Transcript
Brian Green (0:00)
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Chris Hoadley (1:00)
You walk in tired and hungry, one bad dinner away from losing it.
Brian Green (1:05)
You don't like to cook.
Chris Hoadley (1:06)
You don't want more takeout. You just want something good.
Brian Green (1:09)
That's why there's dish by Blue Apron.
Chris Hoadley (1:11)
Pre made meals with at least 20 grams of protein and no artificial flavors or colors. From fridge to fork in five minutes or less. Keep the flavor, ditch the subscription. Get Get 20% off your first two orders with code APRON20. Terms and conditions apply. Visit blueapron.com terms for more.
WFUCU Board Member (1:30)
We interrupt your regularly scheduled programming to bring you an FUCU On Air Update. I will now read a letter from the WFUCU Board of Directors. Dear FUCU viewers, It has come to our attention that on Thursday night's episode of the Late Night with Crabs show, a joke was made regarding the alleged size and or circumference of the Mayor of Crabapple's manhood. As the Board of Directors of Crabapple's number one local TV station, we take our responsibilities to journalism seriously. We will not stand for any jokes, satire or otherwise mischaracterizations of the Mayor's manhood. We would like to formally apologize to the Mayor and his manhood. His manhood is the biggest in all the land and we here at WFUCU can verify this simply by looking in the general direction of his inguinal region. Furthermore, any jokes made about his ping pang will be edited out of future reruns of the episode in question. We will also be running a 24.7ticker at the bottom of your screen with a measuring tape so all viewers in Crabapple can see just how big the mayor's little soldier is. In addition to these actions, we will now be preempting the late night with crabs. And in its place, we will be running backto back episodes of the mayor's favorite movie. Dude, where is my car? We would also like to take this opportunity to offer our sincere condolences to any viewers whose feelings were injured by these jokes. All viewers who have been injured will now be offered a free ruler cut to the exact size of the mayor's broomstick so that they can show their friends and family when asked. We hope this will offer some comfort during these difficult times. We simply will not stand idly by and allow our airwaves to be used for any free speech that the mayor does not like himself. This is, of course, Crabapple, the land of the almost free and the home of the not so brave. Freedom of speech will now be limited on our station to accommodate the feelings of a few who great big men whose menhood are surely unrivaled in the history of all manhood. Thank you for your attention to this matter. We will be back after this commercial break.