Ding Dong! Welcome to The Villages..

Summary

Episode Summary: "Ding Dong! Welcome to The Villages.."
Podcast: The Commercial Break
Hosts: Bryan Green and Krissy Hoadley
Release Date: August 7, 2025

---

Introduction to The Villages

In this episode, Bryan Green and Krissy Hoadley delve into the intriguing and often humorous world of The Villages, a sprawling 55+ retirement community in Central Florida. They explore the rumors and myths surrounding this vibrant community, particularly focusing on the enigmatic use of loofahs as potential symbols within swinger circles.

Bryan Green [02:46]:
"Are the rumors true? Oh, I have no idea. We. I have read about your loofah situation... but other than that, I have no idea."

Krissy Hoadley [03:26]:
"Man, she just grabbed his dick. Ding dong."

The hosts discuss how The Villages is often portrayed as a paradise for retirees, but beneath the surface, there are stories and rumors that suggest a more eventful lifestyle. They humorously speculate about the significance of loofahs on golf carts, questioning whether they indicate participation in swinger activities.

Pop Culture Musings

Transitioning from The Villages, Bryan and Krissy engage in a lively discussion about recent developments in the pop culture sphere. They express disappointment over Ice Cube's rendition of "War of the Worlds," which has received poor reviews, contrasting it with their enthusiasm for the new "Aliens" series on Hulu.

Krissy Hoadley [04:13]:
"It got incredible reviews. I went down a rabbit hole last night of trailers and special screenings and all this other shit."

They reminisce about the critically acclaimed series "Fargo", praising its return to television and the exceptional performances of actors like Steve Buscemi.

Bryan Green [05:07]:
"Like, well worth watching."

The conversation shifts to their admiration for "Breaking Bad" and its prequel "Better Call Saul," highlighting the complex character development and storytelling that captivated them.

Personal Updates and Anniversary Celebrations

The episode takes a heartfelt turn as Bryan expresses gratitude towards listeners for their kind words regarding his and Krissy's anniversary. They share anecdotes about their anniversary gifts, showcasing their playful and romantic sides amidst their chaotic podcasting lives.

Krissy Hoadley [19:16]:
"Thank you to everyone who wrote in and gave kind words to Astrid and I's anniversary."

Bryan shares a touching story about gifting Astrid a glass rose, only to humorously lament its practicality.

Bryan Green [20:20]:
"That's very sweet."

Investigating The Villages: Loofah Rumors

Returning to their main topic, Bryan and Krissy tackle the loofah rumors surrounding The Villages. They introduce a YouTube channel called Explore55Plus, which conducts interviews with residents to uncover the truth behind the speculations.

Krissy Hoadley [35:43]:
"We're in the Villages today, Brownwood Square. And we haven't done this video in a while. We're going to ask people: Worst part about the villages. Best part of the villages."

The hosts playfully critique the interviews, noting the often negative and humorous responses from residents. They highlight the contrast between the idyllic perception of The Villages and the quirky, sometimes mischievous behavior of its inhabitants.

Bryan Green [38:00]:
"People are nice. Some idiots, but there are more people that are nice."

Krissy Hoadley [39:42]:
"He just grabbed his dick. Ding dong."

Humorous Takes on Retirement Life

Bryan and Krissy continue to satirize the lifestyle of The Villages, exaggerating the freedom and eccentricities that come with retirement. They joke about the vibrant social scene, active nightlife, and the unique challenges of living in a community dominated by golf carts.

Krissy Hoadley [32:23]:
"They're having sex and they're doing it unprotected and they're spreading around syphilis and herpes and chlamydia and all this other stuff."

Their banter reflects a mix of genuine curiosity and lighthearted mockery, painting a vivid picture of life within The Villages.

Concluding Remarks and Future Plans

As the episode wraps up, Bryan and Krissy reflect on their adventures and the constant influx of new experiences that keep their podcast lively and entertaining. They encourage listeners to engage with their content, share stories, and support their latest merchandise drop.

Bryan Green [70:44]:
"Shop tcbpodcast.com that's shop tcb tcbpodcast.com Friday, August 8th go buy your merch."

Krissy Hoadley [71:15]:
"I'll tell you that I love you."

Their closing remarks blend humor with appreciation, leaving listeners anticipating the next episode filled with more chaotic charm and unfiltered conversations.

Notable Quotes

• Bryan Green [02:46]:
  "Are the rumors true? Oh, I have no idea."

• Krissy Hoadley [04:13]:
  "It got incredible reviews."

• Krissy Hoadley [08:54]:
  "Steve Buscemi is a God."

• Bryan Green [19:16]:
  "Thank you to everyone who wrote in and gave kind words to Astrid and I's anniversary."

• Chris Joy Hoadley [35:16]:
  "I'm gonna have a rainbow."

• Krissy Hoadley [32:23]:
  "They're having sex and they're doing it unprotected."

• Bryan Green [38:00]:
  "People are nice. Some idiots, but there are more people that are nice."

• Bryan Green [70:44]:
  "Shop tcbpodcast.com."

• Krissy Hoadley [71:15]:
  "I'll tell you that I love you."

Conclusion

"Ding Dong! Welcome to The Villages.." offers a humorous and insightful exploration of a unique retirement community, intertwined with the hosts' personal anecdotes and pop culture discussions. Bryan and Krissy's dynamic chemistry and unpolished charm provide listeners both laughter and a glimpse into the unconventional lives of The Villages' residents. Whether you're curious about The Villages or simply enjoy a good chuckle, this episode of The Commercial Break delivers entertaining and relatable content.

Transcript

[Brian Green]

Planning a trip this year, Imagine how much richer your travel experience could be if you could speak the local language. Whether you're traveling abroad, planning a staycation, or just shaking up your routine, what better time to dive into a new language? With Rosetta Stone, you'll gain the confidence to have real conversations and create deeper connections wherever you go. Rosetta Stone is the trusted leader in language learning for over 30 years. Their immersive, intuitive method helps you naturally absorb and retain your new language on desktop or mobile, whenever and wherever it fits your summer schedule. With 30 years of experience, millions of users, and 25 languages to choose from, Rosetta Stone is the go to tool for real language growth. Don't wait. Unlock your language learning potential now. Listeners of this podcast can grab Rosetta Stone's lifetime membership for 50% off. That's unlimited access to 25 language courses for life. Visit RosettaStone.com RS10 to get started and claim your 50% off today. Don't miss out. Go to Rosetta Stone.com RS10 and start learning today. Buying a car in Carvana was so easy. I was able to finance it through them. I just. Whoa, wait, you mean finance? Yeah, finance. Got pre qualified for a Carvana auto loan, entered my terms and shot from thousands of great car options all within my budget.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

That's cool.

[Brian Green]

But financing through Carvana was so easy. Financed, done. And I get to pick up my car from their Carvana vending machine tomorrow. Financed, Right?

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

That's what they said.

[Brian Green]

You can spend time trying to pronounce financing or you can actually finance and buy your car today. On financing subject to credit approval, additional terms and conditions may apply.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

There is no way I do about you now.

[Brian Green]

About you now.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

On this episode of the commercial break. One more question. This is. This is. Are the rumors true? Oh, I have no idea. We. I have read about your loofah situation. Ah, see a little bit of anecdotal confirmation there, Chrissy, but other than that, I have no idea. Yeah, I got. I got too cute of a bride for 32 years anyway, so hell with it. So hell with the loofah. Yeah, like you've never strayed. Come on, dude, you don't wear a gold chain like that unless you've been to a few strip clubs on Tuesday night. Well, plus he's buying dinner tonight. He just grabbed his dick.

[Brian Green]

He did.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

He just grabbed his dick. Plus, she's buying dinner. Ding dong. He just rang the bell. Ding dong. The next episode of the commercial break starts now. Oh yeah. Cats and kittens, welcome back to the commercial break. I'm Brian Green. This is my dear friend and the co host of this show, Chris Joy Hoadley. Best to you, Chris.

[Brian Green]

Best to you, Brian.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Best to you out there in the podcast universe. How the hell are you? Thanks for joining. I was just reading that Ice Cube's new rendition of War of the Worlds, the movie everybody's been waiting for as a zero on rotten tomatoes. A 000, as they say in Spanish in espanole. Estero. Estero.

[Brian Green]

That's. That's bad.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Who knew. Who knew that Ice Cube's acting career would take such a terrible turn? Wasn't he in. No, that was the other one.

[Brian Green]

He was in Friday.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

He was in Friday. He was good in Friday.

[Brian Green]

That was great.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Friday's a class.

[Brian Green]

It is a classic.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Yeah, but War of the Worlds, it doesn't look too good. I watched the trailer a couple weeks ago and I was like, what in the. What in the shit is this? What in the trashy movie ass is this?

[Brian Green]

I haven't even seen the trailer.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

This might be a future TCB minus if I'm being honest.

[Brian Green]

Because it's really gonna go straight to TCB minus.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Straight to TCB minus, as a matter of fact. Ice, give me a call, we'll make a deal right now. I'll give you half of whatever revenue we make on the show. 0.0. However, what does look good is the new aliens that is on Hulu. So I think it's Josh. No, not Josh Hawley. He's a guy who works in the Senate.

[Brian Green]

I think that did get good reviews.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

It got incredible reviews. I went down a rabbit hole last night of trailers and special screenings and all this other shit and that. It's a 12 part series. I think it's 12 parts. And he did Fargo. He brought Fargo back to fx.

[Brian Green]

Oh, I loved that show.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

All of those seasons are every single one of them. Every single. We know. Really all redeemable, if not great, for sure. Like, well worth watching.

[Brian Green]

I loved watching those. I'm sad they're not continuing. They should just keep continuing them.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

I totally agree with you. And to. To bring back such a. Like to touch a movie like Fargo at first I thought was sacrilege because Fargo is one of the greatest movies ever made. And I will fight you if you disagree. I will argue with you until we're all blue in the face about Fargo being one of the best movies ever. You feel it in your bones. You feel the cold, you feel the Midwest. You feel the desperation. You feel the just everything about that Movie. It's so visceral.

[Brian Green]

Yeah.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

And I love it.

[Brian Green]

It's definitely my top 10.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Give me Fargo to make me anxious. Every time I watch that movie, I get anxious. Like, when he gets caught, like, with the, like, mate, fudging the numbers. I'm like, we've all had that sense of desperation about some bul in our life, and don't lie to me that you haven't. It may not have been, you know, $500,000 worth of, you know, VIN numbers disappearing, but it was something, you know, you. I don't know what it was, but some. So all of us have felt that sense of desperation, and that's why that movie is so great, is because while it's an exaggerated version of what probably has we've all felt in our lives. We've all felt it in our lives. I just love it. Every bit about it. And, hey, listen, Jose Feliciano is in the movie. Wow. Who wants a comment tonight?

[Brian Green]

That's right. I just love Steve Buscemi, too.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Steve Buscemi is. He's a God. Steve Buscemi is a God.

[Brian Green]

I think he is in. You just put him in anything, and he's fantastic.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Yes. Let me see here. Just give me one second. Fargo. This song gets me every time. Not like, I love it, but it's a song that just gets. Oh, here we go. There we go. All right, let's see if I can play it. Let's see if my kids are. Oh, no, that's not it. Oh, yeah, that's it. Oh, wait. Oh, this is Chuck Mangione.

[Brian Green]

He just died.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Oh, this is a great segue. This is a great segue, Chrissy.

[Brian Green]

He just died because I. This is the same song that I'm always like, what theme song is that from? Like, what TV show theme song is that from? And I looked it up, and it said, that is one of the best examples of a song that is not actually a theme song.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

What do they call that effect?

[Brian Green]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Mandela effect.

[Brian Green]

I don't think it's the Mandela, but.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Yeah, it is. It's the Mandela effect. Yeah, we've talked about it on the show. Oh, what a great song. All right, so here. First of all, I had to play that in band in high school. Yes, we did. We had a guitarist and a French hornist, Like, a French horn player. That was really fucking spectacular. And they went to town on this song. And the band leader of the kid.

[Brian Green]

With the French horn.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Dude, this lady. This girl was so fantastic. Wish I could remember her name. I was shouted out right now. She. I was kind of in love with the French horn player. Not because I loved the French. I love the way she worked the French horn. I love the sound that came out of it. I love the way she held her body proud and loud and she just rocked it. And they did that. We, the bandleader, Bryant Bryant pointed out the only two people in the entire fucking band that could play anything worth a shit and said, you two are going to do a song. And they picked Chuck Mangione's song. And I'll tell you what, I loved that Saxa dun dun dun dun dun dun. I probably. If you gave me a saxophone, I could probably still play it right now because it was one of my favorite things we ever did because we didn't do a lot. That was fantastic. The guy was into all kind of shitty music. But anyway, Chuck Mangione also played a big role in a little show in the 90s and 2000s called King of the.

[Brian Green]

Yes, he did.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

King of the Hill.

[Brian Green]

When I was researching him, I figured that out.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Let us not shit on King of the Hill as one of the best cartoon television shows ever created by the brilliant. The gentleman who created Beavis and Butthead.

[Brian Green]

Yep.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Mike Judge. And Mike Judge got an order to bring King of the Hill back. They've been asking him for a long time and he ended the show. I think it's about 10 years ago, the show.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, it's been around, or it's been.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Off for a while, but he finally decided everywhere. Yeah, it's still everywhere. I love it. It's. It's like Bluey. It's ridiculous. It's a cartoon. Why are we watching it? And then there's life lessons all throughout it. And it's also fudgeing. Hilarious. And so King of the Hill is back. I think in a couple of days. It's coming back. It's got 12 episodes. I'm really excited. Boom Howard died. Like, the guy who played Boom Howard died earlier this year. And, like, some freak gun accident or something, he's like, shot to death or some shit. But Boom Howard is back for this season. He managed to complete his lines. So I'm super excited to see King of the Hill. And it's going to be on Hulu. So Hulu's got two things coming. Alien and King of the Hill. And I'm ready for all of it. Can't wait. Finally the kids are back in school. They're going to go to bed a little bit earlier.

[Brian Green]

Thank the Lord.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Thank the Lord. Thank the Lord, thank Jesus up in heaven.

[Brian Green]

Thank the Lord.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Thank Jesus up in heaven, Chrissy. Because I can't take any more of it. I mean, sometimes they go to camps and that's good. They'll be gone for a couple hours in the day, but they haven't been in camps for these last couple of weeks and I just can't.

[Brian Green]

Well, 30 children is a lot to have at the house.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

You walked. We're potty training. Our last. And she just. She put a pile of her dolls down on the floor and then popped a squat and peed all over them. Because that's the kind of attitude. That's the kind of rock and roll fucking attitude this kid has. You know her and this is.

[Brian Green]

I know her and I love her.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

This tracks. This tracks.

[Brian Green]

That's hilarious. Why wait?

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

I don't know, Chrissy. I don't know.

[Brian Green]

She felt comfortable with the dolls, I think.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Or.

[Brian Green]

Or she wanted to get rid of the dogs.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

No, I think it is because she knows it'll get a rise. And she is all about a good prank. She's all about a good prank. Whether she's throwing dog food around the house or, you know, I don't know. What did she do the other day? She. Oh, one of the kids came up with like a plastic baseball bat and they were just like swinging it around and it hit me right near the potatoes. And I was like, oh, dude, watch it. Don't get it. Don't get near anybody's potatoes. You don't want to hit this area on anybody. It's really sensitive.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, don't go out of the way.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

And I turn around and my daughter's coming full bore right at me. And I was like, ah, why did you do that? And she was like, just had a shitty eat shit grin on her face because she loves to get her eyes.

[Brian Green]

Oh, you've got your hands.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Oh, she's a boomhauer. That's what she is. She's a little boom. She's Stitch in real life form. She's Stitch. That's what she is. So anyway, yeah, Ice Cube getting no love. Alien getting all the love. King of the Hill already has a lot of accolades.

[Brian Green]

What did you say about a 12 part series?

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Alien is a new series.

[Brian Green]

Oh, it's a series.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

It's a series.

[Brian Green]

Got it.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Like, you know Alien the classic movie. Right, Aliens, the classic movie. Then they had like Alien, Prometheus and Alien. I didn't see the most recent too, but Alien the movie is like a work of art.

[Brian Green]

Oh, it is.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

I don't like horror movies.

[Brian Green]

It is so scary.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

So, so scary. It's dark, it's dreary, it's scary. It. It's. You feel so isolated. Like, you feel claustrophobic when you watch that movie. And that's the intent. And I love it. And I'm not a horror movie kind of guy. I could skip it all day long. But Alien is a great movie.

[Brian Green]

Oh, it is.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

And so the same guy who brought.

[Brian Green]

And 2. I remember being really good, too.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Aliens with an S. Okay. Yes. That was. That's when the little thing was pregnant and it had, like, two heads come out of it. Disney used to have this ride, the Great Movie Ride. Anybody who's been to Disney World, when it was called MGM or I guess Hollywood Studios for a time, they had this great movie ride. You'd get in this big thing, like, carried, like, 50 people.

[Brian Green]

Yeah.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

And then it would just drive around this big studio, and the studio was divided into certain scenes of famous movies.

[Brian Green]

That's fun.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

So, like, Singing in the Rain, Indiana Jones, like, a bunch of different stuff, but one of the scenes was aliens. And so you'd go into this part, the doors would close, you'd be in this dark room, alarms going off, you know, smoke, red lights, all this other stuff. And then all of a sudden, out of the ceiling, ceiling would come that thing right at you. Like, oh, my God.

[Brian Green]

I would love that.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

It was the first time it happened. It was terrifying because you don't expect it. And here it comes right out of the ceiling. Anyway, I love stuff like, great movie. But the same guy who did the Fargo reboot on television is also doing the Alien.

[Brian Green]

Well, then I'm. I'm in. I'm going to trust it because those Fargo shows were great.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

It's gotten great reviews for. From people who have already seen some of the episod episodes. And. Yeah, I'll bite. Why not? Sure. I don't see it. There's not another Fargo this year. At least I don't think there is. So I'll buy. I don't know. Does that come back for a fifth season?

[Brian Green]

No, the last one with Jon Hamm was the last one.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

That's something. All good things come to it.

[Brian Green]

I know, but they should bring it back.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

When are they going to bring back Heisenberg and get some more Breaking Bad episodes? This guy. It's got to happen at some point.

[Brian Green]

I know, right? Well, they came out with the movie.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

I know.

[Brian Green]

And that was pretty good.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

I liked it. I liked it. Didn't love it.

[Brian Green]

And then There was the Better Call Saul.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Better Call Saul was so good. Is as good as Breaking Bad. My personal opinion, as good as Breaking Bad. I loved. I almost looked forward to Better Call Saul more than I looked forward to a Breaking Bad episode. And I think the reason why is. And I watched Breaking Bad from the very first episode.

[Brian Green]

I wasn't watching it with you.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

No.

[Brian Green]

Jeff and I ended up come coming to it later and.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Oh, really?

[Brian Green]

Of course, then we were obsessed with it.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Yeah, yeah. You get six episodes in and you. How can you not watch the 7th and the 8th and every other one after that? It's so everyone. Every episode, a piece of art. So well done. The storyline just. It always was plausible. I mean, listen, none of it was actually plausible, but it always connected. The loose ends were tied up in some way, shape or form. There were never any dangling participles, which I fucking hate in a series like that. And so many of those, you know, prestige TV series are guilty of. But Breaking Bad, I watched from the very first episode because I loved Bryan Cranston from Malcolm in the Middle.

[Brian Green]

You did. You were a big Malcolm in the.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Middle fan, which is another fucking fantastic show. And Bryan Cranston shows off his chops in that show. He is a comedic genius. He uses his body and his face and his mouth and his words in ways that are just brilliant, in my opinion. Go watch Malcolm in the Middle if you want to have a fun time. But then, so I was like, oh, I'll bite. I like Brian Cranston. Is this a comedy? What is this? And it was far from a comedy. But he is funny in the show at times. But to watch that transformation, however I was. That was unfolding, just, you know, unfolding, and we didn't really know what it would become. I know I was obsessed. I know I loved it. But I didn't understand the totality of Breaking Bad and what it would become, what Bryan Cranston would become as Heisenberg. This. Yeah, you were rooting from her for him at first. Then you were questioning why you were rooting for him then he was a total lunatic, but you still managed to root for him. And then he was like the worst person on earth, but you were praying that he was alive and that he would be freed from the. That he wouldn't suffer any consequences. It's like you became obsessed with this absolutely evil person with very little morals or values, but you wanted to root for him. And that's why I think Jesse became a necessity in that show, because he relieved that moral valve a Little bit.

[Brian Green]

That's true.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

You felt like somebody in this craziness has some redeeming value. And that's why Jesse, I think, became such a critical role. And what. He was very good in that role. He. You could feel empathetic for him. Where at the end, the Bryan Cranston role of Heisenberg. Walt. It was kind of like, is there any redeeming value about. You kill people.

[Brian Green]

Yeah.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

You murder people. You blow people up. You don't care who gets in your way. You just want money. That's it. That's all you want. Anyway. I didn't. I didn't realize what it would become then. When I watch Better Call Saul, I understand within the first season that this is already super fucking fantastic. And they're going so far back. It's like starting at the beginning with like petty crimes and little shits that Saul would do. You knew where it was going.

[Brian Green]

And his partner too, on that show.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Kim.

[Brian Green]

Kim. She was so good. I loved her ponytail.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

She was good.

[Brian Green]

She really was.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

She was good. What a beautiful woman too. I mean, just like really gorgeous. Such a great actress. The two of them played off. Off each other so well. Anyway, I didn't mean this to turn into a diatribe about Breaking Bad. King of the Hill. Fargo.

[Brian Green]

Fargo.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Yeah. All the shows that you've already watched. Sorry. Sorry about that. What I really wanted to say at the beginning of all this was thank you everyone who wrote in and gave kind words to Astrid and I's anniversary. Very lovely of you. Some people have asked, what are you going to do? Well, we've already celebrated a little bit, but we're going to go have a dinner. You know, when you have three kids, it's really hard to get away for too much time. But we have some help. So we're going to go have a dinner at a restaurant we wanted to see. What did you get each other was a question I got like, what is the 9th year anniversary surprise? Well, Astrid wrote some beautiful words to me and I took over the last couple of months have taken my AI band. Yes. Chat 33P. And I have programmed it. Chat 33B. I. I programmed it meticulously to make a song for Astrid. But you won't hear it here, but it was a song that I made for.

[Brian Green]

That is very sweet.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Yeah. And I sent it to her.

[Brian Green]

You guys are so romantic overnight.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

We can be. We can be. Not every day. When you have kids, life is not romantic.

[Brian Green]

It's just like the rose that you got her in the glass or Whatever.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Oh, I got her. Yeah, I got her a glass rose and one of my kids broke that. She was like, oh, that's a thing. I go, I'm gonna get her a forever Rose.

[Brian Green]

Uh huh.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

It's so lovely. Look at that. I spent I don't know how many hundreds of dollars on it. This Forever Rose. Gold dipped in gold stays forever that way. Blooming and beautiful and all this. And I gave it to her for like our first anniversary. I was like, here you go.

[Brian Green]

Ta da.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Ta da. I put it on the. I remember I put it up on the mantel with like a little card. And she was like, what's this? And I go, it's a forever rose. What does it do? And it stays like that forever. And she's like, is that actual gold? And I was like, yeah, it's dipped in gold. And she was like, wow, how much did that cost? And I was like, what does it matter? Why does it matter? And she's like, well, it's great, but what are we gonna do with the Forever Rose? What do you want me to do with this? Carry it around? I don't know.

[Brian Green]

You should have gotten like the thing that you can stick on the dashboard of the car.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

One of those suction cups for the Forever Road so she can take it around. Yeah. She's like, have you ever heard of Carolina Herrera? Because I'm not saying it's bad, I'm just not saying it's good. I'm not telling you you shouldn't have got it. But I'm also not saying you should have got it. I don't want to seem ungrateful. I don't want to seem ungrateful, but I also don't want to seem grateful. So I'm just going to let you know, I would have preferred a vacuum.

[Brian Green]

If I'm being honest.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

So you know, hey, listen, you have hits, you have misses. What are you going to do? Yeah, I thought I was being romantic. Meanwhile, I literally ordered it at a stand in the middle of a mall. Had to come pick it up.

[Brian Green]

I'm not even kidding. I remember those things.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Yeah, that's where I got the idea. And they had like one sample, one. And you had to order it because it was so much money that, you know, they don't have inventory at those places. They don't even have money. I think they give those things away for free, those little stands. I don't think you need any money. I think you can just show up with shit and start selling it.

[Brian Green]

I think you could at One particular place I'm thinking about.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Yeah, yeah. 10 places you could think. Yeah. Even Lennox Mall. All those stores are going out of business. That's insane. I have a feeling we're in for a rough financial ride over the next three years. I really do. I think this is. I. Well, I don't want. Anyway. Whatever cares. Yeah, you're welcome. You're welcome. To Astrid.

[Brian Green]

You're a sweetheart, and she's a sweetheart, and I love the two of you. We're all sweethearts.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

We're all sweethearts.

[Brian Green]

Everyone's sweet, and I'm so happy you two found each other.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Thank you very much. And thank you to the audience for. For texting in. I appreciate you being invested in our. In our love. When we get a divorce, you're on my team. Just remember that you come with me. All right, let's take a break. We'll be back. Hey there, cats and kittens. It's Rachel. I have a terrible cold, but Brian wanted me to pass along the message that tcb's exclusive merch drop happens Friday, August 8th through the 22nd. You can pre order your limited edition commercial break hat, hoodie, university sweater, or T shirts, and get an exclusive TCB sticker free with every purchase. Go to shoptcbpodcast.com Friday, August 8th through the 22nd to pre order your merch because when the window closes, it closes for good. So mark it on your calendars. Friday, August 8th through the 22nd. Shop tcb podcast.com Now I'm gonna go take some DayQuil and feed Axel more pork chops. Best to you. This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. I'm out on our little break. I'm over at the local coffee shop and I'm talking to one of the people behind the counter and they say, I want to start my own podcast. To which I reply, you already have more listeners than we do. But their question to me was, what do I need in order to launch a podcast? Three things. A microphone, an idea, and a website. And our good friends at Squarespace, they have the all in one website platform designed to help you stand out and succeed online. Whether you're creating content, selling something, offering a service, or just want to keep people informed about your comings and goings, you can build your website, grow your brand, and get paid all in one place. And if a website is a building block of a business, what's the building blocks of the website? Two things, in my opinion. Number one, design. You got to have a good looking design, and Squarespace has a collection of cutting edge design tools that anyone can use to build a website that fits your brand perfectly. Number two Building block. You have to be found. As I've often said about podcasting, if you want to be heard, you have to get found. No different out there on the world Wide web. And search engine optimization is the key to doing that. While some companies and services may charge thousands or tens of thousands of dollars for search engine optimization, it's included with every single website on Squarespace. And the great news about all of this is you do not have to be some designer programmer search engine optimization expert. Squarespace is designed to help me build a website and if I can do it, you can do it. I'm really not all that smart. Go to squarespace.com commercial to save 10% off your purchase of a website or domain using the code commercial and start building your business or grow the one that you have or refresh that multi billion dollar conglomerate. Squarespace squarespace.com commercial and when you're ready to launch, make sure to use the code commercial and thank you to Squarespace for always being a sponsor of the commercial break.

[Brian Green]

Hello, it's Lena Dunham. I host a podcast called the C Word with my dearest friend and historian of bad behavior, Alyssa Bennett. What is up? It's a chat show about women whose society is called Crazy. We're going to be rediscovering the stories of women's society dismissed by calling them mad, sad, or just plain bad. Listen to and follow the C Word with Lena Dunham and Alyssa Bennett. Available now wherever you get your podcasts.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Avoiding your unfinished home projects because you're not sure where to start. Thumbtack knows homes so you don't have to. Don't know the difference between matte paint, finish and satin or what that clunking sound from your dryer is with thumbtack. You don't have to be a home pro, you just have to hire one. You can hire top rated pros, see price estimates and read reviews all on the app. Download Today One of the ongoing jokes that all of us have here at the household, including Chrissy, is that Astrid, someday Chrissy and I will retire to the villages while Astrid continues to live her young life out in a manner befitting of a queen. While Chrissy and I continue to do episodes of the commercial break, bringing in that hog money that we've been bringing for so long. Remember, we're not part of that 3%, Prof. G said. We're part of the 5%, the ones who are barely Hanging on sliver. Yeah, I'd rather be in like the 10% and just have a day job or be in the 3% and make $20 million a year like Prof. G. But it's not happening. So one of the, the visions that Chrissy and I had after we heard about the villages was that we would be down in the villages in one of the 30 different neighborhoods they have, their 152 golf courses, Margaritaville. And we'd be down there hanging out, living out our best lives by staying intoxicated on narcotics as much as possible, like apparently a lot of people are. Now I realize a lot of this is conjecture and that it's probably mostly not true, but I have been hearing things on the Internet over the last couple of weeks, months I think because I was down in Florida. They were serving me up village villages content. I have a, an uncle in law. Just like an addendum to the story. I have an uncle in law who owns property on abutting one of the villages. And for years and years and years the sons of the man who started the villages have been pitching him, trying to get that, trying to get that land and he's been doing improvements and building roads and all this other stuff. I think he's, he's going to come to a price and it's. He's going to be fabulously wealthy because they just keep on buying up land down there. Keep on buying it up.

[Brian Green]

There's more demand.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Yes. They own 57 square miles of Central Florida. 57 square miles. That's how big the villages is. Last check it was over 150,000 residents. It's 55 plus according to Kathleen Madigan, whose mother lives down there. If you are not 55 plus, you cannot stay the night on the property. You can visit, but you cannot stay the night on the property.

[Brian Green]

Stay the night.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Kathleen Madigan has a joke about it. She says, I wonder if that's just what my mom's telling me. I didn't read any of that anywhere. And I've been through a lot of villages material.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, my Dad's in a 55 plus community and that's not hard. And fast rules come kick you out.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Yeah, my room is a 55 plus community. I should have a rule about that because then I sleep a lot easier. But one of the thing, it is 55 plus though. You do have to own property down there. You have to be 55 plus. They have 100 and some odd golf courses. A lot of them are 100, a hundred plus golf courses. I think it's 138. And a number of those golf courses are 27 holes. So, I mean, but it's 57 square miles. They have the room for it, right? Lakes, they have different neighborhoods, they have hospitals, they have grocery stores, they have restaurants.

[Brian Green]

Its own little city.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Even though Hooters is currently in bankruptcy and the one up in the corner near where I live has seen its better days. I mean, oh, my God, I wouldn't eat in there if you paid me to. I ate in there when I first moved here because I actually do like the chicken wings. It was nasty back then. And I don't think it's ever seen. I don't think it's seen a dish rag since. I don't know. But I'm just saying it looks terrible. It looks terrible. Still open. They just opened their first Hooters. And the line to get into the Hooters was insane. If I could live another life, if I could be another person, I would be a waitress at the Hooters in the Villages.

[Brian Green]

I don't think so.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

With pads on. With knee pads and elbow pads and head pads. Oh, I can only imagine how much those girls must take. Old white men. Drunk, drugged out. They have activities every hour of every day somewhere on the property. I think, according to some people, 24 hours a day, some activity. Yoga, stargazing, whatever. Dancing. Lots and lots of dancing from the videos I've seen. But one of the things that alarmed me, that alarmed me the most is, you know, in America, there is a real problem of STDs going around the 55 + community, because apparently they are, because of Viagra and other supplements that allow men mainly to have continued sex well into their 80s or 90s. Get a hard on. Or a half heart at least. I'm just thinking of an old dude with a half heart.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, I'm trying not.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

And a towel on it, hanging on it like cars. Brooks. They're having sex and they're doing it unprotected and they're doing it unprotected. And they're spreading around syphilis and herpes and chlamydia and all this other stuff. The swingers community apparently in the villages is alive, well and kicking.

[Brian Green]

Oh, I can imagine.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

And instead of pineapples, while they do still use the traditional pineapples in some way, shape or form.

[Brian Green]

Tradition.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

It's loofahs.

[Brian Green]

Loofahs?

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Yes. You put colored loofah on your golf cart. Because, by the way, like the little mesh ones. Yes, the little mesh ones. Yes. And different colors mean different things. Like, blue is like, I'm. I just watch. Green is. Go for it. I'm ready. I'm ready to take you right now. Yellow is, you know, we're cautiously.

[Brian Green]

We like to pee.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

We like golden showers.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Yes. Yellow is I have bladder incontinence, so I may directly or indirectly be on you. Red is, I don't know, can't get it up. But I'm still here for the action. I don't know. There's a bunch of different.

[Brian Green]

There's a key, some.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

There's a key somewhere. I guess it goes around in an email chain. Now, lots of people online. There's also. There's a whole ecosystem of like 55 and over. Bloggers and podcasters who do, you know, villages content. Like serious villages, like villages news. The villages news. Crab apples, wshit. And some of them will say, no, I haven't seen any evidence of that. But then there's plenty of people who do have evidence of it. Video evidence of people putting. Hanging these loofahs. And so I came across this channel. This guy is far from 55 plus. He's probably not even 35.

[Brian Green]

I don't imagine a manager. I used to have a newspaper I worked for.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Oh, really? Maybe that's your old newspaper manager. Maybe he's down doing villages. Hey, Lance. Anyway, he's down in the villages. He has a channel called 55 and over on YouTube. I guess he's a young guy doing content for people that are 55 and over. You know, I can see the. I can see the angle there. He seems to be down at the villages a lot. And there's a lot of people who go down to the villages, like younger folks who go down to the villages to hang out on a Friday or Saturday night. Why? I don't know, but I guess the good drugs are there.

[Brian Green]

Well, sure, there's that.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

There's that. So he's got a video. Are the Rumors True? Is basically the title of the video. He's going to go around, talk to some people about some of the rumors that fly around the community. I thought we would watch it because we got to know where we're getting ourselves involved in.

[Brian Green]

We do.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

I don't. I need to know what color loofah we're going to put on our golf cart. Well, I'm going to put on my golf. We're going to have separate golf carts.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, we'll have separate ones.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

I'll probably be.

[Brian Green]

I'll decorate mine differently.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Yeah, I'll probably be like a rainbow. And that way just know that I'm up for anything. I'm all about it. I'm cautious.

[Brian Green]

Just invite me.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Yes, just tell me. All right, let's take a listen to this. We're in the Villages today, Brownwood Square. And we haven't done this video in a while. We're going to ask people. Worst part about the villages. Best part of the villages. We're gonna ask people.

[Brian Green]

His microphone says road.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

It's road. It's a Roadcaster microphone. Explore55Plus. I'm sorry, that's Explore55Plus.com. I'll give him a shout out. Explore55Plus on YouTube. Are the rumors true? Let's go have a couple drinks. Gotta get lubed up for this one because it is not an easy thing to go around. Just asking people. No pun intended.

[Brian Green]

I think there was.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Are they a couple? Maybe. Maybe they're a couple. Maybe he's dating somebody that lives in the villages. I don't know.

[Brian Green]

He's a young, good looking guy. Yeah, huh?

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

And wearing a Hawaiian shirt.

[Brian Green]

Yeah.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

I could see how a guy would be into this. An older lady. A sexy older lady living at the Villages. Drive your golf cart around all day, play golf courses, live off Social Security for the next couple years while they're still around, that kind of stuff. So we're gonna grab a beer and she's kind of hungry, so maybe an appetizer. And then I think they are a couple. I think I'm getting that vibe. I don't know, the way that they're acting with each other. It is Florida rolling on this interview. Let's do it. Whoa. Those girls aren't 55 years old. No. All right, all right, all right. What's your name?

[Brian Green]

First Megan. Batman.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

You could tell just by the way. By the way he's talking to a lady in a golf cart. Oh, they. That's the thing down in the villages.

[Brian Green]

You have to.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Yeah, of course. Just like Peachtree City, everybody has a golf cart. And if you want to have some fun online one day, go to YouTube and do villages golf cart accidents and watch all the accidents on videotape of people just drunk, just driving into each other. One guy hits another guy head on and an old dude just flies out of the golf cart, maybe 10 or 15ft. He's okay. But it is really fun.

[Brian Green]

Insurance industry.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Down there for sure. And I bet that there is one golf cart salespeople. That salesperson that has cracking it up a huge McMansion because of this Megan Beckman. Ban, bang, ban. Oh, she's sitting on the golf cart and she's, like, leaned over in a way that only an old drunk lady does. Good to meet you. All right, well, what's your favorite part about the Villages?

[Brian Green]

I'm happier.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

You seem happy.

[Brian Green]

Yes, she does.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

You seem miserable. Awesome. Yep.

[Brian Green]

People are nice. Some idiots, but there are more people that are nice. Yeah, well, it's better than being at home.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Yeah, it's. It's a very cool lifestyle. What's. Why don't you like the. The cars after four, I say take up the room.

[Brian Green]

You gotta wait for them to leave. And people are wolf.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Yeah, like you get forever. This is exactly what I would imagine the Villages would be. An old lady drunk on a golf cart, bitching about everything. And she found a way to complain about her retirement in beautiful central Florida in basically the Disney World. For people over 55 years old. This, by the way, this place is immaculately clean. Beautiful. It's a. It's. It's made up by Disney engineers. I have to imagine park behind the buildings. Why they gotta park here? Golf carts and cars. Now look at them. Look all the way from the end. There's more golf carts. So rumor has it you have golf cart jams. I'm here 10 years. What do you love about it? Well, I like the activity. I like this music, restaurants. People most of the time are very nice. What I don't like, I like hiding in the closet and watching my wife get pounded from behind. I'm here 10 years. I'm here 10 years old job every night. That's right. Flavor. Save it. Sniff it. Scratch it. Sniff is people parking in handicap spots. That's not supposed to. And then you get people that park right in the blue spots, and nobody can go up the ring. How did this guy manage to get into a conversation for three minutes and already everyone's complained about everything?

[Brian Green]

Yeah.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

He's asking you what's nice about the villages, and you're talking about the helicopter spots. Everyone in the village is this handicap. So there's a lot of that going on, and they just don't care, you know? But otherwise, I mean, it's a beautiful place and they're not cheap on stuff. When they do something, they do it top notch. Yeah, that I got.

[Brian Green]

The woman in the background's like, she can barely hold herself up.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

One more G and T. Mommy. Someone took her golf cart away. That's why she sitting there. And by the way, did you notice it's just a row of golfers?

[Brian Green]

Oh, yeah.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

And she's at the end and she's just slouched in a down. I mean, she's really just like slouching the way only a drunk lady, a drunk person would. And then there's two dudes just grab their lawn chairs. Yeah, just grab their lawn chairs to sit next to the drunk.

[Brian Green]

And they're like in some kind of parking lot. Obviously that's where the cars and golf carts are parking.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Yeah, he's bitching about people parking in the handicap spot. Meanwhile, he's taking up an entire spot with his chair. Oh, the blue fin gr. This looks good, Chrissy. Yeah, put this on the list of places we got to check out. So. So what we're doing primarily is we're going to do the reverse snowbird bird situation. When I initially came down here, I thought, oh man, you know, but when I initially came down here I thought, ah, I'm still 20 year olds. What do. I don't belong down here. Look at my hair. I paid a lot for this. Ah. But now, now I found just as much here as I did anywhere else, so I'm good. Look at my dentures. I love it, brother. I mean, you got 106 pools, right? You got kicking weather. Hey, I highly recommend this place, man. It is easy going. It really is. This is going to be me walking around with sunglasses.

[Brian Green]

Oh, yeah. A little gold chain.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Trying to make.

[Brian Green]

You'll have a little shell.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Yeah, I'm gonna have. Yeah, A little conch shell.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, yeah.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

A hemp necklace. It smells. It's growing mold. Staphylococcus. I'll be getting scarlet fever. It's probably where I got scarlet fever is from my hemp necklace. Trying to make cool with the kids. Hey, brother, weather's kicking. Weather's kicking. It's Florida. It's miserable. I like the. I like this summer bird instead of the snowbird because it gets busy. This is almost the time to be down here, man. You don't need a reservation, bro. Right, right, bro. That looks like Guy Fieri's long lost uncle. Yeah, he does look like Guy Fieri, doesn't he? Imagine he has crazy blonde hair coming out of a headband and he's Guy Fieri.

[Brian Green]

One more question.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

This is. Are the rumors true? Oh, I have no idea. I have read about your loofah situation. Ah, see a little bit of anecdotal confirmation there, Chrissy, but other than that, I have no idea.

[Brian Green]

We're just new for that.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Yeah, I got too cute of a bride for 32 years anyway, man. So Hell with it. So hell with the loofah. Yeah, like you've never strayed. Come on, dude. You don't wear a gold chain like that unless you've been to a few strip clubs on Tuesday night. Well, plus she's buying dinner tonight. Did you just grab his dick?

[Brian Green]

He did.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

He just grabbed his dick. Plus she's buying dinner. Ding dong.

[Brian Green]

A little adjustment there.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

He just rang the bell. Ding dong. That was so funny. I wish every time I grabbed my dick, I just. That noise would come out.

[Brian Green]

Have it quickly on your phone.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

I know. Look at that. Look at that.

[Brian Green]

Wow. That is sprawling.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

There's an aerial shot of the villages. It's amazing. It's amazing. It's a European village. That's what it is.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. Looks like they're going around and interviewing people in some kind of little square.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Square. Town square. I. I read that they have like 22 different town squares.

[Brian Green]

Got to.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Yeah, you got to dissipate that traffic. You can't have just one look at these golf carts. That's a $80,000 golf cart. Probably. It's for those of you that don't know. It is fashioned. It's a golf cart, but it's fashioned after an old Rolls Royce and so it looks like a mini roll. That is crazy. What's your guys names first? What's your guises? Guys' is not a word. Can we stop that? Nancy and Dennis. Great to meet you, Nancy and Dennis. All right, so best part about the villages, a variety of activities. I mean, you could do things from. You can fuck on a Tuesday, you can fuck on a Wednesday. You can get it from behind, from the front. It's just a smorgasbord of activities. Morning until late at night every day and do something different. It's very good. How long have you guys lived? Lived here about two months. It's two months.

[Brian Green]

Well, they're not in the lifestyle yet.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Not yet. Lived up to everything so far for the two months. Exactly. Yeah, definitely. I would add to that the restaurants. The restaurants here are fantastic. It's hard to find a bad one. Yeah, you don't have taste buds at that age. You don't know. Old people don't have great. You know what I'm saying? Do you know what I'm saying?

[Brian Green]

I guess. I mean, does your taste goes as you get older?

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Nothing. Your taste goes. By the way, Astrid and I read something that the flora and fauna inside of your gut and inside of your mouth changes completely every seven years.

[Brian Green]

Seven years. Yeah.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

And so people get different tastes for different things over time, which you might like when you're younger. And I can totally agree with this. Listen, cream and cereal. About every seven years, I almost die of calcium overdose from cream and cereal. But I just. My experience eating in with the older folks in my own life, and I'm not even talking about 55 plus, let's say in your 70s 90s, is that they don't like the. The food doesn't have to particularly taste good. And then they say, oh, this is so delicious. And I think to myself, are you tasting the same thing that I am? Because this is not anything close to what I would consider delicious. Anyway, whatever. That's a different conversation. I'll talk about it off air. Chrissy. Oh, very good. And you can ride your golf cart to them. And there's tons of options. There's so much here. It's a matter of what do you want to do or. Or not. Do you just. You can sit and relax or go do a. Everything you want and different variations of things like tennis and then there's paddle. Paddle ball, pickleball. How's the weather been in the. The summer heat? Get to the rumors about the loofah.

[Brian Green]

We need to know more about the loofahs.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Well, we know it's heat. It was interesting.

[Brian Green]

They don't look like loofah people. I'm just saying, you know, what does.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

A loofah person look like? I've seen them in all different flavors and forms.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, they just look a little like, prim and proper and nice.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Listen, when I went to the sex party, I'm telling you, while the majority of them were young chiropractors, there was a couple guys that looked like this, mainly hanging out in the corner with their microven. You know, just a looker. I had a. I had a yellow. I would have had a yellow.

[Brian Green]

Like, it's a maybe.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

No, just like. Just here to.

[Brian Green]

To observe.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Just here to observe. Maybe later online at the best things of Florida and the Worst things of Florida. The heat was in both categories. It was interesting. But yeah, it's. It's summertime. So what? It's hot. I'm a regular character, so it's free. Thank you, guys. Have a good one. Appreciate it. See, he. They want to ask the questions, but they're not asking the questions. Yeah, you just got to go do it. But I can understand you're at the Villages. This is your girlfriend. You don't want to get kicked out. You don't want to be that guy who's known for asking like you don't be the Howard Stern of the villages. You know what I'm saying?

[Brian Green]

Or do you?

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Or do. I would.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, why not?

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

I care if I own the property. What can they do? I guess they kick you out. I guess. The HOA there has got to be.

[Brian Green]

A son of a bit on point.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

I have read that it is like iron fisted HOA and it is still owned and run and managed and granted developed by the sons of the same guy who had this idea in the first place.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, you got to keep your eye on that. I don't know all these people.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Yeah, I don't see what's to lose here living in a situation like this, if I'm being honest. You go down, it is warm weather besides the crazy hot weather. You live in a place where there's a lot of people your own age, there's a lot of activities. It keeps you young and fresh and keep, keep going. And so far we've seen just as many young people as we have older folks. So you're down there. It's just like you're living in a regular place, only at night. It's mostly people your age up, you know, living. Yeah, living and living and dying. There's probably a lot of ambulances running around, but okay. Do they do golf cart ambulances? My question, are the rumors true? Do they have golf cart hearse? By the way, I laugh and like in a decade, this is where I'm staying. I know, I know. All right, let's take a break. We'll be back. You make this rather snappy, won't you? I have some very heavy thinking to do before 10 o'. Clock.

[Brian Green]

Hi, cats and kittens. Rachel here. Do you ever get the urge to speak endlessly into the void like Brian? Well, I've got just the place for you to do that. 212-4333. TCB. That's 212-433-3822. Feel free to call and yell all you want. Tell Brian I need a race compliment Chrissy's innate ability to put up with all his shenanigans or tell us a little story. The juicier the better. By the way, we love to hear your voice because Lord knows we're done listening to ourselves. Also, give us a follow on your favorite socials at the commercial break on Insta TCB podcast on TikTok. And for those of you who like to watch. Oh, that came out wrong. We put all the episodes out on video YouTube.com thecommercial break and tcbpodcast.com for all the info on the show, your free sticker, or just to see how pretty we look. Okay, I gotta go now. I've got a date with my dog. No, seriously. Axl needs food. Today is pork chop day.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

I'm Brett Podolski, co founder of the Farmer's Dog. We make fresh, real food for dogs. It sounds so simple, and it is. But for decades, pet food companies have spent billions of dollars advertising that ultra processed pellets are what we should be feeding our dogs every single day. My experience with my own dog, Jada, made me realize that there was another way. For years, Jada had constant issues. Can I talk about poops on the radio? I tried everything until a veterinarian recommended I feed her fresh food. It was a complete turnaround. That's why we started the Farmer's Dog. So every dog could experience the benefits of a truly healthy diet. Hit. It's not fancy. It's just fresh, whole food delivered right to your door, pre portioned for your dog's unique needs. It's better for them and easier for you.

[Brian Green]

Get 50% off your first box at the farmersdog.com trial. 50. That's thefarmersdog.com trial 50. Big moments or small moments, they all deserve great style. At Maurices, we're here to help you show up feeling your best, no matter what's on your calendar. Whether it's a date night, a special event, or just another Tuesday, our over 800 stylists are here to help. From tried and true denim to head turning looks, we've got style that fits your life and your budget. Visit your local Maurices to find fashion fit for you. With a little help from us.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Yeah. Chrissy and I are wondering what the relationship is between these two. And I suspect there's a relationship going on here just because at the beginning of the video, they were really handsy with each other. And I don't. I don't know, they weren't kissing each other, but they were still kind of handsy in a way that I don't.

[Brian Green]

Think that's how mom and I just noticed a hug. But.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Okay, let's keep it. Let's keep going. Maybe we'll get more clues as well. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. All right, here's the next couple that they're gonna.

[Brian Green]

Let's put a pin in it.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Let's put a pin in it. There's a lot of synergy around here. Let's put a pin in it. We'll circle back after this meeting. Let's take this offline. Chrissy, you take this offline. If I hear that phrase one more time, I hope I never hear that. Walk with me. Yeah, walk with me. Let's take this offline. Let's set up a separate meet for this conversation. Let's not. How about an email?

[Brian Green]

Oh, there's the Barnstorm theater.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Yeah. Oh, I want you to notice something very interesting about this. Look behind the barn. Do you see that they have a big wall that is painted to appear as if it's the sky. Yeah. That is what they call forced perspective and that is something that Disney does.

[Brian Green]

Really?

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Yeah. They make it look like the utility buildings and all the other stuff are part of the landscape by tricking your eye. And that's very interesting. So it is Disney esque in a way, I guess. Nice to meet you guys. So Greg actually doesn't live in the village. Villages lives nearby and kind of enjoys coming over, but doesn't necessarily want to live full time. Yeah, that. I mean, I mean it's exactly. Yeah, you're putting words in my mouth and beer in my mouth. So I'll talk to you a little bit longer.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, you pay for it.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Yeah, I mean I, I love it here. I love what there is to do in the music. But all the golf carts and all of that, I kind of like my quiet time. I come over here for the cuckolding. I come over here with my wife and watch her get pounded. Absolutely. We get feedback from a lot of people and some people love that and then other people think like that's a little bit overwhelming. So it's not uncommon to feel that way too, you know? Yeah. I've looked, you know, in here for four years, thought it's where I wanted to be. But I don't know, the newness wore off, you know, and I really thought about it and then she lives here full time. Yes, she does. What do you love about it? Hate about it? I love it because there's always something to do.

[Brian Green]

Oh, she looks saucy.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

She looks like the kind of girl that gets you in trouble on any night of the week. Yes. I just picked up golf.

[Brian Green]

I really am surprised on how much I like it. But you really have to want to do things.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

But I'm getting used to it. I'm still on the fence a little bit.

[Brian Green]

Guess you can just walk around and drink there.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Why not? I think it's kind of like its own little world down there. I don't think anybody really cares if you're drinking and driving. There's gotta be Police officers that come onto the property. Obviously there's no place in the United States of America where a police officer can't come, except for Indian reservations, but still, I mean, you know, it doesn't look like there's much worry by any of these people just drinking in the golf cart, hanging out here full time.

[Brian Green]

But it's. It's really something else.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Thank you, guys. What about the loofahs? Enjoy the song. Enjoy the song. Enjoy this.

[Brian Green]

Is that Margaritaville again?

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Yeah, of course it is. This is a stream of hits, I'm telling you. It's going to be Pearl Jam, Alice in Chains, Cranberries when we get up there. Okay, we have enough of the rolling. Let's move on to another song. Honestly, can we pick another song? Let's introduce them first. So we got waved over by these folks because they. They recognize us from our channel.

[Brian Green]

Yes, these are celebrities. We know them. We feel like we know them because.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

They'Ve been in our living room. Oh, look at them. Yeah, I feel like they know. I feel like we know them because they've been in our living room on my Only Fans channel. Only fans. Not old White Pete. They're. They're famous in Texas.

[Brian Green]

They're famous in Texas.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

So you guys are staying in the village of Texas? Says now this is in Florida, but they live in Texas. You've rented a house, and you're kind of scoping the area out so far. What are your thoughts?

[Brian Green]

We love it.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

We love it.

[Brian Green]

We love it.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

We love it too much.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, we love it. Everything is just so nice, so clean.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Everybody's so friendly. If you get drunk on a Tuesday afternoon, is there anything that. By the way, this is probably 9:30am on a Wednesday.

[Brian Green]

Oh, yeah, definitely.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

People thought, like, I don't know about that. Like, you didn't like. Not so sure about the crowds. We're not so sure that the amenities that they have that are more than others are worth the price for the crowd. When we were here before, it was fallish, getting in toward the winter, and it was already starting to get crowded. Why don't you pick an area that's louder when you do these interviews, Little background music would help this video out.

[Brian Green]

Well, it seems like that music's playing really loud no matter where they go.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Oh, geez, am I old? Because I'm like, this is obnoxious.

[Brian Green]

Isn't too crowded. That's the main thing. Everything else we love.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

So have you guys looked anywhere else in central Florida?

[Brian Green]

Well, I think we're gonna look at.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

On top of the World.

[Brian Green]

And maybe the Villages at Citrus Hills.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

You guys toodle around and enjoy yourselves. Don't overthink. Cuddle around. Put a loofah. Put a loofah in the window. Dig your micro penis out tonight. Cause I'm gone. Gone in the closet. Take a listen to my wife. Yeah. Pleasure to meet you guys.

[Brian Green]

All right, the next one better be talking.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Yeah, There would be something about a loofah here. The conversation about the complete me. Completely misleading. Completely misleading. That's my wife calling me. But we're gonna get on with this. But you've decided the Villages. Why the Villages over Okala.

[Brian Green]

I like that, but it's all 55 plus, so. And I liked On Top of the World, but I felt like it was just not as active as the Villages. I just did a lot of research, and I've been watching some videos, and I really liked the Villages. So I brought them with me, and we're doing.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Whoa.

[Brian Green]

Hello.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Holy shit. Okay, older lady. Well put together. Looking nice as everybody in this video has, by the way. Not a ton of diversity down at the Villages. I've noticed this. Haven't seen a person, a black person anywhere in these videos in the background or anything, but I'm. I'm sure they're there. I just don't see it. But I will say so. He pans over to the side to show the people that the ladies that she's with. It is three lovely young ladies that could not be. None of them older than 25 years old.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, the visit together.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Yes. Yes. Well, the fun part is this way.

[Brian Green]

You can experience it.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

And you're waiting two years to retire, so. So it's the perfect time to start and learn.

[Brian Green]

I really love the golf carts. This is truly a golf cart community. And I'm learning how to drive the golf cart. She's learning. I'm learning.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

I'm learning where to take the loofah. You're learning how to drive a golf cart. You've never driven a car. Yeah, it's actually easier than a car. There's no stick, no windshield wipers. I mean, some of the fancy ones do. It is pedal and brake. Pedal and brake.

[Brian Green]

I scared them a little bit, but I am learning. But there have been some not so friendly people. But there have been been some very friendly people as well, so that.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Well, that's what you get when you get a bunch of.

[Brian Green]

Well, a ton of people.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Yeah, you get a ton of people. You're always gonna have an asshole in the crowd. And then, you know, listen when you get older, I think some people get more irritable. Not me. Look at me, I'm aging gracefully.

[Brian Green]

Go on the golf carts, because sometimes.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

They'Re in a hurry to get places. They know where they're going and you're.

[Brian Green]

Just retired, wanting to enjoy yourself, learning how to drive it.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Yes. They're probably from Jersey too.

[Brian Green]

There's so many communities and activities and just from our first little tour alone that we had, it was. It was really. She's the daughter.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

And then, yeah, I gotta imagine they're either all daughters or friends. But I haven't heard nothing about a loofah. And that's what I want to hear about. And I imagine that all the people with loofahs are probably somewhere else. What I read also is that there are clubs, like there are swingers clubs, and that you can get involved in those clubs. And then the loofahs indicate something regarding the clubs and that this kind of got out because, you know, some Lucy Lips people in the clubs were talking about why they put loofahs on their car.

[Brian Green]

Drunk.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Drunk for sure. Everybody down there so far seems drunk. But that's okay.

[Brian Green]

I mean, totally.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

I want to repeat what I've said.

[Brian Green]

I'm just saying it was a drunk person who let loose. Of course, the info, it was. Yeah, it was her.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

I want to share our philosophy. And we've had this for a long time, since way at the beginning of the show when we learned that there were grandmas in Eastern Europe and Yugoslavia that were gacking lines down at every party. I think it makes sense to explore safely and responsibly when you're young, when it comes to chemicals and alcohol and all that, right? Then put yourself together in your late twenties, get your shit together, be a responsible human, responsible adult. Have kids, get married, do whatever you want to do in that period of time. Then when you get to retirement age, not 55, 65, 70 years old, just hit it as fucking hard as you can. Gack those lines. Smack that smack, smoke that crack, get it out, wild out. Because let's be honest, there's a reason why people do drugs. And it's not cuz it doesn't feel good. It's cuz it does feel good. Well then, then there comes addiction. Then it doesn't feel good. But who cares after. After 75, really? I mean, honestly, am I gonna care? No. If I go, that's how I go.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, I guess so.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Brian Green, former mediocre comedy podcaster with over 7200 episodes, dies of crack overdose in the Villages in Florida at age 88. Yeah. Byline no one cares. At age 88 after a long bout with heroin addiction, After a long string of arrests for heroin addiction, crystal meth, crystal meth production and heroin addiction, I'm gonna become Heisenberg. Irredeemable in my old age. Just a miserable son of a bit. Yeah, I want to be the Heisenberg of the villages. I think this is what makes sense for me. Listen, I'm not encouraging anybody to do drugs. I actually take it very seriously. Addiction's a terrible thing. It's a terrible thing. Ruins lives, kills people. It's terrible. But there is something seemingly.

[Brian Green]

There's something appealing. Appealing. Saying fuck it. When you're old and just going and getting it.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

It's not, it's not a. Nothing seems appealing about that at this point in my life. Because I have other human beings that I'm responsible for and I'd like to clear headedly take care of those people and make sure that I interact with them in a loving way, in a meaningful way. That there's some purpose to what I'm doing with them, some motivation and some drive that doesn't come from Vicodin, do you know what I'm saying?

[Brian Green]

But yeah, you got lessons to teach and.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

Things human beings to. To grow.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Exactly. But when they get older.

[Brian Green]

Yeah.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

And they're able to start to understand what I'm saying on the commercial break and they really get embarrassed of me and eventually flee from the state to get away from me. What else is there except for drugs? And if there's a market, maybe that's a way where we can make some money.

[Brian Green]

Exactly.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Listen, we've already heard it.

[Brian Green]

We can have a little delivery service in the golf cart.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Oh, you know they have it. You know they have it.

[Brian Green]

Yeah.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

D. Yeah. D Remember that cab driver? He's probably down in the Villages. I had a cab driver, older guy. He was well over 55 when I met him. And I met him one night because my. Because I'm like. Because I met him one night and I. Yeah, well, no, I thought, I thought that's what we were doing was just getting a cab. Little did I know that the person that we were in the cab with knew the cab driver and there was a whole transaction that went down. Yeah, I knew the guy for 10 years. I never once saw his face. I saw his sunglasses in the rear view mirror. He'd. He had a bunch of newspapers. He'd dig around the newspapers. He'd give it to you whatever you needed. He was a literal Whole Foods of narcotics. And whatever you needed, you'd call him up, he'd swing on by as fast as he could get there and he'd give you a lift if you needed one. That was it. There's a market for really, really nice guy. His name is Bobby. Bobby. Bobby the cab driver. And I always have wondered, whatever happened to Bobby the cab driver? Did he get busted? Did he go to jail? Is he still driving that cab around?

[Brian Green]

He's down in the villages.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

I'm gonna call him later. Yeah, now it's gotten for my anniversary. Hey, Bobby, you got some ecstasy in Viagra I can bar? He's down to Villages and he's got a little taxi cab and a golf cart and he's driving around with all those damn newspapers everywhere. He had newspapers from 1972. That dude hoarded newspapers in front seat of his cab. It was like his friend the newspapers, but he knew exactly where, where it was based on. He would dig in the newspapers and they'd pull out whatever 10 Vicodin, cocaine and whatever you need it. So if there's an opportunity to make some money while I'm in the throes of addiction.

[Brian Green]

Yeah.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

In my retirement community, I think we have the best of all worlds. When, when it's win, win, win, I continue to be an idiot. I, I, you know, quicken up my own demise. And I give people what they're looking for, they're going to buy it from somebody.

[Brian Green]

I mean, that's how Walter got started really. Where he got the cancer diagnosis.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

That's right. Yeah, he got the cancer diagnosis. He said, fuck it, fuck it, fuck it. If I'm gonna die, I'm gonna leave my family with money.

[Brian Green]

Yeah.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

A very, in my opinion, a very.

[Brian Green]

Noble cause in the beginning.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

I mean, there is no honor amongst thieves. But at the end of the day, it felt like a noble cause. We could all.

[Brian Green]

The problem was he did it too early in life. He had to wait till late.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

He had, he had to wait till late. Even though I think he was. I don't know how old he was in that show, but, but he was.

[Brian Green]

Like in his 40s.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Oh, he was. Did you see that thing that I posted the other day about the TV characters, the people who played the famous TV characters that are all, not all of them, but some of them are much younger than we are now.

[Brian Green]

Oh, yes, yes, I know. Isn't that crazy?

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Makes me so sad. And then I Wonder, how is Mr. Roper 42 years old in three's company. That guy looked 90.

[Brian Green]

He did.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

He looked 90.

[Brian Green]

Well, there were two, weren't there?

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

The first, Mr. Roper. Don Knotts.

[Brian Green]

Don Knotts was old.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

He was, yeah. Yeah, I think. I don't really know.

[Brian Green]

I mean, he was in black and white movies. He was in the freaking Andy Griffith Show.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

He was in the Andy Griffiths Show.

[Brian Green]

He was. Barney.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

I think Andy Griffith was black and white by choice. I think they did have color TV back then. I just. I don't know either. Yeah, and then he was. Yeah. Andy Griffith Show. If you grew up in Atlanta and you knew that the Andy Griffith show was on repeat for four hours a day on that damn TNT or whatever.

[Brian Green]

Well, there was always Nickelodeon too, that would replay those.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Nick at night. Yeah, yeah, Nick at night. Okay. Anyway, listen, the Villages, we didn't get to the bottom of anything.

[Brian Green]

We're going to need to do some more investigating.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

I have one question. I say F minus on the interviewing here. It's just like that review of something that we did one time. Remember? We did a review of the Swingers resort?

[Brian Green]

Yeah, it was the boat, the crew, the boat.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Yeah. Swingers reviews are just in general bad. We need a good Swingers reviewer. I don't know the world, so I don't think I'd be the greatest. But if you want to bring me down to the villages 55 plus and over, or whatever the channel's name is, I'll ask the tough question. You can drink the beer. How's that? We'll make that deal. I'm gonna ask these girls. Hey, hey. The 20 somethings. Hey, are you into swinging? Anyway. Okay. Happy anniversary, Astrid. Oh, what's that? What am I doing? I can't take a break. We've already done the show.

[Brian Green]

Happy anniversary.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Happy anniversary, Astrid. You have this to look forward to in one short decade. For now, maybe a little bit longer, but not too much. Not too much past that. We're going down to the Villages, babe. Actually, I think about it. My kids won't even be out of elementary school in a decade. What am I talking about? I'll be at the villages when I'm 90. Oh, I'm not gonna get to enjoy this 55 plus community because my kids will be 5 plus when I turn 55 plus F.

[Brian Green]

Well, that pushes you later to get there, which was what I was saying made it happen.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Yeah, that's true. I don't have to live there for a while before I go into the throws of addiction. I just go, bam, bam, bam, bam. Move down, buy a crystal Meth pipe the very next day.

[Brian Green]

Get yourself set up.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Get myself set up. I'm just gonna walk into one of the squares and be like, who's got Matt? I just see a bunch of old people, like raising their heads with a quizzical look and then five or six hands going up. Doesn't seem like anyone gives a shit down there.

[Brian Green]

No, no. Each to their own down there.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Each their own. All right, if you're listening to this on the day that it was released, then you will know because we, we have constantly reminded you that our merch goes on sale tomorrow, Friday, August 8th, through the 22nd. That's a two week window. You pre order it, then it gets made, it gets sent, shipped off to you. Free sticker with every single purchase. Hats, T shirts, university sweaters, hoodies. We're super excited about this and we know that a lot of you are too. So you know, hey, listen, if you can support the show and you want to rock the merch, please do. And if not, that's okay too. You know, I, I don't want to sound too pitchy, but we're excited about it.

[Brian Green]

So yeah, we're just excited. We said, hey, if nobody else buys it, we'll buy it.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

We'll buy it.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, we want to just, we'll give.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

It away to other people, people who don't listen to the show.

[Brian Green]

We'll finance it.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Yeah, we'll finance it. That's all right. Go down to the villages and hand out somewhere. That's right. Shop tcb podcast.com that's shop tcb tcbpodcast.com Friday, August 8th go buy your merch. 212-4333 tcb 212-433-3822 at the commercial break on Instagram. Okay, Chrissy, that's all I can do for now.

[Brian Green]

I think so.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

I'll tell you that I love you.

[Brian Green]

I love you.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Best to you. Best to you out there in the podcast universe. Until next time, Chrissy and I will say, we do say, and we must say goodbye.

[Brian Green]

Epic views, waterfall M summit, sunsets. It's all better outside and with alltrails you can discover the best of nature with over 450,000 trails around the world. Download the free app today and find your next adventure. Ready to level up. Chumba Casino is your playbook to fun. It's free to play with no purchase necessary. Enjoy hundreds of online social games like blackjack, slots and solitaire anytime anywhere with fresh releases every week, whether you're at home or on the go. Let Chumba Casino bring the excitement to you. Plus, get free daily login bonuses and a free welcome bonus Bonus Join now for your chance to redeem some serious prizes. Play Chumba Casino today. No purchase necessary. VGW Group voidware prohibited by law 21 TNCs apply. Get smoother, brighter skin instantly in one easy step, Dermalogica's Daily Microfoliant gives you the smooth, glowy skin you want without damaging your skin barrier. This gentle exfoliating powder activates with water to smooth out rough texture and brighten skin. It's powerful enough to deliver results results, yet gentle enough to use every single day, even on sensitive skin. See the results for yourself. Visit dermalogica.com and use code Smooth at cart for an exclusive free gift with 65 purchase.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Saving.