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- [00:08]
Brian Green
On this episode of the commercial break. That to me defeats the whole fucking purpose. If you're gonna go out there and rough it for the weekend and get high on peyote and special K and designer drugs with all your friends and really tough it out, make it a gritty kind of experience, you know, have a little, few creature comforts, a cooler with beer. That's, that's like the extent to which I would preplan anything but a whole closet system that you bought on TEMU that you're bringing says Coachella for your tent that you could stand two people up in literally a 20 foot high tent.
- [00:43]
Chris Hoadley
Oh, yeah.
- [00:44]
Brian Green
With a fucking ceiling fan. That's unbelievable. The next episode of the commercial break starts now. 5:30. Oh, yeah. Cats and kittens, welcome back to the commercial break. I'm Brian Green. This is my dear friend and the co host of this show, Chris and Joy Hoadley. Best to you, Chris.
- [01:03]
Chris Hoadley
Best to you, Brian.
- [01:04]
Brian Green
Best of you out there in the podcast universe. How the hell are you? Thanks for joining us. My favorite time of year, it's Coacheela time.
- [01:11]
Chris Hoadley
It's an all RP everywhere. There's low key dates going on. Like Kim Kardashian could have a low key date.
- [01:19]
Brian Green
Yeah, there's Coachella. Like she wants to have a low key date at Coachella. It's a coming out party for all the, all the people who are invited. And that does not include Chrissy or I. As much of a spinfluencer as I've become on Instagram, I have not yet received my Coacheela invite. But you know, hey, good for those who can. Good for those who do. Looks like a wonderful, obnoxiously obnoxious time for everybody.
- [01:46]
Chris Hoadley
I'd rather watch it.
- [01:48]
Brian Green
Yeah, I'd rather never go.
- [01:50]
Chris Hoadley
I don't want to be in the desert.
- [01:52]
Brian Green
No, I don't want to be in the desert. It looks like a wind swept sandy affair where it's just influencers in the wild. You know what I'm saying? Everywhere, like a zoo with no cages, full of influencers and their puckered lips and their pretty tits and their, you know, their bikinis and nipples hanging out, nipples afloat and everyone in their day, glow outfits running around hoping they catch a whiff of Justin Trudeau or Miley Cyrus.
- [02:23]
Chris Hoadley
That's right.
- [02:23]
Brian Green
I did see that.
- [02:24]
Chris Hoadley
Katy Perry was there.
- [02:25]
Brian Green
Katy Perry was there making fun of Justin Bieber, right?
- [02:27]
Chris Hoadley
She was saying, thank God he got the premium subscription because it was YouTube.
- [02:32]
Brian Green
Did you watch it?
- [02:33]
Chris Hoadley
No, but I was reading about it. So it Was like a big YouTube
- [02:36]
Brian Green
performance I saw a couple of minutes ago. That's what he did. He YouTubed it. He YouTubed it. He went back through his YouTube and started pressing play on certain videos and then would sing along to the. Whatever it was he was doing. It's kind of lame.
- [02:50]
Chris Hoadley
Okay.
- [02:51]
Brian Green
Yeah. I mean, he brought out all these people and you know. Okay, all right, whatever. Justin. Justin's clearly not right. But he's also been in the limelight since he was a kid. And you just can't expect people who are child stars to be level headed. It's just not a thing. It's. It doesn't exist. Name one child star who's level headed. Miley Cyrus, I think is as close as we're ever going to come to a well adjusted. And that's questionable.
- [03:13]
Chris Hoadley
Yeah.
- [03:14]
Brian Green
At least she seems to have her head on her shoulders. She's a smart cat. I like her a lot. I really do. Anyway, she didn't play, but you know, Justin Trudeau and Katy Perry are there eating their soba noodles from the backstage area and making fun of Justin B. There.
- [03:31]
Chris Hoadley
Jack White's performance, Great. I mean, he's just. He puts on such a great show.
- [03:35]
Brian Green
He filled in for somebody, apparently.
- [03:37]
Chris Hoadley
Yeah.
- [03:37]
Brian Green
Somebody got sick or couldn't make it or whatever. And so they gave him 45 minutes. And I read that that was the best 45 minutes Coachella has ever had. And I would agree with that. I don't know. I didn't think Jack White would be a Coachella kind of dude. But I guess when someone says, hey, here's a million and a half dollars, fly in for the weekend play 45 minutes. I probably say yes to. You know, I don't think I have anything specifically against Coachella. Great. It's a big two week festival in the desert, but it just has gotten so obnoxious online. Because the only thing that you ever hear about Coachella, it's not ever music focused.
- [04:11]
Chris Hoadley
Yeah. It's always there.
- [04:13]
Brian Green
Yeah. It's about which perks are you getting because this person or that company sent you on their behalf together. I just was watching a girl who said, follow me. As I. I get into the most amazing guest house at Coachella and it's. I thought it said guest house. It was actually guest house. So the company guest had sent her there. And the crazy thing is is I funded the compound of houses she is staying at. Like when I worked in commercial real estate, I funded these compounds. So I knew exactly where she was staying because I had seen many blueprints and stuff like that. It's beautiful, but it's obnoxiously branded guests and there's like, you know, 28, 20 something women in their bikinis laying around this big pool. It's all for show. It's all for clicks and listen. That is the economy. That is the transaction economy that we live in. The click economy that we live in. I'm not mad at it. I'm not mad at you playing the game. If somebody offered me a couple thousand dollars to go stay at a nice house for the weekend and take pictures, I'd likely do it also. Maybe I'm just jealous that I didn't get invited. I'm going to see Jack Wy Coachella.
- [05:21]
Rachel
Yeah.
- [05:21]
Chris Hoadley
I mean, I guess if you think about it, sure, if you got all these great perks and things, yeah, we would go. But like just me saying, I really
- [05:28]
Brian Green
want to go spend $4,000 to go to Coachella and get your sand in your ass.
- [05:33]
Chris Hoadley
No, I'm good.
- [05:34]
Brian Green
I'm going to Coachella to see Diplo. Diplo. Yeah. And that's the other thing too. I was watching. I got like in a black hole of video. I couldn't sleep last night. I got in a black hole of videos of, you know, glamp out with me at Coachella. Of all of these people who are just like. So, I mean, I can't imagine. I know this happens at Bonnaroo. Must happen at Bonnaroo, but I can't imagine like 19, 2003 Mountain Jam put on by 33 Productions production. Yeah, I can't imagine anybody bringing a portable air conditioner and their own masseuse.
- [06:16]
Chris Hoadley
Right.
- [06:16]
Brian Green
A whole closet system that they set up and y. You know, lights and fans. One lady brought an overhead fan. An overhead fan that was run by an electrical cord. She brought a. She brought an air conditioning system and an overhead fan for her 55,000 square foot tent that she set up in the middle of wherever it is she is. It's just that to me defeats the whole fucking purpose. If you're going to go out there and rough it for the weekend and get high on peyote and special K and designer drugs with all your friends and really tough it out, make it a gritty kind of experience, you know, have a little. Few creature comforts. A cooler with beer. That's. That's like the extent to which I would pre plan anything but a whole closet system that you bought on TEMU that you're bringing to Coachella. Wild for your tent that you could stand Two people up in literally a 20 foot high tent.
- [07:09]
Chris Hoadley
Oh, yeah.
- [07:10]
Brian Green
With a fucking ceiling fan. That's unbelievable. That is a level of preparation for an event that I just.
- [07:17]
Chris Hoadley
It's like those safari tents.
- [07:20]
Brian Green
Yeah. It's insane. But, you know, you say all this and then Coachella does it year after year with high success and high visibility. Even though it's kind of obnoxious and everybody knows it's obnoxious. It gets a lot of attention. It really does. It is the place to be seen. If you're anybody, then you want to be there.
- [07:40]
Chris Hoadley
Is this the 20th year? Did I see that somewhere or might be around 20?
- [07:43]
Brian Green
Yeah, it might be. Sounds about right, I guess. 20 years. Yeah. Two weekends. Am I right? They still do it two weekends, I think.
- [07:50]
Chris Hoadley
Yeah.
- [07:50]
Brian Green
Yeah. Now it's on. Now you can watch it on Amazon or something. Something like that. Amazon, Netflix. It's on. What? At least part of it you can watch because you can't ever get a ticket to it. So fucking expensive. People wait years to get tickets, like to get an actual ticket to Coachella. I don't think that happens. I think you have to, like, buy it through a broker or know somebody.
- [08:06]
Chris Hoadley
Like the Masters.
- [08:07]
Brian Green
Yeah, it's like the Masters, which was this weekend also. Yes.
- [08:12]
Chris Hoadley
Rory. Back to back.
- [08:13]
Brian Green
Back to back. Only the person to do it.
- [08:15]
Chris Hoadley
It's good for him.
- [08:16]
Brian Green
Yeah, good for him. I. I did. It was. I was ambivalent, quite frankly, going into Sunday. I just was glad that it wasn't Rory by eight shots going into Sunday to make it a completely boring experience, which happens from time to time at the Masters. And then Sunday, it takes the bite out of Sunday.
- [08:32]
Chris Hoadley
Yeah.
- [08:32]
Brian Green
Yeah.
- [08:32]
Chris Hoadley
Sunday's the day to Sunday, really. Watch it.
- [08:35]
Brian Green
Yeah. Moving day on Saturday is always. It can be exciting, but when someone pulls away, it doesn't happen very often, but when it does, it takes the bite out of Sunday. You don't get as excited about watching on Sunday, but I was watching. We're at a barbecue. We went over to my brother's house, and then I went to a barbecue with a bunch of Venezuelans and Latinos and Latinas. And they had no fudgeing clue what I was talking about. Yeah, but even they were watching and you know, like, oh, okay, there you go. That's. That's. It's such a beautiful.
- [09:00]
Chris Hoadley
I was going to say it's beautiful. The scenery is beautiful.
- [09:03]
Brian Green
So for those who know, every year the Masters is put on, and traditionally, even though it's probably one of the most watched sporting events of any Year. I have to imagine it makes CBS millions upon millions upon millions of dollars. It makes the Augusta National Golf Course and Country Club hundreds of millions of dollars every year. It is just an event like no other. If you've ever had the chance to go, you will truly understand what the Masters is all about. No cell phones, no yelling and screaming, no T shirts, no sandal. I mean, this is like the type of place where they keep the country club aesthetic and there's some kind of magic that's happening on that golf course every year. It's just beautiful. You've seen it on tv. It's the greenest thing you've ever seen. I know there's a shit ton of chemicals put on the. I know it's full of chuck. Full of chemicals, but they manage when the flowers bloom there.
- [10:00]
Chris Hoadley
I know the azaleas.
- [10:02]
Brian Green
Yeah. That is how Disney esque the Masters is. They are literally with Mother Nature to make it perfect every year, and it almost always is. The exclusivity of Augusta national is hard to describe. And I was lucky enough to know somebody whose father was a member there, and I got tickets for a number of years and I went and. And I was really taken by the whole thing, by the whole experience. And on a couple of occasions, I managed to get behind the ropes for one reason or another.
- [10:36]
Chris Hoadley
Of course you did.
- [10:38]
Brian Green
Yeah. With Will Ferrell. Yes. True story. True story. By the way, Will Ferrell's now gonna do a comedy on Netflix, I guess, about golfing. Oh, great. So full circle for me. I was like, okay, that's great. But my younger brother Patrick is definitely the golf aficionado in the family. I love the sport. I cannot play it for shit. I love it. And I have children. I don't play golf anymore. Between my back and my children, I can't handle it. It's like my wife would give me five hours on a Saturday to go to. I'd be in so much trouble. I'd be digging out of that for years. I mean, every once in a blue moon, she actually encourages it. I think she wants to get me out of her hair. Go golfing with your brothers. But like every weekend or twice a week like I used to do. Not happening. But. So Patrick goes to the Masters this last Friday.
- [11:26]
Chris Hoadley
Oh, he did?
- [11:27]
Brian Green
Yeah, he did. Not unusual. I think he finds a way to get there every year one way or. Or the other. And he can afford a ticket if he wants a ticket, but he goes and he goes with a friend. So yesterday it's Sunday and he's Gonna put on a met Little Masters viewing party. And I get there early in the day, 1:30. And Patrick and his. His girlfriend Sam, they have shipped in. I guess you can do this now. They have shipped in Augusta national food. The actual pimento cheese for the pimento cheese sandwiches, the actual egg salad for the egg salad sandwiches, and the pork barbecue, pulled pork for the pulled park sandwiches, along with potato chips and cookies and. And accoutrement, like, you know, the paper you wrap the sandwiches in. All from Augusta national, like directly from them. It came in a box said Augusta National.
- [12:12]
Chris Hoadley
That's smart marketing.
- [12:14]
Brian Green
They. They find a way. They really are smart marketers there. And you know what, the number, you know. You know, the thing you'll stand longest in line for at Augusta national has nothing to do with any golfing. It's to get into the pro shop. Yes. The merch, which is like 150,000 square foot tent that is put up in the back of the. The golf course. And people wait in line for hours to get in there. And they clean the place out. They take hundreds of. You know, some people will go in and they'll have orders from like 50 friends. Oh, yeah, it's. It's just a thing. It's a. It's a tradition. Every year a lot of people go and they get their new master's gear. That's what they do.
- [12:48]
Chris Hoadley
Gnomes.
- [12:49]
Brian Green
The gnomes go fast. You got to get on the gnomes. Yeah, you got to get on a gnome if you want a gnome. You got. They. They make like, I don't know, a thousand of them a year. You got to get on them quick. So Patrick goes. So. And then I go into Patrick's house yesterday. I'm pretty impressed by all the, the actual masters. Masters, GE cups, the plastic cups, like the whole thing. You know, the little, the little tooth master's toothpicks that you put in the sandwiches. It's all very impressive. I was like, wow, okay, great. And there's a guy there. And Patrick introduced him, a friend. I've never met the guy before. And so I said, hey, how was your time on Friday? And he said, it was great. We got a tour of butler cabin. And I was like, what? So CBS has been doing the Masters forever and likely will do it forever. They have limited commercial interruptions. They have two sponsors. IBM, Mercedes Benz. It's been that way for years.
- [13:36]
Chris Hoadley
And Rolex.
- [13:37]
Brian Green
Oh, and Rolex too. Yeah, yeah, Rolex does, You're right. But Rolex is like a Minor sponsor. The two big ones are IBM and Mercedes. And I think they do like 12 minute commercial break an hour during the Sunday coverage and like 2 on Saturday coverage. They're not paying for how many times their logo gets flashed. They're paying for the exclusivity of being abutted to the Masters.
- [13:58]
Chris Hoadley
That's right.
- [13:59]
Brian Green
And in this way, the Master's coverage has always been done correctly by cbs. And so if they keep on doing it that way, I think they'll be there for a long time. But now, used to be ESPN would carry a couple extra hours of coverage each day, and then CBS would cover some two prime time hours Thursday and Friday and then six hours of coverage Saturday, seven hours of coverage on Sunday. Well, now Prime, Amazon prime will carry all of the. They carry like five different channels. Starts at 9:30 in the morning. You can stream Amen Corner feature featured groups. I'm probably speaking French to a lot of people out there, but just trust me that this is going somewhere. So CBS every year has the exclusive right to Jim Nance, the guy, like the main guy who does the coverage has the exclusive right to. And ESPN to be in downstairs in Butler's cabin next to a fireplace where they will talk to golfers and then
- [14:56]
Chris Hoadley
where they present the green jacket.
- [14:57]
Brian Green
Where they present the green jacket. The old winner presents the new winner. Or in this case, Rory presents myself. Yeah, Rory present Rory. But it's kind of one of those traditions that if you've watched a lot of the Masters coverage, you go, oh, the Butler's cabin. That's cool, right? And yeah, and they're in an actual cabin. It's not a set. They're in the cabin. Butler's cabin. Butler was a guy who was a trail, a train magnate from the Northeast. And when Augusta national was in a lot of financial trouble long time ago, back in the 30s or 40s, they were in financial trouble. The course was in terrible management. The Masters was not what it is today. It was like an invitational golf tournament, not a major. That train magnet, Mr. Butler, he said, magnate, he said, I'll fund the repairs and some stuff that needs to be done on the course. But you're going to build me. I want a cabin right off the golf course. Because I don't want to take a train up and down, you know, I want to. If I'm going to be here, I want to be here.
- [15:53]
Chris Hoadley
You want to be on course.
- [15:54]
Brian Green
I want to be on the course. Right. And so they built Butler's cabin, probably one of the oldest cabins that sits there. There's a bunch of Them, but probably one of the oldest ones and probably the most prestigious. And Patrick is telling me he got a tour of Butler Cabin, which I'm like, you're full of fucking shit. No one goes up Butler's cabin. They're doing CBS coverage in there. He says, no, no, no, no, no. This guy's uncle. And he points to the guy in the corner who I just met. This guy's uncle is one of the members on the telecommunications committee inside of Augusta national. And he has been staying in Butler's cabin the week of the masters every year, 15 years in a row.
- [16:31]
Chris Hoadley
Wow.
- [16:31]
Brian Green
Staying there. Invited us staying there. It's an eight bedroom. It's an eight bedroom cabin. I did not know this. It's been renovated, obviously, since when it
- [16:40]
Chris Hoadley
was there since the 30s or 40s.
- [16:42]
Brian Green
But when you're a member of Augusta national, and I think there are hundreds of members now that are still living when you're a member of Augusta national, and I did know this because I knew someone who was a member. When you are a member, you have a job on Masters Week and you can choose how involved you get. You can be on a committee or you can be out walking amongst the patrons, telling people to go left or go right or what. Just generally being a host of the tournament. This guy apparently has volunteered to be on the telecommunications committee, the committee that decides where the cameras are going to be placed, how much they're going to pay for the television rights, who is prime going to get this, and CBS is going to get that. Whatever. I don't know all the details. I didn't talk to the actual guy, but he has been on that committee for 15 years. And when you're on a committee, you can choose or you can ask to be in a cabin, and they will put you up in the cabin for the week. So you're on the grounds, on site, something happens, you're there, whatever, and then when you get it, you just stay there until you decide you don't want to be on the committee or you're just too old to do it anymore.
- [17:44]
Chris Hoadley
Really?
- [17:44]
Brian Green
Yeah. And so 15 years running, this guy has been inside, staying in Butler's cabin. What an amazing fucking story. So there's a lot more to it. I talked to the guy for a few minutes. He was regaling us with stuff.
- [17:56]
Chris Hoadley
Yeah. I bet you made your way back over to him after you figured out who he was.
- [17:59]
Brian Green
I did, yeah. I told him if he. If his uncle needed any help next year to let me know that I was a telecommunications expert as My phone is always in my hand. I could walk around the course and get covered.
- [18:12]
Chris Hoadley
You yourself are a magnate.
- [18:13]
Brian Green
I am a magnate. That's right. I am a podcast magnet. I don't think they put. I think they put me at like the. Where the Hooters used to be. The Hooters closed down. They used to be the most popular. They used to say that John Daly. John Daly, the famous drunk golfer, was the biggest personality in all of sports. I think, quite frankly, he always had a party, an informal party at the Hooters across the street from Augusta National. Was there for decades. It's not there anymore. They closed it. But he would be in the. They saved him a seat. He was in the corner of the bar watching the golf and doing his own commentary. I'm sure he was.
- [18:55]
Chris Hoadley
That would have been fun.
- [18:55]
Brian Green
I went to that Hooters one time during the Masters week. I went there to go have some. I think it was lunch or dinner or something. I did not see John Daly, but the place was so packed. We ended up leaving after getting a beer. Yeah, they. It was like a 14 hour wait.
- [19:10]
Chris Hoadley
I was like, those girls made some money.
- [19:11]
Brian Green
Oh, you gotta imagine they did. All those, you know, drunk white idiots coming in there and just laying on it, laying it on thick. But anyway, this was an amazing story. And Patrick said they got a whole tour of Butler's cabin. All the bedrooms.
- [19:24]
Chris Hoadley
Incredible.
- [19:24]
Brian Green
They got to go downstairs and look at the. Where the.
- [19:27]
Chris Hoadley
The fireside.
- [19:27]
Brian Green
Yeah, the fireside. Yeah. And I just thought that wing bag chairs. Yeah, the wing back chairs from 1972. Yeah. It's a tradition like no other. And if you're into it, then, you know, and if you're not into it, then it just seems stupid. But, you know, there's lots of stupid. There's stupider shit to be a part of in this world than the mess.
- [19:45]
Chris Hoadley
Just for a few hours, you could forget about the craziness that is the world.
- [19:50]
Brian Green
Yeah. The double secret blockade that's happening right now in the straights of four moves. I mean, what in the world. Are we threatening the Pope? Yeah, threatening the Pope. Double secret probation on the Straits of four moves. He's down at his golf club hitting on, you know, 18 year old women. I just don't even know. When are we going to decide, Republicans? Because I think most anybody else, even independents like me, have long since hitched our wagon somewhere else. When are we going to decide that something must be done. And what must be done is he must go. He must go. He's too old he's too crazy and he's too psychopathic to be in office. He's dangerous. He's dangerous. He's killing the economy. He's making the world a more dangerous place. He's full of fucking shit. And he doesn't know up from down. He just does a double secret blockade. What do we do? It was already blockaded. Why are we now doing more blockades? You can't win this particular war like this. You cannot. You have to sit down at the negotiation table and figure out how you get to from point A to point B. But bombing the shit out of them, they are way more well prepared than anybody imagined. And you know what? That should have been clear three weeks ago. And you should have said, well, my bad. You should have said, my bad. Let's go back to the negotiation table and stop sending a bunch of fucking dipshits over there to do the job of men. Who are we sending? A hedge fund guy, Jared Kushner, who clearly has financial interests every which way to Sunday in the Middle east. And then JD Vance, who just looks like a. A swollen pop tart. I mean, he really does. What's wrong with that guy? We shouldn't just J.D. devance with anything. No, that guy two years ago was like the biggest anti Trumper in the world. And then all of a sudden, now he's got a pair of balls in his mouth. Yeah, a pair of saggy golf balls in his mouth and they're attached to Donald Trump.
- [21:44]
Chris Hoadley
Just become Catholic and then write a book about it.
- [21:47]
Brian Green
Yes.
- [21:47]
Chris Hoadley
Okay, great.
- [21:48]
Brian Green
Yeah, he wrote a book about it. Now he's talking shit about the Pope. And it's just a mess. It's all a mess. I hate it so much for our country because I really do love this country with all my heart. I really do. I love it with all my heart. And we have no friends left in the world except for bad ones. And we don't. And now Viktor Orban is gone. I'm not even sure we have any friends, but, you know, Viktor Orban is gone. In Hungary, Trump's finding himself very isolated and he's taking us all with him. And you know, okay, you voted for the guy or whatever, you thought he was going to make good on the promise for the economy. It hasn't happened. It's not going to happen. He does not have anybody's interest.
- [22:24]
Chris Hoadley
Gotten worse.
- [22:25]
Brian Green
Yeah, it's gotten worse and it's going to continue to get worse because he can't see straight. The guy is old. He is Joe Biden. Times 11. You know what? Joe had people around him, and maybe you didn't like their decisions, but they weren't trying to blow up the world. You know what I'm saying? They had people around him, helping him with the auto pen or whatever, Whatever you want to do, whatever, however you want to. Imagine that all went down. There'll be a book someday, I'm sure. Yeah, but Trump has nobody around him that's willing to say anything except for yes.
- [22:55]
Chris Hoadley
More, please.
- [22:56]
Brian Green
Yeah, more dick. It's crazy. Did you see that? Don Jr. S getting married and he had a. They had a wedding shower. Or that girl that he's marrying, I don't even know her name. I could care less. Down in Mar a Lago, you've never seen something so gaudy in your life.
- [23:16]
Chris Hoadley
Can only imagine.
- [23:17]
Brian Green
You've never seen so much liposuction and lip fillers and in your entire life. It was incredible. It was insane. Anyway, all right, listen, we'll take a break and then, yeah, we'll come back and we'll talk more shit, because that's what we do. We'd like to, you know, we're having fun. Vote for who you want to. Don't worry about it. Voting doesn't have consequences, kids. Don't worry about it. If you voted for Trump, it's okay. You can come in from the cold. We're all right. It's warm over here. We're not gonna. You know, we're. We're not.
- [23:46]
Chris Hoadley
Say my bad. Bad and.
- [23:48]
Brian Green
And we'll say my bad and we'll welcome you back. Just say sorry. That's all we're looking for is an I'm sorry. Yeah, okay. We'll be back.
- [23:58]
Rachel
Okay. You're probably wondering why I, Rachel, have taken over the voice duties at tcb. It's pretty simple. Astrid asked me to shut Brian up, even for a minute. Well, lovely Astrid, your wish is my command. Do you want to help Astrid, too? Do you know you do. Leave a message for her or me or Chrissy at 212-4333 TCB. That's 212-433-3822. You can be on the show, too. Just call and say something, anything. Or text us, and we'll text you right back. Promise. Then head over to tcbpodcast.com and get your free sticker. It's your constitutional right to a sticker, and we must abide. You get the point? Follow us on Instagram hecommercialbreak and watch all the episodes on video@YouTube.com TheCommercialBreak Best to you and Astrid. Especially Astrid.
- [24:52]
Chris Hoadley
Instacart makes grocery shopping easier. And just because you're not doing the shopping yourself doesn't mean you don't care how it's done. With Instacart Shopper notes, you can get particular about what you want right in the app. Like rotisserie chicken. That's extra crispy steak with marbling the Romans would have loved, and lettuce you'd actually pick yourself. Just leave a note for your shopper so they can get it right for you without having to ask. That way you can get groceries just how you like. Download the Instacart app and shop today.
- [25:23]
Brian Green
Oh.
- [25:25]
Chris Hoadley
What?
- [25:25]
Brian Green
I just. Donald Trump's outside the White House, and they're asking about the post that he made with him as Jesus Christ laying his hands on some guy and healing him. And he said, only the fake news media could come up with that one. One. I'm a. It was me as a doctor with a. And I'm part of the Red Cross. It's like the amount of bullshit that comes out of this guy's mouth. Oh, man. What about Melania last week just coming out and dropping about to be Epstein? I think that can only mean one thing. Two things. Two things, actually. Number one, something's about to come out.
- [25:57]
Chris Hoadley
Oh, yeah.
- [25:58]
Brian Green
Yeah. That.
- [25:59]
Chris Hoadley
No.
- [25:59]
Brian Green
And mind blowing.
- [26:00]
Chris Hoadley
Yeah. And it's. Well, it's that other. The woman that.
- [26:03]
Brian Green
Yeah, the woman that was good.
- [26:05]
Chris Hoadley
They were all good friends.
- [26:06]
Brian Green
The modeling agencies.
- [26:08]
Chris Hoadley
The modeling agencies.
- [26:09]
Brian Green
And she got deported. Yes.
- [26:11]
Chris Hoadley
They got divorced. And she. And he deported her.
- [26:14]
Brian Green
Yes.
- [26:14]
Chris Hoadley
To Brazil, I think.
- [26:15]
Brian Green
Yeah.
- [26:16]
Chris Hoadley
And so she's coming out hard. She's like, I'm gonna spill it all.
- [26:19]
Brian Green
I hope she does. I hope before someone gets to her and pays her a bunch of money or does some other nefarious bullshit that she has a chance, you know? I hope she's shopping that story immediately, if not soon.
- [26:29]
Chris Hoadley
Yeah. Because it seems bizarre. I was like, why? Okay, Melania's coming out and saying.
- [26:34]
Brian Green
Yeah. People have been. Been saying this for years. They've been saying that she's connected to Epstein and that Epstein had something to do with Trump and her meeting and that they were all friends. There's pictures, hundreds of them, of her and Epstein and Trump or her and Epstein or her and Trump and Epstein. It's like there are hundreds of pictures. There's no doubt that she knew Epstein. And then all of a sudden, she has to come out and yell and scream about it. It doesn't make much sense unless you're trying to get ahead of a story and control the narrative to your base, to the people who will believe you. And. Or number two, you are distancing yourself from your husband because you are concerned that you don't want to hitch your wagon to him too tightly. You want to make it clear. I mean, honestly, Melania. Just as bad as Trump. Just as bad as Trump.
- [27:18]
Chris Hoadley
Yeah.
- [27:19]
Brian Green
Did you watch that movie, Melania?
- [27:21]
Chris Hoadley
Of course not.
- [27:22]
Brian Green
I don't even search it because I don't even want it to be like, I don't want to add another search to the Milani. I just, yeah, I'm not going to watch some fucking, you know, whack off movie about.
- [27:34]
Chris Hoadley
I don't care.
- [27:34]
Brian Green
I don't care either. I really don't. I. I hope that this all ends, you know, I hope this all ends quickly. I hope that everyone just goes away. That's what I hope. Yeah, listen, it happened with Nixon. I just watched all the President's Men.
- [27:48]
Chris Hoadley
Oh, that's a great movie.
- [27:49]
Brian Green
Over the course of two nights, because I couldn't stay awake for the whole thing. But I watched it over the course of two nights and I've seen it before, probably years ago. But it's, it is a great movie and it's a movie about how it's Robert Redford, right, Robert Redford and Dustin Hoffman and a cast of other illustrious actors, character actors and stuff that play the guys at the Washington Post, Woodward and Bernstein, who broke the Watergates, who didn't break the Watergate story. They got the whole picture. They understood that it went to the top, that there was a big slush fund where for years a lot of the intelligence community in the United States was working to sabotage Democratic campaigns on behalf of Nixon and Halderman. Who were the two, you know, I think who was the. The attorney General at the time, or something like that, or the communications director, something like that. But it's really the story of how the minutia of that story, that dogged reporting came together and how important they felt it was to get it right and check the story and double check the story and triple check the story and how their lives were in danger, doing so, how they were being threatened, along with many other people, to shut the fuck up and go away. And, you know, it just makes me really believe in the power of the free press and how important. How, how it's more important now than it ever was.
- [29:08]
Chris Hoadley
Absolutely. In this day and age with literally fake news. I mean, Trump coined that term years ago, but, you know, with the all the AI news and things that are out there. And then, and then how newsrooms are being slashed, you know, totally slashed.
- [29:25]
Brian Green
300 reporters.
- [29:27]
Chris Hoadley
That's so important. We need that. Actual real stories.
- [29:31]
Brian Green
Absolutely. And so when Melania comes out and bashes the press, saying that, like telling us to our faces that what we see with our own eyes is not in fact true, it reminds me that there still are very good dogged, determined on both sides of the aisle, leaning left, leaning right, working for this, working for of that, that are willing to put out the hard stories and do the hard work. And I commend them and I support them.
- [30:00]
Chris Hoadley
Yes.
- [30:00]
Brian Green
And I say keep fucking going. Like we, it's important that we figure this out. It's important that we figure out the whole story so that we aren't thrown under the bus by this kind of pitch of bullshit that comes from, by the way, both sides of the aisle. Both sides of the aisle. You know what, what's good for the goose.
- [30:18]
Chris Hoadley
Look at the Democratic guy in California, Eric Swalwell. Yes.
- [30:21]
Brian Green
What's good for the goose is good for the gander. Fuck you, Eric Swalwell. Amen. You know, I'm sorry for my judgments. It's between me and my wife. No, fuck you, dude. You put yourself on top of the pedestal as if you were the guy who's gonna fight fire with fire with Trump. And I commend any work that you did on behalf of that. But you know what? All the while, yeah, all the while you're sleeping with 18 year old interns at best. At best. And sexually assaulting them at worst. It's like, dude, we don't need you, bro. No, go somewhere else. This guy was a prosecutor. This guy was a prosecutor. To imagine any of this is true would be the worst kind of hypocrisy. And terrible at, on top of that, for ruining lives. And it's not one, it's not two, it's not three. There are apparently dozens of these women out there. Dozens.
- [31:11]
Chris Hoadley
Yeah. Well, one came forward and then they thought that there's four more. And then now it's.
- [31:16]
Brian Green
Yeah, there's a whole slew of them. Now there's like different women on the Internet who are working on behalf. This all was all broken on Instagram, essentially this one girl on Instagram who just had messages from people after she put out a video of her on a zoom call with Eric Swalwell and a bunch of other influencers, like media type influencers who were going to get his campaign message out there to the world. He was asking them to get on a zoom phone call. If you like what I'm saying, send it to your followers. And then when she put that message out there, she got messages from people saying, hey, this guy is fucking no good. Yeah, he's no good. Good. He's assaulted me or he assaulted my friend or I know a girl who knows a girl who. Assault. I mean, it's a pattern with this guy. He's a fucking psychopath, too. Get him out. Bye. Bye. See you later. Out of your seat. You don't belong here. It's time that. On all sides of the aisle. And listen, I will give the Democrats a little bit of credit here. When the story broke, so many of them just immediately were like, no, see you later. Gotta go. Not all of them. Them, but some of them. That's the way it should be. Yes, that's the way it should be.
- [32:22]
Chris Hoadley
Look, nobody's going to be a saint. Nobody's going to be perfect. But let's stay within some lines here.
- [32:28]
Brian Green
Yeah. Sexual assault should be the line where we just not.
- [32:31]
Chris Hoadley
We don't accept it.
- [32:32]
Brian Green
We don't accept it. It's not acceptable in our politicians. It's not acceptable in our priests. It's not acceptable in our neighbors. It's just not there. And we should not. This should not be a paper tiger. We should not just let these things fly because we like his tax policy.
- [32:48]
Chris Hoadley
Right?
- [32:49]
Brian Green
Fucking bullshit. Right. I don't expect that the President of the United States or anybody else is going to be moral high ground. Right. That's for my. My wife, my priests and the people that I trust to. To look to them as for moral compasses. But I don't expect them to be predators.
- [33:07]
Chris Hoadley
Right.
- [33:08]
Brian Green
Sexual assaulters. If they cheated on their taxes, you know, a couple thousand dollars, God bless America. I don't know what to tell you. That's a. You know, that. That. It is what it is. That to me is a very gray area. If they. Yeah, I can even. I can even overlook that, you know, I made some money because of my political connections. I can even overlook a little bit of that bullshit because that's been going on forever and ever and will continue to go on. What I can't overlook is clear moral hazard. Clear moral hazard. Yes.
- [33:39]
Chris Hoadley
Lying, cheating, stealing.
- [33:40]
Brian Green
Yes.
- [33:41]
Chris Hoadley
I mean, doing wrong. I mean, you know what's wrong.
- [33:43]
Brian Green
You know what's wrong. You know what's wrong. And Eric Swalwell is a. And you know what? Get him out of there. I don't care. And that sucks. You know, I don't think I ever really liked Eric Swalwell, if I'm just being honest.
- [33:54]
Chris Hoadley
I never thought I wasn't paying too much attention to him. Yeah.
- [33:57]
Brian Green
I never thought he was, like, my favorite guy, but I always thought, okay, he's talking shit about Trump. He's taking the fight to. He's fighting fire with fire. I guess I can appreciate that, that. But there's something always a little weird about his eyes. I look at someone's eyes and I say, what's up with you? And I always saw the little shiftiness in his eyes. He was always moving those eyes. It's always in the eyes, Chrissy. Look in the eyes. That's what I do. Look in my eyes. Look into my eyes. Yeah. And so I would say this right now is that in November, we have a chance to take it to the streets and make a difference and change it up. And I don't care if you're Republican, and I don't care if you're a Democrat. I don't care if you're Independent. I don't care if you, you know.
- [34:47]
Chris Hoadley
Yeah, just vote.
- [34:48]
Brian Green
Fly fat pigs for a living. I don't give a shit. Vote. But then I also don't give a shit if you're a politician who's on either side of the aisle. If you agree that whatever's going on in the country right now, the leadership is clearly. It's a train that has no tracks. Yeah. It's a bad deal for the American people. I don't care who you identify with, I will vote for you. Because whatever is next has got to be better than what's happening now. It's got to be. It's got to be. There's no question about it.
- [35:19]
Chris Hoadley
I know. I keep thinking it can't get worse, and it does.
- [35:23]
Brian Green
This is not going to end well. I'm telling you right now, one way or the other, this is going to implode. It is going to implode. And that either means that, you know, some drama is going to happen around election time and, you know, there's going to be ice. Office. Yeah, that's it. That's the next thing, too. It's like, you know, you start fucking with the elections and you really start fucking with the backbone of the democracy. And so I would say that, you know, we got to keep our head on a swivel here.
- [35:50]
Chris Hoadley
Yeah, we do.
- [35:51]
Brian Green
I don't think this is.
- [35:52]
Chris Hoadley
There's some stuff going on in Georgia we need to keep our eye on.
- [35:54]
Brian Green
Yeah, Yeah. I mean, I have always liked Governor Kemp. I've liked Governor Kemp for a long time and I'll tell you why. I don't like his Republican policies. I don't like his conservatism on social issues. I don't like that. But I like Governor Kemp because he has found a way to thread that needle between not being a Trump supporter and still being a good leader. Right. In. In times when it was needed. I think he did a pretty good job of getting us through the pandemic here in Georgia. He didn't like, like, you know, keep us all in our houses like they did in New York. But he also didn't just let you know. He also, you know, set up tents and got people free shots and, you know, got people free tests and all that stuff. So. And he pushed back against Trump when it was time to push back against Trump when it really mattered. He did. And so I think he's like, you're right.
- [36:44]
Chris Hoadley
He seems to have been able to distance himself and not just be completely falling all over Trump and whoever's around Trump.
- [36:51]
Brian Green
Yes. And. And he was voted back in office handily because I think a lot of people in Georgia, I like to think of Georgia even though it's a purple state, no doubt about it, and it votes red more than it votes blue. It's a purple state, but I like to think of. And we have Marjorie Taylor Greene. We had Marjorie Taylor Greene.
- [37:09]
Chris Hoadley
He's completely flipped.
- [37:11]
Brian Green
Yeah. Now who's like the sane voice in
- [37:13]
Chris Hoadley
the room should tell us all something.
- [37:17]
Brian Green
When you're looking at MJT to give you some good advice, it's like, what? What are we doing? But I'll say this. I've always thought of at least the Atlanta area, the metro Atlanta area. The people that I grew up with have been here for a long time to be level headed people.
- [37:32]
Chris Hoadley
Yes.
- [37:33]
Brian Green
Right. We don't want to, we don't want all this noise. We don't want all this bullshit. We don't want this Trump guy. There's lots of Trump supporters in Georgia, don't get me wrong. But I think a good chunk of the people and friends and circles that I travel in, they can appreciate that Trump is really fucking looney Tune and this is no good for the country. And so I think that Governor Kemp figured out a way to kind of ride that sentiment into the office as much as he could. You know, he's been our governor for a while now. And so now we've got like, you know, Raccoon Williams. I'm Raccoon Williams and I Was. What is he? I jury rigged the lottery to make myself a billionaire, and now I'm here to tell you that the illegals are taking your money. I'm like, you're a gambling magnate, dude. What did you do? What is he? He's like a. Yeah, he's some. Right?
- [38:32]
Chris Hoadley
I don't know all of the ones.
- [38:33]
Brian Green
And I see those commercials, and it pisses me off.
- [38:35]
Chris Hoadley
Bert Jones or whatever, and I'm Raccoon Williams.
- [38:40]
Brian Green
My daddy left me when I was four years old, and I killed two men to get my first dollar. And since then, I've been stealing from the government and gambling away your money. I support President Trump and all his cronies. Vote for me. I say more guns, less women. The eccoons. Yeah, more raccoons. The illegals need to go. E Legals. Like, E Legals. It's like they're electronic legals. E Legals. What a fucking nut, Nick. I swear to God. What a fucking nut, Nick. Oh, my God. Yeah. We have something better than Raccoon Williams for governor. That would be appreciated. I hope it doesn't go from Kemp to Raccoon Williams. I really don't. Yeah, but, man, he's got so many fucking commercials. Guy's got a pile of money, I'll tell you that much. Because he's got a commercial on every 30 seconds. I hope everybody in Georgia is seeing the same thing. I'm seeing thing that he's telling you. Right. In his commercials. He's a thief.
- [39:53]
Chris Hoadley
Yeah.
- [39:54]
Brian Green
And that he hates everybody. And then there's the other guy, Bert Jones or whatever. I'm Bert Jones. If I don't win, I'll never be a politician again. That's my promise to you. That's like, one of his commercials. And I'm like, okay, great deal. Okay, see you later, Bert. Do we even have a Democrat?
- [40:12]
Chris Hoadley
I don't know.
- [40:13]
Brian Green
I don't think we do. I think the Democrats just giving up the governor's office here in Georgia. Georgia. John Ossoff is our best bet, but. Yeah, yeah, yeah, okay. We got what we got. You know, I'm not. It's not like I'm. I'm not gonna go to a campaign rally for the guy, but, you know,
- [40:33]
Chris Hoadley
I think there's another guy that, like, used to be a Republican, and he switched.
- [40:37]
Brian Green
Okay, so I'll take that.
- [40:38]
Chris Hoadley
Yeah.
- [40:39]
Brian Green
He said he's sorry. Did he say he's sorry? I think that's what I want to hear. All right, let's take a break. We'll be. Be back
- [40:48]
Rachel
Let me do something Brian has never done. Be brief. Follow us on Instagram at the commercial break, text or call us 212-433-33, TCB. That's 212-433-822. Visit our website, tcbpodcast.com for all the audio, video and your free sticker. Then watch all the videos@YouTube.com the commercial break and finally, finally share the show. It's the best gift you could give a few aging podcasters. See, Brian, that really wasn't that difficult, now, was it? You're welcome.
- [41:29]
Brian Green
Well, it was inevitable. Britney Spears went to rehab.
- [41:32]
Chris Hoadley
Yep. Saw it.
- [41:32]
Brian Green
I wonder if her and Tiger are in the same place.
- [41:34]
Chris Hoadley
No, I think he's gone international.
- [41:36]
Brian Green
Yeah, he went. He has to.
- [41:37]
Chris Hoadley
Yeah.
- [41:37]
Brian Green
I mean, I don't even know if he can get away from that kind of fame internationally, but he. Yeah, both these people, they just got DUIs, and so they're doing what the judge wants to see, which is taking some kind of accountability. But is. I think Tiger's kind of a lost cause. I think with all those physical issues, he's going to have to be on pain medication for the rest of his life. He just needs to not.
- [41:57]
Chris Hoadley
He's a driver.
- [41:57]
Brian Green
That's right. I was talking to somebody about this last night.
- [42:00]
Chris Hoadley
Yeah, me, too. We were saying.
- [42:02]
Brian Green
Dumb as fucking shit.
- [42:02]
Chris Hoadley
Because the privacy thing. Whatever. Get your. Get it soundproofed.
- [42:06]
Brian Green
Yeah.
- [42:06]
Chris Hoadley
In the. In the back of your Suburban.
- [42:08]
Brian Green
Yeah. They have limousines with windows. You know what I'm saying? Like, I'm sure they're still out there. You can probably. Probably buy an old one and get it refurbished. You're a Katrillionaire. You don't need to be driving yourself anywhere. I understand the freedom of driving. I like it. Also, I don't like to. I don't like when I have to get into a cab or an Uber. It's not my favorite thing in the world. I prefer to have my hands on the wheel. But when you're seven Vicodins and a cup of coffee in right, you're gonna have to figure out a way to get from point A to point B. Can't a friend pick you up or something? Like, don't you have somebody you trust? You're paying that caddy a lot of money. Tell him to come pick you up. You know what I'm saying? Saying, that poor caddy. Worst job in the world for that caddy. Tigers played six tournaments in 10 years and never placed more than a hundredth. And he just keeps on getting into the car. Accidents and almost dying or killing somebody. But Britney went to rehab, apparently for booze and Aderall, which is a problem that some people are saying she's had for a very long time. That makes some sense. You see those videos with her, the smeared makeup and, and, you know, juggling knives and fire and all that stuff, and the dog shit in the background. You know, you'd think if you're taking Adderall, you'd be a little more focused on cleaning up the house, but. Okay, all right. But clearly I don't want to make fun because I think that Brittany actually does have legit, legit mental health issues that do need to be addressed in a setting that is not professional setting. Yeah. And I hope she's getting, like, real deal treatment. Yeah. And. And I just watched a story, I think it was on Vice News, if I'm not mistaken. The most expensive rehab in the world is in Denmark, I believe. And it is like Chuck, full of super professional psychiatrists and therapists and, you know, medical professionals. And you're in a castle basically overlooking some beautiful, you know, Denmark lake or whatever it is. And it's like $29,000 a day. It's crazy. Like, minimum 15 day stay, blah, blah, blah. Super private. I don't know how Vice News got in there, but super private. But they did a tour and it's like, you know, but it also seems like you're getting the kind of treatment that you can afford, like the best kind of treatment from a lot of professionals who probably know what the fuck they're doing and aren't willing. The thing is, is that if you're Britney Spears or your Tiger woods and you walk into a rehab facility, any older rehab facility, it's likely you're going to get a lot of the same treatment that you get out there in the world, and that is that Tiger has any doctor he wants in the world to prescribe him 60 Vicominin because of his. And that's a legitimate medical purpose. Brittany was apparently going down to Mexico to buy her Adderall. That's why she was visiting Mexico so often is because she was walking into the pharmacies and getting Adderall. Don't you have someone that can do that for you? I mean, don't you have, like a Michael Jackson type who can go down, you know, like. Like Michael had a bunch of people that would just get his shit for him. Matthew Perry. I mean, listen, I get it. You're addicted. You're addicted. You got to do what you got to do. But What a dangerous proposition for Britney Spears to be down in Mexico buying Adderall.
- [45:04]
Chris Hoadley
That doesn't make sense.
- [45:05]
Brian Green
It doesn't. And in Cancun or. I don't know where she was, but I remember. But anyway, you walk into one of those places, you're going to get the same kind of treatment you're getting.
- [45:13]
Chris Hoadley
Yeah.
- [45:14]
Brian Green
In your normal life, which is everybody.
- [45:16]
Chris Hoadley
Everybody's saying, yes, that's it.
- [45:18]
Brian Green
Willing to blow. Blow smoke up your ass. You need to go to a place where they know how to treat and how to deal with entitled human beings, and they're not willing to kowtow to your every desire. I mean, you're paying $36,000, $29,000 a day. Whatever it is, It's. I can see how it would be easy to believe that you deserve whatever it is you want, but I would imagine that place hasn't. Has notoriety because it's known to tell people no truth. Yeah. No, you're in trouble. You. I mean, there's only one or two ways. You either go to the place in Denmark or you go to the local AA meeting in downtown Atlanta. You know what I'm saying? Like in some shack somewhere where everyone there is grizzled old alcoholic veterans. And you just say, you know, I'm gonna subject myself to whatever it is. The program is committed to it. Yeah. And I hope they both get the treatment that they need. I really do. Because Britney Spears don't love her music, but I know that she's an incredibly loved. And there's talent there, and she could still have a back half of her career.
- [46:20]
Chris Hoadley
She really could. Everybody's rooting for her.
- [46:22]
Brian Green
Everybody. There's not one person. But I do think she needs a little. I do think she needs someone in her life to help her manage her ups and downs. And I'm not saying that's her dad or conservativeship, but I think there needs to be some kind of structure.
- [46:34]
Chris Hoadley
Yeah. A manager.
- [46:35]
Brian Green
Yeah. She just got $200 million, you know.
- [46:38]
Chris Hoadley
Oh, right. For her catalog.
- [46:39]
Brian Green
Yeah. She needs something. Like, she just needs something get. Get her somebody in. In her life, in her orbit. I mean, I hate to say this, but it looks like that Kevin Federline's doing okay. Like maybe get him back in the mix and, you know.
- [46:51]
Chris Hoadley
Yeah. She's got those sons. I mean, if you want to have a good relationship with your children like that, you're going to have to get yourself together.
- [46:56]
Brian Green
Yeah. You can't be all pookied out on Adam all day long drinking tequila down in Mexico. While, you know, some hombre is bringing you bags full of Adderall. This is. It's not a good look. It's. Yeah, it's. It's. It's just bad news. Yeah, it's just bad news. It's. It's bound to end in disaster. You know, I. In. In so many different ways. Like, I was thinking about it last night. How many different ways could that go wrong? Britney Spears buying Adderall in Mexico. How many different ways could that go wrong? Somebody kidnapped her and ask for a couple million dollars to get her back or, you know, put something in the Adderall that isn't juicy. I mean, I don't know.
- [47:31]
Chris Hoadley
I mean, she must have been going, like, above and beyond what would have been maybe prescribed to her in the U.S. yeah, I mean, that's.
- [47:41]
Brian Green
Yeah, that's addiction.
- [47:42]
Chris Hoadley
That's a lot.
- [47:42]
Brian Green
You know, you start taking one, you need two, you start taking four, you need 10, you start taking 10, you go to Mexico. You know what I'm saying? I think that's kind of how it came out.
- [47:50]
Chris Hoadley
Wow.
- [47:51]
Brian Green
Yeah.
- [47:51]
Chris Hoadley
But I wish the best for her.
- [47:53]
Brian Green
I do wish the best for her. I wish the best for her. I also wish the best for Tiger, of course. I think he's old enough and I think he's sane enough to know better. Better, but, you know, to know better than to drive while you're high on Vicodin, let's put it that way. By the way, I watched the video of Tiger coming out of that car wreck. I am not 100% convinced that tiger was all that inebriated. I'm just not. That's just my personal opinion. I think he got a couple of zealous police officers that wanted to make sure they were doing things by the book.
- [48:24]
Chris Hoadley
Yeah.
- [48:25]
Brian Green
And then they decided something was amiss there. But, you know, I watched. Yeah, he wasn't really super following the commands on the. On the street, you know, those road tests or whatever.
- [48:37]
Chris Hoadley
Didn't he refuse.
- [48:38]
Brian Green
He refused a blood. He refused to draw blood.
- [48:41]
Chris Hoadley
Okay.
- [48:41]
Brian Green
Because he. They. He gave. He gave a breathalyzer.
- [48:44]
Chris Hoadley
Yeah.
- [48:44]
Brian Green
He blew zero. And then they asked him to give blood, and he said no, on the device of my attorney. I'm not going to get blood when you do that. It's an automatic. You're not going to get. Get away with it. You know, refusal. You can do it. But then the. Then it's the presumption of guilt rather than innocence because you're saying, no, I did this once. I know it's like you think that's what the lawyers are telling you to do. But you have to understand all the consequences of saying no to a breathalyzer road tests.
- [49:09]
Chris Hoadley
Yeah, I mean, I guess the evidence can't then be there to be used against you later.
- [49:13]
Brian Green
Yeah, that's right.
- [49:13]
Chris Hoadley
But in the time you're going to go to jail.
- [49:15]
Brian Green
That's right. And then you get the dui and then they got to sort it out later. Right. And it's usually reduced to a reckless driving or something like that. But I watched the whole video, and you. Yes, Tiger was acting like a douche, but he was not, in my opinion. He didn't seem super inebriated. He wasn't like falling asleep or slurring his words. He just seemed like Tiger. But he did pull this douchey mood.
- [49:36]
Chris Hoadley
Yeah, he flipped the car.
- [49:37]
Brian Green
He flipped the car. There's that.
- [49:40]
Chris Hoadley
He hit the other truck and flipped his car.
- [49:43]
Brian Green
Yeah, he was going 90 miles per hour down a residential street or something. But he had this douchey move where right after he got in the accident, everyone was okay. He never left the scene. But he walked away from the officer. And you can see in the video, the officer eventually thinks Tiger's just a little too far astray. Hey, excuse me, Mr. Woods. Mr. Woods, come back here. And Tiger's on the phone. You can hear him. He's like to the President, thanks. And he goes. And the officer goes, I just need you to stay here around with us. Right. I can't have you walking too far off from the scene. And he says, yeah, yeah. No, no, no. I was just talking to the president. It's like a total douchebag. Like, stop it, Tiger. Stop it. We all know you're God. Okay? We get it. But, you know, there's another child star. It's another child star. It's another child star. And as one of my friends has that pointed out yesterday, he said, when you are a professional athlete, they're all child stars because your body essentially peaks at 16, 17 years old. Most professional sports, you got five or six years at best. And tell me you're not already doing that and being pushed into that and being, you know, massaged and molded into this little athlete, even at a very young.
- [50:50]
Chris Hoadley
Very young.
- [50:51]
Brian Green
Yeah. Very rare that you hear a story where someone just, you know, picked up A baseball at 22 years.
- [50:56]
Chris Hoadley
Williams sisters turned out okay. Serena and Venus. And they were basically pushed into it from a young age.
- [51:03]
Brian Green
Yes.
- [51:03]
Chris Hoadley
But they seem to be good.
- [51:04]
Brian Green
Yes. Except for now, one of them is selling like a multivitamin Drink. You know, I have a special multivitamin drink that I made up just for you to replenish yourself.
- [51:15]
Chris Hoadley
I'll take that over DUIs.
- [51:17]
Brian Green
No, I'm with you. I'm with you. I'm with you. Also, I think everybody's a mess at some degree, to some level. Everyone's a mess. We all are. Right. It's just. How good is your publicist? Yeah.
- [51:28]
Chris Hoadley
Drivers.
- [51:29]
Brian Green
That's right.
- [51:29]
Chris Hoadley
And so you don't get into these
- [51:31]
Brian Green
situations, have children, it usually works out. The children will keep going.
- [51:35]
Chris Hoadley
They'll sober you right up.
- [51:36]
Brian Green
They'll sober you right up. Except for Brittany and Tiger. But besides that, they usually straighten you right out. I'm telling you right now, those kids, they. They. You cannot suffer fools around those children. They are. They are good. As a matter of fact, one of my kids asked me the other day about sex.
- [51:55]
Chris Hoadley
Oh, really?
- [51:57]
Brian Green
Yeah.
- [51:58]
Chris Hoadley
Wow.
- [51:59]
Brian Green
So now we're having that conversation. Okay, I'm not gonna get into it here. It's private between me and my children. But I'm just letting you know we've reached that point.
- [52:06]
Chris Hoadley
Oh, wow.
- [52:07]
Brian Green
We've reached that point in the show, kids, where that's a big deal where. Yeah. I'm gonna have to figure out exactly what to say.
- [52:14]
Chris Hoadley
Yes.
- [52:14]
Brian Green
Yeah. I mean, I'm pretty well versed, but I don't know how to communicate that a child. Right. But I know I can't avoid it. And I shouldn't, like, throw it on, just, like, sweep it under the rug. Because if I'm not the one talking, it's gonna be some in their class and. Yeah, that's correct. They're gonna be like, here, let me show you.
- [52:33]
Chris Hoadley
Take them to the zoo.
- [52:34]
Brian Green
What's that?
- [52:35]
Chris Hoadley
Take them to the zoo.
- [52:36]
Brian Green
Well, that's what I try to do.
- [52:37]
Chris Hoadley
Turtles are always mating.
- [52:38]
Brian Green
Yeah, that's true. That's true. Yeah. The turtles are all over each other. They say, like. Like bunnies. But is it really. Or is it like, turtles, or are we just always seeing it because it takes so much time?
- [52:49]
Chris Hoadley
Maybe, but I swear, every time I've
- [52:51]
Brian Green
been to the zoo, that those big,
- [52:52]
Chris Hoadley
large, huge turtles are.
- [52:54]
Brian Green
Yeah, well, listen, Last time we were there, I think we saw a rhino trying to mount another rhino.
- [53:06]
Chris Hoadley
Okay, we did. That's right.
- [53:06]
Brian Green
Yeah. And that was. Yeah, that's a rhino penis. I mean, I just had to say it out loud. That's a penis.
- [53:14]
Chris Hoadley
Yeah, there it is.
- [53:15]
Brian Green
One of my kids was like, wow, Why is it you're so small? That's a personal question. Kids never ask a lady Your age or a man his size. Just don't do it. Keep it out of the mouth. Keep it. Keep my wife out your mouth. Where's that Fresh Prince of Bel Air? When you knew.
- [53:41]
Chris Hoadley
Oh, yeah, yeah.
- [53:42]
Brian Green
I saw him a couple months ago. Did you see.
- [53:44]
Chris Hoadley
Well, no, I saw that there's, like, some family friend that's coming out and suing Jada Pinket Smith over, like, I don't know. He's been their friend for years. There's a lawsuit going on. I don't know,
- [54:00]
Brian Green
some personal assistant suing Howard Stern because. Do you see that one? No. She did. She. She was getting paid $325,000 a year, lived in his mansion, and was upset because he was telling her she had to sign a piece of paper that said she could never discuss what happens in the house.
- [54:20]
Chris Hoadley
Yeah. What? No, that's standard.
- [54:22]
Brian Green
And that it was an extremely stressful situation. Oh, God. Get up. Honestly now, if you. If the NDA gets broken by the judge and it comes out that there's more. I'm not. I'm not loyal to Howard Stern in any way.
- [54:34]
Chris Hoadley
No, I mean, if there's illegal things going on right now, it's private.
- [54:38]
Brian Green
Yeah.
- [54:39]
Chris Hoadley
Just want some privacy.
- [54:40]
Brian Green
Oh, she got fired, too, by the way. So it sounds like you had a job you got fired from, and now it's spoiled. You get 300, $125,000 a year, and you're living in Howard Stern's mansion. You got as good as it gets, kid. All right. At the commercial break on Instagram, YouTube.com, the commercial break, all the audio and all the video@tcbpodcast.com and your free sticker. Okay, Chrissy. I guess that's all I can do for now.
- [55:02]
Chris Hoadley
I think so.
- [55:03]
Brian Green
Say that I love you, and I love you best. You out there in the podcast universe. Until next time, Chrissy and I will say. We do say, and we must say goodbye, Sam.