Farewell Furry Tina!

Summary

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The Commercial Break – Episode Summary

Episode Title: Farewell Furry Tina!

Release Date: January 25, 2024
Hosts: Bryan Green (“A”) & Tina (“B”)
Theme:
A chaotic, hilarious, and affectionately rambling send-off for longtime friend-of-the-show, Tina. The episode blends personal anecdotes, biting social commentary, a deep-dive into “culture war” absurdities, wild musings on aging, hygiene, and bodily functions—and, as always, riffs full of twisted humor.

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Overview

This episode marks a “farewell” (but not forever!) to Tina, a core part of the TCB friend family. Bryan and Tina reminisce about early podcast days, discuss internet-fueled political hysterias (with a special focus on the anti-furry moral panic), dive into taboo relationship territory, and playfully roast Smokey Robinson’s questionable new erotic lyrics. The conversation seamlessly veers off-road into fast food loyalty, old people partying with drugs, and the saga of modern toilet hygiene.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Farewell to Tina: A Touching and Comic Retrospective

• Bryan reflects on Tina’s support since episode 1:
  • “You have been a friend and a supporter of the show maybe since episode number one… I really do [appreciate it].” (02:04)
  • Tina jokes about correcting Bryan’s mistakes from early episodes, highlighting the playful, frictionless banter between real-life friends.
• Tina is leaving for a new job/new phase:
  • “Tina joining us maybe not for one last hurrah, but maybe for one last hurrah. As Tina sails off into the sunset…” (00:43)
  • Warm, irreverent send-off: “Best to you, my friend... You’re always welcome to call the show and we’ll get you on.” (02:48)

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2. The Furry Panic & Culture War Hypocrisies

Trigger: News of an Oklahoma legislator (Justin Humphrey) introducing a bill targeting furries in schools.

• Dissecting litter-box-in-schools urban legends:
  • “There are no litter boxes in fucking schools.” (04:36)
  • “I have yet to see a picture of an 8th grader pissing in a litter box.” (04:54)
• Social panic over niche subcultures is ridiculed:
  • “Animal services is going to come remove children from school because they dress up like an animal.” (09:34)
  • Bryan: “I double dog dare you to do that and see how well it goes for you, Justin.” (09:38)
• Tina: “He doesn’t even know what a furry is then. Because the kid is… is not identify—you don’t identify as a furry.” (07:59)
• Riff on mascot characters:
  • “So what do you mean? No for like Chuck E. Cheese can’t come to the school? Like, no furry-related?” (06:30)
  • “Slappy the Frog… Frosty the Fire Frog. Do you remember that bit by Mitch Hedberg?” (06:38)
• Hypocrisy and the broader culture war:
  • “[What I hate] is the fucking hypocrisy. That’s what I hate. And it happens on all ends of the spectrum.” (05:31)
  • Occasional digression into parallel left-leaning hypocrisies (“…everyone in the world is upset because the Republicans attack Joe Biden for, you know, speaking slowly…”) (08:25)
  • Main argument: Media/politicians focus on invented problems instead of real issues (homelessness, public debt, school lunches). (11:35)

Memorable quote:

• “They’re not telling you they’re a panda bear… they’re just like, look at my hat.” (10:11)

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3. Taboo Relationships & ‘Obsession’

Bryan and Tina dig into jaw-dropping Reddit and TikTok tales about people sleeping with their in-laws.

• Wildest story:
  • “Her husband was having an affair with her mother for like a long time.” (12:55)
  • “The grandparents… had not only had the mother confessed…, but then apparently they had walked in a few times.” (13:27)
• Cultural/TV references:
  • “Did you watch Obsession? It has to be frequently running through our culture because this TV show… she starts having an affair with his dad.” (15:06)
• Strong opinions on boundaries:
  • “I think it’s all off limits... Just stay out of the family. How about one per family?” (15:43)
• Jostling about friend-group dating etiquette:
  • “You don’t sleep with my friends... Go make your own [friends].” (16:32)
  • Bryan’s own youthful error: “Kevin and I slept with the same person once. Not at the same time...” (16:47)
  • “But could you imagine if she slept with your dad? No… You go to therapy for a long time.” (17:23)

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4. The Bizarre Comeback of Smokey Robinson—"Gasm" Lyrics Roast

• Discovery of Smokey Robinson’s new, racy lyrics (“I Fit In There”):
  • “This is the most disgusting, putrid shit I’ve ever heard and it doesn’t make any sense. Smokey, stop.” (26:36)
• Comparisons with Prince and age-appropriate sexiness:
  • Tina: “Prince would sing it—not creepy. He was sexy from jump. [Smokey’s] out of his lane.” (19:27)
• Grotesque fascination:
  • “Tears of a Clown didn’t make me horny in any way, shape, or form.” (20:04)
  • “And I don’t want to think about him horny ever.” (20:16)
  • “We don’t sexualize our elderly, nor should they be sexualizing themselves.” (27:19)
• Savagely funny reading of lyrics:
  • Bryan, deadpan: “Let me in your life. Make some room for me. If deep down inside you’re hoping to fill up—an opening…” (24:42)
  • “I fit in there. I fit in there. I fit in there. I fit in there. Four separate times…” (24:58)
• Disbelief at the entire album:
  • “I can’t quite believe that this hasn’t taken the Internet by storm.” (20:43)
  • “He wrote his own lyrics, and they are absolutely terrible.” (28:58)

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5. Old People Partying: “Normalize Grandmas on Cocaine!”

• Viral video of elderly women at a party lining up rails of cocaine:
  • “There are people partying of all ages… it pans to one particular grandma… and she takes one gak… Her friends are high-fiving her...” (32:14–33:41)
• Moral? Let the old folks party:
  • “Normalize partying at a certain age… I earned it!” (34:43–34:48)
  • “If you’ve turned 73… you should be able to do whatever the fuck it is you want to do.” (36:00)
• Philosophy of life stages:
  • “As a teen and in your 20s, you experiment… 30s you straighten up… And then once you get to super retirement age… party.” (35:00–36:06)
  • “If you’re over the age of, let’s call it 73… you should have on demand narcotics.” (30:31)
  • “Give me the K… I want to do mushroom therapy.” (30:53)

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6. Fast Food, Taco Bell Loyalty, and Sauce Rants

• Tina admits to being a die-hard Taco Bell regular:
  • “I’m a fire tier [Taco Bell] rewards member… Pretty regular, yeah.” (37:42–37:44)
  • Tragic loss of favorite menu items (“No double deckers… no chili cheese burritos… all my favorites are gone”). (37:51–38:04)
  • Keto Tacobell hack: “Nacho Cheese Locos… bust it in a bowl and empty the contents of two more tacos into it…” (39:41)
• Rants about stingy sauce policies at McDonald’s, Zaxby’s, Hardee’s:
  • “They charge you at Zaxby’s… 75 cents. I came here for the Zaxby sauce. I paid $13 for your chicken tenders. Give me my sauce.” (41:29–41:39)
  • Shout-out to Chick-fil-A’s generosity: “They will literally give you 100 of those things.” (41:01)

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7. Toilet Talk: Bidets, Wipes, and Transnational Butt Towel Culture

• Wiping Techniques—A Family Debate:
  • Bryan: “My opinion on this is you go wet wipe to toilet paper—wet to dry.” (45:20)
  • Tina: “Dry, then wet—wet to clean, and then another pass with a dry.” (45:48)
• Scientific study says maybe don’t wipe so much:
  • “They’re saying… you shouldn’t wipe at all… your body was built to take that bacteria… can’t even think of anything more disgusting than leaving shit on your asshole.” (46:28–47:31)
• European bidet culture, butt towels, and family anecdotes:
  • “When I was in Greece… all the bathrooms had two bowls… And everyone just had a towel on the wall… that was your butt towel.” (50:16)
  • “This is why some European countries really have it correct… [and have] the towel drying rack, the heated towel rack.” (50:46)
  • Both hosts marvel at technological advances in bidets: heated seats, lights, hot and cold options, remote controls. (51:20–52:07)
• Tina recommends affordable bidet upgrades for “everyone.” (52:15–52:20)

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8. Smoking in Airports/Bathrooms & End-of-Show Musings

• Laments about disappearing smoker-friendly spaces:
  • “I do feel for the smokers now… You have to go all the way… into the plane exhaust in order to get a cigarette...” (56:24)
• Cigarettes in bathrooms:
  • Reminisces about restaurant-era ashtrays in stalls and customers smoking while on the toilet. (54:14–54:48)
• Episode wrap-up:
  • Recaps the wild range of topics: “Fast food, smoking, your mom, your mother-in-law, rags, food frags, sex grandpa, Smokey, cocaine-inhaling grandmother, gypsy grandmothers…” (56:47–57:05)
  • Emotional but light-hearted send-off for Tina:
    • “You must come in when you have a chance, as often as possible… you’ve been a big part of the commercial break.” (57:17–57:32)
    • “From me to you: I love you.” (57:32–57:34)

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Memorable Quotes

• “There are no litter boxes in fucking schools.” (04:36, Bryan)
• “He doesn’t even know what a furry is then… you don’t identify as a furry.” (07:59, Tina)
• “If you’re another human being in my way for any reason whatsoever, I’ll act nice to you but in the back of my brain I’m really pissed off you’re in my way.” (15:49, Bryan)
• “We don’t sexualize our elderly, nor should they be sexualizing themselves.” (27:19, Tina)
• “If you’re over the age of, let’s call it 73… you should have on demand narcotics.” (30:31, Bryan)
• “Normalize partying at a certain age. I earned it!” (34:43, Tina)
• “This is the most disgusting, putrid shit I’ve ever heard and it doesn’t make any sense. Smokey, stop.” (26:36, Bryan)

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Notable Segment Timestamps

• Tina’s Farewell Introduced & Early Podcast Memories: 00:43–02:48
• Furry Panic and Legislative Absurdity: 03:59–11:53
• Taboo Relationships/In-Law Drama: 12:54–18:13
• Smokey Robinson Lyric Roast: 19:16–29:37, continuation with lyrics reading 24:40–28:10
• Old People Partying with Cocaine: 32:14–36:06
• Fast Food Sauce & Taco Bell Obsessions: 37:42–41:39
• Toilet Talk & Bidet Culture: 44:36–54:02
• Cigarettes in Airports & Bathrooms: 54:14–56:24
• Final Emotional Send-Off for Tina: 57:17–59:21

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Episode Tone & Takeaway

Joyfully irreverent, self-aware, and sprawling. This episode encapsulates what fans love about The Commercial Break: an authentic, unscripted conversational ride brimming with dark humor, cultural commentary, and lifelong friends riffing without filter. In the midst of absurd detours, there’s heartfelt warmth—especially in the goodbye to Tina.

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“I love you. Best to you. And best to you out there in the podcast universe!” (59:14–59:21)

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Transcript

[A]

Like this little guy had a change of heart, backing out when they got to the top. I'd rather check myself before I wreck myself. On this episode of the Commercial break. Open up. Let me in. Let's me and you. Let's begin. I fit in. I fit in there. I fit in there. Oh, baby now, oh, baby now oh, baby now. Can we be in heavy? Like, this is the most disgusting, putrid shit I've ever heard, and it doesn't make any. Any sense. Smokey, stop. The next episode of the commercial Break starts now.

[B]

Yeah, boy.

[A]

Cats and kittens, welcome back to the commercial break. I'm Brian Green. This is the dear friend of the commercial break, Tina. Tina. Best to you. Best to you, Brian, and best you out there in the podcast universe. Tina joining us maybe not for one last hurrah, but maybe for one last hurrah. As Tina sails off into the sunset, flies the nest to go. To go be on her own. Yeah, it only took you 43 years, but that's okay. Hey, listen, we all do it at some point.

[B]

All in due time.

[A]

All in good time. But you have been a friend and a supporter of the show maybe since episode number one. I don't know. When did you start listening episode number one? Good for you. Maybe the only other person besides me who's listened to all episodes. I know Chrissy doesn't do it. She only does. She only listens every once in a blue moon. How do I know this is. Because she'll text me and she'll be like, oh, my God, I was listening to this episode, and we're actually pretty funny. And I'm like, don't you listen to all the episodes two weeks ago? She's like, no, I was in them. I was in them. I know I only listen for editing purposes, but I even get annoyed in my voice. So what do you think is the biggest. The biggest change since the first episode through now we're on whatever fast. Way past 400 episodes.

[B]

Gosh, I don't know if I could pinpoint the biggest one for sure. The music, I love. I love the tunes.

[A]

Yeah, me too. Yeah, I can't get rid of them. I think about changing them every season, but then I'm like, why would I? That'd be like Sanford and Sons changing.

[B]

That's right. It makes me happy when I hear it.

[A]

Yeah. Well, I appreciate the support from all. From the very beginning. Beginning. I really do. And. And you've been a dear friend of mine for decades and decades, and your love and support for the show is part of what has kept us going. Because certainly, at least at the very beginning, we had no one listening. So we would take any compliment.

[B]

I remember listening to it and texting you, like, correcting you.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And you're like, that. That was days ago, Tina.

[A]

Yeah, that was like two weeks ago, Tina. Thanks. As if I was on the radio. You're like, oh, no, no, that's not it. Yeah, people do that to me all the time. I have a friend who does that, Another friend of mine who does that also. She's like, oh, I'm listening to your episode and this is incorrect. And I'm like, yeah, I know. I'm always incorrect. I just have a bad brain. An actual fact, like you couldn't think.

[B]

Of something and I would just hit you with it. And you're like, this has no context. What are you.

[A]

You know, are you okay? Did you give me this? Did you say this? I don't. I took this as a grand compliment. But someone said they. I think it was you or maybe it was Allison. I can't remember. They said, you know how I know your show is really good is I listen and I'm in the car and I scream back at you. Like, when you say something that's incorrect, I scream at you. Yeah, I scream back at you. You must do a lot of screaming in that. Unsure of correct about anything. But you're moving on to take a new job and congratulations. I say best to you, my friend, and you know, we'll keep up with you on this new venture. You're always welcome to call the show and we'll get you on and perfect for certain circumstances like the following. I don't understand this. I really don't. I don't understand why certain political faction in this country, and I would say that that would be extreme conservatives or more far right leaning folks, why they are so goddamn hell bent on these kind of social causes that they take up, you know, just kind of beating on people who may not, may not otherwise. The weakest among us, right? They beat them up. And let me give you an example of this.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

There is a senator who is now proposing a bill into law. Or he's, you know, he's writing a bill into law. He wants to write a bill into law that is attacking the furry community. It basically says that in any federally funded school, you are not allowed to have any furry related activity. Do you remember way back at the beginning of the pandemic, we did, like multiple episodes on these shithead politicians out there that were claiming that there were litter boxes in the school.

[B]

Such psychosis. Yeah, it's psychosis.

[A]

It's sickening. It's maddening. Now listen, it happens on the left too. And I'm so. I'm not sure, but I'm talking about this one thing right now. I'm not talking about the sickness on the left. I'm talking about the sickness on the right, which is to take up social causes that affect absolutely nobody because it's not happening. There are no litter boxes in fucking schools.

[B]

Will there ever be?

[A]

I have yet to see a picture of a 8th grader pissing in a litter box.

[B]

Can you imagine a school district actually okaying that? I mean, just think about the health and sanitation. Get out of here. It would never happen.

[A]

It would never happen.

[B]

State funded, county funded, it's government funded. It's never. There's never gonna happen.

[A]

Janitors are not walking in and putting cat litter boxes in there so that people can dress up.

[B]

You have to be. To believe that could actually be happening.

[A]

You really have to have some screws loose. You know, I watch like this Channel 5 or some of these, you know, kind of the guys that are calling out some of the hypocrisy on all sides of the fence. Right. These.

[B]

That's the stuff I like.

[A]

Yes. Stuff I like. Like South Park. Right. They'll tackle anybody. And I. I tend to agree thing. Because if there's one thing that I hate, it's not the Republicans or the democrats or the independents, it's the fucking hypocrisy. That's what I hate. And it happens on all ends of the spectrum.

[B]

Yep.

[A]

And this drives me crazy because they're not putting fucking liquor litter boxes in the school. And I highly.

[B]

Ever.

[A]

Yes. And I highly doubt that anybody who chooses to dress as a furry or likes that activity or it's their hobby would take a dump in a litter box at their school because they think that. Who's thinking that way? Who's doing. No one. There's never been one janitor, not one photograph, not one iota of evidence that anybody has ever put a litter box in a school bathroom. Because they're. Because the furries need to use the litter box, first of all. Second of all, if it was to happen that someone took a picture of a litter box in a school, that in and of itself would be the joke. You don't get it. Like, they don't get it. These old fucking ass clowns making laws that don't affect anybody.

[B]

And so what do you mean no for like Chuck E. Cheese can't come to the school. Like, no furry related. No, no. That's the thing is, Slappy the Frog.

[A]

Whatever. Slappy the Frogie, the Bear. Frosty the Fire Frog. Do you remember that bit by Mitch Hedberg? That's what I'm referencing.

[B]

He was my favorite.

[A]

He was like Smokey. I do not understand why they put Smokey the Bear as a fire prevention tool. Because I am scared of bears. If I had a fire in the forest, I would run away from a bear, leaving the fire unattended. However, if I saw a frog, if I saw a frog, he would settle near me. Maybe he could sit next to me, could talk about how to properly put out a fire. I don't know. Frosty the Fire Frog. Mitch Hedberg was so good.

[B]

I loved him.

[A]

He was so good. Let's see this. Okay, I'll read this. You mean to read this to you?

[B]

Do it.

[A]

A Republican in this state. Excuse me, it's the state, not the. Not. Not a senator. Not a federally funded school. State funded schools. Justin Humphrey, an Oklahoma legislator who once said trans people are mentally ill is pushing debunked right wing talking point. A Republican legislator in Oklahoma who once said that transgender. Transgender people have a mental ill introduced a bill this week that would allow service animal services to remove students who identify themselves as furries. Did you hear what I just said?

[B]

This doesn't make any sense.

[A]

Animal services to allow. They would allow animal services to remove students who identify as furries. What in the good fuck?

[B]

He doesn't even know what a furry is then. Because the kid is. Is not identify. You don't identify as a furry.

[A]

You dress up like a furry. That's right.

[B]

They like to dress up. That's like saying a clown is a different animal or something. This doesn't make any sense to me.

[A]

Clown related services.

[B]

That's different. That's not a furry. We talked about this.

[A]

Oh, my God. This drives me. Absolutely.

[B]

Me too. It makes my brain just turn to spaghetti and then the rage starts building.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Bring me this person, please.

[A]

It drives me absolutely fucking bonkers. And then let me point out some hypocrisy on the other side, too. We're all upset because everyone in the world is upset because the Republicans, you know, attack Joe Biden for, you know, speaking slowly, looking this way, looking that way, looking old. Got one eye that droops or ever.

[B]

He is a.

[A]

He is. I honestly think there's some new blood that needs to go in there. But then Donald Trump waves to somebody. Did you See this? He waves outside of one of the trials. He's got a rash on his hand and people are like, oh, he's full of syphilis. He's got, you know, he's. He's like Al Capone. He's going crazy in his old age. He's got syphilis because of the. It's probably a rash on his hand. Leave him, Leave the guy alone. He burnt himself.

[B]

Vaccine, which he got, by the way. Right?

[A]

Yeah, but the vaccine. Yeah, yeah. I mean, come on, guys. I know we gotta stop all this. We got so many big. We got so many problems.

[B]

And just think about things before you attach yourself to it. Just give it one moment of thought.

[A]

Yeah. And so our good friend Justin Humphries in Oklahoma. Best to you, my friend, because you are really wasting your time in the taxpayers.

[B]

Nothing better to do.

[A]

Animal services is going to come remove children from school because they dress up like an animal.

[B]

I double dog dare you to have.

[A]

Double dog dare you to do that and see how well it goes for you, Justin. Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Okay, so. And I, I just don't understand why they take up these social causes that obviously go nowhere. It's like the abortion thing.

[B]

He created one that. That's not even a social cause. Right.

[A]

I mean, no one is asking for furries to be removed from school.

[B]

And no one's saying we don't want them here. Furries are the funnest, sweetest.

[A]

They are.

[B]

I mean, dress up.

[A]

My kids got a little bear hat with. One of my kids has a little bear.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

They look so cute.

[B]

So cute.

[A]

Wears it to school every day.

[B]

They're not telling you they're a panda bear or an, you know, they're just like, look at my hat.

[A]

I think these people take up these causes because they believe that it's going to bring them press. Right. I think that's one of the reasons it worked. It worked. It brought him press.

[B]

You got on the commercial break.

[A]

Yeah, you got on the commercial break and you've been in now thousands of, you know, news articles and news magazines and probably local media everywhere. But the question is, how does that make you look?

[B]

It makes you look.

[A]

Yes, you. Mentally ill. Makes you look mentally ill. Like you're sitting at home at night concerned that they're spiraling out of control.

[B]

These kids who like to dress up. And that don't exist, by the way, because you can't wear that to school.

[A]

Which school is allowing you to dress fully masked as a fully mass raccoon.

[B]

Yeah. You can't even like, yeah, you have to carry clear backpacks. You're certainly not letting them wear fursuits to biology.

[A]

If you have to go through a metal detector and a pat down to get to school, then you're certainly not wearing a full raccoon. Scoot to school. That's just not the scoot suit. He's worried about people fornicating and having little furry babies.

[B]

Out of control.

[A]

Totally and completely out of control. And I just wish that I. I wish that. I wish that we would address the real problems in this country, like the actual problems in this country, like debt and homelessness and, you know, comprehensive immigration.

[B]

Talk about the lunch program.

[A]

Yeah. And all that other stuff that really needs to be addressed. But no. So he's sitting there wasting the time of everybody in that. In that Oklahoma legislature. He is wasting their time.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Getting troll to remove, you know, family violence offenders from the home because those are the real animals.

[A]

Yeah. No, no, no, no, no. We. Yeah, but that's. Let's not talk about that. Let's sweep that under the rug because that's not a real problem. Gina. That's one that's just.

[B]

Right, right, right.

[A]

That just happens every third hour. We're not. That just happens every third hour. We're worried about something I read on TikTok. This is what happens when you let old white men get on TikTok. That's all I'm gonna say. Speaking of old white men, me Tick tock. Oh, what you know I wanted to do. You re. You. You may not or may have heard this episode. We had an ask TCB where someone wrote in and they said that they're. They were thinking about getting with their husband's best friend after they had divorced and what should we do? Or she had gotten with. She had slept with her husband's best friend. Her and her husband divorced. So I like kind of related, but unrelated. I was reading about cheating related activities online when I was doing homework for this and I found a story that I think is. Is crazy and apparently is more common than we would otherwise think.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

And that is sleeping with your mother in law, father in law. So I read an article that was a tick tocker who had 1.2 million views on this Tick tock live that she did that Tick tock live. She shared that she got a divorce from her husband about a decade ago because he was having an affair with her mother for like a long time. So her mom moved in under some circumstances. Then she got an apartment right down the street. And then the husband and her were always doing something. They were. Oh, they were commuting together to work because they worked in the same area of town. And the grandparents, her grandparents knew about this the whole time because they had not only had the mother confessed to her mother that she was sleeping with her daughters. Yeah. With her son in law. But then apparently they had walked in a few times, caught them holding hands or in otherwise compromising positions. And the grandparents never said anything to their granddaughter. And so I was like, holy, this is a crazy story. If you really think about this like you're sleeping with your mother in law. That's insane.

[B]

That's mommy issues to the end. 10th degree.

[A]

Oh, can. I mean, what kind of family drama? And so. But that article then had links to Reddit posts. That then had links to other Reddit posts. I must have read 30 different posts. Various places in the Internet where people were either confessing that they had done this or were saying that this had been done to them. Like they, their significant other had slept with their in laws.

[B]

We talked about it. You talked about it on one early episode at the, the party, remember? And the mom like put the boy to bed.

[A]

Oh, yeah, that's right. But that wasn't.

[B]

They didn't actually.

[A]

They weren't there. No, they did. They slept together. But that was a teacher. Oh, remember? The teacher was at the party, wasn't it a teacher that was at the party?

[B]

No. The mom didn't like the boy that her daughter was marrying. And at the engagement party, they were wealthy.

[A]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

She put him in bed and took a compromising position. Nothing happened, but the daughter thought it did.

[A]

The daughter thought it did.

[B]

Because this happens frequently. There's a couple of TV shows. Did you watch Obsession? It has to be frequently running through our culture because this TV show, Obsession, very hot, by the way. But that's what it is. The girl is being introduced to her future husband's family and she starts having an affair with his dad.

[A]

No. Really?

[B]

But it's creepy. Yeah, it's hot, but it's creepy. It's hot. But like it. To think about it, it's like people really do this.

[A]

Isn't that like a, like a storyline? Like a subplot of 50 Shades of Gray? Or is that Christian Gray? Christian Gray slept with his mother's best friend.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Is that what it was?

[B]

Okay, but that's also. We. It's also weird. It's so strangers and best friends and fathers and I think it's all off limits.

[A]

Off limits.

[B]

There's plenty of people out there.

[A]

There's lots of people out there every day.

[B]

I scream at them in traffic frequently.

[A]

Pissed at them all the time. Pissed at everybody all the time. If you're another human being in my way for any, any reason whatsoever, I'll act nice to you. But in the back of my brain, I'm really pissed off that you're in my way. You know what I'm saying? But there are plenty of human beings out there you don't have to sleep with your in laws and. Or brothers, sisters. Yeah, cousins.

[B]

Right.

[A]

Just stay out of the family. How about one per family?

[B]

That's my friend and I were just talking about this yesterday. She's like introduced a guy that she started seeing to her friend group and he decided he didn't want to see her anymore because he wants to date her friend. And she was like, no. Go find your own friends.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Like, no. And there's an understanding amongst the group of friends. Like, we bring a dude into the circle, like, that's it.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

You don't sleep with my friends.

[A]

No.

[B]

You have plenty of. This is a big city. Yeah, go.

[A]

It's a big city, but it's a small city. But it's big enough that you don't have to sleep in the same friend circle. You can move to a different friend.

[B]

That's right. Go make your own.

[A]

Now, I get that. I get the friend circle thing, but I think family members.

[B]

You shouldn't even have to talk about it.

[A]

No, no. Kevin and I slept with the same person once. I think not at the same time.

[B]

But it made an impact, right?

[A]

Oh, you betcha. See, it was like a whole for a year.

[B]

It's a whole. No, no.

[A]

It's a whole. No, no. And I don't know what I was thinking. Like, I think Kevin dated her first, if I'm not mistaken. And then I dated her months and months later. But it still caused a big row because of course it was.

[B]

Sure.

[A]

Yeah. And listen, at that point, we're young men.

[B]

Like, we're, you know, you're figuring out that's a no. No.

[A]

Yeah. I was just happy.

[B]

You have to learn the hard way.

[A]

Just happy. Anybody was willing to take their shirt off in front of me. I was like, tits. Yes.

[B]

But could you imagine if she slept with your dad?

[A]

No.

[B]

I mean, no brain damage. Something's wrong.

[A]

You go to therapy for a long time.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

If someone is sleeping with your. Especially someone you slept with is then sleeping with your parents.

[B]

Oh, my gosh.

[A]

I can't even imagine. And I Don't think there's any circumstance upon which I think that's okay. Even it's not the ones what the hut wants. You put your dick back in your pants, dude.

[B]

You don't.

[A]

You do not have to sleep with someone's mother.

[B]

Let the brain run that train.

[A]

That's a good one. I like that.

[B]

Thanks.

[A]

But it's apparently so prevalent, and when I say so prevalent, I mean, I found 30. I'm saying 30 separate instances now. This is online, and people could be making up. Right. But even the fact that we're talking about it like it's in the ethos makes me think it's happening a lot more than we think it is.

[B]

That's how I felt when I watched Obsession.

[A]

Yeah. This must be happening because somebody's writing about it.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And. And it got made into a television series that now millions of people may watch.

[B]

Correct.

[A]

Insane.

[B]

Ew.

[A]

I don't ever.

[B]

Actually.

[A]

I don't think I've ever dated a girl where I was attracted to the mother.

[B]

Yeah. Because we're not built like that.

[A]

No. Well, we're not built like that. Right.

[B]

But most people. I mean, as. Just. If you think about biology, Right. You're looking to procreate. It's just all propagation of your DNA.

[A]

Correct.

[B]

Grandma's not gonna. You know.

[A]

Yeah. It's not doing it for me.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. I want the young one, not the old one.

[B]

This is how I feel about Smokey Robinson and his damn gasms. I don't want to think about him having a gas.

[A]

I don't want to think about. No. I'm afraid his face is gonna fall off. That guy looks weird.

[B]

I knew you as Grandpa before. It's worse now. Like, I don't want to picture you in a sexual situation, because at a certain age. Certain ages are off limits.

[A]

You're so right about this. Smokey Robinson was a mainstay on my grandmother's turntable.

[B]

Yes. He was Grandpa when I was a kid.

[A]

That's correct.

[B]

Now he's great, great grandpa.

[A]

I don't know.

[B]

And he's talking about.

[A]

He's 87 years old. I think it hurts. 87. It does hurt my feelings, too, that he's gasm. Gasm. Gasm. And then there's that other song on there, which I don't even want to get into. Where he's filling your hole.

[B]

I fit in there.

[A]

I fit in there.

[B]

And I. When I heard that, I was like, I know he got into Prince's vault. I know he did. Somebody slid it to him. On the down low. This is Prince music. Prince would sing it. Not creepy. He was sexy from jump.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

He can stay sexy. He's in that lane. Smokey is out of his lane.

[A]

Yes. Prince had that imp childlike look about him that even in. In his. When did he die? He was like in 53 or something like that.

[B]

Yes. Okay.

[A]

Even in 53, he still looked like a young man.

[B]

It doesn't matter. I met him when I was a child. He was still doing sex music.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

So him doing sex music at 60 doesn't offend me.

[A]

Yeah. Tears of a Clown didn't make me horny in any way, shape or form.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Cruisin'. Which one is that?

[B]

Smokey Robinson, you know.

[A]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

Like his songs, like. Yes, they make me happy. I feel good.

[A]

They don't make you horny?

[B]

Never. And I don't want to think about him horny ever.

[A]

No.

[B]

He was never in a sex position situation.

[A]

And I certainly don't want to think about it. At 87 years old when he's saying Jazzly.

[B]

It's so upsetting. I'm playing it at my party tomorrow.

[A]

Are you?

[B]

Until somebody notices, I'm just going to put it on repeat.

[A]

Are you gonna play gasms or are you gonna play Fill My Hole?

[B]

Both of them back.

[A]

I fit in there.

[B]

And just wait till I fit in there. It's so creepy. Don't look at the lyrics. It'll ruin you.

[A]

I can't.

[B]

I can't.

[A]

I can't. I can't quite believe that. That this hasn't taken the Internet by storm.

[B]

I've seen the word penetrate in it.

[A]

It is penetrating it.

[B]

He uses penetrate twice.

[A]

All right, I'm looking that up.

[B]

I'm so sorry.

[A]

I'm looking that up.

[B]

I'm sorry, everyone.

[A]

Okay, let's take a short break and then we'll be back with our good friend Tina as we give her a farewell. Not farewell forever from the commercial break, but a farewell from the microphone from the physical location. Yeah. Okay. We'll be back.

[C]

Sorry to interrupt, but that's kind of my thing these days. If you're sick of me interrupting, Brian, give us a call at 626-ASKTCB-3. Leave us a voicemail and maybe I'll interrupt you on the show instead. You'd love that, wouldn't ya? You can Also text us at 855-TCB8383 and check out our website, tcbpodcast.com for all things TCB. You know what's coming next, follow us on Instagram hecommercial break and on TikTok CBpodcast. And now let's listen to some sponsors, because they're the real ones around here.

[A]

This episode is sponsored in part by Magic Spoon. Okay, if you've listened to any amount of the commercial break, then you know one of my disgusting food habits is to eat sugary cereals with cream late at night. Well, the earth just turned one year older and I've decided to do away with the empty calories and added sugars. The good news for my bad cereal habit, I have Magic Spoon. Magic Spoon recreates all the flavors that we loved as children without all the baggage that goes in our bellies. It has all the flavors you love, but it's high in protein and it has less sugar. Astrid and I just bought a variety pack that has four flavors. Cocoa, fruity, frosted, and peanut butter. This pack has 0 grams of sugar, 13 to 14 grams of protein, and 4 to 5 grams of net carbs. It's only 140 calories per serving. It's high protein, has 0 grams of sugar, keto friendly, gluten free, grain free and soy free. And I get the taste of my favorite cereal without all the guilt. Magic Spoon is returning to the commercial break as a sponsor, and we're so happy that they're offering you a discount. Go to magicspoon.com tcb to grab a variety pack and try it today. And be sure to use our promo code TCB at checkout to save $5 off your order. And Magic Spoon is so confident in their product, it's backed with a 100% happiness guarantee. So if you don't like it for any reason, they'll refund your money. Absolutely. Absolutely. No questions asked. Remember to start the near off right with a delicious bowl of high protein [e-mail] tcb and be sure to use the promo code tcb to save $5 off. That's magicspoon.com tcb and use the code tcb to save $5 Off. Thank you, Magic Spoon, for being a sponsor of the commercial break and giving me something to look forward to late night after I get out of the studio. Okay. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I don't want to hear it. I am highly debating whether or not I should even read these lyrics. This might be too much for even the commercial. This is up.

[B]

His people let him down. Who let this happen?

[A]

Which producer? First of all, the music agent producer who the music is Good.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

The lyrics and the. The way he sings is terrible. He' three steps and two octaves. I don't know who let him do this.

[B]

It's not good.

[A]

It's not good. This is AI generated. I'm sure of it. This must be a joke. His producers or his agents must have said, smokey, we haven't had a hit since 1984. We need to get you back in the limelight.

[B]

We got these Prince tracks.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

We stole them from the Prince family Foundation.

[A]

I don't even think. No, this is terrible writing.

[B]

It's terrible.

[A]

Prince made. Prince, made some wonderful music. Absolutely.

[B]

You know how much I love him.

[A]

I love Princess Prince. I love Prince. I'm falling all over again with his version of Nothing Compares to you, by the way. And the live versions are just incredible. But anyway, I'm gonna do this. I'm gonna read you these lyrics. I'm not gonna play this all.

[B]

Don't.

[A]

I'm gonna let you listen to me read them. Let me in your life. Make some room for me. If deep down inside you're hoping to fill up. Up an opening, first of all, it doesn't even rhyme. Second of all, there's.

[B]

He's making no.

[A]

No bones about it to fill up an opening. Then he says, I fit in there. I fit in there. I fit in there. I fit in there. Four separate times he's telling you, my pocket pussy. I don't fit in there. I don't fit in there. I don't fit in there. I don't fit in there. By the way, follow up to the pocket. Apparently you have to. To. You have to work it a little bit.

[B]

Oh, she wants four.

[A]

Yeah, she wants four. Imagine to get her to open up, she's got to be stressed out a little bit. But I've already given up on the idea. So thanks for the advice, but no, thanks. By the way, we have some really perverted listeners out there because a lot of people chimed in on the pocket telling me that I had to work on it. And I'm like, work on it? I'm not gonna go to work on a pocket.

[B]

This isn't a date.

[A]

No. Oh, baby, now, now I'm watching and waiting and anticipating and first opening, I'm gonna strike. If you don't wanna be in love, what in the fuck does that mean? I'm watching, I'm waiting. And the first opening, I'm gonna strike. You're 87 years old.

[B]

Yeah, we don't talk about openings anymore, Smokey.

[A]

No. You're lucky if you get the prune juice in your mouth.

[B]

Shut your mouth to take the Viagra.

[A]

Yeah, that's right. And then he says, can we be in heavy lights? Can we be in heavy?

[B]

Like instead of in love, he wants to be in like.

[A]

Yeah. Oh, heavy like. Oh, okay, I get it. I thought I'd be young. It's too weird, it's too strange.

[B]

It's too weird.

[A]

If you got one whole hour, one whole day if you got one whole life. I don't have a crystal ball. I can't do future reads But I know when it comes to it all your future needs. Oh, my God. That's disgusting. Open up, let me in.

[B]

Here we go.

[A]

Lets me and you let's begin. I fit in I fit in there I fit in there. Oh, baby now oh baby now oh baby now can we be in heavy like. This is the most disgusting, putrid shit I've ever heard and it doesn't make any sense. Smokey, stop. I am the least talented person within 300 miles of here, but I would make you better lyrics for a romantic song. Age appropriate for a man. That was 87. I don't even think Frank. Well, Frankie B. Probably would say something like this, but I don't even. I don't know any other 80 plus year old man. They may think like this, but I don't hear them saying stuff like this out loud.

[B]

We don't sexualize our elderly, nor should they be sexualizing themselves.

[A]

Well, I get it if you want to. Like. I. I don't disagree with people.

[B]

No, I don't either.

[A]

At 87.

[B]

No. Do it.

[A]

No. But I don't want music about it.

[B]

Yeah, he sing about it.

[A]

You're so right about this. And I think I'm right about this. We're both on the same page here. I think Smokey is just trying to get some attention. I think he's trying to get some attention.

[B]

I don't know why this is not more sensational than I just said it.

[A]

I can't believe this isn't all over the. This is not all over the Internet. I saw one Instagram reel about Gasms and it wasn't like. I don't even think it was making fun of gasms. I think it might have been more of a promotional thing like, oh, look what Smokey's up to. And then I saw one Tick Tock who clearly hit it on. Hit the nail on the head. She was like, I respect Smokey. Smokey can do whatever he wants. He's always going to be a hero. To me. What in the good are you doing?

[B]

Don't damage it now. No, he's gonna go. Somebody. He's gonna. There's another one on there. I listened to the whole album last night because that's what I do with my life. It's. The whole thing's pretty disturbing. There's one like your body or something like that. Really freaking bad. It's just. I don't know what he was thinking, and I'm really disappointed in the people in his life.

[A]

Me too.

[B]

A daughter, a friend, anyone.

[A]

The. This. The songwriter is William Robinson Jr. That's Smokey Robinson, right?

[B]

I don't. I don't.

[A]

Let me see here. I want to see if he's. His son is writing this or if he's writing.

[B]

If his son wrote this for his dad.

[A]

William Robinson Jr. Is William Robinson. Smokey is Smokey Robinson.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

He wrote his own lyrics, and they are absolutely terrible.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

He took a hot dump on the.

[B]

Floor on his, like, whole reputation, in my opinion, because now I'll never hear him the same again. I'll be hearing gasms every time Cruising comes on the radio.

[A]

That's it. And you know what? This is like that Rudy Giuliani, you know, Rudy, he was like our hero, 9, 11. He just should have stopped there. Just stopped. There's no reason to get involved in any other bullshit. Yeah. Now he's just some crazy old man who runs around, you know, know, touching, fondling his maids or his assistants or whatever.

[B]

He's got to be fondling somebody.

[A]

Definitely.

[B]

And that Gasm song, if you really look at the lyrics, super creepy stalker style.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

It. Yeah. I want to be your eargasm, your everything.

[B]

He's just watching.

[A]

I'm watching Gasm. Yeah. Yeah, he's.

[B]

Something's not right.

[A]

I just hope I don't get like that when I'm all. Put me out to pasture. That's all I got to say.

[B]

Or just check in, make sure I'm okay, and then put me on.

[A]

Yeah. If I'm going to be that crazy.

[B]

And that creepy, we're going to send her to space camp.

[A]

I want space camp. I sent you to actual space. They're up to Skylab and let her do a few.

[B]

She'll be safe up there.

[A]

Yeah, send her with a. You know, send Brian with a pocket up the Skylab and put him in his own corner. Let him float around trying to something. If you're gonna make. If you. If I'm gonna be this crazy when I'm old, please let me Be on some really good drugs. Some really good drugs.

[B]

That's all I ask.

[A]

I think it should be mandatory that old people get drugs on demand.

[B]

Whatever they want.

[A]

Whatever they want. Want. You want morphine? Cool, dude.

[B]

However much you want.

[A]

However much you want. Because I don't give a if, if I don't take the Vicodin away from the 20 year olds, give it to the over 70 crowd. And if you're over the age of, let's call it 73. If you're over the age of 73, then you should have on demand narcotics. You should go to your doctor just to make sure that you're not, you.

[B]

Know, like, yeah, give me the K. Give me the.

[A]

Yeah, give it all. I want the K. I want to do mushroom therapy. Yeah, yeah. There was a Instagram reel that I saw last night. I passed it around. I'll send it to you. I'm assuming this is an Eastern European country, like Croatia or somewhere like that. There's some music playing in the background. Or maybe I. I don't know, maybe it's like northern Pakistan or something. I'm not really sure. But there's some music playing in the background that indicates it's Eastern European or, or possibly, you know, Pakistan or Afghanistan. There are people partying of all ages, young and old. But the reel opens up and it's focusing on a table with old grandmas. Imagine like old gypsy grandmas. They look like gypsies, right? And at first you're like, oh, cute little party with some grandmas. A table of grandmas drinking their wine, doing their thing. But then it pans to one particular grandma on the right. And that grandma is holding a plate. And she's holding a plate and someone hands her a rolled up bill. Bill, like a monetary bill. I'd say a dollar, but it's probably not a dollar. And she taps it on the table. She keeps tapping it on the table. And then she takes one gak. If you look closely at this white plate, it's got a.2 huge rails on it. And she gax one with one line and then she gax the other with the other one. And she has the reaction of someone who just did cocaine. She's like gagging a little bit and she's like. And she's rubbing her teeth.

[B]

Teeth.

[A]

And then they pass it over to another. This, because I'm going to assume this woman was in her late 60s, early 70s. They pass it over to another lady who is in her 80s or 90s. I'm assuming she is so old and another lady takes a credit card and smashes her out two additional rails and she does one with her nose and then she sucks one up with her mouth. Whoa. Yes. And then she's like. And she's like, yeah. Takes a big gulp of wine. Geeks out instantly geeking out. Out so fast. Cut to sometime later. They're all out on the floor dancing as. As if they had just gacked up a couple of runners.

[B]

I need that at that age, though, if I'm going to go cut a rug. Like, I love to dance.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

But at 70, I don't know, I'm going to need some energy. I'm a little kick in the ass.

[A]

So at first I'm like, let me, let me, let me play this for you. Right, right quick. So just so you know what we're talking about here.

[B]

I'm not even going to be. Yeah. And no one should be even mad about it.

[A]

It. Whoa.

[B]

Oh, yeah. This does look potentially. Yeah, it is. A table full of elderly. She's banging it too.

[A]

She's banging it.

[B]

She's banging it.

[A]

She banged it.

[B]

The, the younger crowd's like encouraging it. There's children watching. Boom. That was impressive.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

She takes it down fast. They've got dinner on the table.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

I love it.

[A]

And then the old woman.

[B]

Yeah, she's got, she's got one eyebrow. Bang. Yep.

[A]

And then sucks it up and her.

[B]

Friends are high fiving her and they're.

[A]

Everyone's clapping and they're encouraging her. They're like, go ahead, go ahead. Oh, look, she takes a swig of wine.

[B]

That's impressive.

[A]

She's feeling better. And then there we go.

[B]

This party's like my family. Yeah.

[A]

So at first I'm a little bit disturbed by this. I watched this reel like 30 times just to see if it's. Is it real? Are we, you know.

[B]

Oh, that looked pretty real.

[A]

Look real.

[B]

So the nine year olds were just like peering over.

[A]

They were sitting at the edge of the table like, oh, this is what.

[B]

We get into once we get old. We get to do this.

[A]

We get to do this or do we get to do it now?

[B]

I'm not even sure this is grandma's medicine. That's what I would tell my kids, everybody's medicine.

[A]

So at first I'm a little disturbed by this. I'm like, oh, my God. This is really weird. Strange. So foreign. Such a foreign concept to my mind that these older folks would be banging rails like this in public, in such public, because the. Anytime I've banged a rail it's either been in a dark, dingy, smelly bathroom or at the comfort of my own home with close confidants and friends who I know are not going to take a picture of me and send it out to the world. Right. But then I was like, normalize.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Partying at a certain age.

[B]

I earned it.

[A]

Yes, yes.

[B]

Let them have it. Let me have it. I'm not. We're not far. Far from it. Just saying.

[A]

I mean, I don't know how close I am to it, but yeah, I think I. Hey, in 30 years, listen, 30, 40 years. I'm good.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. So halfway there, I'm thinking to myself, here's how it goes. As a teen and in your 20s, you experiment, right.

[B]

You try it out.

[A]

You try it out. You get the partying out of the way. You make sure you have a good time. Don't take it too far. Have some fun. Get all your giggles out. In your 30s, you straighten up, get a job. Get a job. Have a family. Yeah. If that's what you choose to do. Wife, husband, whatever you want to do. Right, Right. And you work until you're like you're 60 years old. And then you spend some time with the grandkids as a normalized human being so the grandkids don't think you're a total up. You have some fun.

[B]

You gotta help the parents out because they gotta do.

[A]

Yeah, they gotta go. You gotta babysit, all that. You can't be banging rails while you're babysitting. I guess you could, but that's, you know, that's Florida for you. And then once you get to like super retirement age. 73 years old. Yeah, I'm saying 73 is the line of demarcation. If you've turned 73, if you've made it 73 years on this earth and otherwise unscathed.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You should be able to do whatever the it is you want to do. And you should be just be hands off. There should be no law that can touch you.

[B]

I agree.

[A]

You should be a bang rails, bang heroin tattoos, face tattoos. Who gives a. I checked out Viking in a bedtime Viking and breakfast. Give me some of those Vikios.

[B]

Yeah, it's the K at bedtime to bring you off those rails you banged out all day.

[A]

Yeah. And you should check in with a doctor every once in a while just to make sure, you know, you don't have any gut problems, you're not bleeding internally or some like that. But if you're really physical, as per usual. Yeah. And if you're otherwise checked out by the doctor, you should allowed to be continued. You should be allowed to continue to party. Just like this.

[B]

Yeah. You can tattoo like DNR right on my chest.

[A]

Do not resuscitate under any circumstances.

[B]

That way I don't become a burden to society if I manage to go too far.

[A]

Yeah, that's what I was thinking. And when I was looking at this, this, when I was looking at this, I was like, are one of these ladies going to literally fall over?

[B]

Heart attack, stroke.

[A]

You know, there's that one enzyme that like certain people carry in their bodies. There's like some enzyme that it you're allergic to cocaine. And the second that you do that first rail, bam, you're done. Heart attack.

[B]

Whoa.

[A]

Did happen to that high school basketball player. I wish I can remember his name. He was very famous high school or college basketball player. He did one bump of cocaine. Bam. Massive heart attack.

[B]

That's awful. I did not know about that now.

[A]

Yeah. And now that might be be.

[B]

You know, it's kind of terrifying.

[A]

Might be a wives tale. Like Taco Bell is dog food kind of thing.

[B]

Back off the bell.

[A]

Do you still eat Taco Bell, Brian?

[B]

Oh, no, I have the app. I'm a fire.

[A]

You're a fire sauce kind of girl.

[B]

I'm a fire tier rewards member.

[A]

No.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

Are you eating Taco Bell on the regular?

[B]

Pretty regular, yeah.

[A]

What is your thing over there at the Taco Bell?

[B]

I don't have. I'm pretty open.

[A]

You're pretty open to whatever.

[B]

I tend to stick with the chicken double bubble.

[A]

Bubble.

[B]

They don't do that anymore. All my favorite items are gone.

[A]

But they don't do chalupas anymore.

[B]

No chalupas. They do, but they don't do no double deckers. Those are gone. None of those chili cheese burritos gone. Really? Yeah.

[A]

I was listening to One of those McDonald's executive chefs do a podcast. You know, he's like one of those corporate chefs who makes up new things and he was talking about how, you know, in McDonald's world there's so many stakeholders because they're France. There's so many of their of their restaurants are franchised. They that making a new item for the menu has to be tested and retested and everybody has to have their say and you have to do this and you have to do that and at the end of the day, what you end up with is just another cheeseburger with some lettuce on it. Right. That's what you end up with.

[B]

Just give us a double cheese, no onions and leave it alone.

[A]

But Taco Bell because it's mainly corporately owned by PepsiCo.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Still the people. It is. Is it PepsiCo that still owns it?

[B]

I'm pretty sure.

[A]

Okay. Oh no, it's Yum Brands. Yum Brands own. Owns it now. Same people own KFC, so. Which I think might be owned by PepsiCo. I don't know. Who knows? Look that up in your funkin wagnose because yeah, if you're looking for facts. Yeah, yeah, but they. He was saying that Taco Bell has the. I don't know, has the luxury, I guess, has the latitude to just go ahead and put something on the menu. Because what they're doing is just taking stuff they already have in house, you know, adding an extra tortilla, putting some more refried beans, gluing it together with cheese and handing it to your gut. Yeah. And hopefully makes it out your ass the next day. So you really like Taco Bell?

[B]

I do.

[A]

How many times a week are you going to Taco Bell?

[B]

Probably once.

[A]

Probably once a week.

[B]

When I was in the office. When I was in the office it was more often than that. But I do a lot of keto dieting. Taco Bell's really great for that. It is, yeah. Why I get. Well, I would get my Nacho Cheese Locos Crunchy Taco.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Bust it in a bowl and then empty the contents of two more tacos in it. It's like 10 carbs and fills you up for like five hours.

[A]

Well, did not know that.

[B]

It's just lettuce, meat, tomatoes, sour cream, a little hot sauce.

[A]

If you're not ketoing it. What is your favorite item? Like if you're not going for this lettuce bowl.

[B]

I'm kind of a Belgrande girl. I like my nachos.

[A]

You like the nachos? I always like the supreme tacos. No tomatoes. So like taco sour cream.

[B]

I get the soft Taco Supremes all.

[A]

The time, but then fire sauce it.

[B]

I'm a Diablo, but I use both actually.

[A]

Oh, do you?

[B]

Yeah, I have a drawer full at home.

[A]

Wow. I have. I still have some. And I haven't been to a Taco Bell in probably you have to throw.

[B]

Goes out every six months. You do six months shelf life. Don't.

[A]

Well, thank God I don't eat it on anything. Don't just save there for the one day that I go to Taco Bell. Yeah. For the apocalypse. You have to throw those out every six months.

[B]

Six Months.

[A]

Do you think Taco Bell does that?

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Oh, I hope so.

[B]

They go through them. Yeah, because they always give you 200 when you're like, I need two mild sauces. And they're like, here's 50.

[A]

I don't like the rest. The fast food restaurants, to get stingy on it, like, you go to a McDonald's, you ask for ketchup. They give you one packet, and they're like, do you need any more? And then I'm like, yeah, like a handful. And then you get two. And I'm like, no, I need. Need like, a hundred of them. Can you please do that?

[B]

I had them try to charge me for some hot mustard not too long ago.

[A]

No, they stopped that now. They stopped that now. Now they just give it to you for free.

[B]

Paying for that?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Give it to. Give me that.

[A]

Give me. Because you know who's killing them in that department? Chick Fil A. That's right. You asked for. You ask for barbecue sauce at Chick Fil A, and you say, can I please get a lot of Chick Fil A sauce or hot sauce or barbecue sauce or whatever it is? They will literally give you 100 of those things. Because that's the way you should do it. That's the way you keep on coming, coming back. I'm not paying 50 extra cents for the shitty KFC barbecue sauce.

[B]

No.

[A]

No.

[B]

That's right. No.

[A]

Why would I do that? I don't know these goddamn fast food places.

[B]

Zaxby is the worst.

[A]

Oh, they made. They charge you at Zaxby's.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You.

[B]

You. Not even. Every meal comes with one. 75 cents.

[A]

75 cents.

[B]

I came here for the Zaxby sauce. I paid $13 for your chicken tenders. Give me my sauce.

[A]

What's Zaxby sauce? Is that like a. Like a.

[B]

They call it Zach sauce.

[A]

It's like a mayonnaise base.

[B]

Yep.

[A]

Yeah. With hot sauce or something in. Jesus Christ. Zaxby's. Loosen up the belt.

[B]

I know. They have great ice, though, so they get away with it.

[A]

I think that's why Hardee's went down. Hardee's went down because they don't give you any free sauce. Is there a Hardies around anymore?

[B]

Do they have sauce?

[A]

I don't know. There's a Hardee's up the street, actually, but I've never seen anyone there. I'm like, how does Hardy make any money? If you've ever eaten at a Hardee's, you. You. You may understand why. Although I hear they have good breakfast Sandwiches. Okay, let's take a break. We're talking about fast food. Yeah. We'll be right back. Finally.

[C]

I feel like I was waiting forever for my turn to talk. Now that I have you, go to tcbpodcast.com to find all of our audio and video content and follow us on Instagram at the commercial break and on TikTokCBpodcast. Want it to be your turn to talk? Call us and spill the tea at 626-ASKTCB-3 and you may hear your voice on the show. You can also text us your tea at 8535-TCB8383. And boy, do we love to hear it. Anyway, take a listen to our sponsors and let's get back to the show.

[A]

Okay? Back with our good friend Tina here in the tcb, the very cold TCB studio. It's freezing, man. We don't usually get weather like this.

[B]

No, not for this long.

[A]

And, yeah, maybe like once every five years, we'll get like a week of negative temperatures and negative. I mean, under the, the, under the degrees of 32 or Celsius here, it's been like the wind chill's been like minus four, which is amazing.

[B]

It's an advisory till midnight tonight.

[A]

Jesus.

[B]

And then tomorrow is like the coldest winter day we've had in two years. It's crazy.

[A]

I have this function on my car where I can start it twice in an hour, but you can only start it for 15 minutes at a time.

[B]

Right.

[A]

I guess it's a safety feature on the car. Right. So you start it from your app, and then whatever temperature you had it set at before, it'll set that turn. Like any. Like, anytime you turn on the car, it just goes right back to whatever it was earlier this week when it was minus four. The wind chill was minus four. It tells you the temperature inside of the car. And the temperature inside of the car said invalid. And what I, What I realized is, is that anything under the. My under zero is invalid.

[B]

I agree. Car.

[A]

Yeah, I'm with your car. So I started it twice to get. Get it warm. So when I put the kids in the car to take them to school, at least it was, you know, at least stepping into ice temperatures.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I'm telling you what, I started that car for almost a half hour. It sat there idling. It only got up to 42 degrees. Like, wow, that's. That's pretty cold. And your engine takes almost an hour to get heated up. Speaking of Taco Bell, I wanted to say. I wanted to share with you. Something that I read and I'm wondering what your thoughts are. And I've been. There's been a debate around the house here. Here lately about the proper way to wipe. And we're not talking about the children, we're talking about the adults. Now let me explain my position on this and then I want to hear yours. Do you use wet wipes?

[B]

Sometimes.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

But they're bad for the pipes. It's rough for me.

[A]

Okay. All right. It's bad for the pipes if you have a one. If you have certain types of, you know, like you've got one of those tanks outside, the septic tank outside. But you can now buy wipes that are completely biodegradable. Yeah. You just throw them in the trash like some cultures do. Like. Like Venezuelans do. Right. Because they don't. I guess their sewer doesn't. Isn't made to handle toilet paper, so you just throw it in the trash. And sometimes when you go to certain restaurants or you go to certain places or you visit certain countries that don't throw pet toilet paper inside of the trash can. Or alternately, they'll say, do not throw the toilet paper in the toilet. Put it in the trash can. Which I always thought was very gross. But that's because I grew up with indoor plumbing.

[B]

Right.

[A]

Maybe that's just a luxury I have as growing up in the United States of America. America. But I have been using wet wipes for about as long as wet wipes have been a thing. So let's call it a decade and a half, 15 years. And I use the wet wipes that are biodegradable. And my opinion on this is you go wet wipe to toilet paper, wet to dry. Right. But now there's been some argument around here from some family members that you go dry to wet. And I'm like, how does that even make sense?

[B]

Sometimes I will agree with you. Dry, then wet, wet to clean, and then another pass with a dry.

[A]

Okay. I go wet to get nice and clean. Y. Then. Then dry to get dry. And to just make sure everything's been.

[B]

Living is a little different than ours.

[A]

True.

[B]

Okay, I got that we've got substances that maybe you don't have to deal with.

[A]

Correct.

[B]

So I. I see where there have been it. Yeah. Because eventually you. The. The wet. It's. It's alcohol based anyway. So it's going to dry a little bit.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah.

[B]

You don't necessarily have to follow it.

[A]

Follow it with a dry.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Well, now I'm reading from this scientific.

[B]

Study because look you don't dry your babies after you wet wipe them.

[A]

No, but they're, you're putting on a diaper that dries them off. Do you see what I'm saying? So the diaper is absorbent, so you're drying them off. No, but I don't. You're right. But you know, babies are sensitive and you got to be careful about, you know, how hard you wipe and what you wipe with and rashes and all that, that stuff. And now I've got female, you know, I've got 35 children around here, so half of them are female, I think, or something like along those lines.

[B]

There's a lot of them.

[A]

Yeah, there's a lot of, a lot of women. There's a lot of girls. There's a lot of female, female energy around here. But then I do understand, you have to be careful. You have to wipe a certain direction. You can't do this, you can't do that. I got it. Like I'm, I'm, I'm an old pro now at that. But now I'm reading that a scientific study that's been done over the course of a number of years is saying that you shouldn't wipe at all. And that over wipes, getting, trying to get rid of all bacteria and remnants is not good because your body was built to take that bacteria and that bacteria in some way, shape or form is helping. And I can't even think of anything more disgusting than leaving on your asshole. So it can help protect you from something.

[B]

Never gonna happen. But there is something to be said about the over cleaning because there is ph, right, Ph balance and, and we, we require it, our bodies require it. Especially women. Very sensitive of. Not to get too toilet talky. But yeah, you've got to make sure you maintain a proper, healthy pH. But cleanliness should not be avoided. The sake of the pH.

[A]

Yeah, well, I've learned a few things about having girl children, which is you don't want to over soap the area, right? Because that's not good. That's just going to lead to infection and, and, or rashes and, or whatever.

[B]

Bvv and all kinds of crazy fun stuff.

[A]

Not something I've ever had to worry about until I, I had daughters that were, you know, children that were daughters. And then you gotta, you gotta get your hands dirty. There's just no way, no two ways about it. But I've always been like, okay, let's clean that anus really good, because that anus is just a problem.

[B]

Fecal matter is.

[A]

Yeah, the fecal matter is no good. That's. I've always. But it's been drilled into my head since I was a little kid. Yeah, fecal matter is no good. Close the toilet top before you flush it. No, no poo poo. You don't touch that. Pee pee. Okay, people. Some people wash themselves in a forgotten. God's sakes. We did that episode.

[B]

Have a drink.

[A]

We did.

[B]

This one's on the house.

[A]

But doctors are saying that the. That the best way to clean yourself is a bidet. A one pass bidet. Just one pass bidet. And then maybe a little pat to dry off after the bidet and then leave the rest. Just leave it there. This one doctor was saying that he sees lots of injuries every year. Injuries, tears, rips, sicknesses, you know, infections, diseases, stuff like that come from people who are trying to over cleanse themselves in that back area back there. And I am just mortified at the thought that I would. You would want to leave some remnant back there to protect you from what? I'm not sure.

[B]

Bidet's got to be a front, and a back can't just be the back because the back's bad for women because it'll just blow it all forward. You don't want that.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But I say get a bidet. And I totally agree with this doctor.

[A]

Do you have a bidet?

[B]

Yes.

[A]

You do?

[B]

Yes.

[A]

For a very long time you've had a bidet. Like one of those. Like an actual bidet or one that you attach to the toilet.

[B]

Not a separate. Separate. But I. You know, my family was in Greece when I was growing up and they had. That was in. That was in their apartment. It was everywhere.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

All the bathrooms had two bowls.

[A]

I found one of my children playing in a bidet when we were in Spain this year. And I was like, you gotta get the. Out of the debate. Bidet, please.

[B]

Yeah. Every kid's taking a shot to the.

[A]

Face with a bidet.

[B]

You just want to see. And then you're like, oh, yeah, there it is.

[A]

Yeah, it comes right up to you. I have actually, I've used the bidet only once, once, maybe twice, when I was traveling in France with Astrid. I used the bidet just to say I did it just to give it a try. It's a little disconcerting at first, but I do understand that.

[B]

Oh, it's. You feel very fresh.

[A]

You do.

[B]

And when I was in Greece, I was a kid. This was a long, many, many years ago. But they. And everyone just had a towel on the wall.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So that was what you patted dry. They didn't have toilet paper. That would ruin the systems in Athens or whatever. So yeah, you just had your butts out. Towel.

[A]

Did you have your own butt towel?

[B]

Yeah, everybody had their own.

[A]

Thank God.

[B]

And you're clean.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Hypothetically, when you use it and say you're just patting dry. So at the end of the day that all went in the wash, everybody's butt towel came back out the next day.

[A]

Very interesting. This is why the some people, this is why some European countries really have it. Correct. Because not only do they have the bidet, they've had it for a while. They've had it for a long time.

[B]

Well, they don't do toilet paper.

[A]

No, not, not in most places. Yeah. I mean if you go to the hotels. Of course they do. Because they have a lot of Americans that are traveling, traveling through their Western, Western toilet. It's for us, it's not for them. But then they also have the towel drying rack, the heated towel rack.

[B]

Amazing.

[A]

And I always thought, oh, that's a cool idea for your towel. Until somebody also told me something very similar. No, those are for hand and butt towels. Is that so the bacteria doesn't grow on that moisture? Yeah, it kills the bacteria. That steam or the hot, hot, hot heat will kill the bacteria. So when you go get this bidet, did you install it yourself?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You did?

[B]

Easily. Easy.

[A]

How much, how much those things cost?

[B]

20 to. I mean you can spend as little as 20 or upwards of 100. It just depends what you want. They can light up. They have ones now that you can turn on from your bed. It'll heat this seat up for you.

[A]

No way.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Is it a whole seat? You put like a whole seat in there? Yep. Oh, okay.

[B]

There's some that are that fancy.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And does it heat up the water so you're not putting cold water in your ass?

[B]

Yes. So you have a hot and cold in your water and you. Because you have, they have some with knobs on both sides.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And then it'll heat the seat. And I have to say something about that heated seat in the winter time, man, it's fantastic. Cuz we have to sit no matter what we're doing in there and it'll turn on a little light for you. I'm on, I just woke up. I'm on my way.

[A]

I, I need one of these. Does it have a phone holder? Could it have a phone holder that also scrolls her Instagram?

[B]

I'll take a look today when I make it back Home and I'll send you a link.

[A]

Cuz I'm doing a conference every morning in there with my kids now. They will not leave me alone.

[B]

I fully advocate. I mean, for 15, $20, everybody should have one.

[A]

Okay, I'm going to look into this because now that I've read about it, I'm like, well, I don't want my ass to go south as I get into, you know, it's true. If I want to be 73 partying and with my Taco Bell app, I don't want to.

[B]

And a nice note about the bud towel. You don't get any lint.

[A]

Oh, yeah, because it's just one of those.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

It's one of those flat towels.

[B]

Yeah, you just got to.

[A]

Yeah, listen, I'm open to new ideas.

[B]

You just throw it in a basket if you don't want to reuse it.

[A]

I'm sick of toilet paper. I've been sick of toilet paper for a long time. Works.

[B]

It's not good for us as women too. It's. Yeah, it's linty.

[A]

Yeah, it's.

[B]

Yeah. Oh, yeah.

[A]

Yeah. I didn't even think about that. It's linty. It gets caught in cubic hair and stuff like that.

[B]

Why? Your Venezuelan family says dry first, then wet.

[A]

That's what they were so mortified that I went. Wet, then dry that dirty toilet paper.

[B]

Lint out of your precious, precious parts.

[A]

Well, and also what they were concerned about is that the wet that you would be if you wiped yourself, then you would be touching the poop because it's wet and then the poop goes through there. But I said you double up. That's what you do. Just like toilet paper. You don't use like one single piece of toilet paper. You grew up in one of those weird households where your dad was counting the toilet paper. You don't do that. You get a couple pieces, you fold it up, you make sure you got a good solid.

[B]

Protection level is another argument for the handcloth too, because it's not coming through that Terry, you know what I mean?

[A]

Very interesting.

[B]

Stay cleaner. Yeah, I think it's just more cleanly all around.

[A]

I am going to consider this for the family in 2024. Yes. Someone ever decides to pay us. I'm thinking about thinking about going. You want to send them a day? If there's any sponsors out, like bidet sponsors out there that want to send me one, I'd be happy to read a commercial for you if I can try out your $40 bidet. Yeah, I'd Love to get one of those toto toilets.

[B]

Also. Anyone want to send us a few bags of bar mops?

[A]

Yeah, they make great.

[B]

But towels.

[A]

Oh, my God. Worst job I ever had was that goddamn McDonald's over there. You know what I'm talking about? That damn McDonald's. I had to clean up the morning shits every time. And animals. People are like animals.

[B]

Coffee McMuffins.

[A]

Yeah, coffee and McMuffins. And that time, cigarettes. People were smoking in their little metal trays, the little metal ashtrays. They take them into the bathroom, put them on the toilet paper holder and smoke cigarettes. Read the paper.

[B]

One of our restaurants had ashtrays in the bathroom stalls.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Well, there was. There's a restaurant that I've been going to for a long, long time. Sushi restaurant. Love it. Been there forever. They just got rid of the ashtrays inside of the bathrooms. The. The ones that were attached to the wall so you could be like at the ur.

[B]

Do you have to be that? You can't. You have to have a cigarette while you're going to the bathroom.

[A]

Well, I can understand this because if you are with. Let's say you're on a date and you don't want to necessarily smoke in front of that date right away, which wasn't a thing until maybe the early 90s last year. Yeah, until last year. That's. That's right. No one gave a. If you smoke cigarettes until all of a sudden they're being heard yesterday. Yeah. Being herded in like cats. I didn't tell you about the time I went to the. To the Paris airport. It's Paris. Everybody.

[B]

Everybody smokes.

[A]

Yeah, everybody smokes. It's all over the place. Yeah. And the Charles de Gaulle airport, which was one of my favorite layover airports, because you could go and you could smoke in multiple different places in the airport. It wasn't everywhere, but it was certain places. Now they put you in little like Star Trek.

[B]

It's been in them in the middle.

[A]

In a circular thing. All glasses. Glass. It's got this big fan on the bottom and a suction on top. So it just sucks all the smoke you're eating.

[B]

And everyone's tapping on the glass like you're some sort of monkey in a cage.

[A]

I know people are just looking at you and you're like, it's so disturbing. It's so disturbing. Listen, I don't want secondhand smoke around my children either. I really don't. That's why I quit smoking a long time ago. I didn't want to have children with cigarette, you know, cigarette smoke. And just for my general health, it's probably a good thing that I don't smoke cigarettes. But I fight for the rights of my fellow cigarette smokers because I don't think you should also be herded in anywhere like cat.

[B]

No, it's awful.

[A]

Give you in a room with a door in the Atlanta airport. You used to have multiple smoking rooms.

[B]

No more.

[A]

Even though it was terrible and it was so smoky in there and it was gross and there were weird people in there, it felt like home. If you were a smoker and you.

[B]

Went in there, you had a spot to sit.

[A]

Yes, you had a spot to sit. You had ashtrays and ventilation, something sometimes. But now they've gotten rid of it completely. There is not one place in that damn airport where you can smoke barely even outside. You can smoke outside. You have to go all the way, right? You got to go into the plane exhaust in order to get a cigarette on your hands. I do feel for the smokers now. I really do.

[B]

We covered it all.

[A]

Fast food, smoking, fast food, smoking, your mom, your mother in law, rags, food frags. It's been an interesting episode. When you come in. Sex, grandpa.

[B]

Damn it.

[A]

Smokey. Cocaine, inhaling grandmother, Gypsy grandmothers.

[B]

That was a good day.

[A]

Yeah. Hey, we did it. Smokey Robinson. Speaking of smokes, Smokey Robinson.

[B]

That's a way to tie it all together.

[A]

I always like to tie it together at the end. Well, my friend, good luck on your adventures.

[B]

Thank you so much.

[A]

You must come in when you have a chance, as often as possible when you visit. I'm sure you will. And you're always welcome to call us up. We'll check in on you periodically. You've been a big part of the commercial break. You've been a big part of the commercial break success and we really appreciate it.

[B]

Thank you.

[A]

From me to you. I love you.

[B]

I love you.

[A]

All right, so here's how it goes. You go to tcbpodcast.com, find out more information about the show, all the audio, all the video, the entire library right there. One location. TCBpodcast.com if you want your free piggy fronting sticker, I should actually call it stamp your piggy fronting postage stamp. It's so small. So small. It's crazy. Go to the website, hit the contact us button, drop down menu says I want my free sticker. Well, you give us your physical address and then assert will send it off to you. If you'd like us to sign something we'll be happy to do it, but don't ask. Guys, there's, like, some people that are asking for, like, 13 different stickers. Stickers so that every one of them has something. I'm gonna save one. I'm gonna put one on my car, one for my girlfriend, one for my mother. Like, there's a limit, and I don't know what that limit is. I'm just using good common sense. But if you could please not ask for 13 different stickers. And they're asking for different ones too. Like, can I get the old one? Can I get the new one? We accommodate when we can. We certainly will. But if everybody asks for it and all the old stickers, they're old stickers for a reason. They're gone. Yeah. So anyway, you can have your sticker go. Drop down menu. Give us your address. 626. Ask TCB, the number three. That's 1626. Ask TCB the number three question. Comments, concerns, content, ideas. Ask Brian's mom. Ask TCB. We're taking it all via text message or voicemail, but be mindful, you may be on the show if you give it. Leave us a voicemail. Also at the commercial break on Instagram TCB podcast on Tik Tok and YouTube.com the commercial break. All right, we're going back to the goodbye because too many people have complained. Yes. Okay. I love you.

[B]

I love you.

[A]

Best to you.

[B]

Best to you.

[A]

And best you out there in the podcast universe. You want to say get one more time.

[B]

One more time.

[A]

All right, that's all you get. Now get. Sam.