Bandit For President

Wed Apr 24 2024

Bryan & Krissy run the gamut from poignant children’s media to social media nipples to humble brags on facebook. Bluey We’ve got the warm and fuzzies Bandit For President! Dirt Nap got great reviews Matt Rife makes dv jokes and that's why people don't like him The instagram nipple rules The talk Having daughters Seeing women as human beings Social media predators People are going crazy in the suburbs Bryan is in a very judgmental mood Facebook: only good for marketplace Yahoos on Facebook Keeping up with the Joneses LINKS: Send us show ideas, comments, questions or concerns by texting us 212.433.3TCB text or leave us a voicemail Watch TCB on YouTube Watch for Live Show info at www.tcbpodcast.com Hosts Bryan Green & Krissy Hoadley Producer: Christina A. Producer: Gustavo B. To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices...

Transcript

Brian Green (0:00)

Couple of drinks and you putting your wiggly woggly in her suggly boogly, y' all hanking and spanking a few months goes by. Now she's calling and squalling. Next thing you know, you slaying and paying while she's still sliding and riding. So before you go licking and sticking or digging and diving, be sure you wrap your wiggly boogly in a rubbly doubly so one piece of that noo noo don't come back to bite you in your boo boo baby. On this episode of the commercial break, she's at the most expensive of restaurants, the most expensive hotels, flying in the firstest of classes. She's doing all this stuff, but she posts it with all of making like humble bragging. Right?

Kristen Joy Hly (0:41)

Right.

Brian Green (0:42)

So grateful for all my beautiful friends while she's drinking champagne and like her a private plane, you know, so grateful for all the wonderful people around me. You know, God is good. Look at what he does for your life. You know, I am blessed with beauty beyond skin deep. The next episode of the commercial break starts now. 2:30 in the morning. All y cats and kittens. Welcome back to the commercial break. I'm Brian Green. This is the bingo to my Bluey, Kristen Joy Hly. Best to you, Chris. Best to you and best to you out there in the podcast universe. Okay, let's talk about it because I have resisted for years talking about this. Well, I think I've mentioned it once or twice, but not in depth. And now we're just going to lay all the cards out on the table. As a guy who has 40 to 60 children and all of them small, I have to talk about Bluey because I think now it has broken the children lexicon and is now in the general, I don't know, mind think of humanity, especially here in the United States. If you are dead, living under a rock or taking a cold plunge, then you will not what I'm talking, not what I'm not know what I'm talking about. But otherwise, you must know that there's a show called Bluey and it is for children and it runs on Disney Junior and sometimes on Disney Channel. Check your local listings. And this show has taken the world by storm, Chrissy. It has taken the world by storm and with good goddamn reason. And now I'm going to share with you that I do not care if you are an adult or a child or an adult with a child or children. You must watch the show Bluey. Bluey is an amazing cartoon created by an Australian animator Yeah, it's been around.

Kristen Joy Hly (2:35)

For a while, right?

Brian Green (2:35)

It's been around for about five or six years, I think. But we're only on like season number four or five, something like that. And they're 10 minute episodes and they run back to back usually. So, you know, you get one and then commercial break and then the second one. And my children started watching this. My oldest child started watching this. Yeah. Five or six years ago when it came on. And I thought, oh, that's cute. It's. It's based on, let me tell you, the characters. The characters are Bingo and Bluey, the two girls that live with their parents in Australia. Bandit and Chili. They are Australian shepherds is what they are. Australian shepherd dogs.

Summary

The Commercial Break – Episode Summary

Podcast: The Commercial Break
Hosts: Bryan Green & Krissy Hoadley
Episode: Bandit For President
Date: April 24, 2024

Episode Overview

In this episode, Bryan and Krissy riff on cultural phenomena, social media absurdities, and modern-day parenting woes—anchored by a heartfelt, often hilarious deep dive into the unexpected universal impact of the Australian children’s cartoon Bluey. The title “Bandit For President” references the iconic Bluey character (the father), who the hosts half-jokingly propose as an ideal leader. The episode spirals from comedic commentary on wholesome family TV into a broader critique of social media one-upmanship, all with The Commercial Break’s signature blend of irreverent banter and gentle chaos.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Bluey Obsession & Its Emotional Impact

Bryan breaks his silence on Bluey
- Bryan shares his deep admiration for the Australian kids show Bluey, admitting it has brought him to tears multiple times.
  - “You must watch the show Bluey. Bluey is an amazing cartoon… it has taken the world by storm and with good goddamn reason.” (01:18)
Universal relatability and storytelling
- The show, though written for children, deeply resonates with adults, especially parents. Bryan admires how the program captures childlike imagination while teaching genuine, poignant lessons—embracing sensitive subjects like death, friendship, and change.
  - “What Bluey really gets so wonderfully correct is that they do it from the eyes of the children a lot of times… the lessons are real.” (04:39)
Emotional anecdotes
- Bryan describes a personally moving episode involving Bluey befriending a French-speaking dog at a campground, highlighting the show’s gentle handling of goodbyes and fleeting connections.
  - “Bluey’s sad, cries, walks around the campgrounds and then they show this beautiful scene at the end where Bluey sits by the tree that they planted. As the tree grows, so does Bluey.… I wept. I was reading this book to my child and I couldn’t get through it.” (06:15–08:38)

2. The Cultural Moment of the Bluey Finale

Popularity explosion & adult fans
- The hosts marvel at Bluey’s meteoric rise, citing it as “the second most streamed television show in history” and noting the fervor around its season finale—a rare double-length, 28-minute episode.
  - “Bandit is like, it doesn’t matter what’s going on, Bandit is always up for some playtime… I think we all wish we had a dad exactly like Bandit.” (11:21)
Speculation about the show’s future
- Bryan recaps fan theories that the latest season finale was a “soft ending,” discussing the creator’s hesitation to continue stretching honest stories as his own child (the show’s inspiration) grows older.
- Krissy jokes about writing in Bandit for President, leading to episode’s title.
  - “If Bandit was for… I’m going to write in Bandit for President. That’s what I’m going to do this time.” (13:32)

3. Parenting, Cultural Shifts, and the Internet

Navigating modern parenting
- The hosts discuss generational shifts in parenting, especially related to TV choices (true crime vs Bluey), technology, and “the talk” about sex.
  - “My children are entirely too young to even start thinking about that, but… I just don’t even know where to start. This is the kind of stuff that keeps me up at night.” (22:13)
Instagram’s ‘nipple rule’ loophole
- The show lampoons bizarre social media trends, notably “hot girls breastfeeding dolls” to bypass censorship.
  - “The hot to trot Instagram trend of the day is hot girls breastfeeding dolls. Breastfeeding fake dolls so that they can show their nipples on the camera.” (20:37)
Concerns about social media & kids
- Bryan underscores anxiety about his daughters and the pressures of social media, recounting a transformation from “drooling over bikinis” to worried dad railing against revealing swimwear in public and online.
  - “I was such a different man before I had daughters… my perspective changed… Now I scan for appropriate clothing.” (27:35)

4. Old Money vs. New Money & Social Media One-Upmanship

Facebook as a performative wasteland
- Venting about Facebook’s algorithm and culture, Bryan rails against “AI-generated bullshit” and “humble bragging” by acquaintances showcasing wealth, surgeries, and curated lifestyles.
  - “Every other post that they served me up was some AI bullshit… Facebook is just trash now. It’s just trash.” (38:58–39:25)
Nuances between “old money” and “new money”
- Bryan shares wisdom from his former mother-in-law: “new money shows and old money grows”—contrasting social climbing through posts and authenticity.
  - “My former mother-in-law used to say… new money shows and old money grows. That’s what she used to say.” (41:47)
The exhausting arms race for image
- The podcast laughs at acquaintances who over-share achievements, wealth, and family help (#amazingmaid, #nanny), viewing it as desperate, exhausting, and ultimately empty.
  - “[Posting] #amazingnanny, #amazingmaid. That is the most degrading, superfluous bullshit I’ve ever seen coming from one of my friends.” (48:23)

5. Miscellaneous Comedy – Tangents, Anecdotes, and Observations

Suburban oddities
- Bryan describes surreal observations from suburbia, like a woman in a convertible at the pool wearing a fur coat over a bikini, sporting outlandish eyebrows and lashes (34:09–35:41).
Promotion of longform comedy
- Shout-out for comedian Kyle Kinane’s special “Dirt Nap”, celebrating storytellers in comedy and referencing Chris Rock’s narrative prowess (15:51–16:27).
Calls for listener participation
- The hosts encourage listeners to text, call, or be guests on future episodes, teasing upcoming wild stories and maintaining their connection with fans (52:04–53:12).

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

Bryan on Bluey’s emotion:
- “I am going to admit… Bluey has brought me to tears on many occasions because sometimes the lessons are so heartfelt and story told so beautifully… you can’t help but just, like, break down like a little child.” (05:15)
On Bandit as role model:
- “If you could be one-tenth the parent that Bandit or Chili were… you are a superhero.” (10:17)
Bryan on social media one-upmanship:
- “The people that I know that [still use Facebook] are the people I least want to hear from… they just can’t wait to tell you how incredibly rich they are with all their fucking bullshit.” (39:25–43:09)
On modern parenting:
- “All of a sudden, I’m concerned. I’m no longer drooling over the hot bikinis. I’m trying to cover them up. I'm like, running around at the hotel pool like, put some clothes on!” (29:00)
Krissy on perspective:
- “You'll get… it’s a hard bit of jumping off the ledge, but then once you do it, you’re kind of like, okay, well…” (29:41)
Bryan’s summary advice:
- “If you don’t like Matt Rife, you can lick your fucking paws and watch Bluey.” (17:04)

Important Segment Timestamps

01:18 – Bryan introduces Bluey and his Bluey fandom
06:15–08:38 – Emotional breakdown over the “campground” Bluey episode
09:33–11:47 – Bluey season finale; speculation on the show’s future
13:32–13:46 – “Bandit for President” campaign joke
20:37–21:25 – The “Instagram nipple rule” and breastfeeding doll trend
22:13–27:35 – Discussing “the talk,” sex education, and shifting parental roles
29:00–35:41 – Parental anxiety, daughters, public attire; suburbia’s characters
38:58–39:25 – Facebook pivots to AI; generational platform complaints
41:47 – “New money shows and old money grows”
48:23 – “#amazingnanny, #amazingmaid” humblebrag rant
52:04–53:12 – Listener call-in and promo for upcoming participatory episodes

Episode Tone & Style

This episode is a quintessential Commercial Break: warm but snarky, self-deprecating, and affectionate toward its subjects—even as it lampoons them. The banter is loose and semi-structured, with Bryan’s animated rants offset by Krissy’s dry, good-humored asides. The conversation ranges from sincere to absurd, grounded by honest nostalgia and modern social criticism.

Takeaway

“Bandit For President” blends gut-busting improv with real social commentary, using Bluey as a springboard for discussions on parenting, authenticity, and the wearying falseness of social media image-making. Whether dissecting cartoon dogs or influencer egos, Bryan and Krissy deliver both laughs and unexpectedly poignant insights: we’re all better off with a little more Bandit in our lives—and a little less humblebrag in our feeds.