Fire Sauce Roid Rage

Summary

The Commercial Break — “Fire Sauce Roid Rage” (June 27, 2024)

Hosts: Bryan Green & Krissy Hoadley
Episode Theme:
A riotous, meandering ride through health struggles (Celine Dion and stiff person syndrome), Instagram follower pleas, offbeat pop culture recommendations, nostalgia for smoky pasts, the wonders and horrors of modern food (Taco Bell, trad wives, gross viral cooking), and the challenges of parenting and pet meds. As always, the show is an irreverent blend of improv, relatable rants, and absurd observations.

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Main Topics & Highlights

1. Upcoming Live Shows & Celebrity Speculation ([00:54]–[02:16])

• TCB announces Florida tour dates:
  • Correction on show dates (coming in September, not October).
  • Audience engagement around attending shows.
• Listener suggestions for guests:
  • Sean Morris recommends Christina Applegate.
  • The hosts joke about their chances of landing “A-list” celebrities.
  • Bryan:

    "I think there's a certain type of celebrity guest that just may not be for The Commercial Break. And I think Christina Applegate… a stop at TCB is not on her list." ([02:03])

• Stiff Person Syndrome & Celine Dion Discussion:
  • Recent Hulu documentary on Celine Dion’s rare illness.
  • Details about the condition, its effects (broken ribs due to muscle spasms), and the devastating toll on her singing.
  • Bryan’s empathy:

    "The one thing that you get that you’re on this earth to do is the one thing that you can’t do… I don’t see how she gets back on stage like that." ([05:52])

• Death and Humor:
  • Light-hearted discussion on preferred ways to go—Bryan suggests “shooting Chrissy out of a cannon.”
  • Both hosts express a desire to "go out quick,” not slowly.

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2. Pop Culture Musings & Current Events ([06:22]–[07:52])

• US Election Debate:
  • Jokes about Biden and Trump's televised debate, likening it to watching “grandpa bang into the walls yammering about politics.”
  • Both hosts seem unconvinced about the quality or importance of the debate.
  • Bryan:

    "It's Thanksgiving. On TV. It's two old senile white guys arguing with each other." ([07:04])

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3. The Instagram Follower Plea—Meta Comedy ([07:52]–[13:23])

• TCB’s “Miserable” Social Media Presence:

  • Openly admits low Instagram numbers despite high listenership.
  • Pokes fun at discomfort with self-promotion:

    "We don't like to ask people to do stuff… because we're just wondering if there's any listeners at all." ([07:52])

  • The goal: 10,000 followers by year’s end.
  • Bryan’s tongue-in-cheek urgency:

    "If you're driving, pull over immediately… if you're in surgery, tell them to hold on one second while you follow us on Instagram." ([11:03])

• Instagram Algorithm & Bizarre Viral Accounts:

  • Bryan recounts being served wild content: lone madmen, hoarders, conspiracy theorists (“birds aren’t real” guy), and a poetic superfan of Ariana Grande who ends every poem with a fart ([15:20]–[16:38]).
  • Discussion on how “there’s something for everyone,” and musing if TCB can find their weird internet niche.

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4. What Are You Watching? — TV/Docu-Picks ([18:27]–[29:55])

• TV Show Roundtable:

  • Chrissy watches true crime, romance, and is in the middle of “six shows” ([19:22]).
  • Recent doc of interest: one about broke athletes and bad investments.

• Bryan’s Pick #1: "Amazon 5000: Expedition From Hell" ([21:43]–[25:47])

  • Details expedition by Mickey Grossman across the Amazon—a complete disaster, chronicled via 700 hours of footage.
  • He’s spellbound by its “fascinating, engrossing” disaster energy and the twist ending.

• Bryan’s Pick #2: Miley Cyrus on Letterman ([26:07]–[29:55])

  • Hosts agree on Miley’s talents and resilience.
  • Praise for Letterman’s “sneaky-probing” interview style and relaxed, modern approach.
  • Miley’s rendition of Talking Heads’ “Psycho Killer” is polarizing for Bryan, who wanted a more respectful cover:

    "I think you have to treat Stop Making Sense like a piece of orchestral music, like Beethoven's ninth. You don't put your own words into Beethoven's Ninth." ([29:05])

  • A tangent on Miley’s “gravelly, scientifically sexy” voice—and regretting quitting smoking!

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5. Fast Food, Roid Rage, and The State of Weed ([36:02]–[41:47])

• Steroids Gone Wrong:

  • Bryan takes steroids for his back—suffers severe “roid rage,” depression, and insatiable hunger ([36:02]).
  • This led to a solo Taco Bell binge—five hard-shell supreme tacos—which triggers nostalgia and a critical take on Taco Bell fire sauce’s new flavor ([37:45]).

• High as a Kite:

  • Encounter with “the most stoned person ever” at Taco Bell:

    "He is bleeding out of his eyeballs, literally bloodshot… And he smells so dank. He just smells dank, like he had dipped himself." ([41:01])

  • Riffs on pot culture in Atlanta, public spaces reeking of weed, and overpowered modern marijuana vs. “chill” Jamaican weed.

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6. Eating Trends—From Gross to Trad Wives ([43:22]–[48:37])

• Disgusting Eating Habits ([43:22]–[45:03]):

  • Bryan rants about viral videos showing grotesque ways of eating (e.g., ripped bodybuilders sucking beef from freezer bags, “trad wives” making horrifying home meals).
  • Creates a new TCB “treaty”:

    "Don't eat disgustingly. Please don't eat disgustingly. It's making me sick to my stomach." ([45:01])

• “Trad Wife” & Cooking Satire:

  • Explains “trad wife” trend (women “taking their place” in kitchens, sometimes to satirical extremes).
  • Recaps seeing revoltingly processed dishes—like fried, cheese-covered, microwaved Salisbury steak topped with mustard.

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7. Grocery Bills, Parenting, and Animal Tactics ([48:53]–[56:03])

• Grocery Store Sticker Shock:

  • Both hosts lament soaring prices and “shrinkflation.”
  • Chrissy:

    "It seems like I spend a crazy amount every couple weeks."
    Bryan:
    "We must visit the grocery store every two or three days… thousands of dollars on groceries." ([49:07])

• Tricks to Get Kids to Eat Real Food:

  • All classic “hide healthy food” schemes are foiled by savvy kids.
  • Parenting frustration at wasted lunchbox proteins and a daughter's refusal to eat anything but sugar.

• Dog Medication Antics:

  • Bryan’s ongoing war with his dog Blue, a magician at spitting out hidden Prozac pills, rivaling any child’s food-detecting skills.

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8. Final Recs, Love, and Goodbye ([56:03]–end)

• Show Recap:
  • Reminds audience to watch “Expedition From Hell,” Miley on Letterman, Chrissy’s “Dark Matter,” and (if you must) “Bridgerton.”
  • Jokes about not being into “period pieces,” but Krissy’s into “Game of Thrones: House of the Dragon.”
• Florida show reminder & social plugs:
  • September 25 & 26: Orlando, then Tampa.
  • Instagram @thecommercialbreak; text/call at 212-4333-TCB.
  • Reiterated goal: 10,000 Instagram followers; merch, giveaways if they get there.
• Closing banter:
  • “I love you,” “Best to you!”
  • Classic TCB sign-off in warm, goofy style.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Podcast Celebrity Aspirations:
  Bryan (01:55):

  “Yeah, I'd love to have Christina Applegate… she's just not going to show up on The Commercial Break.”

• On Serious Illness:
  Bryan (03:17):

  “It broke her ribs. Your own body breaking ribs? ... because you go into almost a state of rigam mortis...”

• On Social Media Failings:
  Bryan (09:49):

  “It’s really kind of paltry and pathetic… for a couple years, we did a miserable job of paying attention to social media...”

• On Instagram’s Madness:
  Bryan (14:58):

  “I have the most amazing Instagram algorithm ever... Grandmas, yoga girls, and a conspiracy bird guy.”

• On Parenting:
  Bryan (50:55):

  “No, leave the protein. Eat the fruit, the yogurt, the cookie. That’s what they eat… One of my kids right now hasn't had a bite of real food in, like, 22 days.”

• On Modern Weed:
  Bryan (35:25):

  “There is now, like, 30% THC, man. That’s why I can’t do it anymore…”

• On Gross Internet Cooking:
  Bryan (47:43):

  “Fried Salisbury steak that’s already cooked with cheese and mustard. Come on, that's disgusting. Who wants that?”

• On Doggy Drug Tactics:
  Bryan (54:35):

  "I take that bread and I smush it up like a pill pocket… throw a fatty, nasty Publix treat right after it… works almost like a charm. Except for last night, when we were fighting for hours…”

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• [02:16] – Celine Dion’s stiff person syndrome discussion and empathy
• [06:22] – Biden vs. Trump debate commentary
• [09:39] – Instagram self-deprecation/growth plea (“miserable Instagram following”)
• [15:20] – Wild Instagram algorithm stories
• [21:43] – Rec of “Amazon 5000/Expedition from Hell” docuseries
• [26:07] – Miley Cyrus on Letterman (David Letterman interview breakdown)
• [36:02] – Steroid-induced “roid rage” and Taco Bell binge
• [41:01] – Encounter with ultra-stoned Taco Bell customer (“smells dank, like he had dipped himself”)
• [43:22] – Disgusting internet eating/“trad wife” cookery
• [48:53] – Grocery bill inflation and parenting woes
• [54:35] – Dog (Blue) medication saga

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Takeaways

• TCB remains true to its improv-chaos identity: personal anecdotes slip into pop culture, dark comedy, and listener inside jokes.
• The episode skewers both modern online trends and nostalgic habits, always with a self-aware, absurdist sensibility.
• The hosts balance laughs with tangents that—at their best—offer genuine windows into their lives.
• If you enjoy comedy podcasts that feel like hanging out with your funniest, weirdest friends, “Fire Sauce Roid Rage” delivers.

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Contact & Follow:

• Instagram: @thecommercialbreak
• Text/Voicemail: 212-4333-TCB
• Website: tcbpodcast.com
• YouTube: youtube.com/thecommercialbreak

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End of Summary

Transcript

[A]

I thought it was a nickname because you drive a Subaru.

[B]

I drive a Subaru because I'm gay. Facts. Back it up, back it up. 2, 2, 3. Gonna make a. On this episode of the commercial break. I'm up there, I'm eating by myself. There's no one in the restaurant whatsoever. Right.

[A]

Picture you eating a Taco Bell.

[B]

I am literally watching by myself. You know, I've got the news on my phone and I'm eating and I'm just like in full on roid rage mentality. I'm like, I'm gonna kill this person. I'm gonna get that person, call the lawyer on that guy and I'll sue this guy. The next episode of the commercial break starts now. Yeah, guys and kittens, welcome back to the commercial break. I'm Brian Green. This is my dear friend and the co host of this show, Chris and Joy Hodly. Best to you, Chris.

[A]

Best to you, Brian.

[B]

Best you out there in the podcast universe. How the hell are you? Thanks for joining us, we certainly appreciate it. Quick correction on the show, which happens so often, I can't even, I don't even forget about it. It's not a correction. I'm just. Well, we got to stop calling it a. Whatever. We're going to be in Florida. Not in October, in September. As Christina pointed out to me, the last episode, I said it was October 25th and 26th. It's not. It's September 25th and 26th. Orlando and Tampa, you know the deal. I'll say it ad nauseam until the day that we get there. So just get used to it. That's a Wednesday and a Thursday night. Orlando first. Tampa. I'll tell you about ticket details soon. Let us know if you're going to come. A lot of people, a lot of people sharing that they're going to be there.

[A]

I love this.

[B]

Yeah. Including our boy Sean Morris and a couple of others. Sean Morris, I like Sean Morris. That guy's always sending me good ideas about what to talk about. He says we should have Christina Applegate as a guest on the show. Sure, Sean, Any day now Christina Applegate is going to show up on the commercial break. I'd love to have Christina Applegate.

[A]

I love her too.

[B]

Yeah, she's just not going to show up on the commercial break.

[A]

Yeah, I don't think so far it's far reaching requests.

[B]

Yeah, I think, you know, listen, we have a lot of great guests, but I think there's a, there's a certain type of celebrity guest that just may not be for the commercial break. And I think Christina Applegate is dealing with a whole lot of. In her life right now. And I don't think a stop at TCB is on her list.

[A]

I don't think so either. But it's a nice thought.

[B]

It's a nice thought. It's a nice thought. Thank you very. Speaking of having challenging health conditions, you know, there's a new documentary out, I think yesterday, I believe on Hulu amps, one of those on Celine Dion and her stiff person syndrome.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

And so I was watching some clips, I got like a little clip package of the show of this, this documentary. And in one scene she's like, she has this stiff person syndrome. And I forget the actual term for it, but what a terrible affliction. I mean, terrible. It broke her ribs. It broke ribs. Your own body breaking ribs? Yes, because you go into like almost a state of rigam mortise where your, your body, I don't know, they can't explain it on the documentary. Watch the documentary. Know that the. All your muscles tightened so. And you become so stiff, including your throat, everything tightens up and if you have one, a really bad spasm, they can put so much pressure on your body, it can break bones. And the ribs are some of the weakest bones in the body. So they, they have been broken by her stiff person syndrome.

[A]

God.

[B]

Terrible, terrible. And listen, like Celine, don't like Celine. You know, I, I get it. You know, she is one of the best singers that has ever lived. It's got to be true. And, and there's two songs of hers that I just, every time I hear it, I'm like, holy, that girl's got such a voice. I mean, what a, what a gift. And now the throat is closing up and so she's having a really hard time singing some of those notes. And what brings on these episodes is stress, strain and overstimulation. So in the documentary, this part I read, I didn't see in the documentary, she goes in for a singing session. She's trying to put out a new album, which is taking a lot of time. And it's very stressful on her because she has to deal with this syndrome. Also she's not able to hit the high notes like she used to. And it's just crushing.

[A]

It's got to be too like mind over matter.

[B]

Mind.

[A]

Yeah. Cuz then you, you're expecting it. You're afraid it might happen and you're expecting it to happen.

[B]

And so she goes for a day of in the studio work and Then afterwards, she has an episode. This episode is caught on camera. And I'm telling you what, Chrissy, it is seriously disturbing. Seriously disturbing to watch. I did catch the clip. I think TMZ might have a clip. If you want to go Google, you can find it somewhere. But it is like, please don't let me go that way.

[A]

I know.

[B]

Just let me like, I don't know, fall asleep or something. Heart attack at the grocery store, you know, just like, don't know, just bond gone.

[A]

It's just.

[B]

Yeah, I don't want one of those slow demise kind of things. Yeah, wouldn't you go to like, Switzerland and just put yourself to sleep? But she's Celine Dion and she wants to keep singing. She wants, you know, her fans and whatever.

[A]

Well, that's what I said. I think I wanted to, like, rent a yacht and then you guys can just launch me off.

[B]

Oh, like in a cannon. Like.

[A]

Like a chair.

[B]

Oh, a chair. No, we got to do it in grand style, Chrissy.

[A]

I like the cannon.

[B]

I'm getting a cannon. Like a circus cannon. I'm going to put it on the back of like a Bezos, like, yacht. We're going to spend 10 days in the Mediterranean.

[A]

Everybody's going to party.

[B]

Yeah. We're going to float around. We're going to stop in Mallorca and some of the Greek isles, and then we'll go over to. What's that place? Montenegro. And we'll, we'll.

[A]

Then I'll say goodbye and at the.

[B]

End you'll say goodbye and I'll be like, the next episode of the commercial break starts now. I'll just shoot you into the Adriatic Sea. Just whoop. Miles. I just see you flying miles and miles and miles.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Bye.

[A]

Yes, goodbye.

[B]

Oh, we shouldn't joke.

[A]

No, we are.

[B]

No, but this thing with Celine Dion is no laughing matter. And it really makes me feel. It really does make me feel for her. The one thing that you get that you're on this earth to do is the one thing that's now causing, not causing, but the one thing that you can't do. And then the one thing that if you try to do then can cause so much strain and strife. I don't see how she gets back on stage like that. Like, you just can't have an episode like that on stage. And then they, like, put something in her nose to help her relax. Like, it's got to be some kind of really strong muscle relaxer, painkiller, something like that. Poor girl.

[A]

I know.

[B]

Poor girl. I know. Anyway, speaking of stiff people. Biden and Trump debate tonight. Poor biden.

[A]

I know.

[B]

It's just so bad. It's so bad. It's so bad. So, anyway, if you're looking forward to that. Yeah, good on you. I have a lot of friends that are texting me, like, oh, dude, let's go get drunk and watch the debate. And I get drunk and watch the debate. I just get drunk and watch my grandpa bang into the walls, yammer about politics. It's just as good. That's what's going to happen.

[A]

Thanksgiving.

[B]

Yeah, just Thanksgiving. That's right. It's Thanksgiving. On tv. It's two old white guys, Two old senile white guys arguing with each other. I'll be interested to see how that, how that mute button works out.

[A]

Yeah, I know.

[B]

Yeah. I wonder if Trump's just going to scream up again. I. Even in this late hour, I still say there is a high level, there's a high possibility that Trump just doesn't show up. Because, you know, I don't know. Anyway, I want to move on from politics, but I'm just sharing. If he shows up, then I will be wrong. But I just have a feeling that for some reason, I have a feeling that he's going to find a way to squirrel.

[A]

Find a reason not to. Yeah.

[B]

I mean, at the end of the day, you know, in his mind, I wonder if he thinks this is really a good idea for him.

[A]

Surprised he agreed to it.

[B]

I'm surprised. Yeah. I'm. I'm surprised the guy. Well, anyway, okay, moving on. So, hey, I want to talk to the audience about something very quickly. And just to let you know, we've now recorded this segment twice, and this is the third time because I have a really hard time. We don't like to ask people to do stuff. It's just not in our nature. We're just. I don't know, it's tough. It's tough. It's tough to ask you the listener for something because we're just wondering if there's any listeners at all. So that at the end of the day, I don't even know who I'm talking to. But, you know, we tended to. I don't know, I tend. I think we tend to fall on the imposter syndrome of the creator spectrum. So it's hard for us to step up and, you know, wield any kind of power. I know. I can't even say it without laughing.

[A]

I know.

[B]

All right, but here's the deal. For so many years, we've been pumping out content Four or five years almost. We've been pumping out content on the RSS feed and we're doing okay for ourselves. It's not a bad gig. We're.

[A]

We're doing a laugh every day.

[B]

To laugh every day. Odyssey has been really good to us. We have great sponsors, we have great listeners. Great listeners. So many of you that we communicate with almost on a daily basis, some of you on that telephone here in the studio. But one of the things that kind of irks us a little bit, and we've been collectively, as a team, we've been asked to talk about this. Our Instagram build up. Yeah, the build up. I am going to be shot out of a cannon in September.

[A]

We were asking one of you to please pull the. Yeah, the cord.

[B]

What I'm trying to say is there's a 10% chance we show up to the Orlando show. Right.

[A]

We can't believe we agreed to do it.

[B]

We can't believe we agreed to do it. 10% chance we show up. We. We really do have a pretty miserable Instagram following as compared to the people, the amount of people that listen to the show. It's just not very impressive. It's not impressive in any way, shape or form. It's much more impressive than it was. I think we had less than a thousand until about a year and a half ago, and then we've gained, you know, thousands more. But it's still. Guys. It's really kind of paltry and pathetic. And so one of the ideas was get on.

[A]

It kind of does make us look bad in comparison to, like, when we have guests, they're like, what? I mean, it's such a big metric now of how many social media followers you have.

[B]

It's one of the. It's the game you have to play.

[A]

Yeah, it is the game you have to play. So we've jumped on this. We're going to play the game.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Because before it was a little bit spotty, how much we were, you know, we put out content on this, on the show, on the podcast, but on Instagram, we weren't really. Didn't have a cohesive strategy, so. Or any strategy. So we're gonna try.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And get more content out there. And we just need you to follow us.

[B]

That's it. Like Chrissy just said it in a nutshell. We did a miserable job for a couple of years of paying attention to social media because we really wanted to focus on the show and because we were too lazy to put anything out there on social media. It just wasn't our thing.

[A]

But now, again, it's like the promotion of yourself.

[B]

Yeah, it was hard to do. It's really hard for us to do. It's just not in our personalities to go around.

[A]

I mean, I, I, Astrid's doing it.

[B]

I can't even tell strangers that I have a podcast, you know, so that's how hard it is for me to share the good news about the podcast or any news about the podcast. So Chrissy's right. We did a miserable job. Astrid's been on it for the last six months. She's done a really great job of pumping out content. Clips of the show, clips of the gu and we're going to start creating content specifically for Instagram. Specifically. We have a goal, 10,000 followers by the end of the year. I know that if a smaller portion of our audience will follow us on Instagram, we can get to that 10,000 relatively easy. So we're asking if you could please take time out of your day to go follow us on Instagram. Now, I don't want you to go out of your way or do anything crazy, but if you're driving, pull over immediately. If you're at the doctor, if you're in surgery, tell them to hold on one second while you follow us on Instagram.

[A]

Or just the next time you get on Instagram because, you know, everybody checks it every day. Yeah, just next time you get on there, go, oh, let me get to the commercial break. Let me pop on at the commercial break.

[B]

The commercial break. It's at the commercial break. If you could do us a favor and follow us. And then if we get to a certain number, I think Astrid shared 10,000. We can start group chats. We can do all kind of cool things and we may be able to do stuff like, you know, early pre sales for tickets to our shows. And I don't know who's gonna want to buy the tickets early, but early, early presale, early access, early access, giveaways, merch drops, all that.

[A]

I do love to do those.

[B]

Yeah, me too.

[A]

We could do games and stuff too.

[B]

We got it. Like all that. A whole Pandora's box opens when you get to a certain number and we're just not there.

[A]

So please follow.

[B]

A whole bunch of new content comes your way, as if you don't have enough. A whole bunch of new content. So do us a favor at the commercial break, could you please, could we please get, you know, 10,000 before the end of the year? That just means, that just means you and all of your finstas need to follow us on Instagram, and we would certainly appreciate it. So I'm going to leave it at that. I'm going to say at the commercial break, please follow us. We certainly would appreciate it. You know, I was telling Astrid this the other day, and on the piggyback of the piggy fronting of this conversation.

[A]

Biggie front.

[B]

Biggie front Egg. Yes. Yes. I can feel someone kicking me in the chucha. That's my sign for your husband was an alcoholic cheating on you. I was. I have an amazing Instagram algorithm going on. Chrissy literally shows me people who have one view on the real. I have the best Instagram algorithm ever.

[A]

It doesn't know what to do with you.

[B]

Christian national. Preach. And I'm not talking about the ones make like satire. I'm talking about actual Christian national. It's like, not satire that I find so funny. From that to Grandma talking to herself, reminding herself to buy eggs at the grocery store on Instagram reels, like, I have the most. With one view. I have the most amazing Instagram algorithm.

[A]

The girls in the yoga love the.

[B]

Girls in the yoga love the crazy. So I'll get, like, a guy who has been trying to not wash his hair for 15 years in a row. You know what I'm saying? He's, like, going for. It's a vibe. He's got a vibe, and he's talking to himself about how the birds aren't real and all this other stuff. He'll go on for half an hour and I'll look, and the guy's got 175 likes on his. On his reel, and then he's got 15,000 followers, and all it is is just him talking about how the birds aren't real. He's obviously not all there, and he's got 15,000 followers. We can do this. I have a feeling we can do this if he can have 15,000 followers.

[A]

We just need to talk about some crazy stuff.

[B]

Oh, we're going to talk about. We do talk about crazy stuff. It's insane.

[A]

That's natural.

[B]

It is natural. The other day, I got served. What was it? Oh, okay. So I wish I could find the real. I tried to go find it. I closed out of it on accident. I wish I could go find it so I could share with you this Instagram reel. Okay, ready?

[A]

I'm ready.

[B]

Guy is in his house, and he is completely disheveled, like, and there is trash all over his house. He's living basically in a trash bag, right? And so he's like, a hoarder.

[A]

Situation.

[B]

Yeah, like a hoarder situation, but way worse than that. I don't even know what's going on. But the way he's panning the camera around himself, you can tell that behind him, it's a bad situation. Wherever he is, it's a bad situation.

[A]

Yikes.

[B]

And he is saying he is reading a poem to Ariana Grande and Chrissy. I have never heard something so funny, so interesting and so heartfelt in my entire life. And it all ends with a huge fart. That's it. The guy, Chrissy. I'm not even kidding. It's like, I. You know, roses are red, violets are blue, everything's wonderful, so are you. And then he's like, good night. And he just closes. I go onto his page. 27,000 followers. 27,000. The entire page is filled with ramblings of a madman in love with Ariana Grande. And there's a lot of.

[A]

There's a. There's something for everyone.

[B]

There is something for everyone, I like to say. So is there one for us? Can we have one? Could we have one? So anyway, I thought to myself, why not do a collab with this guy? Yeah, let's hook up with the dude. We'll do a little, you know, they do the Instagram collabs. Yeah, let's do a collab. I can fart like anybody else.

[A]

The screen share thing.

[B]

Yes. What I really wanted to do was send him a picture of you and be like, your new love.

[A]

Please don't.

[B]

Your new love.

[A]

Oh, no.

[B]

Oh, yeah. We're waiting for Chrissy's first stalker to appear. There was someone on the. On the text messages for a while who was really, like, quite smitten with you, but they. They went away.

[A]

They went away.

[B]

And then there was. And now there's someone that's quite smitten with Christina.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

In her sultry voice during the transitions. So let's hear that sultry voice and then we'll be back.

[A]

That was a good transition.

[B]

Like that.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

It's true, though. There is someone who's quite smitten with her voice.

[A]

Of course.

[B]

Let's take a break, and then we'll be back. What?

[C]

Oh, hi, it's Christina again, here to remind you to go to tcbpodcast.com for all things audio, video and TC video. Give us a follow on Instagram at the commercial break and on TikTokcbpodcast. And guess what? We have a new phone number. I know what you're thinking, but I promise this is the last TCB phone number you will ever have to remember. So call us and leave us a voicemail or text us at 212-4333, TCB. Once more for the people in the back. That's 212-4333, TCB. Oh, and check out our YouTube channel at YouTube.com thecommercialbreak. That's all for now. Let's listen to our sponsors and get back to the show.

[B]

What you watching these days?

[A]

What am I watching?

[B]

What are you watching? What do you got on the tv? What do you got on the boob tube?

[A]

I'm watching. Well, dark matter on.

[B]

You keep on talking. Yeah.

[A]

Are we back?

[B]

Yeah, we're back. Yeah, we're here. Until I go cold into it. I thought I'd get out of my awkward transition phase and just start talking. Okay, ready? I'll start again. And we're back. There we go. Much better. Now I sound professional.

[A]

What you watching?

[B]

What are you watching?

[A]

I watch all kinds of stuff.

[B]

Yeah?

[A]

Yeah. I mean, I'm always looking around for different things. Jeff will come in. I mean, I'm watching, you know, true crime stuff. I'm watching romance stuff. Bridgerton.

[B]

Oh, my God. That. Bridgerton.

[A]

Bridgerton was one that. That. I've gotten into Hulu. What was on Hulu? I don't. There's just so much.

[B]

There is so much.

[A]

I think I'm watching. Like we were saying earlier, I think I'm watching six things.

[B]

I am. I'm watching six shows at the same time.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And depending on what mood I'm in, I'll just flip into that show and then tune back to that show. I have a hard time keeping up, actually. I'm like, where were we in this?

[A]

I know. I watched this one that was on. I think it was on Netflix, about broke athletes. Oh, that, like, you know, they become big stars, they spend all their money, they buy restaurants.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

And all the bad investments that they've done.

[B]

Yeah. There's a lot of. I met a guy who was a performer, professional football player, and he was trying to help athletes, like young athletes, people who are like, first year and professional. Whatever, baseball, you know, football, soccer, whatever it was. And he was trying to, like, he would go around educating them, NFL teams, pro sports teams would pay him to go and to educate these young men and women.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

On what it takes to be financially responsible and how everybody and their mother and your mother will be asking for something. Yes. And how you can't save the village if you don't have any resources to save the village. You have to save something for yourself. You got to make sure you take care of yourself first. And he always likened it too. You know, when they. They say that oxygen is going to deploy from the.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Airline. You have to put the mask on.

[A]

Yourself first or you can help somebody.

[B]

Else before you help somebody else.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And I always thought that was a wise idea. I'd be interested in that show. Find that you can find that title for me. Let me know. Okay, stop what you're doing. Stop what you're watching. Everybody put it down. And I'm going to give you two recommendations right now of things to watch that I think were fascinating. Number one is the craziest. It's called the Amazon 5000. The lost tapes of the craziest expedition ever. Oh, there is a gentleman, a former Mossad agent or Israeli guard guy, older, in his late 60s, mid-60s, late 60s, who decided he got. No, he got like a little spot of melanoma on his nose. And after he went through that struggle, he. He's like this kind of guy who goes out there and does all these adventure rac and all that other stuff. He decided that he was going to put together an expedition or an adventure race, so to speak, where he would cross the entirety of South America. He would go through the Amazon jungle from one coast to the next coast.

[A]

Like from the top to bottom or.

[B]

East side, west to east. Right. From the Pacific to the Atlantic. And he would try and do it in a year, and he would bring people along. And this would all be for cancer research.

[A]

I like it.

[B]

Okay. Sounds like a great idea. Right? Only no one's ever done it. There's a reason why no one's ever done it is because the Amazon jungle is not the place where you want to get lost. No. Fuck, no.

[A]

No.

[B]

I can imagine nothing about this sounds interesting. Let me share with you a little Brian insight. People say when you go out of the country, you know, oh, I don't like the touristy spot. Spots. Well, I don't like the touristy spots either. Mainly because of the tourists.

[A]

Yes, exactly.

[B]

But there's a reason why they're touristy spots is because they probably are interesting in some way, shape or form. That's why everybody wants to go there. When I go on vacation, the most adventure I want to have is a boscolo massage. That's as far as I want to go.

[A]

You're like, Jeff.

[B]

I am so like Jeff. I want to go on the beach. I want to be pampered.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

It's one of the it's the few days a year that I can just hopefully relax and get someone to bring me a cold drink. I do not want to go on a 10 day expedition through the fucking Amazon jungle. There's nothing about that that sounds interesting to me. Nothing. So I admire people who really like to take that kind of adventure. You know the meme that's going around on Instagram where you wake up the first day of vacation to find out your travel partner is the let's go on an adventure race kind of person. And you're the I want a cocktail at the pool bar kind of person. Yes. Okay. That's exactly what I'm talking about. This documentary, the Lost Tapes, this guy wanted to have every inch of this filmed. So he brought along people to cam to carry camera equipment through the Amazon jungle 5, 000 miles, including his neighbor's son, who apparently was a little bit of a up and needed to kind of get like, you know, he needed a knot jerked out of his tail.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So he convinces. So the guy leading this expedition convinces the parents that this kid needs to go on this Life changing. It'd be life changing. He's like 21 years old or something. So this kid is ill equipped to walk a mile to the grocery store, let alone 5,000 miles through the Amazon.

[A]

And he's got a train for that.

[B]

Oh, my God. And the guy leading the expedition, this ex, you know, IDF guy. Hold on one second. Amazon 5000. I want to make sure I say his name correctly. Amazon 5000 expedition Mickey Grossman. Mickey Grossman is the guy who put on this. Okay, so Mickey Grossman decides he's going to go through an application. You have to go through an application process. You're going to. He's going to pick a number of people that are going to meet him for certain sections of the race. Okay, I am not going to spoil this, but this becomes the most fascinating document, one of the most fascinating documentaries I have ever scene in my entire life. Six episodes long. Six episodes long. I promise you, you will not be disappointed in this. It is engrossing. It is fascinating. Mickey Grossman is a complete douche noozzle. He does nothing but berate everybody on this trip. Yell and scream.

[A]

It's already hard enough.

[B]

Oh my God. And then the twist at the end of this documentary is like what in the good. Just where.

[A]

Where can we watch this?

[B]

You can watch this on Netflix, I think.

[A]

I knew you weren't gonna know it.

[B]

Then why'd you ask me?

[A]

Just Google.

[B]

It's on Amazon Expedition from Hell. The lost tapes. Season one. Season one. Will there be a season two? So there's over 700 hours of footage that they. They. That Mickey hands over to the documentary filmmakers with no editorial rights. Mickey Grossman. They just buy it from him, right?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And so what they discover in this trove of 700 hours becomes fuel for a super interesting.

[A]

Okay, I can't wait to watch it.

[B]

You have to watch it.

[A]

This is much better than your recommendations of wife swapping. And. Well, those are good, too, but they say the other way. Back and forth, two times.

[B]

All right, number two. You ready for this?

[C]

Yes.

[B]

I know this is going to come as a surprise, but I'm just going to share this with you. Miley Cyrus, David Letterman.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

I saw this David Letterman.

[A]

It looked good.

[B]

Do you like Miley Cyrus? Yeah. Okay, so do I. For whatever reason, I like her. Yeah, I really. I think. I think she kind of pulled. She pulled me in when she did that New Year's Eve special.

[A]

She's got an amazing voice, first off, her godmother's Dolly Parton. And she keeps going. She takes a licking and keeps on kicking, you know, any kind of bumps in the road. She comes out of it great.

[B]

She really does. So I take a dick and keep on.

[A]

That's what I was thinking.

[B]

Sorry, I wasn't so quick on that one. I. Astrid was watching this one night. I was in the studio editing. I go to the bedroom and I catch it. And I got to tell you, it's good television. Yeah, it's good television. Miley is rather open with Dave, and Dave is rather probing with his questions as he can be. He's like, sneaky probing. Yeah. You think he's being your friend, but he's trying to get information that the rest of the world doesn't know.

[A]

He does it with a laugh.

[B]

He does it with a laugh and a giggle and a smile. He's just so good at what he does. And I think he's even better now that he's got, like, you know, he does it for an hour, and he doesn't have to feel pressured or, like, rush people in and rush people out. He's the best that ever lived. My opinion, it anyway, Dave Letterman sitting down with Miley Cyrus. And then the fact that Miley sings, she tells Dave, I don't want to do it your way. I want to do it my way. That's the way I've always been. That's the way I'll always be. Yeah, I have a big ego, and I just Want to do it my way. So they intersperse this with music that she sings at a hotel lobby in la. Apparently she's been putting on a series of concerts in hotel lobbies in la and it's like by invite only. And so she does some music interspersed with the interview. And I thought it was really interesting, really fascinating. Take a watch.

[A]

I had my eye on that, so now I know to actually watch it.

[B]

Yeah. But I'll share a little bit. And I'm not. Again, I'm not going to spoil, but I'll share a little bit. Miley, for the last song that she does, she covers a Talking Heads. You know that for the. Whatever it is, the 40th anniversary.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

It's not making sense.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

The Talking Heads or David Byrne asked artists to recreate Stop Making Sense doing their own version of a particular song. And then he's going to publish this album. It might be published already. So he asked Miley to do a cover and she does Psycho Killer.

[A]

Oh, nice. I love that song.

[B]

But she changes it completely. Run, run, run, run, run, run, run away.

[A]

We'll stop there.

[B]

Yeah, you got that. You know the song. But Miley changes the song completely, including, like, speaking in French for some portion of it. I gotta be honest, not my favorite part of the documentary.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

I think you have to treat. Stop Making Sense like a piece of orchestral music, like Beethoven's ninth. You don't put your own words into Beethoven's Ninth. It's.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

One of the greatest pieces of music that's ever written. Stop Making Sense is one of the greatest albums that will ever be. And if you're a fan of music, whether or not you like Talking Heads, you'll understand its place in history is secure. And I think you got to treat it with a little bit more respect. She puts a bunch of her own words in there. She changes it. She talks during the song. And I was kind of turned off by that. I thought to myself, you know, I appreciate your. You're out there taking risks and, you know, being creative. Being creative. But don't do it with this song. Don't do it without making sense. Just do. You would have done a wonderful job just doing your ver. Just doing a version like a cover tune. Right. But instead she goes on and speaks in French. I don't know, I just like. I thought to myself.

[A]

But other than that, it's good.

[B]

She sings. Oh, this is what she sings in it. She goes, I love you, Psycho Killer. I love you so much. Yeah, yeah. And I'm like, did you not get the irony of the song in the first place? Did we have to put actual words we couldn't read in between the lines? Yeah. To do it your way. I could appreciate. I could appreciate when an artist takes a good leap, but I just think this one didn't hit the rest of the interview. The rest of the music. Fantastic. Go for it. Lovely. Wonderful. She's got that gravelly voice that is, like, scientifically sexy. People are really attracted to that smoky voice. I should have kept on smoking cigarettes.

[A]

Why did I stop that?

[B]

Why did I stop that?

[A]

Oh, for many reasons. Many good reasons.

[B]

Well, children is probably the best reason why I stopped smoking cigarettes. I. I stopped. Actually.

[A]

You don't even have time to smoke cigarettes.

[B]

Smoke cigarettes. What's that? What's that cigarette? I love it. I don't. Once a year. Once a year, I smoke that cigarette, and I quickly remind myself of why I don't smoke cigarettes anymore. Yeah, yeah. It just leaves. It's. It's overstimulating.

[A]

I'm the same way. I. Once a year. I don't know. It's not a specific day or time. It just happens with a friend. And then I'm like, we should smoke.

[B]

A cigarette here and see what happens. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no. We'd have to do this undercover. See that air filter right there? Would have to, like, blow into the.

[A]

Air filter, like when you were young, out the window.

[B]

Oh, man. Put a couple dryer sheets and the rubber band around it, and I had that little thing. You know what I'm saying? And I'd blow the smoke out of it. Did you. You didn't do that. How many people out there. Text me. How many people out there made your own air filter by putting dryer sheets over an old toilet paper tube or paper towel tube and then just blow the smoke out. It worked like a charm. We do it at hotel. I'd bring them to hotel rooms. Oh, okay.

[A]

You brought your.

[B]

Yes, because I think I told this story once. We were. We were staying in Mexico for a while with my dad. He had us at the top of this, like, Nestle Hotel in Mexico City.

[A]

That's right. Yeah.

[B]

On the 118th floor.

[A]

This is where you took a ride with the guy.

[B]

Oh, yeah, the old guy. The old Mexican guy who took us to the tequila factory. We were 15. What was he thinking? And Kevin got sick on top of the. The raw pyramid. The sun God pyramid. Oh, my God. So we were up at the top of that building, and this is a. This is At a time when they did allow smoking in most hotel rooms. Like what, you didn't have smoking or non smoking till about, I don't know, late 90s, something like that is when they started dividing everybody into smokers or non smokers. But we were in that hotel room, my dad would be at a meeting or something and we would be smoking cigarettes in the bathroom with that little air fan on. I cannot believe my dad never noticed that we were smoking. Or he did and he just didn't give a, he was like, whatever, this is the same.

[A]

Or he did and just thought it was coming from the next room because basically like everybody smoked.

[B]

Yeah, this is coming, this is the same trip where we get on an airplane to go from like Mexico City to Guadalajara in the middle of the night. It's like nine, ten o' clock at night. Last whatever it was the dark, I just remember it being dark and late. And we get on there and there's four people on the flight and three of them are us. Yeah. My dad, my twin brother and I. And they served us dinner on the flight. And when they served us dinner on the side, there was a five pack of Winston cigarettes that they gave you on the tray with a pack of.

[A]

Matches Right after dinner smoke?

[B]

Yes. On a plane full of pure oxygen? Sure, why not? Everybody light up after dinner. So because the plane was empty, the stewardesses. Stewardess led us go wherever we wanted to. She was like, whatever you want, wherever you want to sit. So Kevin and I were way in the back of the plane, eating dinner, smoking cigarettes as an apper teeth. Where's my dad? I don't know. He's somewhere.

[A]

He was asleep.

[B]

He's probably like, whatever, I just don't care. I know now having children, I would probably be the same way. I'd be like, whatever.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

You know, my kids, they have like, they're on like their fifth Juicy Juice of the day or whatever and they start screaming for another Juicy Juice. And I know it's terrible for them and I don't want them to drink all that sugar, but I go, oh, whatever. Does it shut you up for three minutes. Okay, put that straw on your mouth for three minutes and don't ask me another question and everything will be just fine. Oh my God. So Miley's got that smoky. I I she says she does not. She in the. I'll just share a little bit about the conversation. She claims that she no longer does any drugs, no longer drinks. Right. That on occasion she has taken a couple puffs a tokes Off a joint.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

And that. That the only time that she has smoked in the last couple of years is with her mother.

[A]

Oh, that's right.

[B]

And that her mother had, like, this bad anxiety, couldn't sleep, all this other stuff. And so Miley or somebody. I think Miley shares that. She said, mom, you got to try dope. Like, try some pod. Get on the get. Get up with the kids. Do the marijuana. As my mom would say, do the marijuana. And so she started to smoke, and now she's like, miley goes, my mom has weed that if you take one hit of it, you may be out for a day, you may be gone for a day. And my mom smokes it all day long. She goes, last time I smoked pot, I took one hit off my mind. It wasn't even, like, a real hit. It was like a pretend hit just to satisfy my mom. Right. And I took a hit and I was on the couch for, like, three days.

[A]

There's that weed out there.

[B]

There is now, like, 30% THC, man. That's why I can't do it anymore. Like, I. I tried those gumm. I got the wrong corner. I got the wrong corner. Was up all night long, stressing and straining.

[A]

But Jamaican weed was good.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah. Was it? You like the Jamaican weed?

[A]

It was. It was like a perfect mellow. It didn't put you into some kind of tailspin?

[B]

Because I think they know, like. They know how to grow it.

[A]

They've been doing it for years.

[B]

They've been doing it the best for years. Legally. Yeah. And they, like the Rastafarians. I don't think they, like, try and breed.

[A]

No. Here in America, this is the stuff. This is the good stuff. And here. Here.

[B]

Yeah. Why? With what Mother Nature gave you? Yeah. And, you know, here in America, everyone's got to have bigger, faster, stronger. Right. And so we just keep on, like, hybriding everything until it's 100 THC. Yes. I saw some. I gotta tell you this. They gave me the steroids because my back hurt. And I hate steroids. It drives me crazy. It makes me a madman. It honestly does.

[A]

You, like, I've got roid rage.

[B]

I do. I have roid rage. I'm terribly depressed. I don't see the light at the end of the tunnel. It's a dream that, like, for some reason, steroids really affect me negatively, but they work. And that's. And so on occasion, if my back hurts just so bad and the doctor says, take some steroids, man. He even told me. He's like, dude, Take some steroids. It's five days. You'll have 10 days worth of drama and then you'll be over it. Well, that 10 days worth of drama you have to suffer through. And so does everybody else around me. I know. So. And the other thing about the steroids, they make me ravenously hungry for stuff I should not be eating. As if the cream and cereal wasn't enough, Astrid's like, hey, babe, you want to, you know, she's making whatever you want to arepa, you know.

[A]

God, those arepas are good.

[B]

Oh, so good. But I'm like, no, I want Taco Bell. Taco Bell, Brian. Taco Bell.

[A]

Did you get Taco Bell?

[B]

I walked up to fucking Taco Bell. Not walked, I drove up to Taco Bell. I got five Hard Shell supreme tacos. They're good, no tomatoes. But two things bothered me about this one. It's fucking Taco Bell.

[A]

I know it's good, but I at least once, twice a year go to Taco Bell late night.

[B]

What do you get?

[A]

I get the Hard Shell Supreme.

[B]

Tacos.

[A]

Yeah, the Supreme. Yeah.

[B]

A little sour cream.

[A]

The sour cream, yeah.

[B]

Okay. And then I love that fire sauce. Two things I noticed. Number one, tacos tasted the same, but the fire sauce is different. They're using a different ingredient in the fire sauce. Tell me if I'm crazy. But the fire sauce did not tast anything like I remembered. It's been a long time since I've had Taco Bell. But okay, I'm up there, I'm eating by myself. There's no one in the restaurant whatsoever, right?

[A]

Picture eating a Taco Bell.

[B]

I am literally watching by myself. You know, I've got the news on my phone and I'm eating and I'm just like in full on roid rage mentality. I'm like, I'm going to fucking kill this person. I'm going to get that person, call the lawyer on that guy and I'll sue this guy. I'm like making a hit list. I'm like, I will, I will. You won't. So I'm there all by myself. It's like three o' clock in the afternoon. They're all by myself and in walks a guy. And I have never in my life, and I've seen a lot of stone people. I have never in my life seen someone so obviously obliterated out of his mind. When he walked in the door, you could smell it on him. I was sitting in the back of the restaurant. It didn't take but three minutes for the Smell to get to me as he's standing at the counter.

[A]

This guy, that's just Atlanta.

[B]

Oh, yeah, yeah, that's true. Welcome to Atlanta, AKA Denver. I mean, I don't even. I don't even remember Denver. I know I smell it.

[A]

Like I'll be driving on a highway. All of a sudden I'm like, where am I?

[B]

If I lost my mind? Or can you smell it on the highway sometimes? Who is smoking so much pot that the cloud stays around at 88 miles per hour in my fucking car with the windows open? It's crazy. Atlanta is like one big cloud. Weed. Oh yeah.

[A]

You get like a door dash or something too? I can absolutely smell it from the person.

[B]

Go to the airport. Go to the airport in Atlanta. I know you've been to the airport in Atlanta. Go to the airport in Atlanta. It is nothing but weed. That's it. That's all it smells like. So this guy, he's up at the counter, okay, and he's waving back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. He. That someone comes to help him and he is having trouble pronouncing the word taco. He is like, yeah, I want a taco. And the guy's like, taco. And he's like, taco. What's that stuff you put on it? And he's like, cheese, sour cream, creme. Creme. Yeah, sour cream. Yes, I want sour cream. Yes, yes. Can I get. Oh, man, I just. Can I get a cup so I can put it over there? He's pointing to like the. The fountain machine. And I was like, oh, my God, if I was an asshole, I would be videotaping this right now. Chrissy. Never seen someone so stoned. So the guy comes, he sits in a booth and he's facing me, like five booths away, okay? He is bleeding out of his eyeballs, literally bloodshot to the point where they are. And he smells so dank. He just smells dank, like he had dipped himself.

[A]

It's a good stony place to go.

[B]

You know what he ordered? He had like 12 tacos. Yeah, 12 soft shell tacos. And that guy was munching, dude. Munching hard.

[A]

Oh, yeah, you gave me munchies.

[B]

He was staring at his food. He had no phone, no nothing. He was just like staring at the food. Food falling all over his face. I thought to myself, that's. That's what happens when you get the weed. That's super duper good. Oh, yeah, you get super stoned on your gourd. Now I know how Miley felt when she took it. Yeah. But anyway, back to the point. Miley's got that super gravelly, sexy voice she does. Astrid's so in love with it. She's like, oh, my God, I love her voice so much. Not her singing voice, her actual.

[A]

Her voice. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, because she's got that twang to it too. Yeah, she does the accent.

[B]

Yeah. And her dad just got divorced from his 19 year old wife.

[A]

There's a whole drama going on.

[B]

Wow. Billy Ray Cyrus. Yeah. Well, listen, you know, being an achy.

[A]

Breaky heart, he's got.

[B]

He's got achy Breaky boner, probably. All right, let's take a break. We'll talk more about icky breaky boners when we get back.

[C]

Well, thank the baby Jesus. Brian took a breath. And now I will use this opportunity to let you know that we've got a brand new phone number. That's right. It's 212-4333, TCB. And you can text us anytime you want or you can call and leave us a voicemail and we might just use your message on the show once Brian gets through all the messages he missed last year.

[B]

Of course.

[C]

Anyway, you can also find and DM us on Instagram at the commercial break and on TikTok CB podcast. And of course, all of our audio and video is easily found on tcbpodcast.com now I'm going to thank G one more time that we have sponsors, so thank G. And here they are.

[B]

I'm watching this guy on Instagram. Speaking of Atlanta Airport. I'm watching this guy on Instagram. Look at this. I'll describe it to the audience here in a second. Look what he's doing. Okay, you see, that guy is as ripped as he can get. This is the John Anderson on Not John Anthony. No, not John Anthony. We're gonna get to him. Look at that.

[A]

Yeah, he's like a muscle head.

[B]

He's a musclehead. He's huge. And he's apparently very popular on Instagram. He's got. He looks great. I mean, if that's your thing. He looks. He looks great. He's sharing all of his food tips. And one of the food tips that he shares is cook a bunch of ground beef, put it in a bag, put it in a bag, freeze it, thaw it, cut a hole in the bag with your teeth, open it up with your teeth, just rip into it and then start eating. Like, start pushing the cooked ground beef out of it and just eating it like a popsicle. It's fucking Disgusting, man. I don't know. I mean, I get it.

[A]

I want some ground beef. Just protein. Bowl? Yeah.

[B]

Are you in that much of a hurry? You can't take out a bowl. You already went through the process of freezing it, thawing it, cooking it. Why don't you just pour it into a bowl and use the spoon? Now listen, John, I'm not trying to start a fight, brother. You know what I'm saying? Because quite frankly, you'd snap me in half. But I gotta ask, what's the point? Just put it in a bowl, eat it with a fork. Why are you doing that? That. This, this goes. This is all part of my new kick. You know what my new kick is?

[A]

What?

[B]

People who eat disgustingly. Oh, no, I can't take it. Chrissy, put it in the notebooks. New treaty. It's like this guy at Taco Bell. I mean, the most disgusting kind of eating you can imagine. Like, you know, food falling out of your mouth, tongue slapping all over your thing. I just wonder where some of these people learned how to eat. Do you get disgusted by people who can't eat?

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Is that disgusting to you? We had this conversation a while ago, but it's. It seems to be very practical.

[A]

The treaty is don't eat disgustingly.

[B]

Don't eat disgustingly.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Please don't eat disgustingly because it's making me sick to my stomach. It really is.

[A]

Why are you watching it?

[B]

Well, I don't know. Because YouTube, Instagram keeps serving me up all this bullshit. One of my favorites, one of my favorite new things is to watch me cook dinner. My husband just got off his shift at Taco, you know, wherever at the mill, watch me cook dinner for him. Have you seen these? You haven't seen these? I know you guys out there have seen these. Lady, middle class person, right? Usually a woman is cooking.

[A]

Are there still mills around? I mean, I guess, paper mills.

[B]

Sure, there's a mill still around somewhere. Milk.

[A]

I'm stuck on milk.

[B]

Yeah, don't they mill like wood?

[A]

Paper.

[B]

Paper.

[A]

Okay. Anyways, her husband just got done working.

[B]

At the oatmeal, so this is how it goes. And have you heard the term trad wife?

[A]

No.

[B]

Okay. Trad wife refers to traditional wife.

[A]

Oh, okay.

[B]

The woman cooks, cleans, takes care of the kids. The husband does whatever else needs to be done. I suppose works at the mill. Yeah. And trad wives sometimes take it to the way extreme. We're talking like the 1950s videos that we used to review that you hated. Where the woman takes her place. Is not put in her place. Takes her place in the kitchen, basically the kitchen in the laundry room. And that's how it's supposed to be, and that's the way they prefer it. Okay, whatever's clever.

[A]

Yeah, whatever. Whatever you're in that makes you happy.

[B]

Sure, sure. Okay, whatever. So usually a trad wife of some sort is cooking for their husband who is coming home from a long day at work. And so these videos, while some of them, there's like. Seems that the person on the other end has some real cooking abilities, most of them are disgusting foods being cooked in disgusting ways and then served in a disgusting manner so that someone can disgustingly eat them. Chrissy. Some of these are satire accounts, so you got to really suss through it. Sometimes people are like, making fun of the trad wife, and so they're cooking stuff on purpose that's disgusting. And it seems like based on the comments, about 50% of the people get it and 50% of the people don't. But then there are real ones. Watch me. Watch me make lunch for my six kids or whatever it is. And some of these foods that they are cooking up are absolutely disgusting. One I saw, they took a frozen Salisbury steak. You know what I'm talking about? Okay, like, imagine a Stouffer's at home meal, right? Salisbury steak in a pan full of used grease, Heat it up, throw the Salisbury steak in there, cook it by frying it. It's already cooked. It needs to be microwaved, but they are frying it. Then they put cheese on top of it. Then they throw in some mashed potatoes that then they are frying. They are frying the mashed potatoes. They throw some ketchup on top of the mashed potatoes, they swirl it up, they slop it on a plate. They put a side of mustard and mayonnaise on this. It's just like, what. What are you doing? Now? This is coming from a guy who eats cream and cereal. Okay? So I'm not here to throw stones at a glass house, but I'm gonna throw stones at a glass house. This is like a really weird trend on Instagram that keeps. Get. Keeps getting served up to me mainly, I think, because I keep watching them ad nausea.

[A]

Exactly.

[B]

Because it can't stop wondering who exactly in the fuck is eating this? Who, who, who enjoys this?

[A]

Not everybody's blessed with, you know, cooking abilities.

[B]

Okay?

[A]

So it's gotta work with what you've got.

[B]

You gotta. I guess you do have to work with what you got. And far be it. If someone is feeding Their family. I do the same thing. We feed our family. That's what we do. And you gotta feed your family. And by the way, I spend a shit ton of money on groceries. It's like our number one expense besides our mortgage.

[A]

And we do, too. I'm like, there's two of us.

[B]

How do you. What do you. What is your average weekly grocery bill? Just generally, do you know?

[A]

Yeah, I mean, it seems like I spend a crazy amount every couple of weeks.

[B]

What is that, $250 a week, do you think?

[A]

Something like that.

[B]

Okay, I cannot get out of the grocery store or. Astrid, Astrid. I cannot get out of the grocery store for less than a fucking hundred dollars. And we must visit the grocery store every two or three days. Are we're spending thousands of dollars on groceries.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And I realize that some of this has to do with the moment in time that we're in, you know, this accelerated inflation that's been going on for a very long time. But at the end of the day.

[A]

But a lot of it too, I think it's been proven of the. The makers of things, they're charging you more for less.

[B]

For less. That's it. There's. There's also wonderful human beings on Instagram that are going into Walmart and they're weighing things. They're saying this says 6.7 ounce, you know, 6 pounds and 7 ounces of meat. And then they put it on a scale and it's 3 pounds and 9 ounces. And they're like, what's up, Walmart? Right. Or whoever it happens to, whatever store it happens to be, which is insane to think about. You're getting half of what they say you're getting for that enormous cost. So I'm not arguing that it's hard to feed a family and that sometimes you got to put stuff in that maybe isn't gourmet food. I get it. You're not putting foie gras on your kids lunch, but fried Salisbury steak that's already cooked with cheese and mustard. Come on, that's disgusting. Who wants that? Imagine. I don't know, imagine being the kid at school. You know that kid throws that away. You know that, right? The kid throws it away.

[A]

Oh, yeah. When you get to school, you definitely throw that away.

[B]

You know, my kids voice their opinion by what's left in the lunchbox when they get home from school. Definitely 50 of the time, they leave the stuff that you're supposed to eat, and then they just eat the crap. I did that too, but it's like no matter what you put in there, there's something that.

[A]

Leave the apple.

[B]

No, leave the. The protein. And then eat this. The. You know, the fruit, the yogurt, the cookie. That's what they eat. And they leave the protein. And you're like, how are you gonna survive with no protein? One of my kids right now literally hasn't had a bite of real food in, like, 22 days. She is just on a kick where she. All she will eat. She refuses to eat anything unless it's fatty, sugary, you know, chocolatey, some kind of substance. Terrible for you. And I think to myself, how are we gonna get this. This human to grow if she's not putting anything in her body but fatty?

[A]

Sneak it in.

[B]

I know. They have all those tricks, you know, hey, here's a trick. Mixing blueberries into their potatoes. Tastes delicious. They love it. Those purple potatoes. And you're like, you try that and they go, I don't want blueberries in my potatoes.

[A]

They're on too.

[B]

You're like, you're not supposed to know. These kids are smart, man.

[A]

They're super smart. They are smart, dude.

[B]

They can't get away with this. I remember watching, like, when one of my. My first kid was really young and we were, you know, solid foods, they were kind of getting their own taste. He was getting his own tastes. He was like, okay, I like this, but I don't. Like, used to be that he ate everything, but now he's got tastes. You got taste. You want things, you have demands. What am I, a waiter? Eat what I give you. That's it. And so we had a. You know, so we, as her and I being new parents, we were freaking out. We're like, oh. Oh, my God. How do we get this kid to eat anything good? So then, of course, Instagram the next day, serves you up all the content about how to make, you know.

[A]

Oh, yeah, for sure.

[B]

How to make foods the kid don't. Kids don't want to eat better. You know, mush the peas with strawberries. Whatever they're saying, you know, here's one of these. Take five strawberries and put a piece of steak inside. And the kids love it. It's like a strawberry meat cake. And you're like, okay, let's do that. To find my kid pulling apart the strawberry, taking out the meat and eating the strawberry. And I'm like, what? How did you know that? It's like, blue. Let me share it with you. Blue has been on Prozac for its entire life.

[A]

She has three years. I mean, I didn't even know how.

[B]

Three.

[A]

Is it working?

[B]

Are you kidding me? No, it's not.

[A]

Are you getting it from Mexico?

[B]

I don't know. Yeah, I think so, actually. I think so. I put that pill in a pill pocket, and that dog will swallow that pill pocket. And a minute later, I'll turn around and the pill will be on the floor. And I'm like, how the fuck did you do that? I'll stick it down the throat. I'll cl. You know, I'll put my hand over her, over her muzzle, you know, like a muzzle. I'll rub her throat, see if she will swallow it. She'll do that whole thing. I'll open up her mouth. Nothing in there. Five minutes later, I'll walk in the kitchen, pill on the floor. How did you do that? How did you do that? Blue. Blue is a magician.

[A]

She's gotten good at it.

[B]

Every day she's got real good. You know, in prison, they give people medicine, then they make them open their mouths to make sure they're not spitting it out. And then, you know, 45 days later, they find one guy had 22 Vicodin hidden under his pillow or whatever. That's blue. And it really surprises me. How does a dog know how to do that? How does a dog know how to maneuver with itself? It doesn't have implosable thumbs like my child does. But every time, without fail, that pill gets spit out on the floor. It's an act of Congress to get that thing down that dog's throat. So now I've gotten smart. Now I've gotten smart. I take a piece of bread, and sometimes I'll put peanut butter on it. But I take that bread and I smush it up like a pill pocket, right? And this is what I do. I throw the bread down first. But directly after it, I throw a nice, juicy, fatty, nasty treat from Publix down on the floor.

[A]

So she goes for the bread first and then.

[B]

Yeah. And then doesn't have time to think about taking the pill out.

[A]

Yeah, that's a good trick.

[B]

Yeah, it is a good trick. And you know what works almost like a charm? Except for last night when her and I were fighting for hours over the pill going down her throat. You should have seen me. I'm like a crazy man. I like that stone guy at Taco Bell. Eat the pill. I'm staring at her. She's staring at me. We're having a staring conduct.

[A]

Stand off.

[B]

I'm like, God damn it, Blue, can't you do one thing? One thing for me. We have this. We have this, like, fabric gate that we put up in the kitchen. It's a fabric gate. It goes from the floor up to three and a half feet tall. You lock it. There's no way to move that thing. It's a piece of fabric, but it doesn't move. It's. It's a gate, right? And then it retracts. It rolls back into its little corner. I've been taking Blue out of the kitchen because she keeps on jumping on my daughter when she's eating. Like, stealing food out of her hand.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

So finally, that's it. Last chance. You're out. You're out of the kitchen. Guess what? Three minutes later, she's back in the kitchen. And I'm like, how did you get back in the kitchen?

[A]

Is the gate still up?

[B]

The gate was still up. And I'm like, how did you do that? I haven't figured it out yet. I know she didn't jump over it. The dog's 1 foot 2.

[A]

I know she's dining, so maybe went under it, man.

[B]

Maybe. Maybe. I'm gonna catch her next time. I'll see what's going on. I'm gonna put a video recorder in there. I need that mouse cam back.

[A]

That's right.

[B]

The mouse cam needs to come back. That's right. All right. Check out aunt. Check out the lost tapes. Expedition from hell. Amazon 5000 with Mickey Grossman. You will love it, guaranteed. Check out Miley and Dave. Loved it. Chrissy says dark matter is good. Yeah, Fantastic. If you're anything like Astrid, you can check out Bridgerton and then yeep. Like a little teenage girl with your friends. I'll tell that story.

[A]

Yeah, no, that was a funny conversation earlier. I'm just not into period pieces.

[B]

I'm not into period pieces. What do you want me to do? I can't take it. All right, September.

[A]

I'm also watching the Game of Thrones, the new House of the Dragon.

[B]

Yeah. Okay, there you go. Not into period pieces. September 25th and 26th, down in Florida. Orlando, then Tampa. Come join us. Let us know if you're coming. 212-4333. TCB. That's 212-433-3822. Text comments, questions, concerns, Content, ideas. We'd love to hear from you at the commercial in. At the commercial break on Instagram. Please go ahead and follow us. We would really appreciate it. YouTube.com the commercial break and tcbpodcast.com for all the audio, video, and your free sticker. Okay, Chrissy, I guess that's all I can do for right now.

[A]

I think so.

[B]

But I'll tell you that I love you.

[A]

I love you.

[B]

I'll say best to you, best to you. Best to you. Out there in the podcast universe. Until next time. Chrissy and I always say, we do say, and we must say goodbye.