Like, the last thing I'm gonna do is turn a key and press a button. I don't want to think about that. And then all my family members out there, like, I just rather not. I'm happy not knowing. Do you know what I'm saying?

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Flying under the radar.

[Brian Green]

Flying under the radar. Let me not Be a part of that, the cogs in those wheels. Because I don't know that I can handle it. I just don't know. I think I would mentally break. I'd be like, ah, I can't do it.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

It seems like a lot of pressure.

[Brian Green]

It is a lot of pressure. Okay, so I wanted to tell you a few things. Write us at the commercial break on Instagram if you want to do an Ask tcb. If you have a question, if you have a follow up, if you want to discuss something with us, if you want to talk to us on air about something, go to at the commercial break and send us an Instagram message. That is the best way to get a hold of it because I actually monitor that inbox. So go ahead and get.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

From the toilet.

[Brian Green]

From the toilet. Of course, every morning for an hour and every night for an hour. I keep an eye on everything that's going on. So. So go ahead and monitor. I monitor that inbox. So go ahead and let us know there. Also, if you could, if you would, follow us on whatever, Apple, Spotify, all those great places and share the podcast, if you could. The ever evolving world of podcasting is always changing and we are algorithm dependent here. And while we still do great, I'm so happy that we have have both of our listeners still with us. It would be nice if you would share us if you care. And because that helps the podcast, it helps Chrissy and I, and you know, we gotta eat, so that's the reality. So if you would do that for us, we certainly would appreciate it. It would be great. It's my plea to you from me to you My plea to you There you go. I'm like a little rhyme. I made a little rhyme in my head there.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yeah, you always do good rhymes.

[Brian Green]

You know, I'm on Luminosity. Do you do Luminosity?

[Chrissy Hoadley]

No.

[Brian Green]

It's like the brain training games.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yeah, I've heard of it.

[Brian Green]

I've been doing it for like 10 years. On again, off again.

[Rachel (Voice of God)]

Mm.

[Brian Green]

So I'm learning. I'm revisiting my Spanish, taking official classes, and then I'm doing Luminosity to make sure that I don't amble around the place because I keep thinking, wow, I sometimes I can't remember names and dates. I've never been good at names or dates. But, you know, sometimes things are. When you get older, things start to fade away a little bit. Plus, our heads are filled with all

[Chrissy Hoadley]

this shit stuff coming at us every day.

[Brian Green]

Yes. So loom. So it's been about A year since I've been on Luminosity. I got back on it. I'm like, okay, it gives you an LPI score. That LPI score tells you how you are scoring against other people your age. So I'm like, okay, day one. It's like a series of games. You have to play six of them a day, right? And they are. Some of them are really hard. They're not easy games to play. Yeah, they're brain games. This isn't like tic tac toe. You know what I'm saying? You got to figure it out. So I go on Luminosity, and I'm like, okay, let me play this game. Beep bop, boop, bop, boop, bop, boop. Your LPI score, 602 out of 2000. You are in the 22nd percentile for your age. I was like, oh, okay. Thank you. Thank you, Luminosity. Yeah, I know. Honestly, like, why am I doing this? 78% of people in my age category are better than I am.

[Rachel (Voice of God)]

Now.

[Brian Green]

I've raised it to 68 by, you know, I kind of got back into the swing of it, and I'm like, okay, I can do this. And so Now I'm at 68%.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Good for you.

[Brian Green]

So now there's only 32% of people that are smarter than I am. But it shows me that my memory is, like, one of my strongest categories. My speed, my flexibility, and my memory. My reasoning and my math are not so good, but my flexibility, my speed, they're good.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Okay, good.

[Brian Green]

There you go. I'm just giving you an update on my mental health. I'm not going to be President Trump anytime soon. All right. YouTube.com thecommercial break and at the commercial break on Instagram, aforementioned, send us a little message there, and. And hopefully we'll get back to you sometime in the near future. Okay, Chrissy. I guess that's all I can do for today.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

I think so.

[Brian Green]

I'll tell you that I love you. I say best to you. Best to you out there in the podcast universe and the streaming universe. Until next time, Chrissy and I will say, we do say, and we must say goodbye, Sam.