
EP907: Bryan goes back to the gym to accosted by the team at Crunch fitness. They say fitness is pain ....Bryan is a glutton for punishment !
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A
Foreign. Hey, Gary, how you doing? Great.
B
You're coming in for a little. What are you gonna do? You can go 5, 5, 5, 3, 2, 1. You're still fat. Workout. What are you, what is that you were doing? You wanna, you wanna actually put out some muscle there?
A
Of course.
B
You're looking the same.
A
No, Gary, I think I'm just gonna go and gonna go, you know, hit the treadmill and then, you know, do my 666.
B
666. That's what it was. Six minutes trying to get a six pack after you eat six bowls of cereal and cream. Doesn't work that way, Brian. But we'll air for you whenever you're ready to. The next episode of the commercial break starts now.
A
Oh yeah. Cats and kittens, welcome back to the commercial break. I'm Brian Greene. This is my dear friend and the co host of this show, Kristen Joy only. Best to you, Kristen.
C
Best to you Bryant, and best to
A
you out there in the podcast universe. There we are. Hey now. Ho now. How you doing, proud cow? Sorry about that. I don't know what happened.
C
I don't know.
A
I had it on the wrong camera. Yeah, I was trying to run it through my iPhone camera. Anyway, best to you, best of you in the podcast of streaming universe. Thanks for joining us. People jumping into the chat. Yesterday was a lively chat. So YouTube.com the commercial break usually on Tuesdays, sometimes on Wednesdays, Thursdays around 1pm Just depends on our schedule. But if you hit that subscribe button on YouTube and you turn on the notifications, it'll let you know when we go live. We usually hit the live button about five minutes before we go on. So give you plenty of time to go to the bathroom, pop your popcorn, cut your toenails and get in. All right. And best of you also. Hey, so yesterday we talked about the Gary the dolphin, Gerard. Gerald. Gerald the dolphin.
C
Gerald, yes, yes, yes.
A
Gerald the dolphin. And I will tell you what, I got a bunch of, not a bunch, but like four DMs in my Instagram saying the day had also fallen for the story of Gerald the dolphin. They were like, something seemed off. I'm glad you told that story. And I'm like just do a little bit of research. Just a little bit of research.
C
You gotta do a little fact checking.
A
Yeah. And then it. So then today another story comes up. Okay. There is a MAGA influencer online. Her name is Jessica Foster. She is a soldier. She is a beautiful blonde woman. She is, she posts a lot of right leaning content. She's in the Army. She posts a lot of right leaning content. A lot of content with her in her uniform. She's out on the battlefield. She's meeting multiple times in the Oval Office with President Trump. She was at President Trump's Board of Peace whole speech the other day, giving a little talk. She's doing a lot of stuff. Like she's obvious, she's out and about. She's a, she's a player, she's an operator, she's moving in and out, all this other stuff. And she has an only fans account that is free to subscribe to where she shows pictures of her feet.
C
Oh, okay. The back to the feet.
A
This is getting these. She's got a million followers, hundreds of thousands of views on each of her posts. Hundreds of thousands of likes. I saw a post today at 187,000 likes on one of her Instagram posts. I'll tell you what, that's an accomplishment that's hard to do. You really have to be moving the needle. And then the comments galore. A lot of them from people, all of them from men, Every single one of them from men. Most of them, and I'll say a majority of them from people who do not speak English. They're speaking in a different language. But there are her fair share. I'd probably say 30, 40% of those comments are clearly from older white men that are enthralled with Donald Trump and they love that she's at the Oval Office with him, Melania, all these other people. Right. And her foot account on OnlyFans is getting sometimes thousands of. Not subscriptions, but donations. Tips.
C
Sure.
A
Some of those pictures are getting thousands of dollars worth of tips every time she posts.
C
There's a whole foot thing.
A
Yes, from guys. The same guys who are commenting on her Instagram and her TikTok. This girl is taking the world by storm. Jessica Foster.
C
Cross promotion.
A
Little cross promotion. There is only one problem. Jessica is not real. She does not exist. She does not exist. She is not real. She is completely AI. She is 100% manufactured in the mind of some perverted yahoos.
B
Wow.
A
Probably not even living in this country. Who is manufacturing her and making money and making tons of money off of unsuspecting dupes who are just willing to. To do, say, pay anything to align with some kind of ideology and also feet. So it's.
C
Yes.
A
Listen, that could be fudgeing. I don't know who, who was? I. I was a fan of John McCain. I like John McCain. Remember him?
C
I do, yeah.
A
John McCain, all right. Went to war for this country.
C
Prisoner of war.
A
Prisoner of war for years. Tortured the whole nine yards. Came back, served his country as a senator, was willing to say the hard things, was a gentleman. You remember that famous moment when he was running against Obama and the lady said, you know, Barack Obama is a terrorist or whatever he said. And he said, no, ma', am. No, ma', am, we're not going to do that. That's not true.
C
I do remember that.
A
And we're not going to do that. We're not going to talk about, you know, you don't have to vote for him, but we're not going to talk about. Gentlemen. And it's gone. Oh, the good old days, man, how I reminisce. I'm just an old man reminiscing about when it was, the things that used to happen. Anyway, I don't care if John fucking McCain was alive today and selling holy water that he bathed in. I would not just unsuspectingly start buying stuff because people aligned with John McCain. Yeah, you got to do your homework, kids. You got to do your homework. You have to understand that in this day and age, it's all a fucking grift. Even the real people, the Donald Trump's, the Don Juniors, that whatever, they're all grifting. They're all grifting. Remember we talked about Ki, the Kalshi markets and how $500 million worth of money went into KI to bet on whether or not, yes, we would attack Iran in this particular. Before this particular date, which happened to be Saturday, it happened on Friday. $500 million went in hours before they announced that they were attacking Iran. And guess what? I can guarantee you that is just the kind of grift that is, that is just perpetual in this, in our fucking everything today. Everything. Yesterday, yesterday, Donald Trump was on stage in, I think it was Ohio. Oh, no, Kentucky. He was in Kentucky. He was doing a rally. You know, he likes to go out there and do his rallies, get his people all pumped up. You know, all the people behind him, the, like they fell off the turnip truck. They're all standing there. One poor lady passed out. I don't know if you saw. Do you see that? She passed out. And Don said, is there a doctor in the house? And then he said, take your time, take your time, take your time. Pop back up. So he's. So he's doing that. And guess who showed up. Guess who showed up. Jake Paul, the wannabe boxer with a broken jaw who's making billions and billions of dollars on whatever water he's about
C
something here in Georgia.
A
He did. Yeah, he bought. He's a large. He bought the largest single piece of. It's like the largest land transaction in 100 years or whatever. He bought thousands of acres down in South Georgia of low country, swamp land. I don't know what he's going to do with it, but, you know, hey, listen, to have land is, you know, land.
C
They're not making more of it.
A
They're not making more of it. I don't know why you'd want to buy that particular piece of land. Maybe you just feel like you can build a house in the middle of it.
C
Commune. Yeah.
A
Yeah. Full of ayahuasca. Taking wannabe MMA fighters. Yes. Okay. All right. That's good.
C
Mike Tyson can come visit.
A
Yeah. It's all a fucking grift, man. You gotta be careful. There's stories about dolphins, there's fake soldiers, There's Jake Paul trying to sell you deodorant. It's. It's all out there. It's a good time to be alive. Yeah.
C
It's just so much easier not to research, you know?
A
It is. And that's. There's the point, right? It's easier to believe than to research. And this is a real challenge. And I. I gotta teach. I'm teaching and teach my children critical thinking because the other day, one of my kids, you know, sometimes I scroll on Instagram. You know, the kids are sitting next to me and I scroll on Instagram on my. On my safe account because, you know, one of my accounts is all bikini pictures, but on one of my safe accounts, I scroll. And it's a lot of family related stuff. Instagram knows I'm. I'm a dad. And so it's a lot of family related stuff. And there was a story about a dog who got lost and then he walked 7,000 miles to get with his cat friend to find the owner. And one of the kids was like, wow, that's crazy. That really happened. And I go, it did not really happen. It's just a story. And he said, no, there's a dog. Look, it's real. This is not like a cartoon. It's real. And I go, it is a cartoon. That's the problem. The cartoons today are real. They look real, but they're not real. And you're going to have to learn somehow, some way. And I know it's going to be really difficult to decipher between real and not real moving forward in this brand new world. And I don't even know how to Teach them that kind of critical thinking. Yeah, you're just going to have to. But if you look at Jessica's pictures, this soldier that we were talking about, if you look at her pictures, you can see that like, sometimes the American Flag has, like 12 stars, you know, or the stripes are misaligned, or, you know, something in the background doesn't add up, or one of her eyeballs is twitching. Like, if you look, you can clearly see that something is afoot. You just don't know really what it is and you have to go do your homework. I found it to be suspicious. I read the story first before I found her Instagram, so I already knew.
C
Well, I thought they were supposed to have some kind of, you know, AI generated message. Yeah, a lot of this stuff.
A
Yeah, that's Facebook. Yeah, Facebook is doing anything about anything. They're not. They're not doing anything about anything. As a matter of fact. Now, meta's, Meta glasses. The Facebook glasses just rolled out in beta testing, the ability to do facial recognition anywhere in the world to anybody. In other words, you're wearing your meta glasses, you've got them popped on and you're looking at somebody. Medican identify who they are and give you information about that.
C
That is wild.
A
Too much.
C
So scary.
A
Too fucking much. Now. Now we're outed, Chrissy, we're never going to be able to go anywhere again. People are going to be like Brian Green, the commercial break. Yeah. You owe crunch fitness$36.
C
Have you been back?
A
I have. I have been back. I have been back. And, and there was. I think I've been back like four or five times there. Most of those times unaccosted, unmolested.
C
Okay.
A
But one of those times it was again with the same. What was his name? Can't remember the guy's name now. What was his name? Brad.
C
Now he found you again.
A
Chad. Brad. Gary. Was it Gary? I think it was Gary.
C
Gary.
A
Yeah, I think it was Gary. Hey, Gary, how you doing? Great.
B
You're coming in for a little. What are you gonna do? The 5, 5, 5, 3, 2, 1, you're still fat workout. What do you. What is that you were doing? You wanna. You wanna actually put on some muscle there? You're looking the same.
A
No, Gary, I think I'm just gonna go and gonna go, you know, hit the treadmill and then, you know, do my 666.
B
That's what it was. Six minutes trying to get a six pack after you eat six bowls of cereal and cream. Doesn't work that way, Brian. But we'll hear for you. Whenever you're ready to start actually working up, you let us know. I got a whole team of people here just waiting for you. Look at us. You want to look like this or you want to look like this? Whatever that is. Okay, talk to you later.
A
All right, thanks, Gary. Appreciate it.
B
No problem. You don't mind if we put you up on the TV as an example of what not to do?
C
Of the before.
B
Yeah. Before. Still before.
A
Before.
C
6. 6. After 6. 6.
B
6, 6, 6.
A
Before.
B
Doing it on your own. Still doing it on your own. It's a great. It's a great sales pitch. We've actually signed up like six people since you came in. Can you go by the window on the treadmill so that I can point to you? See that guy? That's what happens when you don't buy the extra packages.
A
Thanks, Gary. Appreciate it. No problem.
B
What are you gonna do for lunch? Probably not avocados. Just say it.
D
Tuna.
C
Avocado. That's the Frankie.
B
Yeah, that's my method, too. What's your method? Six donuts, six Coca Colas, and six double cheeseburgers. It's working.
A
Whatever.
B
Is that dad bod? You're going for dad bod plus. That's what I call it. Dad bod plus 50 plus. Dad bod plus zero. You have zero shake, friend. That's an interesting body type you have. What is that? Is that. What do they call that bubble belly?
C
The pear. Yeah.
B
You look like an avocado. You look like a two week old avocado. Small up here, big down there. How do you have so many curves but no butt? How did that happen? Are you doing workouts to get your butt smaller? Because usually you're trying to do the other way. Anyway, go back to your 666 and we'll be here up front laughing at you. I mean. I mean, talking. Yeah. Cheer you on with our cameras out. Talk to you soon. Brian, good to see you back. You want to go in the tanning bed? Because nothing says healthy like working out incorrectly, coming inconsistently, eating terribly, and then going into the tanning dump. You are a picture of hell. Who's your. Who's your health advisor? Robert Kennedy junior. Okay, talk to you later.
A
Bye, Gary. You love that guy. Love that guy. I keep going, he keeps busting my balls.
C
Exactly. Has it slowed down any at all in there?
A
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
C
January, it's packed. February, pretty packed.
A
March.
C
Okay, here we go.
B
Well, I don't know if you noticed, but the other three people I introduced You.
C
You are gone.
B
Back doing Uber Eats.
C
Yes.
B
We don't have anybody in here.
C
Yeah.
B
So I'm gonna get you because I need you to keep my job. All right.
A
Yeah, it slowed down considerably. Considerably. It was packed the first couple of weeks and now not so much. But. But, hey, listen, I. I didn't go last week either because, I mean, I had things to do, but I didn't go last week either. It's just kind of the thing. You get all excited and motivated.
C
Course.
A
But, you know, a habit is a habit, and it can go one way or the other. You can either have a habit to go every day, or you can have a habit to sleep in and feel much better about yourself.
C
Well, since the time change, things have been a little. I've been a little off this week.
A
God, the time change kills the kids. You know, you used to be able to get them to bed at least the youngest one at 7pm and now it's more like 8:30. Because not only is it the time change, it's the sun shining outside.
C
Yeah, I enjoy it. I enjoy the later, longer.
A
Love it. But love, love, love it. And it was perfect for the wedding, by the way, because. Oh, yeah, then the wedding could happen under this beautiful sunlight that wasn't like super beating down on you. It was raining anyway, but it was cloudy. But then when the clouds went away, right as the reception was getting kicking, the sun was going down over this beautiful estuary, this marsh down there in. On Amelia Island. And that just generated the most beautiful sunset you've ever seen. I mean, everyone saw it at the same time because everyone was eating. And then mass exodus out to the balcony or the porch to go see it. To go see it. And everyone was taking pictures and it was just perfect.
C
I love that.
A
Yeah. One of my daughters put her hand out. It looked like the sun was on the. Oh, I'll show it to you. Yeah, it was really, really pretty. Anyway. All right, well, we have so much more fun for you today. I don't know what that is, but, you know, if you take a break, I'll figure it out. Yeah, that's how we roll here at the commercial break.
C
Yes.
A
Why plan when you can just talk?
C
It's called improv.
A
Improv. We're going to improv this break. We'll be back.
D
Hey, it's Rachel, your new voice of God here on tcb. And just like you, I'm wondering just how much longer this podcast can continue. Let's all rejoice that another episode has made it to your ears. And I'll rejoice that my check is in the mail. Speaking of mail, get your free TCB sticker in the mail by going to tcbpodcast.com and visiting the contact us page. You can also find the entire commercial break library audio and video, just in case you want to look at chrissy@tcbpodcast.com. want your voice to be on an episode of the show? Leave us a message at 212-4333, TCB. That's 212-433-3822. Tell us how much you love us and we'll be sure to let the world know on a future episode. Or you could make fun of us. That'd be fine, too. We might not air that, but maybe. Oh, and if you're shy, that's okay. Just send a text. We'll respond. Now I'm gonna go check the mailbox for payment while you check out our sponsors. And then we'll return to this episode of the commercial break.
A
Best to you. Best to you. Best to you. Best to you. Oh, man. Is this new season synthesizer boo dude is synthesizing this new season of Love is Blind. Well, I have not watched. It is certainly generating a lot of.
C
That's what you said hadoodle. I'm still moratorium on it. I am not going.
A
I'm not doing it. No, no, no. I'm not doing it. They've already done the reunion and everything.
C
Oh, okay.
A
It's gone. It's a big see you later. Yeah, because they'll put out another one in two weeks. Yeah, but this one seems to have more drama than usual. There's a lot of. These guys are real douchebags, but that is because the producers know exactly who they're looking for. Now they're ten seasons into this. Or what? I said eight seasons into it. They know exactly what they're. And they're not looking for normal, regular human beings that date. They're looking for crazy people who can generate drama. And then they. They choose a producer who's a master at getting bullshit out of their mouths, and then they follow them along the journey. That is how it works.
C
Did anybody get married, do you know?
A
I don't think anybody got married this time. Yeah. Again, let's see here. Love is Blind marriages. Season eight, right?
C
I guess.
A
Oh, one did.
C
Oh, one.
A
Yeah. Okay. One did. Taylor and Daniel. I don't know who those are. Everybody else said no. Everybody else said no. So Love is Blind has now become just an experiment and who can get famous faster On Love is Blind. Okay, if that's. If that is what it is. That is what it is. But the show needs to become self aware. Don't try and be this altruistic, pious bullshit about how, you know, you're putting people behind the curtain and trying to make them love each other without seeing each other, because it never works the way you want it to. And even the one couple out of all the seasons that I thought that's it, that's the true example of how love is not blind. The very rich, beautiful girl that married the country bumpkin, got tall, country bumpkin guy that clearly were a mismatch from the beginning physically, but they really seem to love each other. Otherwise they got married, they had a kid, they got divorced. There you go. It's all over.
C
There's another couple from the very first
A
season that did, and they have kids.
C
They do too.
A
Yeah. And the other couple who has. Who has produced the only tear I've ever shed over Love is Blind was the one. The couple, the guy, he had two choices. He chose the one that everyone was like, no, don't choose her. But he chose her. And at the honeymoon, I don't remember this guy, kind of nerdy dude, weird, quirky personality, and he chose her. And then they realized very quickly they weren't for each other. So they left the honeymoon and then he found the other girl out in the real world. Found her.
C
Oh, that's right.
A
And then, remember, they had the. You know, if you get a chance of not taking. If you sit it out or dance, just dance. Remember, they got married. And there's the song that his mother used to sing to him. She had died and the whole fucking world is sobbing profusely because he found his real love. That was a true love story for the ages on reality tv. And I. And Astrid and I were sobbing like children, like everybody else was in that particular scene. It was the best use of music that Love Is Blind has had. And the best couple that they produced. They are still together, but I just refuse to watch it.
C
Now I'm picturing the one. What was the one season where the girl, like, jumped. They jumped on the jet ski and went off into the, like, the lake.
A
Oh, y. Like, everybody's like, what? It's like I'm just driving a jiu jitsu and fingering my girl. Fingering your girlfriend? What's wrong with that? What's wrong with that? It was the whole fucking premises.
C
They need to scrap it.
A
Yeah.
C
They need to start over, get something new.
A
I think they're signed through season 10. If I'm not mistaken though, season 10's the last one for sure. They'll go to 10 seasons and then that'll be it. But it's a big hit around the world too.
C
Yeah, they've got all the other countries.
A
Yeah, they have all those franchises that Nick and Vanessa are one.
C
I watched like the English one.
A
I think I watched the Japanese one but.
C
You did okay.
A
Japanese don't make for great reality television shows. They're just not a very dramatic culture. And so like little tiny slights were, were like, you know, dun dun, dun dun. And it was like she didn't say hello. Is that what she didn't say hello?
C
Right. Different customs.
A
Different customs, different cultures. Weird. The German one is full of beautiful people. I saw, I think it was German one. Amsterdam, whatever. I saw that one that was like clear. It's like married at first sight versus married at first sight Australia. Married at first sight. Here they're making an effort to get people together that actually will get married and have a long term relationship. Married at first sight Australia. Fucking put a bunch of beautiful drunk people in a room and watch them fight and film it at every angle and cut it on the cutting room floor. Put it on the cutting room floor and that's what they do. And that. I don't even know if that's still around. Remember?
C
Yeah, we had the girl on.
A
We keep saying our first interview was Vir Das, but that's not true. Our very first interview, first interview was Michelle. Michelle from Love is Blind Australia.
C
Yeah, you were dming with her and then she agreed to come on. That was back when we weren't even in the studio together.
A
Not very often.
C
I remember being at like my, like my bar stool.
A
Well, we did it at night, I think is why. Yeah, we did it at night because she was in Australia. It was like 9 o' clock at night. But we were in that studio down there. We had that very like. That was first season, first 40 episodes.
C
Yeah.
A
And we were with her for like two hours. I think. We were talking to her for a long time and she was great. We loved her. And her whole storyline was up because she was dating like this older guy. She was older. He was much. He was older than her. He was like in his 50s and he couldn't get it up or something.
C
He wouldn't sleep with her.
A
And she was like, just bang me. And he's like, I don't want to. And then he got upset because he, he heard our interview. Remember this is A couple on Love is Blind Australia. You go back and listen to this. It's Michelle I married first sight. Married at first. Michelle. Maths. Australia. I remember maths.
C
Yeah. Was she. Was that like the first season?
A
It was. No, season four.
C
Oh, okay.
A
Michelle. Karen. And she was in a relationship with Steve. Michelle was 48 years old. Steve, I believe, was 54 years old. Something like that. And so they were the older couple in the group, but they had a lot of the drama because Michelle was into Steve. Steve seemingly was into Michelle, but he refused to sleep with her, make out with her, do anything with her. And people were like, dude, she's pretty. Why don't you, like, just give it a go? Like, you guys are in your 40. What are you.
C
Right?
A
Not saving it for marriage. Like, go for it. Have a little fun. See if it works out. This is a whole storyline that unfolded, and Michelle got angrier and angrier through as the season went on. And Steve just tried to play it like he was, you know, cool. But then everybody started assuming that he had boner problems. Right. And so Chrissy and I talked to Michelle for, like, two hours about this, and we go down that road. Well, what Michelle knew, but we didn't talk about on the interview is that I was also DMing with Steve. Oh, yeah. And so I tried to get Steve to come on after Michelle, and he said, interview Michelle first. Let's see how it goes, and then, you know, maybe we'll talk to it. I'm trying to, like, put this behind me, but, you know, it was a huge hit here in the United States, so I don't. I think he was nervous about it. So the interview aired, and instantaneously, he wrote me this long note, like, hey, dude, really? You're busting on me about boner problems? Like, you don't even know me. I don't have boner problems. And I said, steve, what this? It's a fucking interview on a podcast. What do you want me to do? Come on and talk about it. If you don't have boner problems, tell me online. Tell me. No, he didn't. No, Steve didn't do that. Whatever happened to Steve? Where's Steve now?
C
He's in Sydney or whatever he is.
A
Lives filmed in, like, I think. Let's see here. It was filmed in 2020, so during the pandemic.
C
Right.
A
So Steve would be 60 almost now. So he's. I hope he found somebody that's cool. I'm sure he still listens to the show.
C
Yeah. Oh, yeah. Every episode.
A
And then and then I'm trying, but let's take a. Let's take a. Travel back to the early times. Remember Dean? Dean. The Dean was the dog.
C
Oh, Dean and the dog.
A
Dean and the dog, yes. Dean was this guy who would put out an episode, a podcast episode that was 30 minutes long, six times a day. He loved the commercial break. Always be talking about us. And his name was like Dean Wein, or not Dean Wein, but Dean and the Bean or something. And he had his dog and he would go on and he would pop on YouTube and he'd do these 30 minute episodes multiple times a day. And he was just going for it. And there'd be like six viewers. I mean, it wasn't a lot, right? But he would. He loved the commercial break. And so I think one time. Didn't we have him on the show for that?
C
I think we did. We did, yeah. We talked to him.
A
What happened to Dean? Dean? Wow. The old days. The good old days. Those were the good old days. We had no fucking clue what we were doing. Can't say we're much better than that at it now. But hey, listen, we're here. We're still here.
C
It was the Wild West. We were. We were what? What's the word? Breaking through.
A
Bodhi. Dean and Bodie. Dean and Bode. That's right. Let's see if Dean and Bode are still doing their thing. Hold on. Dean and that dog was cute. That dog was cute. Bode the dog. He had that song, remember?
C
It was catchy.
A
Bodie, Bodie, Bodie, Bodie. It's the Dean and Bodie show. Dean and Bode show. The Dean. How do you spell Bodie? B, O, D, Y, right?
C
B O, D I.
A
B O, D, I. The Dean, The Dean Bode Show. That's what it was. The Dean. It's the Dean Bode Show. Oh, my God. Sorry, guys, but I gotta get to the bottom of this now. I'm obsessing.
C
Well, you were at the time too.
A
Wow. I'm even wondering if it's ever working. Cause I can't hear anything anymore. It went from this noise. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. To like nothing. I got like a stealth fridge.
C
Is that his latest?
A
That's his latest and greatest. Is he still doing this? He seems to be doing shorts now. He was on nine months ago, he's on 11 months ago. He's on a year ago. He's on three years ago. The Dean Bode Show. The Dean Bode podcast. He has more subscribers on his channel than we do on Ours. You.
C
Well, it's the dog.
A
It's the dog. Yeah, it's the dog. One year ago. He was doing it one year ago. Okay, let's see.
C
All right, well, this one.
A
That is why. Yeah, I got the Shamalama Shama Lama Ding Dong. Shamalama Ding Dong.
C
The name of our episode.
A
That's right. Fascinating. Fascinating podcasting, Dean. I'd like to see you've evolved over the years, singing sham of lavender to open the show. It's got one view that's just better than some of our episodes, I'll say that. No shade.
C
Dean.
A
Hey, if you're still out there listening, we love you, buddy.
C
Yeah, we're still here for you.
A
It's the Dean and Bodhi show.
C
People were getting wild back.
A
People were getting wild. That's right. I talked to him. I remembered we need to hang out. Blue. I'll bring Blue in here. You want me to bring Blue in here? Next segment. I'll bring Blue.
C
We need to.
A
Okay, we'll bring her in. I'll. Let me go get her. Let me go wrangle her up from whatever nonsense.
C
Set her on the table right there.
A
Yeah. I don't know if she'll sit on the table. We could try. We could try to sit around. She can't get down, so she'll just stay there. Yeah. Wow. That's the beginning of this show. You just think about it. And we're rounding close to a thousand episodes. That's really insane to think about. Hey, shout out. To shout out. I just want to share something that I'm very proud of and I'm excited about. My wife will be starting her own podcast in Spanish with some of her friends very soon. Give it a month, I think. Yeah. It's a very big announcement. We're all very excited about it.
C
It's hu.
A
The planning stages, but it looks like they're getting serious about it. I'm gonna help them with, you know, their equipment and production and stuff like that. They won't record it here because the commercial break sign to do something with, but her and some of her friends who are all Spanish speaking, are going to do a little Cheese May, what they call a gossip show. So, yeah, it's going to be a lot of fun. And if you speak Spanish, I will for sure let you know how to find it when it comes out. But I just. She was doing a little planning about it this morning, and I just. I'm very proud of her. I'm very excited.
C
Oh, my gosh.
A
For someone that's Terribly shock.
C
Yes.
A
This is a big deal, but she's excited. She wants to do it, so good for her. I think after six years of watching me do it, you know?
C
Right.
A
She feels like I can do so much better than that, and she probably can. Will it. Will it hurt Brian's ego if Astrid's show does better than mine? Probably. Then I'll just go work for that show.
C
Right.
A
Then I'll just go be the host of that show.
C
Now you and I will be the Nick and Vanessa.
A
Yeah, the Nick and Vanessa of the love is. We'll walk in every couple of minutes and we'll say something in English. Now, girls, settle down. You have husbands. Have no clue what you're talking about. All right, See you later. Yeah, yeah. So Astrid. Astrid and company will soon be doing
C
I love this so much show.
A
All right, so why don't you give us two and two, and I'll put on and let me go see if I can wrangle blue and we'll. We'll. We'll see if we can show her, too. We'll see if she can stay still for 15 minutes during a segment. I doubt it, but you never know.
C
We'll try.
A
We'll try. All right, we'll be back.
D
Let me do something Brian has never done.
A
Be brief.
D
Follow us on Instagram at the commercial break. Text or call us 212-4333, tcb. That's 212-433-3822. Visit our website tcbpodcast.com for all the audio, video, and your free sticker. Then watch all the videos@your YouTube.com the commercial break and finally share the show. It's the best gift you could give a few aging podcasters. See, Brian, that really wasn't that difficult, now, was it? You're welcome.
E
I saw you in then the VIP bottle service in Hennessy. My heart went crazy, it skipped a beat I thought that you could be with me? I walk over to you, we lock eyes? You're my wife and I realize you're with my friend and it's no surprise watching you two makes my flag rise. I have a cut, cut, crush on you. I have a cut, cut, crush on you? I hide in the closet, let you do what you do. I have a cut, cut, crush on you. So, baby, grab your phone, start to swipe? We need to spend some time getting it right. I don't want you to be alone tonight? I want you to cheat without a fight. When you're in the bed with my favorite guy I hide Myself and try not cry I love you lady but I won't lie My therapist even wonders why I have a cut cut crush on you I have a cut cut crush on you I hide in the closet let you do what you do I have a cut cut crush on you. Grab a man and let's paint the town I'll stay in the corner and watch it all go down I promise not to make a sound while you a neighbor ground and pound it's so lovely to be your man I can't do what the other guys can but when you're happy I feel grand he can be your lion, I'll be your lamb I have a cut, cut crush on you I have a cut cut crush on you I hide in the closet let you do what you do I have a cut cut crush on you I have a cut cut crush on you I hide in the closet let you do what you do
A
I
E
have a cut cut crush on you
A
I love to watch it get scre.
E
Crush on you I just love watching dudes. I have a cut cut crush on
A
you I just love watching dudes. There's Blue. There you go. There she is in all her glory. That's the one you hear every single episode of the commercial break. Little Yorkie.
C
This little girl.
A
Little mangy little mutt. Yeah, mangy little mutt. But she's not very little, is she? She's like a 22 pound yorkie. What you got? You got all that fat in there. There you go. We were talking about Bodega. I was with Chipper today, Chipper at Starbucks. And Lance is trying to figure out how he posts. I told him, I said, you got to post Chipper. If you post Chipper, she'll get views. Right? And we were trying to figure out how to post. Just ignore her. And I think she'll. She'll probably later.
C
Yeah,
A
he wants to make like a. An Instagram account.
C
Oh, yeah.
A
So that he could put Chipper on there and that Chipper could get lots of views. Because you know those puppy accounts, they go crazy.
C
Oh, I know, right?
A
If I could get Blue to sit still for one second, I'd probably take some pictures of her. And you know, the truth is, like, if Blue is with you and she's in a calm mood and everybody else in the room is calm, this is the Blue you love. The blue that just lays there, sits there, hangs out. But this is not the Blue you get. 90% of the time. 90% of the time, she's chasing you around, going crazy. Look she's looking for a way out of here. She's like, fuck this. Where's the food?
C
Yeah. What am I doing up here?
A
Okay, lay down, Blue. It's okay. Lay down. You don't have to do anything, dog. We're not asking you to perform. Yeah, I know.
C
She's like, okay, then rub my stomach.
A
Yeah. She's like, then pet me. Okay, I'll pet you. Here you go. All right. There you go. A little pet, little rubbing. Yeah. You smell like Nico.
C
Yeah.
A
You're getting to that age where you just, like. It's hard to keep the dogs from not smelling the breath. The breath, the breath and the dog. Every year, the vet wants me to twice a year to clean her teeth.
C
Yeah.
A
Never in my life in any of the dogs I have ever owned as a vet. Suggested that I clean her teeth. Like a professional cleaning. Like, put her under?
C
Yeah. No, my dad just got that for his dog, Champ.
A
What's that?
C
Yeah, my dad just had to do the same thing. Yeah. He was like, his breath is terrible.
A
Yeah.
C
But we've got to do something.
A
But we did it. And it didn't take care of the breath.
C
Oh, it didn't.
A
It didn't? No. So we're going to get her teeth clean probably next month. But. Yeah, listen, it's not that I got it wrong about Blue. You have to live with Blue to understand Blue. Yeah. I love her. This is the reason why she's still here, is because I do love her. And when she goes, I will be the first one shedding a tear. No doubt. I was the first one to hold her. I picked her out. I will be shedding a tear, but it's like Chinese water torture sometimes. She never stops barking. And when you. When you have a loud shriek all the time, random moments in your life, you. It's like ptsd.
C
Yeah.
A
You start. It's like. I don't know. I don't want to say like a soldier, because they actually do. Real brave, but, you know, like bombs or guns going off. It's like, you know, I'll be sitting here in the studio, just me and Blue in the house, working on something.
C
Yeah,
A
Blue, what are you barking at? And what she's barking at is she got on the bed and she can't. She doesn't want to get down on her own, so she wants me to come take care of her. Fine, I will.
C
Yeah.
A
You big old mutt. You big mangy mutt. You're a big mangy mutt. I do love you.
C
He does have the Cutest little things.
A
We have a nighttime routine. Nighttime routine is I eat, she stares at me, and then she knows when I'm done because I'm a sucker for all my little girls. I give her a bunch of treats and she, she knows it. So she would just wait for me. She'd just sit there outside in the kitchen, just breathing that nasty. Right, Blue? Yeah, yeah. What you gonna do? What are you gonna do today? You're gonna go into the neighbor's yard, dig up some dead animals?
C
Well, yeah. Didn't she do that a little while back?
A
She's doing that all the time. She found a dead animal in the neighbor's yard. She can't get enough of it. Every time I go, blue, get out of here. You know, screaming at her. She's taking a shit in the neighbor's yard every day. Meanwhile, my neighbor's like, don't worry about it. Let Blue go. Blue can do whatever she wants back here. And then one day I saw one of the teenage kid, he's like 17 years old, he's back there playing lacrosse, seeing this big buffed 17 year old kid. Nice, super nice kid. I saw him. I was watching him back there. And then at one point he like started looking at his shoe. And I was like, I knew exactly what he was looking at. I was like, fuck, I can't let Blue over there anymore. But Blue's like a magician. She finds a way to get over there, even though it's all gated and shaped.
C
Yeah, I know. I was gonna say there's the fence.
A
I don't know, I think she chewed a hole through something because she just finds a way to get over there. And I'm like, what is going on? And then sometimes it'll, you know, I don't know. You know, sometimes Blue's like under a bed or on a bed or somewhere. We don't know. She's small. We don't know where she is. She's in the house. Sometimes you'll hear a bark and you don't know where it's coming from. And it's the front door, she's at the front door. I'm like, how the fuck did you get out of the house?
C
I know. She is a little magician, aren't you?
A
She is a smelly little magician.
C
She Blue?
B
Yeah.
A
David Copperfield ended his run.
C
Oh, really?
A
25 year run at the Mirage. I think it was because he's in the Epstein files.
C
Yeah, it's time.
A
It's time, boys. It's time to pay the paycheck. Boys. Sorry. Did you think you were going to get away with it? Honestly? And I don't think this is the end. And now Trump's. There's a Trump accuser in there. And FBI was trying to hide those files, and they found him. That looks terrible for the President. I'm not saying it's true. It's an accusation. It is. There was never any charges filed, but she did get paid a large payout from the Epstein estate. So, you know, and the accusation is
C
that such a web, such a web,
A
it's all over the place. And then yesterday, they brought in the accountant who they had never, ever interviewed before. They had never interviewed Epstein's accountant.
C
What?
A
And yesterday they brought him in, closed doors. They interview his account, and check this out. He was getting his money from five people. Five people. Les Wexner from Victoria's Secret, Gap Ltd. The whole thing, right? Billionaire many times over, retail giant. Retail genius, all right, But a very quirky, weird man. We all saw. Some of that footage came out when he went and he testified. Okay, Les Wexner, the guy from Citibank, can't remember his name. Another hedge fund billionaire. I know. She's just not going to leave it alone now. We're going to put her down on the floor. And then the Rothschilds. The Rothschilds were giving him money also. The Rothschilds. Hmm. So you know all those conspiracy theorists that I hate that are constantly throwing out all those weird conspiracy theories about the Rothschilds, all that other. I don't know. I don't know. It's a web. Now there's more evidence that's been leaked that says that it's likely that he was scared for his life. It was likely that there were other people in or around his cell around the time that he died that have not. It's likely.
C
Fishy.
A
Yeah, it's all very fishy. It's all highly suspect and highly circumspect. The circumstances are highly unlikely. All of it? All of it. And now I'm casting shade on the whole story. I don't think he worked alone. I think he may have been an operative for either the US Government, private interests, or many different governments. He's an agent collecting leverage on people, secrets that then they other people could use to leverage geopolitical events and. Or financial transactions. And it just doesn't look good. Any of it. And it makes me believe, and I've always known this, that people with money and a lot of power are controlling events far beyond, you know, flying their private plane to pretty islands Far beyond being able to move the markets in a financial way, because the amount of wealth that they have, they are moving events around the world in their direction. And you wonder why some of these people who seem to have heads on their shoulders at some point are now bowing to the king, are now doing anything that any, you know, some people say, you know, Netanyahu or Trump or whoever, and it's pretty clear, it's pretty obvious why that's happening because they have been blackmailed into doing so. And so it's either play the game or don't play the game. And if you play the game, you'll be rich and fabulously wealthy. You'll just have to be an evil with no soul. And if you don't play the game, you will suffer the consequences up to and including your life or the people around you. And that is an insane thing to think. And I would normally, five years ago, I would say conspiratorial thinking, it doesn't make sense. But now, yeah, it's starting to make sense.
C
Yeah.
A
And so I'm not going to be this guy who, who holds on to a position just because I had it at one time. My chain, my thinking is changing as the evidence is coming out.
C
Yeah.
A
And I think this is super duper bad for our President. And, and I say anybody who's any 40 year old man who is taking liberties with young teenagers as young as 13 years old, to hell with you. Yeah, I don't care. Whatever the consequences are, the consequences are. There are a lot of things I can forgive. Stealing, robbing, you know, I can forgive a 21 year old that's dating a 17 year old. I can forgive a 15 year old that's dating a 13. Like those, those are things you can go, okay, that's just young puppy love. That's just. Whatever it is, it is. What I cannot forgive is adult grown men with young children that I cannot forgive at all. At all. And there is increasing evidence, evidence that there are so many people involved in this that they should all go to hell.
C
So many. And I was even reading a story the other day too about like the, the obgyns, you know, the gynecologists that were. Seen that, that he was just funneling all of these women too from. That's it, you know, all of the, I mean it was trafficking, trafficking absolutely. Going on.
A
Make sure they're not pregnant, make sure they get rid of STDs, make sure that they're, you know, I don't know, they can be ready to go yeah, give them vaginoplasty. So who fucking knows what kind of craziness was going on. But the other thing that, you know, somebody is saying that they saw a conspiracy, that Jeffrey Epstein is still alive. There are conspiracy theories out there that Ghislaine Maxwell is not in prison. Listen, I don't know, but if five years ago I would have said, you're just talking out your ass, and now
C
I don't know, why the fuck did she get moved? I mean, I know because she knows a lot of secrets about people. But that's like, why was there not more uproar about that?
A
Because the entire Department of Justice and the FBI and the Bureau of Prisons is under the thumb of Trump in his administration. And he is a king, and what he says goes, or else you will suffer the consequences. And that is the big problem that we have today. Not not only do we have an absolute insane person at the top of our government, but then we have so many other problems that cannot be solved by the idiots that are running this country. It is an unserious country with unserious people doing unserious and criminal things. Okay, come here, blood. Yeah, because the door just opened and now she's. She's going crazy. She wants out. She needs out. She wants out. She needs out. I gotta go see is this door. I gotta go see the door. She needs a reason to bark. She has to bark. So here we go. And before she does it here, let's. Let's wrap it. Let's wrap it up. Okay, baby, I know you want to get down. You want to get down and go see her. Oh, the girls are probably. Oh, yes. Hold on one second. Let's. Don't mess me up. Don't mess me up. Yeah, don't. Don't press my buttons. Then you're gonna be in real trouble. All right, well, we covered it all. We covered Dean Bode and the Epstein files, your gym visit, my gym visit in blue. We got it all in today. I'm so proud of us. Yes. Look at us. Happy campers. Oh, I was gonna say something, and now I can't remember what I was gonna say. I was gonna tell you something really important.
C
I love you.
A
Oh, I love you. Toy Story 5. They've started releasing little snippets of Toy Story 5.
C
Oh, no, I saw. Because, you know, I took my nephews to the movies this weekend, which, by the way, Hoppers really cute movie.
A
Oh, is it? Okay, good. The kids are going to see it.
C
Okay. Yeah, but I saw a preview for The Toy Story 5. Yeah, it looks good.
A
All right, good. I'm excited. I can't wait. Wait for another Toy Story to come out that I'm excited about. And that certainly means that, you know, Tom's going to be coming in for an interview, so. There you go, Blue. Oh, there she is. No, quiet, quiet, Blue. Hey. Oh, my gosh. Here we go. This is he.
C
That was a one time thing.
A
That was a one time thing. Fifteen minutes, and that's all she could do. She has to go crazy. Oh, did someone let her out? No, no one let her out. It's chaos. It's chaos. All right. YouTube.com thecommercial break again. Hit the subscription and the notification bell so you get notified when Chrissy and I go live. That could be anytime, really. Tuesday, Wednesday, or Thursday. You never know. Also, follow us on Instagram at the commercial break for exclusive clips and content that we will promise we will put out at some point.
C
We mean to put out.
A
Yeah, you can follow me personally or Chrissy personally. Those links are in the show notes also on Brian w. Green. She's TCB, Chrissy. And then go to the website tcb podcast.com for all the video, all the audio. It's all right there in one location. You can get it. You'll have a bunch of fun looking at it. Blue is literally losing her mind right now. She doesn't know what to do. She cannot sit still. She's just like her owner. All right, Blue. No, ma'. Am. Now she's chewing on the door. Okay, okay, let's get on. All right. That's all I can do for today.
C
I think so.
A
I love you.
C
I love you.
A
Best to you. Best you out there in the podcast and streaming audience. Until next time, Chrissy and I, I will say, we do say, and we must say goodbye, Sam.
Date: March 13, 2026
Hosts: Bryan Green & Krissy Hoadley
This episode of The Commercial Break exemplifies the show’s signature improv-comedy style, swinging between personal anecdotes, satirical takes on pop culture, internet grifts, and reality TV. Listeners are treated to a dynamic, unfiltered banter between Bryan and Krissy as they riff on AI influencers, gym struggles, infamous scams, reality dating shows, oddball podcast nostalgia, dog shenanigans, and the latest in high-profile conspiracy controversies.
True to "The Commercial Break" format, the episode is an irreverent, energetic trip through personal, social, and cultural absurdities, always laced with Bryan and Krissy’s self-deprecating honesty and affection. It’s a patchwork of bits, roasts, and real talk—punctuated by wild tangents, warm nostalgia, and a refusal to take anything (even themselves) too seriously.
Final Words:
"I love you. Best to you out there in the podcast and streaming audience. Until next time, Chrissy and I, I will say, we do say, and we must say goodbye, Sam." — Bryan (51:29)