Daddy Flaviato, Is That You?

Summary

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The Commercial Break – Episode Summary

Episode: "Daddy Flaviato, Is That You?"

Date: March 28, 2024
Hosts: Bryan Green & Krissy Hoadley
Podcast: The Commercial Break

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Overview

In this offbeat, improv-driven episode, Bryan and Krissy riff on a mishmash of pop culture, food obsessions and aversions, questionable eating habits, parenting chaos, and a wild Italian inheritance drama. With their signature unfiltered banter, they embrace the mundane and the absurd, poking fun at themselves, modern life, and each other — delivering the self-described “Cheesecake Factory of comedy podcasts.”

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Mystique (and Disgust) of Ballpark Food

• Ballpark Hot Dogs & Burgers: Bryan waxes poetic about the irreplaceable taste of hot dogs at a ballpark and the legendary H&F Burger in Atlanta, highlighting its origin as a secret late-night menu item ([02:54]).
  • “Those burgers quickly became the thing that everybody wanted...These burgers were good enough to wait in the bar for.” – Bryan ([03:33])
• The Horror of What’s Inside: They dive into the grim reality of hot dog ingredients and how industrial food production can ruin appetites.
  • Bryan recounts seeing a semi-truck spill hot dog slurry and being “cleared of your hot dog hangover” forever ([06:48]):
    • "If you want to be cleared of your hot dog hangover, this is the way to do it. Go look at this picture. Absolutely horrifying." ([06:50])
• Home Cooking vs. Ballpark Eating: Krissy only eats hot dogs at games, never at home ([07:47]).

2. Childhood Food Rituals & Grown-Up Regrets

• Mac and Cheese & Hot Dogs: The classic “mom meal” and nostalgia for simple (but questionable) food like Hamburger Helper and stew ([08:03]).
• Disgusting Adult Food Hacks: Bryan reveals his go-to late-night snack: ramen noodles, Mexican cheese, sour cream, hot sauce, plus Fritos or crackers for crunch.
  • “I ate that probably every night for 12 years.” – Bryan ([10:36])
• Ramen Revelation: After seeing how ramen is made, Bryan questions its noodle status altogether ([11:28]).

3. Food Processing, Nutrition Hysteria, and Gut Cleansing

• How the Sausage (And Noodles) Are Made: A tangent on processed foods leading to a tongue-in-cheek challenge—should Bryan and Krissy get colonics and report it for the show? ([13:35])
  • “I just want to see what’s stuck in my gullet, what’s stuck in my guts.” – Bryan ([14:03])
• Cleanses vs. Fasts: Skepticism about extreme diets and cleanses, referencing a friend who becomes unbearable during his annual 30-day lemon juice cleanse ([14:35]).

4. Oprah, Ozempic, and the Evolution of Weight Loss

• Oprah’s Ozempic Special: Bryan breaks down Oprah’s special on weight loss drugs and her shift from championing Weight Watchers to acknowledging the importance of “fighting physiology.” ([15:07])
  • “Your mind is geared toward making you eat more… eat fattier, eat richer, eat sugarier.” – Bryan ([16:40])
• A New Weight Loss Paradigm: Discussion about Weight Watchers adapting to pharmacology, the pros/cons, and the growing market for these medications ([18:19]).
• Personal Caution: Bryan expresses hesitancy about Ozempic due to its novelty ([19:03]).

5. Sriracha Scandal – Why Does It Taste Different Now?

• Sriracha Shortage & Lawsuit: They discuss the huey fong factory drama, court battle over chili pepper suppliers, and claims that modern rooster sauce tastes different ([21:56]).
  • “It’s a totally different product just based on this one ingredient changing.” – Bryan ([24:13])
• Changing Palates: Krissy and Bryan muse on evolving tastes and the Covid effect on flavor ([24:16]).

6. Parenting Woes – Why Kids Want Anything But Toys

• Bryan shares a story of his toddler forsaking toys for a mouthful of Camellia flowers, proving that kids prefer “forbidden objects” to expensive presents ([34:13]).
  • “Don’t even bother with toys...They are literally trying to put plugs in their mouth.” – Bryan ([34:56])
• The existential thanklessness of parenting is summed up with biting humor:
  • "If you’re looking for thanks, don’t have a kid because they never say those words..." – Bryan ([36:04])

7. Wild Inheritance: The Case of the Lamborghini Love Child

• The DNA Drama: Bryan recounts a headline about Flavia Borzoni, who used a discarded straw from her alleged half-sister to claim her share of the Lamborghini fortune ([38:18]).
  • “Why am I waiting around for a $50 million Spotify contract… when I could just be the illegitimate son of... It doesn’t have to be Lamborghini.” – Bryan ([41:18])
• Ethical Tangents: They joke about secretly being heirs to fortunes, speculate about DNA privacy, and muse on 23andme paranoia ([43:02] and [49:11]).
  • “I have never been so sure that my dad is actually my dad… I’m thinking I’m an heir to some fortune that I just haven’t learned yet.” – Bryan ([44:10])

8. The “Charity Case” of Podcasting

• Monetization Meltdown: A running gag about creating a Patreon or GoFundMe campaign “not to give you free content, but to stop doing it.” ([45:12])
  • “For the price of a cup of coffee a day, you can keep me off air.” – Bryan ([45:27])
  • “The commercial break is the definition of charity.” – Krissy ([45:05])
• Existential podcaster angst: “If you haven’t made it by 500, just stop...Never gonna make any money at this stupid thing.” – Bryan ([47:55])
• Cheesecake Factory Sidebar: Brief musings on Kanye reportedly frequenting the Cheesecake Factory twice in two weeks ([49:52]).

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Notable Quotes & Moments

• On Ballpark Food:

  • “I can't go to a game without getting a hot dog. And now because fuck Atlanta, am Holman and Finch burger...Unbelievable, juicy, melty, just as delicious. Artery clogging…” – Bryan ([01:44])

• On Parenting:

  • “Don’t even bother with toys...Anything that is not a toy is the thing you play with.” – Bryan ([34:56])
  • “If you’re looking for thanks, don’t have a kid...” – Bryan ([36:04])

• On Food Realities:

  • “If you want to be cleared of your hot dog hangover, this is the way to do it. Go look at this picture. Absolutely horrifying what that stuff looks like when it's not wrapped in a hot dog sheath…” – Bryan ([06:50])

• On DNA & Wild Inheritance Claims:

  • “Daddy, Daddy Flavia, it’s me, Brian…I won’t bother you. Couple million dollars. It’s all good. You got a lot of money, dad. You didn’t have to change no pee pee. No poo poo… All I want is a couple million dollars and I will go away.” – Bryan ([43:07])

• On the Podcast Hustle:

  • “We want Patreon not to give you free content, but to stop doing it.” – Bryan ([45:12])

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Episode Structure & Timestamps

• Food Deep Dive (Hot Dogs, H&F Burgers, Childhood meals): [00:00–13:00]
• Processed Foods, Ramen, Cleanse/Colonics Tangent: [13:01–15:00]
• Oprah & Ozempic Special Recap: [15:07–19:49]
• Sriracha Controversy: [20:30–25:00]
• Seasonal Atlanta Weather & Ballpark Memories: [25:01–32:20]
• Parenting Silliness (Flowers, Toys, Thanklessness): [32:20–37:28]
• Lamborghini Inheritance Drama & DNA Ethics: [38:18–46:39]
• Podcast as “Charity” & Existential Anguish: [46:39–49:52]
• Cheesecake Factory, Final Bits, Show Wrap: [49:52–End]

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Tone & Style

Unfiltered, self-aware, irreverent, frequently veering into wild, digressive tangents. The episode carries a tone of exaggerated exasperation, sly nostalgia, and meta-humor about podcasting itself. Bryan and Krissy’s long friendship fuels their ability to riff on anything, making even mundane topics feel ripe for comedy.

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For longtime fans, this episode is classic TCB: meandering, absurd, and chaotically charming. For new listeners, it’s a riotous window into an unpolished, hilariously honest friendship — one that will have you side-eyeing ballpark hot dogs, questioning your food choices, and maybe swabbing a stranger’s straw, just in case you, too, are an heir to a secret fortune.

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Transcript

[A]

Oh, gonna swing from the chandelier, from the chandelier. On this episode of the commercial break, if you're looking for thanks, don't have a kid because they never say those words. They don't say thank you. Occasionally they say I love you. They're good at hugging, they're fun to play with, but they're not going to say thank you for anything. And they're only going to complain about what they don't have. And then you try and take that, you know, vacuum plug out of their mouth and they throw a holy fucking shit fit. You give them the thousand dollar toy you just bought them and they throw it off to the side and say, look, daddy doggy poo poo. Pee pee poo poo. The next episode of the commercial break starts now. Oh, yeah. Cats and kittens, welcome back to the commercial break. I'm Brian Green. This is my dear friend and the beautiful co host of this show, Kristen Joy Hoadley. Best to you, Kristen.

[B]

Best to you, Brian.

[A]

Best to you out there in the podcast universe. Thanks for joining us. Do you like a good hot. I love a good hot dog. Oh, yeah, I love a good hot dog. Especially those ballpark hot dogs. Goddamn motherfucking fucking fuck. Because I know that they're probably the worst kind of hot dogs available to known to man.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And hot dogs aren't exactly.

[B]

Are you at the ballpark or the ballpark brand?

[A]

No. You know, I can never seem to find the exact same same tasting. No hot dog at the ballpark. I've tried them all. I've tried ballpark. I've tried them all. All of them. And even Nathan's Famous. And none of them taste like a ballpark hot dog at the ballpark.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

It just doesn't taste the same.

[B]

So good. You have to get one.

[A]

They're so you can't go to a. I can't go to a game without getting a hot dog. And now because fuck Atlanta, am Holman and Finch burger. The H and F burger. Yeah. Which is just incredible. Listen, I know I said Culver's is the best burger that I've ever had or that the one in Memphis and the 100-year-old fry grease, but throw in there, just for consideration, H and F burger at truest field. Unbelievable, juicy, melty, just as delicious. Artery clogging as you can get. And it's lovely. It's delicious. Yeah. And do you know how those burgers started? Do you know? Little side note, H and F is short for holman and finch, which is A restaurant here in Atlanta, Holman and Finch is a very small restaurant on Peachtree street, you know, one of the 50 Peachtree streets that we have. But the artery running through downtown Atlanta, they have such a small little bar and then a small little dining area. They were serving, like, fine dining cuisine, like, you know, very avant garde, very cutting edge, you know, on the trend food, which in and of itself got a lot of accolades and attention.

[B]

Yeah, it was very good, Very good.

[A]

But at night, they would keep the bar open a little bit later. And when they kept that bar open, they were finding that the patrons really wanted something to eat, but the kitchen was closed. And so patrons were, like, going elsewhere for food. And so the owner of the business said, you know what, rather than go for food, you know what I'll do? I'll make 20 burgers a night, I think, is what it was. Just make 20 of them. That way I'm not, you know, making too many of them. Yeah, if you need a little munchie, here you go. You know, whoever, whatever you person is hungry, give them a burger, charge them $15, whatever it is. Those burgers quickly became the thing that everybody wanted. And for a while, you could only.

[B]

Get them at late night.

[A]

That's it. Like after midnight or something like that, or after 10. I don't remember what it was. But you had to be there at the prescribed time because if you didn't get one of the 20 burgers, you were. And. And these burgers were good enough to wait in the bar for. And I did it on a couple of occasions.

[B]

Yeah, me too.

[A]

And then they expanded, and then they have H and F burgers like that just do burgers. And one of the places you can find this is at Truest park here in Atlanta. It is. They are so delicious. I don't know how they do it. I just don't know. They may. Homemade ketchup, little bit of mayo Mac, you know, the melty, juicy cheese that everybody wants, you know, on a smashed, like, bun. It's delicious.

[B]

It is. It's like just the right amount. And I, you know. You know, you read so many chefs that have different prescriptions, if you will, of the. The. A little bit of brisket, a little bit of chuck, a little bit of this sirloin. You know, there's this whole combination that. That people. And I've tried it, but, God, they hit it. I don't know what it is.

[A]

I think I got real close to the Culver's burger, the butter burger. And I think I told you the secret is a ton of butter.

[B]

Butter.

[A]

Yeah, that's what the secret is. A ton of butter. Then it's just butter and beef and it's delicious. And then you put some American cheese on there, like the nastiest kind of cheese you can buy at the store. Fucking delicious. But H and F burgers and a hot dog and I just can't seem to find that hot dog anywhere outside of a ballpark. Now maybe it's that they, you know, keep the water the same for the entire season. I'm not sure. But whatever it is, it is amazeballs, those hot dogs. But to totally gross you out, when you look at the ingredients that are actually inside of a hot dog, it should dissuade anyone from ever eating one again. You and I think that I told you I have read and they make these posts like, you know, I'm a doctor and these are five things I want everyone to know. Or I'm a fireman and this is five things I want everyone to know. There's this like, you know, thing going on on Instagram and TikTok. I have seen now multiple doctors, cardiologists say, I'm a doctor. These are five things I never, I would never eat again. And hot dog is almost exclusively at the top of the list because it's just full of fudgeing shit.

[B]

Oh yeah.

[A]

That's all it is. Like the remnants, it's the remnants of the pig. And you don't even want to know the innards. This. It's how the sausage is made.

[B]

You don't want to know how it's made.

[A]

Everything else that that's not goes in, that doesn't go in the sausage goes in the hot dog. Right. So whenever you're looking at a sausage being made, just think of all the other stuff that they didn't put in there. And then that's a hot dog. And they've been around forever. And everybody that I know loves a good hot dog every once in a while.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But I'm getting to the point now where unless it's at a ballpark, you know, sometimes the hot dogs start to gross me out a little bit. I'm like, well, should I really be eating this? It's like it's. They've mind fucked me now. I'm like, should I be eating? Does it really taste as good as I think it does? Yes, it does. And, and I want that. But what I saw the other day on news article that is like 612 months old now, but I saw the Picture in Philly, a One of those trucks that carries liquids and. And slushy solids. You know, one of those round trucks, like a gas. Looks like a gas truck. Big aluminum gas truck. Right. But it's actually carrying the innards of the hot dog.

[B]

Really?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

They were transported around like that.

[A]

That's how they do it. It's just one big glob of meat that then they. Into the shell of the hot dog. I don't know, but that. That thing spilled over. And I am telling you what, if you want to be cleared of your hot dog hangover, this is the way to do it. Go look at this picture. It is absolutely horrifying what that stuff looks like when it's not wrapped in a hot dog sheath or whatever they call them.

[B]

Casing.

[A]

Casing. When it's sheath, like it's a sword. Yeah. When it's not in its hot dog condom. You should see what it looks like because it is not good and it does not look great. Look at me using the two fingers like Frankie. It is not good. It is not great. It is actually the opposite of whatever you think is, like digestible, palatable.

[B]

Not going to look at it.

[A]

I know. Don't look at it. Because if you like. Do you guys cook hot dogs at home?

[B]

No.

[A]

No. Never. You never buy hot dogs? Never cook them at home. You always go out?

[B]

Well, I mean, the only time I eat a hot dog is at the ballpark.

[A]

Yeah, Is at the ballpark. That's all. Yeah, that's it. Well, good for you.

[B]

I've learned. Yeah.

[A]

Okay. See, you're doing it right. I'm not. We buy now.

[B]

We don't have kids, though.

[A]

Yeah. So like the hot dogs.

[B]

Yeah. The small kids like the hot dogs.

[A]

Think about when you're hot dogs and a little Mac and cheese. You know, your mom and dad say it's cheese, pasta, and meat. It's got all the food groups in it. My mom to cook that all the time. It's one of the five dishes my mom actually could cook. I mean, my mom's a lovely lady, but I think she'll even tell you herself, she was no Chef Boyardee in the kitchen. It was like five meals that we got. We got Hamburger Helper, we got tacos, we got stew.

[B]

I love a good taco night.

[A]

I love good taco night. I love a good taco night. And I don't care what it do that tonight.

[B]

Maybe it's not Tuesday, but that's okay.

[A]

Well, do taco. Whatever day is it, you know, okay. Break it. Break the. Break the tradition.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You know, I love a good taco night, too. And I don't care how hard somebody else tries to convince me, but that olay taco seasoning is the way to go. It's all there for you. Throw it into ground beef and just go for it. It tastes delicious. You know, Astrid makes her own, like olay stuff and it's almost, Almost the olay. It's missing one thing. We can't figure it out. Right? But just go buy those 10 cent packages and throw it in there. Tacos. So then she made. Then my mom made stew, and then she had Mac and cheese and hot dogs, which is not necessarily a meal. It's just two really microwavable things placed together. Yes. And so when I was a kid, it was like one of five things. And I didn't mind the hot dogs and the macaroni and cheese. For some reason, those two disparate pieces of shit foods go together lovely. But now let me tell you what really got my. Let me tell you the most disgusting thing.

[B]

Oh.

[A]

That you're ever gonna hear someone actually put in their mouth. And it was me. And I made it all the time. Are you ready?

[B]

This is when I think so.

[A]

It's when I was married, previously married. I would get ramen noodles, two or three pack. You know, I get a bunch of them. Get those packets, those beef packets is the one that I like, or the chipotle beef or whatever. I go, I'd get them. I'd cook two packets at a time. I'd then put in a ton of Mexican cheese. Mix it up. Right now it's all like, gloppy and weird. Then I put some sour cream in it. Then I would put some hot sauce on top of that. And then I had to have something crunchy to go in there. So I'd either put some Fritos or some tortilla chips, or if I was out of Fritos and tortilla chips, I'd go ahead and put some crackers in there, like saltine crackers. And I ate that probably every night for 12 years. I don't know how long I ate it for.

[B]

I ate it for the ramen noodles, though.

[A]

Ramen noodles. So back to the pig innards. I then saw quickly after that, as I was going down my food rabbit hole, I was like, okay, how are other foods made? And then I landed on an Instagram reel that showed you how ramen noodles were made. And let me tell you what, it came really close to Being just as disgusting as the pig innards. And I'm not even kidding you, those aren't noodles. I don't know what they are, but they are certainly not noodles. It is not a noodle. It is something else altogether. At least what I saw. It was like a gloppy mixture, like a weird consistency, like a gelatin almost that then they pushed, you know, through a machine. They put some stuff in, they mixed it up, added some seasoning and then out came the ramen noodles in the little package they had. I always assumed we were eating noodles.

[B]

That's why they're so cheap.

[A]

Maybe that is why they're so cheap. Cuz you think about it like, could you really make pasta for 10 cents a package? No. How many. Have you eaten a lot of ramen noodles in your life? Yeah. A ton of ramen noodles. Ton of ramen noodles. It is a staple of anyone that is under the age of 25 years.

[B]

Old trying to make it the way you were eating it. I was eating it with the little flavor packets.

[A]

But did you, did you like your soupy? No. No. Okay. I know people who like it soupy.

[B]

You know I like it. Yeah.

[A]

And then I've been to these ramen places, you know what I'm saying? And it's fine. It's fine. It's a ramen places are fine. But like a lot of things in life, you get used to eating the worst version of that and then you can't go back. Yeah. And all of a sudden decide that your palate is a discernible palette. It's not. I like the ramen noodles. I like the gloppy that comes out of there with sour cream, lots of cheese, hot sauce and fucking saltines.

[B]

Don't get me started doing in a way like a taco salad but with ramen noodles.

[A]

That's what I thought. My ex wife didn't think the same, but that's what I thought. She thought I was absolutely disgusting. But this would be my late night snack for a while. That's why I weighed 70 pounds more than I do right now too. It's because I was eating it. The truth is we do not know. Most of us don't know how the sausage is made, how the food that we eat is made.

[B]

That's true.

[A]

And as I'm getting a little older, I'm getting a little bit more curious. It might be too late for me. Might be too late for me, kids. I might just. I'm just might be dead on the inside and I. And I might not have anything else to give. But for you younger folks, I'm just sharing with you. Find out how the sausage is made. That is what you need to do. Because you put all this stuff in your body, it tastes delicious. It's all. It's all gravy when it's going down your gullet. But then what is it doing to the inside of you do? Because it turns back into that glop once it gets into your stomach. And then what is that glop doing to you? It's getting stuck on the inside of your inner. You know, that's why. Good. You know, colon blow every once in a while is a good thing. Yeah. We should go do. You and I should go do a colonic. A colonic, high colonic together. And then we'll record our experiences on a phone.

[B]

I'd be up for it.

[A]

Would you be up for that?

[B]

Yeah. I've never had one.

[A]

Let's do that. Let's do it. And then let's. Let's broadcast the results here. We could actually be like eyewitness news reporters in each other's high colonics. We can report on what's going on.

[B]

No, I don't want you in mine.

[A]

Well, you know, we'll put a sheet up or something. We'll get you in those stirrups, and we'll put a sheet up like you're having a baby.

[B]

Great. Anything for the show.

[A]

Anything for the show. We need content. Yeah, we need content. I just want to see what comes out. I want to be like. I mean, not really. I hate poop. I hate it. But I just want to see what's stuck in my gullet, what's stuck in my guts. You know, every once in a while, you got to clean that out.

[B]

It seems like it. It's a good idea.

[A]

So much better than a fast, which takes work and, you know, they got to do stuff. And I think those things are terrible for you, those fasts. I. I'm convinced they're terrible for you.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Your body is not meant to go through 30 days of just lemon juice. You know what I'm saying?

[B]

It can't be good for you. Yeah.

[A]

Cannot be good for you. And we have a friend who does this for 30 days at a time.

[B]

I know how to do it.

[A]

He's so angry, too. Like, by the second week.

[B]

Yeah. You're hangry.

[A]

Yeah, he's fudgeing mad. He's mad at everybody. I don't like to be around him when he's doing his cleanses, whenever he Says he's doing his cleanses. I'm like, I'll call you a couple weeks next month. Exactly. He does it like in February or March or something. I don't even think I've talked to him this month. And I'm not going to because I don't want to hear it. I don't want to hear how angry you are because you didn't eat any food. Speaking of food, did you catch the Oprah special on Ozempic? No.

[B]

I saw that that was an option to watch, but I haven't watched it.

[A]

You should watch it.

[B]

I checked it.

[A]

Yeah. I caught like 30, 45 minutes of it. I thought it was a very, I want to say balance. But it's clear that Oprah is convinced this is right for her. So I think it's hard to be 100% impartial. So for those of you that don't know, Oprah bought a large share of Weight Watchers, became the brand ambassador and also the chairman of the board, I think, or had a board seat.

[B]

Right.

[A]

And she had a ton of shares, like, a ton, like millions of shares of Weight Watchers. And she, like, as she tells it, was convinced that Weight Watchers was the way to go. She had been on this lifelong journey battling her.

[B]

It does work for some people.

[A]

It does work for some people. It's. My mom was in Weight Watchers, and for years, it. It worked wonders for her. But the challenge is, and as someone on this special put it, it's like you can count the calories, you can do the exercise, but one piece that's always been missing, and that we now are starting to understand a little bit more clearly, is that you're fighting against your physiology, which is really difficult to do because your body wants you to eat. You have to do it multiple times per day in order just to survive. And so it's really difficult to tell your physiology. No, it's literally trying to overcome your own positive thoughts about, you know, counting the calories and staying in shape and all this. Your mind is geared toward telling, toward making you eat more. You know, eat fattier, eat richer, eat sugarier.

[B]

Right. Which has been through evolution because you used to. Food used to be scarce.

[A]

Yeah. But there's a lot of different reasons. And why so many people fail at weight loss is because you can do it for a period of time. But how can you. Can you really swim up that stream every single, you know, day and night for the rest of your life? And so, as Oprah puts it, this is a way to Fight the physiology. This is a way to correct the physiology, the part that actually makes you want to do it. And so they talk about the good sides and the bad sides. And she actually divested of every one of her Weight Watcher shares and gave them to a charity. Yeah, she didn't even cash out. She just gave them to a charity and said, here you go. Because if I'm going to do this special, one hour long or two hour long, however long it was special. About these medications, we go via Ozempic and these, you know, diabetes medications that are now working wonders for people who want to lose weight. If they are doing. If I am doing this special, I do not want one bit. I don't want it to seem at all like there is a conflict of interest. And the only way to do that is to go ahead and put Weight Watchers aside, resign from the board, give the shares away, and then I could be totally impartial or seemingly totally impartial about it. And the Weight Watchers new CEO came on and said, hey, listen, we are now changing the way that we think about weight loss at Weight Watchers. Yes, you should count the calories. Yes, you should have a community of people who are trying to help you and be positive and stay strong and all that. All those things still in play. But now there's a third prong, and that third prong is physiology. We can help fight physiology. They just bought a company that is going to produce this. A certain type of.

[B]

I saw that, too. And I saw that there's a whole market now, too, for people that are on these. The drugs that, that they're catering to. So, like, you know, shakes and things and whatever that you're supposed to help keep you nutritious. Yeah, because a lot of people could just eat pretzels all day. I mean.

[A]

Yeah, you just eat a couple pretzels and then feel full. Yeah, yeah. And there's a lot of nightmare stories about that out there about we go via Ozempic and all that. And, and I've talked about it here on the show maybe once or twice, and I just don't know that there's enough information to feel safe about taking those medications. I mean, I personally don't feel like I would take those medications, but I do feel for people who do struggle with their weight. And, you know, however you got to do it, you got to do it. That's your own journey. That's your own personal.

[B]

Talk to your doctor about it.

[A]

Yeah, I personally feel like it's. It's not Clear enough that, like, no one's been taking this for 30 years and been like, yeah, it's all good. I feel great. You know, when we get to that point 10 years from now, then if I, you know, if I need to, maybe I'll. I'll have that consideration. But I thought it was very interesting thing for Oprah to do.

[B]

Yeah, I'm gonna watch it.

[A]

She doesn't do many shows anymore. No. And, or at all. And so when she does a show, I feel like it carries some weight. As a kid of an Oprah mom, I feel like it carries some weight.

[B]

She does. She does carry weight.

[A]

Yeah, she does. Oh, it shouldn't carry weight anymore. In the morning. All right, we'll stop grossing you out during your breakfast or your lunch or your dinner, and we'll be back.

[C]

Well, thank the baby Jesus. Brian took a breath. And now I will use this opportunity to let you know that we've got a brand new phone number. That's right. It's 212-4333, TCB. And you can text us anytime you want, or you can call and leave us a voicemail. And we might just use your message on the show once Brian gets through all the messages he missed last year. Of course. Anyway, you can also find and DM us on Instagram, hecommercial break and on TikTok, CBpodcast. And of course, all of our audio and video is easily found on tcb podcast.com. now, I'm going to thank G one more time that we have sponsors. So thank G. And here they are.

[A]

Okay, let's stay on the food theme. Sriracha. Do you like it? Do you not like it?

[B]

Love it.

[A]

Does it taste different to you now than it did before?

[B]

No. I mean, no.

[A]

Do you use it, like, on a regular basis?

[B]

Yeah, not every day, but like once.

[A]

A week, twice a week, something like that. Okay. You put it on your foods you love. Sriracha. Like the original Sriracha. Sriracha? Is that how you say it? Huyu, Huey foods. Huey Fong Sriracha.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Okay, this kind in this bottle. Okay. All right.

[B]

So rooster sauce.

[A]

Rooster, yeah, that's right.

[B]

Got a rooster on it.

[A]

I love hot sauce. Not. This is not my favorite hot sauce, so I don't keep it around. But on occasion, if it's out there somewhere and, you know, I'll throw it on, whatever, if it's available. But there is such a big kerfuffle going on on the Internet about rooster sauce and the kerfuffle. Is this during the pandemic. If you remember, Hui Fong. Hui Fong had a. Like, a factory somewhere near San Francisco, and that factory was causing people around them to get sick because all the burning peppers or whatever they were doing, the spices and the sauces and the smoke and the steam that came out of the factory was causing people to get irritated. And so they had a big.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

Do you remember this? Okay, so the neighbors got up in arms, and they changed the way they did things and, you know, settled things down. But now they have gotten into a dispute with their chili pepper.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Distributor or provider?

[B]

Provider, yeah.

[A]

Like a big dispute. A dispute to the point where they don't get the same peppers that they used to from the same farm that they used to. And the. The farm has said, hey, listen, we would love to sell these to you if you guys would just pay this bill that you owe us, whatever that bill is.

[B]

Right, yeah. They've been in business together for a.

[A]

Long time, like, I think since they came to America, if I. If I'm understanding correct, for, like, 32 years or something. So they get in this dispute. Now it's in court. But the. The farm says, hey, we want you to do business with us. But Hui Fong says, no, we're not doing business with you, based on whatever. I don't want to get into every detail about the case. Then there are people, a lot of food writers, a lot of people on the Internet, Reddit, Instagram, all this other stuff. They are saying it just doesn't taste the same. It's not as spicy as it used to be. It's a more mild, kind of sweeter version of the hot sauce that we love, and we desperately want our old sriracha back. We need it.

[B]

Yeah. Because the flavor is the thing for me.

[A]

The flavor, I love it. Yeah, the flavor. But then the heat, like, a little tingly. It's like if you never had sriracha. If you're not a hot sauce fan, Tabasco is heat. That is heat. It's got a little bit of flavor, a lot of heat. Sriracha is a lot of flavor. Little bit of heat. Right. It's not the hottest thing you've ever put in your mouth. It's pretty accessible as far as hot sauces are concerned. That's my impression of it. But if it doesn't taste the same as it always has, then I can see why people are getting upset.

[B]

Sure.

[A]

So I thought to myself, why don't I go and get some sriracha and see if it tastes the Same as it did.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

So I did. I went to a local restaurant where I knew that they were serving sriracha right down the street, and I went and ordered a taco. And then I put the sriracha on. And then I also just put some sriracha on my finger and tasted it because they had the bottles right there at the table. Yeah, it doesn't taste the same, in my opinion. It doesn't taste the same. It's a totally different product just based on this one ingredient changing. It's a totally different product than it was before. And like, this disappoints me because while I'm not like the world's biggest rooster sauce fan, I did like the rooster sauce on occasion. And now I don't know. Maybe it's in my brain, maybe I read about it. And so therefore, I'm not like, I'm prepared for something to taste different and sweeter. That's a fucked up thing about tastes.

[B]

You know, Tastes and smell and they change, I think. Don't your tastes change?

[A]

My taste buds change all the time. Sometimes I'm into cream and cereal, and sometimes I'm into ramen noodles with lots of cheese and sour cream. It just depends. One of those two things I do think tastes change.

[B]

Yeah. As you get older.

[A]

When you had Covid, didn't you say that you couldn't taste anything? I did not experience that. But for maybe a day. Yeah, like a day or two. I experienced that, but I didn't experience it for extended periods of time, but Astor did. And lots of people that I know did have your taste. Strange feeling if your taste changed since then.

[B]

They're back.

[A]

They're back.

[B]

Yeah. And I don't. I mean, I don't think they've really changed from what they were before.

[A]

Very interesting. Chrissy, do you think if you went to the ballpark and had a hot dog, you would taste the anuses the same way?

[B]

I think we need to go again.

[A]

This is. Oh, we're going to go to a game. That's for sure. We're going to go to a Braves game. Day. Game, yeah. Three o' clock in the afternoon.

[B]

Businessman special.

[A]

Businessman special. We're going to sit there and sweat with all the other guys. Seeing a game in the day in Atlanta is like torture.

[B]

We do need to go soon because it's gonna get hot.

[A]

Well, yeah, we'll go opening day and the first 10 games after that. Perfectly lovely weather. This is. We are experiencing right now fake spring number two. In Atlanta, we had fake spring number One, we talked about it. Then we had a cold snap for, like, five days. It got cold again, like, at night. There was a freeze warning. That's crazy. And now we're back into fake spring. Number two. We're gonna have one more small cold snap.

[B]

Yep, we are.

[A]

And then we'll be into spring. We'll be into two weeks a year where the weather is perfectly pleasant. And then it goes to holy hot.

[B]

Yes, it does.

[A]

It goes to wipe your flop sweat off on everybody else, because that's what's coming. And that's. That's. That's just what you get when you live here in Atlanta. So if you go to those day games, you got to be really hungry to eat one of those hot dogs. You know what I'm saying? Because it's like, holy.

[B]

Put the sunscreen on.

[A]

Oh, yeah, you do. And, you know, it's. It's. I guess it's part of the, you know, allure of going. Going to a businessman special. Is the mat. Part of the magic. Sweating your balls off. I mean, get to July, and it doesn't matter what time the game is. You're sweating. You're just miserable. I will never forget that one time when you and I were working for the Braves. I was meeting this lady, like a girl that I wanted to date there. A girl that I was dating.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But we hadn't been dating for long, and I came after work with my, you know, shirt on, slacks on, dress shoes on, and I never went on another date with this girl again. And I'll tell you, I know the reason why. Not that I smelled sweaty, but that I was just drenched. Yes, I'm nervous about the date. I'm nervous how it's going. It's 107 fudgeing degrees outside. You know, the first hour and a half of the game, the sun's just beating right on your fucking forehead. And it didn't matter how much beer I drank, and I drank a lot of beer. It didn't matter how much beer I drank. I could not get cool. It could not cool me down. So here I am, a drunk, hot, sweaty mess. And then I also got into a. It started to rain later on in the game, and I got into a fight with somebody in the stands. I almost got kicked out if it wasn't for that pass I had around me. Yes, somebody put their umbrella up, right? Listen, it's raining. It's like drizzling, right? So it's raining, but they haven't called the game yet. They haven't Actually had an intermission for the game yet. So everybody has scattered under the. The large, you know, Overhang. Overhang, yeah. That were available at Turner Field, but there's just a few of us that are sitting like, you know, kind of right behind the dugout kind of thing. And there's a few of us. So you could have sat anywhere you wanted to, because everybody was leaving or up in the covered area in this jack hole that's right in front of us. Him and the guy that he's with, they put up their umbrellas right in. Right in front of.

[B]

Yeah, that's rude.

[A]

Can't see a fucking thing. The umbrellas are, like, you know, scraping against our knees and our bellies because, you know, the seats are tightly packed.

[B]

Yes, I know. How could you even do that?

[A]

So I say, hey, man, do me a favor. Can you move up a couple rows? And he goes, fuck you. And I was like, what did you say? And he goes, fuck you. And I go, it's raining. There are no. There's nobody here. Nobody cares. Can you move up a few rows? And he says, you move back a few rows. And, wow, I was just, like, taken aback at how abrasive the guy rose right off the bat. And so I took. I grabbed his umbrella and I threw. And I threw it. And he stood up so quick. And the security was right on it. Right on it. They. Because we're the only ones in the fucking stands so he could see what's going on. And so two security guards come rushing. Hey. You know. And this guy's like, up in my face. Fuck you. Fuck you, man. Fucking go get that umbrella. Put it back in my fucking hand. And I'm like, fuck you. Take that umbrella down a few rows. You know, blah, blah, blah. Meanwhile, I'm representing the Braves, I have a pass, and here I am throwing umbrellas around the ballpark.

[B]

I can't imagine why you didn't get back out with the girl.

[A]

She didn't. I thought I was being, like, chivalrous. I thought I was like, see, I'll defend our honor and our right game unobstructed. But it didn't turn out like that because she. She never. I don't think we ever texted again, to be quite frank with you.

[B]

Yeah, it was for the best.

[A]

Yeah. But I'll tell you what, the rain cooled me right off. I was already. I was already drenched, but I loved it when it rained. I was like, yeah, the rain, the rain, the rain. Hell, yeah. And, you know, that's just what you get here In Atlanta, you get the hot. You get the rain. Then you get the really cold, cold weather that happens for, like, you know, a month and a half a year. And we're in this beautiful time of year right now.

[B]

Everything's blooming, skies are blue. You know, it's. You want to roll the window down and drive.

[A]

Oh, and if it rains, you want to open the window and let the rain. I mean, secondary only to sleeping with the door open or the windows open at the beach is let it rain. Little thunder rumbling in the background. Pop open the window.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

Let that rain tipple tapple and just put you right to slee. It does. Yeah. That little tipple taple rain weather. It's nap weather now. I wish I could take a nap, but even just the ability just to sit there and, like, you know, kind of zone out for a minute, like, it was, I don't know, a couple weeks ago, it was raining. It was nice outside. You know, I. I opened the windows that don't have screens on them. And so my kids like to pop out, you know, and look out. You have to be careful that they don't fall out, you know, the whole nine yards. And it's. It's raining, and the kids are just like three of them just lined up in this window, standing, just staring out. And I was sitting on the bed, and I was like, yeah, this is the life. I wish. I wish our life could be like this all the time. I wish all 15 children were staring out this window, and we were all just, you know, hanging out, listening to the rain was one. It was a thing that my dad did when I was a kid that I never lost. When a storm would roll through in Chicago, we had the station wagon with the pop down, right? The pop down. Like the gate that popped down, it could open or it could pop down. And so he would pop down that gate. He would put on the radio scanner to see if, you know, lightning struck and the fire trucks were going. So he'd be listening to the police scanner to see if, you know, there's action in the area or whatever. My dad's a little weird like that, but we would sit in the garage, legs dangling on that thing, and just watch the rain for hours. It was one of my favorite things in the world. I just love it. It was soothing. It was calm. Now that I have children, I understand that my dad was just desperately trying to get some peace and fucking quiet, honestly. So the nice weather's here, and one of the things that we have done for the Last number of years is that when the weather is nice like this or even when it's summertime, after dinner we'll open the front door, we'll go out and play under this covered porch that we have or in the little dirt grass area, the weeds, whatever you call them. Right, the weedy area, whatever that is.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And then we have this big. I don't know if it's a rose bush or what it is, but it's that it has those big pink flowers. Look at it. In the corner of my house. And when you leave.

[B]

Yeah, no, it's Camilla.

[A]

Oh, it's Camilla.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Okay, so Camilla flowers. So we have these big Camilla flowers. So now we have the baby who's just learned how to walk, right. And she's walking on her own, but she's going very slow, one footed, you know, moving her whole body shifting from one side to the other to walk. You know, the stiff legs. Yeah. And so last night, dinner finishes, I go to take the trash out. Kids want to go outside. I play music, they dance under the, under the covered roof. You know, everyone's in their pajamas and you know, it's like 5:15 and everyone's in their pajamas, right. And so the kids are playing and I bring the baby outside, I put her on the walkway and she's just walk. She's having the best time walking around, you know, giggling, talking to herself, the whole nine yards. She loved it, dancing. You know, she had like a little shuffle, throwing her arms up in the air. And then the, some of the bigger kids are out playing in the weeds. That I call the weeds might, you might refer to as grass. It's weeds. And so they're playing in the weeds, but one of them kind of drifts off a little bit too far. So I, I go out and you know, I'm like, hey dude, you know, we can't go out of here. Let's go out here and there for like, I don't know, two, three minutes. I'm just kind of chatting with the older kids, thinking that the baby can't get far. She doesn't even, she barely knows how to walk, Right. She never put her foot in grass. She's not going to be that brave and just go step in grass. He's a whole different texture, Right. Well, I turn around, baby's gone. And I'm like, what? Astrid must have grabbed her. You know, I go, door's still open. Blue's sitting there. Thanks Blue, for doing nothing, you know, normally. Yeah, normally she's barking. Yeah. And Honestly, she's so good with the kids that sometimes she'll like heard them in a certain way. Like, especially if she thinks there's danger she'll hurt. But anyway, not there. So I run around the front of the house and I'm like, oh my God. I run around the front of the house and she is at the Camilla bush and she has got a mouth full of Camilla flowers.

[B]

Oh my God.

[A]

It's just in her mouth. Just imagine like a big old, you know, 4 inch circumference Camilla flower just, she's just got a mouth full of it. She's like, she's trying to pull it off with her teeth. I'm like, what are you doing, kid? First of all, how did you get all the way over here? How did you walk through the dirt and rocks to get all the way over here, first of all? Second of all, why do you have a mouthful of Camilla bush? What are you doing? She would not let it go, Chrissy. I pick her up, she's still got it in her mouth. She's like yanking the Camilla bush off her thing. She loved it. She thought it was the best thing in the world. If I had known this, I wouldn't have bothered with all the expensive formula. I would just put some Camilla bush in water and let her drink it up. It was crazy.

[B]

Or the millions of toys.

[A]

Oh my God. Forget about the toys. Don't even bother parents, new parents, don't even bother with toys. Just wait. When you have your kid, there's gonna be a lot of people are gonna buy you a lot of stuff. Don't bother with toys. And here's why I'm gonna explain. You need a few things. You need like a shaker, a rattler, a little pad for them to play on and maybe some dingly dangly things. Everything else, forget about it. Because the second that you give them that toy, they get so excited and three seconds later they forgot that the toy even exists. And they are literally trying to put plugs in their mouth. That's what happens. Scissors, plugs, paperclips, tacks, broken glass, dog poop, dog pee, it doesn't matter. Anything that is not a toy is the thing you play with. And everything that is a toy is the thing you cannot play with. It is incredible. I have toys in there. I. There's a million toys in that toy room. I have toys in there that I bought those kids and I was so excited because I knew this is the one. This is the toy they're gonna love. And they're gonna play with. And they have yet to touch it for more than three seconds yet. And then they come to me and they're like, I'm fine.

[B]

I want an app on the iPad. My nephews are the same way. They've just got millions of toys and.

[A]

Man, how do we get these kids to like, you know, have a little gratitude? That's what I want. Have a little gratitude. Daddy spent a lot of money on that. He thought hard on that president. You don't like it. If you're looking for, if you're looking for thanks, don't have a kid because they never say those words. They don't say thank you. Occasionally they say I love you. They're good at hugging, they're fun to play with, but they're not going to say thank you for anything. And they're only going to complain about what they don't have. And then you try and take that, you know, vacuum plug out of their mouth and they throw a holy fucking shit fit. You give them the thousand dollar toy you just bought them and they throw it off to the side and say, look, daddy, doggy poo. Poo, Pee, pee. Poo. Poo. That's what they want. They want poo. They want poo. And by the way, you're gonna get plenty of that too when you have kids. Just letting you know. Listen, I. I don't blame some of these younger folks out there that are like, no kids for me. Nope, not having them. Yeah, I mean, we'll see as life goes on, we'll see how that goes out. But. But, you know, I don't blame. I was also the same way when I was in my 20s and in my 30s and now in my 40s, I'm like, what the fuck did we do?

[B]

You're in it now.

[A]

Hey, kids, if you're listening to this many years in the future, I really do love you. It's just hard being a parent.

[B]

Yes, it is.

[A]

All right, let's take. Take a break and we'll be right back.

[C]

What? Oh, hi, it's Christina again, here to remind you to go to tcvpodcast.com for all things audio, video, TCBDO. Give us a follow on Instagram at the commercial break and on TikTokcbpodcast. And guess what? We have a new phone number. I know what you're thinking, but I promise this is the last TCB phone number you will ever have to remember. So call us and leave us a voicemail or text us at 212-4333, TCB. Once more for the people in the back. That's 212-4333, TCB. Oh, and check out our YouTube channel at YouTube.com thecommercialbreak. That's all for now. Let's listen to our sponsors and get back to the show.

[A]

Okay. This story is going to be a little old by the time it airs, but I just, I, I thought it was interesting when I saw it, and I, I'm circling back to it now. Lamborghini, the very famous car. Yes, the Lamborghini. Okay, read this headline. Beautician claims she's heir to the Lamborghini fortune after collecting irrefutable DNA from her sister's drinking straw. Did you see this?

[B]

No.

[A]

Okay. Flavia Borzoni, 35 years old. Oh, wait, hold on one second. An Italian woman is claimed to be the Lamborghini heiress after testing her alleged sister's DNA from a drinking straw. A lawsuit revealed Flavia Borzoni, 35 years old, claims she has irrefutable DNA evidence that she is the secret daughter of Tonio Lamborghini, 76 years old, after she tested his daughters, her daughter, his daughter Electra's saliva, she claims in a lawsuit. Very interesting names going on here in this. The Naples native, Naples, Italy said she had hired a private investigator to retrieve a drinking straw used by Eletra, who is a socialite and singer, to prove they were siblings and Borzoni was the legitimate heir to the luxury car family. The DNA sample was tested at the University of Ferreira, where experts said the genetic sample proved Borzoni and Elettra were in fact related. The court case revealed the illegitimate heir claims Lamborghini and her mother, Rose Abla Rosabla Cosalimo, had met at a bus stop in 1980 while the sports car air was driving by and offered her a lift. The two then allegedly struck up a romance which ended with Borzoni being born in 1998. So now the. The Lamborghini, it's a little drama. Now Lamborghini is suing to say that it's not. You can't collect people's DNA like this. The DNA is not admissible because it was done in secret and behind everybody's back. So the private investigator waits around until the real dot, you know, until the known daughter of Lamborghini.

[B]

The recognized.

[A]

Yeah, the recognized daughter. That's correct. Drops a drinking straw in a garbage can. Then he picks it up, he collects it, and he sends it for DNA testing. And that scary. And then it is proven true that they are related, like blood related.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Okay, so one question. Why the fuck can't this happen to me? Why am I waiting around for some, you know, $50 million Spotify contract that's never coming? Love Odyssey, by the way. Okay, $50 million Odyssey contract that obviously is never coming. Because God bless Odyssey. That's not going to pay us $50 million to do this stupid show. No one is. Why am I waiting around for that when I could just be the illegitimate son of. You know, it doesn't have to be Lamborghini. It can be the, you know, fucking Pinto for all I care. If I'm the heir to the Pinto fortune, I'd be happy with that.

[B]

Is there a Pinto fortune?

[A]

Well, there used to be a Pinto fortune until the Pinto started blowing up. You would hit them from behind and they would explode. But I, you know, I mean, give a Pontiac fortune or something. Something. Wow. What. What a stroke of fucking luck. Yeah, what a stroke of fucking luck, because.

[B]

Must have heard, you know, I guess her mom told her.

[A]

Of course she did. She said, hey, honey, this dude dicked me over. He fucking ghosted me in the 80s when there weren't even cell phones. But you were born from his sperm, and you should go get yours. Get your bag. Bag. Go, dude, get your bag. He's never been a part of your life. Go get your bag. Right? And I don't blame her, because fathers should be responsible for their children just as much as mothers are. Yes, the 5050 endeavor. That's why I fully support Kentucky allowing child support to be had from the moment of conception. Because, you know, speaking of children, they're. They're not really inexpensive. I don't know if you've noticed, but they're not really inexpensive. You're adding other human beings to your life that then you have to take care of in the most expensive part of their life, when you have to feed them and clothe them and send them to school and all this other bullshit. And so if you weren't a part of that for 37 years, right? And then somebody comes out of the. The. The actual daughter comes out of the woodwork and says, hey, you've never been here, so all I'm asking for is my fair share. Yeah, that's how it goes. That's how the cookie crumbles, Mr. Flaviato. Lamborghini, or whatever your name is.

[B]

Flaviato.

[A]

But I also, Brian Green, am an heir to the Flaviato Lamborghini fortune. I've done my own DNA testing, and it came back conclusive. You are my daddy.

[B]

I Think we know that your dad is really your dad.

[A]

Daddy, Daddy. Flavia, it's me, Brian. I'm just here to collect my bag. I won't bother you. Couple million dollars. It's all good. You got a lot of money, dad. You didn't have to change no pee pee. No poo poo. You didn't have to give me any gifts. You never saw me graduate kindergarten, high school or college. All I want is a couple million dollars and I will go away. I. I'm gonna go to which. Which fortune should we test for? Prince. Prince. Is that good?

[B]

I like that one.

[A]

I love. Never had any kids. He's got to have one kid out there. I mean, there's got to be one kid that's Princess. You think that guy kept it in his pants all the time? No, of course he didn't. He had lovers. It was that Apollina or whatever her name is. Yeah, I mean, Apollonia. Yeah, she's gotta have a few kids. I think that's my mom. Don't I look a little bit like Apollonian Prince?

[B]

Yeah, you do.

[A]

I do.

[B]

I mean, there's a strong resemblance.

[A]

I think there's a strong resemblance to Prince. I like it. This is the way, Chrissy. This is the way home. Now, my dad might claim he's my dad.

[B]

Dad.

[A]

But I have never been so sure that my dad is actually my dad. Nor my mom. My mom. And so I. I am thinking. I am thinking that I am an heir to some fortune that I just haven't learned yet. And soon my ship is going to come in.

[B]

I hope so.

[A]

Okay, if I'm going to make this claim, you got to make a claim, too. Who's going to. Who would you like to be your mommy and daddy? Rich. Think rich. Bezos. Bezos has to have some kids, doesn't he? There's a kid or two.

[B]

There you go. Do they have kids? Did they have kids?

[A]

I think so. I think they have two kids. I don't know. Either Musk has 12 children or something like that.

[B]

I just saw that McKenzie, you know, his ex wife gave away like 680 something million to charity. So that's what. Maybe you should go down that road.

[A]

Oh, yeah, I'm a charity. Yes, yes, I'm definitely a charity.

[B]

Exactly. I think that's maybe the path you should take here.

[A]

The commercial break is the definition of charity.

[B]

Please put together the proposal.

[A]

Put together the. I'm going to put together the proposal. Dear Mrs. Former Bezos.

[B]

And send this podcast as evidence.

[A]

Two podcasters are starving to death right here in America. They desperately need your help. 680 million will do price a cup.

[B]

Of coffee a day.

[A]

Yes. For the. Honestly, for the price of a cup of coffee a day, you can keep me off air. I keep on making this pitch to the listeners, but I'm going to repeat it again. We want Patreon not to give you free content, but to stop doing it. I have an RSS feed that will play Conan o' Brien and fly on the wall back to back. No commercial break. And for the low, low price of $3.99 a month, you, too, can be commercial break free. Listen, Mr. Bezos, this is a charity. You want to get in on. On the ground floor, save humanity from the commercial break. This is the kind of thing you need to get behind. I don't know what you're into, Mr. Bessos. Stern. Howard, listen, You. You of all people know what bad content sounds like, so please put me in your will. But your living will, like the will I get when you're alive, because all I need is just 1% of your annual revenue, and all of us could do flourish. Stern's making $100 million a year. One percent of his revenue. We could flourish. We could absolutely flourish. I'm. I'm on this idea.

[B]

Yeah, No, I think that's the pathway we need to apply as a charity.

[A]

Keep the commercial break off the air. That is the GoFundMe we are. We are starting. Does that go against their terms of service? I don't know. We have to check that out. I'm always hearing about people doing this and that, you know, getting in trouble about terms of service and all that, but I think you and I really. You have a legitimate case and. Cause here, I think. So who the fuck really wants another episode of the commercial break? And if. And if you're against it, just like we are, then all you have to do is sign up to our. Our patreon or our GoFundMe. If we collect, just let's. Let's not make it too crazy. If we could collect just $612, we'll take ourselves off the air. We'll call it a wash scratch. I'll take all five. Cheers to 500. If you haven't made it by 500, here's a little. Here's a little piece of advice. Forget about it. Just stop. That's why most people stop after, you know, five episodes, because they're like, the fuck am I doing with this? Never gonna make any money at this stupid thing. Never Not a dime.

[B]

We're rich in spirit. Spirit and love and laughter.

[A]

Well, you know, that does. That does count for something. Unfortunately, the mortgage company won't take it, but, you know, we'll figure it out. Hey, listen, Flavia, you hit the lottery essentially. And so when you get that. That money, if you could do us a favor and filter it down to some of us who are certainly Lamborghini's son. I'm certainly Lamborghini son. She's certainly his daughter. We just haven't done the DNA testing that y' all are in Naples, Italy, and we can't afford to go to Naples, Florida, let alone Naples, Italy. So if you could do us a favor and just send us some money on the good faith that eventually, with the DNA will come in and everything will be fine, we'd certainly appreciate it. That cow killing bastard.

[B]

All right, I think we hit upon it.

[A]

I think we got the perfect solution. Yeah. And I don't know why somebody wouldn't just give us the money. I mean, I read about these people all the time. Time, you know. Yeah. Oh, I raised $150 million for my company, quote, unquote. I can't raise a dollar fifty for this commercial break. I just need a break. I just need to be related to someone that has money.

[B]

You never know.

[A]

Yeah, you never know. You never know. I should do that. 23andMe. Yeah. Yeah, you did it. Yeah, I should do it. I wonder what I would find out, what revelatory information would come my way. Yeah, but I get nervous about all the police forces and the CIA and everybody, like, being able to access those databases. I don't want to be framed for some, you know, manslaughter case down the line. God, that's. I. Seriously, that's what my brain starts thinking when I think about 23andMe. But, you know, listen, apparently a lot of people love it, so. Okay, fine. Do your thing. Whatever you're gonna do. Not for me. It's okay. Okay. It's fine. Everything's fine.

[B]

Everything's fine.

[A]

Everything's fine. Cheesecake Factory. Everything's fine. Everything's fine. I saw another picture of Kanye and Bianca going to Cheesecake Factory again. Another one, twice, in, like, two weeks.

[B]

They like it.

[A]

That's crazy. And apparently they get a whole section blocked off. Of course they do. Unbelievable. I can't even get a table at Cheesecake Factory on a Friday night, let alone a section blocked off. Kanye. I'm Kanye's son. That's it. That's it. Kanye and Bianca's kid. All right. We want you to be on the show. We want you to come on the show live and talk with us. 212-4333 TCB. That's 1212-433-3822. Text us, let us know you want to be a part of the program. We'll get back to you. Questions, comments, concerns, content, ideas, we take it all. Call us that phone number. Also you can leave us a voicemail if you so choose. Tcbpodcast.com all the audio, all the video, more information about the show and get your free piggy fronting sticker. Hit the contact us button, drop down menu. I want my free sticker physical address. We'll send it off to you at the commercial break on Instagram, TCB podcast on tick tock and YouTube.com the commercial break. All right, Chrissy. I guess that's all I can do. I love you.

[B]

I love you.

[A]

Best to you. The best to you out there in the podcast universe. Until next time. Chrissy and I always say, we do say and we must say goodbye. Sam.