Crinkle Cut Sack!

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Commercial Break – "Crinkle Cut Sack!"

Hosted by: Bryan Green & Krissy Hoadley
Release Date: May 7, 2026

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Overview

This episode of The Commercial Break opens with Bryan and Krissy in peak chaotic, comedic form, musing about bizarre bathroom encounters, music festival misadventures, and the state of air travel—especially sharing plenty of Spirit Airlines horror stories. They move through rambling memories, audience banter, big city celebrity sightings, and heartfelt reflections about their friendship and the nature of long-term bonds. With wild metaphor, irreverent honesty, and self-aware asides, this episode exemplifies the podcast's improvisational, "Cheesecake Factory of comedy podcasts" reputation.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Strange Public Encounters & "Crinkle Cut" Comedy

• Opening Riff [00:08–00:44]
  Bryan launches the episode recalling a truly "disturbing" airport bathroom experience, involving a man urinating in an unconventional way, leading to some extremely "crinkle cut testicle" imagery.
  • Bryan: “Looked like waffle fries being blown up like a balloon. It was disgusting. It was unnecessary. It was really something that actually disturbed.” [00:12]
  • Krissy: “Was he tasting with them?” [00:43]
  • Sets the absurd tone for the episode.

2. Show Updates & Technical Tangents

• Podcast Schedule Talk [01:00–02:20]
  Bryan and Krissy address fans’ frustrations about recent "Best Of" re-runs, reassuring listeners the show isn’t ending and promising a slightly more regular recording schedule—while admitting their streaming setup is chaotic at best.

3. Concert Memories: Dave Matthews Band & Port-a-Potty Trauma

• Festival Recaps [02:35–09:27]
  Krissy recounts a recent trip to Memphis for the Riverbeat Festival and Bryan goes deep on an epic Dave Matthews Band/Allman Brothers free concert in Atlanta, reliving classic festival mayhem:
  • Impossible beer lines
  • Young women fleeing to "reed fields" due to port-a-potty shortages
  • Bryan advising his group to leave early to avoid post-concert chaos:
    • Bryan: “My little brother stayed, and I think it took him two days to get home. Unbelievable.” [07:47]
  • Krissy notes her festival was much tamer: “Maybe 8,000 people. Eight to ten, I think. That's not bad at all.” [07:58]
  • Bryan discusses the reunion vibe of legacy bands:
    • “If I’m Dave Matthews, more specifically, [...] that’s what I’m doing for the rest of my life.” [08:41]

4. Spirit Airlines Debacle: Costa Rica Edition

• Airing Grievances [13:07–22:14]
  With Spirit Airlines’ shutdown in the news, Bryan recounts being stranded for three days in San Jose, Costa Rica due to their mismanagement:
  • Being left in a grim hotel with little communication
  • Taking a sketchy bus with a crack-smoking passenger and live chickens
  • Eventually saved by Delta’s kindness
  • Bryan: “Take your wrinkly, crinkly, short testicles and fuck you, [Spirit].” [20:49]
  • On Delta: “I want my pilot with a little gray in his mustache. [...] If something goes wrong he likely understands what it is and he has experience to remedy the situation. And if he doesn’t, well, then we’re all going to die anyway.” [21:46]

5. Theme Park Bathroom Faux-Pas & Disney Insights

• Safari Stories [23:28–28:49]
  The hosts riff on a news story: a dad jumping off a Disney safari vehicle to pee with his kids in tow.
  • Bryan reminds listeners that Disney has policies for bathroom breaks (you can get a card and return to your place in line):
    • “You know, I want to give you a little hint... there's a rule that you can talk to a cast member and get out of line and they give you a card [...] so you don’t have to worry about losing your place if you have to pee.” [26:51]
  • They circle back to weird “side of the shorts” urination techniques, echoing themes from the cold open.
  • Riff on the perils of being banned for life from Disney.

6. Spirit Airlines’ Crowdfunding & Mark Cuban Rejection

• Aviation Oddities [29:21–34:45]
  Bryan shares stories of random internet efforts to "crowdfund" the purchase of Spirit Airlines after bankruptcy—bankers and hedge funds actually call the guy, but Bryan’s skeptical.
  • Attempts to pitch Mark Cuban in the past have ended in...
    • Bryan: “He doesn’t drag me along, he’s just like: dumb idea.” [32:19]
  • Fireside, Clubhouse, and the ill-fated podcast tech boom are also discussed.
    • Krissy, on Clubhouse’s demise: “I don’t think so.” [35:15]

7. Clubhouse Nostalgia

• App Graveyard [35:15–37:43]
  • Bryan reminisces about his obsessive phase with Clubhouse, and together they joke about the bizarre, dwindling conversations still happening there:
    • “I heard two N words and an update on the Iran war, which has something to do with bras. I don’t know.” [36:46]

8. The Birth & Nature of TCB

• Origins & Friendship [39:22–44:48]
  • Credit is given to podcaster Alison Hare, whose podcasting cohort inspired Bryan to launch The Commercial Break—with Chrissy as his reluctant co-host.
    • Bryan: “I think the commercial break actually owes Alison Hare quite a debt because I’m not sure we’d be The Commercial Break if Alison hadn’t encouraged me.” [40:06]
  • The heart of the episode:
    • Krissy: “I don’t know without the podcast that you and I would have stayed as close.” [44:13]
    • Bryan: “At the end of the day, that’s what I’ve taken to calling it, because I don’t know how else to describe it. [...] It is a podcast about friendship.” [42:42]

9. Celebrity Sightings in NYC

• Alec Baldwin & Drew Barrymore [45:41–50:31]
  • Bryan describes running into Alec Baldwin (“He looks so much older in person than on Instagram” [47:54]) and Drew Barrymore in SoHo, with the expected awkwardness of recognizing celebrities and not knowing what to say.

10. NYC Prices & Bourdain Biopic

• Big City Sticker Shock [51:27–54:29]
  • Riffing on the expense of New York food—$200 for three at a modest trattoria.
    • “I couldn’t find a pair of jeans under a thousand dollars. [...] This is not the place to go shopping.” [48:59]
  • Ends with anticipation for a new Anthony Bourdain biopic.
    • “Let’s make sure Bourdain lives in infamy for the rest of his life.” [55:03]

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On airport bathroom horror:

  “His fucking dingle dangles, his old wrinkly crinklies. His fucking crinkle cut testicles were hanging out of that goddamn thing. Looked like waffle fries being blown up like a balloon.”
  — Bryan Green [00:12]

• On Spirit Airlines:

  “I had $1,000 airplane credit with Spirit Airlines... and I never, ever used that credit. That should tell you all you need to know.”
  — Bryan Green [13:50]

• On friendship:

  “I don’t know without the podcast that you and I would have stayed as close.”
  — Krissy Hoadley [44:13]

• On NYC shopping:

  “I couldn’t find a pair of jeans under a thousand dollars. I was like, this is not the place to go shopping.”
  — Bryan Green [48:59]

• On podcast’s theme:

  “It is a podcast about friendship. At the end of the day, that’s what I’ve taken to calling it because I don’t know how else to describe it.”
  — Bryan Green [42:42]

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Timestamps for Major Segments

| Segment | Timestamp | |--------------------------------------------------------------------|------------| | Cold Open: The Bathroom Encounter & "Crinkle Cut Sack" Story | 00:08–00:44| | Show Schedule Updates, Streaming Woes | 01:00–02:20| | Riverbeat Fest & Dave Matthews Concert Stories | 02:35–09:27| | Spirit Airlines Horror Stories | 13:07–22:14| | Disney Safari & Theme Park Peeing Etiquette | 23:28–28:49| | Crowdfunding Spirit Airlines, Mark Cuban, Podcast Tech | 29:21–34:45| | Clubhouse Reflections & Room Eavesdropping | 35:15–37:43| | Origins of TCB, Alison Hare, and Core Podcast Values | 39:22–44:48| | Celebrity Sightings in NYC (Alec Baldwin, Drew Barrymore) | 45:41–50:31| | NYC Sticker Shock, Lasagna-Led Bourdain Biopic Excitement | 51:27–55:03|

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Final Thoughts

This episode blends the podcast’s signature mix of unfiltered silly storytelling, meandering nostalgia, and honest moments about why the chemistry between Bryan and Krissy makes The Commercial Break enduringly lovable. The chaos is comic; the friendship is real. If you want festival mishaps, travel meltdowns, the mythos of “crinkle cut sack,” and musings on what makes long-term friendship thrive, this episode is pure TCB.

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For more:

• Watch video episodes or join live streams on YouTube
• Interact with the show or leave a message: 212-433-3822
• Get free stickers and full archives: tcbpodcast.com
• Follow on Instagram: @thecommercialbreak

Best to you!

Transcript

[Brian Green]

On this episode of the commercial break. But what was really disturbing about this is his nuts were hanging out the back end of the, like the leg of his shorts, both of them. His fucking dingle dangles, his old wrinkly crinklies. His fucking crinkle cut testicles were hanging out of that goddamn thing. Looked like waffle fries being blown up like a balloon. It was disgust. It was unnecessary. It was really something that actually disturbed. I went into a stall because I didn't want to be any part of it. And no part of that guy's testicles

[Chris Hoadley]

was he tasting with him.

[Brian Green]

I don't know. I don't know. But what fucking farm was this guy raised on? The next episode of the commercial break starts now. Oh, yeah. Cows and kittens. Welcome back to the commercial break. I'm Brian Green. This is my dear friend, friend and the co host of this show, Chris and Joy Hoadley. Best to you, Chris.

[Chris Hoadley]

Bestie.

[Brian Green]

Brian, best to you out there in the podcast and streaming universe. Thanks for joining us. We really appreciate it. After another extended break from the commercial break. But there's, there's good reasons behind all of this and none of it means the commercial break is going away. So I know that there is some frustration on behalf of the listeners. We've gotten some text messages about how many best ofs we've run over the last month and a half. But there is good reason behind this and I promise you it all benefits the commercial break at the end of the day. But we are now on more of a regular schedule, at least for the foreseeable two weeks. We'll get it done. So now, Wednesdays and Thursdays, we'll be here recording. Possibly some Fridays too. Recording and streaming. So go to YouTube.com the commercial break and you can watch us stream. Make sure you hit the notification bell. Smash.

[Chris Hoadley]

Smash that notification.

[Brian Green]

Smash that notification bell. I started running Frankie B. Best stuff while you were gone. A couple mountain monsters. People love it. They love it. They love Frankie B. I wish. I wish I had something. I wish I had something new to give you. Somebody said you guys don't do video breakdowns anymore. Well, we started streaming and that adds a layer of complexity into the show. And to be honest with you, we're barely hanging on as it is, technical wise.

[Chris Hoadley]

I know. Even just to get on today.

[Brian Green]

Even to get on today. Like, what happened to this? Where is this? What? They changed one thing and I'm totally confused. Whatever. Anyway, we're here. We're here. That's it. That's all you need to know. I was in New York, Chrissy was in Memphis.

[Chris Hoadley]

Memphis, yeah. Successful Riverbeat fest.

[Brian Green]

Yeah.

[Chris Hoadley]

Once again, the third one.

[Brian Green]

How was dmb? Did they shit on anybody?

[Chris Hoadley]

It was great, I have to say. You know, say what you will, but we all know the songs. And he played all the hits and they were all great dancing. Nancy's tripping, Billy's Crash.

[Brian Green]

As I said, I'm a fan of sin. I only knew it the same. They all knew it the same way. Come, come. My friend used to have a whole ditty that he did to that and it had to do.

[Chris Hoadley]

It's easy to.

[Brian Green]

It's easy.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

But I'll tell you what. I saw Dave Matthews at Piedmont park, which I recently with that, that that show was playing on some random channel on Roku. Like they have, like they play concerts channel. They have an everything on Roku. I think it's like Access. Yeah. Maybe it was accessible. They played that show which was recorded to be played on mtv. I think at the time I went there with my ex wife and my brother and his ex wife, all of our ex wives, we went there and I remember it was the Allman Brothers and Dave Matthews Band that played. So Allman Brothers opened up for the Dave Matthews Band and there was 200,000 people.

[Chris Hoadley]

Oh, he's still a huge draw.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, he's one. That's one of the highest grossing live acts still. And even after he took a five year hiatus and then he lost his fiddle player for his fiddle player was fiddling, I think. And so something like that. Yeah.

[Chris Hoadley]

Now that guy died too.

[Brian Green]

Somebody, the saxophone guy died.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yes.

[Brian Green]

And then the fiddle player was fiddling. He was, he was accused of some pretty horrendous stuff. And now he's on Instagram. He. I think he had a stroke and so now he can't play the fiddle anymore. He plays a box. He puts a box in between his knees and he taps it to Dave Matthews music that's playing on like an old tape recorder in the background. It sounds and looks horrible. And people are like on the comment section, like, is this. Are you. Are you punking us? Real is this real is tapping your new thing? He's like, They all do it the same. They all do it the same way. Anyway, went to the Dave Matthews concert and I, I. All I remember about that particular concert because I was pretty smashed. Yeah. By the time Dave Matthews got there, I was really there to see Allman Brothers. The day Matthews Band was on top of that. I just remember three things about that number One. It was next to impossible to get a drink. The lot they had, they horribly mismanaged, misestimated how many people were actually going to show up to this thing. And this was, by the way, this is a free concert.

[Chris Hoadley]

Oh, wow.

[Brian Green]

You did not need tickets to get into this. So it was all my brothers and Dave Matthews at Piedmont Park. And the entire park was covered.

[Chris Hoadley]

Had to be.

[Brian Green]

Especially with free white frat boys and sorority girls. Yes, that's it. Right. And old hippies that wanted to see the Allman Brothers one last time in all their glory. This back when Greg was alive too. I think Chuck was up there with him, if I'm not mistaken. So you could not get a beer. They had big beer tents lining one side of Piedmont park up by the. If you've ever been there, Park Tavern. They ran out of beer quickly. So eventually they backed in some beer trucks and they started pouring beers. Yeah, they ran to Kroger. That's what they did. They ran to Kroger. They. They stole some beer trucks with the taps on the side of them and they started pouring beers and they would put them on these big tables and people were just taking them. At some point they just stopped selling beer and they started serving beer. You know what I'm saying?

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

So, you know, good luck. If you had a beer, you were a beer. I think other people, you couldn't bring beer into the park. So it was. It was a whole shit show. And the Porta Potty situation, by the time that Allman Brothers were into their fourth song, was so bad that there were many tens, if not hundreds of young ladies that were running into the reed field and doing their business.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah, just pain.

[Brian Green]

Yes. And then a thousand guys that were lurking. Right. And it just became like a weird situation. And so the third thing I remember is I was sensing that Dave was getting close to his to the end there. I was sensing that maybe somebody had told Dave, it's time to wrap this up before somebody gets hurt.

[Chris Hoadley]

Right. Yeah, he needs to.

[Brian Green]

It was late at night. It was 11, 11:30. You know, they have neighbor. There's plenty of residents that are down there. I think they were giving him the yank. I could just tell it was coming close to. You can tell. Like it's getting into getting to the end. And I remember telling my ex wife, we should get the fuck out of here right now before this becomes the world's biggest shit show. And I remember we had the biggest fight because she's to leave. And I'm like, the what? How many More Dave Matthew songs do we need to hear? Yeah, we already heard them all. All the good ones have already been played. So we miss Crash. Let's get the out of here. Anyway, I managed to get her out of the crowd, and I'm glad I did because my little brother stayed, and I think it took him two days to get home. It took him two days to get home. Unbelievable.

[Chris Hoadley]

Wow. Well, this was not that.

[Brian Green]

Okay. Well, yeah, it's a more managed situation.

[Chris Hoadley]

Oh, yeah.

[Brian Green]

How many people were there?

[Chris Hoadley]

Oh, gosh, let me see. I don't know, maybe like 8,000.

[Brian Green]

Oh, that's not bad at all.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah. Eight to ten, I think. Yeah.

[Brian Green]

That's a small show. That's not. That's not big for Dave Matthews. I mean, they could probably do 20,000 at an amphitheater, right? I would imagine.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah, I mean, I think so.

[Brian Green]

Okay. Did he play all the hits?

[Chris Hoadley]

He played all the hits.

[Brian Green]

Was it a full set by D and B?

[Chris Hoadley]

It was a full set.

[Brian Green]

A full two hour set or.

[Chris Hoadley]

It was an hour and a half.

[Brian Green]

Hour and a half. This was pretty. That's about as much Dave as I could handle.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah, it was a lot of fun.

[Brian Green]

Still got lots of friends that like to go to Dave. Every year that Dave comes into Atlanta does his same thing. Every year comes. It does the amphitheaters, like fish. Every Fourth of July, fish is coming,

[Chris Hoadley]

see their friends, and you reminisce and it's. It's a good excuse to get together.

[Brian Green]

Listen, I'm Dave Matthews, or I'm Fish or I'm one of these geese or goose or whatever. If I'm geese or goose or fish or whoever. Dave Matthews, more specifically, if I'm one of these, like, older legacy kind of touring bands, that's what I'm doing for the rest of my life. Of course I'm showing up. I'm doing my thing, you know, people love it. It's a. It's a reunion. Every year, the Dave Matthews. My little brother Danny will go with friends that he only sees once a year at the Dave Matthews concert. Yes. That's it. He. That's it. That's all they do. They just. Every year they buy tickets when they go on sale. Every year they show up at the same place. They tailgate, they go together, they get hammered, they go home. You know, see you next year kind of thing. So, you know. But at least they have toilets where the.

[Chris Hoadley]

They do.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. No porta potties. I saw the most disturbing thing when I was at the airport the other day.

[Chris Hoadley]

Oh, really?

[Brian Green]

You know, you get. You get off the plane and you got a tt, right?

[Chris Hoadley]

You do. I go straight for the bathroom.

[Brian Green]

Straight for the bathroom. Two reasons. One reason I won't mention here on air, but I need a. I need my fix. You know what I'm saying? I need my fix immediately. I just got to get my fix. But then number two, I got a TT almost exclusively. I don't like using air.

[Chris Hoadley]

Oh, that's like last resort. If you have to go on the

[Brian Green]

plane to me when I fly to Spain, I'll use the bathroom. And then under duress then, right? I hate those bathrooms. I just hate them. I have hard time peeing when I'm like moving like this. Like my body doesn't want to let fly. When I'm trying to hold on to one wall, you know, I feel completely enclosed in this little capsule. So I go to the men's restroom. I think it was here in. Yeah, it was on the way back. I go to the men's restroom here in Atlanta and empty, pretty much empty bathroom later on at night. And I walk in and there's a line of urinals right there. And there is a guy standing there pishing. And I'm imagining he's in his 50s, shorter guy, kind of, kind of roly poly dude, and he's got shorts on. And he lifted the inside of his shorts to pull his ding dang out and pee.

[Chris Hoadley]

Okay?

[Brian Green]

So rather than pull his shorts down like any other normal human being would, he pulled his shorts up and then pulled his thing out. That's not what's disturbing. That in and of itself is enough to be disturbing. But what was really disturbing about this is his nuts were hanging out the back end of the, like the leg of his shorts. Both of them. His fucking dingle dangles. His old wrinkly crinkliest. His fucking crinkle cut testicles were hanging out of that goddamn thing. Looked like waffle fries being blown up like a balloon. It was disgusting. It was unnecessary. It was really something that actually, actually disturbed. I went into a stall because I didn't want to be any part of it.

[Chris Hoadley]

No.

[Brian Green]

And no part of that guy's testicle

[Chris Hoadley]

was he tasting with him.

[Brian Green]

I don't know. I don't know. But what fucking farm was this guy raised on? Why didn't you pull your shorts down like a normal human being would? Who pees out of the side of their pant leg? Who does that? That's just fucked up.

[Chris Hoadley]

There should be Men's peeing 101 Men's peeing 101.

[Brian Green]

You know, I got a son, you know, you have to teach him the rules of the road when it comes to using that thing. Right? And it's hard to pee with a morning boner, but that doesn't mean you can just pee all over the bathroom. Right. You got to let it go down or figure out how to aim or do whatever. You gotta lift up the seat, put it back down, clean up after yourself. You guys are messy peers. That's what we are. You don't need to add a layer of complication in there by lifting your short leg up and yanking your dick out of it. It's fucking disgusting.

[Chris Hoadley]

I don't want to picture that.

[Brian Green]

I pictured it. I had a full snapshot. Yeah. I was tempted to take a picture, but I think that's illegal. But I was tempted to take a picture to show what not to do. What not to do. Like, blur it out. Like, don't let your balls hang out of the side of your pant leg. That's gr. It was so nasty.

[Chris Hoadley]

Sorry you had to see that.

[Brian Green]

I know. It was not a great way to end my trip. Yeah. I couldn't get it out of my head. And then the damn plane train is broken. You know, they're doing so much construction.

[Chris Hoadley]

So much. I just was through that airport quite a lot.

[Brian Green]

The airport? Yeah.

[Chris Hoadley]

Actually, every airport that I went to had construction going on. Memphis did, too. And I went to Austin, and they had a bunch of construction, too. So I don't know.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, well, you know, up and. Up until last week, I guess they were hoping that Spirit would fly there.

[Chris Hoadley]

Oh, God. Yeah. They're shutting down, right?

[Brian Green]

They shut down. Not they're shutting down. They shut down. Shutdown. And. And therefore, my. My flights got a little extra crowded to and from New York because that's one of the places Spirit was servicing. Atlanta and New York were two of their big destinations that they were flying to. They had, like, 60 flights a day or something going back and that were hitting New York or Atlanta. And so there was a lot of people were filling in those extra spaces. It's. That's. Listen, I have said this before about Spirit, and now we can piss on their grave. Spirit. Fuck Spirit.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah, they were terrible. I never even tried.

[Brian Green]

I had $1,000 airplane credit with Spirit Airlines after my debacle with them. And it was transferable, and I never, ever used that credit. That should tell you all you need to know about Spirit Airlines. I would never fly them again. They left me in Costa Rica for three Days you might say to yourself, well, Brian, Costa Rica is not a bad place to. Well, a shitty casino hotel in the middle of downtown San Jose is not exactly how you want. With no means of transportation or funds for breakfast, lunch or dinner, just a tiny little hotel room where no one's getting in contact with you about when exactly you might get home.

[Chris Hoadley]

Was that the trip where we went?

[Brian Green]

Yes.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah. So, because I came home at a different time, that's.

[Brian Green]

You came home a couple weeks before I did. But when I, when I went, we were all sitting at this. That was the thing about Spirit is Spirit was flying to these destinations down in South America and they were doing it real cheap. Yeah, 99 bucks. 129 bucks. I think I might have gotten that ticket for less than $200 to fly to and from San Jose, Costa Rica. And at that time, I was go. I had been down there a few times. I was planning on going a few times. I'd taken Spirit before. Okay, acceptable. It's not the best airline, but if you can get through the three and a half hour flight or whatever it is without any drama. And at that time there wasn't a lot of airline drama. Like you didn't find people wilding out like they do now, these discount airliners. And I think my flight was, I think. Did you. Did we fly down together? Yeah. So we flew down Spirit together. I think that was fine. Everything was fine. And you know, I had a person to ride with on the way back. I get dropped off at the airport at like 8 in the. Actually, I didn't get dropped off at the airport. I took a bus to the airport. And the guy. There was a guy smoking crack cocaine in the back of the bus. And no one seemed bothered by it. Not one person, not even the bus driver. And the bus driver would stop on the way. He was like stopping at random. This was like a three and a half hour bus ride. And he was stopping on the way to like buy fruit juice, get himself a cantaloupe, say hi to his friends. The bus driver on a, On a government bus that I was taking, I was paying money for. And the bus driver was just stopping at random houses.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

And he'd be back in an hour. I'll see you later. I'll be back. Take a break.

[Chris Hoadley]

Go smoke some crack.

[Brian Green]

Go smoke crack. That's right. That guy was smoking fucking crack on the back of the bus. It was the wildest thing. And there was like six of us on the entire bus.

[Chris Hoadley]

Wasn't there a chicken or something too.

[Brian Green]

There was. There was two live chickens.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yep.

[Brian Green]

You know, hey, listen, it's Costa Rica. I get it. And I was young and, you know, just having fun with the whole thing. But I knew the smell of crack and I knew that the guy four rows behind me was smoking crack.

[Rachel]

How?

[Brian Green]

Because he was one of only four people on the bus at the time. Yeah, it was wild. Wild. So we get to the airport, we get dropped off at the airport. I think we get dropped off outside the airport. And I had to like walk through the traffic to get into the airport, check in two and a half hours before my flight. And before I even got to the gate, the flight was already delayed and delayed. The flight was supposed to leave at like noon. And by six o', clock, Spirit representatives were full on full of shit about what exactly was going on. We're waiting for the plane, but the plane's right there. Oh, well, we're waiting for a part for a plane. Then they were waiting for the crew. Then there was something else. Eventually the crew timed out. It got to like 11 o' clock at night. Crew timed out, and everyone was pissed. But I had made some friends at that time, you know, of course, Misery and company. Misery loves company. And so then Spirit did the right thing. They said, we've set you all up with rooms. So A through whatever, A through M, y' all are going here. And M through Z, you all are going here. And. Okay. We ended up going to like a resort, like a hotel. That was. Okay. Wasn't the worst hotel. It had a casino and a bar at the bottom of it, like an open air bar and a casino. But this is the middle of downtown San Jose. This is not what you think of when you think of Costa Rica. This is a third world country. And this San Jose is a large city inside of. And it's lovely, it's a beautiful city in some parts. That's not the part we were at.

[Chris Hoadley]

Right.

[Brian Green]

But the hotel. Fine, it's fine. We're at a hotel. Fine. Whatever. Yeah, it's a bed to sleep and I can lock the do. Yeah, we'll get out tomorrow. And they said, we'll call you in the morning with your new flight instructions. Keep your phone on. Keep. Stay. Stay close to your phone. Well, I waited till like 1pm in that hotel room waiting for my instructions and they never came. I go downstairs. Hey, have you heard from Spirit? No, but there's a couple of people who got phone calls and they left. Okay. All right. It took me hours to get ahold of anybody at Spirit. I called them eventually at like 5 o' clock in the afternoon. They said, oh, yeah, hang tight, we'll call you with more information. Another night went by. The next day, I went to the airport. I got in a cab with a couple other people. We went to the airport. They still couldn't get us on a flight for whatever bullshit reason. Go back to the hotel. We'll call you when we're ready. Third day, we got up in the morning. We all made a plan. Now, it was like, friendly with people, right? A guy and his daughter who was going to uga. And so we were drinking at the bar and having fun. And we said, okay, 7am if we don't hear anything, we're getting in a cab, we're going to the airport, and we are gonna force our way onto a plane. Yeah, it's just drunk talk, right? And we're gonna force our way. Yeah, there's a plane going to the America, and we're gonna be on it. And we got fussy, we got there and there was a line out the door waiting for Spirit to do something for somebody. I don't even know who those people were, but they were also angry. And we walked right up to the front and we were like, third day we've been here, no word, and how are you gonna get us back to Atlanta?

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

And Delta took fucking mercy on us. Us and gave us seats on a flight that night to Atlanta. And so for that reason, yeah, Delta, no money exchanged hands. We just. Delta representatives just stepped in and said, if you're going to Atlanta, we have a few extra seats. And we immediately were like, oh, yes, yes. And they were like, okay, we've got four extra seats. That was three of us went on that. And it was a fourth person who ended up going to Atlanta. They were like, on their way to Detroit, but they were like, I could do Atlanta. I can figure out how to get to Detroit. And so, so we got to. We went to Atlanta in a perfectly lovely Delta plane, being treated like human fucking beings. And then Spirit, two weeks later, their senior vice president from a Bullshit, sent us an email. All of us on that plane. And it's so sorry about the inconvenience. It's not the way Spirit wants to conduct its business. Blondie, blonde, blah. Here's a thousand dollar voucher for future flights transferable. Have fun. Pick your destination. Bring a friend. Have fucking fun. And you know what? I said you. Yeah, I'm not doing it again. Spirit. Fool me once, shame on them. Fool me Three times. Shame on everybody. That's it. I'm done. Done. Take your wrinkly, crinkly, short testicles and fuck you.

[Chris Hoadley]

I wonder if that guy had just gotten off a Spirit.

[Brian Green]

I'm sure he was not flying Delta. Delta people don't do that. No, listen, I don't mean to be a snob, but there is one place I will be a snob, and that is my airline tickets. If I can fly Delta. Why? Because you can fly Frontier or Were or Spirit, if they existed.

[Chris Hoadley]

It's just a gamble.

[Brian Green]

It's a gamble the pilots are young, less experienced. I'm not saying they're bad pilots. I'm saying they're less experienced. They're being hustled for very little money. They're sleeping in apartments that have 50 other pilots sleeping in them. They live a miserable existence. These. These puddle jumping, you know, discount carriers. Ask those pilots how their lives are, especially the new ones. They're miserable, they're making very little money, and they're a whole lot of work, and they're not even able to sustain their own lifestyle. That's it. That's what you do. A Delta pilot needs, like 7,000 million hours in order to be a Delta pilot. I want my pilot with little gray in his mustache. You know why?

[Chris Hoadley]

True.

[Brian Green]

Because if something goes wrong, he likely understands what it is and he has the experience to remedy the situation. And if he doesn't, well, then we're all going to die anyway. And I'd rather die on a nice seat with a TV in front of me. Yeah. Then fucking my knees, knocking around a plastic patio chair that someone bolted to the ground on a spirit tin can. Okay, that's how I feel. Fired up today. All right, let's take a break and we'll be back.

[Rachel]

Okay. You're probably wondering why I, Rachel, have taken over the voice duties at tcb. It's pretty simple. Astrid asked me to shut Brian up, even for a minute. Well, lovely Astrid, your wish is my command. Do you want to help Astrid, too? You know you do. Leave a message for her or me or Chrissy at 212-433-3TCB. That's 212-433-3822. You can be on the show, too. Just call and say something, anything. Or text us, and we'll text you right back. Promise. Then head over to tcbpodcast.com and get your free sticker. It's your constitutional right to a sticker, and we must abide. You get the point? Follow us on Instagram at The commercial break and watch all the episodes on [e-mail] thecommercial break. Best to you and Astrid. Especially Astrid.

[Brian Green]

Ah, whatever. Cares. All right. And we're back. Yeah, that's. You know, speaking of peanut, I just watched a video right before we. Right before you got here, I was watching a video about a. You know, you go to the Animal Kingdom down there in Disney World, and you can go to the. You can go do the safari where you drive through the back.

[Chris Hoadley]

I've heard of that.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. The Animal Kingdom is the biggest park by acreage in the. I think it's. It might be one of the biggest theme parks in the world, actually by acreage. But most of the acreage is the animal park in the back of it. Right. It's just. Just hundreds of acres back there where they're keeping elephants and giraffes. It was a big deal when they opened up that park. They had zookeepers that didn't necessarily know what they were doing, so some of those animals died. But they figured it out. And now, by all accounts, they treat the animals well. They have a big open pastures, the lions run and big encampments. And then you can go see them by taking the little Jeep. Yeah. I forget what they call it.

[Chris Hoadley]

Is it on a track?

[Brian Green]

Harambe. The Harambe Safaris. It's not on a track. They're just big safari trucks that carry like 25, 30 people at a time. Time. And someone actually drives it while someone else tells you what's going on and what you can see and the reason why they have to drive them and not put them on a track. There are certainly paths, and they're got. They're guided. Right. They can't go up, but they can go off if sometimes there's animal interactions with those actual things. Like, I remember one time, Astrid and I got stuck for like, 30, maybe 45 minutes because a giraffe had had a new baby, and the baby and the mama were standing in the path, but they will not move the animals. Like, if the animal walks in front of the. The. The truck, you're stuck there until the animal decides to move. It's a real live safari. Right? But there was a horrendous moron with his children jumped off of one of these in the middle of the safari to pee. Oh, God, to pee. And they had. And everybody else was videotaping this fucking moron peeing. He jumped out of the safari truck and went over into the bushes and peed. First of all, it's a real live safari. Yeah, There are real animals like rhinos and lions and alligators, crocodiles, even zebras can be dangerous. They're. If they're not used to interacting with human beings. Right. And so this guy gets out for a good two minutes. I mean, this guy must have really had to pish. He was there for a long time. He was peeing. And everyone else is like, what the is going on? First of all, Second of all, your poor fucking children, cuz you're now all over the Internet peeing. Being the idiot who jumped out of a safari car in Disney World to pee. You know, I want to give you a little hint. If you ever go to Disney World, same thing with Universal Studios. Maybe not Six Flags.

[Chris Hoadley]

And that Disney World is out in California, right?

[Brian Green]

No, in Florida. Oh, Disneyland is in California. Disneyland. Much smaller. Disney World.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah. Huge.

[Brian Green]

Thousands of acres.

[Chris Hoadley]

It's the world.

[Brian Green]

20 square miles.

[Chris Hoadley]

Not just the land.

[Brian Green]

It's huge. It's huge. And that's why. That's what Disney wanted. He wanted you to be able to drive into somewhere and be engrossed in the world without McDonald's signs. Right outside of the fucking theme park. Right. Which is what happened in Disney California, which is he didn't like. So that's why he started buying up all this land. Anyway, I don't want to give you the whole Disney history. Even though I could. Yeah, even though I could. I don't want to. If you think I'm smart, you should ask my son.

[Chris Hoadley]

He really knows all the Disney tribes.

[Brian Green]

So when you go to one of these parks, Disney World, Disneyland, Universal Studios, there is a rule that you can talk to a cast member and get out of line and they give you a card. You can go to the bathroom and come back and take your place in line. So you don't have to worry about losing your place if you have to pee there. Situations like this can be remedied pretty easily, right? And everyone would understand. Everyone in line would understand. You were standing there, you have to go pee, go pee, be. Come back. Okay. Cool, dude. Right? But you fucking moron, by allowing yourself to be videotaped like this, jumping out of the safari, putting yourself and others in danger, and then your poor fucking children. Because here's the end result of that. You didn't get to the end of the safari and enjoy the rest of your vacation. You got trespassed at Disney and you'll never be allowed back. And likely the other people in your group banned for life. It happens all the time. Lots of people. It happens to hundreds. If not thousands of people. Every year you do something stupid at Disney World, they will trespass you and you will not be allowed in. And it is. There have been like famous bloggers and vloggers, influencers who have been trespassed for Disney for this reason or that. And it takes them years to petition Disney to allow them back in. Even when it's just a misunderstanding, once you're trespassed, it's really hard to get back in. And trust me, me, if anybody knows, Disney security knows. I think you're going to sneak past with some sunglasses on. They have all kind of high security measures. Ain't going to happen. You aren't going to be allowed back in. So you just ruined it for you and your entire fucking family for the rest of your goddamn life because you couldn't hold it another five minutes, which is ridiculous. The whole ride in and of itself is like 30 minutes, 40 minutes long.

[Chris Hoadley]

Oh yeah, that's not long.

[Brian Green]

It's, it's not a terribly long ride. It's a long ride, but it's not. You can't hold your, you're an adult. You can't hold your pee pee. TT I bet you're, I bet you're a short peer. I bet you're a pull up your short kind of pee guy to the side. To the side.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

So gross. Pee like a human. Sit down. And I'd have more respect for if you would have sat on that urinal with your pants around your ankles. I really would have. I honestly would have gone, well, you gotta go. You gotta go. You don't pee in sinks. You don't pull your pants. You don't pull your pant leg up and pull your ding dong out. So stupid of you. How, how rude.

[Chris Hoadley]

How dare you.

[Brian Green]

How dare you. People in the chat are like, glad you're talking about Spirit. Yeah, that. I'm talking about Spirit too. Fuck Spirit. There's a guy online who, when Spirit announced that they had unable to make a deal with the government. Donald Trump is gonna put $500 million into Spirit and own 90% of it. It. We don't even know if we're in a war or not. But we now going to, we're now going to have airlines. That's what we're going to do. We're going to run airlines. The government doesn't know the first thing about running an airline. That was his brainiac idea. And by the way, that is a purely commun. Communist vision of this country to start getting buying private companies and owning them. The is Going on. Anyway, thank God that didn't happen. But now there's a guy online, just a guy, just a dude online who started saying that he would. He would be the CEO of the airline if people could get enough money to buy.

[Chris Hoadley]

Okay, like crowdfund it, crowdsource it.

[Brian Green]

So he got on.

[Chris Hoadley]

He.

[Brian Green]

So all of a sudden, like, bankers started calling him, Hedge funds started calling him.

[Chris Hoadley]

Really?

[Brian Green]

Yeah, he's like a dude who likes to watch airplanes online. Like a flight watcher. You know what I'm talking about? These guys, okay, he probably knows more than most about airplanes, but running an airline, they couldn't make it work. But you think you can make it work. So essentially his idea is to get enough money and then go to the bankruptcy court and petition them to buy the. Buy the business, which is a dumb idea. But okay, listen, games, the people at GameStop, they figured that out with GameStop. I think there's a lot less to be concerned about with GameStop than there is with Spirit Airlines. But okay, so then I saw the other day, so I'm kind of following this guy. He's got millions of views, hundreds of thousands of likes. Many people have committed to funding. I think he's gotten like $150 million worth of funding already. Committed? Yeah, he's had phone calls with like Goldman Sachs. I mean, the guy is like, you know, he's. People are calling him and saying, hey, I'm behind this idea.

[Chris Hoadley]

Okay.

[Brian Green]

So I saw the other day he like pinged Mark Cuban, right? And I thought I would call Mark Cuban.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah. I wonder what Mark said.

[Brian Green]

Mark probably like, nah, nah, nah, nah. Fuck you, Green. Do me a favor, lose my email Brian Green. That's probably what he said. Is this Brian? Is it Brian with this wise idea? I'm always emailing Mark with some wise idea that he doesn't like. Like, hey, man, come on.

[Chris Hoadley]

He's always like, this is why that will not work.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, this is why this will not work. This is why you will not be getting additional responses from me. I'll give him credit for that. When I email him, he puts the kibosh on it quickly. He doesn't drag me along. He's just like, dumb idea. I think that's what he said to two of my emails. Dumb idea.

[Chris Hoadley]

I love your direct in with Mark after the big Nashville.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, I envision we have a cute relationship. Of course, he probably doesn't even know who the fuck I am. He claims he does. Every time I email, like, hey, it's Brian from Nashville and he's like, yeah, yeah, dumb idea. I one time thought of I wanted to buy, like, a podcast network, right? And it was for sale.

[Chris Hoadley]

And I remember that.

[Brian Green]

And I said, hey, man, 20 million bucks, we can buy this podcast network. And then his response was, do you realize that. That I'm like, $20 million in the hole from Fireside, the other podcast network I bought? Yeah. He's like, dumb idea.

[Chris Hoadley]

I saw that Fireside got bought.

[Brian Green]

It did, yeah. What? No. Who the fuck bought Fireside?

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah, because I was curious. It popped into my head the other day. That is, I was like, where? What happened to Fireside? And then I saw. I can't remember if it was, like, a headline that pulled up when I Googled it or if it was just that I noticed that he. I don't think Mark's involved anymore.

[Brian Green]

Wow. Radio.com. mark Cuban's Fireside acquired by consumable as ad tech company plans new streamer for AI driven creator first media landscape, whatever the fuck that means. Oh, they also bought. They also bought radio.com. okay. So they bought both of them at the same time. All right. Okay.

[Chris Hoadley]

And Mark was like, let's pull the plug on this.

[Brian Green]

Partners Mark Levin. And. But here's the thing. He invested $20 million in that platform that I know of. $20 million that I know of.

[Chris Hoadley]

It was a great idea.

[Brian Green]

It was a really good idea. Terribly mismanaged from the beginning as Clubhouse was also a really good idea. Hot in the moment, but they had no idea how to capitalize on it, no idea how to take it to the next step.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

And same with Fireside. And then Fireside just became a streaming television platform. It was like, streaming weird. So, but here's the thing. He invested $20 million, and then it got bought. Right. So it actually wasn't a loss. I imagine they bought it for more than he put in. And Fallon, who was the person who actually started it, and then Mark invested in it.

[Chris Hoadley]

It was lovely, by the way.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, I liked Fallon. Fallon was lovely. She was a lovely person. So now she's probably rolling in the dough also. I imagine she got a couple million dollars walking away from that. So I guess it didn't all turn out bad for them, because if you would ask me six months ago about Fireside, I would have been like that. A dumb idea. Dumb idea.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah. Well, that's what made me think of it. I was like, whatever happened to that? And I saw they were bought.

[Brian Green]

Wow. I wonder if Clubhouse is still a thing. I bet it is. Do you think it is?

[Chris Hoadley]

I don't think so.

[Brian Green]

I still have the Clubhouse. Well, Apple offloaded Clubhouse because I haven't

[Chris Hoadley]

used it in four years.

[Brian Green]

God, did I spend a lot of time on Clubhouse.

[Chris Hoadley]

Oh, that was a big one.

[Brian Green]

I really did spend a lot of time. I wasted a lot of my life.

[Chris Hoadley]

I remember seeing too. Just like the valuation was crazy when that thing was hot.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. It's still around.

[Chris Hoadley]

Is it?

[Brian Green]

It's still around. Look at that. 72 people in a room. Who are these 72 people? Let's listen in. I mean, it makes sense because they're probably gonna list everything, but again, the gain of function part is the part should really be worried about. Oh, okay.

[Chris Hoadley]

What room is it? What's the topic of the room?

[Brian Green]

This is called Worker Bees along with my beautiful flowers. Okay.

[Chris Hoadley]

It seems like it's thriving.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, it seems like. Seems like everything's going great in here. Oh, here. Iran War Maga update. And uncles had separate bedrooms.

[Chris Hoadley]

They didn't share the same bedroom.

[Brian Green]

I heard that part. But what about the bra? What?

[Chris Hoadley]

Well, who gonna sleep with a bra

[Brian Green]

on next to a man?

[Chris Hoadley]

Why do people.

[Brian Green]

That's what I'm saying. That has nothing to do with the Iran war. Who's gonna sleep with a bra next to a man? Seems like Clubhouse is doing great. You wanna have fun? Jump into Clubhouse. I heard two N words and an update on the Iran war, which has something to do with bras. I don't know.

[Chris Hoadley]

Bras and people sleeping in separate bedrooms.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, maybe they're talking about how oppressive.

[Chris Hoadley]

Or LeBron.

[Brian Green]

No, he said bras on. I actually don't know. Maybe you're right. Maybe they said LeBron. Who's going to sleep with LeBron? Everybody.

[Chris Hoadley]

I think that's true.

[Brian Green]

Someone just said in the comments, I'm watching a podcast. Watching a podcast. It's very meta. That reminds me. Let me talk about Alison Hare when we get back. Oh, yes, speaking of meta, she used to have a podcast called the Podcaster's Journey.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yes.

[Brian Green]

Would you want a meta podcast? That was very meta. I actually found it to be instructive at times. But we're not watching a podcast. We're in Clubhouse. That's a little bit different. But. But, you know, I don't. I was so fascinated with Clubhouse when it first came out. For a year, I spent hundreds of hours.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah, you were like, in the bathroom late at night.

[Brian Green]

I was. People were like, pinging me in the rooms, and I'd be like, hey, it's Brian. If you want to get heard, you have to be found that's my podcast of wisdom that I say in every room four times an hour. I sound smart, don't I? I have a new child, and my wife is breastfeeding and planning my divorce.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yes.

[Brian Green]

I gotta go. I'm getting a divorce. I'll be back. All right. Sick of it.

[Rachel]

Hey, it's Rachel, your new voice of God here on tcb. And just like you, I'm wondering just how much longer this podcast podcast can continue. Let's all rejoice that another episode has made it to your ears. And I'll rejoice that my check is in the mail. Speaking of mail, get your free TCB sticker in the mail by going to tcbpodcast.com and visiting the Contact Us page. You can also find the entire commercial break library, audio and video, just in case you want to look at [e-mail]. want your voice to be on an episode of the show? Leave us a message at 212-433. That's 212-433-3822. Tell us how much you love us, and we'll be sure to let the world know on a future episode. Or you could make fun of us. That'd be fine, too. We might not air that, but maybe. Oh, and if you're shy, that's okay. Just send a text. We'll respond. Now, I'm gonna go check the mailbox for payment while you check out our sponsors, and then we'll return to this episode of the commercial Break.

[Brian Green]

Someone in the comments section who's been in here a number of times is has the the name Slap that Bass. Now, I'm gonna. I'm talking to one person specifically. Why are you a bass player? That's just a question I have. So answer me. Okay. Allison Hare, who is a friend of the show, really, I think the commercial break actually owes Alison Hair quite a debt because I'm not sure we would be the commercial break if Allison hadn't encouraged me. Yeah. To get behind a microphone and get behind it. The for those of you that don't know the history of the commercial break, like, going way, way back, is that Astrid had said that I should do a YouTube channel based on, like, just talk to the camera about commercial real estate in an entertaining way. And so I started to do that, and I found that commercial real estate could not be done in an entertaining way.

[Chris Hoadley]

Right.

[Brian Green]

It bored me. It bored me. So I said to Asridge, you know, I don't want to do that. I think, first of all, like, my Clients are really secretive. Like the commercial real estate is kind of a sketchy, shady. Can be a sketchy, shady business. And so a couple months after that, Allison, who had been podcasting for a year at that point, said, I'm going to put together a cohort, like a class where I'm going to teach other people how to stand up a podcast. Which I knew how to stand up a podcast, but I just didn't know what to do. And so through that four, six week cohort where other people were trying to get their podcast up and running, we came up with the idea of the commercial break, a comedy show. And that's where we got the name, and that's where, you know, all this stuff happened. And then I said to Chrissy, I don't want to do this by myself. At least not for the first episode or two.

[Chris Hoadley]

Right. And then that turns out later,

[Brian Green]

whoever slapped that bass is. Is. Says, yes, I do play bass. Good. I like bass players. Bass players are cool. And also reference references. The movie I love you, man. A movie about friendship. Oh, that's very sweet, Allison.

[Chris Hoadley]

Thanks for joining the stream, by the way.

[Brian Green]

Thanks for joining the stream. Allison is marking her seventh year anniversary of podcasting.

[Chris Hoadley]

Oh, happy anniversary.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, no shit. By doing seven straight hours of her show. Streaming seven straight hours of her show, which sounds like a commercial break stunt.

[Chris Hoadley]

I was gonna say. We've done that before.

[Brian Green]

We've done that before. I'm okay. It's not a particularly unique idea. I'm okay with it. And she's asked me to come be on one of those hours. So I will put a link into the show notes on the 14th of this month, I will put a link in the show notes. Next week, as it gets closer, I'll put a link in the show notes if you want to watch it. But go check out culture changers. And good luck, Allison, on seven hours of talking by yourself. That's got to be really hard to do. I mean, we did it for 12 hours and we really only did seven of those hours.

[Chris Hoadley]

Are you going to her studio?

[Brian Green]

No, I think I'm probably gonna dial in. Her studio's in her. I don't know. She actually rents a studio down the street. Somebody who has a podcast studio down the street. And I don't know, maybe it's live, but I'm not gonna go anywhere. I don't wanna do that. I don't wanna drive down in that traffic. I can zoom in. That's perfectly okay with me. I'll fly to New York for one Meeting, But I'm not gonna drive downtown Atlanta. No, fuck that.

[Chris Hoadley]

Oh, it's a mess.

[Brian Green]

Slap your. Slap that bass says, I love your show because it's a show about friendship. Been listening for a few years now. Oh, well, thank you very much. We see you in there and thank you so much. And we see a lot of people in the, in the chat and a lot of people text message and all that stuff, and thank you so much. We love you too. It is a podcast about friendship. At the end of the day, that's what I've taken to calling it because I don't know how else to describe it. I was talking to someone the other day in New York and they said, you know, it always comes up like, oh, I heard you had a podcast.

[Chris Hoadley]

Exactly.

[Brian Green]

And I shy away. Yeah. What's it about? Taken to saying it's a show about friendship. It's just two people who love each other and have a long time friendship. And we get on there and we talk about whatever it is that we want to talk about.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah. In fact, I would say, are we coming up on our 20th year of friendship?

[Brian Green]

Yeah.

[Chris Hoadley]

2007 was when.

[Brian Green]

2007. Yeah. So we would be 20 years into our friendship. 2007. It's. It's lovely, lovely, Lovely to have known you for so long.

[Chris Hoadley]

Lovely to have known you.

[Brian Green]

Cheers.

[Chris Hoadley]

And to still be friends.

[Brian Green]

To still be friends. Yeah. Yeah. My twin brother is friends with people he's been friends with since we were in sixth grade. Right. I have not rolled that way. Not because I don't love those people. I do. I think they're lovely. I. I have nothing bad to say about. I'm also friends with them, but not friends in that way. Not like super close to them. Because life moves on.

[Chris Hoadley]

You grow and you change.

[Brian Green]

You grow and you change. Things become different and you have different

[Chris Hoadley]

interests, move to different areas, even if you're in the same city. I mean, I mean, gosh, I don't know without the podcast that you and I would have stayed as close.

[Brian Green]

Well, we wouldn't have stayed as close. Yeah.

[Chris Hoadley]

Because, I mean, I am. I'm in downtown, you're here, and. Yeah. And it's a, It's a hall.

[Brian Green]

It is a hall together. Yeah. It's not easy to just flip around and, you know, head to downtown Atlanta and, you know, so I, I appreciate people who stay friends with people for 40, 50, 60 years, but you and Raphael and Rachel and a few other people that orbit me are really my longest friends, and I'm fine with that. Like, I don't need to be friends with people that I was friends with in sixth grade just to say we're still friends.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah. Well, I'm sure if you saw those people, you'd catch up.

[Brian Green]

I did. I just saw them at my brother's wedding. Yeah, it was great. Wonderful. Lovely to see at the bachelor party. It's awesome. It's great to see you. It's good to talk about old times and, you know, hang out. But we're old now, so, you know, it's like, how many times can we tell the same story? We remember we were there, or some of us don't remember even though we were there. Me, mainly. Some people were telling the stories, and I was like, really? I was there. But then other people were also saying the same thing. Like, stories. I remember vividly about, like, one guy specifically, and he was there, and I was telling him. I was like, you remember? And he's like, I have no fucking clue what you're talking about. I'm like, we literally set a horse on fire and pushed him out of an airplane. You don't remember that? No clue. I have no idea what you're talking about. Speaking of getting old, you know who's getting old? Old? Alec Baldwin is getting old. I saw Alec in New York.

[Chris Hoadley]

Oh, you did?

[Brian Green]

I saw Drew Barrymore. Yeah, I saw Drew Barrymore in New York. Yes, I saw.

[Chris Hoadley]

She does not seem to be getting old.

[Brian Green]

No, she looks lovely. I was in SoHo, which is, you know, the very posh part of New York. Right. All the fancy stores are there, and, you know, the streets are lovely and restaurants and all this. Soho and noho and Flatiron and all that stuff that, you know, that's like a trendy, cool place. The New York Fashion Institute is down there, so it's a lot of young people.

[Chris Hoadley]

Is the High Line near there or. Where's the High Line?

[Brian Green]

I don't know.

[Chris Hoadley]

Okay.

[Brian Green]

If I'm being honest. You mean the one. The. The. The walkway above the.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yes. Yeah, yeah.

[Brian Green]

No, I think that's on the other. Not. Not. It's on. It's in the city, but I think it's up further north and west than where I am.

[Chris Hoadley]

Okay.

[Brian Green]

But it's a lovely part of town, and I'm all over soho and noho lately, walking around to this meeting, into that meeting.

[Chris Hoadley]

And so the south of Houston, north of Houston. Is that what.

[Brian Green]

South of Houston, north of Houston. Houston, I think Houston.

[Chris Hoadley]

Houston, that's right.

[Brian Green]

So you. I'm walking down Broadway, and I'm going back to the office, where I'm working on Broadway.

[Chris Hoadley]

Live on Broadway.

[Brian Green]

And it's not unusual to see a big black car pull up. And, you know, people get out of it. And sometimes you know who they are, and sometimes you don't. It's not also hard to spot celebrities in this part of the world. But I'm walking, and there's a Uber. Guy gets out, opens the door this way, and I'm walking this way, and out jumps two children. And one of them kind of does this, like, little spin and little twirl. And I'm walking and spinning, little twirl. And she knocks into my leg, right? And I was like, oh, oh, oh, oh, sorry, sorry, sorry. And who's getting out of the car? Alec Baldwin.

[Chris Hoadley]

Alec?

[Brian Green]

Yeah. And two nannies appear out of nowhere. And so the nanny's like, oh, sorry, sorry, sorry. And I'm like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. And Alec Baldwin looks at me, he goes. He goes, kids, sorry about that. And I was like, yeah, that's. No. Are you Alec Baldwin? You look so much older in person than you do on your Instagram.

[Chris Hoadley]

He's aged.

[Brian Green]

He has.

[Chris Hoadley]

But, I mean, not only is he older in age, but he's got so many young kids and the kids and all of the troubles that he's been through.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. I can only imagine how that must weigh on him. So, you know, but he was walking into what I assume was his apartment. Right. That's what I assume, is that he was walking into where he lives in this building in. In New York. And I just watched him kind of walk away toward the door of this building. And I just noticed that he was just kind of hunched over and, like, you know, walking with a stiffness. And I thought, he's. He's getting old, but he is, like, 72, isn't he? He is, I think, 72, 73.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

Those kids are young, man.

[Chris Hoadley]

Gosh.

[Brian Green]

Kids are young. They each had a nanny. Is how I. Is how I sized this situation up was that there were two children with him, and they each had a nanny with them. I did not see his wife. I would have liked to have seen her, but I did not see his wife. And then I was walking around, like, the boutique to the boutique district of soho where I'm staying, where the hotel was.

[Chris Hoadley]

They denied you entry into the store, Chrissy.

[Brian Green]

Some of these places. It's like, I went shopping the other day. I needed a pair of jeans, and so I was like, okay, let me see if I can find a pair of jeans under A hundred dollars? I couldn't find a pair of jeans under a thousand dollars. I was gonna say insane. I was like, this is not the place to go shopping. I was asking somebo in this place where I'm helping out. I said, we're gonna go get a pair of jeans. And she goes, uniqlo, right? Like the store Uniqlo. And I go, okay, and how much am I gonna pay for those jeans? And she's like, it's the only jeans I can afford in this part of town. I was like, okay, maybe I'll go look there. But I was walking in this boutique district just to get to where I was going. And across the street comes, shuttling this little pocket rocket firebrand of a human being by herself and cuts. She cuts right in front of me. And it was Drew Barrymore to go into, like, one of these boutiques, like, these little dress shops. And I was like, drew? I go, oh, that's Drew Barrymore. I wanted to say hi because I like. I like Drew Barrymore too. She looked at me with a smile. But I, you know, what do you say?

[Chris Hoadley]

Well, what do you say?

[Brian Green]

I like you. Yeah, you're my favorite. I just watched ET with my kids. That scared the shit out of them. Can I shop with you? I'm looking for jeans. Hey, I'm Brian from the commercial break. Can I shop with you for jeans?

[Chris Hoadley]

Right.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. I didn't want to do that. And then, yeah, you see a lot of. There's. And other people. I've seen other celebrities just walking around Soho. Did I tell you about the, like, the. You know what Stussy is?

[Chris Hoadley]

Yes.

[Brian Green]

Did I tell you about Stussy?

[Chris Hoadley]

Yes.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, this line. It's Stussy, the line.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

I'm not waiting in line for Stussy. I mean, I'm not even sure I could afford Stussy even if I got in line and made it all the way there. I'm not sure. But I will tell you what. There is a line outside that store every day. Every day. And they close by, like 3 o', clock, 4 o', clock, because I think they're just sold out of whatever it

[Chris Hoadley]

is they have, or they've got to let all the rest of the people in line in.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, that's. I have no idea. I don't know why. It's crazy. And then they just open, like, a Ray Ban, like, store there, and the Ray Ban store is like a champagne bar. And wow, it's so crazy the amount of. If you live in that part of town, you are part of the one person. Oh, yeah, there's an old saying. Not an old saying. It's new to me, but everybody says it. Says it's an old saying. If you. No one lives in soho. They just go to soho. Right. Because it's so, so expensive.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

So expensive.

[Chris Hoadley]

New York in general, but yeah.

[Brian Green]

Oh, my God. New York's expensive. I went out to eat. We went to a little. A little cafe. Just like a little street cafe. Right. One of these.

[Chris Hoadley]

I love those little street cafes. Yes.

[Brian Green]

And we go.

[Chris Hoadley]

Or is it trattoria?

[Brian Green]

Trattoria. I'm not sure. Don't care. I'll say trattoria for the rest of my life. So we go and we're in there. And it's the size of this room, right? Yeah. There's a little patio outside. That's the new thing in New York since COVID is they all have these boxes that they build and they sit them out on the street and they have tables on them and, you know, they coverings and stuff. So we. So we go in there, it's like three of us. We go in there, we sit. It's like lasagna, spaghetti, bruschetta, stuff like that. And we order, all of us, we order two appetizers, all of us order an entree, $210 for this little likes. And the food was good. Don't get me wrong, it was good. The service was wonderful. Don't get me wrong, it was wonderful. But $200 worth. Wonderful.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

How would I take my family there, there? How would I ever afford to go and sit and eat and spend all that kind of money on lasagna? It's crazy, Chrissy.

[Chris Hoadley]

It is crazy.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. We got to get out of this war. We got to get out of this war so that we can, like, temper, so that everyone can calm down a little bit. And I think that's going to make the price of lasagna go down. I think the price of lasagna is high because of the war.

[Chris Hoadley]

I want some lasagna now, actually.

[Brian Green]

Oh, my God. This lasagna was. And it was like squid ink dyed.

[Chris Hoadley]

Oh, right.

[Brian Green]

Pasta that they use the lasagna that

[Chris Hoadley]

they use that place down. It's down near me.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. And so at first when I cut into it, it was like black pasta. I was like, oh, what's that? But then it did give it a little bit of flavor that made it just that much better. And it was just like old style, sloppy lasagna bruschetta with the toast, a Little bit burnt. When the bruschetta showed up and the toast was burned, I thought to myself, they burned the toast and they sent it out. But there's a reason why that burnt bread gives it a little extra something and I don't know what it is. It cuts through the acidity of the tomatoes. It's lovely. Look at me, I'm Anthony Bor Bourdain now, by the way. Anthony Bourdain, new biopic coming.

[Chris Hoadley]

Oh, I can't wait.

[Brian Green]

Did you see the trailer? You gotta watch it. You gotta watch it.

[Chris Hoadley]

Is there somebody that's playing him or they have footage?

[Brian Green]

No, someone's playing. Okay, someone's playing him. And it just is focused on that five year period of him getting into cheffery, into cookery.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

And that's what the. I read.

[Chris Hoadley]

I've read two of his books.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. Restaurant Confidential.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah, Restaurant Confidential. So good.

[Brian Green]

It's so good.

[Chris Hoadley]

So good.

[Brian Green]

And the whole first half of the book is about this five year period

[Chris Hoadley]

when they must be based in. On that.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. When he starts cooking in the seafood restaurant. And the kind of the, the misadventures of a bunch of young guys working in a restaurant together over the course of these summers and how much trouble they get into and the drugs. Yeah, this is in New York, but like, like not downtown. Downtown. But then he went and became a famous chef downtown. And I cannot wait to see this movie. Is also blessed by the Bourdain estate.

[Chris Hoadley]

Okay, good.

[Brian Green]

Where the documentary that came out after his death was not. So. That was. It was weird. Everyone was like, what? And they said it's because they tried to put a narrative to his story when his story didn't have it, when his life didn't have a narrative. That wasn't what he was about, but I think that was what he was about. He put all of these wonderful hours of television together that had a narrative. Get out there, eat the world, see the world. See the world through other people's eyes. Cultures, experience, culture. There is a narrative there. So I don't, I don't agree with that, but. Okay, let's go see this movie. Let's support it.

[Chris Hoadley]

Let's do it.

[Brian Green]

Let's. Let's make sure Bourdain lives in infamy for the rest of his life.

[Chris Hoadley]

God, and now I miss him.

[Brian Green]

I wish he was still here because I know he'd be doing something cool.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah, he always was.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, I know he'd be telling the. I just know he'd be me telling, Telling that narrative would be so good right now through those hours of television. Maybe it would have changed into another kind of show or whatever, but he would be out in the world and he would be helping. I know good ones always die young. That's why I'm still here. All right. YouTube.com TheCommercial Break okay, go, go there. Follow us, subscribe, do all that stuff. You can watch us live. Chrissy and I are. You will be back tomorrow?

[Chris Hoadley]

No.

[Brian Green]

Oh, we're not back tomorrow. No, we are not back tomorrow. We'll be back next week. TCB podcast.com for more information. All the audio, all the video. Okay, Chrissy, that's all I can do for today.

[Chris Hoadley]

I think so.

[Brian Green]

I'll tell you that I love you.

[Chris Hoadley]

I love you.

[Brian Green]

I'll say best to you best to you out there in the podcast universe. Until next time Chrissy and I will will say we do say and we must say goodbye. I'm going to Coachella to see this.