The Commercial Break

Episode: Beach Too Sandy, Bryan Too Breaky

Date: December 3, 2025
Guests: Christine & Zandy of "Beach Too Sandy, Water Too Wet"
Host: Bryan Green (with Chrissy Hoadley absent this episode)

Overview

This high-energy, banter-driven episode features Bryan Green collaborating with sibling duo Christine and Zandy, creators of the cult-favorite comedy podcast “Beach Too Sandy, Water Too Wet.” The episode meanders through podcasting origin stories, the dark comedy of online reviews, sibling rivalry, bizarre community platform antics, and managing public critique—all wrapped in sharp wit and the show's trademark irreverence. Listeners are treated to an off-the-rails chat about internet oddities and human nature, plus live reactions to absurd Nextdoor posts.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Guest/Premise Introduction (14:00–16:00)

• Christine and Zandy’s Background: Siblings, sharing “similar trauma bonding and a similar sense of humor,” started their podcast together in late 2018, making them early adopters pre-dating the Covid podcast boom.

  "We've been working together since 1991 and 1993...a contentious time as youths, but as adults we figured ‘let's do this weird thing together.'" – Zandy (14:07)

• Show Format of Beach Too Sandy: Each week, they pick a theme, read one-star reviews found online, and roast both the reviewers and, sometimes, the businesses.

  "We read negative reviews from the Internet, basically...us making fun of these reviewers or sometimes defending these poor employees." – Christine (15:04)

2. Sibling Dynamics & Skydiving Rivalries (16:00–21:30)

• Sibling Bickering: Their authentic bickering is a fan favorite—mirrored by Bryan's own sibling-heavy upbringing.
• Skydiving Anecdotes: A lighthearted but revealing exchange about both families’ failed attempts to include each other in terrifying adventures:

  "I felt a disturbance in the force...No one had texted me for a couple of days...they were all going skydiving and didn't tell me." – Bryan (16:47)
  "We went skydiving because our mother guilted us into it for her birthday...I was upset they didn’t invite me, then they surprised me with a ticket." – Christine (17:48)

3. The Dark Art of Online Reviews (22:00–34:00)

• Empathy for Service Workers: Reading bad reviews has made the Beach Too Sandy hosts more empathetic to those in customer service roles.

  "It’s definitely emboldened us...when we started, people emailed like ‘Thank you for making me laugh about reviews I’ve gotten at work.'" – Zandy (23:11)

• Handling Criticism and Trolls:

  "I used to take criticism very harshly...but then I learned people in bad jobs sometimes read their own reviews and laugh about it." – Christine (23:54)
  "Why do we care what people say about our stupid podcast if there are people getting bullied by old women just for working?" – Zandy (24:28)

• The Worst Reviews & Going Too Far: Sometimes the material is unexpectedly heavy or offensive.

  "The toughest one for me was veterinarians. I thought it’d be funny, but it was all people losing pets...nothing funny." – Zandy (30:18) "Yelp allows a lot of words I'm shocked they allow. You can put slurs and they're still there 10 years later." – Christine (30:14)

• Trolling & AI-Generated Reviews:

  "We’re seeing so many AI reviews now—someone just plugged something into ChatGPT and it makes this long, pointless review." – Christine (33:11)

4. Comments, Politics, and the Cultural Zeitgeist (38:00–43:00)

• Politics in Everything: Even restaurant reviews and app posts become battlegrounds as political divides seep in.

  "Reviews about libraries devolve into debates about pride flags and drag shows...It’s a privilege to not be affected by politics, but it’s everywhere." – Christine & Zandy (39:48)

• Navigating Listener Feedback & Free Speech: Bryan recounts building constructive dialog even with critical listeners.

  "I said something political, a listener said 'stay in your lane' but over months we ended up agreeing more than not. Maybe I should speak up more..." – Bryan (43:37)

5. Nextdoor Reading Session (44:00–54:00)

A riotous segment--Bryan shares real (and probably some troll) Nextdoor community posts for group commentary, with the trio riffing on the surreal world of neighborhood drama:

• Sample Posts:

  • "Has anyone else seen the googly eyeballs on the mailbox...? Should I call the police or go to city hall?" – Rhonda, as read by Bryan (45:23)
  • "Found 19 inch MacBook Pro inside of stranger’s unlocked car – does anyone recognize?" (46:26)
  • "I want to say a big thank you and a big f-u to my neighbor who sicked the raccoon on my garbage..." (47:12)
  • Lost chicken/Found chicken: "Found chicken – tastes great with barbecue sauce." (50:00)

• Host and Guest Reactions:

  "These people are unhinged...you stole it and post about it?" – Bryan (47:01)
  "Who you got, Snow White over there, controlling raccoons?" – Christine (47:44)
  "These people are just waiting at their Hotmail inbox, ready to troll..." – Zandy (50:12)

• HOA Humor & Neighborhood Pet Peeves:

  • "If your dog poops on my lawn one more time, as HOA president I’ll get all dogs banned from the neighborhood. You’ve been warned." (53:47)
  • "HOA is all grief, no one pats you on the back. You make decisions, spend money, get yelled at." – Bryan (55:30)

6. Podcasting Logistics & Bicoastal Banter (34:35–38:00)

• Where They Live & Work: Both siblings now remote, with Zandy in Northern Kentucky (eclectic commentary on midwestern vibes) and Christine having recently moved to New York.
• Being Digital Nomads: Christine mentions considering another move, appreciating podcasting’s flexibility.

7. Show Cross-Promotion and Community Overlap (56:30–58:20)

• Name Origins:

  "We found real reviews of people complaining the beach was 'too sandy' and water 'too wet.' We picked those for the show name." – Christine (56:52)

• Call to Listeners:

  "We know there’s cross-stream listenership...go follow BeachTooSandy.com, and we’ll keep having each other on." – Bryan (62:10)

Notable Quotes/Memorable Moments (with Timestamps)

• On Online Reviewers:

  • "Yelp allows a lot of words I'm shocked they allow. Slurs can stay 10 years later." – Christine (30:14)

• On Sibling Betrayal:

  • "I felt a disturbance in the force...my brothers didn't tell me they were skydiving because they knew I wouldn’t do it." – Bryan (16:47)

• On Nextdoor Posts:

  • "Who you got, Snow White over there, controlling raccoons?” – Christine (47:44)
  • "Lost chicken! ...Next post: Found chicken—tastes great with barbecue sauce." – Bryan (50:00)

• On Podcast Criticism:

  • "Why do we care what people say about our stupid podcast if people are getting bullied by old women just for working?” – Zandy (24:28)

• On Podcasting for a Living:

  • "I would say you're both winning. You're doing a podcast for a living. You're doing OK." – Bryan (34:07)

Timestamps for Important Segments

• Intro to Beach Too Sandy & Podcast Background: 14:00–15:45
• Sibling Rivalry & Skydiving Stories: 16:00–21:30
• Empathy and Impact of Bad Reviews: 22:00–26:30
• The Politics of Online Reviews: 38:00–43:00
• Reading and Reacting to Nextdoor Madness: 44:00–54:00
• Podcast Mobility & Life Decisions: 34:35–38:00
• Name Origins and Cross-Promotion Wrap Up: 56:30–58:20

Final Thoughts

The episode is a raucous, layered exploration of the comedy and pathos within online reviews, neighborhood shenanigans, and the unique alchemy of long friendships & sibling partnerships in podcasting. It’s both cathartic and silly—full of quotable lines and meta-humor about the absurdities of internet culture, with a touch of endearing self-deprecation.

Find more from Bryan, Christine, and Zandy:

• BeachTooSandy.com
• TCB Podcast
• Follow on Instagram: @thecommercialbreak | @brianwgreen

Recommended If: You love improv-style comedy, sibling banter, and finding the ridiculous in the everyday digital world.
Skip if: You can’t handle irreverence, or tales about raccoons on the loose.

Want to be on the show? Leave a voicemail: 212-433-3822.