Chrissy Joy Odley (3:21)

An island.

Brian Green (3:21)

It's an island. There you go. You get a little. Everyone's got a little bit of island fever down there, including me. When I go down there, I feel like, you know, I don't know, I feel like I belong to an exclusive golf club or so don't. Why are all these people here? Why are all these people. Why are you here? You don't live here. Why are you here? I'm going to the massage. I'm going to the Ritz for a massage. I'll be at the Ritz for a massage.

Chrissy Joy Odley (3:43)

That Ritz was beautiful.

Brian Green (3:44)

That'll be $720, sir.

Chrissy Joy Odley (3:48)

That is expensive.

Brian Green (3:49)

I didn't even get a massage. That's for the. That's for the scents. Just the smell of the. The smell of the spa. $720, sir. The next episode of the commercial break starts now. Oh, yeah. Cats and kittens, welcome back to the commercial break. I'm Brian Green. This is my dear friend and the co host of this show, Chris Joy Odley. Best you, Chris. Best to you out there in the podcast universe. Thanks for joining us on yet another. Another. Another episode of the commercial Break. This, the commercial break. The commercial break. My new best friends at the commercial break wanted to tell you that they fuck ghosts. Tune in to the next Dr. Phil for a ghost fucking episode. Yes. Also, we're gonna hogtie some immigrants and throw them over the border on the commercial break. If I'm not Dr. Sheriff Phil, he's gonna add sheriff to his name.

Chrissy Joy Odley (4:53)

How do you know me? That's what he said to that guy. Know you're on TV.

Brian Green (4:57)

Yeah, you're on TV in Mexico. Saludes, amigos. Dr. Phil. Well, what can you do? Mount up. Hoo. Ha. Hoonah. Dr. Phil on the block. He got hard. He got hard all of a sudden. Gives me chills from my willy. Hoo, hoo, willy, hoo. Speaking of the border. Florabama. Never. We're back from vacation. I'm red and ready. I'm red and ready. Tina Tannin tweezes now re reopen.

Chrissy Joy Odley (5:39)

You've got definitely a good tan going on.

Brian Green (5:42)

I do have a good tan. My wife was like, you are dark. And I said, yes, that's because I cover myself in oil. Well, here's my game plan. I'll share it with you for all those Who. For all those who care to get that 80s burnt sienna look. I go for. I go for about 45 to 50 minutes. 11 to 1pm that area, the sun area.

Chrissy Joy Odley (6:11)

The searing time.

Brian Green (6:12)

The searing time. Yes. I'm watching a lot of Top Chef right now. Yes, that's right.

Chrissy Joy Odley (6:19)

On both sides.

Brian Green (6:20)

The crudo. I'm going for crudo seared on both sides, raw in the middle.

Chrissy Joy Odley (6:24)

Yeah.

Brian Green (6:25)

So you go there and you just do a little bit of sun. You get a little sun kiss. That's what you do. And then you dial yourself up with all the sunscreens. But because my face is so used to being a different shade of brown, I just put the 30 on my face after that, but it works. I didn't get sunburned.

Chrissy Joy Odley (6:42)

30? Yeah.

Brian Green (6:42)

I was out in the sun a lot, and I went to Flora Bama.

Chrissy Joy Odley (6:46)

Yes, you did.

Brian Green (6:47)

And now I never expected I would be a Flora Bama kind of guy. I was mainly a Flora kind of guy. But I went to the Bama side. And I got to be honest, as I went to Orange beach, which, for those of you that don't know Flora Bama is exactly what it sounds like. It is part Florida, part Alabama. It's right. Right on the line of Florida and Alabama, where the two meet. The very little beach that Alabama has is like Orange Beach. Like that Orange beach in the Gulf. In the Gulf. Gulf Shores.

Chrissy Joy Odley (7:16)

That kind of area of Mexico.

Brian Green (7:18)

The Gulf of Mexico. Where do you know me from? The Gulf of Mexico, bro. And Flora Bama gets its name from a very famous bar named the Florabama. Now, I don't know the whole story, but the way that it was told to me, and I'm not sure this is true, I've done no research on this. So if I'm wrong, that's. Just add that to the list. But the. There was a property that somebody bought. They rejiggered the lines for the Florida Bama, Florida Alabama state lines, and this guy's property was right in the middle of it, and somebody built a bar on top of it. Some ingenues. Some ingenues built a bar. They call it the Floribama.

Chrissy Joy Odley (7:56)

They used to have a mullet toss there.

Brian Green (7:59)

Yeah, they do a lot of stuff.

Chrissy Joy Odley (8:00)

Mullet as in the fish?

Brian Green (8:02)

Yeah, mullet as in the fish. But you can probably find a few mullets there too, though. It's very in vogue to be at this. In this part of the world right now. If you're not part in vogue, I say in vogue to a certain Popular part of the population. Trey Crowder, by the way, is this week's, in case you're wondering. Go check it out. I enjoyed my conversation with Trey, by the way.

Chrissy Joy Odley (8:26)

Yeah, no, it was a good one.

Brian Green (8:27)

Drakerowder.com for all the information. Go listen to the episode. So Florida, long known for its beautiful beaches, its condo friendly, retirement friendly, party friendly atmosphere has been built up. And the land is very expensive. Anywhere you go and there's a beach in Florida, you are paying out the nose for land, for condos, for houses. There just is very little left in the way of kind of like slow beach towns in Florida. They exist, but they're not going to exist for much longer.

Chrissy Joy Odley (9:02)

And beaches are beautiful.

Brian Green (9:03)

They are. They're gorgeous. Especially the Gulf side. From Naples all the way to Florida Bama, all the way to Perdido Key, which is the, the furthest west you can go into Florida. And so, and I've spent a lot of time on those beaches. We all have. If you live in Atlanta, it's our backyard. So that's where we go. So A1A, which is the highway that runs along the coast really from like the armpit of the Gulf all the way to perdido key. A1A has gotten extraordinarily ritzy and expensive. And, and you see these A1A stickers, like you see student driver stickers all over the place. And basically what that means is you're paying too much for your vacation. You're an asshole. I'm sorry, but you're an asshole.

Chrissy Joy Odley (9:50)

Yeah, there's whole communities.

Brian Green (9:51)

There's whole community.

Chrissy Joy Odley (9:52)

Families go every year and it's a whole thing. And they have these private beaches.

Brian Green (9:56)

I told you this. Yeah. Florida allows for private beaches, private beach access in some places. And so last year we went on vacation to Panama City to Margaritaville, which is not private access beach. I'll share that. Not even on the beach. You have to walk across the street. But we went down A1A to go have lunch and we brought the, we thought, okay, let's bring the stuff, we'll have lunch, we'll go to the beach. Because we had been to this place before and I'm not going to name it by name, but if you know A1A, then you know which beach I'm talking about. You know which community I'm talking starts with an R. Yes, there you go. And we went to go get beach access and fuck if I'm not kidding. The goddamn gate was locked. The gate was locked. It was locked. And people were pressing In a code and going in. And these people were not interested in letting you in. Do you know what I'm saying? They were like real dicks about it. They were hiding the code. And so meanwhile, some dude just kind of like kicked the door open and I ran and held the door like a total redneck. Meanwhile, somebody is in their fancy beach, $17 million beach house watching me do this, and I'm like, hey, just waiting for the family.

Chrissy Joy Odley (11:12)

The kids.

Brian Green (11:13)

The kids, Yeah, I had the kids. So, you know, that to me, I don't. Even if I had the money to stay at one of those places, I don't feel the need to keep everybody else out. It's just not my style. Like, it's a beach. Let everyone enjoy it. I mean, unless they're causing trouble. And then I can understand why, you know, okay, you don't want camping on the beach, all right, I get that. You don't want people driving on the beach, all right? I get that. You don't even want alcohol on the beach with teenagers and spring break. I get that. Also, you want to keep some semblance of like, you know, keep it family friendly or whatever. Keeping people out because they didn't pay $10,000 a night to stay at your little, you know, Chip and Joanna Gaines cottage. Doesn't feel all that great to me any who Flora Bama, the bar. If you've ever watched the show Flora Bama Shores, then you will know what a great. That is a tribute to redneck. It is. That is like the apex of redneck reality tv. And listen, as much as I am an Irish boy from Chicago and always will be, I can play with the rednecks. Like, I don't. I'm not. I'm not angry at rednecks. I don't paint them all a certain color. I don't think they. And quite frankly, they're fun. They're fun. Yes, they're fun and they could be super nice. And they got that southern style and southern charm and. And I like it. It's. It's very much in fashion right now. But I've always been, you know, I've spent most of my life here in Georgia. I've always had a certain affinity for it. I can have a southern draw when I need to. You know what I'm saying? And there's two types of southern draws. Remember, Chrissy? There's the southern draw from the old money, which is like, you know, my former mother in law, Brian. There's two types of people with money in this world. The kind that show it and the kind that know it. And then there's like, redneck. There's like down south redneck, you know, new money kind of twang. Yeah, they got that twang. So the Flora Bama has a line down the middle of it. One side you're on Florida, one side you're in Alabama.

Chrissy Joy Odley (13:07)

They've got Bushwhackers there.

Brian Green (13:09)

And I believe that the. That yet. Bushwhackers is the drink. And my dad was going crazy over Bushwack.

Chrissy Joy Odley (13:15)

I love.

Brian Green (13:16)

Oh, my God.

Chrissy Joy Odley (13:16)

I'd be right there with your dad.

Brian Green (13:18)

Yeah, my dad, like this, like, Midwestern meat packing guy all of a sudden is drinking Bushwhackers.

Chrissy Joy Odley (13:25)

They're delicious.

Brian Green (13:25)

And eating fried shrimp.

Chrissy Joy Odley (13:27)

Wendy's Frosty.

Brian Green (13:28)

A frosty with liquor. Yeah, that's what it is. So the bar and I believe the guys, Flora Bama, the band, the country music sensation from the early 2000s that were around for a minute, I believe their whole shtick was one guy played in Florida and one guy played in Alabama, but on the same stage. I think that's how they got their name. I don't know, but that's what somebody told me. So we go to Orange beach where my parents. My stepmom and my dad have rented a. One of the few townhouses that remain directly on the beach.

Chrissy Joy Odley (14:02)

Like, so nice.

Brian Green (14:03)

Five townhouses. They rented one of them for a.

Chrissy Joy Odley (14:05)

Month, like Airbnb or.

Brian Green (14:07)

Yeah, I think they did it through one of those VBRO or something like that. But they found somebody. It was a relative, you know, it's pricey, but it wasn't so pricey. I thought it was actually a pretty decent price for being right on the beach. Like, open up the back door, walk down off your patio, you're on the beach. And the beaches are huge there. They're like a football field deep. So they're beautiful. White sand, the kind of white sand that's like salt. I mean, it's so tiny. Oh, just lovely. And it was really nice. The townhouse was appropriate enough. It was, you know, done up and all that, you know, leave your sandals here, you know, all that bullshit. Sand dollars all over the place.

Chrissy Joy Odley (14:44)

Life's a beach.

Brian Green (14:44)

Life's a beach. Get kicking. My coffee's a margarita, right? All the little things, all the little snick schnacks that go around, you know, sand dollars everywhere, shiplap everywhere. You know, wainscoting everywhere. You know how it goes. Tile floors that have. Where your feet, where you have to get a towel to wipe your Feet before you get in bed because everything has sand on it. But we go down there and one thing I noticed about Orange beach is that Orange beach is extraordinarily new. Now, here's the word on the street about Orange beach. And I know this for a fact because when I worked in commercial real estate, when you and I first started this show, I got a call from another, what they call merchant banker, which is like a broker of. For big commercial projects. And he called me in on a deal and then he had me drive down one night so that the next day we could meet a guy who was doing a deal in Gulf Shores, which is a little further away from the Florida Bama line. Orange beat. Think about moving west. Floridama or Perdido Keyla, Alabama. Alabama. Perdido Key, Florida moves into Flora, Bama moves into Orange beach, then moves into Gulf Shores. So, all right, on this one strip, this 20 mile, 25 mile long strip. So I go down there, and when I went down there, right at the beginning of the pandemic, everyone's scared, wearing masks, you know, not coughing on each other, all that bullshit. I just remember, all I remember are these huge buildings coming out of the ground and crane after crane after crane after crane on the beach. Just huge amounts of development. And I remember thinking to myself at the time, wow, either all of these guys are completely fucked because of the pandemic or something's going on here that like, I've never seen before. It's like Miami or something, you know, it's all these cranes down here. The reason why it's relatively new, I'm assuming, is because they must have changed the zoning laws and allowed for this dense development of these condos in these hotels.

Chrissy Joy Odley (16:38)

Did they have any kind of like, you know, how the hurricanes come and all of that? Did they have any kind of damage that they had to rebuild from?

Brian Green (16:46)

I don't think so. Not that I remember. Not that. Not that I recall. My assumption is the town was founded, Orange beach was founded in 1984. They probably had the old guard, you know, a bunch of homeowners sitting on the board who were like, you know, okay, we wanted to keep it a sleepy old beach town and have a few little condo buildings here and there. Money talks, but money talks. And the new, the new people, you know, we all know capitalism has officially taken over everything. And we don't give a shit anymore. We just want. We don't give a shit about our sleepy town. We want to make money. And man, have they made hay from these beautiful beaches. Because it is just condo building after condo building after condo building. Not necessarily my style of beach. You know, I'd much rather be in like a sleepy beach town or a little bit more cozy of a beach town. But I will say this. I had a great time. The town is fresh. It's new looks fresh and new. You have to. They don't have left turns there. Everything's a U turn, which is amazing. I called it U turn city because you cannot take a left in. So let's imagine you're driving down the beach and the beach is on your left and all those big condo built. You got to get to your condo building. You can't take a left into the condo building. You have to go down the street, make a U turn where they have a light for the U turn. They have U turn lights.

Chrissy Joy Odley (17:58)

Oh, wow.

Brian Green (17:59)

So they stop the traffic going the other way and the U turn light goes on and you make a U turn. And they even have a little extra shoulder on the road so that you can, you know, kind of dip over. Look at that. They're thinking about this, right? I don't know why they are so opposed to left turns down there, but. Okay, there's a lot of condo buildings.

Chrissy Joy Odley (18:14)

Flow of traffic.

Brian Green (18:14)

Flow of traffic. There's a lot of condo buildings. So they have to have left turns. The whole.

Chrissy Joy Odley (18:18)

Yeah. Otherwise you're stopping.

Brian Green (18:19)

Yeah, it's either that suicide lane, you know, the big lane going down the middle of the road, or the median, which is much prettier and much more managed and people aren't trying to kill each other. So everything's new. It's all fresh, and there's a lot of development and beautiful things. I would call it redneck chic going on down there. Redneck chic. I don't know any other way to explain it.

Chrissy Joy Odley (18:38)

Yeah, I like that.

Brian Green (18:39)

Family friendly. There's a lot of. At least when we went, there's a lot of families. I was told by some locals that spring break, college, and summer can be. Is next week.

Chrissy Joy Odley (18:50)

Okay.

Brian Green (18:51)

And the locals, spring break, which is Auburn, Alabama, you know, all those. The Alabama colleges, when that comes on, then you're really getting kind of crazy. But, man, I'll tell you what, Chrissy, it was beautiful. Astrin and I went and had a beautiful dinner at a restaurant named Coastal. I have never seen a beach restaurant like this in my entire life. It was so incredibly big.

Chrissy Joy Odley (19:12)

It was like overlooking the water and you saw the sun.

Brian Green (19:15)

That's it. The whole nine yards. And it was just this huge, beautiful Restaurant serving pricey but good food in a.

Chrissy Joy Odley (19:22)

What you have?

Brian Green (19:23)

I had shrimp and grits. I had fresh shrimp and grits. I went outside. My normal. Like that. You did that cheeseburger in paradise kind of vibe. So I'm on the beach, you know, listen, here's my thing about being on a beach.

Chrissy Joy Odley (19:36)

I've got to have seafood when I.

Brian Green (19:37)

Go to the beach. Everybody says that, but I get a little nervous about having seafood on the beach. And I'll tell you what, I get a little upset and a little bit.

Chrissy Joy Odley (19:44)

They do a lot of shrimping in that area, so they do local, fresh shrimp.

Brian Green (19:49)

You can see them at night, see those boats right off the. You know, a couple hundred yards off the water, and they're shrimping. But then why are you charging me 38 fucking dollars for a baker's dozen of fried shrimp?

Chrissy Joy Odley (20:00)

Because they had to build the restaurant.

Brian Green (20:02)

Exactly $40 million is what I was told this cost because they built a breaker on the restaurant so if a hurricane comes, it doesn't wash the restaurant away. They were thinking at about $40 million. That's a lot of shrimp and grits you got to sell. That's a lot of baker's dozen of. Of local shrimp. But everyone always raves about the local seafood. The local seafood. I don't know. I like my seafood packed in a box and frozen. And travel a couple hours. I don't know. Something. I don't know.

Chrissy Joy Odley (20:27)

I'm a crab girl. I love the crab.

Brian Green (20:29)

You know I love the crab. I know you love the crab. No matter the price. Don't even ask the price. Give me three dozen of those. Chrissy. We have this seafood restaurant here. Beautiful, lovely place. We've been to a lot. Astrid and I love this place. I'm not gonna name it by name, but the waiter comes over, tells the special. It's. It's snow crab. Or was it snow crab? Rock crab. Rock crab, yeah. Rock crab. Tender, lovely, sweet meat.

Chrissy Joy Odley (20:57)

Succulent.

Brian Green (20:58)

Succulent, lovely. $72 a claw. We're selling them by the dozen, and Chrissy orders five dozen and then eats four dozen of them. And the bill came. It was like $6,000. Poor Chrissy put it on the car. Yeah. Had had better days. She was already in the cups. And so Rachel and I looked at each other, like, just split it five ways. Just split it four ways. It's fine. Just don't worry about it. She's like, wait, I didn't know it was that much. I thought it was 72 per order. We're like, no, it's 72 per crab, per claw.

Chrissy Joy Odley (21:39)

They were delicious.

Brian Green (21:40)

We went, we had a great time. It was right. It was exactly what the doctor ordered.

Chrissy Joy Odley (21:47)

That break, that getaway.

Brian Green (21:48)

Yeah. We were running up against it for the last, you know, since really Christmas, we've been running up against it. And so I. But Astrid and I looked at each other at the end of the trip or while we were having dinner and we said, this could be a place where we run.

Chrissy Joy Odley (22:01)

I like it.

Brian Green (22:02)

My go to has always been one of three places. Charleston, Amelia island or Naples, Florida. But here is the problem with all three of those places now.

Chrissy Joy Odley (22:15)

It's far.

Brian Green (22:16)

It's far, especially Naples. It's expensive, and it's getting more expensive every time we go. And Amelia island, the sleepy little town that everybody falls in love with, you may say to yourself, the fuck is Amelia Island? It's nothing. That's what it is. It's where the first Ritz Carlton ever and in the United States of America opened the Ritz Carl.

Chrissy Joy Odley (22:36)

Spanish moss. And just the beautiful.

Brian Green (22:39)

The beautiful vibe, slow vibe. But it has been extraordinarily crowded and extraordinarily expensive the last couple times we went. We used to have. Well, I'm not gonna say that. Listen, we're. Yeah, we've spent a lot of time.

Chrissy Joy Odley (22:53)

There, a lot of time down there during the pandemic.

Brian Green (22:56)

It's beautiful, it's lovely, but the beaches are different because you're on the Atlantic side. So the water is colder, it's rougher and it gives you, like. And all of the water mainly up and down the east coast is brackish. Unless you get all the way down to like Miami, like go past kind of Cape Canaveral, the water is brackish. And so it's a different type of water. You can't see the water. Like you can't see when you step in, you can't see your feet because it's bracket brackish water. It's, you know, fresh and ocean watered, muddy, kind of salty, weird water. But it's a lovely town. There's nothing quite as quaint and lovely as Amelia Island. But it's no secret anymore. So it's overdeveloped, it's highly crowded. They are not building anything else because the old guard is always going to be there. They're never going to let that island get any more developed. And so it's just a different vibe in Amelia Island. It's an island. There you go. You get a little. Everyone's got a little bit of island Fever down there. Including me. When I go down there, I feel like, you know, I don't know. I feel like I belong to an exclusive golf club or so. Don't. Why are all these people here? Why are all these people. Why are you here? You don't live here. Why are you here? I'm going to the massage. I'm going to the Ritz for a massage. I'll be at the Ritz for a massage.

Chrissy Joy Odley (24:12)

That Ritz was beautiful.

Brian Green (24:13)

That'll be $720, sir.

Chrissy Joy Odley (24:16)

That is expensive.

Brian Green (24:17)

I didn't even get a massage. That's for the. That's for the center. Just the smell of the. The smell of the spa. $720, sir. Okay. It's getting a little outland. So Orange beach presents itself as a good. And also, I spent a lot of time in Amelia island when I only had one child or no children. So now that I have many children, it's just a whole different animal. The struggle is real. Everyone. The struggle is real. Everyone is feeling it. Everyone is feeling the pinch and the squeeze. And it's not getting better and doesn't look like it's gonna get better anytime soon. So to find a place where you can go where it's still reasonably, you know. I will say this about Orange Beach. It's beautiful. It's got that chip and go, Joanna redneck vibe everywhere. You know, everything's white and lovely and clean and open. But they know that they got you by the balls when they get you down there, like any good beach town does. You can go to these little, you know, the Crab Shack or whatever the fuck they call it. And every town has it, by the way. Every beach town has a crab shack or a crab trap, and they all have the best shrimp in the world. You know what I'm saying? But none of them really have the best shrimp in the world. But they get you in that restaurant and they know they're gonna charge you $30 for a bushwhacker and $38 for a baker's dozen of shrimp they caught two minutes away. Wow. They didn't cost that much money. You picked it up off the ocean floor and put it in a basket. How does it cost $38? I don't know, but that's okay. I'm. You know, if you got to pay for the restaurants, at least you're not paying as much for this, for the stay and the place in general. So I will share that. I never thought I would be an Orange beach kind of guy. I might be an Orange beach kind of guy.

Chrissy Joy Odley (26:00)

I like it.

Brian Green (26:01)

I might be an Orange Beach.

Chrissy Joy Odley (26:02)

Was it more families that you saw, or would it be something Jeff and I would like as a little getaway?

Brian Green (26:08)

I don't think you and Jeff would be disappointed. Yeah, but it. You know. And they have some of the biggest bars I have ever seen in my entire life. The Flora Bama is big in and of itself, but there are two that dot each end of the. The kind of the Florida area. The Orange beach in Gulf Shores. There's a place called the Hangout.

Chrissy Joy Odley (26:30)

Oh, yeah, the Hangout. Hangout Fest.

Brian Green (26:32)

Yeah. There is a huge bar there with multiple stages. Kind of weird. You drive down, you get into Gulf Shores. It's a little bit older. It's a little bit more dense there with retail and restaurants and stuff like that. And you're driving and you see the beach on the left, and all of a sudden you have a little bit of development, couple condo buildings. And then on the corner of the major intersection is a huge bar called the Hangout. And they have a stage, like an actual huge stage with a cover on it and everything. And my son and I were driving to go get some pizza in Gulf Shores and bring it back. And I got the window rolled down and it sounded like these guys were playing inside of my car. They were. By the way, they were playing Nickelback. They were covering Nickelback. But that's the kind of vibe it is, right? Okay. That's the kind of vibe it is. And you could see him on the stage as you were sitting there at the stoplight. They were like, right there on the stage playing to hundreds and hundreds of people.

Chrissy Joy Odley (27:28)

Maybe. We'll have to check it out. In fact, Jeff is consulting on another festival that's in that area.

Brian Green (27:33)

There you go.

Chrissy Joy Odley (27:34)

So I think I'm going to target that for us to go down there and we could check it out.

Brian Green (27:37)

I wouldn't say no to a trip down to Orange Beach. Spend a couple of days there. They've got great food. But what I really want in a beach trip, the most important thing for me in the beach trip is the beach. That's what I want, a beautiful beach.

Chrissy Joy Odley (27:51)

Yeah, no, that's important.

Brian Green (27:52)

I want to be able to get out there. I'm not a kind of like, lay in the sand for four hours kind of guy, but if I could take a walk up and down the beach, if I can splash in the water a little bit, I get my. Get my son. I don't mean my son. My kid. The son. The son the. The Son, the Father, the Holy Spirit and all that jazz. Yeah. If I can. If I can do a little star sun gazing, a little sun worshiping, then I'm. I'm good.

Chrissy Joy Odley (28:15)

The stars at night.

Brian Green (28:16)

Yeah.

Chrissy Joy Odley (28:16)

Oh, did you see the stars?

Brian Green (28:18)

We saw the pink moon. We saw the pink moon the first night we got there. We got there. Really?

Chrissy Joy Odley (28:24)

Micro moon.

Brian Green (28:25)

The micro moon, which was not micro at all. It was actually very large, at least where we were from our view when we got there the first night. It was late, it was dark. It was way past the kids bedtime. We've been driving all day after we picked one of my kids up from school and we got there and we look out, we go on the back deck, and there's hundreds of people that are walking up and down the beach with flashlights. And I thought, oh, it must be turtle season. Yeah, but it's not turtle season. That's why they can actually. Because in at least an Amelia island, you cannot actually have a flashlight out on the beach if it's turtle season or I think anytime, really, because you confuse the turtles and they look at the lights, and even the lights on the back of buildings have to be a certain color, so they don't think it's the moon. So. But what it was is just a bunch of families out there taking a stroll in the at night. That's the kind of beach it is, I guess, you know, if you're at Florida, little night stroll with, you know, some dippity dabs and a drink. Yeah. Slush Puppy or whatever they call them. And so the kids got to see.

Chrissy Joy Odley (29:27)

The stars, so it wasn't so bright in this part of town.

Brian Green (29:30)

It wasn't the star iest of beaches, but you could certainly see the stars also. It was a full moon when we were there, or mostly a full moon and then a full moon. So the moon kind of drowned out some of the stars. I think it was a dark night. I would have been able to see a lot. But we see these people out there with the flashlight. The kids got really excited. Dad, I want to. I want to go out there. I said, we don't have any flashlight. You're smelling the beach.

Chrissy Joy Odley (29:52)

Oh, yeah.

Brian Green (29:53)

So the last night as a kid.

Chrissy Joy Odley (29:54)

I just remember being so.

Brian Green (29:55)

I know the last. They were just really excited about this. The last night, last day. We go to a souvenir store. They're selling these cheap little, you know, $7 flat waterproof flashlights. Everyone got one. And the pink moon came out. Sun went down and we went out with our flashlights and we ran around and that's that. Those are the memories you remember. Those are the things you remember.

Chrissy Joy Odley (30:14)

100%.

Brian Green (30:15)

And those are the things they'll remember. And you cap off a trip and you say, well, I'm. I'm rested and ready to get back to yet another episode of the.

Chrissy Joy Odley (30:28)

Yeah. Jeff and I were. We were making the bed this morning, and he said, up. Back to work.

Brian Green (30:33)

There you go.

Chrissy Joy Odley (30:33)

Back to tcv.

Brian Green (30:34)

Back to tcv.

Chrissy Joy Odley (30:36)

And I have to say, you know, I was excited.

Brian Green (30:38)

I did miss it. You do? Yeah, I did. Yesterday. I was excited. I thought, well, I get to get back with my friend and have a conversation. Exactly. Listen, it's all. This is not. We're not digging ditches. This isn't the worst thing in the world. And I will say this. Many, many, many text messages on that phone when I came back. And that really put a smile on my face. Many. Three. No, no. A lot of people had been texting us while we were gone. I left the phone. Yeah, I decided to turn it all off. I put it on personal mode. I turned it all off.

Chrissy Joy Odley (31:08)

Good for you.

Brian Green (31:09)

And I left the studio phone here. Sometimes we'll take it if we go on vacation so we can respond to people or check messages or whatever. But we left it here and we. I came back to a lot of messages. It really put a smile on my face.

Chrissy Joy Odley (31:19)

We'll get back to you next year.

Brian Green (31:21)

Yeah, we'll get back to. I tried to respond to everybody last night, but if you haven't had a response, it's coming. And we sent out another round of stickers. A lot of people said they got their stickers. Congratulations. Stay tuned. On May 31, the 12 hours of TCB, which might end up being a baker's dozen, but stay tuned, kids, because now everyone so many celebrities have gotten excited about this that now they're asking to come on the 12 hours of TCB, which, I don't know, maybe we'll just make it 12 hours of celebrities and we won't even do live shows. I don't know. We'll see.

Chrissy Joy Odley (31:52)

We'll see how this all shapes up.

Brian Green (31:54)

But on May 31st, it's a Saturday, last day of the month. 12 hours of TCB. Six hours of celebrity guest interviews, six hours of commercial break nonsense. Celebrating five years of the commercial break and putting some focus on mental health awareness. The mental health awareness month is May and Chrissy and I feel strongly that we are mentally ill. So there you go.

Chrissy Joy Odley (32:18)

Yes, we do.

Brian Green (32:19)

So we feel strongly that we're mentally ill, that we need help. All right, so. So let's do this. Let's take a break. We got lots more to talk about. We're back. I got a lot of stuff built up, so let's get it all out in this episode and we'll be back to boring tomorrow. We'll be back. You make this rather snappy, won't you? I have some very heavy thinking to do before 10 o'. Clock.

Rachel (32:40)

Hi, cats and kittens. Rachel here. Do you ever get the urge to speak endlessly into the void like Brian? Well, I've got just the place for you to do that. 212-4333. TCB. That's 212-433-3822. Feel free to call and yell all you want. Tell Brian I need a raise. Compliment Chrissy's innate ability to put up with all his shenanigans or tell us a little story. The juicier the better. By the way, we love to hear your voice because Lord knows we're done listening to ourselves. Also, give us a follow on your favorite socials. He commercial break on Insta TCB podcast on TikTok. And for those of you who like to watch. Oh, that came out wrong. We put all the episodes out on video, YouTube.com thecommercial break and tcbpodcast.com for all the info on the show, your free sticker, or just to see how pretty we look. Okay, I gotta go now. I've got a date with my dog. No, seriously, Axel needs food. Today is pork chop day.

Brian Green (33:44)

Oh, I did want to mention one other thing, Chrissy. I will. Mike Pesca, our friend from the very lovely podcast the Gist, the longest running daily news podcast out there. Mike has been doing this for a very long time. He's very smart and he has not been so intelligent with his guest choices. Because tomorrow, this is coming out on Wednesday. Thursday I will be on his secondary podcast called Not Even Mad, which you can get on the Gist feed. Or they have their own RSS feed called Not Even Mad. It goes both places. I will be on Not Even Mad. And here's the premise of the show. Mike plays mediator to one person who thinks one way and one person who thinks the other way. And they yell at each other and then they go out. But we're not even Mad. So we're going to be talking about the. The state of podcasting and pod, the podcast universe, including some noted controversy that has popped up around Joe Rogan and some things he said and some guests that he's had and some things that Sam Harris said about those guests that he had and some pushback Joe got about, you know, some stuff. I won't get into it here. It's not here. But if you want to hear my opinions on that kind of stuff, then check out not even mad. Go to the gist feed. I'll put a link in the show notes tomorrow to go get that. And yeah, that's exciting. Listen to me outside this universe. Okay, so here's one other thing that I wanted to talk about because I think it's important. We had that big conversation about why music festivals are costing so much money. Music, music in general, live events, live entertainment and main. Did we get a lot of response about this? A lot of people shared that they are also fed up with the music prices. They agreed with something that I said, even though I didn't really mean this to be a solution to the problem. I was just making a suggestion that if they would lower the ticket prices, then people would go see more live music more often. They would feel more comfortable spending that budget in other places and supporting more local artists and more live artists and stuff like that. And so, you know, yeah, it seems like a simple economic, like. Like supply and demand kind of thing. You only have so much money, you can only spend it. So many places. You pick one concert a year to go to, essentially because it costs $875,000. And so we've. We talked about this with no intention of running up against Coachella weekend number one. But we did. We ran that right as Coachella weekend number one was. Was happening. So Coachella weekend number one under call. It's in the books. And weekend number two coming up.

Chrissy Joy Odley (36:20)

Yeah, there were a lot of highs and lows.

Brian Green (36:22)

Yeah.

Chrissy Joy Odley (36:23)

From what I read.

Brian Green (36:24)

I will have to say this.

Chrissy Joy Odley (36:24)

I saw. We did. We tuned into some of it and we did see the Missy Elliott set, and it was really good. And the Fila Kutai Kuti his son.

Brian Green (36:33)

Okay. The Kootie Hootie Pooty.

Chrissy Joy Odley (36:34)

Yeah.

Brian Green (36:35)

Fila Kahooti Hooty Pooty. I'm not familiar with some of those artists, but it's hard to be familiar with all of the artists that play at Coachella because ever since day one of Coachella, they have really made a name for themselves being very eclectic and some of the biggest names, but not the names you always think of. Right. Like people who are very popular, but in a viral sense that don't get a lot of, like, mainstream. Bernie was there this Year, which is insane. But I want to. I want to see this about the overall festival, Coachella itself. It seemed like in 2018, Coachella was kind of the apex predator of festivals. And everybody wanted to be Coachella. Everyone wanted to be at Coachella. Ticket prices were in the thousands of dollars on the resale market. It sold out in minutes, literally. And I think that was maybe its eighth or ninth year in 2018, something like that. But I just looked before we came on air this morning, and Coachella's secondary tickets for weekend number two are going basically at face value. And there are still tickets available on the actual Coachella Stagecoach website. So you can get those tickets still now, today, a couple days before it happens, which tells me a couple things. In general, at least. I'm inferring this. I don't think Coachella is the huge deal. It's not at its zenith, let's put it that way. I think it's still a big deal to a lot of people, but I don't think it's at its zenith. It's not at its height of power. And I think a lot of people may be fed up with the idea that they have to pay thousands and thousands of dollars to show up to a really well produced fashion show, essentially. Right. A fashion show with a great playlist, essentially. At the end of the day, yeah, these artists get paid millions of dollars, these headliners, for showing up for 45 minute hour long sets at Coachella. And some of the most famous sets from some of the most famous artists in the world have happened at Coachella. They make news every year because Coachella is a big fucking deal. And it will be for the. For the foreseeable future. But I'm a little bit happy to hear that people aren't so caught up in the hype that, like, there's a little bit of the steam, the foam. The foam is off the head, so to speak. Chrissy, a little bit about Coachella because it tells me that we're pushing back a little bit on the idea that you have to spend $4,000 just for the price of admission to go see these artists that play these 45 minute hour long sets. Travis Scott was there hanging people upside down. What was that about? I have no idea. Can Travis Scott. What do you think about Travis Scott? I know this is a hot button issue, but what do you think about Travis Scott?

Chrissy Joy Odley (39:22)

I mean, I know a lot of people love him. I enjoy some of his music. I guess he's not my first choice to put on, though.

Brian Green (39:31)

No, he's not in my rotation behind Frozen, the car's soundtrack and Huey Lewis in the news, which for some inexplicable reason my children are into right now. He's.

Rachel (39:42)

Now they are.

Brian Green (39:43)

Yeah, don't ask. Yeah.

Chrissy Joy Odley (39:45)

Hello.

Brian Green (39:46)

One of my kids is into We Built this City on rock and roll because it's in one of the animated movies.

Chrissy Joy Odley (39:53)

Those animated movies really do bring stuff back into rotation.

Brian Green (39:57)

Oh, they do. Like, I Will Survive by Gloria Gaynor is now a big in rotation around my house. There's some good ones and then there's some ones like that's like literally named the worst song ever. Ever. And it's on repeat, but there's some hollow notes in there and some stuff that makes it more digestible. And when you're on an seven hour car ride and they're in control of the music, sometimes you got to demand that that song move to the next one. You got to be like, okay, we've heard that enough. No more. We Built this City on rock and roll. It's crap shit. No one likes it. But Coachella had an amazing lineup this year. Travis Scott, to me, he's not my favorite artist. And I do believe like an after.

Chrissy Joy Odley (40:44)

Party or some kind of. He had a special party, I think.

Brian Green (40:48)

Yeah. I mean, I think Travis Scott gets a lot of clout because of who he's married to or used to be married.

Chrissy Joy Odley (40:54)

They're not together anymore. Now she's with Tim and Timothy.

Brian Green (40:57)

Shalom, Shalalala May.

Chrissy Joy Odley (41:00)

There was a lot of PDA going on, apparently.

Brian Green (41:02)

May the shalama my love may live on forever. Good for you, Timothy. Listen. And divorce is hard and separation is hard. And I don't. I. I don't. I'm. I'm not. That's not an enviable position to be in for Travis, I'm sure. And he's a talented artist, no doubt. He's got a lot of people that like his music. And there are some songs that I'm really into. But all of the imagery and the working the crowd up and the hype, I mean, he put people in a pretty dangerous situation last time. Him and the promoters and the, The. The people who put on that festival in Houston and then. I don't. I don't know. I don't know. I have mixed feelings about Travis Scott being. Being at Coachella, but I'm not the guy making the choices, so who fucking cares what I have to say? But Lady Gaga showed up looking like a demon dragon. What is. I know. That's her thing.

Chrissy Joy Odley (41:50)

Amazing.

Brian Green (41:51)

I know that's her thing. I get it. But honestly, these outfits are absolutely wild. She looked like a devil. Like. Like a horned devil coming. And she had those weird fingernails. Yeah. The weird hands and the weird nails. I like my lady Gaga slimmed down with the fashion. I think she's good. She's very fashionable person. Anyway. I could do without all the costumer. Costume dreams, whatever you call it.

Chrissy Joy Odley (42:16)

Dress.

Brian Green (42:17)

I know she did the meat dress, which I'm sure smelled wonderful if you happen to be sitting next to her at the Grammys. Or wasn't it the Grammys that she did the meat dress? Billy Joe Armstrong came out with the Go Go's and played a few. They'll be Green Day will be playing. I think they're playing in weekend number two. Or did they play in weekend number. Oh, maybe they're playing both weekends. Something like that.

Chrissy Joy Odley (42:41)

And there's all of that that's happening with the bassist wife. Did you hear about that?

Brian Green (42:46)

I did. I wanted to talk about that.

Chrissy Joy Odley (42:48)

Yeah. That's pretty crazy. She got shot by the police.

Brian Green (42:51)

Yeah, she got shot by the police because she was threatening to shoot the police, which is just kind of a dumb thing to do. Like, you don't point. She must obviously have some problems.

Chrissy Joy Odley (43:00)

Yeah, there was something going on there.

Brian Green (43:02)

But the weird thing is, is that, like, I don't know, would you then go play no Coachella?

Chrissy Joy Odley (43:11)

I mean, that's the thing.

Brian Green (43:12)

Do you.

Chrissy Joy Odley (43:13)

No. If Jeff had some kind of mental breakdown and was shot by the Georgia Patrol.

Brian Green (43:18)

Yes.

Chrissy Joy Odley (43:19)

I think I would be staying here to help.

Brian Green (43:22)

I. I think I would. Yeah. I think I would bow out of the fashion show that is Coachella. Find somebody else to take my place. I mean, I don't know what the deal is individually with a band, like, what those contracts look like inside of the band, but I gotta imagine there is like some empathy for the fact that your wife just got shot and. Hey, bro, I'm gonna go play Coachella. You know, hey, honey. Playing Coachella. Sorry about all that mental illness. This. That whole gun thing. I'll be a Coachella.

Chrissy Joy Odley (43:51)

It works out.

Brian Green (43:52)

Yeah. I hope it works out.

Chrissy Joy Odley (43:53)

I'll see you after.

Brian Green (43:54)

I guess you never know what's going on in someone's relationship, but you can find a. Like a. A studio basis to fill in something. Something. I mean, doesn't Fleas always around? Isn't Flea always available for that kind of shit? Seems like Flea is a guy you call. Yeah. Whenever your bassist is wife is shot by somebody, call Flea. He's got a Lot of energy. Lady Gaga. Lady Gaga played Benson Boone, Missy Elliott, Marina, Three Sacred Souls, Gabe Gabriel, Tiffany Tyson, the Go Go's Tyla Kneecap. I'm trying to think, I'm trying to give you the bigger ones. Indio in Indo Warehouse. Masio. Yeah, okay. You know. Yeah. Pay $1,000 for that. I don't.

Chrissy Joy Odley (44:49)

I don't know, maybe the face value is for Coachella. I haven't even looked.

Brian Green (44:52)

Depends on what you get. If you could just get regular Coachella tickets.

Chrissy Joy Odley (44:55)

Regular ticks?

Brian Green (44:56)

Yeah, if you get regular ticks, then it's like $576. If you get the Coachella plus, which is, I don't know, you get pictures taken of you for TMZ. No, it's not VIP. That's a whole different animal. Those are like $1400, but there's like a 900 version that's like Coachella Plus. And I don't know what that means, but I guess you get early entry, which, by the way, a lot of people who were there for early entry camping. Yes. Spent 12 to 16 hours trying to get in.

Chrissy Joy Odley (45:26)

And they said it was explained because I guess in the past parking was kind of first come, first serve, but this year there was some kind of reserved parking.

Brian Green (45:35)

Yeah, it sounds like. Go back to the other way. Yeah. When you, when you're doing this for like 15 years and everybody's used to doing it one way, don't then switch it up all of a sudden without a lot of guidance or information, which is apparently what a lot of people are complaining about. They said, I read the instructions on the website. Sounded like the instructions from last year. And then all of a sudden we get there and it's taking us three hours to get in the front door and then another 12 hours to get in the security checkpoint point. So that was so Missy Elliot, Lady Gaga, Benson Boone were the big ones on Friday. Then you had Travis Scott, Green Day, Charlie xcx, T. Pain, Jimmy Eat World on Saturday. Yeah. Okay. Green Day, Travis Scott, Charlie xex, T Pain, Jimmy Eat World, Jimmy Eat World, Jimmy Eat World. I guess it's time for them to come back. Yeah, I did like a couple of their songs.

Chrissy Joy Odley (46:25)

Yeah. I can't remember what they are, but.

Brian Green (46:26)

Yeah, I always thought they were like on the edge of cool. Like they were like doing something a little bit different than all the, like, like Harry Cockrock that was out at the time. Like, I. I don't know, Like, I hate to say it because I know they're the. The butt of the joke, but let's make them the butt of the joke. I mean. Yeah, okay. I. I'm not gonna. I won't shit on you today. Old 90s cockroach. Old 2000s cockrock band on Sunday. Post Malone, Megan D, Stallion, Shaboozi I Love Jack Glam, Jr. H Post Malone, Megan Thee, Stallion, Jack Glam, Shaboozy. That's. That sounds like a cool one, right? Wouldn't you want to do that?

Chrissy Joy Odley (47:09)

Yeah.

Brian Green (47:10)

So this weekend, Lady Gaga's playing Missy Elliot. Oh, it's just the same. They're just repeating the same. Oh, right.

Chrissy Joy Odley (47:16)

That's right. I forget that there's there two weekends.

Brian Green (47:19)

Oh, it's two weekends, and all the main stages are the same. Okay. All right. I guess that's one way to do it, you know?

Chrissy Joy Odley (47:28)

And then do you get a ticket? Your ticket only goes.

Brian Green (47:31)

Only. It's only one weekend. You got to buy a ticket per weekend. I think I prefer the way they do it at Bonnaroo, which is just one weekend. Yeah, get her done. Now I understand, like, Coachella owns that big piece of land out there. I believe they do. And they got to make that work. They got to make their money. It's very expensive. It's very expensive to get there. They put on these shows, they pay these artists a ton of money, so you really got to squeeze every dollar you can out of everybody. But I like Bonnaroo once a year. I'd like the idea of Bonnaroo. I didn't actually like Bonnaroo. I just like the idea of Bonnaroo because the one time I went to Bonnaroo, I wasn't even there 48 hours. I had to go home.

Chrissy Joy Odley (48:09)

Jeff and I were just talking about that.

Brian Green (48:12)

That was wild. That was wild. So two weekends, same people playing. Both weekends make it different, like, bring in some, you know, new blood. And that way you can suck more money out of those people willing to pay all of that money. But then I also read that there's almost 14 million people that will stream one of the two weekends.

Chrissy Joy Odley (48:32)

That's what we did on Friday night.

Brian Green (48:34)

How much was that?

Chrissy Joy Odley (48:35)

I. I don't think it costs us any money, but Jeff has access to Nugs. I think maybe it was on Nuggets.

Brian Green (48:42)

Okay. Nugs. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Chrissy Joy Odley (48:43)

And he's like a paid member.

Brian Green (48:44)

Okay. So you can just kind of like. Like, you can watch it if you can't be there. And obviously not everybody can go there. They can't be there.

Chrissy Joy Odley (48:52)

So the camping has kept me away. I don't want to go camp in the desert.

Brian Green (48:57)

Not interested in doing any additional camping at a festival. Not the main majority of my camping at festivals has not been at mainstream festivals either. Been Jam Land Productions, which you can only imagine I probably wasn't getting any sleep. Or at a party in the woods, which you can only imagine I probably wasn't getting much sleep. As a matter of fact, I think I was the last one. The last time I went to a party in the woods, there was a huge bonfire and there was a drum circle at like 2:30 in the morning after the music had shut down. And we're not talking Coachella stages, we're talking a stage some dude built three days ahead of time that we're all gonna be lucky if it survives the weekend. And it's like your buddy who plays guitar at the party that you really hate finally gets a chance to stand on stage with a microphone.

Chrissy Joy Odley (49:46)

I'm surprised you didn't display your musical abilities.

Brian Green (49:49)

Who says I didn't? Who says I didn't? As a matter of fact, one year I went up and sang a Doors cover in a kilt with no underwear.

Chrissy Joy Odley (50:02)

Now this.

Brian Green (50:04)

Some people really enjoyed it. Some people really enjoyed it.

Chrissy Joy Odley (50:08)

I'm picturing this.

Brian Green (50:09)

And it's funny if, if I was to tell, but if I had to take the temperature of the crowd. Now you have to imagine this is a rusted root, Grateful Dead fish kind of crowd. And Brian goes up to play a cover of the Doors. The end.

Chrissy Joy Odley (50:24)

You did the end.

Brian Green (50:25)

A 15 minute cover at the end. The musicians were fantastic, by the way. I did it no justice. But there was a couple hundred people standing in front of me when I started. And some people were still standing when I ended. Some of those people floated off to a bar. I mean, this is a huge area in the woods. We're talking like 200 acres. And there's people camping all over the place. Thousands of people camping all over the place. But. So you go down near this barn, there's this big field. It's been cleared out. There's camping all up in the. There's hills and mountains. There's camping all up in it. And you can. The drum circle calls. Calls everybody to the campfire. The drum circle. The music's off. The bars are. Yeah, the bars are always open. But you know, it's if, if a bartender stayed up, like it's all volunteers. So I've. I volunteered a lot at the bar because then I could just drink for free. But the, the drum circle is calling me. So I think I was actually bartending when the drum circle started, I just kind of floated off to the drum circle. Sorry. See you in the morning. And there's girls dancing around the fire. Everyone's drumming. I'm drumming. And then I start dancing because now I'm incredibly intoxicated. And there is this beautiful woman who I've just been watching dance for, like, 30, 45 minutes. Beautiful. I know her name. I'm friends with her on Facebook. She's, like, mesmerizing. Right? Or was that night? Anyway, and so she's running around. She's got this little necklace with a. I don't even know how to explain it. It's like a little jar. Like a little tiny little mason jar. Like a mini mason jar, and it's got liquid in it. And she's running around, and she's dancing. And then I start dancing, and then, you know, we're kind of in each other's space, you know, dancing the ethereal dance. Like. Ooh. Like moving hands at each other. It's the drum drug circle dance. That's right. And she opens up her little mason jar, and she takes a swig and she goes, want some? And I was like, yeah. I thought it was liquor. I thought it was moonshine. But 30 minutes, 40 minutes later, I realized it was not moonshine, but I don't know what it was. But I ended up being the last person up at the party in the woods. The last person up. The only other people that were up were the people that were, like, on duty for security. So at 4 or 5 in the.

Chrissy Joy Odley (52:46)

Morning, or people that were waking up.

Brian Green (52:48)

Up People. Yeah, people that were waking. I'm sure there were people up, but they were in their camps. In their campsite. I couldn't be sure I was the exact last person up. But there were security, you know, like. But they're not really security guards or, like, guys with long hair that, you know, are sober, that are volunteered to stand watch for who? I don't know for what. I'm not sure. And the people at the medical tent, too. There were some people. So everyone eventually falls off, off, and I'm the last guy standing, and I'm dancing to myself. And I'm now realizing I had not been given moonshine. And so I'm walking, walking around. This is like hundreds of acres. I'm walking around, trying to find people that are awake that I can talk to. So I'm talking to the security guards for, you know, talking their air off until they eventually just stop talking to, like, you know, stop talking to me. So That I can go away. Then I go to the medical tent. Do you need medical help? No. But did you see the moon tonight? How about that drum circle? It's so good, you know? Peace be with you. You know, it is what it is. I love all creatures. Those trees are beautiful. All with one, you know? Meanwhile, they're like, fuck you, dude. Fuck you. I'm on medical duty here. I don't have time to be drugging and drinking. Fuck you. And so I just walked myself into a stupor until I eventually fell asleep at like, 8 in the morning. Morning. And I woke up in the most uncomfortable state I had ever been in. Hot, sweaty, still hot morning sun. Oh, it's just like baking me in that tent. And I was with somebody, too, and she was mad at me because whatever. And, like, so we're baking in this tent, sweating on each other. It's just like, the whole situation is gross. I will never camp again in a festival. Yeah, Never. I'm going to camp only if Armageddon comes and I need to stay outside my own backyard where I can still have the bathroom inside. If the plumbing stops, I'll camp outside. Okay, that's it. It's the only reason I'm gonna do that. All right, why don't we do this, Chrissy, let's take a break and we'll talk more about sweaty, sweaty trailer. Sweaty, sweaty trailer. I had the option to go in the sweaty, sweaty trailer, but, yeah, I wasn't convinced the air conditioning was working. I think that was just a. They were trying to get me in there. That's right for something.

Chrissy Joy Odley (55:06)

Yes, they were.

Brian Green (55:07)

Yes, they were. All right, we'll be back.

Rachel (55:13)

Hey, it's Rachel, your new voice of God here on tcb. And just like you, I'm wondering just how much longer this podcast can continue. Let's all rejoice that another episode has made it to your ears. And I'll rejoice that my check is in the mail. Speaking of mail, get your free TCB sticker in the mail by going to tcbpodcast.com and visiting the Contact Us page. You can also find the entire commercial break library audio and video, just in case you want to look at chrissy@tcbpodcast.com Want your voice to be on an episode of the show? Leave us a message at 212-4333, TCB. That's 212-433-382. Tell us how much you love us and we'll be sure to let the world know on a future episode or you could make fun of us. That'd be fine, too. We might not air that, but maybe. Oh, and if you're shy, that's okay. Just send a text, we'll respond. Now I'm gonna go check the mailbox for payment while you check out our sponsors. And then we'll return to this episode of the Commercial break.

Brian Green (56:12)

Can we talk just for a minute? And I know this is the last person you wanna hear any opinions about this from, but I gotta throw this out there. Can we talk about Blue Origin for a second? The new shepherd. Yeah, Fucking PR stunt that happened to a couple days ago with Katy Perry, Oprah's best friend, Gayle King Sanchez. What is her name? Sanchez. Lauren Sanchez.

Chrissy Joy Odley (56:37)

Yeah.

Brian Green (56:37)

And then some other, like, people who actually are doing stuff, doing stuff, have some reason to actually want to go to spiritual face. So in case you have your head directly up your ass. Five, six women.

Chrissy Joy Odley (56:53)

Yeah, I mean, it was the all female crew.

Brian Green (56:55)

All female to that dick penis ride up to. Not even space, but we're going to call it space because why not the Carmen line, what they call it? So that we can float around for two and a half minutes, yell and scream into the microphone and then come back down to earth and yell and scream some more and then make a big dramatic scene.

Chrissy Joy Odley (57:14)

Kiss the ground.

Brian Green (57:14)

Kiss the ground. Make a big dramatic PR scene scene. We'll have the Kardashians there doing live commentary and Oprah crying. And, you know, Jeff Bezos meeting you at the door because God forbid, falling on his face. That's true.

Chrissy Joy Odley (57:28)

He face planted.

Brian Green (57:29)

He's a. He's a boner. There are so many things on this earth right now, in this country, right now, in this world right now to be concerned about, to give attention to, to give press to you. I am not arguing that the all female crew is not an admirable thing to give some props to. But this is a huge PR stunt. No doubt about it. It is absolutely almost meaningless in a lot of ways because they are doing nothing. They are advancing nothing about space or space travel. They have done this a number of times. You can pay a couple million dollars and do it yourself. You can actually go and book a reservation on Blue Origin's website to get up there yourself if you have that kind of money. And if, I guess, if Jeff Bezos chooses you, I don't know how that whole process works.

Chrissy Joy Odley (58:24)

You could go to the Fry Festival or you could go to.

Brian Green (58:26)

You could go to the Fyre Festival or you could go to the top of the Carmen line. Which is basically just a little higher than an airplane can go. Let's be real about this. It's not space. It's not actual space. It's high enough to see the curvature of the air Earth. It's high enough to be a little weightless because of the way that the. Where you are, the gravity is no longer holding you down as much. But you haven't even left the atmosphere of the Earth and you're doing no experimentation whatsoever. You are advancing no cause whatsoever. You are just taking a really expensive ride into space and sucking up people's attention for, in my opinion, not the best of reasons. I do not argue the female aspect of this is not my place to say. It's not for me to say whether or not that's good, bad or indifferent. But what it clearly is is a PR stunt of epic proportions and one that failed miserably to do anything for anything. I mean, to do anything for anything. Yeah, it's just dumb. It's just dumb. And I really wish that Jeff Bezos, Lauren Sanchez, Gayle King, Katy Perry, those people specifically would put their time and attention and money, PR abilities and money into a lot better things. Like, let's say, run down to El Salvador and save that father who's been. Who will now spend the rest of his life rotting in an El Salvadorian prison for no good reason. Because people just want to dig their heels in and decide they're not wrong for any reason whatsoever. And without getting into all the politics of that, I think we can all agree that's a really shitty situation. That if you put yourself in those shoes, what a fucking nightmare. Or the mother or the children of those people. Why doesn't Lauren Sanchez and Jeff Bezos take their dick shaped rocket and fly down to El Salvador and raise some time and attention and money to getting that guy out of prison. I'm not arguing the criminals and the people who are here are legally. That's not. I'm not getting into that argument here. Here, check me out. I'm not even mad. Am I getting in that argument here. But that dude is there clearly in the wrong and it's even been admitted and they won't let him out.

Chrissy Joy Odley (60:41)

It's so crazy, I don't even know what's happening. I mean, by the time this airs, something might have changed.

Brian Green (60:48)

Might as. But I don't think so.

Chrissy Joy Odley (60:50)

The Supreme Court said return him.

Brian Green (60:53)

Return him. And they're saying no. So the law means nothing. The justice system means nothing. It's being used to penalize people, to it's being used to disappear people just like they did in Ireland in the 80s, 70s and 80s disappear people. And if we get a few wrong, oh well, oh well. Those people have children and wives. They're real human beings with actual feelings. You admitted you're wrong. Now bring them home.

Chrissy Joy Odley (61:22)

Yeah. What's the reason that they're saying they're not?

Brian Green (61:24)

They say that he had speeding tickets. They say that he is part of the MS.13 gang. When a judge, multiple judges already found that he does not. And he has reason to fear the MS.13 gang. This is just a clear clusterfuck. It's a clear mistake. And there are so many things wrong with this, it's not even funny. But we're all going to spend the next hour watching a meaningless, really high flight into not even space. Just doesn't make any sense to me. I'm sorry, it just falls flat. I think it's tone deaf in so many ways and I really, really wish that those people, specifically with so much power, money, you know, resources available to them, would do something good with that, that time, energy and effort. Something good, just like a little bit. Because this was not that. And I might be wrong. You may find it, you may find a whole slew of reasons why this was wonderful for humanity. But, but please tell them to. Please tell them to me. Please tell them to me. I don't get it. I'm sorry, Chrissy. I'm sorry. I wanted to like this. I wanted to be like, this is good, good for these girls. Like, you know, good for humanity, good for all this other stuff. But then I watched it and it's just like a clear. I watched it, I read about it, I listened to Katy Perry drone on and on about it. It's Katy Perry just droned on and on.

Chrissy Joy Odley (62:48)

I mean, a lot of people were definitely questioning the choice there.

Brian Green (62:53)

Yeah. And do we have to do so much screaming? Like, first of all, they didn't even show the inside of the capsule. Like, if you're gonna televise this as like the world's biggest PR stunt.

Chrissy Joy Odley (63:05)

Yeah.

Brian Green (63:06)

@ least show the inside for humanity and for the advancement of, you know, female causes. At least show the ladies in space, or what you're calling space, don't leave us hanging. All I saw was a rocket go really, really, really far away and then come really, really, really back down to earth. That was so stupid. Why didn't. Don't. I mean, if Musk can get it right, Bezos, I bet you have enough money, time, energy and effort to get it Right yourself. But here we are just stuck with a picture of a rocket that's like the size of one pixel, and then it comes back down, and all you can hear is these girls screaming their heads off. It's like, oh, my God. Oh, my.

Chrissy Joy Odley (63:46)

God. I didn't listen to.

Brian Green (63:47)

It. Didn't they prepare themselves? Isn't there someone on the ground who's like, listen, listen. It's gonna go really fast. You're gonna feel some GS, you're gonna be weightless, and you're gonna come down real fast.

Chrissy Joy Odley (63:57)

Okay?

Brian Green (63:58)

Yeah. Be.

Chrissy Joy Odley (63:58)

Prepared. The whole thing was 10.

Brian Green (64:00)

Minutes. I think 10 and a half minutes. 10 and a half minutes. I've had sex that's lasted longer than that. That's saying something that's on a good night. But ten and a half minutes is. No, no. Neil Armstrong went to the moon. It took him like, 11 days. Those people just came back from nine months in space. Nine fucking months. And they only expected to be there for two weeks. Those two. Those two are fucking real astronauts. Those two did something. They continued to work while they were up.

Chrissy Joy Odley (64:31)

There. They said, well, expensive.

Brian Green (64:32)

Ride. Yeah. Shitty situation. Let's get to work and advance the human race. Like, let's figure some shit out while we're up here. Those people just yelling and screaming into a microphone and a camera that doesn't even work. It's crazy. That's crazy. And while we're at it, can we change the shape of the rocket ship? It does look like a.

Chrissy Joy Odley (64:51)

Penis. Oh.

Brian Green (64:52)

100%. And it's small. It's small, isn't it? Isn't it small? It's like a small penis. It's like a micro penis. I mean, if you're gonna take a penis to space, make it a big penis. Like, get it thick and girthy. Put some testicles on.

Chrissy Joy Odley (65:08)

It. Well, doesn't it look like it has them Is it goes up, but then those come off or.

Brian Green (65:13)

Something? No, it's got. It's just one little rocket. It's a rocket with a. Like a penis head shape on top of it. And then the shaft falls off and the head rides up in space. I mean, put some potatoes on that thing. Put some testicles. You know those testicles that hang off the back of people's trucks in Florabama, in Orange.

Chrissy Joy Odley (65:33)

Beach.

Brian Green (65:34)

Yeah. Okay. All right. Put some of those, but make them really big and just have them right up there with Katy Perry. It would be perfect. Her big line was. Was where I'm putting the ass back in.

Chrissy Joy Odley (65:46)

Astronaut. I.

Brian Green (65:46)

Know. Oh, thank God you're there. Thank God you're there. A shining example for all the young ladies who want to be astronauts. Putting the ass back in astronaut. You think she came up with that on her own, or does I take a whole PR team to do that? I mean, come on, Katy. There was a time when I liked Katy Perry. There was a time when I was like Katy Perry. She's funny and she's interesting and she's, you know.

Chrissy Joy Odley (66:10)

Know. She kisses girls and likes.

Brian Green (66:12)

It. Yeah, she kisses girls and she likes it. She's a little wild. Then she came out with that dumb video where her boobs were sparking and shooting. It's like, ah, come on, what are we doing here? And now she put the ass back in astronaut. Katie, you're welcome back. You're welcome on the show now anytime. Although I'm sure you're a hard get now that you're an astronaut. You're welcome on the show anytime to explain yourself. But what exactly did this do for anybody? I'm just wondering. And Gayle King. I ain't got nothing against Gayle King. I ain't got a goddamn thing against Gayle King. Seems like a perfectly lovely human being. She's famous because her best friend is famous, just like me. Chrissy. I'm famous because you're.

Chrissy Joy Odley (66:49)

Famous. It's the.

Brian Green (66:50)

Same. I pulled you right up by the boat. You pulled me right up by the bootstraps. Look at that. But that Oprah there, crying like a mishmash. It's like, oh, my God. I mean, I can understand. Your best friend's going into.

Chrissy Joy Odley (67:03)

Space. It's a big deal. But like, you're saying, what did it really accomplish in the scope of what's happening right now in the world, which. There's a lot, a lot, a lot that needs to be addressed. There's a lot of programs that are being cut. There's a lot of stuff that's. That's happening. And I do feel like that money could have gone towards something.

Brian Green (67:21)

Else. Anything else. Yeah, the commercial break. I mean, come on, Jeff, pay us to do some episodes for you. I just, just. I know. I have a feeling that there are some people who are really powerful with a lot of money that have just gone full off the deep end, megalomaniac, like, you know, evil character in a movie kind of thing. And we all know who those are.

Chrissy Joy Odley (67:48)

Dr.

Brian Green (67:49)

Evil. Dr. Evil. We can. We can point them out clearly. And I think on. No matter how you feel about politics, you're probably in agreement at some level that we, we agree on this. But I think there are some who may have a softer heart, who may be a little bit more level headed, who have capitulated because they're scared or because they don't want to be on the wrong side of whatever. Yes, I'd like to think. I'd like to think, though I don't know this to be true, I'd like to think that Jeff Bezos might be one of those people, right? And he built the largest company in the world, one of the largest retail company. The largest retail company in the world that changed all of our lives. And he did it by selling used books. That's how he started, by selling used books. He had a vision and he took it to the nth degree. And now he's putting people in low atmosphere orbit. I don't know what you call it, low atmosphere orbit. But I believe that he could probably do some good with all of that power, that.

Chrissy Joy Odley (68:54)

Money. I think so.

Brian Green (68:55)

Too. That big yacht he's got, can he take that big yacht down somewhere and stage a rescue? Yeah, I imagine those people, they gotta have like paramilitary people around them, right? They gotta have like connections to paramilitary. Like you're not that rich, everybody, and you haven't talked to a few paramilitary people about what would happen if this happens or that happens. And you know, I'm gonna get on my yacht, you're gonna protect me and all that stuff. Use those people. Like get down there and use those people. And that El Salvadorian president, what is, who is he? What? That beard looks completely fake, by the way. I don't know who's doing his beard, but that beard looks like it was taped on. I'm sorry. He looks like a character in a Naked Gun movie. He really does. That's Sal Salvadorian Butele or whatever his name is. He looks weird to me. He looks too young to be having a fake beard on, but he does. I don't know. Anyway, he is kissing some major ass. Listen. But one can hardly blame El Salvador for wanting to get in bed with the most absolutely powerful government in the world because they desperately need help to pull themselves out of an insane kind of desperation and poverty. And the El Salvadorian people are proud. They're beautiful, they're lovely. And they have, you know, elected an idiot, no doubt, but elected in quotations. Yeah, in quotations. That's right. They just re elected, you know, by whatever 107% is. 107% even exist. I mean, come on. But they are a proud people and, you know, one can hardly Fault them for wanting to figure out a way out of the current situation, which has largely been created by countries like the United States. But, I mean, can we all stand on principle? I know it's so 2007 to talk about being, you know, being principled, but can we please just be principled for one minute? Can we follow the rule of law a little bit? Can we agree that when something is wrong, we should try our best to make it right? And can we agree when another human being is in such a shitty situation that we can come together and figure out how to fix it? That doesn't make you weak. It doesn't make you worse. It doesn't make you. It doesn't change your political beliefs. Doesn't do any of that. It just says that when we do something wrong, we're going to figure out how to make it right. That goes for both sides of the.

Chrissy Joy Odley (71:29)

Aisle.

Brian Green (71:29)

Yes. And if you ain't got a clue yet, check out Bernie Sanders talking to, like, 57,000 people in San Francisco or a hundred thousand people in Coachella. Something's.

Chrissy Joy Odley (71:41)

Happening. And he had, like, 20,000 show up, I think, in.

Brian Green (71:44)

Idaho. Utah, yeah. Utah and.

Chrissy Joy Odley (71:46)

Idaho.

Brian Green (71:46)

Yeah. Something's going on. I like. I don't know. The heartbeat seems to be beating in a little bit of a different direction right now. And that, you know, I might be living in a. In a bubble, but I don't think I am. I watch all the different news channels. I check it all out, and something's going on. So maybe this kid down in El Salvador and his family have a chance. Maybe. Let's see. I feel so bad for this because I can. I see how easily this could be any of us. Any of us. They're talking about deporting citizens who may or may not be on the right side of whatever opinion happens to be in vogue right now. And that is fucking insanity. It's insanity. And if you don't think so, turn the commercial break off. That's all I gotta say. Don't give a shit. I don't need your dollars. All right, let's end on that note. And on that note, Ryan's fired up. I'm read and.

Chrissy Joy Odley (72:41)

Ready. You're ready for your.

Brian Green (72:42)

Baby. I came back on vacation. I came. Yeah, I was thinking about it a lot on.

Chrissy Joy Odley (72:46)

Vacation. How can you.

Brian Green (72:47)

Not. Yeah. I was looking at my children going, what happens if I was a hundred thousand miles away with no way to communicate, no hope, nothing that not even the highest court in the land. Land. Couldn't figure it out. If they Couldn't figure it out. And good for the highest court in the land for unanimously saying, this is wrong. Dude. Gotta fix it. But, you know, Bukaki or whatever his name is and whatever the other guy's name is. Miller. Stephen Miller. They've decided. Nope, can't do it.

Chrissy Joy Odley (73:16)

Sorry. Yeah, it's.

Brian Green (73:19)

Scary. Yeah, it's scary. All right, well, I'm sure I'll get a lot of opinions about this, so I'm gonna turn my phone off.

Chrissy Joy Odley (73:25)

Now. You're gonna go on another.

Brian Green (73:27)

Vacation? I'm gonna go on another vacation. See you down in Florabama, kids. See you down in Florabama. Orange beach visit. It's not a bad place. Not even mad. I'll be there.

Chrissy Joy Odley (73:37)

On. You got the T.

Brian Green (73:38)

Shirt. I did. I got a T.

Chrissy Joy Odley (73:39)

Shirt. Like.

Brian Green (73:40)

It. Astrid said, you got to get a T shirt. And I'm like, I don't need to spend the money. But then I found this one. I liked.

Chrissy Joy Odley (73:44)

It. I like it a.

Brian Green (73:45)

Lot. Yeah, they had the really expensive souvenir store, and then they had, like, the sur surf shop. And I went to the surf.

Chrissy Joy Odley (73:51)

Shop. Of.

Brian Green (73:52)

Course. Yeah, I'm gonna buy a 50t shirt for Orange Beach. Are you.

Chrissy Joy Odley (73:55)

Crazy? Like a golf.

Brian Green (73:56)

Shirt? Yeah, I noticed there's a lot more people in the cheap souvenir store than there were in the expensive one. Just saying, you know, bring those prices down a little bit. All right, I'll be on not even mad. You can find the gist or not even mad. Google it. Apple. I'll put a link in the show notes tomorrow. That's Thursday of the week as you're listening to this. That's what the. Is that the.

Chrissy Joy Odley (74:18)

16Th? Today's the.

Brian Green (74:21)

15Th. 15th, 16th, 17th. It's the 17th. On the 17th. I'll be on not even Mad with Mike Pesca. Tune in. I'd appreciate it. He'd appreciate it. We'd all appreciate it. You can listen to me opine some more on things we never talk about here on the commercial break for good reason. And May 31, 12 hours of.

Chrissy Joy Odley (74:39)

TCB.

Brian Green (74:42)

Hey. Now, in coordination with our friends at Odyssey, our good friends at Odyssey, announcement to make about that soon CTB and Covert Creative. Okay, tcbpodcast.com get your free sticker on the contact us button at the commercial break on Instagram and YouTube.com the commercial break for all the episodes on video the same day they air here on audio. Okay, Chrissy, that's all I can do for right.

Chrissy Joy Odley (75:05)

Now. I think.

Brian Green (75:06)

So. But I'll tell you that I. I love.

Chrissy Joy Odley (75:07)

You. I love.

Brian Green (75:08)

You. Best to you. Best to you and best to you out there in the podcast universe. Until next time, Chrissy and I do sick. We will sick. And we must say goodbye.