Code Word: Yuckles

Summary

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The Commercial Break – “Code Word: Yuckles” (March 6, 2024)

Host: Bryan Green & Krissy Hoadley
Theme: Improv Comedy, Everyday Absurdities, and the Joys (and Pains) of Domestic Life

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Episode Overview

In this lively episode of The Commercial Break, Bryan and Krissy riff on everything from the quirks of home maintenance (with an overzealous landscaper and unreliable pool guys), to trends in social media, the nostalgia of ballpark concessions, and evolving relationship norms like co-sleeping. The duo also muses on the dangers of distracted driving and self-driving cars, rounding out the episode with their trademark blend of irreverent banter, personal anecdotes, and fast-and-loose takes on pop culture.

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Key Discussion Points

Home Services: “Juan, Stop Cutting My Dirt!”

• Bryan’s woes with his landscaper, Juan
  • Juan repeatedly ignores Bryan’s requests not to landscape during podcast recording times, and now comes multiple times a week even when there’s "literally no grass."
  • Memorable quote:
    • “I literally, literally have a dirt hole for my yard. And he’s coming four times a week... I asked him the other day, I go, dude, are you charging me every time you show up?” (02:08)
• Pool Guy Frustrations
  • In contrast, Bryan’s pool guy shows up far less than needed, yet bills him consistently.
  • “That pool is yellow. It looks like piss. I know you haven’t been here and if you have, you’re bad at your job.” (03:15)

Ballpark Nostalgia & Hot Dog Vendor Impressions

• Bryan & Krissy notice a TikTok trend (04:21) that mirrors a long-standing bit of theirs: pretending to be baseball stadium vendors.
• Bryan details the unique energy, voices, and sometimes commission-based hustle of these vendors.
  • His own impression:
    • “Get your hot dog here. Beer. Stand close at 7th inning” (05:04)
• Memorable ballpark stories:
  • Passing beers and food down crowded rows at the World Series.
  • The legendary Atlanta peanut thrower—forced to stop after a lawsuit (12:00).
  • Quote:
    • “He was throwing ‘em, throwing and throwing until one asshole got hit in the head with peanuts... She filed a lawsuit... Now all of us got to be inconvenienced. It just takes one to ruin it for everybody.” (12:15)

The Mystery of Ballpark Food

• Both compare the unique, inimitable flavor of stadium hot dogs and burgers.
  • “Even the goddamn hot dogs that have the name ‘Ballpark’ on them don’t taste like ballpark hot dogs.” – Bryan (14:58)
  • They muse about cooking methods and theories involving “yesterday’s water”—like a cast iron pan that gets better with use (16:01).
• Dream Burgers & Hidden Gems:
  • Bryan lists top burger spots: a 100-year-old oil-fried burger in Memphis (Dyer’s), Fred’s Meat & Bread in Atlanta, and Culver’s butter burgers (18:47-21:38).
  • “It was like an oil starter, and it was the most like thin, crispy patties, melted cheese, like just melty, gooey, just... American crappy cheese. Just the lovely stuff.” – Bryan (16:53)

Relationship Trends: Co-Sleeping & Personal Sleep Habits

• Discussion of celebrities (possibly Gwyneth Paltrow–“don’t take anything I say seriously!”) who sleep in separate bedrooms or even houses.
  • “That’s taking it far. I can’t even house with you.” – Krissy (23:26)
• Reflections on past generations:
  • “My grandparents... always slept that way until the day he died. Two singles in a room, TV in between.” – Bryan (25:36)
• Modern marriage realities: Sleep comfort vs. tradition:
  • “I can maybe understand different beds or rooms for sickness or if someone is a disturbingly loud sleeper.” – Bryan (24:16)
  • “Sleep is one of the ways we protect our brains and bodies. If I’m feeling tired, it means one of two things: advanced age... or I don’t want to be talking to you right now.” – Bryan (33:43)
• Cuddling dilemmas and ‘signature moves’:
  • “I cannot cuddle with someone all night long. That I cannot do. It’s too much.” – Bryan (29:16)
• Bryan jokes about having “31” (later “50”) kids disrupting his sleep and napping ambitions:
  • “I wish I could nap. I wish I had your luck.” (34:52)
  • On his daughter’s sleep routine:
    • “She needs me to be walking, bouncing her and singing the song at the same time.” (38:24)
    • Song of choice: “Let’s go fly a kite…”

Distracted Driving & Self-Driving Cars

• Rant on the rise of in-car video watching:
  • “It’s always some guy in a truck... watching a movie or television show while he’s driving.” – Bryan (40:01)
  • Magic Link device enables full phone screen mirroring in cars; Bryan is astounded by its legality and the obvious dangers (41:12).
  • “He was sitting in a turning lane, people behind him honking, he’s still watching the show as if he’s waiting for the scene to be over.” (42:17)
• Musings on technological overreach:
  • Self-driving cars remain a myth, especially in complex urban situations.
    • “Your brain can shuck and jive. The computer can’t...” (45:00)
  • Unexpected street performances (slackliners, clowns) as hurdles AI can’t yet handle. (46:46)

On Fame, Security, and the Code Word "Yuckles"

• Anecdote about a wealthy celebrity using a lapel mic for security purposes:
  • “All these conversations are being listened to by someone. They’re not listening for the content... They’re listening to hear if I say ‘code word’.” (52:11)
• Reflection on hyper-litigious culture and why some celebrities avoid physical contact in photos.
  • “We’re so litigious that we’re willing to sue anybody for anything in the hopes that we’ll get a little bit of cash out of it.” (53:42)
• Tongue-in-cheek warning: “Don’t try it with The Commercial Break. We don’t have any. Ain’t gonna matter.” (54:13)

Full-Circle Callback: Back to Juan, Yard Mishaps, and Simulated Yardwork

• Bryan’s yard saga ends with him pondering mowing his own non-existent lawn, driving a John Deere over dirt for the illusion of “cutting the air.” (55:18-55:26)

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Notable Quotes & Moments (w/ Timestamps)

• [00:00] Krissy: “Love being dramatic. Because why would you ever deal with any emotion in a logical way when you could have the option of absolutely losing your mind.”
• [02:08] Bryan: “I literally, literally have a dirt hole for my yard. And he’s coming four times a week... I asked him... are you charging me every time you show up?”
• [04:59] Bryan (Vendor Impression): “Get your hot dog here. Beer. Stand close at 7th inning. Get your cocoa. Excuse me. He wants to be. They throw at you. They’re not allowed to do that anymore.”
• [12:15] Bryan: “He was throwing ‘em, throwing and throwing until one asshole got hit in the head with peanuts... She filed a lawsuit... It just takes one to ruin it for everybody.”
• [14:58] Bryan: “Even the goddamn hot dogs that have the name ‘Ballpark’ on them don’t taste like ballpark hot dogs.”
• [16:53] Bryan (On oil-fried burgers): “It was like an oil starter, and it was the most like thin, crispy patties, melted cheese, like just melty, gooey, just... American crappy cheese. Just the lovely stuff.”
• [24:16] Bryan: “I can maybe understand different beds or rooms for sickness or if someone is a disturbingly loud sleeper...”
• [33:43] Bryan: “Sleep is one of the ways we protect our brains and bodies. If I’m feeling tired, it means... advanced age... or I don’t want to be talking to you right now.”
• [38:24] Bryan: “She needs me to be walking, bouncing her and singing the song at the same time.”
• [40:01] Bryan: “It’s always some guy in a truck... watching a movie or television show while he’s driving.”
• [46:46] Bryan (On slackliners): “He’s trying to pass around a collection plate and I’m like, I didn’t ask for this. I don’t give a shit. Congratulations, dude. You do what every 14-year-old hippie at Piedmont Park does on Sundays... I don’t care.”
• [52:11] Bryan (on celebrity security): “All these conversations are being listened to by someone. They’re not listening for the content... They’re listening to hear if I say ‘code word’.”
• [54:13] Bryan: “Don’t try it with The Commercial Break. We don’t have any. Ain’t gonna matter.”

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Episode Flow at a Glance

• [00:00-04:20] Home service woes, overzealous landscaping, pool guys
• [04:21-13:30] Ballpark vendor antics, hot dog & beer nostalgia, peanut-thrower lawsuit, Braves stadium transitions
• [13:31-21:45] Ballpark food’s mystique, favorite burger joints, speculation on cooking secrets
• [21:46-38:24] Co-sleeping trends, partner sleep habits, sleep machine vs. ocean sounds, the impossibility of napping with (many) kids
• [38:25-42:00] Napping jealousy, modern relationship sleep arrangements, lullaby routines
• [42:01-54:13] Distracted driving technology, self-driving cars can’t “shuck and jive,” social media algorithms, celebrity security anecdotes, legal liabilities
• [54:14-end] Final thoughts on yardwork, semi-joking about fake mowing, show wrap-up

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Tone & Style

• Irreverent, self-aware, tangent-heavy, and rooted in quick-witted friendship.
• Conversations veer unpredictably from deep nostalgia (childhood ballgames, grandparents’ sleeping arrangements) to absurd complaint (cutting the “dirt” in the yard), all with a healthy dose of self-deprecating humor.
• Bryan and Krissy lean into their roles, with Bryan’s rants and Krissy’s playful counterpoints.

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If you haven’t listened to the episode, this summary captures the sprawling, comedic energy and heartfelt absurdity that defines The Commercial Break. The best moments often arrive unannounced, in the random overlap of real-life frustrations and improv riffing—always with one eye on the surreal.

Transcript

[Chrissy]

Love being dramatic. Because why would you ever deal with any emotion in a logical way when you could have the option of absolutely losing your mind.

[Brian Green]

On this episode of the commercial break? And he said, so what I do is, you know, all these conversations are being listened to by someone. They're not listening for the content of the conversation. They're listening to hear if I say something and if I say code word. And then if I say something or they hear that something. Skills. The next episode of the commercial break starts now. Oh, yeah. Catholic kittens. Welcome back to the commercial break. I'm Brian Green. This is the crazy Karen herself of the commercial break, Chris and Joy. Hopefully, best to you, Chris, and best to you out there in the podcast universe. I say that with all the love and affection in the world.

[Chrissy]

I'm no crazy Karen.

[Brian Green]

You are my crazy parent. You're my crazy white lady Karen right here on the show. Gonna get you to go talk to Ju and the boys, right? It's crazy. We're talking about Juan, my landscaper. Well, I've known for years.

[Chrissy]

Former landscape.

[Brian Green]

Former landscaper.

[Chrissy]

That's right.

[Brian Green]

God damn it, Juan. Bye bye. Yeah, I've told Juan for probably three of the last four years, four and a half years, we've been doing the show, please don't do the landscaping. Between a certain time and a certain time when we record, would you have kind of a set schedule around here? And I said, please help me out with this, because it gets in the background of the recording. And now we've moved studios a couple of times, and now we're really close to the yard. So anytime he starts, he spends 15 minutes right outside his window with the blower. So I said, please don't do that. It derails the show. If you could please, if you don't mind, come, you know, whenever, and yeah, yeah, boss. No problem, boss. No problem, boss.

[Chrissy]

Come whenever, come whenever. He has taken that literally.

[Brian Green]

So now it's winter. There is no grass. I never had any grass in the first place. I literally, literally have a dirt hole for my yard. And he's coming four times a week, all during the times not requested. I'm not even kidding. I asked him the other day, I go, dude, are you charging me every time you show up? And he's like, no, it's every month. And I was like, oh, great. Why? This is bad business, Juan. You got your paying your guys labor using gasoline to get over using gasoline in everything that you do. You're killing the environment. You're killing what little grass I have I know.

[Chrissy]

I got up and looked to see what they were doing out back and the one guy was just with a weed eater actually using that to cut the.

[Brian Green]

The dirt. How inefficient. Let's just weed eat my half acre lawn. That's not a lawn. To be fair to the guy, it is mostly weeds back there. So I. He's just using the appropriate tool. And I love Juan. He's been with me for like seven or eight years. But I cannot take it anymore. You got to stop. Got to stop, please.

[Chrissy]

They were just here on Saturday.

[Brian Green]

They were just here four days ago and now they're here again. That's. There's no need for this.

[Chrissy]

What are they cutting?

[Brian Green]

I know. I don't know. They're cutting the dirt. The dirt's getting out of control. They have to cut it. Those rocks, they're getting a little mangy. We gotta cut them. My pool boy does the exact opposite. You know what he does? I tell him, in the summer, come once a week. In the winter, come twice a week because no one's swimming back there. I don't care if there's a couple leaves in there. Right. He comes like once every six months and tries to charge me every month. And I'm like, no, that pool is yellow. It looks like piss. I know you haven't been here and if you have, you're bad at your job. That's like the 10th pool guy we've had. The pool guys are, I mean, not. I'm sure there are wonderful pool guys and wonderful pool cleaning companies, but I just have a shitlock with a string of them. To be fair. I didn't. You know, it takes me a minute to pay some of them. So anyway, Chrissy and I, being. Being as hep and cool as we are, decided we're going to look at the new tick tock trends.

[Chrissy]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

And what we found was a trend happening that Chrissy and I have been on to for years and years, which is what would you sound like if you were a hot dog vendor at the ballpark? Yeah.

[Chrissy]

Yeah. We were doing this two years ago.

[Brian Green]

Yes. Because I. Since we. Since we go to the Braves, I pay attention very closely to the guys who are vending. Guys and girls who are vending. Because first of all, that's a tough job walking up and down those stairs in the hot summer, fully clothed, hanging, you know, 30 pounds of hot dogs or beer hanging off you. But second of all, they all are just have these weird affectations that they use when they're trying to get your attention because I think that some of those guys and girls work on commission. Like they get a base salary.

[Chrissy]

But they've got to. They've got to how much they sell. Otherwise you would just go hang out under.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, exactly. Like, I wouldn't be that energetic about my job if I got paid no matter how many hot dogs I sold. But if I had to sell hot dogs to make money, then this is what I would sound like. Get your hot dog here. Beer. Stand close at 7 inning. Get your cocoa. Excuse me. He wants to be. They throw at you. They're not allowed to do that anymore. Then seven people have to pass it. Now I have to be the intermediary between me and the drunk asshole beside me.

[Chrissy]

Yes.

[Brian Green]

Do me a favor. I need another beer.

[Chrissy]

And then they've got a pee.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, but night goers like bar, cold beer, cotton candy, don't know me.

[Chrissy]

You would be perfect at it.

[Brian Green]

I know. I was at the World Series game here in Atlanta. My brother was at season tickets for years, and he got World Series tickets, playoffs and World Series tickets, and it was just like a dream come true for me because I almost went to the Cubs World Series when they won the World Series. But of course, I dumbassedly expected that. That. Yeah, I'll wait for the prices to go down. They did not, right? No, they went way up. So I decided so, you know, buy high. The Brian Green method to getting rich. But anyway, I. I love the Braves, too. So I was like, oh, my God, this is crazy. This is so exciting. And my brother was like, I got the tickets and everything. I swear, we're sitting right behind home plate. Right behind. I mean, right behind home plate.

[Chrissy]

Crazy.

[Brian Green]

We did, but, you know, up a level. But we were right behind home plate. Best seats in the house, as far as I'm concerned. Because you just really get the look on everything. You're not like the. If you get right behind home plate, then you can't really see the pitches that are coming. Like, you know, the umpire standing there. But if you get up a level, then it's the best seats in the house. However, it's also the worst seats in the house because those beer purveyors and hot dog purveyors, it's like that part of the ballpark, they all tend to congregate because they think that's where the rich people are. And then, second of all, it sounds like you're in like a. I don't know, it's like echoes, right? And so it'd be like, I Don't know. Let me see if I could get your beer. Oh, well done. I don't want any cotton candy. I'm 40 something years old. I got only three of my real teeth left. I don't want to make my mouth red like a small child licking a lollipop and get a sugar high that's gonna cause me to go into a diabetic coma. Hot dog cooked them three hours ago. Here they are, hot and fresh, ready for you to go purple and green with relish all over. Pass it over. Six seats. Will. No. What if I just refused? What if I was just like, no, I'm not gonna pass it over. Get your own hot dog, asshole.

[Chrissy]

Cross your arm.

[Brian Green]

I know. So here we are, World Series game. Place is electric. Everyone's just cheering for no reason whatsoever. Like, you know, I don't know, the ball boy grabs the ball. People falling off the stands and going crazy. Atlanta. Atlanta's never seen something so exciting. But I'm too preoccupied because I'm passing beers over left and right. $2, $7, $8, $9. Do me a favor, bro. Get that beer for me. The guy just hit a home run. I don't have time. I don't have time. I'm trying to watch you. My brother just paid $8,000 for these tickets. Can I not pass beer all the time? And we were, like, right in the middle of the row, so every time to be the ones passing it back and forth, and it was terrible. It was terrible. But if I was one of those beer purveyors, I would be super good at it because I would just run around hooting and hollering until someone paid attention, like, right in their ear. Get your beer.

[Chrissy]

It's kind of what this podcast is.

[Brian Green]

Yeah.

[Chrissy]

He would run, holler until someone.

[Brian Green]

Why not? Who's gonna complain? The only thing is, you can't turn off the guy at the ballpark. I wish I could. I just. I. I don't know. I. I loved it when they, you know, they had the. When I was a kid, and they had the guys come around the cotton.

[Chrissy]

Candy sticks, and sometimes they'd have no, it's so fun.

[Brian Green]

Baseball ice cream things. I don't know how they made those stay frozen for a while. I remember as a kid, you had the baseball hat, the plastic baseball hat, you know, good for our Earth, good for the environment. And they. The way they would just, like, put a couple scoops of ice cream in there, and then they would walk up and down in the ballparks and they would Sell them. And I was always so fascinated how they actually kept the ice cream cold.

[Chrissy]

Yeah, well, they had those freezer bag things they would carry on, but that it had to be heavy.

[Brian Green]

It had to be heavy. I don't envy those people whatsoever. We were telling the story many episodes ago about how there's a guy that worked at the Atlanta Fulton County Stadium, then they tore the Atlanta, Fulton County Stadium to make way for Turner Field. When the Olympics came, Turner Field was awesome. We love Turner Field.

[Chrissy]

And now they had a good times at Turner Field.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, now they have the Cobb County Braves have their field up in Cobb county, which is fine. It's fine. It's a great truest park. Yeah, truest park is lovely. It's a lovely area. It's fine. It's fine. Okay. That's all I gotta say. No, I actually do like it.

[Chrissy]

I like that stadium is really nice.

[Brian Green]

What's that?

[Chrissy]

The stadium is really nice.

[Brian Green]

It is really nice. It's smaller than Turner Field, but I think it benefits the game in that way. Like you feel like almost every seat is a good seat. I've sat sat in a couple different places and trust me, I don't sit behind home plate most ball games. I'm sitting way away from home plate. But there was a gentleman who worked at the Atlanta Fulton County Stadium, saw Hank Aaron hit that, you know, 7:55 home run. He was a staple at Turner Field, Atlanta, Fulton County Stadium. But then about seven years ago, right before Truist park opened, seven, six, seven years ago. And we knew him, Chrissy and I, not to know him like personally, but we would say hi to him because we worked for the Braves for a period of time and we would go to the games. We would go all the time to Braves games. And this guy was famous because he would throw you nuts. He would take your nuts and he would throw them. And I don't mean nuts nuts, I mean peanuts. For those of you who didn't pick up on the, on the entendre there, he would throw these nuts and he would toss them like a football, sometimes 30ft away. I mean, the guy was just good at it, right? He was throwing him, throwing and throwing him until one asshole got hit in the head with peanuts. And because she stood up, right? And I don't know the lady, I'm sure she's perfectly lovely lady, but of course she files a lawsuit and she files a lawsuit because she got hit in the head with peanuts. I don't know if anybody has ever weighed a peanut, but they don't weigh that much. They're mostly air, you know what I'm saying? Like a bag of peanuts this big, the big of the size of two fists is not going to hurt you in any meaningful way. But she fell down on the ground and made a big stink about it and sued because that was her big money payday. And then the gentleman was not allowed to throw the peanuts anymore, which caused some people in the city to go crazy. They were like, what the. This guy is an institution. He's a legend. 70. You know how I'm saying 70 years. I'm not sure it was that many, but however many years he's been doing this, and one person got hit and probably not even hurt, and they throw a lawsuit, and now you're not allowed to throw them anymore. So now all of us got to be inconvenienced all along the way because of that one. It just takes one to ruin it for everybody, you know what I'm saying? Chrissy? Takes one landscaper to ruin an episode of the commercial break, and one yahoo getting hit with some peanuts to ruin it for the rest of us. Because I loved that guy. He was awesome. I saw him at the ballpark all the time. Get your. And he was the guy who really had it. Get your peanuts here. Who wants this? I got this. You got this. He did. And then you'd be like, toss him here.

[Chrissy]

Yeah, you had to get something. It was just part of the game.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, the dude, he'd be at home plate, and he'd throw it to you in the outfield. He'd be like, you know what I'm saying? He'd be across the way. Get your peanuts. And you'd be like, I want this, me. There they come, Football field away. And they come right to you. Got it. Thanks, bud. It was like you paid the. I don't even know how he got the money. Actually, now that I'm thinking about it, now I'm thinking about it, maybe he was just losing a bunch of money for the stadium. Maybe he never collected on all those nuts. He would throw it. Maybe the lawsuit was just the executive's way of saying, all right, you've been losing thousands of dollars each game. I know they're just peanuts, but you got it. You got to get the money back. Because people would pass the money and somebody take out a dollar. They'd be like, here you go. But he didn't care because he was ready to throw the next pack of nuts. This is just the guy practicing, but he did that. And then all of a sudden it came to a screeching halt. So no one throws them anymore. But they used to throw them. And I wish, I wish it was back that way, to be honest with you. Yeah, I, I love a good hot dog at a ballpark.

[Chrissy]

Ballpark hot dog is way different than if you just make one at home.

[Brian Green]

I don't understand. I don't understand the difference. Even the fucking hot dogs that have the goddamn name Ballpark on them don't taste like ballpark hot dogs. And I don't understand. I mean, they must be some of the, like, you know, they're buying them in huge bulk. They must buy, you know, 10,000 hot dogs a week or something like that during the middle of the season. You got to IM. Sell 10,000 hot dogs at a baseball game here in, in the country.

[Chrissy]

They cook them and then it's got that perfectly toasted bun too.

[Brian Green]

Yeah.

[Chrissy]

And they're a little bit longer too, aren't they?

[Brian Green]

Yeah, they're foot longs. They're foot long hot dogs. And now they make like 18 inches or something like that. But I can't take 18 inches. I'm too old for that. You know, a bag of, of one of those individual bags of lay's potato chips sometimes make me want to take a nap, you know what I'm saying? Like, the older I get, the less food I can intake without feeling like I have to take a nap or being like, oh, babe, my stomach hurt more. You know, white boy complaining, oh, my stomach hurts. But those hot dogs are so good. Maybe it is the way that they cook them, yesterday's water kind of thing.

[Chrissy]

Maybe it is.

[Brian Green]

They just keep the water in there for the whole season.

[Chrissy]

Yeah, it seasons throughout the season.

[Brian Green]

Seasons. Yeah. Don't throw away the water, son.

[Chrissy]

Like a cast iron pan.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. Maybe they just like put it in, put that water in the freezer, freeze it and then take out the water. There is a place in Memphis where you can get burgers that are fried. And the burgers that are fried are the most delicious. Burger is the single most delicious burger I have ever had. And it is cooked in 100-year-old oil.

[Chrissy]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

So they strain the oil, they clean the oil, and they'll add oil. As it boils off a little bit, they'll add oil, but the germinating oil is always in there. It's been in the same fryer for the same amount of time. And I wish I could remember the name of the place, but it did not disappoint.

[Chrissy]

The oil starter like A sourdough starter.

[Brian Green]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like a sourdough story. It was like an oil starter. And it was the most like thin, crispy patties, melted cheese, like just melty, gooey, just, you know, American crappy cheese. Just the lovely stuff. It almost like you could eat it without putting any condiments on it. And it would be just as delicious as if you put con. And I'm a condiment guy. Like, I like to put on my burger. Burgers. But I will tell you what is a closed second. And I don't know if you've seen this. Oh, now I can't remember the name of the goddamn place. There's a burger place that has opened up here in Georgia that apparently they're butter burgers. And apparently they are very popular. This place is very popular up in Michigan and Wisconsin. And now they've come to Georgia. And Astrid and I had it three times last week. They don't have. They didn't even have one anywhere close to where we live, but they have one close to where we traveled to go see my mom, who's. Who's up north, like, you know.

[Chrissy]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

And so anyway, so on this road in the middle of almost nowhere, they have this place.

[Chrissy]

You have to tell me about it.

[Brian Green]

It is the most delicious burger that you can eat here. So here's my top three burgers ready for any of you. Those you to come to Atlanta. But I can't remember the name of the third place. You're just gonna have to trust me. I'll get the name in the second segment. Number one, the place in Memphis. So if 100 year oil. I'll find that out for you. Number two, me, Fred's Meat and Bread down at Ponce City Market. And number three, the other place I can't remember the name of. So there you go. Street Market. I'm sorry, Croc Street Market. So there you go. If you ever come to Atlanta, now you have got some clues. You've got one place, you've got some clues.

[Chrissy]

You have to figure it out.

[Brian Green]

Just go Google really good cheeseburger Brian talked about, and then it'll come up. I mean, they have AI now. Some AI knows what this is, right? Am I right? No. Yeah, that could be. Anyway, all right, let's take a break and we'll be back.

[Christina]

What? Oh, hi, it's Christina again here to remind you to go to tcbpodcast.com for all things audio, video and TC video. Give us a follow on Instagram at the commercial break and on TikTok at TCBpodcast and guess what? We have a new phone number. I know what you're thinking, but I promise this is the last TCB phone number you will ever have to remember. So call us and leave us a voicemail or text us at 212-4333, TCB. Once more for the people in the back. That's 212-4333, TCB. Oh, and check out our YouTube channel at YouTube.com thecommercialbreak. That's all for now. Let's listen to our sponsors and get back to the show.

[Brian Green]

This episode is sponsored in part by prizepix. Everybody out there in the podcast universe knows what a huge NFL fan I am and exactly how much I know about the sport. However, I'm getting into it and I'll tell you why. Prizepix Prizepix is America's number one fantasy sports app. With over 3 million members numbers, it's the easiest and most exciting way to play dfs. It's just you against the numbers. You don't have to be a professional football player or dating some famous singer to get in on the action. Prize Picks is allowing you to do it and it's that time of year again. The big game right around the corner. Prizepix is the easiest and most exciting way to turn every game changing moment into 100x your money. With as little as 4 correct picks, you can turn $10 into into $1000. I just jumped on the prize pick apps last week and I'm telling you what it's super easy to do. Prize Picks is a really simple way. I can make my picks and then submit my entry in less than 60 seconds. Now, I don't want to go into detail about who I picked because I make my choices based on a complicated spreadsheet and then I have blue bark twice at the right answer. So do us a Favor. Go to prizepix.com tcb and use the code tcb for the first deposit match of up to $100. That's prizepix.com tcf make sure you use the code tcb for the 1st deposit match of up to $100. They're giving you free money so no matter who wins or loses this big Sunday, you have an opportunity to be part of the big game in a big way and possibly win a little moolah. Who's going to argue with that? Prizepix.com TCB use the code TCB and get a first deposit match of up to $100. Thanks. Prize picks for Being a sponsor of the commercial break. All right. Culver's is the name of the burger place with the butter burgers. Okay. And Dyer's is the name of the Memphis place that you can get the fried burgers. And they are infected. Incredible.

[Chrissy]

I'm going to have to try that because I'm in Memphis quite a bit.

[Brian Green]

Speaking of astronaut, were you. Yeah, yeah. I was talking about how we went for the burgers.

[Chrissy]

Oh, that's right.

[Brian Green]

I'm just kind of loosely connected for some house which makes some sense out of this stupid podcast. Do you and Jeff sleep together in the same bed?

[Chrissy]

Yes, we do.

[Brian Green]

Have you ever slept apart for any reason that had nothing to do with sickness?

[Chrissy]

No.

[Brian Green]

No. So sickness or travel? No. You? No. Astrid and I haven't either. Except with the notable exception of. We have always slept in the same room, basically. With the notable exception of children and feeding the like the.

[Chrissy]

Right.

[Brian Green]

The first six months of their life when you're feeding them. And so Astrid, with the newest baby of the 31, we have decided to, you know, we decided it was easier for her to sleep in the bedroom so she could feed on demand and so the baby didn't have to sleep in the bed with us because we already have 31 children. Yeah. There's no more room. So the reason why I asked this is there are. There seems to be a little bit of a trend. At least people are talking about the trend. I don't know if it's actually happening. And I'd be interested to know from the audience who is married or with a longtime partner or even a short time partner, do you sleep in the same bed? Because some people, some celebrities are sharing that they don't co sleep and that they have never co slept with their partner. And some celebrities, those who can afford it, I don't know who can afford a house anymore, but some celebrities who can afford houses are actually sleeping in different houses. They sleep in different. Different houses. Really? They sleep in different houses. Was this Gwyneth Paltrow who said this? I feel like it was Gwyneth Paltrow who said this about her and Chris Mark. I don't know. I could be totally wrong. So don't take anything I say seriously. But someone shared that they slept in different houses. They had two different houses.

[Chrissy]

Taking it far.

[Brian Green]

That. Yeah, that's taking it further.

[Chrissy]

I can't even house with you.

[Brian Green]

You took it further. My friend who went to Further Fest fell asleep for the. On the lawn. I had to go find him and he goes, I took it Further. You did dig it further, bro. Yeah. I find this to be. I read a weird trend.

[Chrissy]

I did read something about that and it did make me think, like growing up, I remember I would visit my grandparents and they didn't sleep in the same room. But I think it's because of different sleep habits different people have, you know, or if somebody snores really loud or one person's a hot sleeper, one person's a cold sleeper. But that different houses is.

[Brian Green]

Is way out of understand. Yeah, you might as well not be married.

[Chrissy]

But I can understand different beds or even maybe different rooms.

[Brian Green]

I can maybe understand different beds or rooms for sickness if someone is like a disturbingly loud sleeper, like, I can't sleep. Or as one of those CPAP machines that make a lot of noise, but I don't mind a lot of noise. Like I turn on multiple fans. I can't. I don't understand how Astro can sleep in the same room with me, to be honest with you. I've got like a humid fire, a noise maker, a fan, a filter. Like I've got all these things going and if they're not all on, I don't feel comfortable going to sleep. It's like you and I were talking about this. When I go to the ocean and I get an ocean side condo or hotel or whatever, I cannot go to sleep unless the doors or the windows are open. Astrid hates it. She doesn't like sleeping with windows open. It's just like a security thing for her. Like a subconscious security thing. But I. That's why I always sleep near the door or window near the beach. Because I sleep like a. Oh, child.

[Chrissy]

Jamaica. Yeah, that's all I could hear was the beach.

[Brian Green]

Yes.

[Chrissy]

Or the ocean. I'm sorry. Outside the. The windows and. Oh. Slept so good.

[Brian Green]

So good.

[Chrissy]

I was like, we don't even need a sound machine. No live sound machine.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. And the sound machines, they do have the wave sound, but they're not the same. It's not the same.

[Chrissy]

There's. Well, there's an a knowing. First of all, there's the sea air that you can smell. And then also too, you just know.

[Brian Green]

Yeah.

[Chrissy]

Your psyche just knows while you're sleeping that it's right there.

[Brian Green]

Do you know where I slept? The best ever. And we in, in this particular situation, we did not co. Sleep. It's when we went on the cruise and they had like a king sized bed and then they had bunk beds that pulled down out of the wall.

[Chrissy]

Oh, yeah, you talked about that.

[Brian Green]

And the bunk beds were right Next to the balcony. And so I would open the door at night, and there was something so comforting and amazing about the. The little rock you feel in the boat. Because, you know, these cruise ships now, they're made not to rock too much. They have, like, these actuators down at the bottom that right. Offset the waves. So you. But you're rocking a little bit. You get that sensation of motion. And then you have the ocean and the waves lapping up against the boat as you're moving. But then also just. I don't know, something about, like, knowing that there are other boats. Like, a lot of times you could see other boats off in the distance. Like, there are lights and stuff. Something about that just made me feel like a little baby. Like I had my binky with me. You know what I'm saying? I did. I felt like I had my binky and I curled up and watched my bad British television shows, and I was like, oh, I feel so, so good. Of course, that one cruise, all I could hear was the other two people next door talking about how they were cheating on their husbands and wives. But, you know, that's not here nor there. But I sleep so well. That's the only way I would permanently co. Sleep is if I. We had an oceanside villa or house or something like that. And Astor didn't want to sleep with the window open. I would totally go in my room. I totally ruined my marriage just to sleep near the ocean waves. But I don't understand. And my grandparents, too. My grandparents on my dad's side. I always recall. I recall that when I was young and we would spend the night there, when my grandfather was alive, they had two separate single beds in the room and then a TV on a nightstand in the middle. And they always slept that way until the day that he died. My grandparents on my mother's side had separate beds until about. I would say until I was like 10 or 12 years old. And then they got a queen size bed and ended up sleeping together. So I know that, like, but I think that had to do more with, like, traditional roles and households and, like, religious reasons and.

[Chrissy]

Yeah, I was gonna say stodgy purity. I was gonna say they. They didn't even show people on TV in the same bed.

[Brian Green]

No.

[Chrissy]

For a long time.

[Brian Green]

No, not at all. Like, they were totally in. In separate beds at the very least. And I don't. I. I've read articles where people say it has saved my marriage. Not co. Sleeping. Saved my marriage because my husband snored. My husband was turning, tossing and turning and it made.

[Chrissy]

Really uncomfortable.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, it was too hot. My. My husband would end up. Or wife would end up rolling next to me and he was too hot or I was too hot or whatever it was. So I guess in that sense, like, you can't ruin your health just to sleep next to your partner. Like, if you really love each other and it's best for somebody's health, mental or physical, that you go and sleep in another room that I could get. And trust me, Astrid's gonna get there. She is going to get there. Right now. We have a lot of children in the room, so it's. And I see. I see how Astrid cuddles up to those children. Not quite the same way she cuddles up to me. Like, she'll wrap my daughter up like this and be holding her all night long. I get in the bed and Sheila and I put like, a hand on Astrid's.

[Chrissy]

She's watch Watson away.

[Brian Green]

But. Yeah. And. And then, like, you know, sometime five minutes later, she'll just, like, kind of roll even further away. And I'm like, well, I guess. I guess I'm not in. In Vogue anymore. No, I'm kidding, of course. I'm just making a joke. But I know a partner. Once I have this signature move, like, I cannot cuddle with someone all night long that I cannot do. It's too much.

[Chrissy]

It is.

[Brian Green]

Even. It's uncomfortable attempting to. You know, you get the one shoulder and it starts to hurt, or, you know, you don't know what to do with the other arm. It just sits there and it falls asleep. Or it's painful to wrap your arm around them. Or you. You know, there's a. I like to kick my leg up on something, like a pillow. You know, just put a pillow in between my knees and end up kicking it up on my partner. You know, I'm just a big oaf who, like, kind of like. And so I unders. It's just uncomfortable for me. And I know it's uncomfortable for my wife and my other partners. So a little cuddling at the beginning of the night.

[Chrissy]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

And then, you know, you kind of.

[Chrissy]

Go your own separate ways.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, exactly. We each turn over and send each other Instagram reels while we're in the bed. So true. So true. We'll be in the same room, just sending Instagram reels back and forth to each other.

[Chrissy]

I'm a really hard sleeper.

[Brian Green]

Hard sleep. I am.

[Chrissy]

I can sleep through anything. Jeff, the other morning, he was like, I cannot believe that you didn't Wake up. There was like huge forklift outside the house, like, gathering trees, doing all this stuff.

[Brian Green]

It's like, no, didn't hear thing. Yeah, I am a very, very light sleeper, but I have tuned the baby crying out in my mind. Not on purpose, I swear to God, not on purpose. But I'll wake up sometimes and Asher's like, I was up from 1:30 to 5 in the morning with a bit. And I'll be like, you were? Why didn't you call me? And she's like, or why don't you get me up? And she's like, I didn't want to bother you. Or sometimes she'll be like, I tried to. I was like. And I didn't wake up because blue farts. And I'm up, ready to, you know, go to war. I'm like, ah, who is it?

[Chrissy]

You've turned all things children off.

[Brian Green]

Well, that's true. It also might be so noisy in the room that I just can't hear anything outside the room. That's for sure. But then I feel so bad. I'm like, God damn, I feel like a bad father and a bad husband. I feel refreshed. I don't feel bad, but, man, did I get a good night's sleep. Wow. How do I feel good this morning?

[Chrissy]

Well, sometimes, too, if you really love the other person, you don't want to see. Like, sometimes I really like. When we were in Jamaica, Jeff napped. We were napping quite a bit, and he was napping. He was just asleep so peacefully. And, you know, I wanted him to have that.

[Brian Green]

If you love them, let them sleep. If you love them, let them sleep. If you love me, me, let me sleep, for God's sakes. Honestly, it drives me crazy when people are waking you up for no reason whatsoever. Now, luckily, that doesn't happen a lot in this particular household, but one of the. You. You know, I don't. I'm just. Whenever I say, you know, he knows who I'm talking about. One of two people who are just bad, bad situation anyway, and your past. This girl that I dated, she would wake me up for no reason. It'd be like, I don't know, I'd go to take a nap at noon, It'd be like 12:02. And she'd be like, hey, hey.

[Chrissy]

Oh, God.

[Brian Green]

Hey. And I'd be like, what? What's going on? Why aren't you talking to me? What? Oh, I'm sleeping. I'm sleeping.

[Chrissy]

What's wrong?

[Brian Green]

We need more salsa. We're out of salsa.

[Chrissy]

Oh, yeah.

[Brian Green]

Or it'd be like a Saturday afternoon, you know, Saturday golf afternoon, and I fall asleep on the couch. Hey. Hey. We need to go do something. Why? Well, because we need to go do something. It's Saturday. We need to go do something. What do you want to do? What do you want to do? What do I want to do? What I want to do? I'm sleeping. That's what I want to do. I want to take a nap. And. And I wasn't as old as I was, but now I. I was like, you know, again. Can I just take a little. A little bit of a nap? Fine. I'm leaving. Why are you leaving? You can't let. You can't sit here while I sleep or go do something. You know, some people have to feel.

[Chrissy]

Like they're doing something all the time, too. And I'm not one of those people.

[Brian Green]

Not at all. No, please. The less I do, the better I feel.

[Chrissy]

Good.

[Brian Green]

Y. Yeah. Yeah. So in that situation, I could also see, like, co. Sleeping. If you have one of those. I want to talk to all the people out there who feel like they need to wake somebody up just because that person's not up. And you are like, you're mad that they're sleeping and you're not, or you're angry because you want to do something and they don't, or they're sleeping. If you love them, let them sleep. If you love me, let me sleep. Because sleep is one of the ways that we protect our brains and our bodies. And if I'm feeling tired, it means one of two things. It's because of my advanced age or. Or I don't want to be talking to you right now. Could you let me sleep? Could you let me sleep?

[Chrissy]

If you love them, let them sleep.

[Brian Green]

If you love them, let them sleep. I call people all the time, and I'm like, hey, what'd you do? Oh, I was. It was such a busy weekend. We went to a party on Friday night, and Saturday we got up at 11 and we went to brunch with. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. We had a few mimosas. After that, I went home and I took a nap. I was just so tired. So many things going. And I want to say to you, you. You. You. You want to know what a couple things going on means for me? That means there's a couple things going on every minute of every day. I have 31 children. They never stop asking. They never go to sleep at the same time. They never stop being sick, and they never stop wanting Something. I wish I could nap. I wish I had your luck. So I'll tell you what. Trade places with me for five minutes and let me take a nap. A nap. I get so incensed when I call people and they're like, what? And I'm like, what are you doing? I just got up from a nap. So tired. It's been such a long week. Now I realize everything is relative. You know, when you don't have children, you know, extra meetings in the week could mean you had a busy week and you're tired, you're not used to it. But I just, like, I get so incensed when someone says, I had a nap because I am so jealous that I can't have a nap.

[Chrissy]

Yeah, I wish I could imagine I used to nap. I have regret to inform you. I know my. My weekends.

[Brian Green]

I know. That's why I don't even call you.

[Chrissy]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

I don't even bother with the weekends with you. I don't want to hear it. I don't want to hear it. I don't even call Raphael anymore because he's got kids, but they're out of the house. They're old enough to take care of themselves. And so half the time he's napping too.

[Christina]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

I'm like, that's. That's awesome. I wish I could. You. You. Hell you. I called my brothers. What are you doing? I just got up from a nap. You got up from a nap? What are you three? Gaga Goo goo Pee pee poo poo. Get up. Come on, baby. Come over and babysit half of my children.

[Chrissy]

Naps are important.

[Brian Green]

I know.

[Chrissy]

I mean, it sounds like you had your time with your naps.

[Brian Green]

Oh, I did a lot of napping. Oh, did we do a lot of napping. Astrid and I often lament the times before children when we also felt like we were very busy. But we would manage to get a two hour nap in every fucking day. Day, every day. Even when we had just the first child that he would go down for a nap. And so would we. Yeah. We'd be like, okay, he's got. He's gonna be down for an hour and a half. Quick fall asleep. But we. And we felt like at that time that we were busy. We were like, man, this is like, we can't take nas when we want to. We have to wait till the kid falls asleep to take a nap. And now there is no nap. Because no child. No two children. Even out of the 50 that we have, no two children take a nap at the same time. They're all different times, times. So what I find myself doing a.

[Chrissy]

Lot is coming to the studio and sleeping.

[Brian Green]

I wish I could do that, too, but I got blue gonna open the door with paws.

[Chrissy]

I see a pillow that's.

[Brian Green]

That's for my back. That's for my back.

[Chrissy]

Huge.

[Brian Green]

I know. It's a yoga pillow. I think I did ayahuasca on that pillow. Actually, I think I did. I think that's the pillow that I brought on.

[Chrissy]

Looks like a good ayahuasca filler.

[Brian Green]

It's a great ayahuasca filler. Luckily, I didn't throw up directly on it.

[Chrissy]

Yeah, good.

[Brian Green]

So here's what I find myself My days are filled with. I am either working, feeding one of the 50 things that needs feeding around here or in constant states of putting them to sleep. Like, I'm literally moving from one child, and one of my kids needs a song sung all the time before they go to sleep, and I'm the only one that can do it. She will scream her full head off for 30 minutes if Astor tries to put her to sleep. The second I walk in the room and grab her, she's like. And she makes these little noises. She doesn't talk yet. She goes like that. But then if I don't sing the song, this is what she did. She does. She looks at me and she goes, da, da, da.

[Chrissy]

What song do you sing?

[Brian Green]

Let's go fly a kite up to the highest height. But I get lazy, and I don't want to sing the words sometimes. So I'm like. So she mimics it. So here's the thing. She needs. She needs me to be walking, bouncing her and singing the song at the same time. She's now got her fans and machine noise machines and all this before she falls asleep. And I'm the only one that can do it correctly. So I now have the curse that I asked for for so long.

[Chrissy]

Yes.

[Brian Green]

I'm like, oh, I just want these kids to love me. I just want them to need me and love me, and I just want to be a great daddy. And guess what? I got it in spades from this one child who now cannot go to sleep unless I am holding her, walking her, bouncing her, and singing her the song at the same time. The good news is we don't co sleep with this one. And that's the way it's going to remain forever. I'm not gonna do it. Not gonna do it.

[Chrissy]

That's good.

[Brian Green]

Thanks, Chrissy. Thanks for your moral support. You're lucky you got children when they were 15. You lucked out, I think. All right, we'll be back.

[Christina]

Well, thank the baby Jesus. Brian took a breath. And now I will use this opportunity to let you know that we've got a brand new phone number. That's right. It's two weeks and you can text us anytime you want or you can call and leave us a voicemail and we might just use your message on the show once Brian gets through all the messages he missed last year. Of course. Anyway, you can also find and DM us on Instagram at the commercial break and on TikTok CB podcast. And of course, all of our audio and video is easily found on tcbpodcast.com now I'm going to thank G one more time that we have sponsors, others. So thank G. And here they are.

[Brian Green]

You know, sometimes I watch these. You know, I'll be sitting at the traffic light or something and I'll see some guy in a truck. It's always a guy in a truck. A guy in a truck has his. You know, they have those phone holders that stick to the window. I have one. You know, you put your phone.

[Chrissy]

Yes.

[Brian Green]

You hang it right. Kind of in your field of view. How incredibly dangerous that is. But, you know, you put it right in your field of view and then you can see your maps or the text messages come up. We have CarPlay on it or whatever and it plays that stupid fucking Apple song that you never wanted to play again. But you know, you know, you get it. But it's always some guy in a truck that is watching a movie or television show while he's driving. Do you see this? I see this.

[Chrissy]

I haven't seen that. I've thought about doing it before, but I thought it was just too dangerous.

[Brian Green]

I. I am guilty of this. On road trips, I will sometimes turn on TV and listen to it. It. But I do my best not to pay attention to it. I'll like put it in the cup holder upside down, you know, like a sporting event or something like that.

[Chrissy]

Sure.

[Brian Green]

But. Because I know I. I just inherently understand that I am a real nudnik and all it's going to take is one second of looking away for something really bad to happen. Then I have children and then, and then I'm just going to be an for the rest of my life if something happens. But I have been seeing an ad for something and this is not an advertisement, by the way. These people do not sponsor us. I'm not even sure I would sponsor this, but I have been seeing this ad Popping up over and over and over again on my Instagram link for something called Magic Link. Have you heard of this?

[Chrissy]

No.

[Brian Green]

Okay. Magic Link is a device that you can plug into your car. And if you have a screen on your car, it will screen share whatever it is you're watching. So it screen shares your entire phone. So if you turn on whatever the DirecTV app, Netflix, whatever it is, it will screen share that to the screen on your car are. Because all the screens now are just LCD TVs. That's all they are. And they'll just have a certain program in there that doesn't allow you to watch streaming. You can't download an app. But now this app usurps that technology, that software, and it puts its own software in there. I assume this is what it does, and then it shows you whatever is on your phone how incredibly dangerous. I know this is. That is insane to me. Like, I'm guilty of putting the TV on while I'm driving or, or listening to a YouTube, you know, video or whatever, but I don't think I would ever, like, actively watch TV while I was driving down the road.

[Chrissy]

Yeah, that's too dangerous.

[Brian Green]

It's a huge temptation.

[Chrissy]

I can't. Yeah, I can't turn on something that I need to see, which is a lot of things.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, I mean, once you. Once you start feeling comfortable that you can do this, like you get a few drives in you where you're like watching TV and driving at the same time, you're going to become way too comfortable with it whatsoever. It's just like drunk driving, driving. Like, I hate to say this, and it. I do not condone it. It is terrible, awful. And there's no excuse for it, especially not in 2024. But there have been times in my life when I have gotten in the car, buzzed and driven home. Right. I think anybody who's done a little bit of drinking is probably guilty of this at some point or another. And. But you get too comfortable and then you can really end up in a lot of trouble. So I can see this. So I am driving down the road a couple of days ago and I've got, you know, a shitty SUV that sits up a little bit higher and I look down into the car that's sitting next to me at the stoplight, and they are watching the office on the screen on their television. So I thought, oh, my gosh, they must have this thing that I've been seeing all Magic Link. The dude was paying no attention, that he was in a turning lane 50 cars had gone like literally. The arrow had been green for seven minutes. And the guy was just sitting there, people behind him honking. He is still watching the show as if he's waiting for the scene to be over before he moves. And I thought to myself, holy. As if the roads are not dangerous enough. Yeah, now we've got to compete with television and people watching television while they're driving. This seems insane to me and I don't know how this product is even legal, actually. I, I, maybe it's not. I don't know.

[Chrissy]

It might not be.

[Brian Green]

I got busted for even having a phone in my hand. Remember I got pulled over.

[Chrissy]

You did.

[Brian Green]

Whoop. Yeah.

[Chrissy]

And all the kiss hur.

[Brian Green]

The kids busted me. Yeah, they busted me. He was like, were you holding your phone, sir? I actually said yes. I said yes. And he was like, you know, are you, you know, are you using your phone while you're driving? And I said, no, I actually wasn't. I just looked at a text message and then one of my kids goes, no you didn't. You were texting grandpa. And I was like, he's a little liar. He's a, he's been in a lot of trouble. Thanks kid, I appreciate it. I mean, if you get busted with the magic link, how does that, how does that work? That's got to be like a 500 ticket, right? I would imagine that's worse than drunk driving. Yeah, worse than drunk driving. It's got to be worse than drunk driving. How can you be allowed to watch the Strat totally distracted and you know, the self driving cars are just an illusion. They don't actually self drive. They're really bad at it apparently, because you know, people are being.

[Chrissy]

Did you see that apple just pulled out of their whole self driving car thing?

[Brian Green]

Well, because people are destroying them. In San Francisco, you know, there's people that are attacking these self driving cars because they are dangerous on the road. Apparently. He we talked about this, but I'm just going to share it again for those of you that didn't hear. I think self driving will always be a bit of a myth. And here, let me explain why. Maybe not on a long road trip where all the car has to do is just gauge the car in front of it and the lines between it and when someone is changing lanes. But in the city or any kind of urban traffic, it will never be able to to make computations like our brain does. Here's the difference between a self driving car that takes a bunch of data and makes a decision based on that data, our brains have the ability to recall and understand situations. We can kind of see corners a little bit. But a computer can't do that. It can't do that now and it may never be able to do that. Maybe it will with AI, I'm not sure, but I don't think so. Because if you go to a stop sign and it's a four way stop sign and there's two people that are crossing the street, there's that one guy over there on a bike that's heading your direction, but he's up. The car is obfuscated, most of his body. You can look quickly and your brain can compute that. I shouldn't go right now because that guy's going to quickly pull out in front of, right out in front of that car and I might hit him. If I go. The computer may not pick that up. May not understand that, may not know that. Plus people change directions. They move, they shuck, they jive, they do these kind of things. Your brain can shuck and job. They shuck and jot and John, you know, you got these idiots who are doing entire, you know, clown shows in front of you at the stoplight, hoping you're gonna get a few bucks. Yuckel's, the clown show, they put up those, what are those wires that guys stand on and bounce around. You know what I'm talking about? The slack lines. Yeah, the slack lines. I was, I forget where I was. I think it was, was it in Spain? It was somewhere. We're at this busy intersection in Barcelona or whatever and some dude runs a slack line across while the lights on and he's like bouncing on the slack line. Flip it and bounce it and shook it and drive it. And he's trying to pass around a collection plate and I'm like, I didn't ask for this. I don't give a shit. Congratulations, dude. You do what every 14 year old hippie at Piedmont park does on Sundays. What do you want, a medal? A prize for bouncing on a piece of cardboard? I don't care. No. Now if you had done something spectacular, maybe, but you know, getting up there and doing a couple bounces doesn't. Shucking and jive, it doesn't make me. But a self driving car could never understand that. How could it ever understand that? That the guy, you know, you just might start plowing through the slack line guy.

[Chrissy]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

And I don't.

[Chrissy]

They're definitely, I don't think ready right now, but people are still working on them.

[Brian Green]

So, you know, the point is it's like, like driving takes. Driving does take quite a bit of concentration and as you do more of it, you understand more potentialities and, and different scenarios that could come into play. And so, you know, I, I think even with self driving cars I don't. And I know, I hate to be a killjoy about this because, you know, I love my TV guys. I can watch my TLC all day long, right? My TLC, my little love is blind, my YouTube videos, I can watch those all day long. If the car, if I thought the car could actually drive itself through situations, that would be the only way that I would see that it would be okay or even semi permissible to be watching tv. But it's, but it's too distracting. How is this legal? How are these people, how are these people actually allowed to advertise? This thing is my thing. I saw it and I was shocked. Shocked.

[Chrissy]

Yeah, well, it's there.

[Brian Green]

Oh, it's there. They're probably selling like hotcakes. Apparently I saw one yesterday. Apparently two days ago. The guy was out there. You know, this is.

[Chrissy]

Plus I think Instagram might be a little loosey goosey with who they let advertise. So.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, they let us advertise, so, you know, they let us advertise. Couldn't be that strict, couldn't be that stringent. They don't give a. Mark Zuckerberg doesn't give a. Mark Zuckerberg probably has 12 self driving cars. You know what they're called? They're called chauffeurs. That's right.

[Chrissy]

Drivers.

[Brian Green]

You think Mark uses a show for. I'm sure he does, yeah. Do you think he's got security around him 24 hours a day?

[Chrissy]

Yes.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. But apparently Bezos does not. Did you see Bezos? He was like at some like buff. Oh, dude, he's huge. Look at him. He's got that young girlfriend. He's all.

[Chrissy]

He's been a few GNCs.

[Brian Green]

Oh, he's. I think he owns a few GNCs. I think he owns all the GNCs. I think Amazon became the GNC. I don't see too many of them anymore. Yeah, he. Dude. Yeah, he moved to Miami because he wants the tax benefits. Are you kidding me? That guy doesn't. He's a personal income. That guy must have on a yearly basis. Yeah, he is so buff. And the other day I was looking at a news article and I mean, I think part of this feel, it feels a little shitty and voyeuristic and part of it is just like amazing to Me, Jeff is out with his beautiful young girlfriend with his other couple. They're out at one of those shopping mall. Oh, yeah, shopping. Like, you know, food court, Chinese buffet places. Getting Chinese food in a strip mall down in Florida, I think is where it was. And it's like, holy shit.

[Chrissy]

They're just like us.

[Brian Green]

The richest man in the world. One of the richest men in the world. Yeah, they're just like us. That's right.

[Chrissy]

I guarantee you he did have security. It was just where you couldn't see. It was lurking around.

[Brian Green]

Well, that was, like. When I saw. I don't even know if I should say the name, but I saw. I met a celebrity. I was close to them. I was having dinner with them. A very, very rich, rich man. A very rich man. A very nice guy. Very rich man. And he walked into the room, and when he walked into the room, he had a lapel microphone on, and. But there was no cameras around. Like, we were having dinner. It wasn't like, you know. And we were in a private room, by the way. So he came in through the back door. There was no visible security anywhere. I didn't notice any extra people. Everyone there, I. I knew who they were. I knew they should be there because of the event that we were at. But when I saw that lapel microphone, I asked him, I said, what's up with the lapel mic? Are you, like, videotaping something? Are you, like, you know, recording this? Am I on Candid Camera? Are you about to give me a million dollars and tell me to go pay it forward? Because, boy, will I. I'll pay with forward to Georgia power, to American Express, to my Visa. I'm gonna pay it forward to my gas company. How do you feel about that? He. He told me. I said, what's up with the microphone? Am I being recorded? We recording something? He said, no, you know what? It's security. He goes, I don't like having all that security up on me. I think it makes me unapproachable, and I'm really not like that. And he's like. And I also think, you know, that. That security sometimes gives me and others the impression that, you know, they shouldn't be having a conversation with me. He goes, I just think it's, like, kind of a scary thing, so. For everybody involved. So he said, but I. I sometimes I do need it. He's like, you know, obviously, I sometimes I do need it. And I was like, yeah, no, I totally understand. And he said, so what I do is, you know, all these conversations are being listened to by someone. I'm not listening for the content of the conversation. They're listening to hear if I say something and if I say code word. And then if I say something or they hear that something. Self driving sack line. Self driving sack line. He was like, you know, get your hot dog here. Get in there, get in there. They know, they understand that something's gone wrong. Yeah, he goes, yeah, he goes, so not necessarily listening to the content of the conversation. He goes, but it's also for posterity's sake in case anybody ever accuses me of something, doing something wrong, inappropriate. Smart, right? And what I've noticed also is that a lot of celebrities now, they will not take pictures where they have their arms around people. And this one celebrity, and I can't remember who it was, but the one celebrity, when asked why he stands still with his hands like this when he takes pictures of people, he says, because my arm around somebody is reserved for my wife. And I want, I think, was it Messi or Ronaldo, one of the soccer players? And he said, this is reserved for my wife and my children. They are the ones that deserve this kind of physical affection. And I want them to always know they're at the top. Like, they're at the top and they're the ones that get that. And I thought it was the sweetest thing in the world. And I won't do that. I'm just gonna manhandle whoever I could. Hey, Jimmy Big balls, come here. I'm gonna manhandle you. I thought that was very sweet.

[Chrissy]

Yeah. And in today's time, you never know what could be perceived as inappropriate, though.

[Brian Green]

Well, probably in any time. You never at any time, you know.

[Chrissy]

It'S a heightened awareness.

[Brian Green]

It's a heightened awareness because any. The littlest thing. And we're so litigious in this society, which is just ridiculous. We shouldn't be this way. But we're so litigious that we. That we. I'm going to say we because who knows, maybe I could also do this because the commercial break doesn't make any money, but we're so litigious that we're willing to sue anybody for anything in the hopes that we'll get a little bit of cash out of it. And, you know, the, the almighty dollar. We see somebody has more than us and, you know, we see an opportunity to maybe take advantage of that. Then. Then we'll do it. But I gotta tell you right now, guys, don't try it with the commercial break. We don't have Any ain't gonna matter. Guys ain't gonna matter. Yeah, you say whatever you want.

[Chrissy]

Blood from us. What's that about blood from a stone?

[Brian Green]

Blood from a stone. You can't bleed a rock.

[Chrissy]

There's not any.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, you can't bleed a rock. No cerebral.

[Chrissy]

Not even the rock out in your yard?

[Brian Green]

No. But you can cut them if you need to cut them. Just run your lawnmower over. Yeah, you know, I used to. My dad taught me how to cut grass and for years I. All I heard was, don't run over the rocks. You shoot them out sideways, you cut the blade up. But these guys apparently want to do that. I don't know. I don't know. I love Juan. I don't want to let him go. But at the same time, it's like, how many times can you say the same thing over and over again?

[Chrissy]

Just, we've got a tall.

[Brian Green]

Maybe I should just not be an and mow my own lawn because then I'd be assured it only got done once a month.

[Chrissy]

Yeah, yeah, you would.

[Brian Green]

I don't have any time. That's the truth. Like, I can't leave these children for five minutes. It's here or it's outside taking care of the kids. And that's the way I want.

[Chrissy]

You can get your son up there on the riding mower with you.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, I think you need grass to actually ride them over.

[Chrissy]

Or just a weed eater.

[Brian Green]

I know. Where would I put that thing? It's my new second car is a John Deere 2000, 2001 John Deere riding lawnmower with no blade. Because I don't have any grass. I don't need the blade. I'm just going to. I'm just going to pretend people are going to be seeing me. They're going to be like, hey, good morning. And I'll be like, good morning. Cutting the air. Just cutting the air with my son. Hey, son, put your foot down there. Let's see if there's a blade. I was always afraid I was gonna get a toe chopped off when I was cutting my lawn. Anyway. All right. TCBpodcast.com that's where you go. Find out more information about the show. All the audio, all the video right there from one location. You can also get your piggy front and sticker. Hit the contact us button. Drop down menu. I want my free sticker. Give us your address. We'll send it off in 5 to 10 days. 212-4333. TCB. 2124333. TCB comments, questions, concerns, content, ideas, we take them all. Ask Brian's mom. Ask dcb. You know how to do it. Send us a text message or leave us a voicemail. If you leave a voicemail, your voice may be used. Add the commercial break on Instagram, TCB, podcast on tick tock and YouTube.com the commercial break. And if you could speak any faster, leave me a message. I want to hear it. All right. Okay, Chrissy, I guess that's all we can do today. But, but I will tell you that.

[Chrissy]

I love, I love you.

[Brian Green]

I'll say best to you and best to you out there in the podcast universe. Thanks for suffering through another hour of the commercial break. Until next time. Chrissy and I always say, we do say and we must say good. Goodbye, Sam.