Beach Too Sandy, Bryan Too Breaky

Summary

The Commercial Break

Episode: Beach Too Sandy, Bryan Too Breaky

Date: December 3, 2025
Guests: Christine & Zandy of "Beach Too Sandy, Water Too Wet"
Host: Bryan Green (with Chrissy Hoadley absent this episode)

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Overview

This high-energy, banter-driven episode features Bryan Green collaborating with sibling duo Christine and Zandy, creators of the cult-favorite comedy podcast “Beach Too Sandy, Water Too Wet.” The episode meanders through podcasting origin stories, the dark comedy of online reviews, sibling rivalry, bizarre community platform antics, and managing public critique—all wrapped in sharp wit and the show's trademark irreverence. Listeners are treated to an off-the-rails chat about internet oddities and human nature, plus live reactions to absurd Nextdoor posts.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Guest/Premise Introduction (14:00–16:00)

• Christine and Zandy’s Background: Siblings, sharing “similar trauma bonding and a similar sense of humor,” started their podcast together in late 2018, making them early adopters pre-dating the Covid podcast boom.

  "We've been working together since 1991 and 1993...a contentious time as youths, but as adults we figured ‘let's do this weird thing together.'" – Zandy (14:07)

• Show Format of Beach Too Sandy: Each week, they pick a theme, read one-star reviews found online, and roast both the reviewers and, sometimes, the businesses.

  "We read negative reviews from the Internet, basically...us making fun of these reviewers or sometimes defending these poor employees." – Christine (15:04)

2. Sibling Dynamics & Skydiving Rivalries (16:00–21:30)

• Sibling Bickering: Their authentic bickering is a fan favorite—mirrored by Bryan's own sibling-heavy upbringing.
• Skydiving Anecdotes: A lighthearted but revealing exchange about both families’ failed attempts to include each other in terrifying adventures:

  "I felt a disturbance in the force...No one had texted me for a couple of days...they were all going skydiving and didn't tell me." – Bryan (16:47)
  "We went skydiving because our mother guilted us into it for her birthday...I was upset they didn’t invite me, then they surprised me with a ticket." – Christine (17:48)

3. The Dark Art of Online Reviews (22:00–34:00)

• Empathy for Service Workers: Reading bad reviews has made the Beach Too Sandy hosts more empathetic to those in customer service roles.

  "It’s definitely emboldened us...when we started, people emailed like ‘Thank you for making me laugh about reviews I’ve gotten at work.'" – Zandy (23:11)

• Handling Criticism and Trolls:

  "I used to take criticism very harshly...but then I learned people in bad jobs sometimes read their own reviews and laugh about it." – Christine (23:54)
  "Why do we care what people say about our stupid podcast if there are people getting bullied by old women just for working?" – Zandy (24:28)

• The Worst Reviews & Going Too Far: Sometimes the material is unexpectedly heavy or offensive.

  "The toughest one for me was veterinarians. I thought it’d be funny, but it was all people losing pets...nothing funny." – Zandy (30:18) "Yelp allows a lot of words I'm shocked they allow. You can put slurs and they're still there 10 years later." – Christine (30:14)

• Trolling & AI-Generated Reviews:

  "We’re seeing so many AI reviews now—someone just plugged something into ChatGPT and it makes this long, pointless review." – Christine (33:11)

4. Comments, Politics, and the Cultural Zeitgeist (38:00–43:00)

• Politics in Everything: Even restaurant reviews and app posts become battlegrounds as political divides seep in.

  "Reviews about libraries devolve into debates about pride flags and drag shows...It’s a privilege to not be affected by politics, but it’s everywhere." – Christine & Zandy (39:48)

• Navigating Listener Feedback & Free Speech: Bryan recounts building constructive dialog even with critical listeners.

  "I said something political, a listener said 'stay in your lane' but over months we ended up agreeing more than not. Maybe I should speak up more..." – Bryan (43:37)

5. Nextdoor Reading Session (44:00–54:00)

A riotous segment--Bryan shares real (and probably some troll) Nextdoor community posts for group commentary, with the trio riffing on the surreal world of neighborhood drama:

• Sample Posts:

  • "Has anyone else seen the googly eyeballs on the mailbox...? Should I call the police or go to city hall?" – Rhonda, as read by Bryan (45:23)
  • "Found 19 inch MacBook Pro inside of stranger’s unlocked car – does anyone recognize?" (46:26)
  • "I want to say a big thank you and a big f-u to my neighbor who sicked the raccoon on my garbage..." (47:12)
  • Lost chicken/Found chicken: "Found chicken – tastes great with barbecue sauce." (50:00)

• Host and Guest Reactions:

  "These people are unhinged...you stole it and post about it?" – Bryan (47:01)
  "Who you got, Snow White over there, controlling raccoons?" – Christine (47:44)
  "These people are just waiting at their Hotmail inbox, ready to troll..." – Zandy (50:12)

• HOA Humor & Neighborhood Pet Peeves:

  • "If your dog poops on my lawn one more time, as HOA president I’ll get all dogs banned from the neighborhood. You’ve been warned." (53:47)
  • "HOA is all grief, no one pats you on the back. You make decisions, spend money, get yelled at." – Bryan (55:30)

6. Podcasting Logistics & Bicoastal Banter (34:35–38:00)

• Where They Live & Work: Both siblings now remote, with Zandy in Northern Kentucky (eclectic commentary on midwestern vibes) and Christine having recently moved to New York.
• Being Digital Nomads: Christine mentions considering another move, appreciating podcasting’s flexibility.

7. Show Cross-Promotion and Community Overlap (56:30–58:20)

• Name Origins:

  "We found real reviews of people complaining the beach was 'too sandy' and water 'too wet.' We picked those for the show name." – Christine (56:52)

• Call to Listeners:

  "We know there’s cross-stream listenership...go follow BeachTooSandy.com, and we’ll keep having each other on." – Bryan (62:10)

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Notable Quotes/Memorable Moments (with Timestamps)

• On Online Reviewers:

  • "Yelp allows a lot of words I'm shocked they allow. Slurs can stay 10 years later." – Christine (30:14)

• On Sibling Betrayal:

  • "I felt a disturbance in the force...my brothers didn't tell me they were skydiving because they knew I wouldn’t do it." – Bryan (16:47)

• On Nextdoor Posts:

  • "Who you got, Snow White over there, controlling raccoons?” – Christine (47:44)
  • "Lost chicken! ...Next post: Found chicken—tastes great with barbecue sauce." – Bryan (50:00)

• On Podcast Criticism:

  • "Why do we care what people say about our stupid podcast if people are getting bullied by old women just for working?” – Zandy (24:28)

• On Podcasting for a Living:

  • "I would say you're both winning. You're doing a podcast for a living. You're doing OK." – Bryan (34:07)

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• Intro to Beach Too Sandy & Podcast Background: 14:00–15:45
• Sibling Rivalry & Skydiving Stories: 16:00–21:30
• Empathy and Impact of Bad Reviews: 22:00–26:30
• The Politics of Online Reviews: 38:00–43:00
• Reading and Reacting to Nextdoor Madness: 44:00–54:00
• Podcast Mobility & Life Decisions: 34:35–38:00
• Name Origins and Cross-Promotion Wrap Up: 56:30–58:20

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Final Thoughts

The episode is a raucous, layered exploration of the comedy and pathos within online reviews, neighborhood shenanigans, and the unique alchemy of long friendships & sibling partnerships in podcasting. It’s both cathartic and silly—full of quotable lines and meta-humor about the absurdities of internet culture, with a touch of endearing self-deprecation.

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Find more from Bryan, Christine, and Zandy:

• BeachTooSandy.com
• TCB Podcast
• Follow on Instagram: @thecommercialbreak | @brianwgreen

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Recommended If: You love improv-style comedy, sibling banter, and finding the ridiculous in the everyday digital world.
Skip if: You can’t handle irreverence, or tales about raccoons on the loose.

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Want to be on the show? Leave a voicemail: 212-433-3822.

Transcript

[Brian Green]

This episode is sponsored by Jack Archer. As a man, finding a good pair of pants can feel impossible. Jack Archer's jetsetter tech pants make that easy. These are the one pair you need. They're built with advanced fabric sourced from Japan that resists wrinkles, stains and odors. Whether it's a long flight, a workday or a night out, these pants do it all. With customizable fit options and thousands of five star reviews. Trust us, these are the one pair of pants you'll actually want to wear every day. And they just launched a matching blazer in the same unbelievable fabric, all for an amazing price of $249. For the suit, it's a no brainer. For a limited time, get 15% off using the code [e-mail] again, that's the promo code getjack@jackarcher dot com for that 15% off your entire order. And thanks to Jack Archer for being a sponsor of the commercial break. This episode is sponsored by five Hour Energy Caffeine just got a flavor upgrade with what they call tasty caffeine. 17 bold flavors that actually taste good. You know that midday moment when your brain just stalls out, but you still have a full list of things to do. Well, that's when I reach for a five hour energy shot. Each tiny two ounce shot has about as much caffeine as a 12 ounce premium cup of coffee. But with zero sugar and zero crash. It's big flavor packed into the smallest, easiest bottle. Perfect for tossing in your bag, in your car, really, anywhere. And since it's still fall, they've brought back the ultimate seasonal favorite, pumpkin spice. Ah yes, pumpkin spice. A little cinnamon, a little swagger. Sweet, rich and totally cozy without being heavy. Fuel your day with tasty caffeine. Available in store and [e-mail] or get it delivered by Amazon. Give yourself a caffeine flavor upgrade with Five Hour Energy Shots. Get yours in store and online five hour energy.com or on Amazon. Today. On this episode of the commercial break, I want to read a few next door posts to you that I've been collecting and we'll all comment on them together.

[Zandy]

We rarely touch on nextdoor and I feel like that is like prime content. So good. Good on you. That's a great.

[Brian Green]

Everyone is worried about TikTok and the teenagers with TikTok. Everyone is Snapchatting. You know, they're worried about 16 year olds, Snapchat, Snapchatting, their ding dongs and Willie hoo hoos. And Facebook has become a cesspool for, you know, the greatest generation that never was there to, you know, continue to suck up more billions from the poor people next door is the most dangerous application available today. Whoa. The next episode of the commercial break starts now. Oh, yeah. Cats and kittens, welcome back to the commercial break. I'm Brian Green. And I'm Brian Green. And here we are the week after Thanksgiving. You know, there comes a time in every young boy's life when he must venture out into the wild and go find himself another podcast to be on. And no, I'm not talking about after the break, which has picked up production. And you can check that out after the break on any one of the podcast players. You're listening to this too. Or follow me at Brian W. Green on Instagram links in the show notes and I'll let you know when I'm going live. During the evenings, you can get involved in the conversation. I am talking about the podcast beach to Sandy Water Too Wet, which is a fine podcast that has been doing very well for itself in this kind of bootstrapped creator economy that we live in. These are not pre baked celebrities that have some big fancy podcasts with millions of dollars and a fancy network and billion dollar contracts with Spotify. These are a brother and a sister who got together a number of years ago and decided to create a podcast that is called Beach 2 Sandy Water Too Wet Name too long. Now they will admit that themselves, but it's still pretty catchy, you gotta admit. So what is beach two Sandy Water to Wet about? Well, think about. It's about reviews. Funny, interesting, bad, terrible, provocative, sometimes sad reviews on the Internet of many different things. And according to Christine and Zandy, the brother and sister who do this podcast, there was actually a review of a Airbnb or something like that, motel, hotel, resort, and someone complained that the beach was too sandy, the water was too wet. Now that could have been a troll, but it's pretty funny. It's pretty funny no matter what it is. And we do something very similar here on the show every once in a while with our next door. But these, these two do it. That's exclusively what they do. And they have garnered quite an audience, quite a large community, and they've even been on tour. And when I had a chance to be with them a couple of weeks ago, they had just gotten back from their very successful tour. I encourage you to go to beach to sandy.com where you can get all the information. You can follow them on any of the podcast players you're listening to the commercial break on and there it's just a great show. It's a great show. I've known about it for years. I know we have audience members that listen to it for years. When I mentioned a couple of weeks ago I was going to be on their show, we got lots of text messages mentioning how excited they were about this particular collab, if you will. And I was excited when we had the opportunity come along. So I've been on their show. This is kind of like my show, their show, your show. We all got together one afternoon and now we're sharing it all in the larger diaspora that is the Internets. And so now it's my turn to share what we created together one lazy afternoon. Now, Chrissy was not available when this happened, but she gave me her blessing. She said, go do it. Go be on it. And I did. And here's what not here, but in a few minutes you'll hear the result of that. Beachusandy.com all the podcast players, I encourage you to go follow them. We didn't do this for our health. We would like to get these. We know you're listening to both podcasts, some of you, we want to get you on our RSS feeds, so please go over there. I now have to do my part and push you over in that direction because I'm sure they've done their part and pushed people in our direction. I should probably go listen to that. I don't think I've heard it yet. But I will tell you this about my time with Xandy and Christine. I really enjoyed it. I had a great deal of fun. It was a laugh a minute. They're great people, good human beings and they're really fucking funny to boot. And Christine also has a number of other projects also that you can check out. I'm sure you can get connected to all of that with links in my show notes on this episode. So as I recover from my annual traditional Thanksgiving stomach bug and Chrissy stays far the hell away from me as possible, we will put one more episode out and then we'll be back to the normal course of business tomorrow for you. Now, couple things. You can now watch all the recordings of non interview episodes, non infomercial episodes of the commercial break. You can watch Those live on YouTube, Twitch and Kick. You can follow us at the commercial break on Instagram. We'll let you know about 15, 30 minutes before we're going live. Or you can hit the notification button on any of those platforms and they will notify you. When we go live, you can get involved in the conversation. We're already chatting it up with people while we're recording. Soon we'll have the ability to bring you in video audio so you can come in and be a part of the commercial break. Isn't that exciting? Technology? Ooh, space. And, yeah, that's how it's going to go. Lots of changes coming for season number seven. So stay tuned. Stay with us. Also after the break. Now pick back up a more raw version of after the Break. You go listen to it. I'm not going to make this all about after the break, but you can go listen to episode number two and then also get involved with live recordings. Chat with me, text with me, and possibly jump on with me during those recordings. Follow me. Brian W. Green at Instagram. I mean, at Brian W. Green on Instagram. You know what the fuck I'm saying? Why do I have to repeat myself a million times? Not like you asked me to, but I just feel like, I don't know, I feel like I need to repeat things a million. I'm in the old radio standard. The old radio standard was you needed to repeat things 3.5 times in order for people to get it through their heads in order for them to actually pop up and pay attention. So I'm now in this kind of. I have this wheel in my head going that anytime I say something like a phone number or an Instagram address or a URL, I have to repeat it three times. But the truth is, you're smart enough. We're all big boys and girls. We can remember things, right? Brian W. Green. Ryan W. Green. Ryan W. Green. There you go. And BeachTwoSandy.com, beachToSandy.com, BeachToRosandy.com I'm going to take a short break, and when I get back, the results of a long afternoon with Christine and Zandy. From beach to sandy water Too wet. I will share those with you. We will all have a laugh, probably at my expense. We'll be back.

[Rachel]

Hey, it's Rachel, your new voice of God here on tcb. And just like you, I'm wondering just how much longer this podcast can continue. Let's all rejoice that another episode has made it to your ears. And I'll rejoice that my check is in the mail. Speaking of mail, get your free TCB sticker in the mail by going to tcbpodcast.com and visiting the Contact Us page. You can also find the entire commercial break library audio and video just in case you want to look at [e-mail] Want your voice to be on an episode of the show? Leave us a message at 212-4333, TCB. That's 212-433-3822. Tell us how much you love us and we'll be sure to let the world know on a future episode. Or you could make fun of us. That'd be fine too. We might not air that, but maybe. Oh, and if you're shy, that's okay. Just send a text. We'll respond. Now I'm gonna go check the mailbox for payment while you check out our sponsors and then we'll return to this episode of the Commercial Break.

[Brian Green]

This episode is sponsored by our longtime sponsor, Squarespace. I am working on a new project information tbd. It's very secretive. It's very hush around here because, you know, podcast secrets are a thing. Anywho, there is only one all in one website tool that's designed to help my new project stand out and be successful. And that one tool is Squarespace. Squarespace can help me through every step of the process. The launch, the scaling, the branding and the growth, no matter what part of the journey I am on. Squarespace is an all in one website platform, so it'll cater to my needs every step of the way. There are so many benefits, services and tools built into Squarespace, I would need a 10 minute commercial to name them all. Cutting edge design, search engine optimization tools, domain management, analytics, email campaigns, the ability to host videos, and most importantly, the ability to get paid. So if you've been thinking about building or upgrading your website, now's the time to head to squarespace.com commercial for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, make sure to use the offer code commercial to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or a domain. That's squarespace.com commercial. Then be sure to use the code commercial when you're ready to launch. Squarespace has been with the commercial break for a long time and we have been with Squarespace for even longer. This is a company we trust. It's a product we use. And there's one overarching reason why it makes my life easier. Go build yourself a beautiful website squarespace.com commercial and thank you to Squarespace for being a sponsor of the commercial break. TikTok for business is helping owners like.

[Christine]

You reach new customers every day.

[Zandy]

We saw up to a 10x return on our TikTok shop ads. A few years ago, I started sharing my love for fashion on social media and Willow Boutique was born. We're not just a place to shop. We've really become a community. TikTok allows us to find more people to have that great experience.

[Sponsor Voice]

I cannot imagine my business without TikTok.

[Zandy]

It's completely changed my life and I could not be happier.

[Christine]

Head over to get started.TikTok.com TikTokapps.

[Brian Green]

And Zandi and Christine are here with us now. Here with me now because Kristy's not here. Hey, I know. But you know, sometimes this does happen. She's just the lazier of the two of us. So she does not.

[Christine]

Yeah, you've been saying that.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, yeah. See something happened.

[Zandy]

People say that about her.

[Brian Green]

You know people do say that about her. Well no, what people say about her is when will Brian let her talk? That's what people say about her. So interesting.

[Christine]

Not today. Apparently not today.

[Zandy]

Yeah, well, today everything will be just fine.

[Brian Green]

Today it's our turn to that I usually retort with a couple paragraphs in reinforcing the message that I don't shut up. Reinforcing it.

[Zandy]

I like it.

[Brian Green]

Congratulations on the success of the podcast. So successful, as we were discussing just a few minutes ago, that the commercial break has actually done advertising on your show. And so how long are we into the show now? How long have we been doing this? Oh, they're by the way, it's for those who don't know who are listening and you should go tune in brother and sister. So this is how the two of them got together.

[Zandy]

So we've been working together since 1991 and 1993. Our respective.

[Christine]

I was like, I was not around then.

[Zandy]

You're old contentious time for the most part as youths. But then as we got older and moved to la, we were like let's. We have similar trauma bonding and also, you know, similar sense of humor and it's just. It was 20 end of 2018, I think so it was however much math. That is seven.

[Brian Green]

That's a lot. Yeah, that's seven and a half years or something like that. Seven years, is it eight years? I don't know. Carry the one plus two. Yeah, don't ask me. Mathing is not my thing. So you're kind of early in on the podcast like your pre podcast bubble which comes during COVID when everybody decides they're going to get a podcast and clubhouse and all the spaces and all the other shit. And you've been met with some success in the premise of the Podcast. I'll let you explain it to our listeners.

[Christine]

Sure. We read negative reviews from the Internet, basically. So we read a lot of one star reviews from places like Yelp and TripAdvisor. Try to do a different theme each week, and then we have a little challenge with it too. So one that we did recently that was fun. It was reviews where the reviewer says, do you know who I am? Because those are always so funny. People are so ridiculous. So it's usually us making fun of these reviewers or trying to defend these poor employees at all these different businesses who have to deal with the worst people ever. But we ended up having a lot of fun because we are also siblings. So we bicker a lot.

[Rachel]

Yeah.

[Zandy]

People will be like, stop arguing. Like, stop arguing. And I'm like, it's not possible.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, no, that's. I think that's part of the. Having tuned in. I think that's part of the fun. Part of the fun is that you, as someone who has a lot of siblings, you can understand where you're coming from. It's a debate or argument that I would see myself having with someone else.

[Christine]

How many siblings do you have?

[Brian Green]

I've got a twin brother and then I've got two younger brothers. So we're a good, solid Irish Catholic family, almost a basketball team.

[Zandy]

I heard about the parasailing or whatever. No, the skydiving. I listened to that episode recently and your twin brother. You found out your brothers were skydiving with them.

[Brian Green]

I am terrified of heights.

[Zandy]

Straight to, like, oh. They were like, oh, we'll get over here. And I was like, oh, my God, I would be so hurt if all my siblings. But then also I wouldn't want to participate. But yeah, I feel like you had every right to be annoyed about that.

[Brian Green]

I would be annoyed. I was annoyed. And they purposefully didn't tell me.

[Zandy]

And then you said, my twin. And I went, your twin?

[Christine]

Did you feel it? Like your twin jumped out of the plane and you're like, whoa, why do I feel so unshaky, like, shaky on the ground?

[Brian Green]

I felt a disturbance in the force. No one had texted me for a couple of days. And I was like, what? And then. So I just. On a Saturday, on a lark, I still remember, like, driving down this particular road and going, I should call Kevin and see what he's up to. And I call and I'm like, what's going on? And he's like, oh, just hanging out with Patrick, one of our other brothers. And Danny's on his way. And I said, oh, what are you guys doing? We're skydiving. But don't get upset, because we know you wouldn't do it, so we just decided not to tell you. And I'm like, why didn't you tell me? And they're like, because we know you won't jump out of a plane. You're terrified of heights. You can't stand on a ladder. To which I said, fuck you. I'm on my. Well, no, actually, what he said was, brian, I'm so confident you won't do it. I'll pay for you to do it if you show up. And I showed up just to spite him. And there is video, and I am as white as I have ever been, as they are just about to push me out of a plane. I can't believe I. It. I still can't.

[Christine]

You did it, though. Oh, great. That's so good.

[Zandy]

Listen, we went skydiving because our mother.

[Christine]

So weird. Because we.

[Zandy]

Our mother guilted us into skydiving with.

[Christine]

Her for her, like, no, no, no. That's not what happened. You and our. You. Yeah, you and our. This is. I was getting flashbacks. I was a little shaky just hearing the story, because I can relate. You and our mother. You and our mother, for your birthdays, which are both in the summer, decided to go skydiving together. And we do have a younger sister, but she was too young to go for me. I don't know why you didn't invite me. You just didn't. So of course I got upset. And I was, is that real? Yeah. And then the next day or something, you said, surprise.

[Zandy]

No wonder that story from your podcast really stuck with me. Yeah.

[Christine]

You've done this before. Basically.

[Zandy]

Way too familiar. I didn't realize I had done this exact thing.

[Christine]

Yeah. And sure enough, they were like, oh, we got you a ticket. Now you can join us. And I really didn't want to, but I was, you know, being the little brother, I was like, I have to join. And so I did. And, yeah, it was horribly terrifying. And I'm surprised I did it, but it was really fun.

[Zandy]

Our mom's secretary showed up, and she.

[Christine]

It was a weird foursome.

[Zandy]

It was a weird group. But, yeah, okay, Alexander, you know what? I'm over here going, I would be so upset if my siblings did that to me.

[Christine]

Yeah, I know. I was like, what the hell are you talking about are you doing? I'm like, it's not even that long. I mean, I guess it was, but.

[Zandy]

I tell the story. Like, wow, I didn't want to do it. My mom guilted me into it, and I hated it.

[Christine]

Full of.

[Brian Green]

No, the story is you wanted to do it and you forgot to mention.

[Zandy]

Okay. It's the first time I've ever been on a podcast, and I feel fine. We'll put a flag in it. Okay.

[Brian Green]

Don't take the law into your own hands. You take them to court. So. Wait, hold on. Okay, so I have to ask this question. So are you also terrified of heights? Like, that's your thing?

[Christine]

No.

[Zandy]

I mean, it's.

[Christine]

It's definitely not something I would generally sign up for normally. Like, it was not on my radar.

[Zandy]

Physical thrill seekers. Like, I'm like, I don't need to be jumping off.

[Christine]

Am I a thrill seeker in any other way?

[Zandy]

No, but I mean, like, maybe sometimes psychologically we're, like, not the wisest about spiritually, too. Spiritually, very risky behavior. No, but, you know, physically speaking, I don't want to jump off anything anymore. Anymore. I did apparently really want to.

[Christine]

When I would probably do it again. So I definitely don't think I'm afraid of heights because I would do it again. I don't. I wouldn't seek it out, but it was something like. I remember the moment being like, wow, this is such a unique, cool experience I'm having. And I would do it again.

[Brian Green]

That's all I remember is not being able to breathe and hearing the instructor say scream. I just remember him going, scream. Scream. Yeah, because they had taught. You know, they give you that course, right? I mean, of course.

[Zandy]

I asked, how do you breathe? And they go, oh, you'll just know to breathe. You'll just breathe. And then, of course, it didn't work. I'm like, wait, how do I breathe? I mean, really, it was. I'm so glad you said that, because I was like. I thought I was the only one.

[Brian Green]

No. And the guy. The. My. The guy that, you know, was right on my back, he said, scream. That's what you do. If you scream, the. The air is going out. It's got to come back in. So just scream. That's what you do. Right. And I was like, oh, that sounds smart. But of course, I totally forgot everything the second that I get to the door of the plane. And then they have. I don't know about you, but they had the kind of harness that they had for me. There is this moment after the chute is pulled when they un. Clip a certain part of the parachute. So you can. So instead of your heads being together, you fall a little bit forward, a little bit Down. And I don't think I was also paying attention to that part of the course because I was right.

[Zandy]

Like I remember any of this.

[Brian Green]

I know.

[Christine]

I'm like, this sounds terrifying.

[Brian Green]

There is like this one second, split second when it feels like you're decoupling from the person that you're in front of. Oh, my God. I almost shit myself. I didn't. I enjoyed it. Once the parachute was deployed, then I felt like, okay, at least we have a shot at making it.

[Christine]

But did you do it somewhere in Georgia?

[Brian Green]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I did it in Georgia that's now closed because of multiple deaths.

[Zandy]

That's always comforting.

[Christine]

We've read some reviews of these places. Yeah, there's some interesting stories.

[Zandy]

When you read one star reviews only of every place that you think about and talk about, you really start to get like a different feel for your life. Yeah, it's not for me.

[Brian Green]

I feel like the, the podcast that you have is a little bit. You know, I worked in the service industry, as in the restaurant industry for the first 12 years of my working life from like 14. My parents were like, you want shoes? Go buy them. So I was working at McDonald's as the fry guy on the weekends. Right. At 14, that work permit. And then I worked through my early 20s. And I don't think I can go into a restaurant now and look at it the same way that everybody else does. So I have family members that will. They're just entitled and they don't treat service very well. And it bugs me to no end. It really pisses me off because I look at service in a whole different way. This person's having a bad day. It's this person's first day. Or sometimes I can identify. This person's really bad at what they do. And this is probably not the business for them.

[Zandy]

Yeah, they'll figure it out. Don't worry.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. I sense that if you're reading one star reviews consistently about different things, that maybe you start to look at the world in a little bit of a different way. Does this, does this give you more empathy for the people out there in.

[Christine]

The world who are serving you 100, 100%.

[Zandy]

And it's, it's like, I think we always had that initially, which is why we started the podcast. And we never really worked in the restaurant industry, but we've had all manner of jobs and all that. And we've always grown up in a very similar. With a similar attitude of like, hey, like, let's be compassionate with these people. They're having a hard time or, you know, whatever it might be. And then when we started the podcast, we kind of leaned into that, and people would come and email and say like, oh, my God, like, here's a review I got at work. Thank you for making me laugh about it. You know, it was just like, oh, okay. There is this kind of audience out there who. Who's like, thank you. That's how we feel. So it's definitely emboldened us in movement when we first.

[Christine]

Definitely that. And when we first started, I feel like I was very, like, hard on myself, and I would take criticism very harshly. So when I was reading these one star reviews of these employees, I'd be like, oh, my God, these poor people. But then people started sending in reviews and via email and they'd say, oh, yeah, the crew, we get together and read these one star reviews. And I'm like, oh, my God, I could never do that about my own podcast or my own work that I do. How are these people, like, able to do this shitty job where they're shitty people and then still laugh at the shitty people being shitty? I was always just so impressed by that. It really is.

[Zandy]

Why do we care what people say about our stupid podcast if there are people out there, like, trying to make a living and just getting bullied by old women?

[Christine]

And sure enough, I don't care anymore. We did a review, an episode where we read reviews of our own podcast, and it was one of my favorites.

[Brian Green]

I was just watching some clips of that. Yeah. You know, and Chrissy and I have done this a lot on our show too, and it's not. I learned this statistic when I worked in the restaurant industry. This is long before one star reviews on Reddit, right? This is like before I'm so much older than y' all are. But so when I started working, I don't even know that the telephone existed yet. But they would say, these managers that I worked for, they would say, if you have a good experience, like an average experience, a good experience, Right. You might, if it's like a spectacular experience, tell one other person. But if you have a bad experience, you will tell. Anybody that will listen. So what we want to do is avoid the bad experiences, right? You. It can be, you can have an okay experience, you can have a good experience, but if you have a bad experience, that can destroy the reputation of a restaurant and it can ruin someone's day, essentially. And so at least the. The place where I work, they really kind of ingrained into our heads that customer service was the most important thing. And I feel like that's kind of tailed off in a lot of ways in a lot of places. And we also understand that the people working behind the counter are people too. And the customer is not always right. But that was what was kind of banged into my head when I read some of these reviews. I think about that. I go, you know what the bad reviews are? The people who just don't like the show and they take the time, yeah, you can't win. They take the time to bitch and complain because that's who they are and that's what they do. And we try to take it with a grain of salt. But I will read 10 great reviews about the show, or me or Chrissy or whoever and I forget all of those immediately. Second the bad review comes in, I'm like, well that motherfucker.

[Zandy]

Even just as an instinctual reaction, then you can pull away from it.

[Christine]

But at that first still, it's always that case.

[Zandy]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So it's been, it's, it's been a, it's kind of broke, broken open a lot of conversations around that.

[Brian Green]

Yeah.

[Christine]

And like I found the people who really have feedback will email us or something will like actually want to have a conversation with us rather than just post on post a one star review shitting on us in some way. Like the people who actually have concerns or feedback that is useful will usually reach out to us in other ways. But I do find you're. It's so true that there's so many one star reviews we read where people will say, oh, I always love coming here except today, like, well, so you finally wrote a review. And it was only because I hated what happened today.

[Zandy]

10 years and today I had a terrible time and I'm writing a micro.

[Christine]

They don't think how that, oh, maybe they could have written a five star when they had a great time. But no, they only write the one star because that's what they remember.

[Brian Green]

And I guess, I guess if you think about human nature just for a second, it kind of makes sense. Yeah, it's like when we're angry, that's when we're fired up and we want to take control over something. We want, you know, we want to control how the outcome is. I'll get you, I'll, I'll be on top. I'll figure it out.

[Zandy]

Out.

[Brian Green]

People don't sometimes realize the power of their, their own words. Has anybody ever identified that this review is about me and I want to call these people or text them or Email them and let them know that this was. I mean, I know that it's such a vast sea of reviews that it's like finding a needle in a haystack, but when I was thinking about this this morning, I was curious if you have ever had someone go, I think that's about me and I should reach out.

[Christine]

I don't remember because I feel like there might have been.

[Zandy]

There may. I don't know if we've ever had someone do that. We definitely have had people send in reviews mentioning them. So they'll say, like, my boss sends over, like, this was written on. And then. Which is always fun because then they'll give a. The backstory, like, for context, you know, this woman came in drunk and she was carrying a dog or whatever. Of course, the stuff the reviewer is leaving out of the review.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, of course.

[Zandy]

So that's always fun. But I don't know that we've ever had someone say, like.

[Christine]

I mean, like, where we pick one and then someone else is like, wait, that's me. Yeah, I don't think we've had that yet. But we. We were just in Omaha and did a live show there. And we walk into the green room and there's a printed out, one star review of the venue. And they were. So they showed it to us and it was honestly, like, pretty. Like pretty normal. It wasn't that crazy. But then the owner said, like, oh, yeah, this person was high on Molly. They were like, hiding. They were in this alleyway. And what we were like, oh, all of this is missing from this review. This is amazing context. We're so glad you shared this with us because we would have been like, oh, okay, that's annoying that they wrote this. Oh, there's a lot more to this story, huh?

[Brian Green]

Very interesting. That's when you put yourself up for crucifixion. That's an interesting way to tell. And what is the most brutal review that you can remember reading? Like, which is the one that sticks with you when you go over the. I mean, how many episodes are you in to the show?

[Zandy]

361.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, that's a lot of episodes. That's a lot of episodes. Do you have one that just sticks with you? Like, holy shit.

[Zandy]

Okay, we have some themes that we've had to ax because we were like, oh, this is too dark. Because, you know, you think, of course, like the entitled reviewer, right. Are like the funny ones or the. That space where you can joke around. And then there are like the extremely racist or like the things where you're like, cool, cool. Not necessarily funny, or my place to, like, say these things aloud because people. I mean, Yelp allows a lot of words, which I'm always shocked they allow. Alexander, what are some of. We've listened to.

[Christine]

You can put slurs on Yelp and they'll still be there 10 years later. It's shocking.

[Zandy]

You can say, like, the F word, but you can, like, say a homophobic slur, and they'll, like, keep it in. So a lot of that we're like, maybe not. And the toughest one for me personally was looking up veterinarians. And I'm like, this will be funny. And it was like, episode 10. And we found out very quickly, like, oh, it's just a lot of people losing their pets and getting sick and died. I feel like there's literally nothing funny about any of them.

[Christine]

The most brutal ones are always the truest ones. It's. It feels like where. It's like they're being honest. And I will say, though, one of the most brutal, because usually not a lot. Most of the time, we're on the side of the reviewer or person receiving the review. Sorry. Sure. So. So the brutal ones are the ones where we're like, oh, there's no coming back from this one. This was very clearly the person was at fault. And I always think of that Kansas City cab company that she brought these reviews of this cab company. She's read this every time we went to Kansas City. Both times, it's this cab driver who's drinking on the job who's, like, stalking the passenger, who's like, literally, like, everything you can do wrong as a taxi driver car.

[Zandy]

Like, yeah, it's harassing.

[Christine]

This person just keeps coming back and is like, oh, I tried them again. Oh, they got me again.

[Zandy]

You can see how many months have passed since the last review. And she'll wait, like, four months. She'll go, never again. Yellow cab. And then four months later, she's like, well, here I am again. What are you doing? Get an Uber. This was not that long ago. Yeah, so. So definitely there are times where you're like, I can't look at this anymore.

[Christine]

It's.

[Zandy]

It's depressing. But all right. Yeah.

[Brian Green]

So follow up to this, do you? Because this brings up an interesting question that I was thinking about earlier. Also, do you have to screen those reviews for trolls? Because we know that people just love to. I mean, there are some people that are really funny out there on the comments. Right. I came here for the comment section. It's all It's a whole version of comedy. There's like stand up comedy, improv comedy, I don't know, clown school, mimes. And in the comment section, some people are really fucking funny. They're really good at that. Yeah, it's like a gift.

[Zandy]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

And I feel like a lot of people have that gift because that's one of my. I'm sure, just like you. It's one of my favorite things to do sometimes go to the comments.

[Zandy]

Yes.

[Brian Green]

But the reviews have become the place case. I've noticed also in our own, like next door, you know, segment that I have to kind of understand that some of these might be people trolling, but it's fun anyway to read them. Do you have like a, I don't know, some kind of, you know, radar out there for trolls?

[Zandy]

We do 100, 100 and it's actually really annoying. And it stinks because sometimes you'll be like really invested. Then you realize like, oh, this person is just full, like trying to make a gym. There are a lot of fake ones. Or Alexander's been discovering a lot of AI.

[Christine]

So many AI reviews where I'm reading and I'm like, oh, this. Oh, this person's about to set up a whole scene and I'm like, oh, never mind. It's this. They plugged it into chat GPT or something and got some really long, long, wordy review. That really doesn't help anyone who's reading.

[Zandy]

Reviews anything of any of the other. It's very. It's like people need a hobby, you.

[Christine]

Know, like for the trolls, sometimes they are funny. Like I will you. We, we do use them sometimes, but it's more like, hey, if I find it funny, I'm going to read it. If. Or if I think it's going to bother her. That's the other one.

[Zandy]

Yeah.

[Christine]

Is like, if I think that she's going to hate that I read it, I'm going to read it. That's the other. So we at least have like, I create reasons to read the troll reviews.

[Zandy]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Brian Green]

You guys have a little gamesmanship going on here, huh?

[Christine]

Yeah, like, can we try?

[Zandy]

Yeah, I think we're both losing, but yeah, probably.

[Brian Green]

I would say you're both winning. You're doing a podcast for a living, right? I'd say you're doing okay.

[Zandy]

Take it. I'll take it.

[Brian Green]

You're doing okay. When anyone says, you know something about their day at work, I have to remind myself as much as I want to and complain about the whatever the wire that didn't plug in. Or the, you know, the guest you.

[Zandy]

Had today unplug her microphone.

[Brian Green]

That plugged it into number four. I have to go. Well, you know, I do. I do podcasts.

[Zandy]

Like I'm at home right now. Like, I should not complain.

[Brian Green]

Do you guys record from separate places usually? Or is this just. Are you. Have you done this? Okay.

[Zandy]

Together. When we started the podcast now. And then he moved far away from me.

[Christine]

Okay. No, she moved first. She abandoned me. She abandoned me during COVID time in la. So I was alone in la. That part's true as she and her and my brother in law moved to northern Kentucky. So.

[Brian Green]

Northern Kentucky.

[Christine]

Thank you. Let's see if that's the reaction I wanted.

[Brian Green]

What are you doing in Northern Kentucky?

[Zandy]

I'm podcasting. Thank you very much.

[Brian Green]

Are you like in Paducah? Where are you?

[Zandy]

No, no, I love. Okay.

[Christine]

No, I love Paduka.

[Rachel]

I almost.

[Zandy]

You know, it's funny, I pulled out some T shirts today and one of them was my Paducah Winery. No, I. We're from the Cincinnati area, my Zaner and I, so I moved back to Cincinnati, but I'm right over the river. It's like Newport, Kentucky, right on the.

[Christine]

Like a 10 minute drive from where we grew up. So it does make a little sense. I will give her that.

[Zandy]

More shocking when you say Kentucky. So.

[Christine]

But I live in New York, which is a little more exciting.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, yeah, but I would. Listen, I get the. I get the mid. I grew up in Chicago, right. So I get that kind of Midwest vibe. And. But you know, there's that weird space that Cincinnati, Kentucky, Southern Indiana, like there's this weird vacuum of. It's beautiful, but it's very flat. And I wonder sometimes if it's dangerous. It doesn't look dangerous, but it feels dangerous. You know what I'm saying? When I'm driving through there sometimes, so I get skeptical. Sometimes people say, I moved to Kentucky. I moved to Kentucky.

[Zandy]

You actually chose to be there. I know. And it's kind of weird. And after leaving so many years ago, it was like, what am I doing? But then, I don't know, maybe it was the. Listen, some guardian angel was like, get out of la. And my husband worked in the er. And I was like, what?

[Christine]

Okay.

[Zandy]

And then we, like, literally, we bought a house February 2020. And then a month later we were like, oh, my God, what's going on? And so I did abandon Zandy.

[Christine]

And then less than a year later, I came running and I moved to Cincinnati for a few years.

[Zandy]

So listen, I'm just trying to.

[Christine]

You didn't try. You didn't try anything. Okay.

[Zandy]

That's what happened with the skydiving, too, I bet. I don't remember.

[Christine]

You inspired me to skydive. You inspired me to move to Cincinnati, Ohio.

[Brian Green]

Wow. What inspired you to move to New York? Just had to get out of Cincinnati.

[Christine]

My ex. It was a. It was. It. My ex and I were long distance. She was living here in New York. And it got to a point where I thought, you know what? I'd love to try New York. I've lived in la, I've lived a little bit in dc. I would love a new city to try. I like living in a city.

[Zandy]

And I suggested Paducah, but he was not taking it.

[Christine]

Yeah. And believe it or not, my ex was like, I'm not moving to Cincinnati. And I told her, I don't want you to move to Cincinnati. I would not. I do not want to be responsible for that. So I'm very glad I did move to New York. It's been lovely. I've been here two years. I am planning on moving again probably soon, but just because I want a change of pace, I see. I'm fortunate to be able to do this wherever I am. So I'm going to try a new city probably pretty soon.

[Brian Green]

I agree with you. Sometimes I think about moving to Spain, especially the last six months. I'm like, oh, Spain, sounds good.

[Zandy]

Sounds lovely.

[Brian Green]

Wow.

[Christine]

That has not been on my radar.

[Brian Green]

My wife is Venezuelan and she's also a Spanish citizen. So she's an American citizen and a Spanish.

[Zandy]

Oh, hell yeah.

[Brian Green]

And so are my children. And so I'm like the odd man out. They could probably get out real quick if they needed to. And I just have to kind of tag along and beg for mercy. But sometimes I go, we could do this from Spain. But, you know, then I look at Spain and like any place you'd like, the major cities where you'd want to live, live. It's not like they're substantially cheaper than what you would do here.

[Sponsor Voice]

A little bit.

[Brian Green]

Little bit like the food and stuff like that, you know, public travel. But besides that, healthcare. Healthcare just comes with the package.

[Zandy]

That's what it is, part of the deal.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. Imagine that. It's crazy working over there. Yeah. And if you want to pay for extra health care, you feel free to pay for extra health care. Cool. You want to see a doctor a little quicker, a little sooner, or you want to go to a specialist that. That's not in the program? Then guess what? They have those, too. But that's a whole conversation. You know, the. The. I'll say this. The times when we get the most flack on this show on the reviews, and we do our best to stay away from politics on the show, but sometimes politics becomes like it creeps in to it's life. Yeah, it's life. Right. It's like, yeah, kids.

[Zandy]

I mean, we are trying to survive.

[Christine]

A privilege to not be affected by politics. And I think most people nowadays are, and especially those who have less privilege than others. So.

[Brian Green]

That's Right. And so we find ourselves biting our tongues and not. And. And sometimes not being able to bite our tongues. Like, gotta mention something. Do you find in the comment sections. It's hard. Of the review sections that I find almost everything is touched by politics now. So divisive in this country that everyone wants to throw in, oh, well, you're a Republican. Oh, you're a liberal. You know, whatever is. Do you find it's difficult sometimes to navigate the comment section with or without politics?

[Christine]

Incredibly, I think.

[Zandy]

Yeah, you do.

[Christine]

I mean, especially when we're on tour and we have to read from different specific cities and it goes both ways. But, like, when we're on tour in cities that are generally, like, more conservative, you'll read a lot of reviews of certain, like, places like certain museums and different libraries or whatever, and they're talking about pride flags and. And drag shows, like, these things that aren't actual issues, but they're saying the most hateful things.

[Zandy]

Oh, reading through them. That's where.

[Christine]

Oh, is that.

[Zandy]

What.

[Brian Green]

Is that what you mean?

[Zandy]

On our podcast? Like, on the podcast itself?

[Brian Green]

No, no, no, not on the podcast itself. Yeah, like in the review section.

[Zandy]

Oh, it's everywhere. Oh, yeah, everywhere. Both sides. I mean, both sides.

[Sponsor Voice]

All over.

[Zandy]

It's like, it's hard to find things.

[Christine]

That are not definitely more hateful from one side generally. I will say that. But no, it's. And with. What was I going to say with politics.

[Zandy]

Sorry, I interrupted you.

[Christine]

No, you're fine. Something just completely left my brain.

[Brian Green]

It'll be Zandy Glitched. He glitched live on the show.

[Zandy]

That was my fault.

[Christine]

First time.

[Brian Green]

All right, I'm going to. When you think I remember, go.

[Christine]

We had an episode recently where. So Cracker Barrel changed their logo.

[Zandy]

Oh, yeah.

[Brian Green]

And dumbest.

[Christine]

We thought it was the funniest thing ever. And Cracker Barrel was kind of a running joke because we had spent a lot of time growing up. Like, our dad would bring us Cracker Barrel on road trips all the time. And we talked about the peg game.

[Zandy]

We're German, by the way. Like our parents are. We're first generation American. Our whole family's German. So, like when we go to Cracker Barrel, it's like our very German dad with a very thick accent. So our experience at Cracker Barrel, I feel like was not necessarily like the average middle America experience. Affinity for Cracker Barrel. So, yeah, we leaned into.

[Christine]

So when this happened and very Quaker.

[Brian Green]

Yeah.

[Christine]

When all this happened, we like were reading reviews and we read reviews of it and then the next day is when they reversed it. So then we actually did a follow up episode a week after. And I will say we did get comments from listeners saying like they want fewer politics or a couple people. It wasn't anything that bad. And I thought it was interesting because I thought we do tend to avoid so much. Like sometimes I fear that we don't say enough on the show with everything that's going on. So for that it felt like a little way to be like, get a little bit out there of like this. Look at this ridiculous situation. Even this is touched by this divisiveness.

[Sponsor Voice]

Yeah, we're doing crap.

[Christine]

Even this is.

[Zandy]

Why are you being so political? It's like it's a crack around.

[Christine]

It's not our fault people are making it political.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, they made it political. I'm just commenting on it. Right. Yeah. Well, the one thing that I will say is that, you know, recently we've started to open our. We've started to open our. Kind of open the guardrails a little bit on some of the things that we talk about. And like you said, it's hard sometimes not to see what's going on in the television, read about it or whatever, and then not go, I can't comment if I have a show that's brought, you know, that's running four days a week. I can't not say something about this. But there's one lady who, when we, you know, I said something a couple months ago and then she wrote this comment on Spotify, you know, stop being political. You know, stay in your lane. You're not funny when you're political. Whatever. And then over the course of a couple months, it started a dialogue on our, like our hotline, our text message hotline that started a dialogue. But that dialogue went completely the way I did not expect it to go. And we both ended up agreeing with each other on a lot more stuff than we ever disagreed to the point where I was like, maybe I should have Spoken up a long time ago. Because if this one person, I don't know if I've changed her mind about anything, but I think that she's agreeing that some of the stuff that we're seeing is just like insane, right? And that that's not what she would have voted for. So I go, oh, well, at least, if at least one person out there we can have a conversation. It is reasonable enough. But I'm under no delusion that everybody's like that. All right, I want to read a few Nextdoor posts to you that I've been collecting and we'll all comment on them together.

[Zandy]

We rarely touch on next door and I feel like that is like prime content. So good. Good on you. That's a great bit.

[Brian Green]

Everyone is worried about TikTok and the teenagers with TikTok. Everyone is Snapchatting, you know, they're worried about 16 year olds, Snapchat, Snapchatting, their ding dongs and willy hoo hoos. And Facebook has become a cesspool for, you know, the greatest generation that never was, you know, continue to suck up more billions from the poor people. Next door is the most dangerous application available today.

[Christine]

Whoa.

[Brian Green]

Because the average age, at least where I live, of users is got to be over 70 years old. And they have all lost their ever loving minds. Now I understand after 70 you might just kind of lose it anyway. You're starting to slide backwards a little bit. These people are insane. Some of the posts that I have read in my area on this show defy any logic whatsoever. It's like insane. Now, now, be warned, I don't know, there could be trolls out there. I'm sure they are. So I don't claim that every single one of these is like a serious post, but I think a good chunk of them are because when I look at them, I can see, yeah, profile picture of the person, you know, a dog eyeball. You know what I'm saying? Like a picture taken by grandma on a Tuesday.

[Zandy]

A picture of Elvis that they took of their computer screen. Yes.

[Brian Green]

Or a picture of their shoes.

[Christine]

Oh, that's a good one.

[Brian Green]

Okay, ready?

[Zandy]

Ready.

[Brian Green]

Rhonda says, has anyone else seen the googly eyeballs on the mailbox at dot dot dot? Should I call the police or just go to. Or just go to city hall to have them remove it? It is scaring my dog. Halloween lady.

[Christine]

I love that those two options. Those are really my only two things I do when I have something I'm not too happy about. Police. City hall.

[Brian Green]

That's it. City hall One of the others.

[Zandy]

I mean, imagine the poor city hall employees are like, please don't come back for that.

[Brian Green]

I know.

[Zandy]

We've seen enough of you this week, Rhonda.

[Brian Green]

I've been to some city hall meetings for like zoning stuff and there's one lady. One lady. Yeah. I don't know if her name is. It might be, but she comments on every single. She's just one of those people who has to be involved.

[Zandy]

Has an opinion.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, she has an opinion and she'll let them know. And then they grace, you know, they. They graciously give her her three and a half minutes or whatever it is and then they move, they say thank you and then they move on.

[Zandy]

Thank you as usual. Thank you.

[Brian Green]

Here's an enterprising young man who said found 19 inch MacBook Pro inside of strangers unlocked car. Does anyone recognize. I swear to God.

[Zandy]

Should I call the police or go to.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, should I call the police or go to.

[Zandy]

What is going on?

[Sponsor Voice]

This is.

[Brian Green]

U see, it's crazy. Like, this is one of those where I think maybe it's a troll, but I don't know, it's hard.

[Zandy]

I don't really behave this way. People are unhinged.

[Brian Green]

They are. You stole it out of someone's online.

[Zandy]

And they're like, no, well, I didn't want someone to steal. It's like you just did. What are you talking about?

[Christine]

You literally just did that.

[Brian Green]

So there is a picture of the back of someone's head. Just giving you some context there. A picture of back of someone's head. I want to say a big thank you and a big fu. To my neighbor. And I'm not even going to say his first name because if people know. But who sicked the raccoon on my garbage? Look at the mess he's made. I'll get you. Oh my God.

[Zandy]

First of all, when the older generation also when they start threatening people, it gets. It's. I start to get alarmed.

[Brian Green]

I'm like, yeah, yeah.

[Zandy]

It sounds way more threatening coming.

[Christine]

They've got less to lose at that age. They'll do some crazy shit. But who you got Snow White over there, like controlling these raccoons?

[Brian Green]

Yeah, like that's what that was my question.

[Christine]

I don't know who does that but.

[Brian Green]

Pet raccoon, how did you exactly get it to attack?

[Zandy]

I knew a man who had a pet raccoon named Jack the Rack and he.

[Christine]

That is true.

[Zandy]

How? Like he had no control over this raccoon. He was like, I have the raccoon at my House. Because now I've made my decision and it's too late. But he's like, don't ever do this. They. They love shiny things and they love water. So they'll go and turn on every faucet in the entire apartment. They'll go and, like, collect anything shiny. Break, like, electrical things, like, to take the shiny parts. He was like, they're a nightmare. And so I can't imagine anybody has that much control that they can, like, sic a raccoon. I mean, maybe. Maybe some sort of.

[Brian Green]

I don't understand.

[Christine]

Yeah, I couldn't, like, sic a dog on someone successfully, like, all the dogs I know. I'm like, why?

[Zandy]

She's about to attack you. You might as well.

[Brian Green]

Right on the raccoon. I've seen those. One the people on online who have the pet raccoons, and they're, like, in the walls, like, burrowing everywhere. It seems to me like this is like. Once you realize that you've made this mistake, like a day in. Go ahead and release it back to the wild. Right?

[Zandy]

Yeah. I think they find their way back. I mean, I think these things are very smart. Enterprising. I can't say that now is such a good word. But I don't know. They find their way.

[Brian Green]

I saw a lady cat, some.

[Zandy]

What do you call that? Zany cat? The cat door to go outside. They would, like, climb in at night.

[Brian Green]

That's insane to even have that. I've seen these people online who have the pet possums, too.

[Christine]

I love possums.

[Brian Green]

I have a fear of them. I don't know what they are.

[Zandy]

Fear. And I like that.

[Christine]

I. I have so many possum stuff. I'm like, where's my. Okay, I can't scare you right now. Nothing's in reach.

[Brian Green]

We did a whole thing for about a month on possums and how much Brian dislikes possums, but anyway.

[Zandy]

Oh, wow. So this is like lore, like canon already. Okay. Got it.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. All right. So one guy says, lost chicken, right? Puts a picture of the chicken was in my backyard and managed to escape. Can't find. Is our family pet. If you see it, can you please return it? And then someone else puts a picture of his chicken nugget.

[Zandy]

No. I knew it. I was like a roast chicken.

[Brian Green]

Found chicken. Found chicken tastes great with barbecue sauce.

[Christine]

So terrible.

[Zandy]

These people are just waiting at their email, at their Hotmail inbox for one of these post events that they can just sit there and troll. Oh, my God.

[Brian Green]

Yes.

[Christine]

This sounds like our stepdad. Our Stepdad would do, like if he had next door. Thankfully he doesn't. He would be doing that.

[Brian Green]

He would be this guy post like making funny comments back at people or posting this crazy.

[Christine]

Honestly, he would be making funny comments and then being really specifically helpful with people's lawnmowers.

[Zandy]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

Oh, and he's one of those guys.

[Christine]

He's one of those guys.

[Zandy]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. I feel like one of my parents is on this app and making these ridiculous things. But I don't want to call. I don't want to call them out by name, but I know that my parents. Some of my parents. I have a couple parents. Some of them. My parents are like, yeah, it's a little bit of a weird family history, but that's okay. I want the people in my neighborhood names, neighborhood to please stop posting the welcome neighbor sign at the front. It is bringing in trash from other municipalities.

[Christine]

Wait, so you put the welcome side. Turn around so they think they're entering when they exit.

[Brian Green]

No, no, he's putting it there. Someone's putting welcome new neighbors. So, like, if someone moves into the neighborhood, they put a welcome new neighborhood neighbor. And he said it's bringing in trash from other municipalities or other suburbs. When are we going to learn that immigrants are not welcome? And it's like immigrant immigrants.

[Christine]

Immigrants into your neighborhood.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. You're talking about someone moving from neighborhood.

[Zandy]

Migrated from the west side. Yeah. What the fuck?

[Brian Green]

Everything gets political. Everything. Everything. You can't welcome your new neighbor because that is bringing in trash.

[Zandy]

Well, if your neighbor's trash, then what are you supposed to do, Brian?

[Christine]

That's stick a raccoon on them.

[Brian Green]

That's true. Lost chicken. I think the raccoon and the chicken might have something.

[Zandy]

There has to be a correlation or connection there. Yeah.

[Brian Green]

Parking complaint. This white car keeps parking in front of my house. I don't think this is legal. That's what they say. Then the neck. The first comment is, this is me, Terry. I'm your neighbor. I've been parking here for six months because I live next door. And then the original commenter, the original poster says, I don't believe you.

[Zandy]

What? What?

[Brian Green]

And then the. And then the guy, I guess you know, the original poster's name is Terry, says, just walk next door and talk to me about it.

[Zandy]

Oh, my God, I'm standing outside.

[Brian Green]

To which Terry replies, prove it.

[Christine]

Terry.

[Zandy]

I mean, really, Terry.

[Brian Green]

This is insane. People are insane. Need a good. Oh, need a good electrician. Where do I find one? Found this phone number on the back of someone's Truck. Are they reliable? Are you just hoping this backup found.

[Zandy]

This MacBook inside someone's truck? And a phone number for an electrician.

[Brian Green]

Well, you know how the electricians drive down the street and you see the phone number?

[Zandy]

Right.

[Brian Green]

But she just. He or she just posts the phone number in hopes that someone's going to recognize it and go, yep, they're reliable.

[Christine]

Honestly, our stepdad would be like, yeah, that's tv Bob. That guy, we know him.

[Zandy]

He's great.

[Christine]

See, he knows the electricians around town. Like, these people just need to text our stepdad. Yeah, honestly, like, he's got answers.

[Brian Green]

If your dog poops on my lawn one more time, I, as the president of this hoa, going to make sure that dogs are banned from the neighborhood. You've been warned. You've been warned. I don't know what hoa. I mean, he says the hoa, but, you know, it's probably like three houses in an hoa. But why take that next door as if all the people in the HOA are doing?

[Zandy]

That's an immediate red flag. It's like when people say, like, oh, I am contacting my lawyer and I'm like, you're on Yelp. You're not here. You're on Yelp. Like, you're not. Like, prove it.

[Christine]

Your lawyer would not want you posting on Yelp right now.

[Zandy]

Exactly. I'm like, yeah, it's.

[Brian Green]

And again, we have to take all of this with a grain of salt, right? I think some people are just having fun on here. But I do believe that knowing this neighborhood that I live in, I do believe that some of this is real because.

[Christine]

Yeah, I know.

[Brian Green]

I bet.

[Christine]

And like, I. Next door people always give me the, like, like, wannabe HOA vibes, which is so bizarre because hoa, like, the stuff you read just from hoas is sometimes so ridiculous. And then the next door people who want. Who are like, acting like that without even, even, like, there being an hoa, just move somewhere where the laws are, like, way too strict, where you can't, like, have a little flag on your door.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, well, that's what they get sometimes. They paint themselves into a corner. I remember my father was. He had lived in a neighborhood with like 10 houses, like 10, 11 houses, something like that. And they asked him, do you want to be the president of the hoa? And he said, sure. And, you know, three people voted or whatever. And with in a day like the first HOA meeting, he's like that, I'm cut and run. He says, I don't have Anything to.

[Zandy]

Do, there's a reason nobody else had volunteered.

[Sponsor Voice]

Right.

[Zandy]

I'm always like, why does nobody else want to do this? Because then I certainly don't either.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, because it's, it's, it's, it's. It's all grief. No one, you know, no one pats you on the back. You have to make decisions that are tough, and then you got to spend people's money or tell them to give you more money that you don't want. You just make rules.

[Zandy]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. HOAs are ridiculous. I one time had a condo down in Florida, and there's a one reason why I don't have that condo down in Florida anymore. It's hoa. That's it. Three letters. Hoa. Yeah. They're always asking you for more money. There's like, oh, $47,000.

[Zandy]

It feels made up. It's like, what. What it is.

[Brian Green]

And it feels like they always pick the priciest thing. We got to do it the right way. Do you have to do it the right way or can you do it the most inexpensive way? Because, you know, it's a. It's a brand new grill for outside. Do we really need to buy a $47,000 grill? So you can find Xandy and Christine's podcast. There are links in the show notes. That's beach too sandy, Water too wet. Which is. Which I love. Took me a minute to get it. When I first heard the name of your podcast. Took me a minute to get it. But then when I listened to the show, I go, oh, I get it then.

[Zandy]

It's just some people. Yeah. I feel like maybe we could have come up with an easier name, but, you know, it was actually originally going to be like even more words and say like, oh, yeah, too cold.

[Christine]

And we were like, somehow this was the best option.

[Zandy]

We came up with this was the best option.

[Brian Green]

Well, I feel like beach to Sandy is a good. Like, know it's a good. I don't know. You can paraphrase it by saying beach to Sandy. That's a good one.

[Christine]

When it's real. Real reviews. Those were real things we saw. Like, we. We picked those comments specifically from reviews of a beach and. Or two different beaches where someone was complaining the water was too wet and someone was complaining the beach was too sandy.

[Brian Green]

Unbelievable. And my posts are crazy.

[Zandy]

No, listen, they are actually.

[Christine]

Those next door people are probably also on Yelp.

[Zandy]

That's true. There's probably a lot of crossover. Yeah.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. I feel like when you're willing to go in on One you're probably willing to go in on. Others you can find their podcast on the links below. Wherever you're listening to the commercial break, they're available also. And I'll put their Instagram links and all the pertinent details. And then Christine is also a part of a number of other podcasts, so I'll throw those in for good measure. I have had a great, great deal of fun, and I look forward to being on your podcast soon.

[Christine]

Yeah, we can't wait. This was so much fun.

[Zandy]

What a delight. And say hi to Chrissy. And I'm sorry I've missed her, but.

[Brian Green]

We'Ll get together again and. Yeah, next time.

[Christine]

Next time it'll be us and her. You can be there.

[Brian Green]

I'm out.

[Christine]

And then we'll do all four. It'll just be. We'll do a little bit of everything.

[Brian Green]

We'll just mix and match. Yeah, we're a throuple in a. In multiple different combinations. Yes, we'll go right along with my current favorite TV show, which is seeking sister wife. So there you go. Oh, good show.

[Christine]

I haven't started that one.

[Brian Green]

Okay, great show. Oh, you're six seasons behind, so get.

[Zandy]

Started, boy, you better hurry.

[Brian Green]

Thanks, guys. I appreciate it.

[Christine]

Thanks.

[Rachel]

Rachel here. While Brian takes his old man bladder to the little boys room. Let's talk turkey. TCB needs your help. If you love the show, do us all a favor and share, share. Sharing is caring. And we know you care, don't you? Well, don't you? Oh, that was some childhood trauma rearing its ugly head. Do you want to be on the show? Leave us a voicemail at 212-433-3822 and you could be the next TCB. Disembodied voice. Ooh, what'd you do today? I was a disembodied voice. You know, that sounds more dangerous than it actually is. Find us on Insta at. At the commercial break on the [e-mail] and all the episodes on video are available the same [e-mail] TheCommercialBreak I'm gonna go help Brian get back up the stairs while you listen to the sponsors. And then we'll all meet back here and get back to this episode of the commercial break. I'll take a raise now, bitches. Bye.

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[Brian Green]

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[Zandy]

So that means a half day. Yeah.

[Christine]

Give it a [e-mail] Switch upfront payment.

[Zandy]

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[Rachel]

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[Zandy]

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[Brian Green]

Now wasn't that fun? I mean the meeting of two great comedy minds, Christine and Sandy. Christine and Sandy. But they do that every week. And then here I am, you know, walking into the party and taking a hot one on the floor. But, you know, hey, listen, I can only do what I can do, and that's what I can do. But if you enjoyed it, go follow them beach to sandy.com. as I repeatedly told you in the first 15 minutes of the episode, like I said, when. When I. When I mentioned to Chrissy, when we were talking about this right after I recorded it, we got 12, 15 text messages about people were like, oh, my God, I love that podcast. I'm so excited you. You were on it. So we know that there is what they call a cross stream of listenership going on there. I don't know if that's what they call it. I just made that up. Why did you just make that up, Brian? I just made. Made it up. This is why I was good in a boardroom. Because I would say like that all the time, and people would be like, oh, he knows what. Look at him. He knows what he's talking about. That's Brian Green. He gave us the Brian look. I did. I did indeed give you the Brian look. Okay, all the links in the show notes, thank you to Christine and Zandy. I hope we get to do this collab again, and I hope we get to do it with Chrissy. We all agreed it would be better with Chrissy. So next time, Chrissy's in the room with us. Thank you very much to those two. After the break, my side project, my other podcast, which I put out one episode and then went dark for four weeks. I am now doing this as a come as it goes, take it or leave it whenever I decide to turn on the mic microphone kind of podcast. I will also broadcast those live. I will stream them live, and then I will put them on the RSS feed as soon as I'm done. No muss, no fuss. This is not going to be the highly produced investigative 60 Minutes of podcasting that I had intended because quite frankly, I just want to loosen it up a little bit. So follow after the break. Also check Chrissy and us out. Chrissy and I out streaming every time we record an episode. Follow us at the commercial break on Instagram. Follow me, Brian W. Green on Instagram and 212-433-3822. Questions, comments, concerns, content, ideas on any of the podcasts aforementioned. That's all I can do. I love you. Best to you. Until next time, I will say, I do say, and I must say goodbye.

[Rachel]

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[Zandy]

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[Brian Green]

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[Zandy]

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[Zandy]

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[Brian Green]

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[Zandy]

Uh, Limu is that guy with the binoculars watching us?

[Brian Green]

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