For Your Consideration: Nextdoor & Ask TCB

Summary

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The Commercial Break | Episode Summary

Episode: For Your Consideration: Nextdoor & Ask TCB
Date: March 20, 2025
Hosts: Bryan Green & Krissy Hoadley
Theme: Improv comedy, pop-culture riffing, and internet weirdness—spotlight on Nextdoor neighborhood oddities and answering half-baked relationship questions from listeners.

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Episode Overview

Bryan and Krissy deliver their signature blend of freewheeling banter and dark humor in this episode, riffing on everything from the madness of March (literally, as in March Madness and Academy Awards campaigns) to the delightful insanity found on the Nextdoor app. Later, the hosts tackle a grab bag of listener-submitted “Ask TCB” relationship questions—ranging from the genuinely needy to the unapologetically absurd. Throughout, their long-standing friendship shines in chaotic riffs, personal anecdotes, and unfiltered advice only they could give.

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Key Discussion Points & Memorable Moments

1. Satirical “WSHIT Evening News” Cold Open [00:02–01:26]

• The show opens with a mock news segment satirizing local bureaucratic fiascos—complete with a bizarre press conference from “Reaper the Sleeper.”
• Notable quote:
  “All right, all you bitches, all you females, all you women, if you are coming to my page, go f** yourself because I am not leaving my video games for no... Women are nothing but total disgrace to this society.”*
  —Reaper the Sleeper [00:50]
• Ends with Karen Doubletree noting that all confiscated stop signs are “tucked away in his mom’s basement,” and the town is officially chaos.

2. March Madness & Sports Nostalgia [02:54–07:33]

• Bryan and Krissy reminisce about the annual ritual of NCAA brackets and their own hapless records.
• Bryan confesses:
  “I stopped filling out the brackets because I don't know what the fuck I'm talking about. No fucking clue.” [03:10]
• Stories of office sports days devolving into group beers and zero productivity ("...there’s a tornado warning back-to-back but we're all watching Tiger Woods.").
• Reflections on American sports icons: Tiger Woods’ legacy & notorious private life, Phil Mickelson’s heel turn (“Wouldn’t surprise me if he’s dating one of the Trumps also.” [07:37]).

3. The NCAA Selection Conspiracy [07:41–10:14]

• Discussion about the suspected corruption in NCAA “on the bubble” team selection.
• Bryan frames it as a microcosm of broader systemic favoritism and “capitalism’s final dying breaths.”
• Quote:
  “It’s all just follow the fucking money, which is unbelievable to me. It only works for a few, it doesn’t work for the many.” —Bryan [08:44]

4. Oscars & the Anatomy of ‘For Your Consideration’ [10:15–15:44]

• Deep-dive into the lawless world of Oscar campaigns, inspired by "Anora"’s big wins.
• Bryan uncovers the astronomical sums spent on Academy “gifting” ($20M to market a movie made for $4M!).
• Quote:
  “They want to see how many hand jobs they’re going to get before the show.” —Bryan, on Academy members waiting to vote [14:49]
• Krissy marvels at how nothing’s secret: “Yeah, it's not that surprising, unfortunately." [14:58]

5. Modern Film Bloat & Prestige TV [15:45–23:02]

• Wistful debate about epic movie lengths, with “The Brutalist” clocking in at 3.5 hours.
• Jokes about needing intermissions and bathroom breaks (“I gotta find babysitters to watch that movie.” [15:54]), in contrast to the tight storytelling of prestige TV.
• Commentary on how streaming series are overtaking films:
  “You can tell an entire story in 8, 10, 12 hours of television in a way that used to be done in a big screen in two hours.” —Bryan [23:02]

6. Nextdoor Neighborhood Theater [27:14–42:00]

• Bryan and Krissy share Nextdoor posts, blending ones from their own neighborhoods with favorites culled from the internet.
• Highlights include residents panicking about cat behavior, flag-counting, WiFi names, the horrors of noisy landscapers, the “beans found on the sidewalk” scavenger quest, and deeply confused senior citizens.
• Memorable quotes:
  • “Could everyone please be quiet for a couple of days? I’m trying to catch up on sleep...” [27:59]
  • "Is it possible to sue the networks for harassment? TV networks, some commercials... I am asking specifically about the logistics of suing the networks." [33:24]
  • “To the neighbor who mows their lawn every single day. Please stop. It's grass, not back hair.” [37:28]
• Krissy: “I love watching this.” (in response to a story about cat chaos) [29:30]
• The pair lampoon the posts and local quirks—Bryan: “People are idiots where I live.” [27:24]
• Running gags include the “lost Roomba,” the meaning of pineapples on porches, and debates over how many American flags is enough.

7. Ask TCB: Relationship Questions with a Twist [43:08–59:01]

• Bryan and Krissy tackle listener questions, toggling between deadpan, real talk, and outright nonsense.

Highlights:

• My Girlfriend Thinks She’s a Cat:
  • “Do you like cats? Do you have a litter box? If you have a litter box, it’s all good. Don’t worry about it.” —Bryan [45:35]
  • “See if there’s some kind of weird sex you can have.” —Bryan [46:03]
• Partner Never Apologizes/Gaslighting:
  • “Know which hills to die on and which ones not to. Even when I’m right…sometimes, I let it go.” —Bryan [47:28]
  • Krissy: “So she’s gaslighting, too.” [47:26]
• Crypto Husband is Driving Me Crazy:
  • Bryan acknowledges the strain of ideological divide and recommends: “Get a divorce. That’s what I got to say.” [51:36]
• Family Treats Me Like an Outsider:
  • “You should have mentioned something the first time it happened. If her family doesn’t like you and she’s involved with them a lot, there is zero chance it’s going to work out well in the long run.” —Bryan [54:22–55:24]
• My Boyfriend Eats Like a Trash Panda:
  • “How did he become your boyfriend? Did you not notice he was slopping up his food like an idiot?” —Bryan [57:56]
  • Krissy: “Manners matter.” [58:28]

8. Bryan’s Self-Deprecating Endnotes, Guest Shoutout [59:01–end]

• Bryan and Krissy salute recent guest Aaron Weber and pitch his comedy special.
• Self-effacing sign-off from Bryan—“We haven’t gotten much better, according to some people on YouTube.” [60:57]
• Promise of more “Ask TCB” and anecdotes in future episodes.

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Satirical News Cold Open: [00:02–01:26]
• March Madness & Sports Nostalgia: [02:54–07:33]
• NCAA Selection Scandal: [07:41–10:14]
• Oscars ‘For Your Consideration’ Rant: [10:15–15:44]
• Movie Length & Streaming TV Debate: [15:45–23:02]
• Nextdoor Neighborhood Segment: [27:14–42:00]
• Ask TCB Relationship Questions: [43:08–59:01]
• Guest Shoutout & Outro: [59:01–end]

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Tone & Language

The episode remains irreverent, self-deprecating, and laden with gleeful profanity. Bryan’s humor is sharp, observational, and at times, sincerely exasperated with the world. Krissy keeps pace with dry quips and a steady supply of snark, amplifying Bryan’s rants and grounding the silliness with the perfect “Oh my god…” at every escalation.

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Notable Quotes

• “Nothing is secret anymore.” —Bryan, on Oscar campaigning [14:53]
• “Could everyone please be quiet for a couple of days? I’m trying to catch up on sleep…” —Nextdoor Post [27:59]
• “Is it possible to sue the networks for harassment?...I am asking specifically about the logistics of suing the networks.” —Nextdoor Post [33:24]
• “If your guy doesn’t have manners and he’s over the age of 20, it’s going to be really hard for him to start picking them up now.” —Bryan [58:29]

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Conclusion

This episode encapsulates the Commercial Break experience: a lunatic joy ride through American pop culture, snarky neighborhood news, and unfiltered relationship “advice.” Bryan and Krissy’s comedic chemistry and improvisational riffing shine, making even the most mundane Nextdoor post or listener problem hilarious and worth a listen—or at least, a summarized read.

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For further episode fun:

• Aaron Weber comedy special on YouTube (as recommended by the hosts)
• Visit tcbpodcast.com for all episodes, show videos, and free sticker requests.

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Transcript

[Karen Doubletree]

And welcome back to WSHIT's Evening News. It's news you can use before use news. I'm Karen Doubletree with today's headlines. Controversy today in Crabapple as the newly unelected head of Doji, the Department of Gross Incompetence, sent officials to the Department of Transportation to cut the power to all the traffic signals and remove all stop signs from the Crabapple main street. Director Xanadu Susk told WSHIT in a statement. These moves were made in an effort to cripple the town's traffic and make parking lots more accessible for his helicopter. One of the officials charged with the responsibility of turning off all the traffic lights and removing the stop signs, calling himself Reaper the sleeper, was targeted with negative feedback and comments on his Instagram page. In a press conference earlier this afternoon, he had this to say.

[Reaper the Sleeper]

Good morning, everybody. Hello, this is Reaper. And I am back with another announcement. All right, all you bitches, all you females, all you women, if you are coming to my page, go yourself because I am not leaving my video games for no. I'm sorry. Video games are my priority. Women are nothing but total disgrace to this society. I'm sorry, but you girls are not of interest to me. I don't know how many times I can say that without actually going blue in the face, but I'm being factual. So please find another man to bother. Please go yourself. The again for life.

[Karen Doubletree]

Beeper then went on to add that while he understands the anger around the decisions being made, part of his compensation package includes being in a room with a real live female and the ability to access an AI sex robot whenever he wanted. But he assured crabappliance that all of the stop signs are safely tucked away in his mom's basement. And now, with the check of traffic, everything's a mess and the whole town's falling apart. We'll be back after this commercial break.

[Brian Green]

On this episode of the commercial break and the special effects don't look like special effects. They don't give it away. The guy rides a big giant worm and you don't know. You're like, oh, where did they get a big giant worm from? Because it's so realistic.

[Chris And Joy Odley]

Never ending story.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. Atreyu.

[Chris And Joy Odley]

Atreyu.

[Brian Green]

Arturo. He's Italian. He's from the planet of Italian. Arturo.

[Chris And Joy Odley]

Arturo.

[Brian Green]

So funny. That's right, you. The next episode of the commercial break starts now. Oh, yeah. Cats and kittens. Welcome back to the commercial break. I'm Brian Green. This is my dear friend and the co host of this show, Chris And Joy Odley. Best to you, Chris.

[Chris And Joy Odley]

Best to you, Brian.

[Brian Green]

Best to you out there in the podcast universe. How the hell are you? Thanks for joining us. We are smack dab in the middle or at the beginning of March Madness. Chrissy.

[Chris And Joy Odley]

Yes, we are.

[Brian Green]

Yes, we are.

[Chris And Joy Odley]

I filled out a bracket. Jeff and I just do it for fun.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. You know, And. And have you ever won a bracket?

[Chris And Joy Odley]

No.

[Brian Green]

No. Either have I. I came really close in, like, 1999, and I got very excited. And then sometime in the last couple of years, I stopped filling out the brackets because I don't know what the fuck I'm talking about. No fucking clue.

[Chris And Joy Odley]

I tried to actually ask AI and it was jumbled all up. It couldn't figure it out either.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, well, you know, it's like. Because the thing is, is that every year, every year, there are these Cinderella teams that just go on a run and they fuck your bracket all up. And I don't like that. Like, I'm with the best. Like, I'm the guy who goes, oh, number one versus number three. Number one. Oh, number 10 versus number four. Number four. I'm that guy every year because I'm a fucking lug nut and I know nothing about sports. And I. I think to myself, I'm being smart about this. And then I, like, randomly choose one. It'll be like, number 13 against number 12, and I'll be like, number 13.

[Chris And Joy Odley]

Because you like that stance.

[Brian Green]

Yes, I like that one. I like those guys. I like that. And inevitably, I'm done after the first round. I mean, I think a couple of years ago, I, like, did okay until they got to, like, the sweet 16, and then I just got blown. I had one team, I had X'd out in the first round. They ended up winning the whole thing, and I forgot who it was. But whatever. I do enjoy watching.

[Chris And Joy Odley]

I remember our first. I think it was our first year working together at Clear Channel at the radio station. We. We. I mean, everybody was just out at the bar.

[Brian Green]

Yeah.

[Chris And Joy Odley]

Watching it again. So, like the. Thursday.

[Brian Green]

Yes, yes. Because you know radio. That's why. Because radio.

[Chris And Joy Odley]

Yeah. We actually didn't need March Madness to. For an excuse at the bar in the middle of the day.

[Brian Green]

No. I will never forget US Open Tiger Woods Monday. A Monday. Extra. Extra rounds. Because they were tied. Right. So they, you know, you go into Playo and it was. I forget the guy's name, the Japanese guy. He was so good. And Tiger woods with a broken leg and they had to play 18 holes. And from the. It started at, like, 8:30 in the morning and they put that on in the con in one of the conference rooms and no one got a thing done the entire day. It was six hours of watching Tiger Woods. Someone went and got some beer and it was just like, I don't know, it was like playing hooky. Meanwhile, you know, the, there's no ads running in the radio shows that it's like, yeah, there's a tornado warnings just running back to back to back on these major radio stations here in Atlanta. We're all watching Tiger Woods. The entire world was watching Tiger Woods. Any excuse, any excuse.

[Chris And Joy Odley]

I just the Achilles heel.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, he's done, he's done.

[Karen Doubletree]

Did you see that?

[Chris And Joy Odley]

He's dating Don Jr's ex wife.

[Brian Green]

Hey, listen, why not? Why not, why not? I mean, you know, it's all goes back to Trump, I guess at the end of the day. I mean, Tiger's no fool. He's. He's one of those billionaires that's going to, you know, benefit from tax cuts. He's like, let me get in this family. Let me get in this family. Listen, I, yeah, I have my thoughts about Tiger woods as a, as a human being. Neither here nor there is private life, his private life. But his private life became so public for so long that it was. It's hard to ignore some of the drama around Tiger, but he has just had accidents and incident after accident and incident. He abused the shit out of his body with that golf swing and he's done. He's not going to play competitive golf at any kind of level ever again. I'm convinced of that. And that's sad to know because Tiger woods really was, oh, one of sports most interesting things. I mean he, he just a different. It's like Michael Jackson, Tiger Woods, I don't know, you know, Tom Cruise, Michael Jordan. These people, they just defy gravity in a way that's really hard to understand. They capture the world's attention and they have the goods to back it up. And then every time, there was a time there when almost every time Tiger woods teed it up, he was in contention or winning. He win like 12 tournaments one season or something. I mean, just like unbelievable. He was so much fun to watch and you could count on him winning. So it was, it, you know, it was great.

[Chris And Joy Odley]

You and I would watch golf all the time with Mickelson.

[Brian Green]

Oh God, Mickelson and Woods at that Masters and Mickelson hit that shot off the pine straw. That was great. It turns out he's a creep too. Wouldn't Date me. It wouldn't surprise me if he's dating one of the Trumps also. I mean, he's just. Now he's in bed with the Saudi Arabians. It's whatever, you know, don't meet your heroes. That's all I gotta say. Don't meet your heroes. But the, the, the March Madness gets me every year. I love it. I love to watch. I'll, I'll start paying attention here over the weekend. But one of the things that I was paying attention to was this story about the University of West Virginia not getting into the tournament. You know, they have a selection committee that essentially selects all of the teams. And there are some. That's just obvious. They're going to be in the tourname Duke. Right? They're going to be in the tournament. They're like the number one team or whatever. They're going to be in the tournament. No doubt. But then there's these on the bubble teams. They call them on the bubble teams. And the selection committee selects those teams. And this year they selected unc, the University of North Carolina, over the University of West Virginia, I think it is. And everyone was like, huh? Like UNC didn't have a better record than, you know, University of West Virginia. University of West Virginia certainly should have had more consideration than uncle. And everybody was calling it a big scandal. And I was reading about it, and it does kind of feel like there's some weight to the conspiracy theories, I guess, as the athletic director for the unc, for the UNC Sports divi, you know, the athletics is on the selection committee. And he got paid some money, and he paid some money. Like there's this, it's all just follow the fucking money, which is unbelievable to me. I mean, listen, it's not the fault of the kids at unc. They're just trying to play some basketball and they're excited about getting into the tournament. And they won their game last night on this, like the, they call it the first four, which is like a wild card. They won, I guess, silencing some of the critics. But it just goes to show that everything these days is bought and paid for. Every fucking thing. Capitalism is taking its final dying breaths. I think we're realizing that it only works for a few, it doesn't work for the many. And it's just like, it's so incredibly transparent what's going on here. And no one seems to give a shit, I guess. No one stops it. No one cares. I, I, I don't know. Again, no knock on the kids from unc, they playing basketball and they're excited to be in the tournament, but so were the kids at the University of West Virginia. They deserve their shot too. And I don't know, there's got to be a way that they can level the playing field or something. Having a selection committee with athletic directors on it doesn't sound like the most.

[Chris And Joy Odley]

Doesn't sound very fair and balanced, does it?

[Brian Green]

No, it doesn't. And you know, fair and balanced.

[Chris And Joy Odley]

It's the FOX News.

[Brian Green]

The Fox news of basketball selection committees. Yes, for sure. And this kind of parlays into another point that I wanted to make about bought and paid for Anora, this movie that took the world by storm. And you know, you saw it.

[Chris And Joy Odley]

I did.

[Brian Green]

You said, hey, listen, this wasn't life changing film.

[Chris And Joy Odley]

It was a great movie. But yeah, no, it wasn't like, oh my God, this is the best movie ever.

[Brian Green]

I know I have seen very few of those movies that like changed my life, but I have seen them. I do know what you're talking about.

[Chris And Joy Odley]

You know, when you know.

[Brian Green]

Yes. Pink Floyd, the wall High on ac changed my life in so many ways. I still can't watch that movie without seeing trails. I mean, it's like weird. I tried to watch that a couple months ago. Yeah, it was on one of the streamers or Pluto TV or something. I tried to watch it and I was like, oh my God, I feel like I'm tripping. I feel like my face is melting. Oh no, wait, that's just the tanning bed. So I'm reading about Anora and let get this, okay, so onora wins all of these Academy Awards and the Academy awards are voted on by the Academy. The academy is made up of, I think 12 or 1300 people. Actors. Give me more money and you win. The Academy is this mysterious group of human beings. Actors, actresses, you know, producers, directors, technical people. I don't know how they pick the people. Yes. Bullshit. Some in the biz bullshit. And they I think have up to a couple weeks ahead of the show to cast their votes. Well, listen, Anora was made like two years ago. It came out a year ago. It didn't change. Anora is not changing from month number three to two weeks before the Oscars. You have to. It's got to be in the calendar year. So we have at least a month to watch this, this, this movie. Why do they wait until the very last minute to submit their votes? Well, here is why. And you may have seen this on a website like Variety or Hollywood Reporter. You may have seen for your consideration.

[Chris And Joy Odley]

Yeah, I've seen that. There's a movie named for your considerate Christopher Guest.

[Brian Green]

The Christopher Guest. That's right.

[Chris And Joy Odley]

Funny.

[Brian Green]

For your consideration. Is someone buying a $10,000 banner ad to target one of the two separate Academy members who will visit that website on any given day? Why is that? Well, because there are big marketing campaigns that the studio heads put on to, first of all, get their movies nominated, and then second of all, once nominated, get them to win an award. Because winning an Academy Award has a very lovely what they call Academy bump. And that means even if you're nominated, but certainly if you win, even if you win, like best technical blowjob fluffer on set, you're going to see more people watching your movie. Because that is a notable effect that happens. It's a rise in viewership based on winning an Academy just nominated. But then if you win, then you get a big bump, of course. And if you win one of the big awards, you get a huge bump. This movie cost 3, 4, 5 million dollars to make. It was a very small budget.

[Chris And Joy Odley]

Low budget.

[Brian Green]

Yes. And everyone around talking about how small a budget, and we made it, you know, gonzo style and here and there and on set and on location and in these places in New Jersey. So this movie doesn't cost much and then it doesn't make much. I think it made, like $40 million worldwide. So, yes, it's a success in the sense that they spent a little bit and they made more. But guess how much they spent on marketing this movie to the Academy.

[Chris And Joy Odley]

I don't know.

[Brian Green]

Almost $20 million.

[Chris And Joy Odley]

Wow.

[Brian Green]

X x. The amount of money that it took to make the movie is what they spent gifting the Academy Award members, I guess wining and dining them, maybe sending them elaborate gifts and taking them on trips. I don't even know. But they're allowed to do it. They're allowed to do it. It's actually frowned upon if you don't. So the reason why they wait till the very last minute to submit their votes is because they want to see how many hand jobs they're going to get.

[Chris And Joy Odley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

They want to see before the show.

[Chris And Joy Odley]

Things they can get out of it. Wow.

[Brian Green]

Unbelievable. Nothing is secret anymore.

[Karen Doubletree]

Nothing.

[Chris And Joy Odley]

Yeah, it's not that surprising, unfortunately.

[Brian Green]

It doesn't. It shocked me, but then for like, half a second, and then I was like, oh, yeah, that makes sense. Totally. They spent more money than any other film this year marketing to the Academy. Any other film. And $20 million is a lot of cash when you're talking About a thousand people that you're trying to target. That's what I do. Quick math in my head, that's $4 million per academy member. If I do that. Minus the one carried. Three and a half million dollars per Academy member that you're spending marketing your film for an Academy Award. And guess what? It worked. There you go. I did not see one of those movies. That one, Dune two.

[Chris And Joy Odley]

Wicked, which I haven't seen either one of those. But then I saw Nora and I saw Conclave. And there's another one I want to watch the Brutalist. But it's three and a half hours.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, it's as long as Adrien Brody's speech, first of all. Second of all, I gotta, like, gear up. Yeah, we gotta take vacation days to watch the Brutalist. Yeah, I gotta find babysitters to watch that movie. There's very few movies I want to get that invested in. Wicked was two hours and something odd long. I enjoyed it. It kept bouncing along. So I thought, oh, okay. There you go. Dune 2 was a lengthy movie.

[Chris And Joy Odley]

You like the Dunes?

[Brian Green]

You could give me more of that all day long. I do like the Dunes. I'm a Dune kind of guy.

[Chris And Joy Odley]

I need to watch a Dune.

[Brian Green]

You gotta watch it. You have to watch. It's so fucking good. And it's so beautifully shot. And the special effects don't look like special effects. They don't give it away. The guy rides a big giant worm and you don't know. You're like, oh, where did they get a big giant worm from? Because it's so realistic.

[Chris And Joy Odley]

Never ending story.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. Atreyu.

[Chris And Joy Odley]

Atreyu Arturo.

[Brian Green]

He's Italian. He's from the planet of Italian. Arturo.

[Chris And Joy Odley]

Arturo.

[Brian Green]

So funny. Atrey. You.

[Chris And Joy Odley]

You wrote the big flying. I brought you the thing, the statue.

[Brian Green]

I know. It's a dog. What was the dog's name? It was Atreyu and Falkor. Falkor, that's right. Well, Neverending Story 2 was my favorite.

[Chris And Joy Odley]

I did not see that.

[Brian Green]

Oh, what a piece of trash. What a piece of trash that was. Clearly, people tried to make a couple bucks off the. The popularity of that movie. I saw that movie in the theater. Scared the out of me because, you know, there's some pretty heavy moments there in that film. But it had boobs, so I like the laser boobs. Laser tits. I love the laser tits. I was all about. It's the first time, I think my mom tried to cover our eyes. And I was like, oh, no, no, no. But my mom got me those nachos. You know, they give you a plate of stale chips and then they had them. They used to have this. They don't have this anymore because I think they realized it was causing dysentery around the world. Yeah. It's very messy. You would press, you would take that plate of chip, like a little basket of chips.

[Rachel]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

And then you would put it under, like, almost like a soda machine, but press the button and cheese would come out. Like cheese whiz or whatever. Hot cheese. And I, you know. Yeah. My mom was like, what do you want? I'm like, oh, give me the nachos. And she gave me the nachos. And halfway through the movie, I ended up puking all over the back of a seat.

[Chris And Joy Odley]

Oh, no.

[Brian Green]

Yes. And so I still cannot have that kind of cheese because it reminds me of the bad taste coming out of my mouth.

[Chris And Joy Odley]

Well, that's not a bad thing. That cheese, I don't think is really good for you.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, that's not cheese. They call it cheese, but it's not really cheese. Yeah. But anyway, Back to Dune 2 is so beautifully shot, so well done.

[Chris And Joy Odley]

I want it.

[Brian Green]

You could give me more of that all day long. That could be four hours long. And I would like it because it's just so good. It's so well acted. Timothy Shalom Zendaya, who could be in anything, she could literally stand still. And I'd enjoy watching her because first.

[Chris And Joy Odley]

Of all, she's really good.

[Brian Green]

She's physically. She's beautiful. She's really appeasing to the eye. But then she's versatile. She's a really good actress. And. And that combination. She has all the things, she can do anything. And I love it. I love her in Euphoria. I love her in all the movies. She's been just a great actress and I can't wait to see what she does in the future. And Timothy is no slouch himself. He's really good, and he's very versatile himself. And then you add in all of the heart, you know, all the other. Javier Bordem and all the other people who are in the movie. It's really well done. And, you know, they have that HBO television show, the one based on.

[Chris And Joy Odley]

You talked about that. I haven't seen it.

[Brian Green]

Mother hens, the chicken hens. I don't know what they call them. The Illuminati. I'm not. The Illuminations. The mothers who go. You know, the women who go around that planet, you know, whispering in people's ears and making them do things. They made a whole Television show about that clan of women that. And how they got to be so powerful and all this other stuff. But because it's not directed by the same person, acted by the same people, and they have the same budget to make those kind of visual effects. And they don't have the sand worms running around that you can ride. It doesn't feel as weighty or as urgent or as present or pressing.

[Chris And Joy Odley]

Totally different.

[Brian Green]

Totally different. Completely different. So I tried to get into it, but, you know, I was like. And I got seven little johnsons to watch. I'm gonna be on Max. Let me watch seven little Johnston. But you know, there's. It's two and a half hours for the brutalist is too much brutalist. As far as I'm.

[Chris And Joy Odley]

Three and a half hours.

[Brian Green]

Three and a half hours. Holy.

[Chris And Joy Odley]

I'm pretty sure it's like. That's what I was saying. It's like a half a day.

[Brian Green]

Oh, no, I'm not doing that.

[Chris And Joy Odley]

Yeah, that's not something.

[Brian Green]

Do they have an intermission?

[Chris And Joy Odley]

I think they do have an intermission.

[Brian Green]

Well, you must. At three and a half hours long. Dances With Wolves had an intermission in the theaters. If I'm not mistaken. They took like a 10 minute intermission because it's four hours long. So, I mean, how can you. How can one person sit for four hours without having to pee or throw up or get more nacho sauce or whatever?

[Chris And Joy Odley]

Where does it say the link?

[Brian Green]

Just ask Chatty GPT Say, how long is the Brutalist?

[Chris And Joy Odley]

How long is the movie the brutalist? Three hours and 35 minutes long.

[Brian Green]

No fucking shit. I thought it was two and a half hours long.

[Chris And Joy Odley]

Three and a half.

[Brian Green]

Oh, my God. No wonder Adrien Brody took so much time. I mean, geez, seven minute. You know, Congratulations speech is nothing compared to three out almost four hours. That is dance. That is Dances with Wolves. Let me see here real quick. I want to. I just want to see something. Let me. Let's open up another page here.

[Chris And Joy Odley]

You got to block out four hours of your day.

[Brian Green]

You really do watch that.

[Chris And Joy Odley]

Or evening.

[Brian Green]

Oh, yeah. You got. You have to prepare for that. How long is the Dances With Wolves? I think it's three and a half hours long. To great movie, fantastic movies. Three hours and one minute long. This is an ex.

[Karen Doubletree]

What?

[Chris And Joy Odley]

It's an extra 34 minutes long.

[Brian Green]

They're telling an entire lifetime of a guy that went out west and danced with the wolves in three hours and one minute. And you can't get the Brutalist in. In under three hours. It's four hours long. Oh, no, I don't know. I can't do that. That's. No, thank you.

[Chris And Joy Odley]

Yeah, that's at least a two parter.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, make it wicked. Brutalist and brutalist. Brutalist and more brutal and ouch. Brutalist and ouch. Part two. I don't know, I mean, I just like, there's no way I'm not in it. I'm not in for three and a half hours. That's, that's three separate nights of watching television for me. I can maybe get 45 minutes in a day of straight watching television and there's just no way. 3 hours and 35 minutes. I thought it was 2 hours and 35 minutes and I was just convinced I'm not going to watch it.

[Chris And Joy Odley]

Yeah, that was already too long.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, that was already way too long for me. The problem, the challenge for directors and writers and producers these days is that prestige television is so good and you have to compete for those eyeballs and you can tell an entire story in 8, 10, 12 hours of television in a way that used to be done on a big screen in two hours. And there has been a trend lately to make movies shorter and shorter. So. But now I'm seeing it's moving in the other direction because I do think in their mind, like, okay, I wrote the Brutalist, this could be a really good prestige television show. Or I can try and fit the story in in one movie. But even wicked, two and a half hours long or two hours and some change and it's still, there's still a part two. So really they filmed, you know, five hours of content because they filmed it all at one time. So there's going to be another part two. So that's the challenge is you're trying to take a movie and have it compete with these streamers. And these streamers have endless hours that they can dedicate to a storyline. And so I think that's why, it's my opinion why anyway, and the studios are probably more willing to do it because they say, well, okay, it may take extra money, but if we can get it on the big screen, that's where we really can make a lot of cash. When the streamers, it just gets lost in a sea of other content and no one really knows, you know, what's going on. So anyway, no one really knows what's going on. Anyway, It's welcome to 2020. I am in the biz. I'm a big TV guy now, making moves. I got a treatment out there. Anybody want a treatment? I Got a treatment. Not. Not for your Uzi penis. I got a treatment. Like a television treatment. And if you work in television and you want a treatment, give me a text me up there, whatever that phone number is. All right, let's do this. Let's take a break. And when we get back, I have not only do I have next door posts that I've been collecting, I have plenty of Ask TCB's relationship style. So we'll let you take your pick. Or maybe we'll get to both. Maybe we'll just mix them up together and. So why don't we take a break, and when we get back, we'll do it. All right.

[Rachel]

Hey, it's Rachel, your new voice of God here on tcb. And just like you, I'm wondering just how much longer this podcast podcast can continue. Let's all rejoice that another episode has made it to your ears. And I'll rejoice that my check is in the mail. Speaking of mail, get your free TCB sticker in the mail by going to tcbpodcast.com and visiting the Contact Us page. You can also find the entire commercial break library audio and video, just in case you want to look at [e-mail] Want your voice to be on an episode of the show? Leave us a message at 212-433. That's 212-433-3822. Tell us how much you love us and we'll be sure to let the world know on a future episode. Or you could make fun of us. That'd be fine, too. We might not air that, but maybe. Oh, and if you're shy, that's okay. Just send a text. We'll respond. Now I'm gonna go check the mailbox for payment while you check out our sponsors. And then we'll return to this episode of the commercial break.

[Brian Green]

I can see greasy little paw prints all over my table here. And I'm wondering exactly which one of my children has. I mean, they come in here all the time, and I like, I. I like to have them in here. You know, my dad was one of those guys that, like, went in with his office was his office, and he never let us in. It was all off limits. But he had all the twinkly, winkly, sparkly things in there. And that's, of course, sometimes what I wanted to play with. He had the computer long before computers were in, generally in homes. And so we liked that office, but it was a no go zone. No, no zone for Us for the kids. But I'm telling you what the. I don't want to be that dad. So I invite my children in here, but every time, I end up spending an hour and a half reconfiguring the studio. Because the one rule is don't touch the equipment. And the one thing they do is touch the equipment. Even when I'm here, I'll be like, I'll turn my back for two seconds and they're over here pressing all the buttons.

[Chris And Joy Odley]

What do you do in here without the equipment?

[Brian Green]

Well, they do gymnastics. They make movies. Sometimes I let them talk in the microphones to make their own show. That'll never get hurt. You know, they're taking after Daddy.

[Chris And Joy Odley]

That's sweet.

[Brian Green]

They, like. They see Daddy doing something and they take after it. All right, so your choice. Ask TCB next door. What do you want to do this segment?

[Chris And Joy Odley]

Let's sprinkle in a little next door.

[Brian Green]

All right, let's do next door. People are idiots where I live. All right, this is next door. I have now taken the nextdoor app so I don't have to scroll through next door. Saving them doesn't make any sense because I still have to scroll through all of them. So I wrote them down here. And I also found on the Internet a place where some people are posting their favorite next doors. So I'm kind of. I'm taking it to some from there and some from local. And I've been collecting them over the last. I don't know, since the last time we did this a month ago or a month and a half ago. And here we go. You ready?

[Chris And Joy Odley]

I'm ready.

[Brian Green]

Could everyone please be quiet for a couple of days? I'm trying to catch up on sleep, and it's very loud. Sure, sure, Grandma Greta, no problem. Shut up. Hey, by the way, Grandma Greta, I feel you. I wish everyone would shut up too. I got those fucking landscapers out here now. They're here at 6 in the morning.

[Chris And Joy Odley]

It's crazy.

[Brian Green]

For the past three weeks, a cat has been following me on my daily walks. I'm worried the owner may have trained the cat to follow people, and now he's lost his way. Picture of cat not included, by the way. Not included.

[Chris And Joy Odley]

You can't train a cat.

[Brian Green]

No, you can't train a cat. No, those. Those creatures are weird. Yeah, they're. It's like having a wild squirrel in your house. You just hope that they don't attack. I was watching this video the other day, this YouTube video, and it was like, there's two cats and a dog in the house, and a kid is getting a snack in the kitchen. It's like a. It's like a. One of those in home cameras, right? So the kid's getting a snack in the kitchen, and one of the cats is at his feet, turns around, knocks into the cat on accident. The cat freaks out, screams, you know, and runs away. And the other cat. And he hits the other cat. Well, the other cat attacks the first cat and then runs and attacks the kid. He's like, you know, biting and scratching the kid. And then the dog comes and knocks the kid over, attacking the cat. It's chaos.

[Chris And Joy Odley]

I love watching this.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. And I was like, oh, no. No cats for me. No, thanks. On my 2.5 mile walk with my dog, I saw a total of 13American flags. I was hoping to see more. What's wrong with this country?

[Chris And Joy Odley]

I was hoping to see more.

[Brian Green]

This is from my side of town, by the way. Third, you saw 13 and 2.5 miles. You were hoping to see more. I'm out of butter. Can someone please help me? And call Walmart to deliver to this corner naming the streets. I will be around all day.

[Chris And Joy Odley]

I'll be here all day.

[Brian Green]

I'll be all day. Can someone please call Walmart for me? Sure, no problem. Random question. Does anyone have a dash hound I might be able to take a picture with? That's creepy. That's creepy. Something's going on there we need to know about. Hey, out of curiosity, does anyone know what day Covid ended? Sure. January 14th. Kid, you're all good. Please shut up. Hi, neighbors. I'm Patrick. That's all.

[Chris And Joy Odley]

It's the starfish.

[Brian Green]

Yes. Blocked channel. Here we go. Urgent help. My son. My son visited and blocked Fox News on my tv. I don't trust digital or anything itunes. Fox is all that should be allowed in my household. How can I unblock Fox? I told my son that I'm taking him out of the will and he needs to put Fox back on my tv. Please help immediately.

[Chris And Joy Odley]

Oh, my God. Did anybody respond?

[Brian Green]

No. Well, I didn't put any of the responses unless I thought they were really funny. I don't think actually this had any. I think this is like fresh when I saw it. But I'm sure this is coming from my mom's retirement home. I'm sure of it. I found a can of beans. They are Bush's brand. Bush's Best, to be exact. They were found on this street last night. If you lost a can of beans, tell me what kind of flavor they are. And you can come pick them up.

[Chris And Joy Odley]

Just for security sake.

[Brian Green]

Wow. Yeah. Just to make sure you're the actual being owner goes, please show me a receipt and I'll be happy to give them back to you. I really can't keep them. I have too many beans already. To which someone said, do you have a picture? Do you have a picture? I don't know if they're trolling or not, but that's a pretty funny comment. Anyone have anything new to argue about? I'm sick of politics and pandemic. Anyone have some strong opinions on the best actor or who should play the next Batman or which band is better than the Beatles? Anything? I'd like to have a conversation. I think you're just lonely, bro. Yeah, Talk to Chad, GPT. He'll have an argument with you. She he it. The they. Hi, all. Now, we all use devices connected to the Internet and whatnot. And my grandkids come over and they use their phones and their iPads, too. Well, the other day, my grandson went to connect to the WI fi and our neighbor's router is named all the cops are buttholes. Now, my wife is very upset. She started crying. She was upset that our ra. That our neighbors are rude and using words like buttholes. Any idea. Any thoughts on how I should approach the situation?

[Chris And Joy Odley]

Well, first of all, you can't. You can see that, but you don't know where it's coming, like which house or apartment it's coming from.

[Brian Green]

It's probably some dude in a van stealing your credit card card information.

[Chris And Joy Odley]

He doesn't have a. He definitely doesn't have a flag. American Flag, Yes.

[Brian Green]

Is it possible to sue the networks for harassment? TV networks, some commercials, Southwest Airlines, Progressive Insurance, Geico and Medic and Medicine commercials appear over and over again, and I'm starting to feel harassed. Please don't tell me to mute or change the channels. I am asking specifically about the logistics of suing the networks. You're asking for legal advice on nextdoor. Hey, listen, I don't know. People have won money for stupider shit. Trust me, that's true. Yeah. An arrow just landed in my backyard. I'm very concerned. My dog was barking an arrow. Where do you live? Sherwood Forest. I mean, what are you doing over there? My dog was barking his head off in the backyard, and my husband went out to try and figure out what was going on. And this woman was standing on something in the neighbor's yard. Her head was peeking above our fence, telling us the arrow had accidentally shot into my yard. It was a 2.5 foot arrow. Wow, that's a big one. And she was trying to tell my husband. Yeah, it's not dangerous. Don't worry. I have my own kids and animals in the backyard. What would you do? Tell your neighbor to stop shooting arrows in your backyard.

[Chris And Joy Odley]

She's probably practicing her archery.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, she's bad at it, but she's practicing. You know what I would do? Stay out of the yard for a few days.

[Chris And Joy Odley]

That's best.

[Brian Green]

To the person who assumes my cat is homeless. Oh, I think this might be related to the other one. Ready? Okay. To the person who assumes my cat is homeless. He's not. Recently he has been coming in looking especially groomed. And he is a rough and tumble cat from lives outside. His fur feels luxury luxurious. But I'm salty because he doesn't let me brush him. I saved him from the needle and adopted him about six years ago. So please leave my cat alone. Stop taking care of him.

[Chris And Joy Odley]

The one. The one that was following. Please stop taking care of him.

[Brian Green]

Suspicious driver the last few nights my husband has had reason to be driving has had a reason to be driving around the city at 2 or 3am Three of the nights he has seen cars. One on each night. All different. They come from major streets in and out of our neighborhoods. They drive slowly around houses. One stopped in front of a house, but he didn't see anyone get out while he was there. He followed the car and after it took a left into our neighborhood. It sped up and ran the light. Does anybody see these suspicious cars? Also, should we pursue? Should we pursue? Yeah, everything. Everything turns out great when you pursue random STR cars at 3 in the morning. That's exactly the advice the cops would give you.

[Chris And Joy Odley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

Have you heard of my story about chasing my own stolen car down into the east side of Atlanta? Oh, yeah. Yes. But I had the cops with me, so that was a little bit different. I work for Lyft as a driver and I usually work late night hours to give people rides home from the bars. The last few nights I've noticed the same old man following me around in his car at 2 or 3am I think he's stalking me. I tried to switch to my wife's car the next night, but he found me and he still followed me to customers, houses and through other neighborhoods. I finally got scared and ran a red light to get away from him.

[Chris And Joy Odley]

Is this the same car that the.

[Brian Green]

Other people were right? Exactly. Who knows? I don't know. These are two. No, this is not connected. But Then he says, can anyone help me find this man not pictured? Sure. You don't give any description about your car, his car, the neighborhood that you were in?

[Chris And Joy Odley]

Why would you need that?

[Brian Green]

Yeah, exactly. I was at this restaurant and I saw two kids, one of which had a trench coat on and the other and standing on another one's shoulders. I think they were trying to pass as adults to get alcohol. That's gotta be a joke. That's gotta be a joke.

[Chris And Joy Odley]

Yeah, that's like out of a movie.

[Brian Green]

That's a good one. I like that one. Cheers to you, sir. That's a good one. 1. To the neighbor who mows their lawn every single day. Please stop. It's grass, not back hair. I agree with you, bro. I got a guy who blows leaves in the middle of summer. There's no leaves. Stop it. Does anyone else hear that humming noise at 3am or is it just in my head? The comment is, do you have your TV on at night? He responds, yes, goes, unplug the tv. Lost Roomba. My Roomba was a rogue Roomba. I had my rogue. I had my Roomba cleaning an area rug that's outside of my porch. It escaped under the fence. If anyone sees it, please return it. What are you doing to that Roomba dude? You fucking IT room. I had to get away from you. The squirrels in my. Squirrels in my yard have been acting awfully suspicious lately. Anybody else notice this?

[Chris And Joy Odley]

What is suspicious?

[Brian Green]

What are they doing? What are they doing? They're filming X rated squirrel porn. They're whacking each other off in the backyard. Offering a free couch, slightly used, may contain my cat.

[Chris And Joy Odley]

You should put up one that said that was blue.

[Brian Green]

I thought the same exact thing. Did anyone else see that guy dressed like Victorian times at the grocery store? I know this is a weird question, but do you believe in time travel? Because I think he might have been a time travel somehow. I want to think this is a troll, but I think it's probably not.

[Chris And Joy Odley]

Probably it's real.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. To the person who keeps putting their mail in my mailbox. I know where you live. My dog keeps escaping despite the invisible fence. Does anyone know of any invisible fence recommendations? And the other guy goes, well, I'd help you, but it's kind of hard to see. Hahaha. It's good to know there's some friends out there. You know what I'm saying? That all these crazy people. There's some friends out there. To the person who took my lawn gnome during my garage sale, that wasn't for sale. And I want it back. Okay, we'll get it right back to you. Found a pineapple on my porch this morning. Does anyone know what this means? Is anyone missing a pineapple? Yes, I do know what that means. That means someone wants to fuck your wife. Whoever decorated the stop sign with the googly eyes. Please stop. It's confusing drivers. Is it really? As if. As if your entire life that sign, shape and color has not been embedded into your brain. Someone keeps ringing my doorbell at 2am and leaving a rubber ducky on the porch. What does this mean? I don't know, dude. That actually sounds kind of scary. Yeah. Who's playing the bagpipes? It's very beautiful, but it's very early.

[Chris And Joy Odley]

Oh, that was you, Brian.

[Brian Green]

I know.

[Chris And Joy Odley]

Practicing for Lord of the Acid.

[Brian Green]

That's right. Lords of the Acid. Live Philip Savina, Lords of the Acid. Watch Brian have a complete anxiety meltdown on stage while playing the bagpipes. While playing the bagpipes, backed by Mike Gordon from Fish. I found. Found one shoe on this street. If you're hopping around looking for it, let me know. Someone keeps stealing my cat's toys from the porch. I guess we have a cat burglar in the neighborhood. Does anyone have a unicycle I can borrow? Asking for a friend. There's one more here. Okay. Oh, no. That was it. Okay. All right. So that. That was it. That was all the ones I got. Those were good.

[Chris And Joy Odley]

Yes.

[Brian Green]

That's good. Thank you. Internet, you win every time. Internet, you win every single time. All right, let's do this. We'll take a short break, and when we come back, we'll do some ask TCB's relationship style. So if you've been waiting to get this question answered for a year, I'm gonna get to it.

[Chris And Joy Odley]

We're here.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, we're here for you. Yeah, we're here for you. I want to leave enough time. I don't want to, like, be responsible for anyone's shitty relationship. So I just wait a long time till I'm sure it's already worked itself out, and then give the advice, and hopefully you'll have taken it by then. All right, we'll be back.

[Rachel]

Let me do something Brian has never done. Be brief. Follow us on Instagram at the commercial. Brief break. Text or call us 212-4333, tcb. That's 212-433-3822. Visit our website, tcbpodcast.com for all the audio, video and your free sticker. Then watch all the [e-mail] the commercial break and finally share the show. It's the best gift you could give a few aging podcasters. See, Brian, that really wasn't that difficult, now, was it? You're welcome.

[Brian Green]

All right, so I have a bunch of ass. Tcbs. Relationship related that I have had forever. I mean, some of them are. I know, guys, I'm sorry. But honestly, sometimes it just takes me a while to get to it. And you have to. I have to compile them. The. The TCP hotline is a great idea if we actually had a way of managing all the text messages that come through in, like, one neat, nice little package. And I know they have apps that do this for us. Us. But honestly, sometimes they get buried. You know, buried, buried, buried, buried, buried. And then I have to go back to it, and I have to go, oh, that's right. That person asked a question, and whatever, blah, blah, blah. You get it. We're unorganized here. Okay? One idiot running the ship. It's Two Ding a Lings and A Yingling. All right, so as you see, drinking. Yeah, well, that's the name of the last episode. I put. A Ying a Ying a Ling. Wait, Ying a Lings Twins. Ying a Lings, Darcy sings. And Two Ding a Linger. Sounds like that. Okay. All right, so you want funny ones or you want more serious ones? You want me to mix them up?

[Chris And Joy Odley]

Yeah, you got to mix them up.

[Brian Green]

Okay, here. Here's one. Now, I'm. I. I think this is serious, but I'm not 100% sure. And so you can tell us, Thomas, you can tell us. Text me and let me know if this was a serious question. But we got this a long time ago when we reviewed about the lady who thought she was a cat and the guy who was dating her. The girl was, like, 20 years old, and he was, like 56 years old, and she was, like, super slinky and sexy, and he had her running around the house like she was milk. Yeah, pissing in a litter box and all kind of crazy shit. Hey, guys, I just love the show, but I have a quick question. My girlfriend of two years has recently decided that she, in fact, is a cat. Now, I think this might be one of those people who, like, they think they're an animal. Do you know what I'm talking about? This is, like, hot right now. It's a trend for these kids to believe, truly believe, that they are an animal. They can morph into an animal. They can do this. Not for me to say whether or not you're an Actual cat, but. Oh, okay. She's now hissing. When she's mad, she naps in weird places curled up like a ball. And last week, she wanted to drink milk straight from a bowl on the floor. I saw you guys do this episode, and believe me, this is true. People do do this. Do I need to call a therapist, or do I just lean into it and buy her a scrat?

[Chris And Joy Odley]

Well, first of all, do you like cats?

[Brian Green]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. First of all, do you have a litter box? If you have a litter box, it's all good. Don't worry about it. Listen, milk is a lot less expensive than a fancy restaurant, so I'd say. I'd say lean into the things that are positive about this.

[Chris And Joy Odley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

If she's hissing it. I don't know. You like your back scratched? You like someone making muffins on your chest in the morning? Hey, listen. There you go. You got it. All right? And, you know, I guess it's cool.

[Chris And Joy Odley]

Dude, I'll do it for a little while.

[Brian Green]

But if all of a sudden. If all of a sudden she woke up and started acting like a cat, you probably want to get a therapist involved. But I'd let it roll for a few days, you know, see if there's some kind of weird sex you can have. That feels good. Yeah, it feels good. All right, let's go to a serious one. Yeah, I wouldn't worry about this too much, and you're not giving us a bunch of details, but if she, like, literally didn't just, like, flip a switch and become crazy cat lady overnight, then I just say, it's a mo. She's having a moment, she's into a fetish or whatever it is, and let her roll with it for a little while. If it's not harming anybody, then who cares? Although it is a little strange when your girlfriend goes, can you pour me some milk? Into a bowl and lapping it up. That's what my kids do. My kids are weird, though. Children are strange. All right. My partner never apologizes, even when they are clearly wrong. Okay, so Tammy says she loves the show. I've been with my partner for three years, and I'm starting to notice a pattern. They never apologize, even when it's obvious they have messed something up. They'll either double down, change the subject, or somehow make it my fault. I'm exhausted from having the same argument over and over. It never gets through. There's never an apology, even though there are situations where she has clearly been wrong all this time. Is this a red flag? Or am I being sensitive as she's telling me that I am? Well, Tammy.

[Chris And Joy Odley]

So she's gaslighting, too.

[Brian Green]

Yes, she's gaslighting. She's never apologizing. Listen, I have said this before on this show. The number one lesson I have learned about relationships and life in general. Know which hills to die on and which ones not to. Even when I'm right sometimes, or I feel that I'm strongly right, I let it go. I let it go and I say, okay, that's fine, because there's. I'm not going to be a right fighter. Right. Fighting leads to so many fucking arguments, it's not even funny. And so if it's a small. Yeah, it makes life harder. So if it's small shit, just leave it alone. Who fucking cares if it's big shit? Like, you're like, she's really in the wrong. Yeah, that's. That's a problem. And that is that, you know, you might have to go to therapy for that one. And this is not the place to get therapy, that's for sure. Chrissy. And I don't know shit from shinola, but I would say that, like, if she really never apologizes and she's doing things or saying things or arguing things that are clearly in the wrong, like, in, like, black and white reality, everyone would go, oh, yeah, you're in the right. She's in the wrong. And she just refuses to apologize. That's a certain kind of illness. It's called right fighting. And it drives me up a wall. Anybody who's a right fighter drives me up a wall. So, you know, I guess you got to just decide whether or not this is a big enough deal to you.

[Chris And Joy Odley]

Something you could live with.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. Something you can live with or something you can't. Oh, this is Janice. Janice says every single night my husband is. For the last two years, my husband starts our dinner conversation with. So today I was on cryptocurrencytrader.com. my husband has become a crypto bro, and I cannot take it. I haven't. I won't. And yet he won't stop. Last night, I caught him. I caught him trying to make NFTs out of some of our wedding photos. What? And he has become the person I despise the most. An uninformed. An uninformed moron. What would you do? Oh. So Astrid and I have had this conversation.

[Chris And Joy Odley]

You have?

[Brian Green]

No. Not about NFTs. No. Not about crypto. No. This is the argument that we have had, given the whole situation with love is Blind and then unmarried at first sight, and then a couple of other television shows that we either have in the background or we've watched together. There have been breakups, breakups due to political differences. Like, I don't think I could be with this person because this is what they believe. And. And the question that's always gone on in our mind is how in 2025. And then there's, like, specifically some people in our inner circle who have divided households, and they're, like, recently divided. Do you know what I'm saying? Yeah. Like, in this last election, one went one way, one went the other way, and now it's causing a bunch of drama. At least that's what I hear. It's causing a bunch of drama. And some people are really struggling how they wrap their heads around how this supposed idiot is living in our house. No matter what you think, the other side side, clearly everyone is very tribalistic right now. And how do you ignore what one side of the fence is doing supposedly to our country? No matter what side of the fence you are on, you probably demonize the other side for what they supposedly are doing to our country. And how do you have a marriage with that person where you got to interact with them every day and they clearly don't think the same way that you do. Can you do that? And I think the intention of the question is this is where she's going with it. Like, he's become this dude that I just dislike altogether. Like, kind of this amalgamation of all these, you know, kind of a lug nut, so to speak. Right. How do I deal with that? Get a divorce. That's what I got to say. That's my advice to you. Get a divorce. Call a divorce attorney. That's it. I don't know. I don't know how you do that in 2025. If it was me, I don't know that I could deal with having someone so diametrically opposed to everything that I think is right and good and live with them. I don't know. I don't know how you do that. You're a better woman than I. Yeah, I don't know.

[Chris And Joy Odley]

I mean, this is a. This is. We're talking about, like, getting crypto. So, I mean, I guess if you really love this person and you want to make this. This work, I guess you could maybe dip your toe into crypto a little bit, maybe kind of try to see it from their point of view, see what they find so intriguing about it. But if you don't really care for this Person. This is a good way. This is a good out.

[Brian Green]

This is a good out. This is a great out. You wait, he wasted my money on crypto, yes. But I'll share with you that I stripped some of the politics from this. But this goes deeper than just crypto. Crypto is like just kind of example. Okay, so that's why I kind of went off on a rant there. I probably should have added that at the beginning and not at the end. But, you know, you get what I'm saying is like, you know, you understand really, really hard. Listen, is the dick good? Because if the dick is good, maybe you just ignore some of it. Yeah, yeah, but you guys have been together for a long time. The dick can't be that good. You know what I'm saying? Like, eventually we all get used to the dick. I had a friend who's had. Same guy who said, you're at that age where you're scared of pussy. Used to say the following. Show me a hot girl and I'll show you a guy who's sick of fucking her. Right? Yeah. And never truer words have been said. And it replaced the girl with he. They, Them. Whatever it is, it's true. Show me a hot guy, I'll show you a girl who's sick of fucking him. Right. It's just the way that it goes eventually. And so, I don't know, you gotta just kind of.

[Chris And Joy Odley]

Well, for a woman even, it's. It's very emotional too. So tied to that person. It's not even just so physical. So I can see how that would be affecting many other parts of many.

[Brian Green]

Yes. Yeah. It's in your head. It's in your living room. It's at your dinner table. I don't know. And especially if you won't shut up about it. Yeah. Maybe you just say, listen, we don't believe the same thing. So let's not talk about it. Just talk about the bills.

[Chris And Joy Odley]

Can you pay them with the crypto you just bought?

[Brian Green]

That's it. Okay. My family's girlfriend is treating me like an outsider. I'm summarizing these so that we get a little teaser beforehand. I'm dating my. My. I've been dating my girlfriend for over a year. And her family still acts like I'm some guy she met yesterday. I try to be friendly. I offer my help at family events. I step in when I can to be there in certain situations where I feel I need to be there, but they barely acknowledge me. Meanwhile, her sister's boyfriend, who she's Been with for less than two months, is practically groomed for sainthood by the family. Should I say something to my girlfriend or just accept the fact that my family isn't my biggest fan yet? Well, it's not starting off great, bro.

[Chris And Joy Odley]

No, I was gonna say you gotta.

[Brian Green]

Find a new girlfriend. Sorry, gotta say it. You gotta find a new girlfriend.

[Chris And Joy Odley]

I can't believe that she also has not brought it up.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, this is like you guys have been together for a year and you haven't talked about this.

[Chris And Joy Odley]

Yeah, it seems like maybe she would even be like. Yeah, I'd noticed. There's a big difference.

[Brian Green]

Is she even your girlfriend or are you just showing up to your friend's random events and hoping that things turn out okay? Yeah, you gotta have conversation about stuff like this. You get. Should you mention something. You should have mentioned something, something the first time it happened. Absolutely. Gotta communicate about these kind of things. But if her family doesn't like you and she's involved with her family a lot, there is zero chance it's going to work out well in the long run. I'm sure there are certainly exceptions to that rule, but not that I've seen. Yeah, not that I've seen. Listen, I was married. I've been married twice. And you know this if you listen to the show. My first wife, I. I loved her immediate family. And I think for the most part, at least up until the very, very end, when of course, you have to pick a side. They liked me too. Right. But it was just three members of the family. Mother and the other two, the brother and the sister. And we seemed to all get along very well for a very long time.

[Chris And Joy Odley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

And then one side of her extended family, I really enjoyed their company. I felt like we also got along very well. I think they were would. At least I would hope they would say the same thing about me. But there was the other side of the family, like, you know, the other side of the extended family. They. It was clear I was not the chosen one. They did not want some scrappy, you know, in their minds, libtard, Even though I wasn't. But that's what they assumed about me. Libtard, poor, you know, wearing a chain around his wallet kind of guy. They wanted some French aristocracy, you know, they wanted some French aristocrat to come in and yeah, there's some preppy, went to the right schools, did the right things, you know, worked at the hedge fund kind of guy. And I just wasn't that dude. I was never going to be that dude. But it Was clear from the moment that I met them. And they even made that known, like out loud at family events. So I felt very uncomfortable around that side of the family. I was never good enough enough for this lady in their eyes, was my impression. And since they said it out loud, I'm pretty sure I was getting that one right on the nose. And that never sat well with me. And I'm not sure that if they we had stayed married 20 years in that that things would be great between us because I think I would feel very shitty about all of that, you know, just not fitting into their family like I think. I don't think it would have been a good feeling now. It gave me a complex and I still have that complex that day. Thanks. Thanks ex wifey and your extended family, you know who you are. I don't need to tell you, of course. I really hope that my ex wife isn't listening to the show, but she probably is. She probably is. You know, if you've got an ex boyfriend or girlfriend that does a podcast four days a week, you're probably going to tune in every once in a while too, just to find out. Just to say, yep, I made the right choice getting a divorce from that guy. I sure did. All right, let's do two more. One more, one more, one more. I adore my girlfriend, but he eats like a literal trash panda. He's hunched over the coffee table the other night gnawing on a rotisserie chicken like a caveman. He refuses to use napkins, instead wiping his hands on his own shirt or worse, sometimes the kitchen towel. Do I stage an intervention or just start feeding him on the porch? Okay, stop being silly. Your boyfriend doesn't have manners. Manners is something that gets taught to you as a child.

[Chris And Joy Odley]

How did he become your boyfriend?

[Brian Green]

Yeah, how did he become your boyfriend? Did you not notice that he was slopping up his food like an idiot? I mean, listen, young lady, you, manners are something that get bred into you at a very young age. And you, it's hard to teach an old dog new tricks, trust me. And I am beating my children over the side of their head with the manners thing because so many people in this day and age don't any respect. Manners, chivalry, none of it. And I'm sorry, I still believe in that kind of stuff. I think it makes you a well rounded human being that can adjust in any situation.

[Chris And Joy Odley]

Manners matter.

[Brian Green]

Manners do matter. And if your guy doesn't have manners and he's over the age of 20, it's going to be really hard for him to start picking them up now. Small things can change big and all of the stuff is not going to change at one time. So my advice to you, find a new, new boyfriend. That's all you gotta. That's all I gotta say.

[Chris And Joy Odley]

Definitely don't feed him from a trough or whatever she said.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, feed him outside. Okay. Just get a new boyfriend. Don't bother. Put him out on the porch. Don't put him out on the porch. Just don't bother having him around. Okay. All right. There you go.

[Chris And Joy Odley]

I do love those ass dcd. We gotta do more this second.

[Brian Green]

Well, I got more. I got more. So we can do more. I got lots more. Okay. Well, I'd like to thank. Well, I'm trying to adjust my glasses here.

[Chris And Joy Odley]

They look good.

[Brian Green]

Oh, thank you very much. Thank you very much. I'd like to thank our guest this week, Aaron Weber, one more time. He was great. And on a second listen to the show. I think he was really great on the show, actually. Aaron Weber's new 30 minute comedy special produced by Nate Bargazzi is available on YouTube links in the show notes. Go listen to the episode on Tuesday. He's really funny. He's a. He's just a good guy. He's also got some tour dates coming up so you can go to Aaron Weber.com and check him out. If he's coming into a town near you, go see him. He's one of these comics you're not going to pay $500 to go see. It's probably 30 bucks for a ticket. You can sit in the front row.

[Chris And Joy Odley]

Yeah, he's funny.

[Brian Green]

Get yourself a couple drinks and have a good day.

[Chris And Joy Odley]

Nashville, maybe look him up.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, he's at Z zanies a lot is what I've noticed. He's the zany's regular so that if you're there, go check him out. And the Nashville comedy fest is coming up here in a couple weeks as this is being released. So if you're up in Nashville, go see that. Go say hi to our good friend Veer Das. Tell him the commercial break said hello. He'll probably run from the stage. Who? Oh, those guys? Yeah. Okay. Okay. All right, thanks. I got a therapy session in a couple minutes. I'll talk to my therapist about it. Hey, listen, we did the best that we could given the circumstances. We were newbies and we're still newbies, but we haven't. We haven't gotten much better, according to some people on YouTube. I'll share that on tomorrow's episode. Oh yeah. Remind me to tell you about Kathleen Madigan and her rabid fans who dislike me with a passion.

[Chris And Joy Odley]

Wow.

[Brian Green]

Okay, I don't care. Whatever. I care, but I don't care. It's all too confusing. TCP podcast.com all the audio, all the video right there from one location. You can also get your free swag drop down menu on the contact us button says I want my free sticker. Give us your physical address and we'll send you a sticker. 212-433-3TCB 212-243-3822 questions, comments, concerns, content, ideas or leave us a voicemail at the commercial break on Instagram YouTube.com the commercial break for all the videos the same day they air here on the audio. Chrissy that's all I can do for today.

[Chris And Joy Odley]

I think so.

[Brian Green]

I love you.

[Karen Doubletree]

I love you.

[Brian Green]

Best to you and best to you out there in the podcast universe. Until next time Chrissy and I will say we do say and we must say goodbye. Sam. 2:30 in the morning.