Date Night In Atl: The ITP BP & Magic City!

Summary

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Podcast Summary: The Commercial Break

Episode: Date Night in ATL: The ITP BP & Magic City!
Date: April 3, 2025
Hosts: Bryan Green & Krissy Hoadley

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Episode Overview

In this lively, irreverent episode, Bryan and Krissy dive headfirst into two uniquely ATL staples: dinner at the now-infamous BP gas station restaurant and a nostalgic, laughter-filled look at iconic strip club Magic City. Along the way, they detour through celebrity gossip (from Pete Davidson to Bhad Bhabie), privacy debates around DNA testing, and a scathing but hilarious analysis of Fyre Fest 2’s looming disaster. Expect dark humor, Atlanta deep-cuts, and the offbeat chemistry that defines "The Commercial Break."

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Satirical News Opener & Crabapple’s Wild Mayor

• [00:00-01:59] The episode kicks off with a parody local news update about innocuously strange politics in "Crabapple." Krissy voices “Debbie Doubles,” whose victory speech is as outrageous and unfiltered as ever.

Memorable Quote:

“I am fucking horny, goddammit. I am trying to wear some slutty man like a combination butt plug and backpack... Please book a cameo. Link in bio.” – Krissy as Debbie Doubles [00:44]

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2. Atlanta’s BP Gas Station Restaurant: The Hottest Spot in Town?

• [09:05-13:04] The hosts dissect the trend of Atlanta celebrities flocking to an upscale, rooftop restaurant literally above a BP gas station on 10th Street. Bhad Bhabie’s birthday dinner there prompts Bryan’s bewilderment at the hype.

Key Points:

• The BP started as just a storied late-night hangout and evolved due to entrepreneurial vision.
• Now, everyone from Real Housewives to music stars treats the BP restaurant as a “rite of passage”—a fact that both amuses and baffles Bryan.
• Krissy is intrigued; Bryan is adamant Krissy be the “downtown correspondent” and report back.

Memorable Quotes:

“It’s the hottest restaurant in Atlanta... at the BP gas station. You go and you tell me what it’s like. I got kids, I can't afford dinner.” – Bryan [09:05][13:05]
“I kind of want to go now.” – Krissy [13:04]

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3. Magic City: Atlanta’s Legendary Strip Club

• [13:30-15:50] Krissy and Bryan share personal experiences at Magic City, painting a vivid picture of its cultural clout and atmosphere versus other clubs like The Cheetah.

Key Points:

• Magic City is small, cozy, intensely energetic—legendary for both the dancers’ talent ("They clapping cheeks!"), and as a launching pad for performers.
• The hosts discuss Magic City’s unique, welcoming vibe compared to the more corporate, “buttoned-up” Cheetah.
• They reminisce about Atlanta’s colorful nightclub past, including dives like Fantasy Factory.

Memorable Quotes:

“Magic City is magic. Oh yeah. Listen, it is not for the faint of heart.” – Bryan [13:36] “Those dancers are very talented.” – Krissy [14:27] “This is where it all started... They clapping cheeks. That’s not hyperbole.” – Bryan [14:29] “The Cheetah’s huge too... Magic City’s smaller, much more cozy.” – Krissy [15:08]

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4. Sex Work & Atlanta’s Nightlife Lore

• [17:06-21:14] Bryan describes a wild night at Fantasy Factory (“sort of a brothel but, you know, not legal!”), followed by a frank discussion of sex work’s realities, stigma, and the practicalities of the business.

Key Points:

• The duo is nonjudgmental and open-minded, with Bryan affirming “sex work is work.”
• They relate stories about friends who provided “sexual healing” massage and the value of destigmatizing sex work.
• Bryan recalls a comedic but nonsexual “jacuzzi experience,” highlighting Atlanta’s history of wild nightclubs.

Memorable Quote:

“Sex work is work. Take it out into the light... what a smart way to use your energy, your time and your abilities...” – Bryan [19:53]

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5. DNA Privacy Panic: 23andMe and Ancestry.com

• [24:09–40:39] The show shifts to a classic TCB rant: what happens now that 23andMe is bankrupt and user DNA is about to be auctioned to the highest bidder?

Key Points:

• Bryan has long warned listeners about the data risks with services like 23andMe.
• The pair discuss how “private” bio-data may soon be fair game for corporations, billionaires, or even less savory actors.
• Krissy reveals she used Ancestry.com, but Bryan points out the same risks apply.
• Debates include the DNA’s role in catching criminals, the imperfect science of DNA evidence, and fears of “designer babies.”
• Their banter contrasts Krissy’s optimism with Bryan’s healthy suspicion (“Change your DNA, go get a blood transfusion or something!”).

Memorable Quotes:

“The only thing we don’t have readily available... is the bio [DNA] info. And now it is going to be out there. We have no say in who gets it.” – Bryan [39:14] “Your mind goes to the worst things and mine goes to the best!” – Krissy [43:07] “I think everything with a healthy dose... I generally am an optimist... but I have a general sense of ‘look out for that!’” – Bryan [43:10]

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6. Podcasting Feats & Five-Year Milestone

• [24:09–27:41] Bryan and Krissy celebrate their upcoming 5-year anniversary and announce a massive stunt: 12 episodes in one day, in support of Mental Health Awareness Month (May).

Key Points:

• TCB will attempt a podcasting first by releasing an episode every hour for 12 hours.
• Celebrity guests, endurance, and interactive elements are promised.
• They joke about the sanity of the project, fan engagement, and continual content creation.

Memorable Quote:

“Everyone loves a good, good endurance feat… There has never been another podcast that has put out 12 episodes in one day.” – Bryan [25:21]

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7. Fyre Fest 2: Schadenfreude & Scams

• [44:21–59:41] The team gleefully dissects the upcoming disaster that is Fyre Fest 2, from sketchy logistics to sky-high ticket prices.

Key Points:

• They cover the laughable press conference, Billy McFarland’s continued bravado despite his checkered past, and the event’s oddly vague promises.
• Bryan identifies major red flags: lack of artists, refund policies designed to avoid all accountability, insane VIP packages, and the festival’s inability to assure even basic services.
• The duo expresses both skepticism and bemusement; predicting it’ll be a trainwreck even more spectacular than the original.

Memorable Quotes:

“For $1.1 million, I better be living like Elon fucking Musk for the weekend. ...I mean, maybe I should have blowjobs.” – Bryan [45:37] “I think you have to have your head directly stuck in your ass to think that it’s a good idea to go down to the Fyre Fest, don’t you?” – Bryan [50:57] “Hey, about Fyre Fest 1. Don’t worry, man. We are in Mexico.” – Bryan [55:46]

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8. Classic TCB Banter & Listener Call-outs

• Constant throughout: razor-sharp, self-deprecating humor; Atlanta trivia; engagement with their longtime community; and meta-commentary on podcast fame (“I have been noticed twice. That’s all I gotta say!” – Bryan [07:53]).
• Playful ribbing about their own habits, aging, and interests (gardening, crochet, free stickers), delivered with affection and wit.

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Notable Quotes (with Timestamps)

• “It’s famous. Have you ever been to Magic City?... It is not for the faint of heart.” – Bryan [13:31]
• “Sex work is work. Take it out into the light...” – Bryan [19:53]
• “All ticket sales are final. Absolutely no refunds or exchanges.” – Terms of Fyre Fest 2, read by Bryan [58:11]
• “You want to crochet us stuff? ...Send it along so I can scrape your DNA off of it and put it in a data bank that I’m gonna sell to the most nefarious winner.” – Bryan [43:00]

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• 00:00–01:59: Satirical news opener, “Debbie Doubles”
• 09:05–13:04: The BP restaurant phenomenon and ATL folklore
• 13:30–15:50: Magic City/Atlanta strip club stories
• 17:06–21:14: Sex work, brothels, and massage tales
• 24:09–27:41: Five-year milestone; “12 episodes in one day” challenge
• 27:41–40:39: DNA privacy, 23andMe/Ancestry.com, data fears
• 44:21–59:41: Fyre Fest 2 analysis, skepticism, roast

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Tone & Vibe

Boldly unfiltered, deeply Atlanta-centric, and mixing hot takes with warmth, insider humor, and vulnerability. Bryan skewers and speculates with knowing sarcasm; Krissy provides joyful curiosity and good-natured optimism. Every tangent is embraced, every taboo poked with a stick, leaving listeners entertained and in on the joke—“the Cheesecake Factory of comedy podcasts” for a reason.

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Perfect For:
Listeners who love improv banter, deep-cut ATL stories, pop culture weirdness, and smart, dark comedy with a side of truth bombs.

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Transcript

[Brian Green]

Foreign.

[News Anchor]

Welcome back to WSHIT's Morning News. WSHIT fair and almost balanced. In local news, Crabappleians turned out in force for yesterday's education department election. With almost 133 crabapplians going to the polls, it marks the largest turnout for any election in Crabapple history. Debbie doubless walks away victorious with 122 of the 133 votes. While Debbie has many crab appliances support, some citizens found her a controversial choice after she was accused of starting a gonorrhea outbreak on her block. Debbie wasted no time celebrating her victory. She had this to say to her supporters on her social media this morning.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

I am fucking horny, goddammit. I am trying to wear some slutty man like a combination butt plug and backpack. Like just shove that boner up my butthole and jump on my back. Cause we got chores to do and you're buying me lunch, bitch. Please book a cameo link in bio.

[News Anchor]

This is the third time Debbie has run for president of Crabapple's education department. While she won last election cycle, a judge ruled she would be unable to serve in that position after she admitted being in a throuple with two high school students. Along with her cameo, Debbie announced that she'll be minting the double D meme coin. She encouraged supporters, especially her elderly supporters, to dump as much of their retirement fund as possible into this non securitized currency that has almost no value. Debbie explained this was not a grift but simply a way for people to support a cause that also has almost no value. That's all the news that's fit to print for Crabapple. We'll be back after this commercial break Lincoln bio.

[Brian Green]

On this episode of the commercial break. But it's just weird. I just don't know that I would go to the BP for dinner.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

I kind of want to go now.

[Brian Green]

You go and you tell me what it's like. I got kids, I can't afford dinner.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

I've got downtown covered on the downtown correspondent.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, you go downtown. I'll stay otp. Yeah, I'll do the OTP stuff. I'll go to like, you know, the pumpkin patch.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Yes.

[Brian Green]

The fall festivals. I'll do that. How's that?

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

You monitor the next.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, I'll do the Cherry Blossom festival. You do the VP dinner and Magic City strip club.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

They're doing a documentary about Magic City.

[Brian Green]

It's famous. Have you ever been to Magic City? I have, yes. You have to go to Magic City? Yes. Magic City is magic. Oh yeah. There. Listen, it Is not for the faint of heart. The next episode of the commercial break starts now. Oh, yeah. Cats and kittens, welcome back to the commercial break. I'm Brian Green. This is my dear friend and the co host of the show, Chris Joy Hoadley. Best to you, Chris.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Best to you, Brian.

[Brian Green]

Best to you out there in the podcast universe. Thanks for joining us on this beautiful, lovely day here in Atlanta, Georgia. Let us talk about the weather for 30 minutes to make sure and piss everybody else off in the rest of the country. It's cold up north, it's warm down here, so. And we're up for a good weekend. Anyway, I was watching John Mulaney's show on Netflix. It's LA or LA Live or whatever. What are they calling that? John Mulaney Live. I don't know what they. What do they call that show? Yeah, I think it is Everybody's Live John Malign.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Oh, Everybody's Life.

[Brian Green]

And I saw our. I saw two of our good friends on there. I saw Lunel Ah and Pete Davidson.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Okay.

[Brian Green]

And we've never talked to Pete Davidson, but I one time was in the same room with him and so I feel like we're friends. I feel like we're friends. Yeah, I was right there. I was there with him right before he went to rehab. So I feel like we have this special connection, he and I. And even though he has no idea who I am, I was in the room, Pete. I saw it all go down. He was explaining Lunel was busting his chops about Kim Kardashian, busting his balls about dating Kim Kardashian. And he was hilariously explaining that, yes, I dated Kim Kardashian. And now I laugh about, like, now I realize just how ridiculous that was. I laugh about it and I'm glad that shows some self awareness on Pete's behalf. I think he went on a run there where he was like dating people for pr, you know what I'm saying? Like, maybe not on purpose, maybe he liked Kim, but like also there was.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Ariana Grande, but he was engaged to, I believe.

[Brian Green]

I think so, yeah. Yeah.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

And Kim, obviously. I can imagine, though it's hard not to get swept up. You know, they met on Saturday Night Live.

[Brian Green]

Yeah.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

She was a guest. And I can imagine it's. If she's showing interest to him, it would be hard not to get swept up on that. Like, oh, my God.

[Brian Green]

Hey, listen, when. Yeah, when one of the most famous people in the world figures in the world. And I mean that literally and figuratively, one of the most famous figures in the world is paying you some attention. You know, if you're into that kind of thing, of course it's going to be there. Kim Kardashian, not my thing. I'd much rather go with. It's Chloe Kim, who's the third sister. Chloe Kim and Kourtney. I think Courtney is the prettiest of the group.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Courtney's the oldest.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. Yeah. I think she's the prettiest of the group. That's just my opinion. I mean, there's the younger Kardashians or whoever they are, but it's a little too young for me. I got daughters, but I was never really into Kim. Kardashian was never my thing. It was never my style. Um, but that's okay. She's a beautiful woman.

[News Anchor]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

So Pete being kind of this goofball stoner character all of a sudden, dating this string of incredibly beautiful women was quite the run. Epic. If I don't. If I don't mind saying so myself, that is Warren Beatty level. Warren Beatty level run there. He went on for a little while, but now he's realizing just how silly it all looked. And I'm glad.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

He's really in the crosshairs, too, with Kanye. That was right when she. That they were.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, they were sending voicemails back and forth. I'd be scared. I know Kanye, that kind of voicemail. Like, I. I. Maybe not. Maybe if I was in it, I would be like, okay, Kanye, you got to settle the fuck down. What's going on? But I just think that Kanye is so unhinged. And I realize most of it is, like, this troll character he's playing, but there are also a lot of people. But then the people who follow Kanye are not all of them, but some of them probably have some, you know, like, Tinker toys in their head. And I'd be nervous. I'd be nervous that those people would want me.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

Hurt for some reason, because, you know, you just never know what people are thinking. I get nervous about that here on the commercial break. I really do. Like, sometimes we'll get a loose cannon that starts texting us, and I'm like, I'm going to not respond to that guy. I'm going to not respond to that guy. Most of our listeners, 99.9% of them, it's harmless, good fun, and we're all having a laugh. But then there are one or two who take it to the extreme, and you're like, okay, like, you gotta settle down just a little bit. Take A deep breath. I'm just a podcast, you know? I go and have my coffee like everybody else, which, by the way, there is no sanctity in my coffee anymore. I'm out. I'm done. I'm outed. And I. I've. I strongly am suggesting to myself that I go find a new Starbucks because it's just. I'm not safe there anymore. I'm not safe, Chrissy. I'm not safe anywhere I go. I'm too famous at this point. I'm too famous. You don't know the struggles. You don't know the struggles because you're not famous like I am. You hide there over in the shadows, making your laughs and your little jokes, and people love you, and everyone loves Chrissy, and Chrissy's the best, and Astrid's lovely, and Tina and Christina and all this other stuff. I take the heavy hits and I get noticed the most of all the people here at the podcast. I have been noticed twice, and that's all I gotta say. All right, Twice. And it makes me just a little bit nervous. The cat's out of the bag and how do I put it back in?

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

I think you just act like a regular person getting your coffee.

[Brian Green]

No, I. I know now. I go in with sunglasses and a hoodie. I take an Uber. I take an Uber XL up there.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

You changed your name.

[Brian Green]

Yes. I have a. You know, a towel that. I have someone behind me going like this with a towel. And I walk in and I say, there's not enough cream in my coffee. I act like a D. That's what I do. That's how famous people act, right? I think so. I don't think. Speaking of famous people acting a certain way. Bad baby. You know? Bad baby. The Cash Me Outside girl.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Yes.

[Brian Green]

Of Dr. Phil fame. Dr. Phil has really brought upon this earth a string of awesome, hasn't he? I need Dr. Phil. What a shithead. Anyway, Bhad Bhabie, who is honestly rose to prominence because of an appearance on Dr. Phil, is now a musician, and not a bad one by most accounts. People like her music. She was in Atlanta celebrating her 22nd birthday, so she's 22. We've been hearing about the Cash Me Outside girl for like, 10 years, since she was, like, 13 years old.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

And she went to Magic City.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Oh, yeah.

[Brian Green]

For her birthday, she went to a restaurant called X1XV LX. Do you know what I'm talking about? Let me explain to the listeners, and this is the point I want to make. Bhad Bhabie went and had dinner at a BP gas station. A BP gas station, the hottest restaurant in Atlanta in some circles, depending on how you like your food and your flavor, in some circles is a BP gas station where there is a restaurant on top of it. The owners of the BP built a.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

What was originally right there on 10th Street.

[Brian Green]

I can pick 10th Street. Yep, that's it. Right down there in 10th Street. That BP has been there forever in a day. There was a time when that was not the gas station I would stop at after midnight. No way. But then all of a sudden, like, bikers and trikers and, you know, casts of characters, they would all meet up. Because it had a large parking lot. They would all meet up.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Yeah. And I think there used to be like a Chinese restaurant or something there.

[Brian Green]

Right next to it. Like, you know, like it was almost like a strip mall. Like a bp, a rather large kind of BP convenience store, and then a Chinese restaurant next to it that did. To go food for the Georgia Tech campus, which is right across the highway there. Yeah, yeah, it's right across the bridge is right there. The cheetah is behind that. Yeah, it's about a block down the street. So it's in the. It's in the heart of the city. Like, if you put a dot on Atlanta, you'll probably put it right on top of that bp. But. So when I lived down there, it kind of went from this creepy, weird BP to all of the sudden you would see gangs of people just hanging out there in the middle of the night. Two, three, four in the morning, there'd be a hundred motorcycles parked in the parking lot and everyone just having a good time. That then parlayed into some hip hop stars and rap stars doing like impromptu performances there and large crowds showing up for parties and this and that. And the other thing, the BP took on a life of its own. It just all of a sudden, like folk, like, like legendary folklore.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

You had to go to.

[Brian Green]

You had to go to. If you were going to stop in Atlanta, you had to go to the 10th BP. Well, the owners of this BP, being, you know, entrepreneurial as they are, decided, well, let's take advantage of this and we'll build an event space. But we have no more room because we're in the middle of downtown Atlanta. That almost looks like downtown Manhattan now, Swear to God.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

So many buildings and more of them being built every single day. Tall buildings, like 40, 50 stories in the air. It lines the highway now, and it's just like there's no room anymore. So these Guys, this family decides, let's go up. We'll put on top of our bp, our BP convenience store, an entire event space that then turned into a restaurant that now everybody is going to. They like. It's a thing. You go to the BP to have dinner and I forget what it's called. Louis V or X, Y. I'm getting the name off. I'm murdering the name. But anyway, it's the BP gas station. That's all you need to know. And they are serving food and liquor up there and people are having a good time. And people and celebrities and all types, B list, A list, real housewives. They're all now posting about their trip to go have dinner at the bp. At the bp. At the bp. I mean, I realize that maybe in some places in this country, downtown New York, like New York, New York, Chicago, that there may be like convenience stores, like seven elevens on top of taller buildings that then have restaurants in them. But this is not that. This is a standalone BP convenience store that someone put a restaurant on top of. And now everyone likes to go to dinner there. It's crazy. I, hey, listen, I ain't hating on the game. I don't at all. I think it's great. I think they're, they're really, they really took the moment and parlayed it into something cool and trendy. But it's just weird. I just don't know that I would go to the VP for dinner.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

I kind of want to go now.

[Brian Green]

You go and you tell me what it's like. I got kids. I can't afford to.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

I've got downtown covered on the Downtown correspondent.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, you go downtown. I'll stay otp. Yeah, I'll do the OTP stuff. I'll go to like, you know, the Pumpkin patch.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Yes.

[Brian Green]

The fall festivals. I'll do that. How's that?

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

You monitor the, the next door.

[Brian Green]

I'll do the Cherry Blossom Festival. You do the BP dinner and Magic City Strip Club.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

A documentary about Magic City.

[Brian Green]

It's famous. Have you ever been to Magic City? I have, yes. You have to go to Magic City?

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Yes.

[Brian Green]

Magic City is magic. Oh yeah. There. Listen. It is not for the faint of heart. And when I first went to Magic City, way back when I was one of two lighter skinned human beings, let's put it that way.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Me too.

[Brian Green]

In the building. And one of them was on stage, the other one was on stage.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

And so, but I was, I did not feel out of place one bit. I mean, I never did like, I, you know, I'M literally colorblind. And then figuratively colorblind. I don't care. And some of my friends decided they wanted to go and, and for a party and took me. I was like, yeah, fuck yeah. I want to go to this place you guys keep talking about. Magic City is magic. It's magic. And they should do a documentary about it. It is an amazing strip club where you have a ton of fucking fun and you will see the wildest shit you've ever seen in your entire life there.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

I mean, those dancers are very talented.

[Brian Green]

They clapping cheeks.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Yes.

[Brian Green]

This is where it all started working at Magic City. And I promise you that's not hyperbole. These girls at this club started that. And I think, if I'm not mistaken, some of the most famous hip hop stars in the world have danced at Magic City also. Right. And so it's like a place to be seen. A place to see. And a lot of people parlay their fame at Magic City, especially a lot of women parlay their fame at Magic City into further careers. And I think that is great. That does not happen at the Cheetah. Right. But the Cheetah is a different flavor of strip club.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

The Cheetah's huge too. And like, Magic City's smaller.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, it's much more cozy. Yeah, much more cozy. It's. I don't even know. I don't want to know what it is in square feet, but it's like one room. The Cheetah is like multiple rooms.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Oh, yeah.

[Brian Green]

50 foot ceilings. I mean, why do you need ceilings that high? Yeah, why do you need ceilings that high to strip club? I'm just wondering, like, I mean, I guess if you like came down from a chandelier or something, but it's not. Anyway, I don't want to get into the. I don't want to get into the architecture about strip clubs, but Magic City is much more cozy and the experience is so wild that you're likely to never forget that if you walk into the Cheetah, you're going to see beautiful dancers and have a good time.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Professional for sure.

[Brian Green]

Buttoned up. Buttoned up.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

More corporate.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. You have to go into a private room to get a hand shandy there where you can probably get off at Magic City if you're just don't touch the dancers, you know what I'm saying? Or, I don't know, maybe you touch the dancers of Magic City. I don't know. But yeah. Cheat is the kind of place where you'll get thrown directly out for doing Any. For any kind of rude behavior. I mean, they took the doors off of the men's stalls because they knew that cocaine use was going on in there. That did not happen in Magic City. Magic City is like, what? All right, cool. They put more doors on the stalls. They put two doors. It's like, there's a security door. It's just a different flavor, and I love it. I think it's great that Atlanta has Magic City. And there used to be some place called the Fantasy Factory. Do you remember the Fantasy Factory on on Northside Drive? The Howell Mill area? Now, you wouldn't have gone there. That's the kind of place where you.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Walk in at that same place that would change names, like, every year. The one that our IT Guy from the. From the radio station was going to.

[News Anchor]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

There was another dance hall in that same area that would often change names, but this was Fantasy Factory for a long time. And it was like this warehouse building back when it's all warehouses. So it was like a really kind of weird part of town.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Yeah. Kind of industrial.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, very industrial. Train tracks right behind it. You could literally hear the train. And you would walk in, and they would hand you a menu, and then there would be. The girls would be in this room, and you would pick the girl and you would pick the menu, and it would be like, you know, I told you this story, I think once. It would be like, you know, jacuzzi experience, massage experience, you know, leather experience, feather experience, whatever it was.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Oh, this. That's kind of more like a brothel.

[Brian Green]

It is like a brothel, but obviously you can't. It's not legal to pay for sex unless you just don't say it out loud. You know what I'm saying? Like, I mean, unless you just don't say it.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Okay.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. And one of my friends was really hell bent on. On getting there. We had been fucked up for hours and hours and hours. And so we went there. I reluctantly went there because I'm not interested in using sex workers. That's just not my thing. It's not my thing. But I went there because I was so fucked up, and my friend was so hell bent on going there that I just didn't want to leave him alone. Like, I was like, okay, I'll go there and we'll see. And I had no idea what to expect. And he instantaneously. He took to, like. Like a duck in water. He took to it right away. He was like, pick his girl, Pick his experience, and he's out the door. And then I'M just standing there, fucked up, tweaked out of my mind, drunk as a skunk. And I'm like, jacuzzi experience. And I go upstairs. A Jacuzzi experience? You sure? And I go upstairs, and we are all of a sudden outside on the roo, and there is a Jacuzzi. And she's like, all right, darlin', you know, you get changed and I'll be back in a minute and get in the Jacuzzi. And I'm like, looking at that Jacuzzi, and I'm like, I have. I. I don't wanna go in there. No, I don't wanna touch that water. I don't wanna touch that water with your dick, let alone my dick. So I got in the Jacuzzi. I was wearing shorts and underwear at the time. And I took off my shirt and went in the Jacuzzi with my shorts and my butt. So needless to say, no action happening on behalf of Brian. I think I talked to the very lovely naked girl across from me for an hour. That's what I did.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

You had a beautiful view of the city.

[Brian Green]

The beautiful view of the city. Beautiful view of her boobs. And then I just left. I left. And I was like. And he's like, how was it? Awesome. How was it? And I was like, yeah, I just sat in a Jacuzzi. What did you do? I got laid. I got laid. That's what I did. And I thought, well, I guess. And he paid for it, too. So I felt bad because I was like, well, sorry. Yeah, no, this is not me. It's not for me. But anyway, you know, listen. To each Their Own. Doesn't bother me at all. I think. I'm not that prudish. I'm not that prudish to believe or to think that there aren't plenty of guys and girls that are out there paying for the girlfriend boyfriend experience, so to speak.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Oh, absolutely.

[Brian Green]

And I'm okay with it. As a matter of fact, I think. Take it out into the light. I think sex work is work. Take it out into the light. You're providing a service. Service. We have had friends that have been involved with sex work. And I loved them dearly and I thought nothing less of them. No, I thought, what a smart way to use your energy, your time and your abilities to help someone else and, you know, say, gone to the guys of, like, Sexual healing. Right, Sexual massage healing.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Yes.

[Brian Green]

Essentially teaching guys how to be better lovers was the tagline. I guess. I don't know.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

What's the ad in the background.

[Brian Green]

That's right. It was the marketing line. It was on the. It was on the pitch deck.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

But I'll. I'll say that, you know, I never once thought less of her, the. The person I'm speaking.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Oh, I know that too.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. And I thought that that was a perfect thing for her to do because she really was a magic healer.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

She enjoyed it.

[Brian Green]

She was a great person to talk to. She gave a hell of a massage. She had magic hands. And she knew, I think, how to energetically handle certain types of, like, I'm just gonna say, this masculine energy. And so I think she probably would have been really good at that. Really good at that. I asked her one time if I could use her service, and she told me no outright. But, you know, that's say, listen, it's not for everybody, right? I'm not for everybody.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

She probably didn't want to make friends in business.

[Brian Green]

I would never ask her. Can I get a freebie?

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

No, I know you didn't.

[Brian Green]

No, of course not. Of course not. I did one time, though, after a concert, go home. Like, we were like. Everyone got pretty smashed except for me. Unbelievably, I stayed relatively sober. I drove her home one night. She was smashed. I drove her home one night, and we ended up doing whatever, like, you know, waking ourselves up a little bit with some, you know, some little tasty teener and then sleeping in the same. In the same bed. Yeah. And. And when I woke up, she's like, you want a massage? And I thought to myself, is this the question you asked before the sexual healing? I was like, a little bit nervous. And she's like, thanks for taking me home. I owe you something. You want a massage? And then I said, yes. And it was a magic massage.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Yeah, she was a really good magic yes.

[Brian Green]

I felt so good. I need a massage. That's what I need. Somebody send me a gift certificate for massage. I'm just gonna start asking our listeners to pay for stuff. Send me a massage gift certificate and I'll. If you text me, I'll tell you which massage place to get. It's not massage envy or whatever. That place that I went to that one time with the sheets.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Oh, God, that's right.

[Brian Green]

What a terrible, terrible place. I don't even think that place is still open anyway. Okay, so let's do this. Let's take a break. I got some fun stuff I want to talk to. I was right about something, and now I'm going to explain to you. All the bad things are going to happen to you because of something I told you not to do after you had already done it. So I. The math works on that. But I told you not to do something, and I did already. No, you had already done it, but then I told you not to do it. You said I did it, and I go, oh, well, you shouldn't have.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

I can't wait to hear about this.

[Brian Green]

Okay. All right, so let's take a break, and when we get back, we'll talk about 23 and me.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Oh, I know. Yes.

[Brian Green]

Okay. We'll be back.

[Rachel]

Hey, it's Rachel, your new voice of God here on tcb. And just like you, I'm wondering just how much longer this podcast podcast can continue. Let's all rejoice that another episode has made it to your ears. And I'll rejoice that my check is in the mail. Speaking of mail, get your free TCB sticker in the mail by going to tcbpodcast.com and visiting the contact us page. You can also find the entire commercial break library audio and video, just in case you want to look at [e-mail]. want your voice to be on an episode of the show? Leave us a message at 212-433. That's 212-433-3822. Tell us how much you love us and we'll be sure to let the world know on a future episode. Or you could make fun of us. That'd be fine, too. We might not air that, but maybe. Oh, and if you're shy, that's okay. Just send a text. We'll respond. Now I'm gonna go check the mailbox for payment while you check out our sponsors, and then we'll return to this episode of the commercial break.

[Brian Green]

Okay, before we get to 23. And me. And me. I'm certainly gonna read you the riot act here. Say that it is April now. So I'm going to let this cat out of the bag and we're going to just kind of slowly build up into this. Chrissy and I will be celebrating doing five years of this show very shortly. I think the actual day is like April 19th or something like that.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Along the lines, right?

[Brian Green]

That'll mark five years of this silly fucking show.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

I can't believe it.

[Brian Green]

And probably close to 800 episodes at that point. I mean, it's just like, it's ridiculous how much content we have put out there, but we are kind of proud of it. We are trying to learn to live with it. We're getting therapy to be proud of what we're doing and other people like it, apparently, from what we hear. And in conjunction with Central Talent Booking, Covert Creative and our network Odyssey, we will in may be celebrating Mental Health Awareness Month by doing. Drum roll, please. Twelve episodes of the commercial break in one day. That's right. Everybody loves a good, good endurance feat. Every human. Since Time in Memoriam, we have celebrated those who have gone the distance, who have done things further, faster and longer than everyone else. So to my knowledge, there has never been another podcast that has put out 12 episodes in one day. Now, that's to my knowledge. I haven't really checked, but I. I'm just making the assumption that no one is.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

We're at least attempt this.

[Brian Green]

We're going to attempt it. I don't know if we're going to get through it, but we're going to attempt it. It will likely be on Saturday, May 31, the last day of the month. That way Chrissy and I can go directly to bed and not wake up till Monday and. And I can put my children somewhere for the afternoon. But we will be doing this to raise awareness about the importance of mental health. We will have celebrity guests on board to help us get through the day. And Chrissy and I will be releasing an episode that we are recording that day every hour for you to listen to from 10am until 10pm now, details subject to change, but details, all of it. Yeah, I'm glad I told you the details because they'll probably change. It'll probably be like 11:30, 12:45 or some bullshit like that. But right now that's where we're going with it, and it's very much going to happen now because now we've roped celebrities into doing this. I don't think we have much of a choice at this point, but I just wanted to let know that there's the opening salvo. May 31st. Mark your calendars. 12 episodes of TCB. If you can keep up with all 12, you're going to get something. And that is. And we're likely to give away something on that day. So stay tuned. You'll probably want to tune in. Mark your calendars, kids. 12 hours of TCB is coming your way to celebrate five years of the commercial break and Mental Health Awareness Month that is May. Okay, now, speaking of your mental health.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

We'Re going to need mental health afterwards.

[Brian Green]

No shit. We should get a therapist. I believe you wrote me the original idea was 24 hours of TCB, so. Oh, I. I didn't say it wasn't happening. I said it's not happening this time. We gotta work our way into it. What are we gonna do at 10 years? I don't know. We'll see. Coming up with some way, I think we're definitely doing the 12 days of TCB again, which is gonna be 23 episodes. We know that, but we'll prepare better for that. We'll space it out a little more evenly last time, but this one, there's no spacing out. We're going in or stay in the day.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

We're considering Twitch, but that's not.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, we're considering throwing out a live episode on Twitch like you guys. And the thing is, is that podcasts are recorded by nature. There is no functionality on the RSS feed to do live, so we would have to do that on YouTube and. Or Twitch. But we. We will record the episode and then flip it back out on the hour. So essentially, while you're listening to one episode, we'll be recording the next episode. So. So that's the minutiae of it. We'll talk a lot more about that. But, you know, we're going to have a lot of time to talk about lots of stuff. So if you have any ideas, anything you've heard us do over the last five years that you would like us to touch on during this 12 hours of TCB, text in, let us know. We'd love to hear from you. And of course, you know, please tune in, set your podcast player to auto download so you get all the episodes. Obviously, most people will not be listening to 12 Hours of the commercial break, but you'll have a whole three days, Saturday, Sunday and Monday to catch up on those 12 hours before we start putting out more episodes the following week. This is so stupid. What was I thinking? I was thinking something and I opened my mouth and everyone was like, yeah, let's do that. And I'm like, well, you don't actually have to do it. Ah, that's great. I love it. Anyway, okay, 23andMe is bankrupt. They went bankrupt. Unsustainable business model. Lots of competitive. It's a competitive industry where there are lots of companies doing the exact same thing. DNA technology is getting cheaper and cheaper, and so therefore the 23andMe model is not sustainable because it's not a subscription service for most people. It's just a one and done. And 23andMe is that company that claimed that they could tell you why you liked coffee because you were from the Aribica, you know, your family, your clan, was from the Arabica zone of Columbia or whatever. It was kind of silly if you ask me. But the thing that I have always been warning people about since these services started coming in fashion probably 10 years ago, was what happens when the government or private industry that does not mean, well, wants to buy that information from that company. Because I promise you, in the terms of service, you're not going to have the right to say no. They're going to have the ability to take that data and sell it. And they probably will. And they probably were anyway. But now it's on the auction block. And who's going to get it? Elon Musk? That Bezos guy? I don't know, Dennis Rodman? I mean, anybody could get that information and then they could have their own database of DNA sitting there ready for use in what way they see fit, creating new human beings. The splattering blood on the scene of the OJ crimes, I don't know. But you never know. And that's the challenge. The challenge is you don't know what they're going to do with it, and you have no say in what they do with it anymore. And now the judge is going to sell it to the highest bidder or they're going to sell it to the highest bidder. And it's likely that the investors in that company are not going to give a shit about where that information goes because they just want their money back. And that is the challenge. And that's why I've never used one of those services. Now, to be fair, my twin brother has and we're twins, so I'm kind of fucked anyway. But I mean, we're fraternal twins. At least there's a little twist in the DNA somewhere there. But, you know, this seems dangerous to me. Anytime we give this kind of extraordinarily, all of our personal information is out there anyway. Our Social Security numbers, our addresses, our phone numbers. Anybody can be found at any time just knowing how to Google. And now a chat GT Ryan has broken. Powering down with Chat GPT. Chat GPT. It's so much easier than it was before to find out loads of information on people. I asked ChatGPT to give me a biography on myself and you. And you should have seen the amount of information that it got just reading the Internet. It got a lot of information, information, stuff I didn't even know about myself was in there. It's unbelievable. No, I needed a biography for purposes. And I said, okay, can you create a biography on the two hosts of the commercial Break. And it came up with a. Like, a whole four. Four pages on me. Less on you, because I don't think as much information is out there about you. But some of that information, I was like, wow, that is pretty spot on. And there's a couple things that I didn't understand or I thought were just wrong altogether, but mostly the right information. And there's a lot of it. And I don't put a lot of personal information out there.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Like, well, at least it didn't say that you had murdered your children. Like that one guy that's suing from, like, over in Europe or something.

[Brian Green]

Oh, really?

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. Well, you want to know the craziest thing? And this is all just leading. This will lead to a point, I promise. Most of my speeches do. You just might have to listen for a couple episodes to get to the point. I asked Chat GPT something about the commercial break. They had, like, a new model that came out, and I said. And it was like a deep research model, and I got access to it. They're like, you get. We're giving you access to test it out. You know, go ahead. Blah, blah, blah, blah. It's like 4.5 or whatever. So I said, like I always do, because I'm just obsessed with hearing about myself. I'm like, okay, tell me about the commercial break and the commercial. And at this time, you and I have recorded our interview with Rory Scovell, but we have released our episode with Rory Scovell. And it goes. Gives me a biography of the. Or, you know, dissertation on the commercial break. And then it tells me the commercial break also has celebrity guests in a segment they call TCB Infomercial. Here's some of the examples. You know, Lunel, blah, blah, blah, yada, yada, yada, yada. Do you want more information on the commercial break and their guests? I said, yeah, tell me which celebrity guests have been on the commercial break. And it says, da, da, da, da, da, da, and Rory Scoville. And I was like, how does it know that we had Rory? What's that?

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Your phone?

[Brian Green]

My phone? That's right. It took the information from my phone.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Yeah, the phones are listening to us.

[Brian Green]

It's.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

It's known.

[Brian Green]

Well, it had. Take it. It had made the assumption. It now knows that I'm the host of the commercial break. It made the assumption because I asked it a question about Rory's background before we asked. Before we got him here on an interview. It made the assumption that I had interviewed him, and that's what it told me. Because I said, how did you know that I had interviewed how did you know that the commercial break had interviewed Rory? I don't find that episode publicly. And it said that information is not available publicly. It's based on previous conversations. I made the assumption you had interviewed Rory. And I was like, holy fucking dick. Shit. That's crazy. That is crazy. Like, that's crazy. Scary.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

That it's like thinking and reasoning like that. That's insane. My 6 year old can't think and reason like that.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Meanwhile, I'm using it for gardening.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. Meanwhile Chrissy's like, tell me something n and I'm like, give me the war plans to destroy the cosmucherstan. You know, it's like, how do you build a bomb at home? So it's just scary. And this amount of information already available about us leaving, the only thing that we don't have readily available at our disposal is generally our bio information, the information about us biologically. And now it is going to be out there because it's going to be on sale and we have no say, no say in who gets it. And the government, as it stands right now in this administration is unlikely to put their finger on the scale to, you know, sue the, to get an injunction or whatever to stop this from happening. They don't give a shit. Probably some of those people in the administration will be one some of the bidders because they will see value in having that bio information out there. That's scary to me. It's really scary to me. And yeah. So shame on you for using 23andMe.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

I didn't.

[Brian Green]

Oh, I thought you used 23andMe.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Nope.

[Brian Green]

What'd you use?

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Ancestry.

[Brian Green]

Oh, ancestry.com? okay. But I think the point remains the same, is that Ancestry.com is another business that at some point may or may not close the doors. And if 23andMe couldn't hack it, Ancestry probably is living and breathing in the same industry. And as these services become cheaper, more widely available than Ancestry and me might go, eh, eh, you know, we can't do it anyway. And then that information is on the chopping block getting sold too. So I just want you to be cautious now. It's already. Your cat's already out of the bag for you. You're. I, I can't have you here.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

I guess I could go and delete because, I mean, I was listening to a podcast about this, the story, the 23andMe story, and they were saying, you know, it's. I guess there's not going to be a sale until later this year. So if you do use that, you could go in and delete your information. Now, whether that's deleted. Delete it.

[Brian Green]

It's not. Or.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Yeah, you think it's deleted, I don't know.

[Brian Green]

You can go and delete.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

But they were saying too, that these services aren't going to go away, really, because people are always going to want to know, like, where they came from and who, what, why they're. If they're predispositioned for certain illnesses and food allergies, that kind of thing. I mean, there's going to. I think there's always going to be people that want to know.

[Brian Green]

I don't disagree that that information is important and it should be used for our. For the purposes of bettering our health or bettering our life. But I think that should be done through channels that are more protective of your information, like under the HIPAA laws. Right. So a doctor. So the doctor says, I'm, you know, like, prostate cancer is in my family. And so the doctor goes in and does a biopsy when my brother gets cancer. And then he says, I'd like to have this genetically tested to see if you are predisposed to genes that we know other people who've had the similar genes have prostate cancer too, so that we can see if it's more or less aggressive, if they're. If we need to do something with your other brothers or whatever.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Exactly.

[Brian Green]

And so that's. That felt right to me. Right? That's like, yes, that's an easy decision to make. It's just like these private companies, you know, that have no vested interest in any of that. They don't give a shit whether you're healthy or not. They don't. You know, they might give you that information, but they're not going to protect that information when it comes down to brass tax. They're going to sell to the highest bidder because their purpose here in this ether is not to make sure you're healthy or wealthy or wise. It's to make sure they have money in their pocket. And so therefore, anything that they can do to make revenue is fair game. And yeah, they can say, make sure you go in and delete the information before the sale. It's already being housed a million different places. There's multiple copies of it, you know, and even if it's blind DNA, that DNA even being blind, meaning there's no name attached to it, it's in your body. So it's like, it would be hard to unwind that it's like it's so connected. So I'm giving this advice to all of my. Because I've been saying this for 10 years, don't do these services. If you need DNA testing, go to your doctor and explain why you might want DNA testing. I'd like to know how many children I have in foreign countries. Please do a DNA test.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Dr. Yeah, but I think they've caught, they caught some serial killers by the DNA tests. Yes, those same services.

[Brian Green]

And listen, that's great when you get one. One. But what DNA is not a perfect science. And so many people who are scientists in this universe will tell you. I have a friend and works for the CDC and explained.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Still working for the CDC according to.

[Brian Green]

Our last text message chain. Yes. And that was a couple days ago.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

But he was a lot of cuts.

[Brian Green]

He was very nervous about it. Very nervous. He said everybody was very nervous about it. But the point is that DNA is an imperfect science and it has been for a long time and mistakes are made and things happen. And when people have your DNA, it can be used for good, it can be used nefariously. And that's the thing, is that not everybody has great intent. We can see that. It's like playing out in every newscast that we've seen for the last 200 days. Right. It's not everybody. You like to think that people are like, yeah, I want to do good and I want to be best and all that other stuff. But not everybody thinks that way. And some people are just, quite frankly they're like, like, you know, from the land of broken toys. I don't even know what they're thinking. 23andMe While I'm sure the intention was to make some money and help people find information, that was probably the original mission of 23andMe. It's now some big conglomeration that's going to get sold and so is all of your information. So I don't know, change your DNA, go get a blood transfusion or something like that. I don't know what to tell you.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Well, it's out there now, so it's kind of exciting to think about a robot. Chrissy.

[Brian Green]

No.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

I don't know. What's the worst they could do? I guess I'm not thinking in terms of like what, like I'm being like, I could be framed for a murder. Is that what you're thinking? Or.

[Brian Green]

I don't think that that would happen. But stranger things have happened. There are people that are sitting in jail right now that are innocent as the Day is long. And they were convicted on DNA evidence. There are whole documentaries about it. Right. The DNA evidence was wrong. It was wrong. It was interpreted wrong, it was done wrong. It was whatever. Wrong. But the other thing is, is I think more importantly is your information or DNA would be used in some way to, I don't know, create designer children or, you know, oh, we like these desirable traits about this person. So we're going to put this in a string of sequences that then we can sell to people who want designer babies and we can infuse the DNA or whatever. And then all of a sudden, not real Chrissy children running around here, but like part of Chrissy children, like, you know, they got your eyes or whatever. I mean, it's a little weird. And it's happening. It's all happening. Telling you, you gotta start using ChatGPT to look up all the weird negative shit.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Oh, God. I'm gonna keep continuing down my gardening route.

[Brian Green]

You are turning into an old lady right in front of me. In some ways, you're still a young buck wilding out there on the streets night after night. But then other ways, I'm like, like, are you gonna get into crochet anything any day now?

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Crochet is making a big comeback. I actually did try to get into crocheting, but I can't. It.

[Brian Green]

No, no, no, no, no. I don't. I don't see you as a crocheter. I mean, if you do crochet, it's all over. I can see you in here, like, while I'm talking, doing crochet.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

It seems old, but there's a whole new section. Our Jeff's daughter is huge into crocheting.

[Brian Green]

We have listeners that want to crochet us stuff. Yeah. Hey, listen, I. When I was growing up, it was hot. There was a lot of people that did it. Like, you know, younger ladies that were doing it fell out of favor, at least where I lived. Right. I remember seeing women who had.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

I just remember seeing old people doing it.

[Brian Green]

No, it was like new. Yeah, it was like a. Things the moms. Like the young moms were doing. Because I remember being young and going over to friends houses and seeing the moms, you know, talking on the phone, crocheting or whatever. And that's back when you had to hold the phone, you know what I'm saying? Like, it had it up to your ear like that.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

You were on the phone.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, you were on the phone and whatever. But, you know, and we have listeners that crochet, too. We have listeners that have Offered to crochet us things.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Oh, yeah. I love crochets.

[Brian Green]

And I'm like, yeah, I've got hats.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Bags, all kinds of stuff from.

[Brian Green]

Yeah.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Our daughter.

[Brian Green]

Send it along so I can scrape your DNA off of it and put it in a data bank that I'm gonna sell to the most nefarious winner.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Your mind goes to the worst things, and mine goes to the best.

[Brian Green]

It doesn't go to the worst things. It goes to things that I think are feasible. And that makes me cautious. Right. I'm like, oh, I don't know about that. I just. I don't know. I just, like, I. I think everything with a healthy dose. I generally am an optimist. I'm really optimistic about most things, but I have a general sense of look out for that. Like, look out for that. You know what I'm saying? Yes. Like, I don't know about that. You know, I have a. I have a healthy dose of street smart. I think that is in my brain. All right, so let's do this. Let's take a break. And we get back more to talk about.

[Rachel]

Let me do something Brian has never done.

[Brian Green]

Be brief.

[Rachel]

Follow us on Instagram at the commercial break. Text or call us 212-4333, tcb. That's 212-433-822. Visit our website tcbpodcast.com for all the audio, video, and your free sticker. Then watch all the [e-mail] thecommercial break break and finally share the show. It's the best gift you could give a few aging podcasters. See, Brian, that really wasn't that difficult, now, was it? You're welcome.

[Brian Green]

Oh, I do love watching the Fyre Fest 2 fall apart. This is a lot of fun. Well, they had a press conference and that at that. They had a press conference. They had a press conference where Billy was, like, not there because he can't physically leave the United States. He can't even leave New York because he is under. He's on parole, so he cannot leave New York. So he is zooming in to a press conference in Playa del Carmen in Quintana Roo, where there are some other people from a production company, like a police officer, I guess, from the local. And then, like, 10 reporters. I mean, it was, like, sparsely attended. Right. And they're in, like, a thatched hut on the beach or whatever. And he's just putting this on for show to tell people, you know, I do have some connection down there and, you know, is happening, but this is only 1800 people are. Are coming. Only 18. There's only 1800 tickets he wants. He's encouraging people to buy the $1.1 million ticket. Of course he is. Where they will live, quote unquote, like Jack Sparrow or Lara Croft for the weekend. It's like, for $1.1 million, I better be living like Elon fucking Musk for the weekend. I mean, honestly, I should be. You. I should have a. The nicest Lear jet, the biggest yacht, the best service, and blow jobs whenever I want. I mean, that's just a case. I'm just making a joke there. Don't get all upset. But I mean, honestly, maybe I should have blowjobs. I mean, that's like an insane amount of money to spend on three days for a festival. That is so.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

I don't know if you can call it a festival at 1800 people.

[Brian Green]

It's not a festival. It's more like a big party is really what it is. And it's disparate. It's all over the place. It's not even in one location. It's like a venue here and a venue there. And they're supposedly dropping a list of artists sometime in the next two weeks.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Oh, great.

[Brian Green]

But that gives me zero confidence.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Well, yeah, right. As things are approaching, yes, this is going.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. And oh, and by the way, one enterprising reporter pointed out that on the website's terms of service, when you purchase a ticket, it says that Fyre Fest 2 and its organizers have the right to. To change the date, date, time, locations, and artists without notice. And there are absolutely zero exchanges or refunds. So riddle me that, Riddler. How are you're gonna buy a ticket for starting at $1400? And there is no guarantee you will ever see that money again. None. Zero. I guarantee they don't have event insurance because you can't have event insurance unless you have an actual event at a location where there's plans for things that are happening. No insurance company in the world is gonna insure an event that's happening in 17 different places. It's just not. It's just not. This is so backwards. From everything that I understand that goes on in the event industry, especially the festival industry, that Chrissy's right. It's not a festival. It's a party in multiple locations. They have loosely cobbled together some people who may or may not be involved, and then they're hoping. Hoping that they get enough people down there to break even. At 1800 people, you would have to sell. You'd have to sell every ticket to even get any artist of note down there. Now, I'll eat my shoe if they announce, like, you know, Green Day or Adele or, you know, I don't know, whoever Travis Scott is going to show up, But I guarantee it's not going to be that caliber of artist. It's going to be like, Jojo Siwa. He's going to show up. It's going to be like JoJo siwa. And I don't know, like, some, you know, D list celebrities that you might or might not get to hang out with.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

But weird.

[Brian Green]

How's he going to pay for all of this? It's all weird. It's so weird. And he's desperately trying to put on, you know, a happy face for everybody, But I know he's got to be freaking out inside that he announced this. This is his big comeback back. He's trying to make it all happen. And it's clear that no one believes him. No one. With good reason, because he hasn't done this the right way. He should have announced a festival for 2026 and then said, more information. Here's where. And he should have had all his ducks in a row. Here's where it's going to be. Here's who's playing. Here's how you buy tickets if it doesn't happen. I've got a protection program. I've got an insurance company like Allianz or somebody that is going to pay you back. Don't worry about it. And the tickets are reasonably priced. They're $500 for the weekend. Right. Or something along those lines. And then if you want to spend $10,000 to get a crazy, you know, suite, then that's it. But there's, like, loosely associated hotels that are going to charge you in addition to the tickets that you're buying.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

It's cobbled together.

[Brian Green]

It really is cobbled together. It's not the right way to do it. It really isn't. It just shows a lack of professionalism in any organization whatsoever. He had this idea in his head. He announced it, and now he has no idea what. How it's all going to go down. And so you therefore shouldn't even think about going down there. Unless you're like, one of those people who really loves to stop at a car crash and take a look at it. You know what I'm saying? That's why I would go down there. I would go down there, not buy a ticket. I just want to be in the town to see what happens. Yeah. And there's going to be so much press just crawling all over the place for that. You know that every reporter that works for every magazine in the entire world is begging their editor for this assignment. Please send me down to Quintana Roo for this particular event so that I can watch the shit show and get a tan while I'm at it. There you go.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Exactly. Wow.

[Brian Green]

So unbelievable.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

What date is it supposed to be?

[Brian Green]

I think it's May 31st. I think it's the same day as the 12 hours of TCB. And I have no fear that it's gonna, that we're gonna. That's gonna be problematic for us. The Fire Fest. When is the Fire Fest? I don't know when the Fire Fest is. Yeah, I think it's May 31st. May 30th. Yep. May 30th, 31st and, and June 1st. Wow, what a shit show this is gonna be. I just, I'm just can't wait. I can't wait to see how it all goes down. Take lots of video if you're going. Take lots of video. I know that no one that listens to the commercial break is going because they, they believe me on this one. They may not believe me on everything, but they believe me on this one. They believe me that this is not a good thing to do with your money.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

I don't think it's a hard convince.

[Brian Green]

I mean, I think you have to have your head directly stuck in your ass to think that it's a good idea to go down to the fyre fest, don't you?

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Oh, of course.

[Brian Green]

Or just a lot of extra money. Or you're already on your way down to Quintana roof and hey, why not let me, you know, and you got fourteen hundred dollars to blow. Let me see what it's all about. But I don't want to see some fucking shitty DJ that played at Ibiza last summer. That's the kind of, that's the kind of shit they're gonna. You're gonna get, you know, DJ Breaker Balls coming from. Straight from his, you know, straight from his five day set at Abis's, you know, Ibiza's hottest outdoor beach club. It's. It's like, oh, okay, congratulations. You know the brand new YouTube artist Dave. Dave, Acoustic set from day.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Yeah, I mean, the fact that he's announced no one yet is definitely just concerning in itself.

[Brian Green]

So it means there is no one to announce. That's what it means. Because you know that if Billy had anybody of knowledge, he would be screaming and yelling at the top of his lungs how great it is that this artist is coming. Even just one one A list legacy act that you could hang your hat on. You would be saying that. And then also if you had that one A list legacy act, then you could get other people to attach themselves to the show. They would be like, well, you know, okay, Rihanna's playing, so I guess I'm gonna play too.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Of course.

[Brian Green]

But the fact is there is nobody to talk about because there is no festival happening. It is totally and literally a shit show. Again. I can't believe it. I can't. I'm just.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

I know. I'm. I'm, I'm stunned that he's doing this.

[Brian Green]

I've never seen a train wreck so clearly coming down the tracks. Never.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

And my in the press release too. Like, I mean again, this would be the part where you would announce, yeah, let me.

[Brian Green]

Somebody, somebody was there. I'll read the byline.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Oh, here. Yes.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. Fyre Festival founder Billy McFarlane has reassured revelers that the proper permits are in place for the rapidly approaching multi day event in Mexico. McFarland proclaimed that the second installment of Fyre Fest will be an opportunity for him to amend the disastrous 2017 event which left attendees stranded on an island in the Bahamas that lacked any food, water or accommodation sand. It shows a picture and it says I have a second chance to do right by the people around me and against all odds to turn this nightmare into real dreams, mcfarlane said via video at Thursday's press conference. For the attendees, for the partners sitting on stage, Fyre Fest 2 is about being a dreamer. You are so full of shit. Being a traveler and being an adventure seeker around the world. Converging on Playa del Carmen to live like Jack Sparrow or live like like Lara Croft. For three whole days, the festival will host 1800 guests and feature 40 musical performances. Event associate producer Danielle Martin said, Poor Daniel, you have no idea what you're getting yourself into. However, the Fyre Fest organizers stopped short of revealing any of the artists. Despite the event slated to kick off on May 30. Partner Mike Felb vowed to unveil the first list of artists on the Fyre Festival's social media platforms in the next few weeks. The intention of this press conference it's unbelievable. The intention of this press conference is to set the basis of the festival, the foundation of it, the security, the locations, the infrastructure, the hotels. So this is the intention for today. The artist. The first release of the Artist will come in the next couple of weeks so please be attentive to it. What in the world does that even mean? That's a weird way of talking. Another partner named Fernando said the organizers have already secured. Fernando. Fernando. Another partner named Fernando. Hey, my name's Fernando. Don't worry, dude. Everything's cool. Everything's cool. Come on down by the Prometheus package, he said that the organizers have already secured the permits to make the festival successful. Well, permits don't make it successful. They just allow it to happen. But thank you. Manuel Reda, the head of artists and commercial relations for the Mexican event organizer Lost Night, said that the Fire team has found a home for the festival in Playa del Carmen. Reddit expressed confidence in the Fire team's ability to make a festival success. The reality is of all those doubts and concerns are fixed with a very simple thing. We are in Mexico. What?

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

What?

[Brian Green]

Hey, about Fyre Fest 1. Don't worry, man. We are in Mexico.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Yeah. And the whole Jack Sparrow, Lara Croft thing leads me to believe that it's, you know, there's. Because there's a lot of jungle there. Especially when you're flying in. Because we just flew in there and of course it's all jungle. So this could turn out to be even worse.

[Brian Green]

Well, no, I mean, they're in it. They're doing it at Playa del Carmen, which is a major city down there. But I agree with you. Like, why are you giving us the Jack Sparrow? I don't want to live like Jack Sparrow. He was a drunk living in, like, the time of the scourge. We are in the Riviera Maya. We're in Playa del Carmen. There's no lack of five star hotels, five star culinary experiences. And since founding the new partners, now.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

That you go down there and pay for. Yeah, I mean, that's. That's true.

[Brian Green]

You don't have to have fire.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. And since founding the new partners, the new team here for Fyre Fest 2 is about building long term and deep relationships with both the partners of the company, the attendees of the event, and the local supporters in the region which Fyre Fest will. Where Fyre Fest will be held. I don't even understand what any of this double speak is. They're just talking out their ass. The press conference comes a day after the US sun exclusively revealed Fyre Festival. Counts are goers will not get a refund if the event is canceled. The top tier Prometheus ticket is valued for a staggering $1.1 million. The US sun revealed that the second iteration of the initially doomed Festival has some unusual stipulations in the terms of service for the multi day sorority, which has already changed its location twice in the last month. It's an astonishingly long terms of service. Fire attempts to avoid accountability should anything go wrong this time. In the lengthy agreement for ticket holders, there are a slew of serious warnings about what one might expect. One such warning reads in a section titled refund and exchanges. All ticket sales are final. Absolutely no refunds are exchanges. General emissions starts starts at $1400. Next step is 5000, then 25,000 and finally $1.1 million.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

That's crazy.

[Brian Green]

On Tuesday, McFarland claimed claimed on Instagram that they had sold their second Prometheus ticket. Don't believe it. In 2018, McFarland pleaded guilty. He agreed to blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Okay. You get it?

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Yeah. We'll just. We'll keep our eye.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. In the terms of service, it says you agree that no fire party will be liable to you or any third party for any mod suspension or discontinuance of the service or event. We may cancel any event at any time in our sole discretion. Further event date, time, location and talent are subject to change. And any change will not be considered a cancellation of the event. And you will bear all risks of inclement weather in connection with the event. Events may take place despite inclement weather. In the event of cancellation due to a natural disaster, tickets will not be refunded. All costs associated with the cancellation, such as travel, travel will be your responsibility. Well, that should make you feel warm and fuzzy inside. Thanks, Billy, for putting on the second most interesting thing that's ever happened in the festival industry. Mempho being the first, of course. Memphis. Go to Memphis. Go to a real festival. Go to Mempho. Yeah, they won't be glam. There won't be no glamping there. But, you know, there's a. Lots of hotels to stay at in Memphis.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

God, it's really. It is just so crazy. I can't. No.

[Brian Green]

I don't know how to explain it. I don't know what to say. I don't know where to go with it.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

I don't know how to think to make something happen.

[Brian Green]

He sure is. We'll see what that thing is. I have no idea. But hey, listen. Okay. God bless you. You know what, Billy? I do wish you the best. I hope that you are.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

I wish the ticket people that have bought tickets the best.

[Brian Green]

Well, I hope they have a rousing good time. I hope they sell every ticket I hope there's great bands and I hope Billy pays back every dollar for the first people he.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

Before he decides to the second people. But I don't know. I have no faith. I have no faith. I have no faith in humanity anymore, Chrissy. I'm done. All right. TCB podcast. That's where you go to find out more information about the show. All the show notes, information about our guests, all that good gravy is available@tcb podcast.com I also want to remind you to check out Tim Baltz, our episode on Tuesday. Tim was fascinating. We really love him. We really loved having Tim in here. So please do go check out that episode, the TCB infomercial episode this week. We would appreciate, appreciate it. If you would like your free sticker, we are now sending new stickers out, so go ahead. TCBpodcast.com drop down menu I want my free sticker. Give us your physical address and we'll send you one in due time. Don't get fussy, don't get upset, don't get itchy. It's gonna happen. It'll be there. Snail mail is not what it used to be, kids. And either is our organization. Organization here. Add the commercial break on Instagram, TCB podcast on tick tock and YouTube.com the commercial break. All the videos the same day they air here on the audio feed are available on our YouTube channel. Go check it out. 212-4333 TCB 212433, 3822. Questions? Comments, concerns? Content? IDE ideas? We take them all there or you can leave us a voicemail. Be the next voice of the commercial break. Okay, Chrissy, that's all I can do for today.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

I think so.

[Brian Green]

I'll tell you that I love you. I'll say best to you and best to you out there in the podcast universe. Until next time, Chrissy and I will say, we do say and we must say goodbye. Sam, I get ass.