Click Click Chiropracty!

Summary

The Commercial Break Podcast

Episode: Click Click Chiropracty!

Release Date: March 6, 2026
Hosts: Bryan Green & Krissy (Kristen Joy) Hoadley

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Overview

In this classically chaotic and hilarious episode of The Commercial Break, Bryan and Krissy dive deep into the fringe world of chiropractic medicine, riffing on the “click click” culture of the industry while poking fun at pseudoscience, wellness trends, and massage parlor mysteries. True to form, their conversations spill into pop culture reboots, influencer excitement, Instagram fame, awkward public encounters, and the ever-fraught saga of Britney Spears. If you love irreverent banter laced with real-life anecdotes, this episode is for you.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Click Click Chiropractic — Silliness and Skepticism

Starts at [01:51]

• Bryan's Riff on Chiropractic Clinics:
  Bryan and Krissy lampoon the world of alternative health, especially chiropractors who use inexpensive “clickers” (adjustment tools that sound impressive but may do little).

  • “Come on down to Brian's Chiropractic clinic. Click click. Click click. What's wrong? You have one testicle. I click click. There's the other one. I bring it back. Click click.” — Bryan ([02:03])
  • “You can't get boner. I click click.” ([02:26])

• Skepticism Around the Profession:
  Both hosts express a fondness for getting a satisfying spinal crack but are highly skeptical of upsells, “monthly subscriptions,” and the pseudo-medical approach adopted by some practitioners.

  • Bryan recounts hearing a real doctor (Dr. Justin on Instagram) debunk chiropractor “diagnoses” by pointing out that what they call “inflamed tissue” is just poop on a scan ([08:34]).

• Chiropractors and Physicality:
  Observations on the image and lifestyle cultivated by the industry. Almost all chiropractors seen are fit, attractive, and seem to project a holistic lifestyle.

  • “I dare you to find a fat chiropractor. They don't exist.” — Bryan ([13:51])

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2. Streaming, Rhinos, and Scrubs Reboots

Starts at [03:33]

• Parenting Anecdotes:
  Bryan shares a story about bonding with his daughter over Instagram animal videos, leading to a raucous discussion about rhinoceroses, diarrhea, and educational misadventures.

  • “So my daughter says, is that what it's like when you have diarrhea? And I'm like, minus the big cat in my ass.” — Bryan ([04:27])

• TV Nostalgia & Streaming Culture:
  A tangent on the reboot of "Scrubs" and the rise of streaming platforms. Both hosts recall catching shows only occasionally pre-streaming and now revisit old favorites.

  • “Now would be a good time to reboot [Scrubs] because everything is streaming.” — Krissy ([06:10])

• Comparison to "St. Denis Medical":
  Admiration for other quirky medical comedies and a reflection on character, humor style, and streaming’s impact on content.

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3. Massage Parlor Mayhem and Adult Humor

Starts at [14:36]

• Questionable Massage Experiences:
  Tales of massage parlors in New York getting “way too comfortable” and the not-so-hidden world of “hand shandies” (happy endings).

  • “If you're getting a hand shandy and it's consulting adults, perfect, fine, wonderful. I love it. Good for you, good for her, good for them, good for everybody. Sex work is real, is work. That's it.” — Bryan ([16:18])
  • “But if you're going up for like a regular massage and they're like, like, you know, taking off your towel in the middle of a massage, they can get a quick peek at your undercarriage...” — Bryan ([16:38])

• Differentiating Real Massages from Fronts:
  The local Atlanta massage place tale: if it’s open 24/7 in a strip mall, “it’s definitely giving you a hand shandy.”

  • “If I don't want a hand shandy, it's unlikely that I should even walk in there for a massage.” ([17:56])

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4. Instagram Fame, Viral Reels, and 90s MTV Nostalgia

Starts at [24:16]

• Viral Reel Success:
  Bryan shares excitement over a viral Instagram Reel about responding to his wife’s fashion queries, and being noticed by celebrities like Kristin Chenoweth and Daisy Fuentes.

  • “Kay Chenoweth liked and shared your post...whoa, the OG Glinda.” — Bryan ([25:59])
  • “But then a day later, Daisy Fuentes. Oh, Daisy liked and commented on your post...It is my first Latina love.” — Bryan ([26:34])

• MTV & Daisy Fuentes Fandom:
  Discussion of 90s MTV, early reality TV (“The Real World”), fashion programming, and the deep impression Daisy Fuentes left on adolescent Bryan.

  • “Those formative years. 13, 14, 15 years old, when Daisy Fuentes is in my bedroom with me talking about high fashion, and I am talking back to her...” ([30:05])

• Perspective on Social Metrics:
  Reflection on the meaninglessness of social media follower counts, how many are bots, and the fleeting thrill of influencer “validation.”

  • “You don't turn into a celebrity because you have 20,000 Instagram followers. It doesn't happen like that. That's just 20,000 people that happen to think you were cute on a certain day.” — Bryan ([32:38])

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5. Awkward Public Encounters

Starts at [33:52]

• The Starbucks-Jason Story:
  Bryan tells a bizarre/funny tale of meeting an eccentric old man at Starbucks who insists Bryan is named “Jason,” then reveals his own name is Jason, and recounts slipping in milk at Publix.

  • “When we met, it was Jason.” — Starbucks guy ([34:55])
  • “My memory does not disserve me.” — Starbucks guy ([38:33])

• Staff Backstory:
  Barista confirms the man’s real name is John, not Jason; everyone is vaguely exasperated by his antics.

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6. Britney Spears, Sobriety & Celebrity Downfalls

Starts at [42:42]

• Britney’s DUI and Rehab:
  Commentary on Britney Spears’ latest troubles, with empathy for her struggles and confusion at her choices.

  • “You should never be driving yourself...You are a billionaire.” — Krissy ([42:43])

• Mental Health & Celebrity Pressure:
  Discussion of mental illness, addiction, famous meltdowns, and the toxic pressures of early fame, with references to documentaries and pop culture coverage.

• Steve-O’s Recovery Story:
  Comparison to Steve-O’s spiral and recovery, highlighting the possibility of rebounding from even the lowest points.

  • “Steve-O is now reflecting on that time in his life and sharing kind of inside information. He said he went through about a hundred failed interventions...” — Bryan ([52:03])

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Notable Quotes & Funniest Moments

• On Chiropractic "Clickers":

  “That is a child's toy that you're using to try and make me believe that you're fixing something.” — Bryan ([08:54])
  “If there's clickers in your chiropractic, get out. If there's click, click chiropractic going on, it's not for you.” — Bryan ([13:07])

• On Instagram Fame:

  “Daisy Fuentes, in my opinion, my humble opinion, is one stunning woman.” — Bryan ([27:13])

• Bryan on Massage Parlors:

  “If I don't want a hand shandy, it's unlikely that I should even walk in there for a massage.” ([17:56])

• On Awkward Public Encounters:

  “My memory does not disserve me.” — Starbucks guy to Bryan ([38:33])

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Timestamps for Important Segments

| Segment Theme | Start Time | |--------------------------------------|-------------| | Chiropractic satire begins | [01:51] | | Animal Instagram, rhino story | [03:33] | | Scrubs reboot, TV nostalgia | [05:33] | | Dr. Justin vs. Chiropractor “poop” | [08:34] | | Life College & body image riff | [13:35] | | Sketchy massages & “hand shandy” | [14:36] | | Viral Instagram reel, celeb likes | [24:16] | | Daisy Fuentes & 90s MTV | [26:34] | | Perspective on social media fame | [32:38] | | Starbucks “Jason” story | [33:52] | | Britney Spears DUI/recovery tangent | [42:42] | | Steve-O’s addiction & rebound | [51:08] |

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Conclusion & Tone

This episode is a quintessential Commercial Break ride: unstructured, endlessly tangential, and full of self-aware, off-kilter humor. The tone is irreverent and spontaneous with a mix of sarcasm, affection, and real concern—whether the hosts are fake-selling “click click” chiropractic magic, fanboying over Instagram likes, or earnestly rooting for recovery stories. If you’re here for inside jokes, pop culture riffs, and the twisted joy of Bryan and Krissy’s friendship, this one is “just FINE”—and fully in the spirit of TCB’s wild, non-linear universe.

Transcript

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[Brian Green]

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[Brian Green]

You know, your mind has a lot of sway over your body. If you're feeling sick, you can make yourself sick. If you're feeling great, you can be great. Chiropracty. Chiropractors.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Chiropracty.

[Brian Green]

Chiropracty. Chiropractic. Come on down to Brian's Chiropractic clinic. Click click. Click click. Come down to Brian's Click click Chiropractic. Click click. What's wrong? You have one testicle. I click click. There's the other one. I bring it back. Click click.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

You could probably get some business.

[Brian Green]

You can't get boner. I click click. Brian. Click click.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Chiropracty you can sell Y. Brian 3000.

[Brian Green]

Why Brian 3000. Rub a little on. Click, click.

[Marie Callender's Advertiser]

The next episode of the commercial break starts now.

[Brian Green]

Oh, yeah. Cass and kittens, welcome back to the commercial break. I'm Brian Green. This is my dear friend and the co star, the co host of this show, Kristen Joy Hoadley. Best you, Chris in.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Best you, Brian.

[Brian Green]

Best you out there in the podcast universe. That's what happens when you get out of practice for a minute. Yeah, you get out of practice. And we had to take a couple days off because a little stomach bug running around the house. But thank you very much for hanging in there. Hi everybody in the stream.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yes, thank you for the happy birthday wishes.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, happy birthday wishes to. Oh, happy birthday wishes to you. People texted in and said happy birthday just to let you know. And then South Georgia Sean also had a birthday. South Georgia Sean, I see in there. So thanks everybody for being on the stream. We're back. Here we are live, fresh, brand new, shitty episodes of the commercial break dumping right out of the back of us

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

like a bomber flying over the us.

[Brian Green]

I just saw this video, my daughter and I, on occasion I will allow my daughter, one of my oldest daughter, to watch animals on Instagram. Yeah, I'll like hashtag it and watch it. So she wanted to know about rhinoceroses. Rhinoceros, some pretty cool animals. Awesome. She wants to know how they survive. Are they dinosaurs? How do they live so long? I don't think she understands that. Like it's not one actual rhinoceros that's lived for millions of years. It's the species. But I'm trying to get, I'm trying to teach her. She loves it though. She's all about it. So we're watching rhinoceroses and then one comes up where a cheetah has grabbed onto the hind and the rhinoceros is running, running, running, running. And then explosive diarrhea all over the cheetah. And the cheetah is just like, ah, ah.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

That's one way to get, get somebody off.

[Brian Green]

And so my daughter says, is that what it's like when you have diarrhea? And I'm like, minus the big cat in my ass.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

You know that stomach bug that was going around?

[Brian Green]

Yep, that's what it was like. There you go, daughter of mine, you're learning about the real world. That's how rhinoceroses have stayed alive.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Exactly.

[Brian Green]

Well, I, so I, I actually. So she's saying, ask chat, ask chat why rhinoceroses are still alive. And so I'm like, Babe, that's not a question that Chad is going to have the answer to. But of course, Chad had the answer

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

to it, and it was a answer

[Brian Green]

because it eat plant. It eats plants. It's evolved in certain ways, it's 5 inch thick skin in certain places, and it can pretty much survive on very little water and just shrubs. Like, that's it. That's part of the reason why it survived all of this. So she said, dad, why would. Where would a rhinoceros be able to eat scrubs? And I go, shrubs. And she goes, scrubs. And I go shrubs. And she goes, I know what the doctors wear. And I go, no, the rhinoceros is not eating scrubs. Scrubs is back. Did you see that?

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I did see that. They've done a reboot. I haven't watched it.

[Brian Green]

Scrubs has been reboot. Rebooted. I did not watch it either. I. I got into Scrubs very late in its evolution. I thought, silly television show. I don't. I don't want to. It wasn't my style of show.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

But then when I started watching it, I was like, oh, it is my style of show. I like this. It's interesting. It's funny. But I got into it, like maybe the last two seasons, and I watched. If there's 100 episodes or 150 episodes of that show, I probably watch 20 of them.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yeah, me too.

[Brian Green]

I always enjoyed it. I always thought it was great. It wasn't my favorite show. It wasn't the worst show. The two doctors, they have really good chemistry.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yeah. I mean, now that there's. Before, I think when it was on before, there wasn't really this on demand streaming, Right? Yeah. So you had to catch it. And I think that was during a time when I might have been like, out at that time or something when it came on. So now would be a good time to reboot it because everything is.

[Brian Green]

Everything is streaming. So there it is. It's on Peacock. It's on NBC. So it's getting great reviews. It's, you know, obviously they're older, but I watched like half an episode that they posted on somewhere on YouTube or something, and I thought, oh, okay. They, you know, seems. Seems to be in the spirit of the show, the original show. And it seems to feel very much like they are riding the back of pit. Like the pit. Right. Like the counternarrative to the pit. Here they are in the emergency room, Doctors running around doing the thing.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Don't they have, like singing and stuff there?

[Brian Green]

It's. It's a Crazy show. Like there is no rhyme or reason to it. It's. I have a hard time comparing it to another show.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

What's that? The Dennis Medical. That one that came out.

[Brian Green]

St. Denis Medical.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

That was pretty cute. I watched a few of those episodes.

[Brian Green]

They did well. They got picked up for another season. So they're on season. They're filming season number three right now. So good for. What's her name on her show? Wendy. Wendy McClendon. Lovin or whatever. Wendy Lovin or whatever.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Her name is McLoveney or McLovin.

[Brian Green]

McClendon. Wendy McClendon. Wendy Lovin. McLend it. Wendy something. Congratulations, Wendy.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Wendy.

[Brian Green]

So yeah, anyway, so if you're interested, I guess you could go watch Scrubs. I am watching currently. I was just right before we came on air, I was watching a doctor on Instagram that I love, Dr. Justin. Dr. Justin is a board certified, I think emergency room doctor who does nothing on his Instagram but bust the entirety of the nut sack of chiropractors. Oh, and he is just over them. The ones that he really gets after are the ones that are really just full of shit. Like they take a picture he. The other day, I think I said this some at some point on the show, they take. They'll take a picture of your spine and then they'll say, look at all of this tissue. And then, Doc, Dr. Justin has done this probably five times. The chiropractor on their Instagram, he's like watching their Instagram real. He'll be like, the chiropractor will be like, look at all of this tissue that's inflated and inflamed and blah, blah, blah.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

Every time Dr. Justin will go, that is not inflamed tissue. That is poop. That is poop in your belly. It's perfectly normal. Everybody hasn't. And it's like, these guys are so full of shit sometimes. And what he's really gets after now, his favorite thing to do, he's been doing it for about 30 reels in a row is the chiropractors that use the clickers.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Brian Green]

Click, click. I had a chiropractor do that to me one time and then tried to get me to buy like a monthly subscription to the chiropractic office. And I was like, I'm out of here. That is a child's toy that you're using to try and make me believe that you're fixing something.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Can't you buy one of Those like off TV?

[Brian Green]

You can buy it on Amazon for $10. You can buy those things. They are literally children's toys. They are clickers. That's what they are. Little clicker. And people are going to the chiropractic office and spending 50, 60, 70 bucks a visit to have someone press them in your back or on your neck or whatever and tell you that you're all f. Fixed. It doesn't work that way. I love having my neck cracked and my back cracked. I love it.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I found a good one. He. He does. He didn't try to sell me on a bunch of stuff.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, it's just.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

It's straight up.

[Brian Green]

Me too.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Go in and get the adjustment.

[Brian Green]

Go in, get my neck and my back cracked, move on with life. That's. And, and, and I have also learned that when my back is actually in pain is not the time to go to the chiropractor. They will likely make it worse. Yes, Just go there when you're feeling good, but you feel like you're a little stressful. And the best chiropractors are the ones who give you a nice massage at the end. Not massage, but a nice massage. That's it. That's all I want. I don't want your fucking hanky panky bullshit that, you know I can click. I can fix Ms. With a clicker. It doesn't work that way. It never worked that way. That's it, Dr. Justin. Keep doing your good work. Let's call out the b. Listen, chiropractory, or however you say it.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

Is pseudoscience.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

It's a gray area.

[Brian Green]

It's a gray area. Yeah, Right. It's pseudoscience. A lot of people believe in it. A lot of people makes it. It makes them feel better for whatever reason. And I do believe that most of your, you know, your mind has a lot of sway over your body. If you're feeling sick, you can make yourself sick. If you're feeling great, you can be great. Chiropractic. Chiropractors.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Chiropracty.

[Brian Green]

Chiropracty. Chiropractic. Come on down to Brian's Chiropractic Clinic. Click, click. Click, click. Come down to Brian's. Click, click. Chiropractic. Click, click. What's wrong? You have one testicle. I click click. There's the other one. I bring it back. Click, click.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

You could probably get some business.

[Brian Green]

You can't get boner. I click click. Brian. Click, click. Chiropractic.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

You can sell. Why Brian 3000?

[Brian Green]

Why Ryan 3000. Rubber little hand. Click, click. It's good as new. Look hot as rock. Yeah. It's a pseudoscience, but it really has. Has just taken over the world.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I think it's got a lot of leeway, if you will.

[Brian Green]

I guess it's not an act. You don't get an actual md. Yeah, right. You go to a certain college, they teach you all about it. Some people like the college, some people don't like the college. Especially places like Life College.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Well, that's like the biggest one, right?

[Brian Green]

It's the biggest one. It's here in Atlanta. Yeah. And there is a whole thing that goes along with being a chiropractor. It's a whole way of life, a way of thinking, a perspective. And yeah, I'm not here to knock chiropractors. I go to one. I like them, I think they're great. But I like my chiropractor and I've been to lots of chiropractors and some of them are just so hokey pokey. It's like, this cannot be true. I do not believe it. And if I don't believe it, it's not going to work. So I'm going to leave. But those offices are filled with people who do believe it. So there you go. I mean, listen.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Well, there's a lot of. There's a lot of like accident attorney integration too, with all of that.

[Brian Green]

So it's a big, big business. Big business. I have a friend who's a chiropractor. I like him. I think he does a good job. He gave me a massage. He cracked my neck. He'd pop my back every once in a while. He'd put me on a massage table. He'd rub out. He'd rub out a sore muscle or whatever. Loved him. Thought he was great. Wonderful. Because I never saw any of that hokey pokey bullshit. Now I don't know if that's because it doesn't go on in his office or he just knew that I wasn't going to pay attention to it. So he decided to just give me the straight basic treatment. But I did see those fucking clickers in his office he was using.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I haven't seen clickers in the guy that.

[Brian Green]

You haven't seen the clickers.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Not the one that I get to.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. Good. If there's clickers in your chiropractic, get out. If there's click, click chiropractic going on, it's not for you. Click, click, click, click, chiropractic. I'm sorry, I don't want to be. I don't. I don't want to diss on Chiropractors, you know, they make more money than I do, so they must be doing something right. Right.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

They do make money, don't they?

[Brian Green]

God damn, dude. Do they make money? I see those chiropractors are driving the nice cars, living in the townhouses, having sex with lots of people.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

That was your experience.

[Brian Green]

Holy shit. That's the other thing about life college is there are a lot of beautiful people that go to life College. Life. College is filled with beautiful people. It's very much about how you look.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

You have to be in shape too, just to even be able to like do the adjustments.

[Brian Green]

Yes. I dare you to find a fat chiropractor. They don't exist. No, because they don't. That's just like. There's a whole way of life that goes along with it and you gotta walk the walk if you're gonna talk the talk. And I think that's part of what they teach you, train you, discuss with you. When you go to chiropractic school, when you go to Click Click chiropractic school, they teach you that your body is a vessel and that it needs to be maintained. And that's why all those chiropractors, male or female, they are good looking and they are in shape 95 of the time. I have not seen an overweight chiropractor ever in my entire life. Never seen one. I. They probably exist, but I haven't seen one. I guess they go out of business pretty quick, huh? Well, plus you don't want someone really large like bending over you and.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

Pressing into you and all that.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Exactly.

[Brian Green]

I've had chiropractors on my back. I just watched. Speaking of massages, I just watched a reel that was rather disturbing. And I don't know if it's true or if it's not someone that we loosely know. I'm not a huge fan of her. I'll tell you who it is afterwards. It's not important who it is.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Okay.

[Brian Green]

Has been having a, a run of bad massage experiences in New York with guys that are like, you know, basically not molesting her, but basically like getting way too comfortable, you know, taking off her towel in the middle of the, you know, looking up her chuchi and. Yeah. And she keeps posting about it on Instagram. And she is a comedian. It's a kind of a loose. I use that loosely. What she is is really not a comedian, but she pretends to be one, but she's posting these. And it seems like in New York they're given Boscolo massages left and right. And I'm wondering, should I go get a massage in New York?

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Well, yeah, maybe some people want that.

[Brian Green]

That. Lots of people want it. Lots of people want it. Still. The massage place down the street from my house is still open. Still see cars there all the time. There's no massages going on in that place. I can guarantee. I saw one of the masseuses walking out of there at like two in the morning one night walking to her car with a very large. What probably was security guard of some sort walking her to her car, two parking lots over. I guess that's what they tell them to do, park over there. So, you know, whatever. And no, I've never seen a masseuse like this ever in my entire life. She was not dressed like a masseuse, I'll tell you that much. But okay, whatever. I don't care. It's not like.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

No.

[Brian Green]

If you're getting a hand shandy and it's consulting adults, perfect, fine, wonderful. I love it. Good for you, good for her, good for them, good for everybody. Sex work is real, is work. That's it. But if you're going up for like a regular massage and they're like, like, you know, taking off your towel in the middle of a massage, they can get a quick peek at your undercarriage.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Kind of weird though, too, that she's just a run of bad massages that are all men because, I mean, there's. Is there other women mixed in there too, or she requesting men?

[Brian Green]

She only seems to be posting about the guys. But my question to her is why? Why continue to go, like, go to an actual, like, spa that, like, there are spas here in Atlanta where clearly you're not getting a hand shandy no matter how much you ask. And if you ask, you're probably getting asked to leave.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yeah, exactly.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. Or worse. Right. So, you know, I go to a place here in Atlanta and it's got a couple of locations and it's very well known, it's very nice, and I have never had anything even close to inappropriate. There are masseuses that are more comfortable getting up inside you, if you know what I mean, you know, rubbing your butt or getting on the inside of your thigh. Yeah, the glutes. But like really up far in the glutes. I'm okay with that. Right. Because I'm not asking for a hand shandy. I know they're not giving me one.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

So if they're really just relaxing my glutes, cool. But I know for a fact that I will never be propositioned for a hand shandy at those places. However, the one that's in the strip mall that has the Open sign on 24 hours a day is definitely giving me a hand shandy. Definitely. As a matter of fact, if I don't want a hand shandy, it's unlikely that I should even walk in there for a massage.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

They might ask you to leave.

[Brian Green]

They're gonna ask me to leave. That's it. Someone says they. They had a chiropractor at church and the guy cracked their back and he laughed. He giggled. The first time I had my neck cracked, I giggled too, because I did. First of all, I didn't know what to expect. It was a girl who was in school. I was young, I was like 20 years old. And she was practicing because she was at life college. And she was like, hey, do you want me to pop your neck? And I was like, not, no. What is that? Like, I didn't even really know what it was. Yeah. But then she went behind me and did the whole thing and when she popp, it scared the shit out of me. But it did make me laugh a little bit too. I was like, wow, that's weird. Yeah, that's strange.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I know whenever my chiropractor does it, he's always like, whoa, yeah, okay. Yeah, you needed that.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. Mine are loud when they pop me. I'm loud. Yes. Yeah. But I crack my knuckles and all that. My kids love when I love when I crack my knuckles. You think it's the best thing. They're like, I'll pop your knuckles. And then they want me to pop their knuckles and I get on that

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

foam roller, you know, and roll them. Oh, yeah, It'll do like in that middle part.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, yeah.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Bless America.

[Brian Green]

God bless America. The only thing giving me a hand shandy is my foam roller. You can it. You can. It's true. All right, I want to tell you that. I want to tell you about something very exciting that happened to me personally that brought me right back to 19 years old. And I wish it had happened when I was 19 years old. Let's put it that way. I have Astrid now, but I wish it had happened. What's that?

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

A hand shandy.

[Brian Green]

God, I wish this. I wish this person would have given me a hand shandy. Sorry, Astrid. Love you, but. All right, let's take a short break and when we get back, Brian will tell you how his 19 year old self was resurrected. Was resurrected. Literally. What? Click, click, click, click, clickety clackity, chiropractity.

[Rachel (Voice of God)]

Hey, it's Rachel, your new voice of God here on tcb. And just like you, I'm wondering just how much longer this podcast can continue. Let's all rejoice that another episode has made it to your ears. And I'll rejoice that my check is in the mail. Speaking of mail, get your free TCB sticker in the mail by going to tcbpodcast.com and visiting the Contact Us page. You can also find the entire commercial break library audio and video just in case you want to look at [e-mail] Want your voice to be on an episode of the show? Leave us a message at 212-4333, TCB. That's 212-433-3822. Tell us how much you love us and we'll be sure to let the world know on a future episode. Or you could make fun of us. That'd be fine too. We might not air that, but maybe. Oh, and if you're shy, that's okay. Just send a text. We'll respond. Now I'm gonna go check the mailbox for payment while you check out our sponsors and then we'll return to this episode of the Commercial break.

[Stephanie Wong]

What do the steam engine, electricity and AI have in common? They don't just change how we work, they transform entire economies. Where the Internet Lives is an award winning podcast from Google about the unseen world of data centers. This season we're going inside the AI revolution. From farmers using AI to analyze soil data to researchers discovering new medicines, a new era of AI innovation is here. Listen to where the Internet Lives. Wherever you get your podcasts for delicious

[Marie Callender's Advertiser]

meals, you could go out to eat or you could just make a Marie Callender's meal. Marie Callender's classic Chicken Parmigiano bowl is so good. It has marinara sauce that's made from scratch and creamy mozzarella cheese over pasta. It's delicious with no artificial flavors, colors or preservatives and 30 grams of protein. You can find it in the frozen aisle. Marie Callender's what Having It All Tastes like ABC Wednesdays. The Emmy winning comedy Scrubs is all new.

[Brian Green]

This is a whole new chapter for me. No more sad Sa.

[McDonald's Advertiser]

That's what I'm talking about.

[Brian Green]

I want both of our sacks to be fun.

[Electric Vehicle Advertiser]

You two idiots are perfect for each other.

[Marie Callender's Advertiser]

From executive producers of Ted Lasso and Shrinking.

[Brian Green]

We were all a part of this victory. Now get those nachos out of the preemie warmer nachos. Feels like there's more applause for the nachos than my speech.

[Marie Callender's Advertiser]

The new season of Scrubs Wednesdays, 8, 7 Central on ABC and stream on Hulu.

[McDonald's Advertiser]

Quick Choose a meal deal with McValue, the $5 McChicken meal deal, the $6 McDouble meal deal, or the new $7 Daily Double meal deal, each with its own small fries, drink and Four Piece MCN tickets. There's actually no rush. I'm just excited for McDonald's for a limited time only. Prices and participation may vary. Not badly for McDelivery.

[Electric Vehicle Advertiser]

You ever wonder how far an EV can take you on one charge? Well, most people drive about 40 miles a day, which means you can do all daily stuff no problem. Go to work, grab the kids at school, get the groceries and still have enough charge to visit your in laws in the next county. But they don't need to know that. And the best part? You won't have to buy gas at all. The way forward is electric. Explore EVs that fit your life at electricforall.org

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

A cancer diagnosis changes everything. If you or a loved one drank

[Brian Green]

alcohol and was later diagnosed with cancer, you may be eligible for compensation. Go to cancerclaims.info Again, that's cancerclaims.info attorney advertising. Did you know that parents rank financial literacy as the number one most difficult life skill to teach? Meet Greenlight, the debit card and money app for families. With Greenlight, you can set up chores, automate allowance and keep an eye on your kids spending with real time notifications. Kids learn to earn, save and spend wisely. And parents can rest easy knowing their kids are learning about money with guardrails in place. Sign up for Greenlight [e-mail] podcast. Okay, I put out a reel the other day on my personal Instagram account. The reel goes something like this. Your wife is looking for a new dress and it shows my screen and it shows that she sends me a picture of a dress and I put, you know, love it. And then she comes back with three question marks. Like she'll understand what that means, right? And then I'm trying to find the right answer. It's a funny reel. It's 30 seconds long. It's gotten, it went crazy. Nutsy, nutsy, nutsy.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Okay?

[Brian Green]

Tens of thousands of shares, millions of views across multiple platforms. People requesting to use the real on. Like, you know, can we put it on our, you know, highlight page? Can you, can we use this? Can we repurpose it? You know, all this Other stuff. So like a true viral hit. Okay, great. That's not the point. It's lovely. It's lovely that that happened, but that's not the point because when you have an Instagram account that's popping, Instagram will start, start separating the notifications from you. It'll say, you know, interactions basically. And that's just people liking stuff, people commenting, whatever. This, this reels now gotten 660, 000 views or whatever. Then it says highlights. And the highlights are usually people who have verified accounts or are important for some reason, either to you personally or in the larger ecosphere of Instagram. So if a celebrity likes your post, if someone with a blue check mark likes your post, if one of your friends like it separates from the noise down below, it highlights it. Right?

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

That's nice.

[Brian Green]

It's nice because it gives you an opportunity to see if there's anything actually important happening. It's the difference between TikTok and Instagram. There is some kind of differentiator in the notifications because I could not possibly have gone through all the notifications on, on some of my, my posts. There's just, it's just there. And I'm not saying this braggadociously. There's just too much going on for me to at all ever keep up with, with hundreds of thousands of likes and all this other stuff. So a couple of days ago, a notification pops up in the highlights. It says, Kay Chenoweth liked and shared your post. And I'm like, kay Chenoweth? Sounds familiar. So I click on Kristin Chen. Chenoweth. It's Kristin Chenoweth.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

And I'm like, whoa, the OG Glinda.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yeah. Big Broadway star.

[Brian Green]

But for me, the more important thing is the West Wing. She did a couple of turns in the West Wing is as Annabeth. And she is great in that show. And I love the way that she played it. And it's. That's obviously one of my favorite shows. And so I loved it. And so I got a little. I was a little starstruck. I was like, wow, okay. Chenoweth liked my, my post and shared it. That's lovely. But then a day later, Daisy Fuentes. Oh, Daisy liked and commented on your post.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Oh, I loved her too.

[Brian Green]

Daisy Fuentes. Now, for those of you that may not be bathed in the warm water of Daisy Fuentes.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Oh yeah. MTV Beach Time.

[Brian Green]

MTV Fashion, MTV beach, mtv everything. For like three years, it was Daisy Fuentes everywhere. Spring break. All of it. All of it. Daisy Fuentes was MTV and mtv Was Daisy Fuentes. It is my first Latina love. Daisy Fuentes. Daisy Fuentes, in my opinion, my humble opinion, is one stunning woman.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

She really is. And have you seen her recently?

[Brian Green]

She has not lost a beat.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

No, I saw her on a. Like a show where they were redoing homes.

[Brian Green]

Oh, really?

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

And they did. They did, like, a room in her home.

[Brian Green]

Oh.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

And I was like, damn, she still got it. She looks great.

[Brian Green]

Who is that? Hgtv.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yeah, I think.

[Brian Green]

Oh, God. I'm gonna have to tune in. It's my least favorite channel, but I'm gonna have to tune in to. Because Daisy Fuentes, like my post. I swear to God, Chrissy, I got so excited about this. Yeah. Running around like a little girl. I'm like, daisy Fuentes, like my post. Daisy Fuentes, like my post. Daisy Fuentes. I know. She's like, what? But then, you know, Astrid went out. She asked if she could go have a girls movie, date night, whatever. And I was like, okay, whatever. Go have a date. And they went and saw Wuthering Heights. Wuthering Heights.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Right, right.

[Brian Green]

And her. Her friend took a pic. Like, there's a big movie poster out front where the two leads are kissing. And so they made it look like Astrid was kissing the guy. And then she sends it to me with, like, a little laugh emoji. And I'm like, yeah, funny. Interesting. Fuck you. Fuck you.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I saw an interview with that guy. He's the same guy who played Frankenstein in the new Frankenstein.

[Brian Green]

Wait, I thought, no. Jacob, whatever his name is. Isn't he the guy from Euphoria? Frankenstein and Euphoria. Isn't he from Euphoria?

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I think you might be right about Euphoria.

[Brian Green]

He's the bad guy in Euphoria.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yeah, but he is the Frankenstein in the new one.

[Brian Green]

Okay, I did not know that.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Del Toro. Guillermo del Toro.

[Brian Green]

I thought the new Frankenstein was Christian Bale. No, no. Christian Bale isn't in Frankenstein. The Bride of Frankenstein.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Maybe he's the creator. Maybe he's the guy.

[Brian Green]

In any case.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

Tant et tant tit for tat. I got Daisy Fuentes. You can have your Jacob. I got Daisy Fuentes on my side.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Exactly.

[Brian Green]

Daisy Fuentes is just like. There's just this golden age of MTV right before I know the only reality show was the Real World.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

And we all thought it was highly entertaining because no one knew they were going to be celebrities. No one cared they were going to be. It was a grand experiment in taping. Real life, and everything else was just gold you could turn on there would. They would be absolutely taste making. Absolutely pushing their agenda. Absolutely pushing the record shop's agenda. I got it. I understood it. I understood it very early on that if you wanted to find independent music, it wasn't going to be on MTV unless it was after midnight. I understood that, but I didn't care because I'd watch that all day, and all.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

It was entertaining.

[Brian Green]

Yes. House of Fashion would come on and Daisy Fuentes would be there hosting it. And I was in love. And I think that's part of why. The reason why I got. Like, some of you may not know this. You may know this. This. You probably know this. I actually love fashion. I like high fashion. I like it a lot. I like the whole universe. I've had friends that have worked in the universe at high levels. I like the whole. And I think part of the reason why it was so alluring to me was because Daisy.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Formative years.

[Brian Green]

Yes, those formative years. 13, 14, 15 years old, when Daisy Fuentes is in my bedroom with me talking about high fashion, and I am talking back to her, like, I know it. So this is. This is all to say that Daisy, she didn't follow me.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Congratulations.

[Brian Green]

She didn't follow me. I wish she had followed me. And neither did Kristin Chenoweth. But I guess, you know, why would they follow me? Like, why would they?

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yeah, well, some of those celebrities don't follow.

[Brian Green]

No, no, no, no, no, no, they don't. You get a follow from them. You are that.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

You're on their level.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, you're on their level. Or you're a repeat offender. Like, they go, oh, this guy's put out a bunch of stuff. Yeah. And, you know, there are plenty of Venezuelan celebrities that follow me. There's only one problem. I don't know who they are.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I thought Astrid was telling you.

[Brian Green]

Astrid tells me. Gustavo will say to me, like, oh, my God, dude, this guy. And I'm like, oh, my God, dude, that guy. Cool, dude.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I love your burgeoning Instagram celebrity.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, I think I'm so far from it, though. Like, you know, okay, lay the cards out on the table. When we started our Instagram account with the commercial break, it took us about a year to get a thousand followers or longer. A year or longer to get a thousand followers. Even though we had tens of thousands of listeners, and then even when we. Even as we were getting hundreds of thousands of listeners, it still wasn't at 5,000. It was like, it was such a difficult thing to get people to just go and Follow us. And to be fair, we weren't putting out anything. Super interesting anyway. I don't think we've posted on that account, like, two weeks.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

No, we. We talked about doing some.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, we got to get. Yeah, we got to get back to it, but.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Or just get to it in general.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, get to it in general, not back to it. Did you ever have it to lose? I lost my touch. Did you ever have a touch to lose? But you. You. You see these numbers? You go, oh, if we could get to 5,000. I remember that was a big deal for us for all. We get to 5,000. And then it took us another year, and we finally got to 5,000, and then we get to 7,000. But then you realize. And then you go, look at, like, Kristin Chenoweth's account. She's got, like, 1.9 million people following her. And you realize that it. It doesn't matter. It does. It doesn't matter if you have 5,000 or 20,000 or 50,000. It's. You don't turn into a celebrity because you have 20,000 Instagram followers. It doesn't happen like that. That's just 20,000 people that happen to think you were cute on a certain day. And I don't mean cute like handsome. I mean cute like, you know, oh, he's like. He's funny. I'll give him a follow. Maybe he'll say something else funny later on down the road. Yeah.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

And you want to be notified of it.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. Because some of these people, I mean, they're just hundreds of millions of people following. It's insane to think about. But, you know, the real. The real truth is, is that a lot of these accounts, it's just fake followers anyway.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Oh, that's right.

[Brian Green]

That's all it is, just fake. Yeah, we looked into it. Kim Kardashian has, like, 38% fake followers. 38%. Now, the 50, 62 that are real is still 100 million more than we will ever have. But, you know, the truth is, is that it's just a game. There's so many people playing that game, and. And that's all it is. So, you know, I'll let you know when I get to a million.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Okay.

[Brian Green]

I'll update you when I get to it. When I get to a million, we'll have a party. How's that?

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Oh, for sure.

[Brian Green]

And it'll probably be a decade from now, maybe when we get down to that, that Villages people will start liking me by the hundreds.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

We could put out some good ones from down there.

[Brian Green]

But I bet when we get down

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

there, maybe golf cart.

[Brian Green]

Well, this is probably what we're going to be hearing.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Doing drugs.

[Brian Green]

5:30, dinner at 5:30. There's gonna be a guy down there like that, you know? There is. There's gonna be a guy. Yeah.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

No question.

[Brian Green]

It was a guy at Starbucks a couple days ago. Coffee boyfriend was out of town. It was a guy at Starbucks a couple of days ago. Go. And he's sitting down at the end of the bar, and I'm sitting down there waiting for a cup of coffee. And he goes, excuse me? And I go, yes. Like me. Who me? Yes. Excuse me. Where do we know each other from? And I was like, I. I don't know. Where do we know each other from? I think we had met at the Publix on previous occasions. And I was like, that's a weird way to say it. I go, oh, maybe I'd been. Maybe we saw each other at a Publix.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

In the cereal aisle?

[Brian Green]

Yeah, in the cereal aisle or the hot dog aisle. I'm not sure what. I don't know. Maybe. Yeah, it's like a weird. You know, there have been occasions when I believe we have met the Publix. And I was like, I. I don't think so. But, you know, hey, nice to meet you.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yeah, yeah. Good to see you.

[Brian Green]

Your name is Jason. No, it's not. It's Brian. When we met, it was Jason.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

When we met, it was Jason.

[Brian Green]

And then I'm starting to realize maybe I'm not dealing with a full deck here. And I was like, ah, yeah, no, it's always been Brian. But some people say I look like a Jason. Well, my memory does not. What'd he say? He goes, my memory does not disserve me. And I was like, well, just. Okay, all right, well, listen, it's Brian. But thank you very much for the kind words. I really appreciate it. And if I see a public publix, I'll say hi again. I'm not attending that Publix any longer. I go, oh, okay. Something happened. And now I realize I'm about to get story time. And I was like, oh, okay. Well, you know, sometimes you go to different grocery stores. Yeah, I slipped and I fell and I'm considering legal action.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Oh.

[Brian Green]

And I was like, oh, okay. Well, I hope you're feeling better.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Good luck with that.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. He good goes, I'm not. It's like getting roped into this and I just want my cup of coffee.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yeah, quick, get the coffee.

[Brian Green]

And I go, oh, well, that's I'm really sad to hear that, man. Listen, you know, sometimes, sometimes things happen. You know, things wouldn't that happened had they put their milk away appropriately. I was like, oh my God, I'm really going down this aisle. This guy started in on a whole thing, thing. And he had this weird like low toned voice. He was like this old man where one eye was like half shut. And I thought to myself, I gotta get out of here. I gotta get out of here. So coffee comes, he's in the middle of telling me how the milk had spilled. And he had come around the corner and he had slipped and fallen and hurt in his knee. And he went to the doctor and this whole nine yards. And I said, well, listen, it's really nice to meet you. You never asked my name. And I go, I'm sorry, what was your name? Jason.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

No, he did it.

[Brian Green]

He did. And I go, oh, Jason. So you thought I was Jason and you were a Jason. How else do you think I would have remembered your name? I, well I, I, I. Very nice to meet you. I'm sorry about all the drama at the Publix. I hope the next grocery store you go to doesn't have the milk spilled in the middle of the aisle. Yeah, it's illegal for them to do that. You know, he's like a pirate. You know, illegal. I'll talk to you later, Jason. Thanks so much. Wait, I forgot to tell you what happened earlier. No, no, no. Gotta go. Lots of kids take care of podcast to do you have a podcast? You say, so do I. It's called Jason on Jason. Jason. It was the weirdest exchange. So then I go in like the next day, and the girl who was behind the counter that day was behind the counter this day. And I, and she, I say, hey, listen, did you see that guy that was talking to me the other day? She goes, oh yeah, yeah. Anytime he comes in, we pray that he doesn't sit at the counter. And I go, why? And she goes, cuz he will take up all your time with his stories. We think he's a little cuckoo. And I was like, yeah, did you? He was like, thought I was Jason. And he said he was Jason. And she goes, his name's not Jason. I go, it's not. She goes, no, it's like John or something. It's definitely not Jason. And I'm like, okay, next time he comes in, you see what name he puts on that cup, right? Well, then a week passes, I see the girl again and she's like, john. It was John. And I go, his name's John. And he told me his name was Jason. And she goes again, I think he's just kind of kooky. She goes, he calls me. He comes once a week. It's usually in the evening time. And I was like, oh, bad luck on me, Jason. I slept on the milk in the public.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

My memory does not disserve me.

[Brian Green]

My memory does not disserve me was one of the weirdest sentences I have ever heard. Yeah, and I have heard a lot of weird sentences. They usually come out of my own mouth, if you know what I mean.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yes.

[Brian Green]

All right, let's take a short break and. And we'll be back.

[Rachel (Voice of God)]

Let me do something Brian has never done.

[Brian Green]

Be brief.

[Rachel (Voice of God)]

Follow us on Instagram at the commercial break. Text or call us 212-4333, tcb. That's 212-433-3822. Visit our website tcbpodcast.com for all the audio, video and your free sticker. Then watch all the [e-mail] thecommercial break and finally share the show. It's the best gift you could give a few aging podcasters. See, Brian, that really wasn't that difficult. Now what it you're welcome.

[Stephanie Wong]

What do the steam engine, electricity, and AI have in common? These technologies not only change how we work, they can transform entire economies. I'm Stephanie Wong, host of where the Internet Lives, a podcast from Google and Latitude Studios about the unseen world of data centers. Explore how data centers are unlocking growth in every sector of the economy. From agriculture to medicine to manufacturing. Data centers are powering a new era of AI innovation. Listen to where the Internet lives. Wherever you get your podcasts for delicious

[Marie Callender's Advertiser]

meals, you could go out to eat, or you could just make a Marie Callender's meal. Marie Callender's classic chicken parmigiano bowl is so good. It has marinara sauce that's made from scratch and creamy mozzarella cheese over pasta. It's delicious with no artificial flavors, colors or preservatives. And 30 grams of protein. You can find it in the frozen aisle. Marie Callender's what having it all tastes like abc. The Emmy winning comedy scrubs is all new.

[Brian Green]

This is a whole new chapter for me. No more sad sack.

[McDonald's Advertiser]

That's what I'm talking about.

[Brian Green]

I want both of our sacks to be fun.

[Electric Vehicle Advertiser]

You two idiots are perfect for each other.

[Marie Callender's Advertiser]

From executive producers of Ted Lasso and shrinking.

[Brian Green]

We were all a part of this victory. Now get those nachos out of the preemie warmer nachos. Feels like there's more applause for the nachos than my speech.

[Marie Callender's Advertiser]

The new season of school rubs Wednesdays 8, 7 Central on ABC and stream on Hulu.

[McDonald's Advertiser]

Quick Choose a meal deal with McValue, the $5 McChicken meal deal, the $6 McDouble meal deal, or the new $7 Daily Double meal deal, each with its own small fries, drink and Four Piece McNuggets. There's actually no rush. I'm just excited for McDonald's for a limited time only. Prices. The participation may vary. Not badly for McDelivery.

[Electric Vehicle Advertiser]

You ever wonder how far an EV can take you on one charge? Well, most people drive about 40 miles a day, which means you can do all daily stuff no problem. Go to work, grab the kids at school, get the groceries and still have enough charge to visit your in laws in the next county. But they don't need to know that. And the best part? You won't have to buy gas at all. The way forward is electric. Explore EVs that fit your life at electricforall.org

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

A cancer diagnosis changes everything.

[Brian Green]

If you or a loved one drank alcohol and was later diagnosed with cancer, you may be eligible for compensation. Get a free confidential claim review today. It should only take a few minutes.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Go to cancerclaims.info Again, that's cancerclaims.info Prefer

[Brian Green]

to call, dial 866-986-2429 again, 866-986-2429. This is Attorney Advertising. Did you know that parents rank financial literacy as the number one most difficult life skill to teach? Meet Greenlight, the debit card and money app for families. With Greenlight, you can set up chores automate allowance and keep an eye on your kids spending. With real time notifications, kids learn to earn, save and spend wisely. And parents can rest easy knowing their kids are learning about money with guardrails in place. Sign up for Greenlight [e-mail] podcast, Brittany Spears got a DUI. That's what you were saying Los Angeles last night. I think it was yesterday last night. And then went straight to rehab after. After that.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

That's really good.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Well, like we first of all, like we've said before many times, why are you driving yourself?

[Brian Green]

You should never be driving yourself in yourself.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

And you're drinking.

[Brian Green]

You are a billionaire. You just sold like half of your catalog for like half a million dollars. Yeah.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

It's not like you can't afford a private driver. That's just, I mean A chef and a private driver would be the first

[Brian Green]

thing you got the world on your shoulders, kids, there's, there is no reason. And I am flat broke and I wouldn't drive drunk. I just wouldn't do it. When we, I don't know if I told, I told the story about how we went to the bachelor party. When we went to the bachelor party and we had to drive that road to and from, from the casino, from the casino down to the cabin, the house that we were staying in. That road was the most unbelievably curvy, Dark, tiny.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

Those mountain roads, those mountain roads up there in the Blue Ridge Mountains are really nefarious. Really nefarious. And I, I wouldn't even, I, not even on half, not with half a beer in me would I have driven that road. Because driving and drinking at my age, I understand is a terribly dangerous game to play. And alls it takes is one half a second of bad reaction time and you're done for.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

And Britney Spears is how many, how much money she have? Like half a billion dollars. She is half a billion dollars. $499,999,000,999 richer than I am. And she can afford a fucking full time driver. A full time security guard. Isn't she have a security guard with her 24 hours a day?

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I don't know really her, her, her situation. I thought she was down in Mexico.

[Brian Green]

She was down in Mexico, but I guess she was in LA doing something, maybe, maybe signing the deal, I don't know or you know, doing some business or something like that. But Britney has been a cuckoo bird for a long time and I don't say that flippantly. She obviously has mental health issues. She really does need someone on her side and so I think rehab is the best place for her. Not maybe not because she needs help with alcohol, I don't know, maybe she does, maybe she doesn't, but because the poor girl needs someone to help her stay stable and sane. She is not well and I really feel for her and her family. That's a, that's a tough one when you have the world's most famous girl, lady woman is out there are, you know, juggling knives and dancing naked and dog in the floor and you know, living like. I know, but they don't live with her. No, no, they live with Kevin. Who thought Kevin Federline was going to be the sane one in the group. I mean when Kevin Federline looks completely normal compared to you, something is wrong. It's Kevin Federline. You. You may not remember remember, but when Kevin Federline hit the scene, hit the scene, we were all like, no, Brittany, no, not Kevin Federline. It's a mess. But now he's like dad of the year.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

Because he's taking care of those two kids and you know, and seems to be doing well with them, at least by all accounts. I don't know how many accounts there are, but the last time I read he was. He was being a good father to the kid, to the boys. And maybe because he smartened the up and realized that if he does it the right way here, he'll never have to work another day in his life and he'll have two really cool kids.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Right, Exactly.

[Brian Green]

But you know, Britney's down in Mexico with dog poop in the background, clothes strewn all over the place.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Videos are bizarre.

[Brian Green]

Living like a hoarder, you know, weirdly editing videos where she's dancing by herself in various stages of dress and undressed. Normally, I would say live your life, kid, but this woman has so many resources and so much talent and it's a shame.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I think, yeah, it seemed like when she had the. Sam Ashogie. Or was that his name? Yeah, her fiance.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, Sam Ashogie.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yeah. It seemed like there was a stability there, something. I was excited for that true north. Yeah. Because I think that's when she was getting done with the conservatorship. And then they might have already been engaged, but they at least got engaged after that. That I was like, okay, good. This looks good there. She's gonna be good. And then boom, they break up.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. What a. What a. It's a tale as old as time. Talented people, creative types, sometimes they didn't always have their head screwed on the right way, at least according to the rest of the world. Right. And this is a woman who could live her life honestly the way that she wants to for the rest of her life. And if making weird videos was the worst thing that was going on, I would say live video your you do you kid.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

That's your creative outlet.

[Brian Green]

Driving drunk and dancing with knives and not seeing your children and all that stuff that. See, it seems like a shame. It seems like time is a wasting and she's going to get older and it's going to turn into a really sad story. It's already a sad story, but it's going to turn into even sadder story and something terrible is going to happen. So I really hope that Britney gets the help that she needs. I hope she gets medication Help, therapy, whatever it is.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yeah. There's nothing wrong with medication.

[Brian Green]

No, no, no, listen. If you walked in tomorrow and a bone was sticking out of your arm, I would not fault you for taking some OxyContin and getting your arm wrapped. Right? But mental illness is the disease you cannot visualize. It's only one that can. It's only one that the person who's experiencing it sometimes or sometimes not can identify. And so when you are. Are so mentally ill and so visible, it just becomes a really sad story that the rest of the world is kind of shit watching you. Right. And I really hope that she can get some help.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

So too, I'm rooting for her.

[Brian Green]

Me too. Because here's the truth. People love those fucking songs. I don't. Not my thing, but people love those fucking songs that she made. People love the way that she danced. People loved all that shit. There are Britney Spears fans from here until the end of the world. She could be as popular as Backstreet Boys, doing the sold out night after night after night at the Sphere. She could be as popular as, I don't know, you know, Jenny Ortega, whoever, you name it. She. She could be just as popular out on the road if that's what she choose to do. Making new music, if that's what she chooses to do, all that other stuff, she could be independent and successful and productive and using all of that talent, that creativity in a way that benefited her and the fans if she chose to do that. That. But right now I think she's kind of trapped in a cycle of mental illness. Right. And drinking and drugs also. So it's just. It's just terribly sad.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

It is sad. Yeah.

[Brian Green]

And I hope that she gets the help that she needs. I don't really have a dog in the fight with Britney Spears, but we have all now watched it play out year after year, month after month. You know, get her out of the conservatorship, put her back in the conservatorship. Get free Britney. Somebody needs to check on Britney. Yeah. It's like Jesus Christ.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I know.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. She must be really mindful, honestly. She must be really mindful to watch all that stuff go down.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yeah, I watched some documentary on her a while back. I think while all the conservatorship stuff was going on, there were a couple of documentaries and. Yeah, I mean, from where she came from to then the Mickey Mouse Club and then her own breakout star and I. Something happened along the way.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. I mean, either something bad happened and she's got some kind of mental illness by ptsd, which is not uncommon.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Or.

[Brian Green]

Or she got mentally ill as she grew into her 20s, which is also not uncommon. That's when it shows itself. Right. Is usually in your late teens, early 20s.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Have all that fame, all of that

[Brian Green]

money, money, drugs, booze, hangers on. Yeah, yeah. Like Britney Spears can't get some drugs. I was watching Steve O. You know, Steve O is our very first interview ever here on the commercial break of a celebrity. I mean, notable. Yeah. Wow.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Well.

[Brian Green]

Well, celebrity. You would know, right? How's that? That's right. Veer Dos was. Yeah. Pillow guy. My. The. My pillow guy, the Indian version. But Steve O was like, the first, like, American celebrity that we had on. And I wish I had more time with Steve O, because I would have talked to him about a lot more things, but I was just lucky I got through the interview, if I'm being honest. But Steve O, I. I follow him on social media, and I've been watching a lot. He's been talking a lot about his sobriety lately.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

All right.

[Brian Green]

And if you remember, if you recall, not Too long ago, 15 years ago, Steve O. There were MTV cameras in Steve O's apartment as Steve O, night after night, day after day, for months on end, snorted cocaine, took Xanax, did whippets, smoked crack, snorted heroin. I mean, the guy was a walking, talking Hunter S. Thompson Without Hunter S. Thompson's ability to control himself. He was a hardcore drug addict, and he was hallucinating and seeing things. He was clearly mentally ill. Clearly mentally ill about that. Yeah.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Is that on MTV?

[Brian Green]

It was on MTV.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Okay.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. Or VH1, one of the two. I can't remember. VH1, I think, was showing all the, like, celebrity drug drug porn. Celebrity drug porn, I guess, would be the best way to put it, watching all the celebrities trash and burn. And they were filming it for. For ratings.

[Marie Callender's Advertiser]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

Which was good tv, by the way. And so Steve O is now reflecting on that time in his life and sharing kind of inside information. He said he went through about a hundred failed interventions in that time period, that there were people left and right that were intervening. He said, honestly, I started staying at my apartment not because I didn't want to go out, but because every time I would go out, someone was trying to do an intervention on me.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Y. Yeah.

[Brian Green]

And so time after time, again, Steve O hit his head against the wall. And now Steve O sounds like kind of like an elder statesman for sobriety.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I would never thought again.

[Brian Green]

Kevin Federline and Steve O are making sense. We're all fucked, right? Steve O. Knows what this is like to go through this cycle where, you know, you are loved and lauded for all the things that you do. Celebrity, fame and wealth come very quickly. You are in the spotlight and you have no control over yourself. You're just acting the fool because you believe that's what people want to see. Britney believes that she needs to be the center of the circus because she always has been the center of the circus. But she's, I believe, probably using drugs and alcohol to calm the things that are going on in her mind, just like Steve O. Did, just to an extreme. But Steve O. Is a. A shining example of how with a little bit of help and a long road to walk, you can get to a point where, you know, you're fine, you're okay. Yeah. And I really applaud Steve O For the turnaround because I gotta be honest, I watched that VH in one show like everybody else did with my mouth wide open, knowing what it's like to be that higher. That fucked up, knowing been there, done that, and wondering how he did that night after night after night after day after day after day. And he survived it. He survived it, and he's actually doing okay. Good for Steve O. You can come back on Steve O. If you want to.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yeah. It's amazing. Has it had more health problems?

[Brian Green]

He's got a lot of health problems.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Okay.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, he's got a lot of health problems, but he's knocking it out once at a time. The only thing that I say to Steve O. Is through all of this, you've had really nice teeth. Congratulations. Even when you were way fucked up, you always had really nice teeth.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Veneers.

[Brian Green]

I think they're going in to do a Jackass eight, actually. And, you know, Johnny Knoxville now had, you know, he had a stroke. So he. He's a little slower than he used to be. I saw him on a couple of interviews, but he seems to be doing okay. But they're gonna go do Jackass 8, guys. No, we don't need it. No, you got plenty. Yeah.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yeah. I'm not asking for that.

[Brian Green]

No, I know that there are people that are asking for it, but I'm not asking for it. And apparently Bam Margera is in conversation. To return to Jackass 8. There's another one. There's another shining example of a hot mess who needs to get his together. And apparently is. Is so rooting for all of you guys. Rooting for all of you. Listen, grass is greener on the other side in some Small circumstances in life, and this is one of them. When you hit that wall of mental illness or, you know, addiction, you can turn it around. It's okay. There's never too late. All right, so that's Brian's soapbox for the day.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I guess Brittany's a cautionary tale to you, Brian. I mean, once your celebrity just explodes

[Brian Green]

on Instagram, Once I reach a million,

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

don't lose sight of things and just go wild.

[Brian Green]

I'm trying not to lose sight of the small people. Even as Daisy Fuentes, in her late 50s, is clearly now enthralled with Brian. Yes. Kristin Chenoweth. Daisy Fuentes. Like my post, I need to watch this. And then a bunch of Venezuelan celebrities who I love just as much. I just don't know who you are. I'm sure you're famous since Venezuela. All right. Okay. All right. Chrissy and I are going to take a short break, and then we're going to come right back. Doubling up, doubling up today. Clickety clackity. Chiropracty.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Chiropracty.

[Brian Green]

Chiropracty.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Those clickers. I think my grandmother had one of them.

[Brian Green]

Oh, they're so easy to find, the tv. Well, the guy, she's, like, using it

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

on her hip and stuff. Or sciatic nerve or something, you know?

[Brian Green]

Doesn't work. No, doesn't work. Sciatic nerve is flaring up. Vicodin works. That's what works. Speaking of addiction, Vicodin. Take lots of it. Yeah. All right, so we'll come back. We'll talk more about the weekend plans, all the comings and goings. While the world burns around us, Chrissy and I continue to do shows. Hey, don't worry about it. Everything's gonna be fun.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Some sort of sanity for us.

[Brian Green]

Honestly, what are there, like, 22 countries now involved in the current war by candle cane? See you soon. Thanks for joining. Yeah, it's insane. It's insane. So, speaking of insanity, speaking of people who may or may not need to go see a therapist. That'll never happen. Yeah, yeah. No, that dog's too old to change its spots, I'm afraid. Chrissy. All right. At the commercial break on Instagram, you want to follow me personally, see what all the noise is about at Brian W. Green? You can. If you go to our commercial break page, you can connect with both Chrissy and I at tcb. Chrissy at Brian W. Green. And I've also got a substack if you want to follow that now, too. You feel free. Be one of twelve. Follow me on substack.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I'm following you on Substack.

[Brian Green]

Well, thank you, I appreciate it. Tcbpodcast.com all the audio, all the video right there from one location. No mus, no fuss. You can also get your free TCB Sicker. You know we're still getting requests from free stickers from that website.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Oh really?

[Brian Green]

Yes. It's cycled in again. It's cycled in again.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Oh my God.

[Brian Green]

And we got like another hundred requests, you guys. Yeah, in YouTube.com the commercial break. Chrissy and I live stream there Tuesdays and Thursdays about 1pm Eastern Standard Time. Ah, okay, Chrissy. That's all I can do for now, I think. So tell you that I love you.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I love you.

[Brian Green]

Best to you. Best you and the podcast and streaming audience. Until next time, Chrissy and I will say we do say. And we must say goodbye.

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