Et cetera, Et cetera, Et cetera!

Summary

Episode Summary: "Et cetera, Et cetera, Et cetera!"

Release Date: February 28, 2025
Podcast: The Commercial Break
Hosts: Bryan Green and Krissy Hoadley

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1. Introduction to the Episode

In this episode of The Commercial Break, hosts Bryan Green and Krissy Hoadley delve into a mix of serious discussions and comedic banter, maintaining their signature chaotic and unpolished charm. The episode's title, "Et cetera, Et cetera, Et cetera!", aptly reflects the hosts' tendency to meander through various topics with humor and irreverence.

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2. Asteroid YR24: The Impending Doom That Wasn't

The episode kicks off with Chris Hoadley bringing up alarming news about an asteroid named YR24, initially believed to pose a significant threat to Earth.

• Chris Hoadley [03:03]:
  "I was going to tell you this so that we could all freak out and hide under our beds... But I just read that it's now a 0% chance that it's going to hit Earth. So that is good news."

The conversation explores the psychological impact of such news and the potential for mass hysteria if the threat were real. Chris reflects on how knowledge of impending doom could disrupt daily life and societal norms.

• Chris Hoadley [06:00]:
  "If someone said, 'You're gonna die at 89 years old,' well, then I just, you know, make sure I live the best life that I can until such day."

Bryan Green adds to the discussion, emphasizing the unpredictability of asteroid paths and questioning the sudden shift in scientific consensus.

• Bryan Green [10:29]:
  "How did they figure it out in just a couple of days? And why are they now pushing out this particular story?"

The hosts express skepticism towards governmental and scientific agencies, pondering whether information manipulation or hidden agendas are at play.

---

3. Accelerationism and Government Efficiency

The discussion transitions into the concept of accelerationism—the belief that societal breakdowns should be hastened to pave the way for a new order, often driven by influential elites.

• Chris Hoadley [21:10]:
  "This is part of a movement called accelerationism, where some very rich people... want to accelerate it to create an AI-driven, one-world government."

They critique the recent mass firings within governmental agencies, suggesting it might be a deliberate move to destabilize societal structures. The hosts lament the loss of essential public servants who maintain daily operations.

• Chris Hoadley [19:08]:
  "He makes sure the children get... these people are serving small but significant purposes inside."

Bryan Green concurs, advocating for a systematic review of governmental roles to ensure efficiency without sacrificing essential services.

---

4. Hypothetical Scenario: Six Years Until Impact

Imagining a scenario where asteroid YR24 was indeed on a collision course with Earth, the hosts brainstorm on how individuals might react over a six-year notice period.

• Chris Hoadley [11:42]:
  "If you knew the day you were going to die, would you want to know that day?"

• Rachel [14:32]:
  "I think if you had a week, that's one thing, but six years, you gotta thoughtfully plan."

They humorously debate potential behaviors, such as selling possessions, taking extravagant vacations, or embracing carefree lifestyles. The conversation underscores the tension between chaos and order in the face of existential threats.

---

5. Mocking the Pickup Artist (PUA) Boot Camp

In a shift from the serious discourse, the hosts turn their attention to a promotional segment from a PUA boot camp led by Ryan Jumanes. They humorously critique the ineffectiveness and absurdity of such programs.

• Chris Hoadley [27:58]:
  "This is the worst PowerPoint presentation in the history of PowerPoint presentations."

• Bryan Green [34:33]:
  "But you don't have the blueprint for the house or any of the necessary tools."

The duo mocks the over-reliance on scripted techniques and PowerPoint slides, emphasizing that genuine human connection cannot be manufactured through repetitive tactics.

• Chris Hoadley [54:37]:
  "It's not even PowerPoint. It is literally a poster board... This is terrible."

Their playful dissection of the PUA content highlights their comedic approach to dissecting cringe-worthy self-help methods.

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6. Closing Remarks and Final Thoughts

As the episode winds down, the hosts reflect on the tumultuous discussions, blending humor with subtle commentary on societal issues. They encourage listeners to engage with the podcast community and share their experiences, maintaining the show's interactive and informal vibe.

• Chris Hoadley [64:46]:
  "2124-3333-3822-2124-3, 33. TCB, questions, comments, concerns, content, ideas. We take them all at that phone number."

Joy Hoadley adds a comedic touch while promoting the show's online presence and merchandise, wrapping up the episode on a light-hearted note.

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Notable Quotes:

1. Chris Hoadley [03:03]:
   "I just read that it's now a 0% chance that it's going to hit Earth. So that is good news."

2. Bryan Green [10:29]:
   "How did they figure it out in just a couple of days? And why are they now pushing out this particular story?"

3. Chris Hoadley [21:10]:
   "This is part of a movement called accelerationism, where some very rich people... want to accelerate it to create an AI-driven, one-world government."

4. Chris Hoadley [54:37]:
   "It's not even PowerPoint. It is literally a poster board... This is terrible."

---

Conclusion

"Et cetera, Et cetera, Et cetera!" exemplifies The Commercial Break's unique blend of humor, skepticism, and candid conversation. Through discussions ranging from potential asteroid threats to mocking ineffective self-help programs, Bryan and Krissy engage listeners with their relatable banter and insightful musings. Whether tackling serious topics or indulging in comedic critiques, this episode offers a quintessential glimpse into the show's eclectic and entertaining format.

Transcript

[Brian Green]

Yeah, sure thing.

[Chris Hoadley]

Hey, you sold that car yet? Yeah, sold it to Carvana. Oh, I thought you were selling to that guy. The guy who wanted to pay me in foreign currency. No interest over 36 months. Yeah, no. Carvana gave me an offer in minutes, picked it up and paid me on the spot. It was so convenient. Just like that? Yeah. No hassle? None. That is super convenient.

[Rachel]

Sell your car to Carvana and swap Hassle for convenience.

[Chris Hoadley]

Pickup fees may apply.

[Corey Lewin Dicklas]

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[Chris Hoadley]

Back by popular demand and for one night only. Crabapple's number one Michael Jackson impersonator Corey Lewin Dicklas. Feel the rhythm, feel the beat Feel that magic right in your feet with Corey. Don't close your eyes and let that rhythm get into you don't try to fight it There ain't nothing that you can do. Relax your mind Lay back in good red mind you're gonna feel that heat. Corey Lewin Dicklas does all 12 Michael Jackson albums back to back to back at the Crabapple Country Club and Karaoke Hall. Get there early and buy your tickets. Now this sell out on this episode of the commercial break. His client is me. Basically his client looks like me and he's talking to a girl who's probably no older than 21 years old. He's probably in his 40s I would imagine. And there is zero chance that this guy is gonna walk away with any of these girls phone numbers. They're entirely too young and pretty.

[Rachel]

Not the real ones.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah, not the real ones. That's tr.

[Brian Green]

After our training, once you have memorized the process, you will then be able to go out on your own and quote, rinse and repeat again. It's just like me being a master chef and, or cook and or baker, et cetera.

[Chris Hoadley]

And you, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. The next episode of the commercial break starts now. 2:30 in the morning. Oh yeah. Cats and kittens, welcome back to the commercial break. I'm Brian Green. This is my dear friend and the co host of this show, Chris and Joy Hoadley. Best to you Chris.

[Rachel]

Best to you Brian.

[Chris Hoadley]

Best of you out there in the podcast universe. Thanks for joining us on this episode, number 700 3000. Thank you very much. Chrissy. I was going to share with you this week that there is an asteroid headed to Earth that is probably going to mean certain doom for all of humanity. It's called asteroid YR24 because it was found in the later part of November of 2024 and scientists says that it had. Scientists were telling us that it had a not zero chance of finding its way to Earth or our moon. So in the direct path of Earth or the moon. Now you're wondering to yourself if you do the math just a little bit, there should be a 0 chance or 100% chance that something should hit the earth. Not a 1% chance. It was like 1 or 2%, 3% at some point. So I was going to tell you this so that we could all freak out and hide under our beds and make a make good on the last six years of living here on Earth. But I just read that it's now a 0% chance that it's going to hit Earth. So that is good news. You heard it here last the commercial break, keeping you informed about all the comings and goings of the asteroid circling around Earth. Just last night I read that it is no longer a threat to humanity. This was a like football field sized asteroid that would have created a crater a mile wide and a lot of drama for those living in or around that particular asteroid. That to me is some of the scariest type of apocalyptic visions that you could have. Accelerationism and something coming from outer space, whether it be aliens or a rock hitting Earth and then certain destruction for all of us. Think about this. I want everybody to take a deep breath. Driving in your car at work, having sex with your girlfriend because we are the best podcast to have sex to.

[Rachel]

And to sleep too.

[Chris Hoadley]

And to sleep too. Probably more to sleep too, but okay, if you're having sex, then I want everyone to take a deep breath and then I want you to think about this for a second. For months and months and months, we look up in the night sky, maybe even the day sky, and we see a growing object getting bigger than our moon as every day goes by. Fiery ball from hell coming toward us. And we have no choice but to suffer the consequences of certain doom like a black cold night for many, many months until we die of starvation. That to me is the scariest kind of apocalyptic vision because we will see it coming and we will see it coming for a long time and we will have nothing, There will be nothing that we can do unless Bruce Willis can get back on the horse and ride again. You know what I'm saying? That's the only way. And scientists have done that too. NASA has done this. They have affected, yes, they have moved a asteroid off its course. But that asteroid was like many, many, many, many, many thousands of miles away. And they were saying that if this particular asteroid yr 24 I k n y k d y not 24, if that asteroid was on its way to Earth, then we did not have time to do anything about it. The time had already passed, so we were fucked. Yeah, six years apparently is not enough time to get that asteroid diversion machine up there. And we would really have to do something like drastic go put a nuclear bomb on it and hope that that diverts it, explodes it, whatever it is. And so this for at least a week was scaring the shit out of me. I was having nightmare visions in my bed, like, wow, my kids aren't that old and we're all going to have to watch as the sky gets dark and we just wait for D day to come along.

[Rachel]

That's crazy to think about.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yes, it is. And so, you know, I was, I was nerved up. I was ready to, you know, go to the red light district, spend the rest of my money, buy Bitcoin, create an nft, create an nft, build that.

[Rachel]

I'm going back to Tulum.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah. Oh shit. What do you do? There's six years left. What do you do?

[Rachel]

I don't know. That's.

[Chris Hoadley]

What do you have on Wild? Well, first of all, the Earth is full of people that aren't well. And so if we really have six years left, I know that it's going to be a total shit show. It'd be nuts if someone came on the radio today or to tell the radio who listens to radio We've been talking about this all week. Off air. Anyway, I don't want to. I don't want to knock radio because, you know, we work for a radio network.

[Rachel]

It's already knocked.

[Joy Hoadley]

We work for a radio network.

[Chris Hoadley]

It's already knocked. Yeah, it's struggling as it is. We don't need to kick it. We don't need to kick it while it's down. So. But if someone came on the television today and they said, you know, president or whoever, and he said, bitcoin asteroid. If Trump came on today and said, unfortunately, we have figured out through mathematical calculations that I clearly did not do that asteroid is headed straight for Pittsburgh and we're all fucked. Yeah, right. It wouldn't take 24 hours before everybody was going loony fucking tune around the world. So for that reason alone, I am sus about this particular article that says it's no longer a threat because I think that people in charge may know better than to actually say that out loud. Yeah, like paradise. They're secretly pulling people into a bunker.

[Rachel]

We need to check in with Neil Degrasse.

[Chris Hoadley]

Neil won't come on the show. I've asked him a couple times.

[Rachel]

Oh, God, I love that man.

[Chris Hoadley]

He said, I'll think about it next time I'm out there doing podcasts. And that was two years ago. Yeah, two years ago. I'd love to have Neil on.

[Rachel]

Oh my God, he's so fascinating.

[Chris Hoadley]

You're the safe place for you, bro. I'd love to hear anything you have to say. You would improve the intelligence of this show by a thousand just by logging on. That's it. That's all you need to do. But you have to think about that. When there is someone saying there is a 1 to 3% chance that an asteroid is going to hit the Earth in 2032 and. And then days later they say, oh, no, just kidding. It's 0, 0% chance. Now, I agree, it is either 0% or 100%. You do the calculations. How is it 1%? Is it going to, like, you know, in space, things fly pretty straight unless they hit something else or gravity pulls them away, right? So you would know, like it's an orbit. You would know. However, it's pretty predictable. However, if someone says there is a chance and then all of a sudden says there isn't a chance, is that just scientists or NASA saying, we really can't let this cat out of the bag? We gotta. Society has gotta function for the next six years because if there is an asteroid heading toward Earth and it's certain doom and gloom. People are gonna go crazy. They're gonna go crazy. Laws be damned. Laws are already be damned. I mean, we're already living in a lawless country in a lot of ways. But then we're gonna need to keep.

[Rachel]

Our eye on the sky. Sounds like I have my eye looking at it last night, actually. Cause there's some planetary thing that's happening right now where you can see.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah, that's not planets, that's Elon Musk's. No, space drones. No.

[Rachel]

But although I did see some satellites.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah, they fly.

[Rachel]

I got this app, Sky View. Skylink.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Rachel]

It's so cool when you hold it up and then you can.

[Chris Hoadley]

And then you can see the constellations, see what you're looking at. Yeah, it's pretty cool because when I was a kid, I was always fascinated by it in the book, but. And then in real life, I could never quite figure out where Orion's belt was. It was. Wasn't clear to me exactly what was Orion's Belt. And my kids are now getting fascinated by this. So I got the app so could look and see. They're still confused about what's going on. I'm still confused about what's going on.

[Rachel]

But you can. It will tell you if it's a satellite.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah. You can see those satellites flying across the sky. And that's my point. That's my point. Okay, I get it. You're out yachting and, you know, you need safe harbor or whatever. Fuck you. So what do you do if there's six years left?

[Rachel]

I mean, a lot.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah, well, tell me, what do we do? What do we get to. What do we get up to if there's six years left?

[Rachel]

I don't know. God, that's tough.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Rachel]

Like, you need money to do stuff.

[Chris Hoadley]

You do, and we don't have any.

[Rachel]

Yeah, yeah.

[Chris Hoadley]

Well, first. First thing, I sell all the equipment in the house. I sell all the equipment and I desperately try and get a real job for six years.

[Rachel]

Right.

[Chris Hoadley]

So that I have some money to feed myself and my children. I don't know.

[Rachel]

Take it like the last year.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah. For the last year of like five years. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then take off the last year. Just really hit it hard. Probably take the kids down to. To Disney a couple times.

[Rachel]

I mean, definitely hitting up Margaritaville again. Listen, and Great Wolf Lodge.

[Chris Hoadley]

I could think of worse places to die than Margaritaville. Do you know what I'm saying? I could not think of worse places to die than Great Wolf Lodge. That's. That's a given. I mean, who wants to die at the Great Wolf Lodge? I know there are people that do, but it's not me. I am not that. There is someone out there who. Who says, that's my perfect. You know, when I was a teenager and I was doing a lot of experimenting with hallucinogens, you know, that can really fuck with your brain. And so I would oftentimes think about, like, apocalypse for whatever reason. What would I do in those circumstances? And then I would talk about that amongst friends. You know, we're all fucked up at night. Where would we go? And all of us always said, disney World. Just head down to Disney World, spend a couple of weeks and then just let the. Let the warm water of death wash over you. Right? Because it's a cool place, it's happy. You got roller coasters, you know, Mickey. Mickey had pretzels and those ice creams you can only buy down there. That pineapple dole whip. That dole whip. I want a dole whip before I die. So that seems like a cool place, but a beach seems like a great place.

[Rachel]

Yeah.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah. I mean, if you're going to be in the shadow of an asteroid and fiery ball from hell coming at you.

[Rachel]

You know, be on the beach, party in the woods. Except on the beach.

[Chris Hoadley]

Party in the woods, except on the beach. Everybody's naked, bonfires everywhere, driving you bananas. You can't sleep because of all the bongo playing, lots of ayahuasca. I mean, you got to have DMT if that, you know.

[Rachel]

Yeah.

[Chris Hoadley]

But I think I'd probably. I think I'd probably pass on the hallucinogens if I actually knew that at the end was near.

[Rachel]

I might. With your head?

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah, that's gonna just. With. It's already gonna with my head, but then it's gonna with my head even more if I'm all fucked up. So, yeah, I'm cashing out everything and I'm just living high on the hog. But then you wonder like, okay, isn't everybody else also going to do that? And then what about the people who make these places so special? The people who work at Disney or the resorts or your favorite beach that are bringing you those fruity cocktails with umbrellas if they know in mere moments our money's going to be no good. Why am I working? Why is everybody else doing this and I'm working for these people? I don't know that I'm going to start, you know, so. It's a tricky proposition.

[Rachel]

It really is. It was six years to think about it.

[Chris Hoadley]

Six years.

[Rachel]

I think if you had a week, that's one thing, but six years, you gotta thoughtfully plan.

[Chris Hoadley]

If you knew the day you were going to die, would you. If you could know that day, would you want to know that day?

[Rachel]

I thought about that before.

[Chris Hoadley]

That's a really fascinating question with so many twists and turns.

[Rachel]

I think no.

[Chris Hoadley]

I think no too.

[Rachel]

But then I guess you could really plan.

[Chris Hoadley]

If you knew the day you were gonna die, there could be. You could have lots. You could say your goodbyes. You could make sure that everything was buttoned up. You could make sure your family was taken care of. Or those last things you wanted to do were, you know, you had done.

[Rachel]

You could plan your party.

[Chris Hoadley]

You could plan your own funeral. Yep, I've already planned my own funeral. If I die tomorrow, don't make a stink. Have a fucking party. Just have a party. That's all I'm asking. Don't make a stink.

[Rachel]

Me too. That's what I want.

[Chris Hoadley]

Have a party. I doubt many tears are gonna be shed. But you know, if anybody starts to.

[Rachel]

Cry, I'll bring in Teresa Caputo.

[Chris Hoadley]

Oh, Theresa Caputo's gotta be there because she's gotta figure out our secret word that we can't remember.

[Rachel]

Nope.

[Chris Hoadley]

Nope.

[Rachel]

I think at one time it was Henry Fonda.

[Chris Hoadley]

It was Henry Fonda.

[Rachel]

Well, we need to ask it.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah. Now we need to update it. Yes.

[Rachel]

Change password.

[Chris Hoadley]

Change password. Please update your password. Yeah, I think that's complicated question with so many different. Like there are. There are causes and effects to knowing the day that you're gonna die. And one of them is like, if someone said, hey, Brian, you're gonna die next month. Yeah, I would be freaking out. Absolutely freaking out. But then I would do my best to get everything done that I needed to get done. Make sure that my family was okay and everything was gonna be fine. Say my goodbyes. But I'd also be incredibly sad, Right. I think about all the things that I'm gonna miss. If someone says you're gonna die at 89 years old, well, then I just, you know, make sure I live the best life that I can until such day. The problem is, if you could know the day that you die, you can't control the day that you die. So if I can't change it, then what am I gonna do? I might as well just not know that way.

[Rachel]

True.

[Chris Hoadley]

I go blissfully unaware into the night as I always do going to sleep. My blood pressure 200 over 70,000. Just hoping that my ticker is still kicking it. Yeah.

[Rachel]

That's all you can do.

[Chris Hoadley]

That's all I can do.

[Rachel]

I mean, it's all those, you know, Instagram quotes that we hear.

[Chris Hoadley]

That's right.

[Rachel]

Live every day to the fullest.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah. Live every day to the fullest.

[Rachel]

Live dear life.

[Chris Hoadley]

You never know when this day, if this day will be your last. Love laugh. Live. Here's my nipple dance. Yes. Here's my double E's. Yes.

[Rachel]

There's my thong.

[Chris Hoadley]

Live. Laugh, love labia.

[Rachel]

That should be insane.

[Chris Hoadley]

Cherish every day as if it was your last. I bleached my asshole. Take a look, Lincoln. Bio link in Bio. AKA N Y K D Y, N. I K, Y, D Y, D Y. Yeah. I mean, you. You. Your life becomes a trope at that point. You just gotta do what you gotta do. It is what it is.

[Rachel]

It is what it is. The heart wants what the heart.

[Chris Hoadley]

The heart wants with. The heart wants and the heart want. Live a couple more days, please. Yeah. They say bargaining is part of grieving. I'd probably bargain. Like, please just give me, like, you know, if someone said, you're going to die next month, I'd be like, give me another month. Like, can I have another month? I'll be really good. I promise. I'll put it together. I'll stop doing the commercial break. I promise I will. No more commercial break amends. Yes. So part of me thinks that. I mean, listen, I am not like the most skeptical media watcher in the world. I don't think that everything is a lie or a conspiracy or whatever. I think that stories are manipulated. I think that PR people are. Yeah, I think the PR people do their job. The media does their job of slanting the conversation one way or the other to suit whatever agenda they happen to have, personally, organizationally. But this one gives me a little bit of pause because for weeks, even Neil DeGrasse Tyson was addressing this. He said, listen. And he's the one who said, there is a 0 or 100% chance we just don't know what that is yet. Right? He's like, so don't everyone freak out, because eventually we'll know. But he said, by next year, we'll know if it's 0 or 100% chance. How did they figure that out so quick? If Neil DeGrasse Tyson, one of the smartest human beings that lives during my lifetime, said, it's going to take a year for us to figure this out. When this asteroid gets on the other side of the sun, we'll figure it out, then how did they figure it out in just a couple of days. And why are they now pushing out this particular story? Is that true or is there a bunker being built somewhere? I don't think it's definitely not going to be a cool.

[Rachel]

I think they just fired everybody at that agency.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah, that's true. That's the other thing is, I said.

[Rachel]

Hey, it's not happening anymore, people.

[Chris Hoadley]

How do we know if no one is actually working? How do we know if no one's working at those agencies? That's why we need these people. Lifelong public servants and bureaucrats sometimes do serve a purpose. I'm all about smaller government. Trust me, I am. I don't need every. I don't need to fill out a form for everything that I do in my life and have someone breathing down my neck about every time I, you know, shit, or send a zell to my cousin. I don't need that. However, some of these people, lifelong public servants, serve a purpose. And there's like this reel going around about people who have been recently fired by Doji or whatever the fuck we're calling it. This.

[Rachel]

Didn't all these people just quit too?

[Chris Hoadley]

Well, a bunch of people quit, Joj, because they didn't agree with whatever Musk was telling them to do. And so there's this reel going around. It's like 20 different people. The reel's about two minutes long, and they are fired. And they were explaining what they do in government. One guy was like, I clean up the trash at Yosemite so that you don't have to see dirty diapers. Yeah, so you don't have to see dirty diapers and fast food trash bags when you're driving in Yosemite. And the next person was like, I make sure the children get, you know, lunches for the da, da, da and whatever it was. These people are serving small but significant purposes inside. And those, all those little small things end up being big things. Can we have a review? I agree with smaller government. Can we have a review? A process by which we go, is this. Do we need this? Do we need this? Is this effective? Is it efficient? And then make a decision, but at least give people. At least give an opportunity to these organizations and these governmental bureaucracies to justify their existence and then let us all know why we have these people around. Then we go, oh, okay, they serve a purpose. Let's do that. I think that would be a good way to go about it.

[Rachel]

Yeah, just a big review.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah, but Doji's just taking a chainsaw because I believe that this is part of a movement called accelerationism, where some very rich people and some other influential behind the scenes people believe that society is breaking down anyway and they want to accelerate it to get over the hump and create an AI lit, AI driven, one world, right? This is called accelerationism. Look it up. And I think. I don't know, but I think want.

[Rachel]

To look it up.

[Chris Hoadley]

I don't know. No one wants to look it up. That's the thing, is that no one fucking agrees with it, except for a couple of Looney Tunes who happen to be billionaires. And running AI companies like this is super dangerous. But we're all. I mean, I guess we're not all rolling around because I see these town halls, one of which happened here near where I live, and it made national news. I saw that, like many national news things. So people are questioning what's going on. But yeah, there's 20 young kids just. Or I don't know if they're young kids, but 20 kids just quit that doji program because they said, probably because their mom or dad called them and were like, what are you doing? What in the fuck are you doing? Get a real job. Go to Silicon Valley where the rest of the people are with your kind of skill set. Go do something good with your life. And then because Musk cannot get a security clearance, and because he was not born here in the United States, and because, because, because, because, because there's even questions about whether or not he actually is a citizen, they can't actually appoint him to the head of Doge. So they appointed someone else the head of Doge. Did you see that?

[Rachel]

I did see that.

[Chris Hoadley]

And it's some lady running. Yeah, and it's some lady who. Her entire social. Her kids and you know, treating kids with certain conditions and disease as well. And she seems like a perfectly reasonable, lovely lady who's on vacation in Mexico for three weeks and no one can get a hold of her. So it's like they just like pointed the finger and were like, you do it. Yeah, you do it. He'll call you and tell you what. He'll tweet at you, exit you, whatever you call it, and you do it. It's unbelievable. What the fuck is going on?

[Rachel]

I don't know.

[Chris Hoadley]

I don't know either. This is one bad episode of the Commercial Break. There is more organization at Commercial Break LLC than there is in the current administration that is saying something because this is probably the worst organization in the history of LLCs. I'm telling you that right now. No doubt about it. All right, let's do this. I don't want to get on a rant because people hate when I get on. Well, some people like it, but, you know, some people like it, but those are the only people that are still listening. Since our numbers are going down and not up, let's take a break. I'll take a deep breath and we'll get to what we really enjoy doing. Making fun of pickup artists.

[Ryan Jumanes]

Ooh, yes.

[Chris Hoadley]

We'll be back.

[Joy Hoadley]

Hey, it's Rachel, your new voice of God here on tcb. And just like you, I'm wondering just how much longer this podcast can continue. Let's all rejoice that another episode has made it to your ears. And I'll rejoice that my check is in the mail. Speaking of mail, get your free TCB sticker in the mail by going to tcbpodcast.com and visiting the Contact Us page. You can also find the entire commercial break library audio and video, just in case you want to look at [e-mail] Want your voice to be on an episode of the show? Leave us a message at 212-4333, TCB. That's 212-433-3822. Tell us how much you love us and we'll be sure to let the world know on a future episode. Or you could make fun of us. That'd be fine, too. We might not air that, but maybe. Oh, and if you're shy, that's okay. Just send a text. We'll respond. Now I'm gonna go check the mailbox for payment while you check out our sponsors, and then we'll return to this episode of the commercial break.

[Ryan Jumanes]

Start fresh in the new year as you set resolutions for 2024, consider how learning a new language can enrich your life, whether through travel, career advancement, or cultural appreciation. Keeping in mind everything you've learned over the last year, it's time to build on that. And learning a new language can help you connect with others and explore new cultures. With that in mind, there's no better tool than Rosetta Stone, the most trusted language learning program available on desktop and mobile. Rosetta Stone immerses you in the language so you truly learn to think, speak, and understand it naturally with Rosetta Stone's intuitive approach. There are no English translations, you're fully immersed, and the Built in Truaxent feature acts like a personal accent coach, giving you real time feedback to make sure you sound just right. Don't put off learning that language. There's no better time than right now to get started. Start the new year off with a resolution you can reach today. Listeners can take advantage of this Rosetta Stone's lifetime membership. For 50% off, visit rosettastone.com Rs10. That's 50% off. Unlimited access to 25 language courses for the rest of your Life. Redeem your 50% [e-mail] Rs10 today.

[Chris Hoadley]

Hey, you out there in the podcast universe. I'm dropping in to share with you a podcast that I am currently enjoying. I only agree to this a couple times a year because, let's face it, I really want all the attention on me and my show. But audacy, our network has dropped a true gem. All right, some free word association here. Young adults looking to have the time of their life. Billions of dollars in free flowing revenue. Secret administrators who will do anything to avoid bad press and cover ups with endless twists and turns. Put them all together, mix them up and got the wild universe of college campus life. And now the Odyssey original podcast, Campus Files takes a deep dive into some of the wildest scandals that have taken place within colleges and universities across this country. While these universities are attracting some of America's brightest minds, some of the most absurd things are happening there. The rigged admissions, the sports scandals, and of course, a good Greek life drama. Who doesn't enjoy a good Greek life drama? The Campus Files podcast is exposing the stories you will not hear on the campus tours. Listen and follow Campus Files and Odyssey Original podcast, available now on the free Odyssey app or wherever you're listening to podcasts. And thanks to Odysee for supporting good content and great content creators.

[Joy Hoadley]

We're so done with new Year, new you. This year it's more you on Bumble.

[Chris Hoadley]

More of you shamelessly sending playlists, especially that one filled with show tunes.

[Joy Hoadley]

More of you finding Geminis because you know you always like them.

[Chris Hoadley]

More of you dating with intention because.

[Joy Hoadley]

You know what you want and you know what? We love that for you, someone else will too.

[Chris Hoadley]

Be more you this year and find them on Bumble. Okay, all right, off our doji and on to our PUAs. Chrissy, I'm sure on the Internet, as you do, as I do like to do. And you know, because of my search history on YouTube, I have an eclectic mix of things that will come up.

[Rachel]

The algorithm.

[Chris Hoadley]

The algorithm. I'm telling you. National treasure. My search history on that computer and my search history on YouTube and Instagram. National treasure. National treasure. Why? I don't know. But if you're into bikinis and crazy people. You're gonna love my search history. So I'm sure she doesn't love those two things. Well, I mean, I am a boy. Here's the thing. Somebody put out a reel the other day. Here's the thing. Here's the thing. I'm justifying my bikini watching. Here's the thing I'm putting on. I'm flipping through Instagram the other day and there is a gentleman and he says Instagram is so rigged, the algorithm is so rigged toward racy content for any male. And I'm going to prove to you why. So then he explains that he's got three different Instagram accounts. His personal, his business, and then a finsta, a fake Instagram account that he can use. I forgot where. He explains he can use probably to stalk his ex girlfriend or whatever, but, you know, probably for nefarious purposes. But he explains this and he says in all three of those, I, you know, it's me that owns the account. So they know that I'm male. They know that I am attracted to women. They must, right? He goes, anytime that I go to search on my business, on my personal or on my finsa, all of the pictures that pull up are half naked women, women in bikinis or some other kind of racy content. He's like, on my. On my business account, I have never, not once searched for anything like sex related, right? Never. Not once. And he says that I did a informal poll amongst my guy friends and they all say the same thing is on Instagram when they search, all that gets shown is pictures of girls in bikinis. And so while Instagram purports to not want this content on, you know, it's not that they don't want the content, but they don't promote that kind of content. Every guy out there seems to be getting the same content, which is bikinis. So do you believe me, Astrid? Okay, I was trolling on the Internet as you do, as I do, and I found a new pua for us to talk about. He's giving a one and a half. We're not gonna go through all one and a half hours. Maybe we will. I don't know. He's giving a one and a half hour course on how to pick up women as they often do. He's got kind of a new spin on it. He's got a little bit of a different spin. Yeah, this is a little bit of a different spin. It's not far off from what we hear on other pickup artists in the Community. Really? Yeah. Sticky eyes. You're giving me the sticky eye. The sticky eye. Okay, let's take a listen to this guy. Oh, Christina, will you. There you. I mean, Tina. Tina. You're. Well, your name is. No, it's okay.

[Brian Green]

You're just approaching women. It's about building.

[Chris Hoadley]

Old habits die hard. Habits die hard. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. To Christina and to Tina. I apologize. I mean, her name is Christina, but we call her Tina. Right.

[Brian Green]

A wife worthy of attracting those beautiful women. And when you get so good at this game, you won't even have to approach women. You will just become the man and women will come to you.

[Chris Hoadley]

You are gonna be a pussy magnet.

[Rachel]

I'm gonna be the man. And women will come towards you.

[Chris Hoadley]

You ever got in a magnet from.

[Rachel]

Oh, my God, his shirt? Do you see what it says? It says, no wife, happy life.

[Chris Hoadley]

That's right, Chrissy. No wife, happy life. That's how we do it. You ever gotten a new magnet from the dry cleaner or something like that? And you go and you just throw it on your refrigerator and it sticks. It's play. That's what happens when you become the man. And you are officially a pussy magnet. Labia literally stuck on your face.

[Brian Green]

Flip the whole game on him.

[Chris Hoadley]

Now.

[Brian Green]

You're not the guy running around doing pickup lines. Now you're the guy sitting back controlling things. And women are like, who is that guy? I want to get to know him.

[Rachel]

Who's that guy with the whiteboard behind him?

[Chris Hoadley]

Who's that guy with the whiteboard and a overly wordy poster next to him?

[Rachel]

What is that?

[Chris Hoadley]

I don't know. When you're not working your game, remember, someone somewhere is working on their game. And when your dream girl shows up, he will get her, says Ryan Jumanes, master pick of our master.

[Rachel]

Master.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah. Tina was asking, like, what gives them the qualification of master? Well, I think it's the spider man tattoo on his elbow. I think that gives you the master.

[Rachel]

That says master all over it.

[Brian Green]

And then you get the women chasing you. Let me say that again. Don't focus on the goal.

[Rachel]

That lettering is so tiny.

[Chris Hoadley]

This is the worst PowerPoint presentation in the history of PowerPoint presentations, because it's not even PowerPoint. It is literally a poster board. So let me give you a little. Here we are.

[Rachel]

Yeah, I'm trying to figure out what's happening here.

[Chris Hoadley]

Ryan here is a tatted up guy. Fine, whatever. Lots of people have tattoos. I like tattoos.

[Rachel]

I think he has a tattoo of a kiss on his neck.

[Chris Hoadley]

He does have a tattoo of a kiss on the neck that says everything you need to know. So Ryan is a tatted up white guy wearing a black T shirt that says MG Toe. Don't even know what that means. No wife, happy life. He's got a whiteboard to the left of him. He's got a white sheet behind him. And then to the right of him, not even in the entire frame. He's literally got poster boards that are saying, is that poster boards or is that a tv? I can't tell.

[Rachel]

I think it might be a screen.

[Chris Hoadley]

Okay, maybe it's a screen.

[Rachel]

Like a small TV.

[Chris Hoadley]

He's got a PowerPoint presentation running. There must be a thousand words on that power. But you. You can't even see it because the whole screen is not even in focus. That's really weird.

[Rachel]

At the top, in big letters, it says, am I going to get laid on this boot camp?

[Chris Hoadley]

The answer is probably not. That's the second boot camp you get laid on. For 10,000 more dollars, I'll give you private coaching. I guarantee he's trying to sell private coaching. But I will also say, when I started first doing public presentations as a salesperson, nothing got the crowd going more than putting every word you were going to say on a PowerPoint presentation. Reading your PowerPoint presentation is the best way to give a presentation.

[Rachel]

It's so engaging.

[Chris Hoadley]

It's so engaging.

[Brian Green]

Focus on getting laid or getting the girl. Like, oh, I just have to get laid today. I have to get the girl. It's not about that. It's about building the skill set.

[Chris Hoadley]

All I can see, all I can read is no refund. Do you see that?

[Rachel]

Yes, I see.

[Chris Hoadley]

That's no refunds. That is powerful.

[Joy Hoadley]

In bold.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah, yeah, in bold.

[Brian Green]

It's about learning the process of how the game works. Let me give you a quick example of what that might look like.

[Rachel]

Oh.

[Brian Green]

So here I am here and, oh, great.

[Chris Hoadley]

He's doing. We're doing some football sketching out on the whiteboard.

[Brian Green]

This will be you.

[Chris Hoadley]

You block, I tackle.

[Brian Green]

This is your target, right? So I'll say, hey, see that blonde over there? Go talk to her. Go use the absolutely adorable opener. So you watch.

[Rachel]

Absolutely opener.

[Chris Hoadley]

Go use the UF wretched breath opener.

[Brian Green]

And boom, you go, hey, real quick, super random. I thought you were absolutely adorable. So now here you are.

[Chris Hoadley]

He's the guys, Guys and girls who are listening out there. You, the listener. I must describe this to you. He has the whiteboard. He has got a blue marker and a red marker, and he is Literally putting X's and O's, showing you where you're physically going to be standing and how you're going to walk up to a girl.

[Rachel]

Here's the target.

[Chris Hoadley]

I didn't know that they really sketched it out. This in detail. Yeah.

[Rachel]

What's his name again?

[Chris Hoadley]

Ryan something.

[Rachel]

Ryan.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah. I have a feeling we'll know his name before too long.

[Brian Green]

Talking to your target. You guys are kind of. Kind of talking back and forth, and I am basically rovering around. I might be here.

[Rachel]

He also has YOLO tattooed on the.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah, I bet he regrets that every day of his life here.

[Brian Green]

And I'm just kind of scoping the scene, just kind of being like, okay, how is the student's body language looking? Oh, look, he looks pretty good. Like, doesn't have his hands in his pockets. Looks like he's leaned back.

[Rachel]

So he's just encircling the situation that's.

[Chris Hoadley]

Happening like a shark and a baby seal. He's going to be circling around, taking notes, making sure that you're in the proper posture and position to get your dick wet.

[Brian Green]

He looks very cool, calm and collected. Like, yeah, this. This set is going really good.

[Rachel]

Oh.

[Chris Hoadley]

With Las Vegas's number one. It's okay. Here it is. This is what it says on the screen. More bad PowerPoint, by the way. I just have to say this PUA boot camp video. Frequently asked questions. A few things you should know with Las Vegas's number one dating coach, Ryan Juan Zemis.

[Rachel]

I think so.

[Chris Hoadley]

Okay.

[Brian Green]

Hey, guys, Ryan here. If you're receiving this message, it means you probably just purchased my new PUA Boot Camp. So welcome to this quick briefing. PUA Boot Camp video faq.

[Chris Hoadley]

This quick briefing, it's an hour and a half long, first of all. Second of all, yeah, I know where.

[Rachel]

They'Re like, this quick message. We're gonna give it to you quick. And then an hour later, they're still.

[Chris Hoadley]

If you're receiving this message, you got it. If you're receiving this message, the asteroid has hit Earth, and we must make new babies. So I'm here to teach you it. I'm Las Vegas's number one dating coach.

[Brian Green]

A few things.

[Chris Hoadley]

What makes him Las Vegas's number one dating coach? Is there, like, nothing? Do they actually have a ranker? Yeah, you should know. All right, before we move on.

[Rachel]

Pizza. Yeah, sometimes we're best pizza in the world.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Rachel]

Any place can say that. It does. We were down in Mexico, and Jeff's like, look, it has the best pizza in the world. I was like, yeah, well, there's no standard.

[Chris Hoadley]

I don't think no standard whatsoever. Sometimes we're Apple's number one improv comedy podcast and I don't think that. I don't think that makes much difference. I think a lot of people would disagree.

[Brian Green]

I've made this little briefing video for you guys so that you know everything to expect before we actually meet up. Real life coaching session introduction.

[Rachel]

Oh.

[Chris Hoadley]

Oh my God. What was that?

[Rachel]

All over the place?

[Chris Hoadley]

This is terrible. Juan needs to take his ADHD medication. Las Vegas seven magazine. What is Las Vegas seven magazine?

[Rachel]

I don't know.

[Chris Hoadley]

It's one of those. You remember when we were named one of Atlanta's best podcasts? It's by simply writing out our own article and sending it to them.

[Brian Green]

And thank you for purchasing my new boot camp and or coaching and or.

[Chris Hoadley]

Training and or one of the best in the game says bad boy lifestyle.

[Brian Green]

Product etc and welcome.

[Chris Hoadley]

Why I created this program Train with the master. Oh, he's like the Yoda of Las Vegas dating. Coaches.

[Brian Green]

Let's talk about a few things and or frequently asked questions. You should know beforehand how the boot camp and or training is set up. Typically all of my live training is at a mall.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah, he's at a mall. This mall seems to be a favorite stomping grounds of a lot of these pickup artists. I can only imagine why. Watching my students win in the field. Learn how to approach hot women. Get coaching from me. DM for more info and or boot.

[Brian Green]

Camps, et cetera consist of a mix.

[Chris Hoadley]

Like a bad local television commercial. It's terrible.

[Brian Green]

Between in classroom lectures, theory, question and answer, etc. And live infield approaching.

[Chris Hoadley]

Oh my God. There's like a guy at the mall at the Gap talking to girls that are clearly a little on the young side, don't you think?

[Brian Green]

Or drilling and or training, et cetera. Example, my eight hour diamond package.

[Chris Hoadley]

My eight hour diamond pack.

[Rachel]

One on one seduction coaching.

[Chris Hoadley]

Learn how to pick up hot women. Eight hour one on one seduction coaching with Ryan was 199.99. Now only $479. Achieve your goals. Date hot women. Now learn step by step 100% scientifically proven techniques to approach hot women and start convers. What scientist is doing research on this?

[Rachel]

None.

[Chris Hoadley]

Oh, a free 15 minute phone consultation. You know what Chrissy?

[Rachel]

I think we're gonna have to call.

[Chris Hoadley]

We're gonna have to call the phone.

[Brian Green]

Number of one to two days of either two times.

[Chris Hoadley]

Is that Ivanka Trump?

[Rachel]

I don't know. It's some kind of stock picture.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah, it looks like Ivanka Trump to me.

[Brian Green]

Four hour sessions consisting of four hours lecture and or theory and four hours infield training or a one theory or.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah, whatever your. Whatever your week, whatever your weekend, he's going to bolster that. So it's either what theory or technique.

[Brian Green]

I'm 8 hour block or 4 times 2 hour trainings. Etc. It really just all depends on our schedule and we discuss all that before.

[Chris Hoadley]

It really all depends on how much I can spit in a day.

[Rachel]

Eight hours.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yes.

[Rachel]

It's a long time.

[Chris Hoadley]

Hey listen, it takes a long time to teach these kind. Christy, this is a hack that you're gonna want to know. Hack.

[Brian Green]

However, every student and or client has their own unique and specific goals when it comes to achieving success with women. So every training will be custom tailored to meet the specific and unique goals of kids.

[Rachel]

I thought if we were reviewing this, we had already bought it.

[Chris Hoadley]

We already bought it.

[Rachel]

But this is the diamond.

[Chris Hoadley]

Well, he needs you to get the diamond package. Chrissy, listen, you're only gonna learn so much by going to the in person boot camp or he'll be swirling around you all afternoon at the mall. Yeah, listen, you can get the diamond package or the mall package. The mall package. We're not teaching as much technique in theory as we're doing during the diamond package. Where we go to the outlet malls. That's really where a lot of women go. The TGI Fridays Cheesecake Factory.

[Brian Green]

Student and or client. For example. Some students goals may be to just find love or a girlfriend and or wife or the perfect partner. While others may just want to learn how to get laid fast with more women.

[Chris Hoadley]

Some digits students may just be seeking.

[Brian Green]

More confidence during social situations or learn how to manage their social anxiety in a public.

[Chris Hoadley]

This is some of the worst marketing I have ever seen. This is like.

[Rachel]

It's horrible.

[Chris Hoadley]

You've been to Vegas, right?

[Rachel]

Yeah.

[Chris Hoadley]

You've been to Vegas. Okay. You go to Vegas and you'll find that there's a lot of people who are obviously looking for an extra dollar or two. They might be down on their luck. They might not have that much money. They're being paid by some strip club or brothel to hand out these flyers. These look like those flyers. That's what it looks like.

[Rachel]

All put together.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yes.

[Brian Green]

Firemen while dealing with other people. While other students are already successful with women and are now trying to take their game to the next level or may even eventually want to become a coach themselves. Who this program is for generally students who have already either previously gotten Skype and or zoom video coaching and who have done at least a one hour session.

[Rachel]

Hello and thank you for purchasing my new boot camp coaching, slash training slash product, et cetera.

[Chris Hoadley]

This is crazy. Okay, so let's read a little bit of this because now we're just reading a PowerPoint presentation. I didn't realize we were going to go down this PowerPoint road, but okay, we'll roll with it. How the boot camp training is set up. Typically, all of my live trainings, boot camps, et cetera, he uses a lot of etc consist of a mix of between a mix between in classroom lectures, theory Q and A, et cetera and live infield approaching drilling training et cetera. Example, my 8 hour diamond package consists of 1 to 2 days of either 2 times 4 hour sessions consisting of 4 hours lecture or theory and 4 hours of infield training or 1 on 1 by 8 coaching, a block of 2x2 4 coaching etc. However, every student or client must get their own unique and specific goals when it comes to achieving success. He just literally read that entire PowerPoint slide and then he put it on there word for word. Ryan, I don't know about your pickup artist skills, but I know some people who can help you with your presentation skills. This is terrible, bro.

[Brian Green]

With me or who have already been through my bronze and gold trainings or one of my other live trainings and or seminars. But this is definitely not mandatory. So let's talk about the purpose of boot camp. What is the purpose of taking a PUA boot camp? Approaching women is a skill set which can be developed via practice and repetition. Learning how to pick up women is no different than learning any other skill set.

[Chris Hoadley]

Okay? I think what we've learned about Ryan is that he is the world's worst PowerPoint presentation skills. When I saw some of this video I thought this was really promising. But now what I'm learning is that Ryan is just reading slide by slide, thousands of words that he has typed out and he's putting those on the video so that you can read along with him. Ryan, if your PUA skills are anything like your meeting skills, do not buy this class. Do not buy it. You're going to be stuck in a hot hotel room, probably a Holiday Inn somewhere off the Strip, listening to Ryan read his own bullshit with a lot of et cetera, spelling mistakes, punctuations, a lot. This guy writes copy like I write text messages. Do you know what I'm saying? This is a problem. Society today is that we're just not teaching these Kids, how to write. This guy needs some grammar lessons before he's gonna get some POA lessons. But, hey, listen, don't. Don't believe that. If you don't believe the PowerPoint slide, believe Ryan when he says you can have dating coach technique, theory, get married, get laid, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. All right, we're gonna take a break, and then we'll find some actual content here, and we'll get back to it, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera.

[Rachel]

It.

[Joy Hoadley]

Rachel here. While Brian takes his old man bladder to the little boys room. Let's talk turkey. TCB needs your help. If you love the show, do us all a favor and share. Sharing is caring. And we know you care, don't you? Well, don't you? Ooh, that was some childhood trauma rearing its ugly head. Do you want to be on the show? Leave us a voicemail at 212-433-3822 and you could be the next TCB. Disembodied voice. Ooh, what'd you do today? I was a disembodied voice. You know, that sounds more dangerous than it actually is. Find us on Insta at the commercial break on the [e-mail] and all the episodes on video are available the same [e-mail] thecommercial break. I'm gonna go help Brian get back up the stairs while you listen to the sponsors, and then we'll all meet back here and get back to this episode of the commercial break. I'll take a raise now, bitches. Bye. Imagine what's possible when learning doesn't get in the way of life. At Capella University, our game changing flexpath learning format lets you set your own deadline so you can learn at a time and pace that works for you. It's an education you can tailor to your schedule. That means you don't have to put your life on hold to pursue your professional goals. Instead, enjoy learning your way and earn your degree without missing a beat. A different future is closer than you think with Capella University. Learn more at Capella. Edu.

[Chris Hoadley]

Oh, sheet.

[Joy Hoadley]

Honey, chill.

[Chris Hoadley]

It's just laundry. Not that I'm talking about these Arm and Hammer power sheets. All the power of arm and Hammer laundry detergent in a convenient tossable sheet. Oh, sheet. That's what I'm saying. And Arm and hammer power sheets deliver an effective clean at a great price. Think of all the laundry we'll do and all the money we'll save. Oh, Sheet. Arm and hammer. More power to you. All right, and we're back. Now. We've managed to scroll our way through something interesting here with Ryan. Yeah, I mean, listen, I was just telling Chrissy, I think that there was one time when Rafa and I owned the Internet marketing company, and there was a guy who came in to pitch us on something. I forgot what it was. He came in to pitch us on something, and he sat down and he put up a PowerPoint presentation with thousands of words on it, and they were all bullet pointed. And he started reading line by line through it. And about two pages in, Rafael and I were like, sorry, this is not for us.

[Rachel]

Just leave that with us.

[Chris Hoadley]

Just leave that with us. If you came here to read it, we can do that on our own. And we won't. Yes. And we will not do that.

[Brian Green]

Number one top dating and success coach and have taught thousands of men just like you from all over the world.

[Rachel]

How to become more successful.

[Chris Hoadley]

This video is terrible.

[Rachel]

At a mall outside of Forever 21.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah, dude. I mean, listen, this makes me. This makes me pine for John Anthony lifestyle. Because at least his videos are interesting. At least you can watch his videos.

[Brian Green]

With their interactions with women. Think of me just like a football coach. And you're like a player on the team. I give you.

[Chris Hoadley]

Let's go get that. Get suited up. Get condom on. Let's go. Hump, hump, hump, hump, hump, hump, hump.

[Brian Green]

The plays on how to approach and meet women. I tell you exactly what to do.

[Chris Hoadley]

And say, oh, my God. There's a video playing in the background, a background video where there's guys at.

[Rachel]

The mall that are leaning over.

[Chris Hoadley]

He's. They're downstairs. This guy is on a balcony, like, you know, on the upstairs, looking down into this courtyard area, and he is talking in a microphone. And these guys have earpieces in. Do you not. Are you not automatically suspicious of a guy who starts coming up to you with an earphone with an earpiece in? Like, what are you, Secret Service? Who am I talking to?

[Brian Green]

I instruct you how to stand, how to move, how to dress, how to act, and what to do through each.

[Chris Hoadley]

And I will instruct you on how to be exactly who you are not.

[Rachel]

Look at the. Look at the. Oh, my God, it's the Transcript. Transcript. Yes. Dave.

[Chris Hoadley]

Dave, let's reenact this. Are you ready? Yes. You'll be the target. I'll be Dave.

[Rachel]

Okay.

[Chris Hoadley]

Are there Starbucks around here? Are there Starbucks around here?

[Rachel]

Yeah, there.

[Chris Hoadley]

Thanks.

[Rachel]

Starbucks. See?

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah. Okay. Hey, thanks. Are you from around here?

[Rachel]

Yeah.

[Chris Hoadley]

Eject button.

[Rachel]

Oh my God.

[Chris Hoadley]

Ejaculate button.

[Rachel]

This is crazy.

[Chris Hoadley]

Wow. Good for. Good for Ryan.

[Rachel]

That looks like that did not produce anything.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah. And by the way, he's talking to a girl who's running a kiosk. Are there Starbucks around here? I don't think Starbucks is a word. Are there Starbucks around here?

[Brian Green]

To the process. Then you simply follow the directions, memorize the process for yourself, and next thing you know, a beautiful woman is now giving you her phone number and agreeing to meet up with you for a date.

[Chris Hoadley]

Then we are watching in what they call in the field footage while. While Ryan is incessantly babbling on about his PowerPoint, he is showing in the background live footage of his clients at the mall, in the food court. YouTube.com the commercial break. You got to go watch this. He's showing footage of his clients in a mall hitting on the girls running the kiosk stand. Some lady having lunch, you know, girls at a jean store. Meanwhile, his client is balding, wearing glass. His client is me. Basically. His client looks like me. And he's talking to a girl who's probably no older than 21 years old. He's probably in his 40s, I would imagine. And there is zero chance that this guy is gonna walk away with any of these girls phone numbers. They're entirely too young and pretty.

[Rachel]

Not the real ones.

[Chris Hoadley]

Ye. Yeah, not the real ones. That's true.

[Brian Green]

After our training, once you have memorized the process, you will then be able to go out on your own and quote, rinse and repeat again. It's just like me being a master chef and, or cook and. Or baker, etc. And you, etc.

[Chris Hoadley]

Etc. Etc. Loves that, etc.

[Brian Green]

Like an apprentice. And I am teaching you how to bake a chocolate cake, for example. I tell you what ingredients you need.

[Rachel]

A store leaning on the counter and talking to the girl behind the counter.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah, because that's her job. Her job is to talk to you, anybody in a service environment. If I'm a pickup artist, and I'm not, this has been well noted. History will go down and I will not have pickup artists on my grave. Whatever the opposite of pickup artist is. A dump artist. That's what I am. I'm a dump artist, Whatever that is. Whatever that means. Pickup artist. If I am one of those. The first thing I am telling my clients is that customer service related interactions are not considered interactions that are valuable because they are paid to interact with you.

[Rachel]

Like the strip club.

[Chris Hoadley]

Like the strip club. You don't go to a strip club to pick up a girl. The most expensive thing in a strip club is mud. How I hope she comes home with me and I will pay endless amounts of money to see that that happens. That's it. The entire universe of strip clubs runs on hope.

[Brian Green]

Is milk, oil, eggs, chocolate, etc and in that proportions to use and how to mix them together properly, how to grease the pans, how to set the oven to the right temperature, how to ice the cake and how to serve and present the cake with et cetera.

[Chris Hoadley]

The name of this episode is Etc. No doubt about it. Or etc.

[Brian Green]

It's the same exact thing with picking up women. It's just a process.

[Chris Hoadley]

Oh my God. So he's the more in the field footage where he is pushing a guy, literally physically throwing him and now go and talk to this girl.

[Brian Green]

Once you learn the process, you will be able to go out and pick up women any. Oh my God where and anytime you want. You might also use the metaphor of learning how to build a house.

[Rachel]

Who was that?

[Brian Green]

You might be a cop.

[Chris Hoadley]

I have no idea. Yeah, I don't know. Now I just have random footage now. He's showing you phone numbers. Nobu. He's got Nobu in his phone. First of all, that's an iPhone3.

[Brian Green]

Carpenter with all the raw materials. That is the lumber, the cement, the screws, the nails, etc.

[Chris Hoadley]

I get girls phone numbers, hot chick truck.

[Brian Green]

But you don't have the blueprint for the house or any of the necessary tools I.e. hammer, screwdriver, screw, gun, socket, wrenches, etc, etc.

[Rachel]

What is he saying and doing?

[Brian Green]

Love that metaphor about the house. Most likely you already have everything that you need to attract women. You're enough most likely as it is.

[Chris Hoadley]

However, that's the most honest thing you've said the entire time. There you go. Yes you do.

[Brian Green]

Might just not have the know how or the specifical technical specifications of how to actually approach.

[Chris Hoadley]

It isn't a fucking IKEA chair you gotta build. It's going out there and being social. It's not really all that complicated. And I do understand that there are many people on this earth who have social anxiety and. And that's they find that they would rather cut themselves with small pieces of paper than go and put themselves in a social situation that's unfamiliar to them. That is the challenge. I don't think I can help you get over that's you just have to find something in you that overcomes that kind of anxiety. But there are no technical specifications to attraction. It's either happening or it's not happening. And you're. She's either right for you or she's not, or he's right for you or whatever. You can't manufacture this by rinsing and repeating terrible pickup lines and putting yourself in front of women and giving them the hand and telling them to stop and talking to kiosk girls at the mall. I mean, come on, what's that? Starbucks is not even a word, et cetera.

[Brian Green]

What to do, how to get her phone number, and all that really is just a step by step process. Like I said, you already have the lumber, you already have the cement. But I'm the guy who has the blueprint and the tools that you need in order to.

[Chris Hoadley]

I've got a blueprint. It's on my arm. Check it out.

[Brian Green]

Build that house. Or just like with this cooking and chef metaphor, same thing. I'm like the master chef and you're the apprentice cook. So I'm gonna teach you how.

[Chris Hoadley]

This sounds like the. Sounds like the plot to Ratatouille.

[Brian Green]

Bake that chocolate cake. Hey, you need a quarter cup of oil, you need a half cup of milk, and you need three eggs, and you need blank, blank, and blank. Now, if you only have, you know, you don't have any oil, and you only have a little bit of milk, and you only have two eggs, this.

[Chris Hoadley]

Is an extraordinarily specific metaphor. And I don't think metaphors are supposed to be specific. I think that's why we call them metaphors, etc.

[Brian Green]

And you try to make that same cake, well, it's just not going to work for you.

[Chris Hoadley]

Right?

[Brian Green]

Right. Because you don't have the.

[Chris Hoadley]

I now have a. I am officially unconvinced. This is Las Vegas's number one pickup artist.

[Brian Green]

Proper ingredients to make the chocolate cake. But that's why I'm there to instruct you exactly how to do it. So in terms of meeting and approaching women, when we go out together, essentially what I'm doing is I'm going to teach you step by step. Go up to her and you're going to say this. You're going to stand like this. You're going to project your voice. Loud, confident, dominant, like this.

[Rachel]

Where are the Starbucks?

[Chris Hoadley]

Where are the Starbucks? You get a car and you get a car and you get a car. Etc, etc, etc, etc, etc, etc.

[Brian Green]

I'm out there being a cheerleader for you, okay? I'm not saying, oh, just go be confident. Just go talk to her and make it happen. I'm out there giving you the specific technical details.

[Chris Hoadley]

First things first, I want you to pick up your right leg, bend at the knee, push it forward, foot down. Second step, pick up your left leg, bend at the knee, push it forward, step down. Now see that girl over there? Stop. Not the right posture. Hold on one second. Change your clothes, change your voice, change your thoughts, change your mind. Let's put in contacts that aren't your eye color. We need a wig. You need to bodybuild. I'm going to get you plastic surgery. And now you're perfect. You're perfect just the way you are now. Now that I've changed everything about you, I'm telling you exactly what to do. I am the chef. Let me give you a metaphor, Chrissy. I am the chef. I work at a cheesecake factory. I come into work at 4:30. I clock in, I put on my chef's apron, I wash my hands, I walk over to the pot, I put water in it, I boil it, I get four eggs, I crack those eggs, I put them in the pot, I get a cup of flour. Etc. Etc. Etc. But wait, I haven't finished with my metaphor.

[Rachel]

I'm good.

[Chris Hoadley]

No, no, no. You skip steps, you don't win. You're not gonna get laid like that, Chrissy. You're not gonna get laid like that. You think je. You think Jeff's just gonna screw you cause you're a hot chick? No, doesn't work like that. You need to listen to my chef metaphor. This is why you paid $497 for the diamond package. Diamond package.

[Brian Green]

This, this, this and this. And you get the girl on my boot camps and or trainings. You'll learn the secrets of attraction. The secrets?

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah. What makes it and or. Why are we and oring.

[Rachel]

I don't know.

[Chris Hoadley]

I don't know. I guess it just depends on who you are and how badly you want to read through a PowerPoint presentation.

[Brian Green]

Psychology and how to confidently and strategically approach women and groups of women and start conversations. You will learn how to approach and captivate your audience, Spark deep emotional connections and.

[Chris Hoadley]

Wow, what is this? B roll footage. Where does he find this? This is him. Where? At qvc.

[Rachel]

That's not him, is it?

[Chris Hoadley]

That's him. Okay, that's him. It's obviously him many years ago because he no longer has any hair or all that weight on him. But you know, that's him and he's.

[Rachel]

In some place giving these people a pop quiz.

[Chris Hoadley]

Yeah, this looks like a PBS studio, you know, like a local GPTV studio where he's giving the guys a pop quiz. If I could only read those questions. Those guys must kick themselves in the fucking balls when they realize they have to go sit in a chair for hours at a time and listen to this guy read through a PowerPoint presentation.

[Brian Green]

Escalate sexual tension and ultimately build a solid lifelong skill set to be able to attract women anywhere and anytime. The purpose of boot camp is a surefire way to get you out of the house.

[Chris Hoadley]

Are they playing games? Are they playing bingo?

[Rachel]

Like a bucket.

[Chris Hoadley]

A camo camouflage bucket. He's pulling numbers. Who wants to go first?

[Rachel]

Computer.

[Brian Green]

And out of your head.

[Chris Hoadley]

Oh, he gave him a piece of candy.

[Rachel]

He's not the quiz.

[Chris Hoadley]

He's handing out candy. This guy is a tchotchke. Oh my God, it's bad. I really want a 15 minute consultation.

[Brian Green]

Instead of just sitting around all day thinking and or daydreaming about approaching women and getting a girlfriend and. Or getting laid, etcetera, this will actually get you out into a real life social situation with real women and learn from a master of the game that is the dating game.

[Chris Hoadley]

Well, you know what? After this, I feel like I have to get out into a real life social situation. I think this is the worst pickup artist ever. Oh, bad. That's terrible.

[Rachel]

Yeah.

[Chris Hoadley]

Wow. Not only was it bad advice, it's just the delivery is terrible. Oh my God, the delivery is all over the place. It makes no sense. And I gotta be real honest, I'm not sure that this would work because I'm not sure I could get through it.

[Rachel]

Absolutely not.

[Chris Hoadley]

This is an hour and a half.

[Rachel]

Long, Chrissy, like you said, I'm pining for the days of the. What was the convention?

[Chris Hoadley]

The 21 convention.

[Rachel]

Convention just blew this guy.

[Chris Hoadley]

Okay, maybe tomorrow. We need a palate cleanser. Going back to Zahn, at least Zahn was making it up whole cloth as he went along. At least Zahn just made up the. This guy's reading it. It's unbelievable how terrible that is. Really bad. Okay, well, Chrissy and I are gonna go read the 42 page PowerPoint presentation and we'll give you the Cliff Notes, if there is such a thing. Etc, etc. Etc. And then we'll fill you in tomorrow. I do need a palate cleanser. I feel like I need something to wash this out of my brain for.

[Rachel]

Sure.

[Chris Hoadley]

Terrible. All right. So bad. All right, 2124-3333-3822-2124-3, 33. TCB, questions, comments, concerns, content, ideas. We take them all at that phone number. Or you can leave us a voicemail if you want to be on the show. We might use that voicemail in a future episode. You never do know so roll the dice, gamble, et cetera, et cetera etc etc. That's my metaphor. Also I like lost my train of thought because I'm trying to read the words on the boot camp. Also YouTube.com thecommercial break we would love it if you would the commercial break we would love it if you would come check out the new studio. Watch us on YouTube. We would love it and you can subscribe to that channel if you're so kind. At the commercial break on Instagram TCB podcast on tick tock and tcbpodcast.com that's your home for all things Commercial Break More information about Chrissy and I. All the audio, all the video right there from one location. Plus you can get your free TCB schwag by going to the contact us button drop down menu. I want my free sticker. Give us your physical address and we will be happy to send that to you post haste. Etc etc etc.

[Rachel]

It really does cover everything I guess etc.

[Chris Hoadley]

Okay Chrissy, I guess that's all I can do for now. But I'll tell you that I love you. Best to you. Best to you out there in the podcast universe. Until next time Chrissy and I will say we do say and we must say goodbye.

[Joy Hoadley]

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[Chris Hoadley]

Will that be cash or credit? 4 Galaxy S25 Ultra the AI companion that does the heavy lifting so you can do. You get [e-mail] compatible with select apps. Requires Google Gemini account. Results may vary based on input. Check responses for accuracy.

[Brian Green]

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