Bare Naked Ladies

Summary

The Commercial Break – "Bare Naked Ladies" (June 17, 2026)

Hosts: Bryan Green & Krissy Hoadley
Episode Overview:
In this freewheeling, improv-heavy episode, Bryan and Krissy reflect on wild nights, celebrity encounters, and the notorious lifestyles of rock bands. The main thread is Bryan’s throwback tale of touring with the Barenaked Ladies, but the duo also riff on J.Lo’s diva reputation, politics, travel misadventures, and the blurry lines between excess and maturity. Plus: the true origins of podcasting, weird venues, and thoughts on nostalgia tours.

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Main Theme

Navigating Fame, Excess, and Adulthood
This episode cleverly weaves together personal stories, celebrity anecdotes, and pop-culture observations to explore how people handle (or mishandle) privilege, fame, and growing up. With the Barenaked Ladies as a case study of both musical nostalgia and self-sabotage, the hosts contrast rock’n’roll excess with the realities of aging—whether you’re in a band or behind a podcast mic.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. TCB Longevity and Podcasting’s “Just Keep Going” Ethos

• Bryan and Krissy joke about their episode count approaching 1,000, with Bryan quipping:
  • “The secrets of our success are: just keep doing it despite all indications you should stop.” (02:21)
• They estimate over 1,400 hours of TCB content, noting the show’s “bingeable” nature.
  • Quote: “No one does it, but we are bingeable.” — Bryan (03:58)
• Reflection on how most creators hit roadblocks but TCB persists through “stop signs.”

2. Celebrity Diva Behavior: Comparing J.Lo, Taylor Swift, and Howard Stern

• Bryan recounts viral stories about Jennifer Lopez demanding deep-cleaned restaurants and total isolation from staff.
  • “No one is going to see JLo while she’s here except for the team that is with JLo.” (06:34)
  • “There is a level of kindness and professionalism and humanity that can be had while you do all of this stuff.” (07:02)
• He contrasts this with Taylor Swift’s relaxed attitude—minimal prep, selfies with waitstaff, generous tips.
  • “She was the nicest person, that Travis was the nicest guy… a 50% tip, right?” (09:01)
• Even germaphobe Howard Stern is described as polite and generous, not a “dick.”
• Thinly veiled “message” to J.Lo:
  • “You have to be a human about it, or else you’re just spitting in the face of all that talent, all that privilege that you’ve got.” (09:56)

3. Pop Culture Tangents (Trump/Epstein, UFC Fiascos, Aging Rockers)

• Digression on the Trump administration holding a Situation Room meeting about the Epstein files and a Trump “nipple fetish” rumor:
  • “They spent a good amount of time… talking about Donald Trump nipple fetish and whether or not they should release files related to his nipple fetish.” (15:08)
• Satirical rants on elderly politicians, UFC’s poorly-planned outdoor events, washed-up 90s acts like Vanilla Ice & CNCMusic Factory at random festivals.
  • “You could get Bret Michaels to play... Oh, Bret Michaels was…” (21:24)

4. Tom Green: The Unsung Podcast Pioneer

• Bryan explains Tom Green’s overlooked place in podcasting history, having done live digital “vodcasting” before Rogan.
  • “Joe has often credited Tom Green with being the first podcaster doing this long-form talk content via digital, whatever...” (28:13)
• Updates on Tom Green’s transition from shock comedy to a laid-back farming life with “Rick Rubin vibes.”

5. Bryan’s Barenaked Ladies Escapades (The Main Story)

• Bryan details living with bartenders and dancers in Atlanta, which organically leads to evenings spent with the Barenaked Ladies on tour (2002–04).
• Wild nights:
  • “There was naked people all over the place, all the time. Girls were hitting on me 24 seconds…” (33:13)
• Backstage stories:
  • One roommate caught Steven Page’s eye; Bryan ends up along for the wild ride.
  • Steven Page described as the “wilder” band member; arrested for cocaine, leaving the band soon after.
• Reflection on the rock’n’roll life and its burnout:
  • “He said, I moved out of my mom’s house, into my wife’s house, I moved out of my wife’s house onto the road… I never learned how to be an adult.” (37:45)
  • “Because living out of a suitcase ain’t f---ing easy. And being adored 24 hours a day, never being able to be yourself.” (39:18)

6. Music Nostalgia and Live Show Critiques

• Bryan and Krissy roast Barenaked Ladies’ hit lyrics (“chickity Chinese chicken…”), marvel at how some bands keep touring, and question if anyone still cares about BNL with Steven Page gone.
• Barenaked Ladies are currently on tour with Train; tickets are only $18.
  • “Maybe we can go and I can see if I can rekindle some of that old Bare Naked Ladies magic that I have." (67:11)

7. Personal Travel Mishaps and Family Life

• Hilarious tale of failed Ryanair/airline ticket purchases, dragging kids across London in extreme heat for museum experiences, and culture shock at Westminster Abbey.
  • “You can take your fat feet and put them on Sir Isaac Newton’s bones… Charles Darwin, Stephen Hawking, T.S. Eliot, they're all buried there.” (62:14, 63:45)
• Honest take on travel with kids and the reality of growing up:
  • “When you’re in a Venezuelan world… you have to have your dancing shoes on.” (48:00)
• Airbnb musings—Bryan admits he's back “on board” with the platform after some updates.

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Notable Quotes & Moments

• On perseverance:
  • "Just keep doing it despite all indications you should stop." — Bryan (02:21)
• On celebrity humility:
  • “You have to be a human about it, or else you’re just spitting in the face of all that privilege you’ve got.” — Bryan (09:56)
• On Tom Green’s real legacy:
  • “Joe [Rogan] has often credited Tom Green with being the first podcaster doing this long-form talk content via digital.” — Bryan (28:13)
• On rock’n’roll burnout:
  • “He said, I moved out of my mom’s house, into my wife’s house, onto the road with a tour manager… I never learned how to be an adult.” — Bryan, quoting Steven Page (37:45)
• On ticket prices and nostalgia:
  • “Unbelievably… tickets are still available—for as low as $18.” — Bryan (67:04)
• On travel with family:
  • "After one [kid], you might as well say ten. They're all calling your name 24 hours a day." — Bryan (48:30)
• On history and culture:
  • “I was just so fucking impressed at how many dead people were in the Westminster Abbey. It’s a creepy, creepy lovely place.” — Bryan (62:01)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• TCB Bingeable Hours & Podcasting Perseverance: 02:00–04:00
• J.Lo Story & Celebrity Service Demands: 04:45–08:54
• Taylor Swift Comparison & Celebrity Kindness: 08:54–10:29
• Trump/Epstein Files & Nipple Fetish Tangent: 13:02–16:02
• UFC2 50/Satirical Rant: 18:50–22:12
• Tom Green’s Podcast Legacy: 26:48–30:54
• Barenaked Ladies Backstage Stories: 33:05–39:18
• Rockstar Life Lessons (Steven Page Interview): 37:39–41:05
• Roasting BNL Lyrics/Nostalgia: 41:05–44:03
• Family Travels & London Misadventures: 48:00–59:02
• Westminster Abbey Impressions: 59:49–64:25
• BNL Current Tour & Ticket Prices: 65:52–67:14

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Tone & Style

• Chaotic, irreverent, and self-aware.
• Heavy use of tangents and asides, with a “riffing” conversational style.
• Bursts of honest reflection mixed with roasting humor and mock outrage.

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For New Listeners

This isn’t a nostalgia-fest or music nerd deep-dive; it’s part confessional, part roast, and mostly a satire on the challenge of growing up, whether you’re a rockstar or just a podcaster who can't believe he once partied with strippers and Steven Page.
Expect celebrity gossip with skeptical empathy, behind-the-scenes anecdotes, and plenty of reasons why being almost famous is probably best for your sanity.

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Bottom Line:
Classic TCB—a wild, hilarious walk down memory lane that manages both to laugh at and reflect on the consequences of living too wild, too fast, and too publicly. The “Bare Naked Ladies” episode delivers nostalgia, blunt honesty about celebrity habits and growing up, and--crucially—a reminder that not all legends fade away; some just keep touring for $18 a ticket.

Transcript

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[Brian Greene]

On this episode of the commercial break. A lot of times they'd end up back at our apartment, partying till the wee hours in the morning, drugs all over the place, liquor all over the place, nudity all over the place. I got hit on so much, I don't even know which way my head was turning sometimes, you know, but sometimes I was really cautious. I had dated dancers before I knew dancers.

[Chris Hoadley]

And you had lived with dancers.

[Brian Greene]

I lived with dancers, yes. I lived with dancers. My. I was 17. I kicked out on my own, bringing my dad's mattress with me, and he demanded it. He didn't want me back. He wanted the mattress back. That's what he was worried about. The mattress I had had for 12 years of my life, my dad was worried about. He's better now, by the way. He's better now. Much better grandfather than he was father. But we're dad was also a dick. So I was a dick. He was a dick. It was two dicks rubbing each other the wrong way. The next episode of the commercial break starts now. Yeah, boy. Oh, yeah. Cats and kittens. Welcome back to the commercial break. I'm Brian Green. This is my dear friend and the co host of this show, Chris and Joy Hoadley. Best to you, Chris.

[Chris Hoadley]

Best to you, Brian.

[Brian Greene]

Best to you out there in the podcast universe. It's two for Thursday. Not quite as ringy as two for Tuesday, but we'll take it. We're here on the Thursday recording episodes just for you. You. Because we love you and we want you to be happy all the time. Every time. All the time.

[Chris Hoadley]

All the time. Every time.

[Brian Greene]

Allison put out a clip of our episode. Did you see it? I did not on Instagram. And it was like the part where I was like, there's. Most of the time I walk out of the studio and I'm like, well, that wasn't so good. And I'm like, Alison, all the clips you could have taken. I guess it's a little revenge for us not giving away the secrets of our success.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yes, that's right.

[Brian Greene]

Our. The secrets of our success are. Just keep doing it. Despite all indications, you should stop. If you've ever been a podcaster, then you'll know there are signs along the way that go, eh, probably not working out for you, but Chrissy and I just run right through those, like couple drunk drivers. Whatever cares about stop signs.

[Chris Hoadley]

This is true. This is true.

[Brian Greene]

Asterid and oh, we gotta be approaching our thousandth. We're at 9. Well, officially we're at like 967 or something. Unofficially, we're at 9 40. So there's like 27 episodes. For whatever reason, you know, few that we took off the RSS feed, few got lost. Few just don't count because they're part of the whatever, you know, specials that we did.

[Chris Hoadley]

A few. We mentioned Scientology.

[Brian Greene]

Yeah, a few we mentioned Scientology on. That's right. Well, I don't even count those ones. Those ones. Yeah, I'm just talking about like the 12 hours of TCB. I counted those as one, not as, you know, 12. So. So there's a couple in there. But we are getting. We certainly have way more than a thousand hours of content.

[Chris Hoadley]

Oh, of course we do.

[Brian Greene]

Yeah. I think we're at like getting close to 1400 hours of content. It's insane when you think about it. 1400 hours. How many days is that? How many days would you listen to the commercial break? Let's see here. Let's take a conservative estimate. Say there's 1400. That would be two full months of non stop listening to the commercial break every hour of every day. 59 days.

[Chris Hoadley]

Wow.

[Brian Greene]

Wa. Wa.

[Chris Hoadley]

We're bingeable.

[Brian Greene]

We are bingeable. No one does it, but we are bingeable.

[Chris Hoadley]

I think my friend BT did it. It took him quite a. I think

[Brian Greene]

it maybe took him. I can't. But I just love BT Kiss on your face, BT Yes. Chef's kiss to you. I can't believe you would listen to my voice. Not even my wife has heard 60 days worth of my voice. Mainly because she got me to do this stupid podcast keeping me out of her ear. Yeah, well, you know, it is what it is. I just saw a thread, Instagram's threads, where this lady put together a series of pictures. I guess JLO is getting real severe backlash right now for the way that she at the diva way that she acts around regular human beings.

[Chris Hoadley]

Oh, really?

[Brian Greene]

And this lady told this story. Let me see If I can find, I'll give her a shout out here. So I'm not just stealing her content.

[Chris Hoadley]

I just saw an interview with her. She seemed like a nice lady

[Brian Greene]

at mmxx8806. So on TikTok, mmxx8806, if you want to go watch the full thing, I'm not going to play it here. But she's telling a story about how when she was a waitress, she had. JLO was going to come into her restaurant. So JLo's team calls the restaurant. I'm gonna let me truncate her story a little bit. So JLo, JLo's team calls the restaurant days ahead of time, a week ahead of time, and says, we need you to get the restaurant professionally deep cleaned by this cleaning service and send us the receipt that it was done before JLO comes.

[Chris Hoadley]

Wow.

[Brian Greene]

The deep clean is, is done. The receipt is sent. They then send. They then send a company to put up partitions in an already private dining room that they have inside of the restaurant so that no one can see inside of any part of the restaurant that JLO is going to be in. She then is whisked into the restaurant via private entrance where everyone is cleared out. Only her team, only JLo's team is allowed to be near her when she's whisked into the restaurant, into the private room. And this lady is the waitress assigned to the private room. So she goes to go into the private room and one of JLo's people is standing there with an iPad and says, no, you're not going to be presenting any food to jlo. We want you to use this iPad and use the message feature on here to talk to our team that's inside the room. And we will tell you what she wants. We will tell you her order via these messages and then the food will be delivered by us to JLo. In other words, no one is going to see JLO while she's here except for the team that is with JLo.

[Chris Hoadley]

No one can lay eyes on her. Huh?

[Brian Greene]

How obnoxious is that? I mean, honestly, like, okay, you're a germaphobe. You want the deep cleaning. You're afraid that someone could put something in your food. You're afraid. I mean, I get it. There must be a level of paranoia that comes with that amount of fame. I do understand that you want to take extra precautions and that the team wants to take extra precautions to make sure that not on their watch does anything happen. And I'm sure JLO has been the Subject of death threats and all this other stuff. Like, I'm, I, I can imagine after a period of time, yeah, that makes you very weary of the world. But there is a level of kindness and professionalism and humanity that can be had while you do all of this stuff. Hey, do you mind if we bring in a deep cleaning place just to make sure that everything's okay and that, you know, there's no incidents or any kind of, you know, bacteria or, or nefariousness that goes on? Yes. Hey, would you mind if we had a private dining room? Hey, the people that are going to wait on JLo, could we ask them to please not ask for autographs? Oh, she just wants to have a meal. All that stuff is like really easy to communicate. And I'm sure there's lots of celebrities out there that communicate something the same. I have heard from people. I heard I had lunch with a woman in New York. That woman in New York was a waitress at one point in New York, not, not long ago, year ago, year and a half ago. And during the Eras tour, Taylor Swift was flying to her shows and then she would have like, you know, four or five day breaks in between certain shows to rest your vocals and all this. And she would fly back to New York and the paparazzi would go crazy.

[Chris Hoadley]

Oh, yeah.

[Brian Greene]

And she was all over New York from, you know, she was up in the. The Village. The Village. She was down in soho. She was over in whatever that island is, you know, the Hamptons that everyone goes to. She was all over the place. And she was showing up at public places with her boyfriend Travis and all of her celebrity friends. And this woman that I was having a meeting with was waiting on Jay, on Taylor and some of her celebrity friends one night. And do you know what the prep was for that? A one day phone call. Notice that she was coming in.

[Chris Hoadley]

I've seen, I read an article about how Taylor's really nice. She like comes in, gets out, you know, goes. But yeah, that she was very nice.

[Brian Greene]

So this lady showed me pictures with, with Taylor and I think it was Blake Lively that was at the time with her. So maybe it's two years ago because Blake and Taylor have been friends in a while. But she showed me pictures that were taken. You know, it wasn't like kissy face. It was just a picture that was taken. They were standing there and this lady got a picture with them, which is very kind of her. And she said she was the nicest person, that Travis was the nicest guy, that it was just like, she was waiting on. On anybody else. And then a 50% tip, right? Like, you know, a 50 fucking.

[Chris Hoadley]

That's the way to handle it.

[Brian Greene]

I've heard. You know, even Howard Stern, the most egregious celebrity there's ever been. Like, he's a germaphobe. He doesn't want to talk to people. He's 7ft tall. He's like. Doesn't go out of his house. He's agoraphobic, almost. I have heard from people who have been in public places with Howard Stern where he's not. Like, he doesn't want to do it, but he's not a dick, right? He's not a dick, and he's a big tipper. And, you know, these are the type of things when God blesses you, when the universe blesses you with a certain amount of privilege, you know, you have to be a human about it, or. Or else you're just spitting in the face of all that talent, spitting in the face of all that work that you've done, spitting in the face of all that privilege that you've got, and fucking JLo. Go back to the block. JLO from the block, my ass. Now, I would say that this is just a woman who is airing her grievances on threads because, you know, anybody can say anything about anybody, right? It doesn't necessarily mean that it's true. However, I personally know.

[Chris Hoadley]

But that.

[Instacart Ad Voice]

But.

[Chris Hoadley]

But I like it when you do that.

[Brian Greene]

Yes, but I know that this is true. How do I know this is true? Because I have a friend. Let's call him a friend, who is working in the movie industry. When JLO did the movie, what to expect when expected here in Atlanta. And it was a first kind of experience for my friend in the movie industry. And he was working like he was the location manager. And so JLo was going to be on set, and JLo's security team had to have not one, not two, but multiple meetings with the location manager, this guy that I know, and tell him all of the rules and regulations around JLo and her being on set, including, don't look at her in the eye, don't talk to her, don't even look in her direction. Like, all the most ridiculous diva shit that you can only imagine is just made up. It's not. It's real. She's a diva, and she does this kind of shit. And you know what, jlo? I. You get every bit of backlash that. That you. That you get. And personally, I don't think JLo's all that talented. That's my personal opinion. I've never seen a movie that I care about with her. I've never. I haven't heard many songs that I think are great from. From JLo. She had to cancel a tour recently because of low ticket sales. You know, take that and. And then compare that to Taylor Swift or. Or Beyonce. Who, you know, you think Beyonce was the biggest diva in the world, but I've heard she's also.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah, I've heard that too.

[Brian Greene]

There's humanity in all of this. You can still be a fucking human. If you're a germaphobe, be a germaphobe, but do it in a human way. Be a nice woman. For God's sake. Stop all the bullshit. Come on. The commercial break. Let's talk about it. Jlo. Let's talk about what an idiot you're. I mean, am I wrong here? Am I wrong in saying that it's like, totally trashy and just like an opposition to everything that privilege gives you.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah, yeah. That's taking it too far.

[Brian Greene]

Yeah, yeah. The Epstein class. Yeah. The Epstein files. Release them.

[Chris Hoadley]

Release the files.

[Brian Greene]

They had a. They had a situation, a sit room meeting. Did you read that?

[Chris Hoadley]

Who? Who not?

[Brian Greene]

South Georgia Sean on the block. Who ha. Who not? Don't look JLO in the eye. Who not? TCB on the block. We did that for months. We did months. And every time it pops up. I think that was funny, but I wonder if we just did it too much and now I don't find it so funny anymore, but maybe I'll bring it back.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah, we can go back.

[Brian Greene]

Who knows? Who know? Who know? Who know Who Not Brian's brain. In and out. Okay, all right. The fucking Trump administration had a situation, a sit room meeting about the Epstein files. Did you read about this? Okay, New York Times comes out with a big article. The Situation. The Situation Room in the White House, where wars are planned, nuclear codes are. Had the best brains and all of the military might that history has ever known goes into that room to talk about very serious things.

[Chris Hoadley]

Situations.

[Brian Greene]

Situations. People dying, terrorist attacks, you know, murder cases. Stuff that, you know, that is super important to the national security and then sometimes the world security. The Situation Room is where it all goes down. Watch an episode of the West Wing. The best interpretation of the situation Sit room I've ever seen is there inside of that West Wing. And it's a very serious place where unserious things don't get talked about. However, the Trump administration decided that the Epstein crisis was getting so out of hand that they needed to do a meeting in the Situation Room. And when they did a meeting in the Situation Room, they did it about Donald Trump's appearance in the Epstein files. Now here's what takes this over the edge. That in and of itself is insane to me that you would have a meeting about the Epstein files in the Situation room. It takes the Epstein files to a who level, first of all. Second of all, what was really being talked about is that some woman had claimed she was sexually assaulted by Donald Trump and that that sexual assault happened. When that sexual assault happened, she presented. Part of the evidence that she presented as this really did happen was that Donald Trump had a nipple fetish, a fetish with his nipples and a fetish with other people's nipples. I know. God, just think of Donald Trump's nipples. They're probably the pointy downside, you know what I'm saying? Like the milk, the cow milk.

[Chris Hoadley]

Need that visual.

[Brian Greene]

I imagine they don't have color either. Like they're not like brown nipples, they're just like my hand colored nipples with like gray hairs growing out of them. God bless Melania Trump. God bless her. But they, they spent a good amount of time. J.D. vance, Kash Patel, only the best. Pete Hegg says the brightest minds in all the world. We're talking about Donald Trump nipple fetish and whether or not they should release files related to his nipple fetish. J.D. vance made the argument, yes, we should get out in front of it, just let it all go. And then at least they can't say that we were hiding it, right? And everybody else was like, no, Donald doesn't want his nipples talked about nipples. Nipple, nipple, nipple, nipple, nipple, nipple.

[Chris Hoadley]

Oh my God, I need to read that article.

[Brian Greene]

Who? Who? Not Donald's nipples on your couch. Oh, you need to read that article. You can't even deal with it. You don't want to hear about Donald's nipples. This is so highly egregious that I can't even, I just can't even wrap my brain around because there's so many

[Chris Hoadley]

things that you're like, what? Yes, that's happening. That happened.

[Brian Greene]

How is this happening? What can we all agree that Donald has lost his ever loving marbles? Every day it's a new thing about Donald falling asleep, talking, you know, about the brand new curtains, when, you know the war in Iran is going on, you know, his ufc, the guy has lost his marbles. He's obviously mentally deficient because of Alzheimer's, a stroke or something. And all the time now I saw another video of him walking off of whatever, Air Force One or the helicopter, you know, Copter Force One, whatever the fuck that shit is, and Marine One. And he's walking off it and he's. Can't walk in a straight line. He keeps zigging and zagging all the way around, like, all the way to the White House. The guy has lost it. He's lost it. He's done for. So the quicker we all agree on this reality, the better off will be. And at this point, as much as I, you know, don't like any of these people in the administration, I really don't. I don't find a lot of redemption in Cash Patel, Pete Hegseth, JD Vance, whoever else is. Is surrounding themselves over there. The Bill Pulte, the guy who's going to be the National Intelligence Intelligence Director. Bill Pulte, yeah. The guy is like a wannabe streamer influencer whose dad built the largest homebuilding company in the world. And it was his dad who did all the work. He's a trust fund baby who's done no national security whatsoever. And now we're gonna put him in charge so he can find the, you know, 8,000 votes in Georgia that.

[Instacart Ad Voice]

Whatever.

[Chris Hoadley]

God.

[Brian Greene]

Okay, listen, all of this. All of this leads me to conclude one thing. Donald Trump will be. Either they are going to. They are going to use the. What is it? Which article is it? The 19th article. Something article to get him out of office, meaning the whole Cabinet's going to vote on it and they're going to say he's not worthy, he's going to fall. The poor guy's going to fall and break his hip, and then he's just going to be hospitalized for the rest of his life or something really terrible is going to happen because he can't think straight. We need to get him out of office. And I would say the same thing if this was Biden, Obama, Clinton, Bush, I don't care. It's so obvious it's being recorded. He can't even stay awake for the most serious of conversations. The guy needs to go and take a nap. He needs to go with Biden off Rehoboth beach or whatever and let them let those two get under an umbrella together, let their hairy nipples fly. They can rub each other's nipples and go to sleep. He's 80 as of this Sunday.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yep.

[Brian Greene]

UFC 250.

[Chris Hoadley]

Oh, God.

[Brian Greene]

We're gonna kill people on the front lawn.

[Chris Hoadley]

So embarrassing.

[Brian Greene]

God bless. Something really bad, tragic, super tragic happens in that UFC 250. I think it's gonna be like a whole fucking shit show. I don't know why they would even think about this. People get really seriously hurt.

[Chris Hoadley]

Joe Rogan was. Was saying, like, what are they doing? Because the heat, the heat, that's gonna be the heat.

[Brian Greene]

The flies, the gnats, the rats, everything. It. There's no control over it. And these fighters already have enough to deal with. And now they're going to deal with rain, wind, gnats, all the other things that can come into play. The X Factors, when it comes to weather. They're going to do all of that, and for no glory whatsoever. Because I can guarantee you this is going to be the same shit show that the Kid Rock halftime show was that the 250 state fair, country fair, whatever they put together was with Millie fucking Vanilli, which doesn't even have a vanilla anymore. It's just Milli, Milli, Milli with Milli Milli Iced tea, Vanilla Ice. Maybe it should be Milli Vanilla is what it should be. And those two should get together and do some songs. And now it's going to be Donald Trump and.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah, never mind

[Brian Greene]

Lee Greenwood.

[Chris Hoadley]

They keep trotting out Lee Greenwood or Lee Greenwood, the Bench.

[Brian Greene]

I remember hearing Lee Greenwood say one time, he's like, hey, listen, I'm not a. I don't. Not a fan of one particular candidate or another. I'm just happy that my song is getting all this attention. Right?

[Rachel]

Yeah.

[Brian Greene]

How do you feel now, Lee Greenwood, now you're the only act. Even Vanilla Ice got fucked. Poor Vanilla Ice.

[Guest Singer]

He did.

[Chris Hoadley]

He was sticking with it, too.

[Brian Greene]

I know. Well, of course he was. He's got nothing. What else does he have going on? He's building houses down in South Florida for HGTV 2. He's not even on the real HGTV. He's on a home and garden TV or whatever it is. I mean, the guy's got nothing going. None of these people had anything going on. But half of them didn't even know they were.

[Chris Hoadley]

Oh, well, that's the thing.

[Brian Greene]

Half of them were like, wait, what? I didn't sign up for that. But I guess if I'm giving it a paycheck, who is the one guy? Cnc, Music Factory.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah, that guy.

[Brian Greene]

He was on his toilet. Did you see that? He did a video, like an Instagram video from his toilet. And he was like, I got all these text messages saying, I'm on this bill. And, you know, I don't know. You know, I didn't even know about this. But if I'm not gonna be canceled by nobody. Fuck it, I'm doing it. I thought to myself, yeah, because no one else is asking you to play anyway.

[Chris Hoadley]

Right?

[Brian Greene]

It's unbelievable. Can't even get, like, Poison. Like, you could get Bret Michaels to play. Oh, Brett Michaels was.

[Chris Hoadley]

He was on there.

[Brian Greene]

Yeah, but where's the rest of Poison? Where's that Cece? Why can't they play Cece to Bill?

[Rachel]

Yeah.

[Brian Greene]

I think the fact is they just didn't sell any tickets. They didn't sell any tickets. They generated no interest. And I think the UFC is going to be the same. They're going to fill those stands with people because there's enough idiots in this world that want to go that they'll be there. But all the celebrities have bowed out. No one's going to be in the stands. Even Joe Rogan, when Joe Rogan was asked if he's going to do it, he's like, I don't know. They tell me where to go. Right. They just tell me, like, UFC just tells me what to do. But Joe says, you know, I hate this idea, but he'll show up for the paycheck. Yeah, because that's Joe Rogan. You know, I have this love hate relationship with Joe Rogan. I really do. I have a love hate relationship with Joe Rogan. I think sometimes he says stuff and I go, yeah, Joe, there you are. And then sometimes he doesn't. Says stuff where I'm like, what the are you thinking?

[Chris Hoadley]

I know he is.

[Brian Greene]

I, I. Your brain is better than that. I know, but maybe it's not. Maybe it's too much ayahuasca. You know, maybe you start doing ayahuasca every third Tuesday and smoking pot every night and drinking whiskey with Elon Musk. You know, shit's bound to go off the rails at some point.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Greene]

Yeah. All right. Okay. All right, let's take a break. When we get back, I want to talk about the Bare Naked Ladies. Oh, that's the name. Tom Green and the Barenaked Ladies.

[Chris Hoadley]

Okay.

[Brian Greene]

What do those two things have in common? Do you know?

[Chris Hoadley]

I don't.

[Brian Greene]

Okay. Canada. That's what they have in common. Yeah, let's talk about both of them. Tom Green is going to be a guest on our show.

[Instacart Ad Voice]

Yeah.

[Brian Greene]

Yeah. And then we stopped taking guests, so. Sorry, Tom. Maybe we'll have you back, Tom Green. Also, fun fact, the very first podcaster ever.

[Chris Hoadley]

Really know that. No.

[NAACP Sponsor Voice]

Yeah.

[Brian Greene]

Okay. All right. Largely credited with Joe Rogan being a podcaster, Tom Green. And I'll tell you how it all happened when we get back.

[Rachel]

Hey, it's Rachel, your new voice of God here on tcb. And just like you, I'm wondering just how much longer this podcast can continue. Let's all rejoice that another episode has made it to your ears. And I'll rejoice that my check is in the mail. Speaking of mail, get your free TCB sticker in the mail by going to tcbpodcast.com and visiting the Contact Us page. You can also find the entire commercial break library audio and video just in case you want to look at [e-mail] Want your voice to be on an episode of the show? Leave us a message at 212-43333. TCB. That's 212-433-3822. Tell us how much you love us and we'll be sure to let the world know on a future episode. Or you could make fun of us. That'd be fine too. We might not air that, but maybe. Oh, and if you're shy, that's okay. Just send a text. We'll respond. Now I'm gonna go check the mailbox for payment while you check out our sponsors, and then we'll return to this episode of the Commercial Break.

[NAACP Sponsor Voice]

All of us have fought long and hard to make a better world for ourselves and our children. But right now, our freedoms and our futures are under attack. That's why I'm asking you to join me in supporting the naacp. This is the fight of our time, and your support matters. Please go online right now.

[Instacart Ad Voice]

Instacart makes grocery shopping easier. And just because you're not doing the shopping yourself doesn't mean you don't care how it's done. With Instacart Shopper notes, you can get particular about what you want right in the app. Like rotisserie chicken that's extra crispy steak with marbling the Romans would have loved, and lettuce you'd actually pick yourself. Just leave a note for your shopper so they can get it right for you without having to ask. That way you can get groceries just how you like. Download the Instacart app and shop. Today.

[Guest Singer]

I walked in the door to grab a latte I paid $10, heard Ariana Grande but then I saw him and his big doll I felt my knees weak here came the brain fog and though I'm not getting you make me feel that way I hope it never ends My new Starbucks boyfriend. All my toes curl, all the feels come my world of gold you are My shining sun. We love to talk sports and swimming pools. You like the patio. I like the bar stools. And we spill tea and we crochet the other tables. Might think we're gay. I don't really care. I hope it never ends. You're my best Starbucks boyfriend.

[Chris Hoadley]

How is he?

[Brian Greene]

He's good. I just was texting with him. I haven't seen him this week, but I was texting with him. He said he was at Starbucks and there was two men sitting at table number four on the same side of the table.

[Chris Hoadley]

Oh.

[Brian Greene]

And he said, let's never do that.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah, it's a good role between the

[Brian Greene]

song and us sitting together. Yeah. I have not seen I love you, man, but I do want to see that movie. Is that Paul Rudd and the crazy guy? The guy I love, the guy who did the. The one about the chair. The chair company.

[Guest Singer]

Yes.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yes, it is.

[Brian Greene]

Okay. I want to see that. Definitely want to see that.

[Chris Hoadley]

I never finished that series.

[Brian Greene]

I loved it. I loved it. I loved every minute of it. I thought it was brilliant, but I'm like kind of offbeat like that. That's my style.

[Instacart Ad Voice]

Okay.

[Brian Greene]

Tom Green. We all know Tom Green. Tom Green, MTV fame. First of Canada, public access fame, then of mtv.

[Chris Hoadley]

Big for a while.

[Brian Greene]

Huge. He was all over the. I mean, he was like a global.

[Chris Hoadley]

Mary Drew Barrymore.

[Brian Greene]

Mary Drew Barrymore. They had a. I think they were married for like five or six years, if I'm not mistaken. Tom Green was a radio guy that turned into like a little too wily for radio in Canada. So then he went to a public access television and he had this show that was just incredibly hard to describe. It really was gonzo television. And we all saw the Tom Green show on MTV that was also. Gonzo is hard to describe. It was the. MTV was. Took a chance on him and it turned into a massive, massive success. Yeah, right around the time when Beavis and Butthead came. This is like back in the 90s. And then Tom Green did Freddie Got Fingered, the movie which unbelievably, 20th Century Fox or whoever put this together, gave him like millions and millions of dollars

[Chris Hoadley]

to make all that.

[Brian Greene]

And his. Well, no one saw it because it's largely like with being the worst movie ever. But he was trolling everybody, according to him. He was trolling everybody with the movie. He wanted to make it obscure, obscene, and he wanted to kind of point. He wanted to give the middle finger to the. To the regular movie productions. Tom Green has always been a troll. He was always trolling. Tom Green in back in 2004 and 2005 after he had this huge success and then all the back Tom Green backlash. And then he was never heard from. And then in 2004 and 2005, he built his own digital live streaming studio in his house and started going live on a nightly basis from his house doing long form talk content. He would still do all the crazy stunts, he would still be crazy, but then he would bring guests on. Guests like a young up and coming comedian who was hosting Fear Factor at the time Rogan and Joe would come on his show and he would be a regular guest on Tom Green show. And then Joe and Tom said, you got to do this. You can put ads in the show, you could make money doing it. Like you could do this whole thing right from your basement. And then Joe Rogan went and started the Joe Rogan Experience, the same type of show that tomba. As a matter of fact, Joe has often credited Tom Green with being the first podcaster doing this long, long form talk content via digital, whatever video. And then podcasts came along, audio packets you could send with Apple. That was Adam Curry who started that technology. Adam Curry from MTV fame.

[Chris Hoadley]

Right.

[Brian Greene]

So then Joe started doing podcasts. Once they came along, he started putting his live show into these audio format. So this, this ended up being one of the first podcasts ever available was Tom Green and Joe Rogan's long form. Joe was doing four hours, Tom was doing an hour or two. So Tom Green, this wily, crazy, no one can really describe it. No, you know, kind of gross, weird shock comedian, ended up becoming very popular, fell out of favor, started doing long form live digital, then podcasts. And now Tom is a farmer in Canada and has become a totally different human being. He's almost got like a Rick Rubin vibe to him.

[Chris Hoadley]

Okay.

[Brian Greene]

Still pulls out that shock comment every once in a while. Still goofy at times. Still willing to go there with the beard. He's got the beard, he's got the big gray beard, just like Dave Letterman. I don't know what happens to these talk show hosts, but after they get off air, all of a sudden they got a big gray beard. Dave's beard is like down here. I mean, he looks like Santa Claus, only he's only £12. Sopping. Yeah, yeah, he looks like a weird Santa Claus. You know what I'm saying? Still love Dave.

[Guest Singer]

Yes.

[Brian Greene]

But now Tom has turned into this podcast vodcast, you know, show host that is doing these more serious in depth interviews with people from his farm. Forget the name of the Podcast, it's like called Canada now or something.

[Chris Hoadley]

Okay.

[Brian Greene]

And he recently had on Steve Page, Stephen Page, formerly the lead singer of Bare Naked Ladies.

[Chris Hoadley]

The old naked Ladies.

[Brian Greene]

The old naked ladies. Now, I've told this story before, how a pair of naked ladies turned me on to Barenaked Ladies. And then we went on tour with Bare Naked Ladies and Steven Page. I think my. I. If I remember correctly, this would have been. This would have been 2002, 2003, 2004, something like that. When this all happened, I had a couple of roommate, couple of girl female roommates that were bartenders at a local bar. We all became friends. Two Jessica's, Jessica and Jess is how we referred to them. One of them was this tall Amazon blonde and one of them was this brunette. Red. She would dye her hair red, girl. And I loved them both a great deal. And I ended up moving into their house for a short period of time even though they had four cats. I just couldn't deal with it after a while. I just like, I was too sick all the time. But they also had a third roommate. So four of us living in the house. And that third roommate, Jess, ended up becoming a bartender at the Gold Club, okay? Very famous strip club here in Atlanta. And she then had a fourth roommate that moved in that was a dancer at the Gold Club. So not only were the cats bothering, not there was a lot of. In that house. Yeah, a lot of. Some I was allergic to. Some I became allergic to. Because it sounds great to have a bunch of dancers at your house at 4 in the morning, you know, that just got done. I mean, these girls were wild. Why I saw more tits and ass in this one, I'm sure. And a half months that I lived with these girls, I saw more tits and ass. There was naked people all over the place all the time. Girls were hitting on me. 24 seconds, they come back drunk, you know, they couldn't go home with guys that was like strictly not allowed. The security guards would walk them to a cab, their own car or whoever was picking them up. Like they never went home with any guys even though they were allowed to suck and fuck in the club. That's why it ended up closing. They weren't allowed to go home with anybody, right? So they'd all end up back at. A lot of times they'd end up back at our apartment, partying to the wee hours in the morning, drugs all over the place, liquor all over the place, nudity all over the place. I got hit on so much, I don't Even know which way my head was turning sometimes, you know, but sometimes I was really cautious. I had dated dancers before I knew dancers.

[Chris Hoadley]

And you had lived with dancers?

[Brian Greene]

I lived with dancers, yes. I lived with dancers. My, I was 17. I kicked out on my own, bringing my dad's mattress with me. And he demanded it. He didn't want me back. He wanted the mattress back. That's what he was worried about. The mattress I had had for 12 years of my life, my dad was worried about. He's better now, by the way. He's better now. Much better grandfather than he was father. But, but I was also a dick. So I was a dick. He was a dick. It was two dicks rubbing each other the wrong way. But I had been around dancers for most of my young adult life and I just knew how much trouble they could be. And so I wasn't always, even though I certainly attracted to, you know, naked, beautiful women, I wasn't always hot to trot on being involved with them, let's put it that way.

[Chris Hoadley]

That was a good rule.

[Brian Greene]

I, I, I thought so. Even at my young age, I was starting to understand the rules of the road a little bit. I was growing up really fast, let's put it that way. So one day we decided we were going to go to the Barenaked Ladies concert, me, Jess and Jessica. And we went there and Jess got picked out of the crowd to go backstage. Like old school rock and roll tour manager comes out, gives you a couple of backstage passes, tells you to hang out after the show. And because I was with the girls, I got dragged along. That started like a four week odyssey where we were driving all over the southeast with the Barenaked Ladies and Steven Page and, you know, the other guys in the band who were all very lovely, by the way. I don't have a bad thing to say about them, but it was, but, but Stephen Page, who I would say was the wilder of the, of the boys, Right? Everyone else was kind of of the ladies. Yeah. Everyone else. Well, Stephen Page, who was the lead singer, he was very into Jess, but he was also very into being married with the ring on his finger, like, you know what I'm saying? So Jess was a little nervous about this whole thing. It was obvious he was hitting on her. And the other guys in the band were much more business, like they were like ready to get onto the next show and do it professionally. Stephen was a bit of a partier, let's put it that way.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Greene]

And Stephen got arrested for cocaine possession and then he left the band shortly thereafter. That was in 2005. And no one's really heard from him since. Like, I mean, I've never seen anything about it.

[NAACP Sponsor Voice]

Right.

[Brian Greene]

But Tom Green had a sit down with him and he talked about that period of time in his life and he talked about how things got a little wild sometimes on the road, you know.

[Chris Hoadley]

Sure.

[Brian Greene]

Including the ladies and the drugs and all that. And it kind of led to this friction in the band that they. They were embarrassed by all of it. And he had to leave, leave the band. One of the most famous Canadian bands ever, the Bare Naked Ladies. And Stephen Page is no longer a part of it because of his behavior and because of his drug addiction and all this stuff, which is nothing to laugh at, by the way. But I think about that time and I think about. Yeah, I was there. I. I know you were part of that. I was part of it. I don't know if I was part of it. Jess was part of it.

[Chris Hoadley]

You were around it. You witnessed it firsthand.

[Brian Greene]

We became super friendly with, like, his security, their security manager. And I remember that one time. So I had moved out of Jess and Jessica's house at this time. And one one night, they were. Bare Naked Ladies were going to Birmingham and we had all intended that we were going to go to the Birmingham show. I was living with a different girl now down the street and dating a different dancer. And I remember that Jess wasn't. She was like, at work and she wasn't answering the phone. Right. And I think at this time, maybe there were like pagers and some cell phones that were coming out. Right. And if I remember correctly, maybe Jess had one of those cell phones and she wasn't answering the phone telling this security guard whether or not she was going to be coming to Birmingham. And so I got a phone call at the apartment and I was up, it was late, I was high on everything. And I was with this D girl that I, you know, was with. And we were. I remember being on the phone with this security guard to, like, the wee hours of the night, just talking and talking and talking with this security guard. And now I think back on it and I'm like, shouldn't he been securitizing?

[Chris Hoadley]

Yes.

[Brian Greene]

Instead he was bugging me to bug Jess to get to Birmingham so she could have an affair with the lead singer of Bare Naked Lady.

[Chris Hoadley]

Have you listened to this, this interview?

[Brian Greene]

I have. I did. I listened to it.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Greene]

It's very interesting, Steve, you know, hey, listen, Stephen Page is like a lot of us. He's Got a story and, you know, things. Things were rocky. He said like this. He said, I moved out of my mom's house, into my wife's house. I moved out of my wife's house onto the road with a tour manager who always took care of me, took care of me. I was never an adult. I never learned how to be an adult. And I didn't treat the world in. I didn't know how to relate to the world. So drugs and sex and alcohol and all this other stuff was just the way that I. The way that life was for me until it wasn't. Until it was embarrassing for everybody, until it was too much for me and until it ruined marriages and, you know, made children upset and all this other stuff. And so, you know, listen, I don't think that I, having done this a little tittle bit, I don't think the road is an easy place to live a life. And I really admire people who do it for a living. Year after year, time after time. The Pearl Jams of the world, the Rolling Stones of the world. And Jeff Ahmed from Pearl Jam has said this before, and I can see how this is true. He's the oldest of the band. He's like 58 years old. You know, he's the bassist of Pearl jam, he's almost 60. And he has said, I hate the road. I love the shows, I hate the road, I hate the hotels, I hate the planes. I hate being away from my family, I hate being away from my house. I hate it. Right? But I do it because I love the show. Like the show is where the action is and I can see that. But you have to deal with all the other shit that comes along with it. And there's got to be an outlet for frustrations and angers. There's no family around you, there's no support, there's nothing. You're with these five other guys that you probably sometimes like, sometimes hate and you're just trying to get by to the next show. So what do you do? You kill time. Drugs, alcohol, women, men, whatever it is that. It's the. It's the age old story. Because living out of a suitcase ain't fudgeing easy. And being adored 24 hours a day, never being able to be yourself. Imagine being Eddie fucking Vedder or Getty Lee or whoever, whatever your favorite band is, right? Imagine being those guys. And you can't. And I say this with all love and respect to Jennifer Lopez with JLo, is that like, you go out into the world and the world is always Looking at you, always, never not looking at you.

[Chris Hoadley]

I would hate that.

[Brian Greene]

Yeah. And so, you know, this has got to be one of the hardest things to do is not the actual part where you're giving your talent all the other parts that come along with it and adjusting to that perspective in life. And that is why I'm glad I'm part of the commercial break, because I will never have to know what that's like. I got noticed one time at the Zoltan show and I ran away from a picture.

[Chris Hoadley]

I'm like, ah, I know. Can I have a photo? No.

[Brian Greene]

My literal default reaction was to, are you Brian Greene from the commercial break? Can I have a picture? Was, no, you cannot. That was my response.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Greene]

That's how I identify with the world. That's how I relate to the world. Fuck you.

[NAACP Sponsor Voice]

Yeah.

[Brian Greene]

But anyway, Stephen Page, on the apology tour, will there be a Bare Naked Ladies reunion?

[Chris Hoadley]

Could be.

[Brian Greene]

Does anybody care? Probably not. Listen, for my money, the 90s are big again. The 90s are big again. But for my money, Bare Naked Ladies, even when I was on tour with them, not my favorite band.

[NAACP Sponsor Voice]

Yeah.

[Brian Greene]

I had a roommate that turned me. Like, that was on. That turned me on to Bare Knight Ladies in the sense that it was the first time I'd ever heard it.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Greene]

Like, they're live up to if I had a million dollars. If I had a million dollars or I walked into the old apartment, this is where I used to live.

[Chris Hoadley]

That's a good impression.

[Brian Greene]

And I always thought that's the dumbest fucking song I've ever heard. Who walks into their old apartment? How do you get in there? Who's giving you the keys? You just have the old keys. If I had a million dollars. Yeah, okay. If I had a billion dollars. You had a million dollars. You can't even buy a gas for a million dollars.

[Chris Hoadley]

Wasn't there another, like, catchy chickity chick,

[Brian Greene]

chick, chick Chinese chicken Get it on checked and it won't stop licking Giving it gone with my shoes on. Got no shoes on and with no lights on. With no lights on. Okay. And I love him. When I try and be like a man. What does that have to do with chicken? What does love have to do with chicken? Chickity Chinese to the Chinese chicken, Chinese chicken. Are they Chinese chickens or are they just chickens? I'm not sure.

[Rachel]

This is.

[Brian Greene]

There's this thing in my. There's this called Mr. D that I watch Canadian show.

[Chris Hoadley]

Oh, yeah, you talked about that.

[Brian Greene]

Okay. He's a teacher.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Greene]

You know, his name is Jerry. Duncan. Mr. Duncan. And there's a scene like they had seven seasons, and they thought the seventh was going to be the last. So the final show is like. It's a weird, like, episode of. Of. Of Mr. D. But there's this reporter who's talking about all the terrible things Jerry, the teacher, has done over the years, over the seasons, like, with the kids and all this. It's an adult comedy, but they have kids in the show, and, you know, sometimes it gets a little racy and all this other stuff. So they're talking about all these terrible things that he's done and terrible things that he taught the children. He's a bad teacher, basically. And the reporter's in there, and he's. She's pulling out a bunch of DVDs from his office desk, and he's like, oh, yeah, that's my curriculum for health. And she's like, raging Bull is your. That's. That's. And he goes, oh, yeah. I just find it easier to show them rather than. And talk to them about it. And he goes, you know Raging Bull? And she goes, what's Raging Bull teaching them? And he goes, well, I think it's important that boys and girls learn a lesson about menstruation, female menstruation. And she goes, is there any other kind? And then he goes. And she goes, what are you teaching me? He goes, well, you know how women get. I don't like that. Get away from me. I just find it to be the funniest thing that he's talking about female menstruation, because is there any other kind of. Maybe. I think there's male menstruation.

[Chris Hoadley]

What did that have to do with the Bare Naked Ladies?

[Brian Greene]

What that had to do with the Barenaked Ladies is nothing. I have to clear that up is the fact that their lyrics are as. Are as clear as using Raging Bull to teach women about sex.

[Chris Hoadley]

Okay. That was the connection. Wanted to See.

[Brian Greene]

I just made that up. All right, short break and we'll be back.

[Rachel]

Okay. You're probably wondering why I, Rachel, have taken over the voice duties at tcb. It's pretty simple. Astrid asked me to shut Brian up, even for a minute. Well, lovely Astrid, your wish is my command. Do you want to help Astrid, too? You know, you do. Leave a message for her or me or Chrissy at 212-4333. TCB. That's. That's 212-433-3822. You can be on the show, too. Just call and say something, anything. Or text us and we'll text you right back. Promise. Then head over to tcbpodcast.com and get your free sticker. It's your constitutional right to a sticker, and we must abide. You get the point? Follow us on Instagram at the commercial break and watch all the episodes on [e-mail] TheCommercialBreak. Best to you and Astrid. Especially Astrid.

[NAACP Sponsor Voice]

All of us have fought long and hard to make a better world for ourselves and our children. That's why I'm asking you to join me in supporting the naacp. Go online now.

[Instacart Ad Voice]

Instacart makes grocery shopping easier. And just because you're not doing the shopping yourself doesn't mean you don't care how it's done. With Instacart, Shopper notes, you can get particular about what you want right in the app. Like rotisserie chicken that's extra crispy steak with marbling the Romans would have loved. And lettuce you'd actually pick yourself. Just leave a note for your shopper so they can get it right for you without having to ask. That way you can get groceries just how you like. Download the Instacart app and shop today.

[Brian Greene]

Oh, this is a great song. I know you all know it. All right. Try to get out. On my greatest hits album. Bare Naked Ladies needs a new lead singer auditioning. What a force said. Not that same that Bono cross of it. Oh, my God, the crunch in my voice. Mine wouldn't have lasted two years. Mine would have been like, was that

[Chris Hoadley]

at the party or where was that was at the party?

[Brian Greene]

That was at the party. You can hear both people in the background screaming for more. Yay Zay. High on Ice House and bad weed. Come on, get up, both of you. Oh, God, what a nightmare.

[Chris Hoadley]

Good times.

[Guest Singer]

Yeah.

[Brian Greene]

Listen, you know, we all have a past and minds on 1400 hours of the commercial break for you,

[Chris Hoadley]

for your listening pleasure.

[Brian Greene]

For your listening pleasure. I wonder how the new director of the animated series is gonna take. Is gonna take this episode of the commercial break, right? For sure. I. You know, I do have to say this. You know, we're kind of chopping our way through our time off over the last couple of weeks. I do have to say this. We. We went to Gustavo's wedding, which was just a lovely affair.

[Chris Hoadley]

It looked so fun.

[Brian Greene]

Lovely affair. You know, when you're. When you're in a Venezuelan world and when your universe is Venezuelan, you know that the parties are going to last a long time. They're going to hit hard. You're gonna get Fed well, but you have to have your dancing shoes on because there is no other way to do it. I'm going through Europe with three small children. Okay, there's the number three small children. I say three to 15 or 12

[Chris Hoadley]

to 15 because it seems like that

[Brian Greene]

is what it seems like. It doesn't matter. After one you did, you might as well say 10 once. And three, you're outnumbered, so it doesn't matter. They're all of calling your name 24 hours a day. One's making a mess while the other one taking a poop. You know, it's a lot. So my kids in Astrid met me in London and then from London we spent a day. Well, here actually, here's what happened. This is really crazy. My father in law, Daniel, they had tickets from Venezuela to go to Madrid and a couple of days before they go, they were looking for their tickets in the email as you would do, or on the app or whatever, and they couldn't find them anywhere. Could not find them anywhere. Ryanair couldn't find them. Okay, so it turns out that Ryanair never completed the transaction. Even though they got to the completion page. They never took the money out of the account. The tickets never were actually there. Even though he had a screenshot of like him, you know, congratulations, reservation. Oh, no, they never sent him an email. They never sent him the tickets. They never had it. So days before he's supposed to be at his son's wedding, he has no tickets to go. And everyone had to scramble to find a way to get them there without spending an extra $17,000. Because from if you think it's expensive to go from Atlanta to Europe, try Venezuela to Spain. Even though actually it's cheaper to go to Venezuela from Venezuela. Astrid and I had this devised, this whole plan. I'm going to be in London anyway. Come to London then from London, I can help you get the kids to Madrid. We all land at the same time. It's basically works out perfectly. I'm going to be in London until Thursday or Friday. You can come in on Friday, we go there on Saturday. The Airbnb is ready on Sunday. We need one night of an extra hotel room. That's it. So it's Wednesday and I'm talking to Astrid and she's getting all of everything ready. I took all the baggage with me. All the heavy baggage came with me.

[Chris Hoadley]

Oh, good.

[Brian Greene]

So that at least she didn't have to deal with that. So she has a couple of carry ons, that's it. And the kids, of course, which are carry ons also, right? And she's gonna make her way through this eight hour flight somehow, some way, some shape, but at least it's the nighttime flight, so, you know, a little bit of sleepy juice and hopefully the kids will go to sleep. And it worked out mostly to plan, by the way. They were. She was very tired when she landed in London, but at least it worked out where the kids slept a little bit and didn't cause a big, a, big drama. But on Tuesday night, we're talking, we're talking about how, you know, I'm going to pick her up, I'm going to get a car, I'm going to do the whole thing, I'll be there, yada yada. And then I said, well, tell me what time the flight is on Saturday so that we, so that I can get us a ride to the airport. So I'll order some Uber ahead of time, right? Because 5pm People, you got to order a big Uber. Right?

[Chris Hoadley]

I've done that before and it works really well.

[Brian Greene]

It works fantastically. You actually put your flight information in, you tell them what time you want to be at the airport, and then about an hour ahead of time, they'll. Hour ahead of when they're going to pick you up. They'll tell you in order to get to the airport on this time, you need to be picked up at this time. Be ready, your driver's on the way. Ordering, reserving an Uber is a really good idea, actually. Y. I soured on Uber for a little while and now I'm back on Uber. Just FYI, Just in case anybody's keeping track, I soured on Airbnb for a while. I'm okay with it. I'm back. I'm back, baby.

[NAACP Sponsor Voice]

I'm back.

[Brian Greene]

I love you, Airbnb. You changed the rules and now I like it.

[Chris Hoadley]

They're not completely redoing their company. I think they want to be like, everything. The Amazon of home stuff. Yeah. Okay.

[Brian Greene]

All right. I don't know if I'm all with all that, but they changed the rules around, like parties and, you know, there are protections. Like if you get to a house and you show up and it's not the one you want, they'll find you another one for the same price. You know, it's like they, they'll take care of you. They gotta, they've, they've been around long enough now. They know how to handle most situations. I can appreciate that. We got two really great airbnbs while we were there. The second one didn't have air conditioning when we showed up, and it was 96 degrees in where we were in Murcia. But. But I will say this, that we just spent one night uncomfortable in the next morning. So we got there, it was clear, the air conditioning wasn't working. The house, the person who managed the house was there to show us around how to turn everything on, how to turn everything off, and it just never got cool. And so. But the next morning, 10:00am, the air conditioning guy was there, ready to fix the problem. And he did. And so, you know, okay, so we had one uncomfortable night. And the Airbnb we had in Madrid, it was in city center, perfectly located. It was a three bedroom apartment. It was huge for something in Madrid. It fit all of us. It was a lovely place. Two full bathrooms. It was lovely. Not a fucking complaint. Good for you, Airbnb. You did it. You did it right. The pictures were the actual pictures that you showed up to. Unlike some hotels I've been to in New York.

[Chris Hoadley]

Fuck you. That's true.

[Brian Greene]

God damn. That's a really shady thing to do. Put pictures of another hotel on your website. Anyway, okay, not the point. Tickets. So I'm like, give me those tickets. Tickets. I'm on the phone with Astrid for a half an hour and she cannot find the tickets. Ryanair tickets. She cannot find them.

[Chris Hoadley]

Your tickets.

[Brian Greene]

Our tickets from London to Madrid.

[Chris Hoadley]

Okay? London.

[Brian Greene]

So I say, okay, give me.

[Chris Hoadley]

Is this after you had already heard about her parents?

[Brian Greene]

Already heard about her parents. Okay, But I didn't put two or two together until I called Ryanair and I call Ryanair and I have a whole conversation with. With Ryanair about this. I say, hey, listen, you know, these are booked through. Oh, no, I'm sorry, it wasn't Ryanair. That's not who it was. Not Lufthansa. Not American. Who's the other one that flies over there? Virgin. Virgin Atlantic. That's who it was. It was Delta through Virgin Atlantic. Okay? So. So I call them up, I say, hey, doodle diddle kitty in the middle. What about my tickets? Here's my wife's name. Here's my name. This guy was awesome. He spent 15 minutes on the phone going through every system he knew how to go through to see if he could find our tickets without any reservation number, with only birth dates and names to go on. And he found where Astrid was on the website, where she had put the tickets in the checkout, where she had gone through the checkout, but for some reason the bank never charged. The bank was never charged for the Tickets. And so now we are days away from home.

[Chris Hoadley]

I can't believe that happened to both of you.

[Brian Greene]

Both of us, Same company, same thing. Probably around the same time. Within this, within a week of each other. Unbelievable. So now we had to scramble to find tickets. So what we ended up doing was staying an extra day in London so that we could buy cheaper tickets. Essentially, right? There was like a $500 difference if we just stayed in one extra day. So we paid $300 for the hotel room, saved some money and then we went and we went around London. London, London. 88 degrees outside. The day that my children got there, the day that we had free, that Saturday, it was 91 degrees.

[Chris Hoadley]

That's wild.

[Brian Greene]

So we walked, walked all the way over to Kensington Palace. To Kensington fucking Palace. From where we were staying near the arch. It was like a mile and a half walk. No, two mile walk. It was not. It was. No, excuse me. It was a four mile walk. 10 miles, 30 mile walk is what it was.

[Chris Hoadley]

Excuse me, excuse me.

[Brian Greene]

This is 100, sorry, 100 mile walk. We walked all the way across Hyde park, all the way into Kensington Palace. And I am telling you what, it was fucking miserable to take that walk.

[Chris Hoadley]

The heat.

[Brian Greene]

Yes.

[NAACP Sponsor Voice]

Yeah.

[Brian Greene]

So on the way back we say, okay, none of this, right? Let's get on that tube, which I've only been on a few times. But I say, okay, let's go on the tube. So here's how the tube works. The tube works like this. You go down and you go into a tunnel. When you get in that tunnel, you got to figure out where you're going. And when you figure out where you're going, that's fine. You got to pay to get there. Now it's not like the old days where you would buy a ticket and then you put it in the little machine or you give it to the ticket taker or whatever. No, ticket takers probably have been ticket taker since 1992. But you put it into little slot, the gate opens or that little rolly thing, you can go in and then you go and you get on your train, right? No, that your tube. That's not how it works anymore. Now you don't even buy tickets. You tap your credit card. Okay, okay. We are at the Hyde park station and we are trying to just go a couple of stops down. And I've got my kids a stroller, my wife and I got my credit card out and I beep it boop like that. And Astrid walks through and the gate closes again like that. And Then I. Boop. And I'm like, oh, am I getting declined?

[Chris Hoadley]

Boop.

[Brian Greene]

Little message reader says, you know, error or decline. Already passed. Already passed. And I'm like, I know I already passed, but now I gotta get more people. There's no one around to help us. Nothing. There's hundreds of people are backing up behind us. And I'm like, boop, Boop. So I take out a different credit card.

[Instacart Ad Voice]

Boop. Bing.

[Chris Hoadley]

Okay.

[Brian Greene]

Door opens. I shove one of my kids through. I'm like, get a fuck through there right quick. Yeah, quick. Falls down, you know, I just throw her through. Get the fuck to. And then. And then my other kid's trying to go by, and I'm like, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop. And the thing closes. The glass thing goes like this. Closes. And then I go, hold on one second.

[Instacart Ad Voice]

Bing.

[Chris Hoadley]

Oh, no. It wasn't letting you double use.

[Brian Greene]

So then someone goes, hi. Tap it once. And I go, what? And he goes, you got to tap it once. And I go, I did tap it once, but now I'm trying to tap it again to go through. Tap it once. Everybody walks through. And I go, no, I'm not trying to cheat the system. He goes, it counts you as you go through. And I'm like, oh. He goes, that's why it says already passed. You've already put your credit card in. You should have been charged for everybody.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Greene]

And I go, so what do I do now? Because now I gotta find a new credit card. I don't have a new credit card. I am. Okay? I have one credit card. I didn't know that's how it works. You tap it and then you. They just count you as you go through. Yeah. You just kind of walk through and they count and they charge you. Oh, my God. So embarrassing. But we got on that tube, and everyone was so excited to just be zipping through that, too.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Greene]

That tube is awesome. I love it. It's great. And unlike New York. Yeah. Not a huge fan of the subway, if I'm being honest.

[NAACP Sponsor Voice]

Yeah.

[Brian Greene]

I mean, it's okay. It's okay. Depending on it's okay. But we got to the Hyde Park.

[Instacart Ad Voice]

It was Chrissy.

[Brian Greene]

It was so hot out there, man. It was just so sweltering. We were at Kensington, pal. Even the guards.

[Chris Hoadley]

Oh, God, they're in those fur hats and stuff.

[Brian Greene]

One guard kept on, like, boots, and then switching his gun to his other side and then. And then switching his gun to his other side. He probably did this once every minute. And I was. And. But the other guard was Perfectly still on the other side.

[NAACP Sponsor Voice]

Yeah.

[Brian Greene]

And. And my kids were like, why is he doing that? And I said, I think because he's fucking hot, if I'm being honest. I think because he's hot and uncomfortable.

[Chris Hoadley]

Huh.

[Brian Greene]

And so I think he has to click his heels twice like, you know, Judy with the red ruby slipper.

[Rachel]

Right.

[Brian Greene]

In order to move his gun. Oh, we went to the.

[Instacart Ad Voice]

The.

[Brian Greene]

It's the Museum of Natural Science there. Of science. Excuse me.

[Instacart Ad Voice]

There.

[Brian Greene]

Holy. That we went to.

[Chris Hoadley]

I bet the museums are great there.

[Brian Greene]

This is what I wanted to say. I was forgetting and now I remember. Okay, guess where we went.

[NAACP Sponsor Voice]

Where?

[Brian Greene]

Westminster Abbey. We went to the Westminster Abbey. I have never in my life. Okay, the Westminster Abbey. We all have heard of it.

[Guest Singer]

It.

[Brian Greene]

You've probably seen pictures of the inside of it. It is a huge abbey, a huge church, essentially, like a cathedral sized church. It's incredibly large. We go. And there's lines everywhere. And we try and go in one line and there's a bunch of guards there. And they're saying, no, you can't go in here. You got to go in there. And so we go over there and there's. You have to. You have to buy tickets. And I'm like, oh, you have to buy tickets. Like most churches, like cathedrals in. In Europe that I've been to, you don't have to pay an entrance fee. Unless it's like the Sagrada Familia in Barcelona. Then I understood. Did you see, by the way, that Pope was at the Sagrada last night?

[Chris Hoadley]

No.

[Brian Greene]

And they did a whole light show with that. With that cathedral and a live orchestra and choir.

[Chris Hoadley]

Wow.

[Brian Greene]

You have to watch it, Chrissy. It's probably one of the most impressive things I've ever seen in my entire life. Fireworks, the whole nine yard. I'm sure that's exactly what he was thinking about when he built that cathedral. Let's put fire. Let's make it the Disney Castle. But anyway, it's beautiful. Watch it. Okay, so we buy tickets. It's rather expensive, I'm thinking to myself, to go see a church. I mean, I know. And Astro's like, didn't. Did they. Did they get married here, like, die and. No, I don't think so. No. I think they got married at the Church of England, which is a different thing, a different place. But the Westminster Abbey, you know, it's world famous. So I'm saying let's culture the kids a little bit. Let's just pay and we'll go in there. So we go we get some headsets. We walk in. Astrid's got her headset in. Some of the kids have. Have headsets. I don't have mine on because I'm trying to get my kids, you know, kind of. Of fucking move along. And I'm walking, and as I'm walking, I walk over a big plot, like a big thing that's in the. On the ground. And it says Sir Isaac Newton. And I was like, oh, okay, cool. They made a little plaque for. Look, honey, they made a plaque for Sir Isaac Newton. She's got her headset in Sir Isaac Newton. Isaac Apple. Newton, the apple guy. You know what I'm talking about? And she goes, no, that's his body. And I go, what?

[NAACP Sponsor Voice]

Yeah.

[Brian Greene]

She goes, that's his body?

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah. They bury people.

[Brian Greene]

And I go, that's his body? That's his body. Sir Isaac Newton is buried inside of the Westminster Abbey. And you can walk on him.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Greene]

You can take your fat feet and put them on Sir Isaac Newton's bones. Charles the First, Charles ii, Second. Edward I, Edward iii. Queens of all manners and. And shapes. Nelson Mandela. Oh, my God. How many people are in this abbey that are literally entrained or buried in this abbey? It's quite unbelievable, actually. I was just super impressed. Queen Elizabeth is not there, though. Queen. The most recent Queen Elizabeth. She is not there. She's buried somewhere else. But. But I was just so fucking impressed at how many dead people were in the Westminster Abbey. It's a creepy, creepy lovely place. It's beautiful. But there are, you know, sarcophagus everywhere where, you know, bodies are and, you know, someone's ashes are down there. And it's just a. It's a living, breathing monument to history and dead people. And I thought it was super and endlessly fascinating.

[Chris Hoadley]

Very interesting.

[Brian Greene]

My kids, however, did not feel the same way. So we weren't there too long. But, you know, I kept on telling us Sir Isaac Newton right there. They kept saying, so who, who cares? Who else was it? Let's see here. Buried at Westminster Abbey. Yeah, I just want a list. Can you give me a list? There are 3,300 people buried.

[NAACP Sponsor Voice]

Wow.

[Brian Greene]

At the Westminster. That's a lot, Chrissy. That's a lot. King James the First, but. But there was someone that I was like, really impressed with. Charles Darwin. Charles Darwin. That's who I walked over first. But then I also walked over Sir Isaac Newton. Stephen hawking, Charles Dicken T.S. eliot, Jeffrey Chauncer. They're all buried there. They're all buried there.

[Chris Hoadley]

Very cool.

[Brian Greene]

You Got to go see this.

[Chris Hoadley]

Oh, yeah.

[Brian Greene]

Handel, the composer is there. Beethoven? No, I don't know if. But I think it would be cool if he was. But you got to go there, Chrissy.

[Chris Hoadley]

I will.

[Brian Greene]

You're not cultured enough.

[Chris Hoadley]

Maybe when we go to Venice, then.

[Brian Greene]

When are you going?

[Chris Hoadley]

I'll go to Rome. No, no, Rome. When we go to Rome. We talked about this yesterday. We're gonna go to Rome for the podcast conference.

[Brian Greene]

That's right.

[Chris Hoadley]

And then maybe when I'm over there, I'll pop over to London.

[Brian Greene]

How do I get my boss to pay for both of us to go? I think it. I think he. I think it's just something he needs.

[Chris Hoadley]

Just expensive. Write it off. Yeah, it's a write off.

[Brian Greene]

It's an extra $15,000 to go to Rome. I was looking at tickets yesterday. I'm like, well, I'd love to justify this, but I don't know that I think I can. But I don't know that I can. I was like, I gotta start making meetings. Oh, it's totally insane.

[Chris Hoadley]

It's crazy.

[Brian Greene]

It's insane. You just. You can't. You can't just pick up and go to. No, you just can't pick up and go to Venice like you used to

[Chris Hoadley]

be able to do.

[Brian Greene]

You can't go for the weekend like you used to be able to.

[Chris Hoadley]

It's awful.

[Brian Greene]

Things are getting crazy.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Greene]

We gotta stop this war.

[NAACP Sponsor Voice]

Yes.

[Brian Greene]

We gotta release the upstairs.

[Chris Hoadley]

It looks like things are ramping back up.

[Brian Greene]

They're bombing the shit out of them again. And God bless, because people die in those things. And that makes me sad. Yeah. Because, you know, it's not all bad guys. I'm sure it's not. War is fucking hell, and it's not all bad guys. And it goes both ways, so don't expect that. You know, we've heard the last of this, so if we get out of the sit room and stop talking about your nipples, maybe we can fix this war. You know what I'm saying? God damn it. If only the Barenaked Ladies were back together. Yeah, listen, Rush is back together. Why are not the Bare Naked Ladies?

[Chris Hoadley]

Maybe that's imminent.

[Brian Greene]

I'm sure the Barenaked Ladies are on tour. They've gotta be.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Greene]

You think that Bare Naked Ladies ever stopped touring?

[Chris Hoadley]

I was gonna say I just kind of always thought of them as being around somewhere.

[Brian Greene]

Barenaked Ladies tour. If Dave Matthews is still playing. Oh, they're coming to the Ameris Bank Amphitheater. Look at that. In a month from now. Oh, Chrissy, why don't we go?

[Chris Hoadley]

So they were. They did reunite, or is the guy not Steve?

[Brian Greene]

No, he hasn't been in the band 20 years, probably. Oh, wow. They're in an extensive tour and they can still fill a place like Ameris Bank.

[Chris Hoadley]

There's got to be some other bands playing too.

[Brian Greene]

I got them. Imagine. They can't be the only ones, right?

[Chris Hoadley]

No, because.

[Brian Greene]

Do they really have that kind of cachet anymore?

[Chris Hoadley]

It's probably part of some, like, 90s tour.

[Brian Greene]

Yeah. Let me see here. Bare Naked Ladies tour. It just says Bare Naked Ladies. Oh, and train.

[Chris Hoadley]

Old train.

[Brian Greene]

Let's see if there's any tickets available. Unbelievably. Unbelievably. Chrissy, tickets are still available.

[Chris Hoadley]

Oh, God.

[Brian Greene]

For as low as $18. So maybe we can go and I can see if I can rekindle some of that old Bare Naked Ladies magic that I have.

[Chris Hoadley]

Mojo.

[Brian Greene]

Yeah. You could be my new Jess.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Greene]

Yeah. I'll feed you to the wolves, right?

[Chris Hoadley]

I've been that lamb before.

[Brian Greene]

Yeah, I remember we were trying to

[Chris Hoadley]

figure out, like, how we were a backstage lamb.

[Brian Greene]

We didn't make it to Birmingham, in case anybody wants to know.

[Instacart Ad Voice]

End of the story.

[Brian Greene]

And the reason we didn't is because me and my dancer girlfriend at the time or the girl I was dating stayed up for, like, two straight days and decided that since neither of us had a car, we couldn't go. Yeah, but hey, listen, there's only so much Bare Naked Ladies you can handle.

[Chris Hoadley]

At one time.

[Brian Greene]

Drove into the own. This is where all we used to live. All right. Chrissy and I will be back next Tuesday, Wednesday, and possibly Thursday. If you're good children, if you're good. If you get your scooter ass through the Thursday, right? Oh, yeah. Wednesday and Thursday. I'm sorry, I'm gone on Tuesday. Yeah. Wednesday and Thursday of next week, 1:00pm YouTube.com the commercial break. Okay, Chrissy, that's all I can do for today. I'll tell you that I love you.

[Chris Hoadley]

I love you.

[Brian Greene]

Best to you. Best to you out there in the podcast universe. Until next time, Chrissy and I will. Will say. We do say. And we must say goodbye.

[NAACP Sponsor Voice]

All of us have fought long and hard to make a better world for ourselves and our children. That's why I'm asking you to join me in supporting the NAACP Go online now.

[Brian Greene]

Sailing to see this one. Sample.