Best Of: Spooky Behavior

Summary

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The Commercial Break – "Best Of: Spooky Behavior"

Date: October 18, 2024
Theme: A comedic deep-dive into the outlandish world of “Mountain Monsters” and cryptid chasers during spooky season, with hosts Bryan Green and Krissy Hoadley riffing off the bizarre antics of Appalachian monster hunters chasing the Mothman and Sheep Squatch.

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Overview

This “Best Of” episode centers on the hosts watching and lampooning footage from the TV show Mountain Monsters. The podcast leans into the absurd: the monster-hunting team’s lack of scientific rigor, the overblown Appalachian characters, and the accidental slapstick that arises from bumbling, Bigfoot-obsessed men chasing elusive creatures. As always, the hosts blend irreverent banter, pop culture quips, and riffing on the show’s “spooky behavior,” making cryptids the perfect pairing for TCB’s brand of chaotic comedy just in time for Halloween.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

Setting the Scene: Spooky Season & TCB Lore

• Christina (TCB show runner) intros the episode, situating it as a “Best Of” collection focused on classic TCB-obsessed topics—namely, Mountain Monsters and its outlandish cast, plus the significance of spooky season for the podcast’s tone.
  [00:21]

The Return to Mountain Monsters: The Mothman Episode

• Bryan reveals the episode’s focus: watching a Mothman investigation from Mountain Monsters, in response to fan demand and the show’s own “TCB lore” status.
  “Let’s give the kids what they want. Plus, it’s good content! …We’re going to go in raw dogging Mountain Monsters: Mothman.” — Bryan [01:00]
• Jokes abound about the ever-confusing cast of the monster hunters (Huck, Buck, etc.), the ever-present Walmart in Mason County, and the group’s endless rotation of characters.
  [02:06 – 03:36]

Night One: Mothman Mayhem and Medical Mishaps

• Parody ensues as Buck “faints” (possibly from “mystic Mothman powers” or a fast-food coma), prompting the hosts to riff on the crew’s lack of emergency response skills.
  • “At your size, you probably had a heart attack or a stroke. But let me not dither, let me ask if you’re okay.” — Bryan [05:22]
  • “Let me get a Red Bull and a couple honey buns, we’ll get him back up.” — Bryan [05:49]
• The back-and-forth highlights the Monster hunters’ misplaced priorities—chasing cryptids over tending to one another’s health.

The Hunt Picks Up: Mothman Logic & “Scientific” Trapping

• The group theorizes that electrical currents attract the Mothman, leading to plans for an electrified, mega bug-zapper trap, which the hosts roast for its logic holes.
  • "He can teleport outside the cage. Doesn't make much sense." — Bryan [13:10]
  • "Who's at home rewiring their bug zapper? Pretty sure people on crystal meth like to do that kinda thing..." — Bryan [16:03]
• Disbelief and laughter at the "teleport-proof" cage and the show’s cavalier attitude toward high-voltage DIY setups.
  • "If someone can teleport, electricity is not gonna stop them. But what do I know about teleporting?" — Bryan [15:24]

Legendary Encounters: Eyewitness Interviews & Bridge Gate

• The team interviews Mark, who claims a chilling bridge encounter with a seven-foot, red-eyed Mothman. The hosts lampoon the vagueness and scientific rigor:
  • "They’re all writing as if this is an Agatha Christie murder mystery." — Bryan [22:46]
  • Skepticism reigns as the group admits the story “sounds a little sketchy”—even by Mountain Monsters standards.
  • "I just would imagine you’re not thinking this is an interrogation. I said I saw the Mothman—he’s 48 ft high with 400 ft wingspan, he kind of teleported away with his poop." — Bryan [29:09]

The Sheep Squatch Saga

• Christina swings the episode into the cryptid chase for “Sheep Squatch”—a supposed half-sheep, half-sasquatch creature:
  • "That’s what I was afraid of when I spent nights out in the woods—not the camp counselors, not my priest, but that sheep squatch…" — Bryan [33:16]
• The hosts gleefully skewer the monster’s hodgepodge design—rat tail, goat horns, and "piranha face".
  • "That’s not a sheep, that’s a goat!" — Bryan [34:50]
  • "How do you expect to catch anything at a groundbreaking 1.2 miles per hour? They’re swinging their guns at each other." — Bryan [36:00]

Slapstick Chasing, Disasters, and Monster Mayhem

• The mountain men’s cryptid chase devolves into chaos and pratfalls—slow-motion pursuits, accidental tumbles, and golf cart crashes feature heavily:
  • "Buck’s pants are ripped open in the front down one leg…and you can see his white boxers and his dangling participles." — Bryan [60:26]
  • "They just stand in a circle, swing their guns around, and yell at each other." — Bryan [44:06]
• The hosts marvel at the show's slapdash energy, with generous doses of bodily humor and self-deprecating nods to their own TCB "research" skills.
  • "Our whole episode is based on this one man’s sighting. But even for Mountain Monsters, it sounds a little sketchy." — Bryan [28:15]

The Elusive Proof Problem & Final Gags

• The Monster hunt, as always, yields zero proof. The hosts joke about the total lack of photographic evidence despite a camera crew.
  • "Where is the photographic evidence? You’re with a f**ing camera crew, mic’d up, cameras everywhere, lights and action…WHERE is the picture?"* — Bryan [57:15]
• The episode wraps with underpants gags, tired monster hunters, and a reminder that “all we get is comedy—but not evidence.”
  • "Once again, we don’t get proof, but we get comedy. There you go." — Bryan [62:14]

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On the Monster Hunter Crew:

  • "We're all going to go in hard. We're going to go in raw dogging Mountain Monsters: Mothman." — Bryan [01:20]
  • "Huck and Buck and Suck. And they're all out there doing it." — Bryan [02:40]

• Making Fun of “Evidence”:

  • "If he could teleport right on the outside of the cage….what is this, Star Trek?" — Bryan [13:07]
  • "You're assuming he's Mexican. That's pretty racist, buddy. 'Hombre'—this critter is big." — Bryan [58:10]

• Bridge & Pants Humor:

  • "Buck’s pants are ripped…it's a good thing I have on my long underwear, or you'd be seeing more than what you bargained for." — Buck [61:02]
  • "Let's look at my balls. Let's look at the real monster in this situation." — Bryan [61:18]

• Final Judgment:

  • "Once again, we don't get proof, but we get comedy. There you go." — Bryan [62:14]
  • "Those pesky monsters. I guess we'll just have to wait and see if they catch something next time." — Christina [62:20]

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• [01:00] — Announcing the Mountain Monsters episode and the Mothman hunt
• [02:43] — Mothman has "mystic powers"; Buck is hypnotized and faints
• [13:00] — Designing the electrified Mothman bug-zapper trap
• [22:27] — The Mark interview: The bridge encounter and skepticism
• [33:03] — Segue to Sheep Squatch and riffing on the cryptid design
• [36:00] — The glacial chase and slapstick slow motion of the hunt
• [44:03 – 44:22] — Hosts analyze “monster hunting” methodologies and offer suggestions (drones, scientists) with comedic derision
• [52:16] — Post-crash chaos; Buck and friends tumble down the hill
• [60:14] — Underwear disaster; pants torn, more bodily humor
• [62:14] — No proof, only comedy (conclusion)

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Additional Notes on Tone & Style

• The episode is relentlessly irreverent, with improv-style quips and intentional “bad research” that mirrors the Monster Hunters’ own lack of facts.
• Both the Mountain Monsters show and the TCB podcast parody themselves, building a meta-comedic atmosphere where the main point is camaraderie, self-deprecation, and laughter at the absurd.
• Standout is the friendly, slacker energy between Bryan, Krissy, Jeff, and Christina—a through-line of inside jokes about cryptids, bodily mishaps, and the very low bar for evidence.

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Summary Takeaway

If you crave a comedic, chaotic romp through the weirdest corners of American TV and pop culture—complete with Southern-fried monster chasers, zero conclusions, and plenty of laughter—this “Best Of: Spooky Behavior” delivers. The Mountain Monsters may never catch their quarry, but Bryan and Krissy definitely catch the spirit of Halloween, friendship, and the hilarity of believing in the impossible (or, at least, watching other people try).

Transcript

[Brian]

Once you have your sheets, it's time to make sure you have all your bedside accoutrements, fresh cat's milk, whiskey, and a cabinet full of lucky bones and hair to keep the night terrors away.

[Host Brian]

On this episode of the Commercial break.

[Christina]

Hi, it's your favorite best of episode creator Christina here with our last episode of the week. I hope you've been enjoying this little rewind, but I know we're all looking forward to some brand new episodes too. I definitely am because it means less talking for me since I've taken this last week to address some of our TCB show lore and also its spooky season. I thought it simply wouldn't be complete without. You guessed it, Mountain Monsters. Huck, Buck, Willie and Billy Cowboys, take me away.

[Narrator]

The next episode of the commercial break starts now.

[Host Brian]

Now, now, finally, I'm gonna announ something that probably has no suspense whatsoever. We're gonna do a Mountain Monsters episode. The Mothman has been requested by the Caden himself. Man, the Mothman. He says he gotta do this episode, Ryan. It's one of our favorites. I love it. And I said, you know what? Why not give the kids what they want? Plus, it's good content for the show. It's a content idea.

[Jeff]

I was missing Mountain Monsters.

[Host Brian]

Actually, I was too. I think it's been months since we've done a Mountain Monsters and you know, we did a Frankie b. On our 500th because of course, Frankie B. Yeah. But then Mountain Monsters also does play some kind of, you know, smaller, but just as part, I think, in our show, in the lore. And that is gives you something to listen to besides us. That's funny. You know what I'm saying? So here is the Mothman episode. They are chasing the Mothman, which I have no idea what it is. Haven't watched the video yet. First time. I'm a virgin. You're a virgin. Everybody's a virgin here. We're all going to go in hard. We're going to go in raw dogging Mountain Monsters. Mothman. Okay, here we go.

[Jeff]

Night one investigation.

[Huckleberry]

We're in Mason county looking for Mothman.

[Host Brian]

We're in Mason county, which I just made up. We're in Mason county, which is where we have been every other episode of Mountain Monsters. Right here behind the Walmart in Mason County. The field behind the cork. The Walmart at Mason County.

[Buck]

I seen some.

[Huckleberry]

The Mothman in this area goes back many, many years. These Mothman sightings go hand in hand with tragedy.

[Host Brian]

They go hand in hand with a good Reddit. These Guys are really bundled up. It must be cold out there.

[Jeff]

Mason County.

[Host Brian]

Huck and Buck and Suck. And they're all out there doing it.

[Huckleberry]

He seems to have mystic powers. He hypnotizes people. You're white as a sheep.

[Brian]

But, oh, guys, I'm allergic to hypnotizing. I got a doctor's note. I can't do this one. It makes me break out in hives and dance like a chicken. I one time got. I one time got hypnotized by the guy. The guy at the local fair. You know, the kings and the knights and stuff. What's that called? The Renaissance Fair. I got hypnotized by the Renaissance fair guy, and for three days, I walked around like a chicken with my pants off.

[Jeff]

Well, he just said. The other guy just said. To Buck or. Which one?

[Host Brian]

Yeah, that's Buck or Huck. No, that's Buck. That's Huck. Chuck. No. We've been doing this for five years, and I still don't know the names. We need a little chart. Yeah, we should have.

[Jeff]

He just said, you're white. You're really white.

[Host Brian]

You're really white.

[Jeff]

But meanwhile, he's got a headlamp shining on his face.

[Host Brian]

I know. First of all. Second of all, he was really white in the first place. I'm sorry, but I don't see Buck as the kind of guy that gets to Cabo very often. I could be wrong. I could be wrong.

[Huckleberry]

Seems to have mystic powers. He hypnotizes people. You're white as a sheep, Buck.

[Christina]

I'm all right.

[Buck]

I'm all right.

[Brian]

I'm all right.

[Host Brian]

I'm all right. I haven't gotten to Tanner bed this week.

[Huckleberry]

It's something we've never had to deal with before.

[Buck]

Hang on a sec. Hang on a second.

[Host Brian]

I. I got the runs. I'll be right back.

[Brian]

Hang on one second. That Baconator's coming back up on me, Boys.

[Host Brian]

I'm gonna have to go into the Walmart and blow that bathroom up. Can we. We're gonna destroy that restroom. Can you do me a favor? Security guards, run in there, see if you can't clear out that portalette.

[Jeff]

Oh.

[Brian]

Oh, man.

[Jeff]

Buck just went down.

[Host Brian]

And I mean, he really went down. Like, let's see. He actually went down. Wow. That was. That almost doesn't look fake. Wow. That Baconator did come back up on him. Wow. So you can't see this because you're listening to the show, but they're all standing around. The four main characters and mountain monsters are standing around, and Buck, who I think is generally known as the leader of the group. He's a very big boy, and he just falls over, but it kind of looks real. Yeah.

[Jeff]

Get him up now.

[Host Brian]

Buck. Buck, are you okay? Because if I'm not mistaken, you just passed out. And at your size, you probably had a heart attack or a stroke. But let me not dither. Let me ask you if you're okay. Like, shouldn't you immediately get emergency aid? Yeah. These guys are standing around saying his name. The guy just went head first into the ground.

[Brian]

Guys, he ain't faking. Come on, Buck. Let's get him over here.

[Jeff]

He ain't faking.

[Brian]

All right, let me get a Red Bull.

[Jeff]

Usually, like usual.

[Brian]

Yeah, let me get a Red Bull and a couple honey buns. We'll get him back. We'll get him back up.

[Host Brian]

These poor guys, like Elvis.

[Brian]

They just keep plugging him full of.

[Host Brian]

Fluids and trying to get him out on stage.

[Brian]

Hang on, now. Just lay there for a minute.

[Host Brian]

All right.

[Brian]

Hang on.

[Huckleberry]

You okay, Buck?

[Brian]

Breathe easy.

[Host Brian]

As if he was gonna get up on his own anytime soon. Like, lay down for a minute.

[Brian]

Breathe easy.

[Huckleberry]

You hit pretty hard.

[Jeff]

Oh, he's rubbing them.

[Host Brian]

No, they really do love each other. They're like little friends. There's a little group of friends running off their Mothman out there. That's what me and my friends do.

[Jeff]

On our days off.

[Brian]

You passed out.

[Buck]

Get up.

[Brian]

Set him up here.

[Buck]

Oh, hang on.

[Host Brian]

Hang on.

[Mark]

Stay right there.

[Host Brian]

Hang on. Hang on. I got some gas stuck in my rectum. Hang on, Hang on. Let me adjust my monster.

[Huckleberry]

Talk to me. Talk to me.

[Brian]

We got all that stuff. We'll take care of you.

[Host Brian]

Where's my flashlight?

[Jeff]

Do is continue to keep rolling.

[Host Brian]

Yeah, I'm just gonna keep rolling. No medical attention really needed. Wait, where's my flashlight? And my Costco membership card? Get those two things before I get up.

[Buck]

I have no clue what just happened to me. We walk into the woods and then.

[Host Brian]

Well, I'm not a doctor, but I am the third Huckleberry on this show. And if I had to take a guess, you were hypnotized by the Mothman.

[Buck]

I'm just kind of dizzy, and next thing I know, I open my eyes, I'm on the ground looking up at Huckleberry and Jeff. They told me that I passed out.

[Host Brian]

That's exactly what I want to see if I pass out. Huckleberry and Jeff on top of me. Brian.

[Brian]

Brian. I just wake up and then pass right back out.

[Jeff]

I'm like Uncle Barry and Jeff.

[Host Brian]

Uncle Barry And Jeff. Well, thank God Uncle Barry and Jeff were there. Yes, doing nothing for you but rubbing your belly.

[Buck]

I feel better.

[Brian]

Stand up a little bit.

[Buck]

I've seen something strange, you know, I don't know really what's going on. I'm just feeling a little weird. I don't know. Grab my shotgun.

[Host Brian]

I'll take care of you. Got my shotgun. That'll make me feel better.

[Jeff]

I'm feeling dizzy. Yeah, you got my gun.

[Host Brian]

I'm feeling dizzy and hypnotized and all out of sort.

[Brian]

You got my gun loaded?

[Host Brian]

Can I point it in multi directions? What if he just takes a gun and starts swinging it around?

[Brian]

How's everybody doing?

[Jeff]

Fall down again.

[Narrator]

Your thing covered here. You just worry about yourself.

[Brian]

You just take care of Buck.

[Host Brian]

Right.

[Narrator]

Your bandana.

[Buck]

Yeah. Thanks, guys.

[Host Brian]

They gave him some therapy lessons there. They're like, you take care of you?

[Jeff]

Do you bug some bug time.

[Host Brian]

You need some self love right there, buddy. Go draw a bath, get yourself a good magazine and a nice bottle of rose. You're gonna be right as rain by tomorrow. All right.

[Narrator]

Thank you.

[Host Brian]

Bachelor finale is on. Go watch it with Brian.

[Buck]

Grab my shotgun.

[Jeff]

Is that kind of. Oh, that's his beard. I thought it was a hazmat suit.

[Host Brian]

Well, he's like a walking hazmat suit. Like you should have a hazmat suit if you're around him. Almost.

[Brian]

Wow.

[Huckleberry]

Yeah. That's scary.

[Host Brian]

Well, that sucks. Guess we have to keep filming. Let us not.

[Jeff]

We gotta get that Mothman.

[Host Brian]

Let us not delay. The Mothman needs our attention.

[Brian]

I hope he's all right.

[Huckleberry]

I do too.

[Host Brian]

I hope he's all right. We probably should go to the hospital with him. But we're gonna stay here with our headlamps and run around like little children looking for Mothman.

[Brian]

I just don't know. I can't explain it.

[Huckleberry]

Bucket.

[Host Brian]

Now it's the next day. Just to keep you up the rest of what's going on at his sighting.

[Huckleberry]

And was clearly shaken up by what he saw that night. Now it's time to go after the Mothman.

[Host Brian]

Oh, now it's time to go after the Mothman.

[Jeff]

It's just a free. Yeah, that was a pre launch party.

[Host Brian]

Yeah, that's a little tailgating before the Fish concert. I've seen stranger stuff at a widespread panic show. I see that every time. Guys going down on their face and other guys standing around going, hello. Hello.

[Huckleberry]

Gracious idea that these electrical currents attracted the Mothman just may lead to an idea that may help us devise a trapped.

[Host Brian]

Wait. Who's this guy, Trapper, who showed.

[Jeff]

I don't know, it almost looked like this may be an earlier.

[Host Brian]

Earlier or later episode.

[Jeff]

Well, because it said buck and then it below it said rookie.

[Host Brian]

Oh, it said rookie. Yeah. Oh, he does look younger in this episode, too. Yeah. We don't know because we don't do any research before we start this show. We aren't aware of all the comings and goings of everybody because we fail to do any homework whatsoever. I'm reading this article the other day about podcasts and, like, spreading misinformation on podcasts. And this. The girl wrote the. The article, which was. Which was, I think, well done, but a little snarky. Was like. Because podcasts, all they do is just claim they don't know anything while they spread misinformation. We really don't know anything. So. Yeah. But luckily we're only spreading misinformation about mountain monsters, so I don't think we're harming anybody here.

[Bill]

We are, Bill. Normally when I design traps, I design them for stuff.

[Host Brian]

Really. It's my rat.

[Brian]

My rat grew up to be a mountain monster. You did it, Willy. You did. Survived the legend of Willy.

[Host Brian]

He's now a trap builder for the mountain monsters.

[Jeff]

It makes total sense.

[Host Brian]

It makes total sense.

[Brian]

Oh, I love this.

[Host Brian]

He went down into the sewers.

[Jeff]

He freed Willy and looked at who he became.

[Host Brian]

He went down into the sewers.

[Jeff]

He's like a tedious mutant.

[Host Brian]

Yeah. He came in contact with nuclear waste and he became a mountain monster. I'm so glad things turned out for you.

[Brian]

It's me, Daddy. It's me.

[Host Brian]

Daddy.

[Brian]

Come back.

[Host Brian]

You could sit on my shoulder. You're a little big, but you can sit on my shoulder again. Just like the old times. I'll put you in a box with some of that shaved up cardboard.

[Brian]

You'll be fine.

[Host Brian]

Things will be great, just like they used to be. Oh, Ben, the two of us need.

[Brian]

Look no more and being able to.

[Bill]

Hold and contain whatever creatures we're after. But this one's totally different.

[Brian]

I've heard about them all, man. That thing can just go from, like, wild buildings.

[Jeff]

Before he was yelling.

[Host Brian]

Oh, yeah, he. He was calm back then, before the producers started saying, well, you're just not interesting enough.

[Brian]

How's that? What about you all? Y' all are all the time like this. Come here yonder mothman. I'll be down by the crick.

[Host Brian]

Just.

[Bill]

A matter of seconds. Any kind of trap that I build that we're going to drop down over top. If he could teleport right on the outside of the cage.

[Host Brian]

Teleport?

[Brian]

What is this, Star Trek?

[Host Brian]

He can teleport outside the cage. Why are you trying to build a cage? I know for a creature that can teleport outside cages. Doesn't make much sense.

[Bill]

And be free again. So what I got here is a cage that guy can electrify which he can't teleport through electricity. You know basically how a bug zapper works.

[Host Brian]

Yeah.

[Bill]

Well this is.

[Host Brian]

Yeah, no, I sure do.

[Jeff]

Yeah. He needed to crank it up a notch.

[Host Brian]

I sure do. I've been. I got five of those in front of my house on my front porch. I knock into them every once in a while.

[Bill]

Largest bug zapper you ever seen.

[Brian]

Giant. Giant bug zapper.

[Host Brian]

What does Jap Jap mean?

[Jeff]

A giant giant.

[Host Brian]

Oh, he said giant giant. I thought he said Jap Jap. Wait one second. Let's go back. You might be right.

[Brian]

I think he said Jap Jap.

[Host Brian]

It's his own mountain monster language. But of course he's talking to a full sized rat. Mutant. A mutant rodent. So he does probably have to tailor his language to his audience. I got it. I understand.

[Bill]

This is the idea. I come up with two before galvanized electrifying wire. Then I got this high voltage electric box that I brought with me. This will be enough juice.

[Brian]

I've got this extremely dangerous high voltage lightning box we're going to put right under the hive powered transmission lines.

[Jeff]

I know it. Should this be. I know like the electrical lines going through the whole like 10 acres.

[Host Brian]

Yeah, we've all seen it. You're driving down the road somewhere a little rural and then out of nowhere there's like these huge power ski slopes. Yeah, ski slopes. They just go on forever.

[Jeff]

The ski things, ski lifts.

[Host Brian]

Those are the high wattage power lines that consist that make up the grid in the United States. And they connect and they go for hundreds of miles, maybe thousands of miles.

[Brian]

I don't know.

[Host Brian]

But they're underneath these things because they think that's where the mothman is going to be attracted to. And their bright idea is to put yet another high voltage electrical thing right under the high. That's so dumb.

[Bill]

Be able to energize this whole cage. Pull it up clear to the top of the bridge.

[Host Brian]

Sent the old trigger.

[Bill]

Once he gets up underneath of it. Motions will set it off. Cage drops down around to him.

[Brian]

He's home to stay.

[Bill]

He cannot teleport to the outside. And he can't touch the side of the cage.

[Host Brian]

Can't Teleport. I'm pretty sure if someone could teleport, electricity is not gonna stop them. But I don't know. What do I know about teleporting?

[Bill]

If he does, it'll be like barbecue.

[Host Brian]

Get her done, bro. You just know what you need to.

[Brian]

Do in the old Marine.

[Host Brian]

Tell me what you need to do, and I'm gonna go get some crank and I'll be right back. I'm gonna go shake up my Mountain Dew meth bottle and I'll be right back, and we'll get her done.

[Bill]

This is a unique cage trap. It's actually the biggest bug zapper ever built.

[Brian]

That is some tough stuff, brother.

[Bill]

I've rewired up my bug zapper here at the house a time or two. Be able to catch these moths and millers and these damn little.

[Host Brian]

Who's at home rewiring their bug zapper? Who does that? I'm pretty sure people on crystal meth like to do that kind of thing, don't they? Take apart TVs and put them back together and I mean.

[Jeff]

You know, rewiring.

[Host Brian]

When you're at home rewiring your bug zapper after a long day at a party with chiropractors, you know how it goes.

[Brian]

Oh, Lord.

[Host Brian]

Okay, let's do this. Let's take a break, and then we're. Let's take a break and then we'll get back to our good friends here at Mountain Monsters. We'll be back.

[Christina]

Are you lonely, Depressed? Listless? Feeling silly? Call TCB at 212-4333, TCB to get advice on your most difficult life circumstances. That advice will probably be bad, but that's okay. Call today. It's only 79.99 plus shipping and handling for Ask TCB Advice Services. That's 212-433-3822. Now that I have your attention, you should know that you can also follow us on Instagram hecommercial break and on TikTokCBpodcast. If you want to request our latest sticker, head to tcbpodcast.com, click contact and select sticker request from the drop down menu. And don't forget, you owe me $79.99 plus shipping and handling.

[Host Brian]

All right, we're back in our own Faraday cage over here at the commercial break. Let's get back to the mountain monsters. They're currently building the world's largest bug zapper, which imagine what these guys could do if they put.

[Bill]

To fly around and aggravate you and bug you. But I've never in my life built a bug zapper this big.

[Host Brian]

Why would you? For what reason?

[Brian]

Hear anybody eating a old mothworm?

[Bill]

From good eating, bro.

[Brian]

I mean, once you're getting fried up in here.

[Host Brian]

Every time.

[Brian]

On having some moth wings. After we get the moth man in here.

[Jeff]

Is he drunk?

[Host Brian]

Yeah, he is something. First of all. Yeah, I think as the seasons go on, he gets drunker and that's why he gets louder. But he is something. Or maybe that's just the way he is. I don't know. Seems like a nice enough guy. Just does a lot of weird talking. Jab, jab.

[Bill]

Damn it. Thanks towards easy.

[Jeff]

So now they're nothing starts easy.

[Host Brian]

Yeah, I know. Dang. That thing starts easy. I don't trust things to start that easy.

[Bill]

Plug it in right there, Bill, and I'll show you how this little machine works right here.

[Host Brian]

Flip her on, brother.

[Bill]

Power button. I know the market.

[Brian]

Power.

[Jeff]

You turn it on.

[Host Brian]

Electro cubes. That's amazing.

[Jeff]

That's how it works.

[Host Brian]

He's like the real life. Remember? King of the Hill?

[Jeff]

Yes, the dad.

[Host Brian]

No, no. The guy who would just mumble.

[Bill]

Boomhauer I come up with is having a cage. That guy can electrify. He can't teleport through electricity.

[Host Brian]

How do you know that? Who? Who has been teleporting through electricity or not? Yeah, of course.

[Bill]

Right back here, buddy.

[Brian]

Oh, Lord. Oh, yeah.

[Bill]

Ah, you see them two resistors right there?

[Host Brian]

You see those two resistors right there? You want to have a great fire tonight? Stick your dick in it. Your hair. Make your hair stand on end.

[Bill]

Produce electrical horse that will fry his little ass.

[Brian]

He'll thank you. Old Fourth of July's come early.

[Host Brian]

He'll think the Fourth of July has come early. Do you think the Mothman has a calendar? I'm just wondering. Well, Halloween's coming up.

[Jeff]

It's my busy time.

[Host Brian]

It's my busy time. All the kids are gonna make fun of me again. Mothman costume again. That's how I was born.

[Narrator]

There's a lot of people down here in Mason county that have spoken about the red big pan, like gazing eyes. Buck had an awfully terrifying feeling once the Mothman had looked him straight in the eyes. And I've got grave concerns.

[Host Brian]

Wait. When did the Mothman look him straight in the eyes?

[Jeff]

I don't know.

[Host Brian]

He just fell over. I didn't see any Mothman.

[Jeff]

Well, no, of course they didn't get me on camera.

[Host Brian]

Now he's just tired. In the back of the trip, they're all riding in the car, and Buck's, like, got his eyes closed in the back with his head bobbling all over the place.

[Narrator]

We've been out on several investigations, and this is the first time we've came across something of this nature that would make one of the team members sick.

[Buck]

You know, after seeing what I seen up at Crash's Field, I seen these two big glowing eyes.

[Brian]

I got two big glowing eyes.

[Host Brian]

Look like headlights about a mile away, first of all. Second of all, I've never been on a mountain monster set, But I guarantee this is not the first thing that has made people sick on a monster set. I can only imagine what craft services looks like over there.

[Brian]

Well, I got extra Doritos Taco Locos from Taco Bell and Mountain Dew, just like you requested. I do have to say I bought the Taco Locos about a week ago, but they still smell. Okay, chop, chop. I'm gonna eat them. Sounds good to me.

[Buck]

Passed out and I haven't felt well since.

[Host Brian]

Oh, we're getting ready to go on an interview.

[Narrator]

This guy was out in the woods. He's an avid hunter and trapper. He sighted him on a perch up on top of an old county bridge. Been closed for years.

[Host Brian]

Who's hanging around an old county bridge closed for years? I mean, I realize there's not a lot to do. I realize not everybody lives in Atlanta, Georgia.

[Jeff]

I get it.

[Host Brian]

Yeah. I have been friends with. I have been to. I have been out in the backwoods. I know I've been to parties in the woods where you pretend like you're in the backwoods for a couple of days, but I don't know who's at an old bridge looking for Mothman.

[Huckleberry]

We're headed over to see a man named Mark.

[Host Brian]

How we doing?

[Buck]

Pretty good.

[Mark]

How are you?

[Huckleberry]

Mark's telling us that he was out deer hunting, and he sees this figure sitting on the top of this old bridge. It gives him a very eerie feeling.

[Host Brian]

Oh, scientific proof.

[Mark]

Back in the woods there, scouting for deer, and I seen this big creature on a bridge.

[Host Brian]

I love how they all have their notebooks out and they're writing as if this is an Agatha Christie murder mystery.

[Mark]

I had no idea what it was. It was a little bigger than me, had red, glowing eyes, and I was just standing there, mesmerized by it.

[Buck]

How tall was it?

[Mark]

It had to been at least seven foot tall. Heard stories.

[Host Brian]

Seven foot, eight foot, nine foot. What makes it better for the television?

[Mark]

Weaned creatures before. Told my buddies about it, and they.

[Huckleberry]

Mentioned something about a mothman that's entirely possible because.

[Host Brian]

That's entirely possible because we're doing an episode on Mothman right now and it's in the script. If my name isn't Trapper. Wasn't there a show called Trapper, Maryland one time?

[Jeff]

I think so.

[Host Brian]

Yeah, I think so. Back in the 70s, been a lot.

[Huckleberry]

Of sightings of the Mothman in this part of the country. When people have close up sightings of him, the eyes is what really gets them. I'm very excited this took place.

[Jeff]

That's why he's wearing sunglasses.

[Host Brian]

The guy they're talking to has sunglasses. And that Trapper guy starts talking to him like he knows what he's talking about. And his mouth is wide open and he's just like nodding his head and then shaking it also, he's like, now that's not what I said. I said I thought I saw a.

[Huckleberry]

Creature on a bridge. Because that's the Mothman's portfolio.

[Jeff]

That's his MO Portfolio.

[Host Brian]

That's his MO his old county bridges, near deer hunting grounds where no one else can witness. I do see a pattern coming together here.

[Huckleberry]

Really like to see this bridge.

[Narrator]

Mark had deciding a Mothman on this bridge. But the characteristics of it relate back to 1967 and the silver bridge collapsed. What's scary is to have a sighting of Mothman today. Everybody feels that whenever you see the Mothman, there's tragedy. It follows.

[Brian]

Oh, I can see the like buck.

[Host Brian]

Tipping over like a sleeping cow.

[Brian]

Yeah.

[Huckleberry]

Yep. Man, that's a unique bridge.

[Brian]

They don't build them like that anymore, do they?

[Host Brian]

They don't build them like that anymore, do they? That's what I three, four foot expansion bridge.

[Brian]

Close.

[Host Brian]

Yeah. There's a reason why it literally has no road anymore. It's two pieces of iron swung across a creek. I swear to God is no bigger than six feet across. None. They don't make them like that anymore. No, they don't. Because they could literally just put some dirt in there and make a road.

[Buck]

That bridge is way too little to hold anything, especially someone my size. And the Mothman's supposed to be bigger. There's no way to hold.

[Huckleberry]

Wanted to see your bridge because Mothman.

[Host Brian]

Yeah, but if you win, if you can teleport. Now, if you could teleport, that's a different story. Yeah, you just kind of float above it a little bit. Chrissy, you're not thinking about this correctly in scientific terms.

[Huckleberry]

Been seen around bridges so much that actually we're going to incorporate a bridge into our trap.

[Mark]

Yeah, I saw that creature sitting right up on top of that rail on the right. He was just to going kind of crouched on top of that rail.

[Host Brian]

Are you sure it wasn't the DMT talking?

[Jeff]

It's just crouch.

[Host Brian]

It was just crouch. He was taking a Mothman shit. Poops the size of logs. It was amazing.

[Mark]

And it just kind of put the fear of God in me. That's when he jumped up and glided across.

[Host Brian]

That's when he jumped up and made another dropping. And then. I collected the scat. Would you like to see it? It's the size of the Mothman. Rumor has it he's got straight intestines. Food just goes right through him. Rumor has it Mothman has the biggest dung of any of the creatures we've chased.

[Jeff]

Jeff will know the researcher.

[Host Brian]

Yeah, for sure. Weren't they one time, like, sticking their hands in some like. They were Wolfman scat or something?

[Buck]

He just kind of.

[Mark]

Nah, he just kind of disappeared.

[Host Brian]

He just kind of.

[Jeff]

Everybody's doing it now.

[Brian]

Everyone's doing the same.

[Host Brian]

Same little noise. He just got up, you know.

[Brian]

Yeah. I don't want to say it on.

[Host Brian]

National television, but, you know, let himself loose. He really let one go and it flew off. Flames coming from his anus, his dung literally set on fire coming out of his butt. And, you know.

[Brian]

Well, that tracks with what we've heard.

[Host Brian]

From other Mothman sightings.

[Mark]

Golf into the dust.

[Buck]

Mark didn't have a whole lot of details or facts in this story. The story was very.

[Brian]

Why we. This is why we spent 15 minutes.

[Host Brian]

Of this episode talking about him is because he didn't really actually tell the.

[Jeff]

Truth, facts or research.

[Host Brian]

He didn't do any facts or research or anything really beneficial.

[Jeff]

So it's like the commercial break.

[Brian]

I know.

[Host Brian]

It's just. I felt like we were getting into commercial break territory, so I just kind of let him go.

[Brian]

This.

[Host Brian]

Our whole episode is based on this one man's sightings. But in hindsight, I do have to admit, even for the mountain monsters, it would sound a little sketchy.

[Buck]

But I think that he was just, you know, a little surprised, you know, whatever he seen, it was dark.

[Narrator]

What do you think about what he's wing span was from? You know, from where you saw him?

[Host Brian]

Oh, 50ft at least. I don't know what's in the script. Five. Five feet. Five feet. You know, when he opened his wing, you know, just kind of. It just kind of came out. I don't know.

[Brian]

All right, can we focus less on.

[Host Brian]

The pooping and more about him? Oh, yeah. He, you know, he also turned his head and, you know, it just got up.

[Mark]

Guessing 12, 14ft wide.

[Narrator]

That's pretty big. Mark's story's not adding up. Some of the things he was telling us just couldn't be true.

[Huckleberry]

The bridge wasn't the right height.

[Host Brian]

Wow. I've never seen the mountain monsters discount a story like this. But this is probably. I think you're right. This is an early episode and they're probably trying to give some credibility to this. Poor Mark. I mean, you go on the mountain monsters, you don't expect to be grilled by the mountain monsters. I don't know, but I just would imagine you're not thinking this is going to be an interrogation. I said I saw the mouth man. He's 48ft high and 400ft of wingspan and, you know, he kind of teleported away with his poop.

[Narrator]

I just really believe that he'd seen an owl.

[Jeff]

An owl? A huge mothman to an owl.

[Brian]

This guy's like, I've been doing ketamine therapy after I saw that mothman. Now you're telling me it was an owl?

[Host Brian]

Wow. Poor Mark. I mean, now all his friends are like, yeah, you're the guy that lied on mountain monsters. I mean, if you couldn't get any.

[Huckleberry]

Lower, appreciate you bringing us out here and spending time with us. No problem. That had to been one hell of an experience. That's all I have to say.

[Host Brian]

Yes, sure was. I was pretty high then. I'm not so much now. I'm actually feeling not so good. If I could go back and do some more narcotics, I'll probably feel better.

[Brian]

I'm not real enthused with his story because the damned old bridges are rotten. That and we're Talking about a 6, 700 pound animals sitting on top of this bridge. And I'm pretty sure that it.

[Host Brian]

They got a CGI rendering. This is no Steven Spielberg work here. No Amblin Entertainment here.

[Jeff]

It's no James Camera.

[Host Brian]

Pixar did not make this.

[Jeff]

It's a man.

[Host Brian]

It's like a man like creature with big wings and red glowing eyes drawn by my son in preschool who collapsed with it.

[Buck]

The mothman may have caused the Silver Bridge to collapse. I'll tell you right now, it ain't gonna take much for that bridge to collapse.

[Huckleberry]

It's pretty rinkety, isn't it?

[Brian]

It is.

[Huckleberry]

We'll make sure we don't get anyone out on there.

[Buck]

I mean, you're not even gonna send me this time?

[Huckleberry]

I'll send you out on there. Buck, that bridge is so old and so decrepit. I don't even believe it'd hold the weight of the Mothman, let alone a trap. We definitely have to find another bridge to set. Trap our for the Mothman.

[Host Brian]

The Mothman's just coming to bridges. That's all he does. Just hang out on bridges.

[Jeff]

That's apparently this portfolio.

[Host Brian]

His portfolio. That's his scene, Chrissy. You know, some people are in the emo punk, hippie bands. You know what I'm saying? He's into bridges and why not?

[Brian]

Oh, okay.

[Host Brian]

Oh, that's it. We don't get any more. Oh no. There is a follow up video to this. There definitely is a follow up video to this and I would love to show it. Man, oh man.

[Christina]

No Mothman sighting today. That was a real mouthful. But maybe, just maybe, we'll get a sighting of the sheep Squatch. Take it away, Brian.

[Host Brian]

Last episode we did mountain monsters. Some of our favorite guys on earth are those mountain monster guys. Number two, Huckleberry three, Huckleberry four, and Trapper John, who I didn't even know was a guy on the show until yesterday.

[Jeff]

Well, what about Willie too?

[Host Brian]

Oh, yeah, that's right, Tone. Free Willy. There he is. The rat that I let go years ago. He did just fine. Now he's living in the backwoods of Kentucky, spotting Mothman. Yeah, West Virginia. I'm pretty sure this is all filmed at the exact same place. Yeah, I'm pretty sure. And it's probably not West Virginia. It's definitely Kentucky. I don't know. Who knows? Anyway, so here's what I did. I found us another one. Without further ado, I'm strolling on the.

[Jeff]

Internet as you do.

[Host Brian]

As I do like to do. And here the mountain monsters are not chasing Sasquatch. They're chasing Sheep Squatch.

[Jeff]

Oh, sheep Squatch.

[Host Brian]

Yeah, it's a combo of the Sasquatch.

[Jeff]

The legend of the sheep, the legend.

[Host Brian]

Of the sheep squads. That's what I was afraid of when I spend the nights out in the woods. Not the camp counselors, not the boy scout guys, not my priests, but that's sheep Squatch. Always running around the woods ramming people.

[Jeff]

It's huge. I'm assuming it's big.

[Host Brian]

Oh, it's got to be.

[Jeff]

And it has horns.

[Host Brian]

Oh, you don't know how big it is. And yes, it does have horns. When it gets excited, it gets horns. All right, let's take a look and see. We're on the final night of the hunt. According to.

[Jeff]

There's a full Moon.

[Host Brian]

There's a full. Of course there's always a full moon. It's B roll footage. They gotta make some kind of explanation as to why it's so very bright everywhere they go.

[Jeff]

Full moon.

[Host Brian]

Yeah.

[Bill]

There was a hair.

[Buck]

There it was again.

[Brian]

There it is again. There it is again. There it is again. Yeah. Guys, listen. I'm over here and I got my dick stuck in a willow. I'm trying to get it out. It's making a knocking sound. Don't mind me.

[Buck]

We're in Boone county and we're hunting the sheep.

[Brian]

Squatch.

[Jeff]

He said that with a straight face.

[Brian]

They're always in Boone County.

[Host Brian]

Boone county is the same county every state. It's Boone County. Poor Boone County. They got the worst reputation.

[Brian]

Look at this.

[Jeff]

Oh my God. They put up a picture of the sheepsquatch.

[Host Brian]

Oh wow.

[Jeff]

It has got the body of a sasquatch. Sasquatch. And a weird piranha mouth.

[Host Brian]

And a dog face. And then goat horns. I don't even think that's a sheep. I think It's a goat.

[Buck]

Six and a half, seven foot tall. Weighs over 600 pounds.

[Host Brian]

He's got a rat tail.

[Brian]

Oh my God.

[Host Brian]

What the is going on? These guys are going a little too crazy.

[Jeff]

They're just making up anything.

[Host Brian]

Of course they are. And by the way, I'm so proud to announce. I'm so proud of our country. I'm so proud of us as a United States of America. That I will read a lot of the comments below some of these videos on YouTube. And people take it just as we do. It's just comedy golf to them.

[Buck]

And has a huge set of horns like a ram. He just ran off. He just ran off.

[Narrator]

Damn it.

[Huckleberry]

Damn it.

[Bill]

He got away.

[Jeff]

Huge. £600.

[Brian]

God damn it. I'm gonna go chase this thousand pound piranha mouth dog face. Scott Squatch with horns that could kill me by myself. Y' all stay here.

[Host Brian]

I don't think that's running more than.

[Jeff]

It is just leaping over a log.

[Host Brian]

Moving your feet in place. What is he doing? What'd he get?

[Brian]

I can't see it.

[Buck]

Holy cow.

[Brian]

Looks at right there. Guys.

[Host Brian]

How do you expect to catch anything at a groundbreaking 1.2 miles per hour? They're just. They're swinging their guns all over the place at each other.

[Huckleberry]

Holy.

[Brian]

Right there's that tree he was laying up against.

[Buck]

He was just right here. He was just here.

[Brian]

He was just here two and a half feet from us.

[Host Brian]

Because we didn't run anywhere.

[Brian]

We literally stumbled two feet he was right there. Imagine we could have actually had a camera take a picture of this creature.

[Host Brian]

So that we could be the most.

[Brian]

Famous people on earth.

[Jeff]

They got away too quick.

[Host Brian]

Yeah, so they always do. Chrissy.

[Brian]

Oh, guys, I'm sorry. It scared me. Look at that. He tore up Jack, didn't he? That sheep squash just attacked this tree. He just tore a bark up.

[Host Brian]

Then.

[Brian]

The thing and almost fell over. Then I ran and then he fell and then I came down. God damn. Here, let me make my sheep calling.

[Jeff]

That was good.

[Brian]

This is bad news. I'm telling you what. Dug a big old hole in the ground where he slung against that thing and just tore out north right towards that track.

[Bill]

Keep going to the left.

[Brian]

That looks like a fucking word you said.

[Jeff]

He's the worst.

[Host Brian]

I know, Bill. I'd have earmuffs if I worked with that guy. And I'm a guy who screams for a living.

[Bill]

Keep an eye on your left up there, Trapper.

[Mark]

Okay.

[Huckleberry]

Careful there, Willy. You fall off that son of bitch, we never get you out of here.

[Host Brian]

I can see the brush if you. There's a tree that has fallen over what is clearly a three and a half inch ravine.

[Brian]

Yeah.

[Host Brian]

And they're saying, don't, don't fall off. We'll never get you out of there. Well, because. Mainly because the rest of you are £380 out there towards right, straight in.

[Bill]

Front of me, about 75 yards. Just. I can hear it.

[Huckleberry]

Back up and come around and come up here with us. That log's gonna lead you to no place.

[Host Brian]

I love how these guys, they're so sweet with each other. Don't get yourself stuck on a log that's falling down that'll lead no place. Well, I'm pretty sure anywhere you go in this scenario leads you to no place.

[Jeff]

Yeah.

[Huckleberry]

Cross the ravine, bounce back through there. I see his eye.

[Brian]

Right there.

[Host Brian]

Right there.

[Huckleberry]

Right out there. About 60, 70 yards. He's moving up to the left.

[Jeff]

Eyes.

[Brian]

No, his eye, guys. That's me.

[Host Brian]

I see his eye.

[Jeff]

That's it though. Just his eye.

[Host Brian]

Yeah. From 75 yards away. He sees his eye.

[Brian]

Guys, that's me. Don't shoot. Don't shoot.

[Bill]

There he go.

[Huckleberry]

He's going exactly in the right direction. We want him to though.

[Brian]

Trapper, go ahead. Hey, we just caught him.

[Host Brian]

Trapper MD CBS needs a new episode by Tuesday.

[Jeff]

Go ahead.

[Host Brian]

Yeah. Trapper M.D.

[Buck]

He'S over here, hitting up against the trees. Got Lee's kicked back. He's right between us on the trail.

[Huckleberry]

We just seen him over here.

[Brian]

Seen his eyes go up this ridgeline?

[Host Brian]

No, I'm perfectly relaxed in this situation. I'm just gonna be sitting on the ground. Buck, the guy who's closest to the sheep. Man, Sheep. Squatch. Sheepfoot. Whatever it is. The guy who's closest to the sheepfoot, he's sitting on the ground, just relaxed as he can be. Don't worry about me, guys. I'm good.

[Brian]

Listen, isn't that.

[Host Brian]

The sound editors on this are just awesome.

[Jeff]

I know they are hearing that, Buck.

[Buck]

Yeah, I'm hearing a trapper.

[Huckleberry]

We need to join back up. Are you close to the log pile?

[Buck]

Yeah, we're pretty close to it.

[Huckleberry]

We'll meet you at the log pile.

[Host Brian]

Are you close to the dumping pile?

[Jeff]

At the log pile.

[Host Brian]

Meet me at the log pile. You mean the hole in the ground.

[Brian]

Where we take our shits or the actual log pile?

[Host Brian]

No, the stinkies.

[Huckleberry]

Let's go.

[Buck]

I just heard the sheep squats roar. That thing was loud. It echoed all the way up this holler. It's incredible.

[Host Brian]

Over here.

[Huckleberry]

Over here.

[Host Brian]

Wow. The action in this is like. It's crazy. They're all moving at a glacial pace, just swinging their guns wildly around.

[Jeff]

I think they also just met up with the other. There was one another team. And then they missed them though.

[Host Brian]

You've never hunted for cryptids, but if you had hunted for Cryptids, you know, that's how it goes. Cryptids, that's what they're called. These, these wild animals that don't really exist, but people want to believe that they do. They're called cryptids.

[Jeff]

I didn't know that.

[Host Brian]

And so let me share with you then when you go Cryptid hunting, you know like a 3,000 pound, seven and a half foot tall thing with fangs and muscles.

[Jeff]

At night.

[Host Brian]

Yeah, at night, under the full moon, you know what you do? You split up. It gives this creature a better chance to eat you alive.

[Buck]

We're hurting.

[Host Brian]

We heard him.

[Brian]

We've seen him too.

[Huckleberry]

We got to keep pushing him north, right towards the trap. Let's move right through there now.

[Jeff]

Oh, they've got a trap.

[Brian]

Form a line.

[Host Brian]

Everybody point your gun at the guy next to you. Let's form a line and we'll walk slowly until one of us dies accidentally.

[Buck]

The team just met up. We're gonna keep pushing north on this deer trail right up where Mason had his encounter with the sheep squads.

[Host Brian]

That's a. They got a map on there that's showing you where they are. And that's a. Not a map. It's just a. Arrows yeah, it's just arrows pointing in a northerly direction.

[Buck]

My feeder's just right over the hill.

[Host Brian]

Right there.

[Brian]

Go, go, go, go, go.

[Host Brian]

Run slower than you were running before.

[Brian]

Go, go, go, go.

[Host Brian]

God damn, dude.

[Huckleberry]

Is that the fader, isn't it?

[Buck]

Check your thermal, Jeff.

[Brian]

I'm scanning.

[Host Brian]

Check your thermal. Check your thermal.

[Jeff]

Your thermal underwear.

[Brian]

Yeah, I made a little bing bang.

[Host Brian]

In my pants earlier from craft services, but I'm good.

[Brian]

Anybody got any wet wipes?

[Host Brian]

I got a delicate anus. Biodegradable, please. I don't want to hurt this Boone County.

[Huckleberry]

He's moving fast, guys.

[Brian]

Yeah, down the hill. Straight down the hill. Come on, Bill. Straight up a scale. I know. They're just going so slow. They're trying to chase a 7,000pound creature.

[Host Brian]

That'S seven and a half feet tall. And they could not be moving slower. It's like they're running in place. They're doing the backwoods shuffle. They're just shuffling their feet along the.

[Brian]

Ground right here with this deer stand. Something smacked it and tuck off down the hill.

[Huckleberry]

What do you got?

[Brian]

Well, I found it, unfortunately. Huckleberry number three is gone. He's dead. But I did find him.

[Host Brian]

And then he ran away.

[Brian]

And as hard as I ran, I.

[Host Brian]

Just couldn't catch up with him. I was right there.

[Brian]

I can't see nothing. Right in there.

[Host Brian]

What is.

[Huckleberry]

We gotta get to the side besides Huckleberry. He's moving too fast.

[Jeff]

We gotta get the.

[Host Brian]

We gotta get the size of Buckleberry.

[Jeff]

He's moving too fast, Chop.

[Host Brian]

Yup, he's moving too fast. Or maybe you're moving too slow. Maybe half your problem on this stupid show is that you guys just don't know how to run. It's just crawling, basically.

[Buck]

What's the new trapper?

[Huckleberry]

We gotta get the side besides to push him north. Huckleberry and I'll take one, you guys.

[Brian]

Take the other one.

[Host Brian]

I mean, there has got to be a more scientific way of doing this, don't you think? Like, shouldn't you have a chopper up above? Like, with like a drone? Yeah, like a drone. A couple scientists who are ready to draw blood or something. Like, there's got to be a better way to go about capturing the sheep squad.

[Jeff]

I mean, it's just their process. Brian, don't knock it.

[Host Brian]

I don't knock it. I've made a good living off their process. But I'm just sharing with you. It's kind of silly the way they go about this. They just stand in a circle, swing their guns around and yell at each other. Essentially, it.

[Huckleberry]

Let's go.

[Bill]

Let's go. Let's go.

[Host Brian]

Let's go. Let's go.

[Brian]

Move out.

[Host Brian]

Let's go.

[Huckleberry]

The sheep Squatch is way too fast for us to keep up with him on foot. We need to jump in the side.

[Jeff]

Besides and pushing poison this creature.

[Host Brian]

I know. He's just dancing.

[Jeff]

Oh, my God.

[Billy]

Over here.

[Huckleberry]

Over here.

[Host Brian]

Over here.

[Billy]

Come on, Buck. Run down that hill. Whoops. Scott, you missed me. I'm behind the tree. Red rover, Red rover.

[Bill]

Marco.

[Host Brian]

Marco.

[Billy]

Oh, these mountain monsters. I love screwing of them. Here, let me scramble up this tree real quick.

[Brian]

So much fun.

[Billy]

Hey, guys, if you do catch me, I'm just gonna eat you. But let's have some fun with it for a while, huh? Here. I'm gonna run at a normal human pace. You guys will be a mile behind me in about five minutes. Come get me.

[Huckleberry]

Let's go.

[Brian]

Come on, Gravel. Go, go, go, go, go.

[Buck]

Let's go.

[Brian]

Willie. Let's go. Go, go. Hurry up.

[Huckleberry]

Where you guys going?

[Host Brian]

Go, go, go.

[Billy]

Where? I'm right here. You don't need to get to a golf cart. You just walk to me and then. And then I'll eat you. Oh, here come my horns. I'll be right back.

[Host Brian]

Let's go.

[Brian]

More on him.

[Host Brian]

Yeah, let's go.

[Brian]

Stay right on him, T. Stay right on him.

[Jeff]

Stay right on him.

[Host Brian]

Listen to the crazy noises in the background.

[Brian]

He's back on the ground. Boy.

[Billy]

Am I scaring you yet? Here, wait. Let me make a little tapping noises.

[Host Brian]

Oh, over here.

[Billy]

Oh, you missed me. Hey, you want to play a game of tag? You tag my mouth and I'll chop off your arms. What do you think?

[Jeff]

No.

[Host Brian]

All right.

[Jeff]

There's about one eye.

[Billy]

Yeah, I got one eye. Even with my one eye and dislocated shoulder and my bad head, I'm still faster than Buck. Okay.

[Brian]

Run, you bastard, run. Yeah.

[Host Brian]

Like they're on a horse. Yeah.

[Brian]

Get him.

[Host Brian]

John deere. Tractor. Lawnmower. All right, let's take a break. And we're gonna be back with mamas. We gotta. We gotta figure out what happens here. Chrissy, I'm excited now. I feel like there's a good shot. We're gonna see a picture.

[Jeff]

So this time, I think so.

[Host Brian]

This time they're gonna get their man.

[Jeff]

Billy's gonna get it.

[Host Brian]

He's gonna get it. All right. We'll be back.

[Christina]

Call me. Beat me. If you want to reach me at 212-4333. TC comments, questions, compliments or content ideas that's 212-433-3822. You can also find us on the [e-mail] which is where all of our audio and video lives. So check it out. And then while you're at it, you can follow us on Instagram at the commercial break and on TikTokCBpodcast. That's all for now. So let's have a listen to our sponsors and get back to the show.

[Host Brian]

All right, let's get back into it because I have a feeling they're on. Hot on the trail.

[Brian]

Say the leather to her. But game going our way. They win.

[Jeff]

Driver, snail biting.

[Host Brian]

Yeah. By the way, they're traveling 32 miles per hour in this cart. What? Stay up with him. Is he running down the same trail?

[Jeff]

I mean, honestly, he's running fast.

[Billy]

Oh, there's lots of woods here. But what I'm gonna do is I'm gonna run down the road so you got this kick because you guys can see me clearly. Is that cool? Is that good? You think you can catch up with me? Come on, let's do it.

[Buck]

Man, this is rough.

[Host Brian]

This is rough.

[Brian]

Go, go, go.

[Host Brian]

Yeah. Doesn't look rough to me.

[Jeff]

It looks like a road.

[Host Brian]

Yeah, you're gliding down a road in a. A John Deere tractor.

[Huckleberry]

It's rough in here.

[Brian]

Thick, too.

[Bill]

He ain't got no choice now.

[Brian]

He's an arm.

[Bill]

We're going to get him.

[Huckleberry]

We're going to get him.

[Host Brian]

Oh, yeah. We're going to get him. We're going to get him. We're going get him.

[Brian]

They can't.

[Host Brian]

Can they see him? Because I can.

[Jeff]

I know that they're flashing up this.

[Host Brian]

The thermal camera.

[Jeff]

Thermal camera, which shows nothing. I. I don't know what I'm looking at.

[Host Brian]

It just shows the woods. That's it. I guess the woods are red hot tonight because everything's red on the screen. Damn.

[Brian]

He goes to this camp.

[Huckleberry]

Oh, damn Boone County.

[Brian]

Now, if it was easy, we wouldn't be down. God damn Boone County. God damn Boone County.

[Host Brian]

Boone county is where you're making your bread and butter, kid. You're always in Boone County. Damn Boone.

[Jeff]

They've all got guns, too, and nobody can, like, you know, just point, point, shoot.

[Host Brian]

Yeah, yeah, point and shoot. If you're. If he's close enough to see, he's close enough to shoot, get a dart gun. I mean, wouldn't that be the wise thing here? Get a dart gun, fill it with some good stuff, and just shoot him in the neck. I've Seen it in movies. Ace Ventura, Pet Detective.

[Brian]

No, stay with him. He's going right there. He's still headed that way. Run his ass. They keep showing these.

[Host Brian]

Yeah.

[Brian]

On his ass.

[Billy]

Don't threaten me with a good time. Get up in this ass. Yeah, it's lonely out here for a sea squatch. I'm just letting you know there's not a lot of females, not a lot of single female. She's watching boot camp. So if you guys want to take at it, I'll just bend over, let your ram me for a few minutes. Then basically mutilate you with my teeth. How's that?

[Brian]

Steep down. He's right here. He's right here. What the. This is worse than 50 shades of gray.

[Jeff]

Did they just crash into a dream?

[Brian]

They just crashed into something.

[Host Brian]

Yeah, but they can't. They like.

[Brian]

It was so bad.

[Host Brian]

It was just. You could tell. No one crashed. It was just a camera shaking. This is the worst. I mean it's the best comedy, but it's the worst non fiction show on television. It's clearly fiction.

[Brian]

Crapper and Huckleberry just hit something. We gotta get down, right? Sound like a grenade went off.

[Huckleberry]

Well, we.

[Brian]

We gotta take time to talk to the camera real quick. And we're gonna go rescue our friends.

[Jeff]

I'm gonna do an interview real quick. We're gonna go down there and help them.

[Brian]

We're gonna take the next 30 to 35 minutes to do this cutaway.

[Host Brian]

And we're gonna certainly find out whether our friends are dead or not.

[Jeff]

It sounded like a grenade.

[Host Brian]

Yeah, I'm actually in a hurry. Guys, can I get a sandwich from craft services? Sounded like a grenade.

[Brian]

I'll get down now. What the hell?

[Jeff]

Buck tried to get down the hill.

[Host Brian]

Buck's gonna kill himself on this show. They gotta have a stunt double for Buck. Who is like weighs 180 pounds. Just switch it out because Buck's pants are all the way down around his. Around his thigh. His whole ass is sticking out as he's trying to shuffle down a hill.

[Brian]

Buck, Trevor. Buck, Trevor for Uncle Barry.

[Jeff]

Oh, he's sliding. They're all sliding down their butt.

[Host Brian]

Yeah, that's probably the best idea. That size.

[Jeff]

Probably faster.

[Host Brian]

Probably faster. If you would just roll down like. What was her name in the Willy Wonka movie? Veruca Salt.

[Brian]

Yeah. You okay, Huck?

[Host Brian]

Go.

[Brian]

Down goes Buck. Down goes Buck.

[Jeff]

They're just tripping all over themselves.

[Host Brian]

The medic cost on this production must be huge because everyone's always falling or hurting themselves.

[Jeff]

Remember that one time when it Was a huckleberry that fell into the freezing water?

[Host Brian]

Yes, he. Well, the. The water was coming down on him.

[Jeff]

There was. That was a different one.

[Host Brian]

Oh, no. Yeah, you're right. It was like our first ever mountain monsters. And he fell into a creek and it was freezing.

[Buck]

Man, we just seen you hit something.

[Brian]

Damn. Well, we hit a goddamn tree.

[Host Brian]

We.

[Brian]

We hit a goddamn buck.

[Host Brian]

And don't worry, the golf cart is completely unscathed, but we are profusely bleeding everywhere.

[Brian]

Look at the windshield.

[Bill]

Breathe.

[Host Brian]

Damn.

[Brian]

Trapper.

[Mark]

All right. Huckleberry, you all right?

[Brian]

They're discombobulated. They're all discombobulated. I think these guys might need medical attention right now.

[Host Brian]

But we're in Boone County. Walmart is the closest doctor.

[Brian]

They got their cage.

[Huckleberry]

Right, but that way. He went that way.

[Brian]

Go, go, go.

[Host Brian]

Leave me alone.

[Brian]

Leave them alone.

[Jeff]

There's like broken glass everywhere.

[Host Brian]

Their hair is all discombobulated. Yeah, they can't talk. They're like, in some state of confusion. And then one of. One of the guys who's been in the accident says he went that way, and everyone just starts running away. Don't worry about him. He'll be fine.

[Jeff]

Up the hill. That's a good.

[Buck]

I think that it got mad, it got irritated and it turned. Instead of going to the trap, it went ahead and it just attacked them.

[Host Brian]

Yeah, I'm sure that's exactly what happened. There were cameras on that cart, too. There are literally cameras attached all over that cart. And they didn't catch one shot of being attacked.

[Jeff]

No.

[Host Brian]

Come on. Damn.

[Huckleberry]

He'll just go wham.

[Buck]

You all right, Uncle Barry? Look like you're about to puke.

[Brian]

Well, swallowed my damn tobacco.

[Jeff]

That will make you puke, from what I've heard.

[Host Brian]

Oh, yeah, I've done it. It's when I was in high school and I tried chew right actual chewing tobacco. That's the nastiest in the world. And you better be goddamn close that throat. Don't swallow one bit of it because it's not gonna go down easy. Yeah, it's gross light over there.

[Christina]

Yeah.

[Mark]

All right.

[Bill]

After I got down there and checked on Trapper. Man.

[Host Brian]

God, his eyes look like he's been doing acid for a month. It's crazy. He's got all pupils, no eye.

[Bill]

Wild Bill got over there, picked up on his trail. Let's not lose him.

[Brian]

I can't see nothing where nothing went.

[Bill]

He has to be wounded.

[Brian]

I don't see how in the world something will get through here. Good Lord. He has to be wounded.

[Host Brian]

Your Friends just got into a terrible accident with the Sheepsquatch. The windshield is broken. They're discombobulated. Only no one got wounded. Do you think the Sheepsquatch left in the same way?

[Bill]

About to lose his trail.

[Brian]

We tucked right up all pastor running through there. That thing ain't going through that thick. What you about today is all over the side. We went down to the thing and I got to saw a bug and I went open down the sting.

[Host Brian]

I didn't see a damn thing.

[Brian]

Thick brush. We couldn't even remotely.

[Host Brian]

You know, it would be fun to go on YouTube, watch one of these videos, and put on the closed caption that the AI does and.

[Brian]

Hit right on out of Dodge. It left the patch. We couldn't even keep up with it. Sam, I don't see nothing.

[Narrator]

Look at this.

[Host Brian]

What a man.

[Buck]

You can see the round part of his horn where his horn was right here.

[Jeff]

Wait a minute, wait a minute.

[Host Brian]

This thing is 7ft tall, 800 pounds, and he's showing a circle where he thinks the horn went through. It's the size of a dime. It's the size of a dime. Are you sure you're not just dealing with, like, a really irritated roach? Because this doesn't seem like a thing that big would make such a small dent.

[Narrator]

Yeah.

[Host Brian]

Wow.

[Huckleberry]

I think a single rammed us. I'll tell you exactly what happened. Please do get a choice between the trap and me. He actually turned to fight. He rammed that damn big head and horns right into the front of the side beside.

[Host Brian]

Okay, where is the picture? Where is the photographic evidence? You're with a fucking camera crew. Mic'd up, cameras everywhere, lights in action. All the whole nine yards. Where is the picture?

[Jeff]

It just. It's elusive.

[Host Brian]

I know.

[Bill]

Meanwhile, Bill picked right up on his tracks. It's real thick in there. We made it out about 300 yards. We just couldn't keep up with the trail.

[Brian]

I mean, he just right on around, like, right out of Dodge. I mean, plum out of Dodge.

[Host Brian]

I mean, plum out of Dodge. When's the last time you heard someone say plum out of anything? That's like from a movie in the 60s where they just, like, stereotype Southerners.

[Brian]

Well, I'm plumb out of cheesecake, honey.

[Host Brian]

I'm plum out of cobbler.

[Jeff]

Plum out of Dodge.

[Host Brian]

We are plum out of plums today.

[Brian]

Slow him down none. I mean, he must be one tough hombre.

[Host Brian]

You're assuming he's Mexican. That's pretty racist there, buddy. Oh, Bray, this critter is big.

[Brian]

He's agile and he.

[Host Brian]

He's mean.

[Jeff]

Very agile.

[Host Brian]

Yeah, he's very agile. He's. You guys, he's right there. But you can't catch up with him. He's everywhere. But you can't get a photograph of him. He's dancing all over the place. But no one seems to shoot him. It's just. I mean, come on, guys. Yeah, I understand this has been going on for whatever, 12 seasons. And you've never once in that I know of, photographed or had any evidence that any of these things exist. Like hard evidence. Except for, you know, tree markings and a dent. And some guy got, you know, I got a hit. Scat. But you don't take that to a scientist or doctor or NASA or somebody who can test that shit. What you do is you just keep filming. Just keep yelling.

[Brian]

He tore up jack, didn't he?

[Buck]

The sheep squatch roar is just as bizarre as the creature itself. We heard that thing and it just shook the whole hauler.

[Brian]

Listen, listen.

[Host Brian]

The whole hauler.

[Brian]

Get down to the holler. Get down to the creek, boys. Get that down to that creek.

[Narrator]

It's a killer and it's dangerous and it's to be feared.

[Host Brian]

But it didn't kill us, Nor did it try to eat us or anything of the sort.

[Brian]

This thing turned and challenged us and attacked us. He took his horn and run it right through the windshield right at him.

[Host Brian]

He took a dime and threw it at us.

[Brian]

This thing is dangerous.

[Buck]

This windshield ain't going.

[Jeff]

That's why this crack team of monster hunters that are all like approaching 70, probably.

[Host Brian]

Yeah. Except for Huck and Buck. His body probably is 70, but his age is probably less. And they'll just find a new huckleberry when this one ages out. They'll just get a new huckleberry at similar age. I think each huckleberry lasts about a season.

[Bill]

What happened?

[Buck]

I come running over that hill and I busted the cross plumb out of my bridges.

[Jeff]

Oh, he did.

[Brian]

Oh. Oh.

[Host Brian]

Whoa.

[Jeff]

Pants are ripped.

[Host Brian]

What?

[Jeff]

I didn't want to see that.

[Host Brian]

No, I didn't either. I think I saw some dangling part of there, didn't you? So Buck's pants ripped because he's a big boy. And at some point, going down that hill where they got into the car accident, he slid down on his butt because the walking wasn't doing it for him. And then even while sliding, he still managed to tumble down. His pants are ripped open in the front down one leg. And they just showed a shot where you can see his white boxers and his dangling Participles.

[Buck]

It's a good thing I have on my long underwear. You ought to be seeing more than what you bargained for.

[Brian]

Don't make me laugh at her.

[Host Brian]

This is the funny part of the show.

[Brian]

Oh, that's funny.

[Jeff]

Oh, forget about that old sheep.

[Host Brian]

Forget about that old sheep squash.

[Jeff]

We're fine.

[Host Brian]

Let's look at my balls.

[Jeff]

Look at my torn.

[Host Brian]

Let's look at the real monster in this situation.

[Brian]

My mammoth.

[Huckleberry]

Yes, sir, sheep. Squatch has to be hurt. I think we were. Take it easy, Huckleberry. I bet that son of a is dinged up worse than I am. I bet he's up there someplace pulling trapper out of his ass.

[Narrator]

You all right there, buddy?

[Mark]

Yeah.

[Huckleberry]

All right.

[Host Brian]

He's up there somewhere pulling Trapper out of his ass.

[Jeff]

What does that even mean?

[Host Brian]

I don't know.

[Jeff]

But also, is he now able to just jump?

[Host Brian]

Yes.

[Jeff]

Up there.

[Host Brian]

Yeah, he's up there.

[Jeff]

He's gone up.

[Host Brian]

Scampered up the tree like a bear.

[Huckleberry]

Take care of him, Buck.

[Buck]

I got him.

[Huckleberry]

The sheep squash may not be in our trap, but I know for sure he's in.

[Host Brian]

Boom.

[Brian]

Salmon. Cow killing bastard.

[Host Brian]

Once again, we don't get proof, but we get comedy. There you go.

[Christina]

Dang it. Squandered again. Those pesky monsters. I guess we'll just have to wait and see if they they catch something next time. Speaking of next time, Brian should be back and hopefully healing by our next episode. So once again, send him some well wishes and good vibes because he's gonna need them to get through another week of a yappin here at the commercial break. So send us a text or leave us a voicemail at 212-4333, TCB. That's 212-433-3822 if you've got some something to say, you know, maybe like, wow, Christina did a great job on these episodes. She's so cool and also fun. You know, just something like that. You can also follow us on Instagram at the commercial break and slide on into our DMs there or on TikTok where our handle ISCB podcast. And as always, you can also check out our website tcbpodcast.com for more information on the podcast Brian and Chrissy or to demand a free sticker. All right, that is everything I have to say, so my time here is up. Thank you for listening and I'm sorry for all the possum talk over the last week. Bye.

[Brian]

Sam.