
EP946: Bryan and Krissy review the Ultimate PUA Zoom staring Mystery, Ice White, Beckster and Zan Zan Perion. It's the Frankenstein PUA playing greatest set ever. Game, Set, Snatch!
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Oh no.
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Brian Green
On this episode of the commercial break.
Unknown Panelist
That's right, a little bit of everyone. You know, the best parts only because the timeline is limited.
Chris Hoadley
If I could Frankenstein us together, sew us together and make one big frame set, then we would be unstoppable. Just imagine Zahn's titillating appeal with Vexter's huge cock and my gamely looking legs. And then we wrap it all together with Ice White's one award winning personality. No vagina would be able to resist the temptation in any set or any frame. It would be the pinnacle of pussy.
Chrissy Hoadley
Games that match games that snatch Chrissy games.
Brian Green
The next episode of the commercial break starts now.
Chris Hoadley
2:30 in the morning. Ah yeah.
Brian Green
Cats and kittens. Welcome back to the commercial break. I'm Brian Green. This is my dear friend and the co host of this show, Chris and Joy Hoadley. Best to you Chris.
Chrissy Hoadley
Best to you Brian.
Chris Hoadley
Best to you out there in the
Brian Green
podcast and streaming universe. Cans out yams out baby. Summertime here in the studio. So Brian's got his freshly shaved legs out for all to see. Go to YouTube.com thecommercialbreak for all the sexy, sexy.
Chris Hoadley
All the.
Brian Green
What do you wanna call these? I don't know, I can't even lift them up off the chair. Like I'm having trouble with my own leg. The sexy pegs. No, pegs out, legs out, baby.
Chrissy Hoadley
I like yams.
Brian Green
I like yams. That's what my aunt used to call them. You got a nice pair of yams. My mom always said, brian, you've got some great looking legs. That's what she always used to tell me. I think in part to make me less self conscious about all the hair that was on my leg. But she used to say, you have some really good looking legs. And I also, one day I was like, really, Mom? Honestly? And she's like, honestly, they're like, if those legs were on a woman, you. And I was like, mom, those legs were on a woman. Thanks, mom.
Chrissy Hoadley
That's good to know.
Brian Green
Now I'll take it. Whatever. Well, I'm married. I'm happily married. I don't have to worry about, you know, who's looking at my legs anymore. And Zendaya is married, apparently.
Unknown Panelist
Oh, yeah.
Brian Green
Tom Holland and her tied the knot. It's official. One of her friends, one of her best friends said it on a podcast. There's been a. It's like an open secret that they've been married because no one's seen any pictures of them married.
Chrissy Hoadley
Yeah, that's what I've read little tidbits about. And Taylor Swift is getting married this weekend.
Brian Green
This weekend she's getting married, supposedly at the Madison Square Garden.
Chrissy Hoadley
Yep.
Brian Green
Which just takes. Yeah, that's low key. Takes a set of balls the size of Toledo. I mean, really, to rent out the Madison fucking Square Garden for your goddamn wedding. Obviously the only person in the world, she's like Unitarian, you know, there are no such thing as like universal pop stars anymore.
Unknown Panelist
Right.
Brian Green
Everything's siloed there. It's hard to reach across the aisles.
Chrissy Hoadley
Right.
Brian Green
Taylor Swift reaches across the aisles. She is a Whitney Houston, Michael Jackson level celebrity. And so she's one of the few, I think, that probably could do this. And it doesn't feel completely obnoxious, but it does seem a little bit obnoxious. How many people are you gonna have?
Chrissy Hoadley
I don't know. I was just reading a whole thing about it. Like a thousand guests, I guess.
Brian Green
A thousand guests. You could do that at your home in the Hamptons.
Chrissy Hoadley
Yeah. And then all the people that come with that, I guess, you know, for hair, makeup, and yada, yada.
Chris Hoadley
Okay.
Brian Green
Two or three thousand people, they're all gonna do their hair and makeup at the Madison Square Garden.
Chrissy Hoadley
I don't know. I don't know how it's gonna work.
Brian Green
I don't know either. And then not to have cameras there is, like, the douchier part of it.
Chrissy Hoadley
Everybody signed, like, an ironclad NDA is what I was reading.
Brian Green
Actually, I read the opposite. I read that the NDA does not have much teeth, but that they're asking you because they're all celebrities and everyone's friends. They're not putting together some, like, crazy NDA because apparently that might turn people away. They might be like, and if I ever say anything about it, then I'm going to get sued by Taylor Swift.
Chrissy Hoadley
Yeah.
Brian Green
So apparently there is no teeth to the NDA. They can't actually sue you if some. If you say something or something happens. So. But I mean, if. Listen, Taylor, Travis, it's been a public affair the entire time you're getting married at the Madison Square Garden. Put it on pay per view. Let everyone see it.
Chrissy Hoadley
Exactly.
Brian Green
And just let it happen. Let it be our version of Lady D and Charles.
Chris Hoadley
Exactly.
Chrissy Hoadley
I totally agree.
Brian Green
I think that there's no doubt this should have been handled differently. And unless, I mean, who knows, Maybe we all wake up to Instagram, it's all of a sudden. Or Tik Tok streaming this live. Or tonight, Disney plus puts up their, you know, Taylor and Travis tomorrow night. Who knows? But you would think that somebody would have said something about this being a live event at some point already.
Chris Hoadley
So. I don't know.
Brian Green
I don't know.
Chrissy Hoadley
I guess it makes sense, though, too, because you know how all those celebrities that get married outside always have the helicopters coming over.
Brian Green
Yeah.
Chrissy Hoadley
And getting the shots.
Chris Hoadley
I get it.
Brian Green
It's tough. It's tough. And you can't invite a thousand people and keep it a secret. Those two things do not live in the same universe. Keeping a secret with a thousand people, so.
Chris Hoadley
Well, okay.
Brian Green
Well, good luck to you, Travis.
Chrissy Hoadley
I'm happy for them.
Chris Hoadley
I rem.
Chrissy Hoadley
Years ago, when we were sitting here in the studio, it was just breaking that they were dating, and I said, I hope they make it.
Brian Green
I did, too. I said, I hope they make it. I said, it's going to be a tough thing to do because they're both celebrities. And the amount of celebrity that Taylor had at the time and Travis wasn't necessarily that well known. Well, now Travis is On, you know, every Rice Krispies commercial and every Diet Coke commercial and everything.
Chrissy Hoadley
His parents are everywhere.
Brian Green
His parents are everywhere. Those guys have his brothers everywhere. Those guys, those people in that orbit have made so much money because of Taylor Swift that if Travis ever strays from that relationship, he is an immense shithead.
Chrissy Hoadley
Oh, yeah.
Brian Green
Who is just as dumb as dirt. And I don't think he will, but I will say that I will give you the heads up now, Travis, do not stray one inch from that relationship like a fucking puppy dog. You'd be right next to her, and if she's rid of you, well, then let her file for divorce and you'll get half of it. But otherwise, you stay loyal like a puppy dog. Don't ever leave Taylor Swift. And listen, I. And also, you don't want sick the next six albums to be about.
Chrissy Hoadley
Well, that's true. And her fans to hate him.
Brian Green
Yeah, that's true. There's probably a lot more Taylor Swift fans than there ever will be, Travis Kelsey fans. But right now, they're all on the same team. So while you're in good spirits, you know, there's got to be a. I bet There's a prenup 7,000 pages long, probably. There's got to be. Oh, you know there is.
Chris Hoadley
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Brian Green
Taylor's not taking her multi billion dollar empire and just handing it to someone she's getting married to. That. It probably was a long engagement because they needed to negotiate a preempt. And I bet. How do you do that? Like, how do you live in the same house and then have your attorneys, like, negotiating a preump? That's got to be an alternate universe that you're living in.
Chrissy Hoadley
Yeah, yeah, I know. I'm. My wheels are turning just thinking about it. I mean, hopefully they just say, hey, let the attorneys sort it out. Let's not even talk about it.
Brian Green
Yeah, but you got to talk about it. At some point, your attorney's gonna call you. You know, attorneys are like that. They're like, yeah, you know, she doesn't want to give you the house in the Hamptons, you know? And he says, well, you know, okay, give her the house in the Hamptons. And then the attorney calls back and
Chrissy Hoadley
says, yeah, well, hopefully, though, it would be whatever they came to the table with, they would leave with.
Brian Green
You know, typically, that's how it goes.
Listener Caller
Yes.
Chris Hoadley
Yeah.
Brian Green
With celebrities and premiums is like whatever you came into the relationship with, you leave anything that was created inside the relationship. 50, 50 or 60. 40 or whatever the. The percentage is. But you know, I know I have a friend. He said
Unknown Panelist
he.
Brian Green
He's well to do, and he's been through two divorces, and he's about to get married a third time. And after the second divorce, in which that relationship, he created a lot of wealth, he went to his business partner. Now, mind you, this is a very. There's a lot of money at stake here, right? And he says to his business partner, I want you to write up a draft operating agreement clause that says that if I get married again, I lose all rights, all my shares. The second I say I do.
Chrissy Hoadley
Really?
Brian Green
Yes. And the guy goes, why would I do that? And he goes, so I never get married again.
Chrissy Hoadley
And now he's getting married again.
Brian Green
Now he's getting married again. Yeah, but, I mean, obviously they didn't do. No, but I don't even know if that, you know, why. Why would you do that? But, you know, divorce is nasty. It's a contentious thing. I was just telling the story on my Instagram, which is currently going viral, about a friend that, you know, divorces, they can be particularly gross. And we all. We all know someone who's been through one that's just been a heated, fiery affair where all the emotions run hot and people choose sides, and there's a lot of friction. And there's a story in my own universe like that. There's a number of stories like that, but there's one in particular that I was thinking of. Two Venezuelan people who were married. They created children, they had some success together, and then things soured, and they got a divorce. And the divorce was very contentious, and there were children involved, and it got nasty. But a couple years later, everyone moved on, like, you know, so that she. She got remarried. The lady that I know got remarried to another Venezuelan man.
Chris Hoadley
And then
Brian Green
someone saying that they can't hear anything. Is that true? You can't hear anything? Maybe this is why people aren't paying attention to us right now. You can't hear anything. Oh, okay. Can you hear us now? This is why people are coming in and out of this live. Can you hear us now? Oh, my gosh. I'm so sorry about that. Well, we just did an entire episode where no one was listening to us.
Chris Hoadley
That's.
Brian Green
I was wondering why no one was here today. And I kept seeing people come in and out, and I'm like, I wonder if we're just boring today, which is probably true. Can you hear us now?
Chrissy Hoadley
They saw your leg.
Brian Green
Yeah, I can't tell who that is.
Unknown Panelist
That.
Brian Green
Shannon? Shannon, can you hear Us now, Shannon. Okay, let me know. And I'm so sorry. I thought it was because of my legs that people were going in and out.
Chris Hoadley
We had like.
Brian Green
I don't get this. Anyway, okay, let's see if we fix the sound issue on the stream. I apologize about that. So this lady gets remarried to another Venezuelan man. This is like years after she had had this. This contentious divorce. Okay, all right, good. Now we. Everybody can hear us. The years after they had had this contentious divorce. And then the guy, the ex husband, fell on hard times. So what did the. The ex wife, the lady I know, and her new husband, two Venezuelan people. What did they do? They reached out to this guy and said, come live with us until you can get back on your feet. He was like going through like a really bad time. It is in immense, immense. I don't even know how to describe it. Like a token of humanity that you would help someone in their time of need, even though you had been through this really stressful, really friction filled thing. And, and I'm so humbled by the fact that Venezuelans act like that.
Unknown Panelist
Right.
Brian Green
But that's not typically how it goes. And when you have 150 lawyers on your team, you know, if those two ever get divorced, it's going to be a showdown. It's going to be a showdown at the okay Corral. That's why prenups are in place is so there isn't that drama afterwards. But listen, we all know there's going to be drama if they get divorced.
Chrissy Hoadley
Well, yeah.
Brian Green
I mean, what's the over under.
Chrissy Hoadley
Look at Brad and Angelina. I mean their divorce lasted for like 10 years. A long time.
Brian Green
Yeah, 10 years. But they had 30 children and, and that.
Chrissy Hoadley
And the vineyard.
Brian Green
The vineyard. The vineyard is the. Is the bone of contention.
Chrissy Hoadley
It was. Yeah. Because she sold her half to like a oligarch or something.
Brian Green
Yeah, yeah. To like a big vineyard. Yeah, like a. A dude. Yeah, A guy that Brad didn't want to be in business with. And so he sued her saying she didn't have the right to sell it to someone without his approval. And then a whole thing. But it's a fucking vineyard. Brad, give it up. He quit drinking anyways. You don't need to pay you.
Chrissy Hoadley
Something bad went down with that whole thing. I mean, all the kids have changed their last name.
Brian Green
They don't want anything to do with him. Yeah, well, because he's on an airplane throwing wine glasses around it.
Chrissy Hoadley
Well, that was that incident. Yeah. And then I guess maybe just all
Brian Green
the ensuing years of the divorce I think my. Take, my read on this.
Chrissy Hoadley
They were married for so long. Why did they get married?
Brian Green
They were together for a long time. They get married, and then four years later, they're divorced. Why? Number one. Number two, you know, listen, Angelina has always seemed to me to be first. First of all, a good mother.
Chrissy Hoadley
Humanitarian.
Brian Green
Yeah, humanitarian. A very. A big empath. But third of all, driven by sensitivities.
Chris Hoadley
Right.
Brian Green
I mean, she dated Billy Bob Thornton. That was like, the weirdest relationship in the history of relationships. He's one of. He's a. An interesting dude. Brilliant actor, but an interesting dude. And she just seems prone sometimes to. I want to be careful about how I say this because I'm not talking about, like, women in general. Don't take this as a generality about women, but, like, driven to drama sometimes. Right. But Brad also, I think, is a hard charging, hard partying actor type who gets into character and doesn't leave that character. And. And I also think he's part of the big boys club, the George Clooney, Matt Damon, you know, Leonardo DiCaprio. And I think they party hard. I think they love hard, I think they fight hard. I think all those things. So you add in both of those very sensitive people into a mix, and then you throw alcohol and possibly drugs into it. It's a recipe for disaster. Especially when there's children involved.
Chrissy Hoadley
Yeah.
Brian Green
And then you're flying these private planes back and forth to Italy or whatever you're doing. You're the. There's no stability for the children. They're all. Just all over the place, you know, going all over the world. There's a big mix of different kinds of children. They're trying to find their own place in their own pack.
Unknown Panelist
It's.
Brian Green
It probably has the one.
Chrissy Hoadley
One of the daughters was just in. Just graduated from college here in Atlanta.
Brian Green
Georgia Tech.
Chrissy Hoadley
No, she was at an hbcu. I can't remember which one it was, but.
Brian Green
Spelman. Spelman, yep. Spellman.
Unknown Panelist
Yep.
Brian Green
Spellman or Spelman?
Chrissy Hoadley
Spellman.
Brian Green
Spellman. Yeah.
Chrissy Hoadley
Is either Spelman or Morehouse. I can't remember.
Brian Green
Either one of those is a good college to go to. Whichever one. Yeah. I mean. And so it's probably just like a. A bit of a shit show, I would imagine, in my mind. Like, when I think about Brad and Angelina in my head when I'm laying
Chris Hoadley
in bed at night and I'm ruminating,
Brian Green
I'm ruminating about Brad and Angie, you know, I imagine a drunk Brad, you know, storming around a big private plane with a bunch of children who are just children, just being children and him getting mad. And, you know, there's Angelina, has some attitude or she's giving him some shit because of something that he did. Like, you know, being hammered around the children 24 hours a day.
Chrissy Hoadley
Yeah.
Brian Green
And they're just yelling and screaming and Brad throws a glass and, you know, it all goes to hell in a hand basket. But you can't behave like that around children. You just can't. No, you gotta. If you're gonna drink, you gotta hold your liquor around kids, especially, because they see that and it affects them for a lifetime. And now none of them want anything to do with you. And can you imagine how Brad must feel? He probably feels like, you know, I don't know if, you know, if I'm Brad. I'm like, yeah, okay, well, kids don't like me, but at least I don't have to worry about them anymore.
Chris Hoadley
You know what I'm saying?
Brian Green
At least, like, now I can go out drinking with my friends. At least now I can have the private plane to myself.
Chris Hoadley
Do you know what I'm saying?
Listener Caller
All right.
Brian Green
Okay. Well, he lives a different life than I do. It's not. I would never leave my children for alcohol now. Unless.
Chris Hoadley
Unless.
Brian Green
Unless what? No, I wouldn't leave for alcohol. Drugs, probably. Alcohol, never drugs.
Chrissy Hoadley
You draw the line at alcohol.
Brian Green
I draw the line at booze, but then again, I don't have a vineyard I'm fighting over. Do you know what I'm saying? Like, there's no private plane for me to go running around it and doing this stuff. Delta comfort bulkhead seat is as close as I'm getting. I detest the guy who's drinking wine on a plane.
Chris Hoadley
Actually, Angelina, I'm with you on this.
Brian Green
Fuck the guys that were drinking wine on an airplane. That's a shitty thing to do. That's a douchebag thing. The more I thought about that guy on my flight, he really got. Yeah, he really did. And I hope I never see him again. Sometimes I see the same flight attendants.
Chrissy Hoadley
Oh, yeah.
Brian Green
On the flight. I don't think they know who the fuck I am, but sometimes I see the same ones and I just feel for them because they got to deal
Chrissy Hoadley
with a lot of.
Chris Hoadley
God, you know?
Brian Green
On the plane the other day, for the first time, I have never seen this happen on one flight. I've taken probably hundreds in my lifetime. The pilot, after everybody boarded the plane, as they were, like, locking the doors and getting ready and stuff, the pilot came out and. And because I was in the first row, he came out, stood right next to the first row with the microphone, was talking to everybody. He was making jokes. He was having a good time. He did a whole little show. He's like, any, we have any first time flyers here, just raise your hands and like, you know, I think there's a couple people in the back that raise their hand. He's like, great, we got some shrag. We got some wings for you. He's like, I'm wearing mine. It's my first flight too. And he said, you know, do we have any nervous flyers? Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And, you know, I think a couple people raised their hand. He's like, don't worry about it. He's like, you know, when the plane goes up and down like this, it doesn't mean we're going to fall out of the sky. It just means we're more likely to get into an accident.
Chris Hoadley
No, I'm just kidding, everybody.
Chrissy Hoadley
I wonder if he came over from Southwest, because Southwest used to have the jokey stuff. I don't fly them anymore. Yeah, but when I lived in Nashville, they had a presence there, so I would fly them.
Brian Green
No, he was, you know, he seemed like a veteran Delta. I think that we had a first time Delta pilot in the co captain's chair who's flying the plane because he said, we've got a great new pilot with us, you know, great pilot, new with Delta that's here taking over the wheel today. I'll be flying with him. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. When we got to the gate, he overshot the gangway. And so it took a good 15 minutes. Because you can't just like back up a plane. Right?
Chrissy Hoadley
Right.
Brian Green
They don't have the things waiting for you if you're not getting pulled out again. So there was no. There's no trailer there or whatever you call it. There's no, you know, ramp Jack, whatever they call it. And so the.
Chris Hoadley
The people had to.
Brian Green
You should have seen the dance they were doing with that gangway. It was like moving all over the place to try and angle it in. And then when we were leaving, somebody, the pilot goes, sorry, that took a minute first time parking. And the guy in the pilot was like, it's okay. We got there safe. That's all that matters. All right, let's do this. Let's take a short break, and when we return, Zon Perignon. Oh, Zon Perignon. Not to be confused with Don Parignan.
Chrissy Hoadley
Dom.
Brian Green
Dom. Did I say Don? Did I say Don Paranon? Don was a great guy, he made some great champagne.
Chrissy Hoadley
Donnie P. Yes.
Brian Green
And if you're here and you're wondering why my legs are out, my cans are on. Cans out.
Chris Hoadley
Yam's out, baby.
Brian Green
That's it. Dom Zahn, Perignon and mystery, the two pickup artists we have talked about ad nauseam here on the show, managed to get on a zoom phone call together with two other douchebag pickup artists to 70 people. 70 views so far. It's a year end. 70 views on YouTube. That's twice as much as we get on YouTube. So I guess I shouldn't complain. They're on a zoom phone call. They're. They're on the zoom together. They're answering some questions from the audience. I'd love to share some of that with you because I think it's important information we all need to know. So let's puas unite. Puas unite.
Chris Hoadley
Like Power Ranger. One small limp dick power, you know?
Brian Green
Power.
Chris Hoadley
Puas unite. All right. Not a wet vagina in the house. All right, we'll be back.
Rachel (Voice of God)
Let me do something Brian has never done. Be brief. Follow us on Instagram at the commercial break. Text or call us 212-4333, tcb. That's 212-433-3822. Visit our website tcbpodcast.com for all the audio, video and your free sticker. Then watch all the videos@YouTube.com thecommercialbreak and finally share the show. It's the best gift you could give a few aging podcasters. See, Brian, that really wasn't that difficult now was it? You're welcome.
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Brian Green
This power, this walk, this pose, this strut, this look, this talk.
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Unknown Panelist
Boss. Boss.
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Brian Green
Sings a pet insurance customer review.
Listener Caller
My new puppy swallowed a bone. Still a good boy though. And boy, was I glad that I had lima name. I was paid back quickly and efficiently. Everyone was so nice. Get this pet in
Brian Green
and get a quote@lemonade.com pet
Listener Caller
just a guy who rans. Not funny at all. The co host is asleep. She's pretty dark. People like the show why are they on the charts? What's the guy talking about? I should have a student stat. TCB is terrible. This show is fucking bad. I'd like to punch Ryan's mouth. This podcast is kinda sad. Is this what we think is funny? Now how do I turn it off? My ears are saying ow. Stop laughing at yourself. Are these two making sense? At least I didn't pay him deaf. In my defense. PCB is terrible. That is being kind. Both the hosts are idiots. They left the bunny behind. What is this show about? It's offensive to my soul. Brian is a hack. These two aren't funny and so old. Why all the hype? How did this get made? So many episodes, none of which are great. TCB is terrible. Worst show you could do. TCB is terrible. Worst to you.
Chrissy Hoadley
Worst to you.
Brian Green
Go, girls.
Chris Hoadley
All right.
Brian Green
Just watching some videos on the villages. Keeping up with all the comings and goings of all our good friends down at the villages. It's one big fucking party.
Chris Hoadley
Chrissy.
Unknown Panelist
No.
Brian Green
Not a fucking care in the world. Not a fucking care in the world. You've fucked the seven generations under you by completely ram shocking the rest of the earth. You know, capitalism run amok and. And now put in the installed a king to make sure it protects all your tax brackets. And now you're down at the villages doing drugs all day and partying all night.
Chris Hoadley
I love it. I love it for you.
Brian Green
Congratulations, white people. You've done a great job.
Chris Hoadley
All right.
Brian Green
Okay, so Zan Perignon and Mystery are two pickup artists. Chrissy, in case you haven't. In case you can't remember a year back, so when last time we did one of these videos we've been talking about. Zahn is a particularly interesting character. To me, Zahn is more interesting than Mystery because Mystery is just a douche. You know, he's a dou. But Zahn is kind of like a. Seems like a little bit down on himself character. For a guy who has such little self confidence to call himself a pickup artist is a little strange. But let's get into it. The two of them, three of them, four of them. There's four of them on a Zoom and they are taking live questions from the audience. Here is one of them.
Unknown Panelist
Your story of when another person on this panel showed some highly impressive pickup and seduction skills.
Brian Green
So share. So that they want to do is there's four pickup artists on this Zoom and they want each one of them to share a story about how another person on the Zoom was, you know, absolutely top of their Game. Just like last night in the USA soccer game. Top of their game. Going for it. And so I cannot wait to hear these stories. They're going to be great. Let's get into it. Chris, you're going to learn something here.
Chris Hoadley
I've seen do all the.
Brian Green
Does mystery look as bloated as any man has ever looked?
Chrissy Hoadley
Yeah, he's not looking good. Is that.
Brian Green
That's Zahn. That's Zahn. He looks terrible.
Chrissy Hoadley
Yeah, that's ice white.
Brian Green
That's ice white. Come on. You don't know ice white.
Chris Hoadley
It's like Vanilla Ice.
Brian Green
Vanilla ice white.
Unknown Panelist
Hmm.
Brian Green
Look at him. First of all, he's never without a cigarette. It's 20, 26. The guy's chain smoking. Those glasses look like he's about to go skydiving.
Chrissy Hoadley
They do.
Brian Green
You know the guys that do indoor skydiving?
Chrissy Hoadley
Yeah, we did that.
Chris Hoadley
I know.
Brian Green
Glasses we got.
Unknown Panelist
I've seen some game. All of you.
Brian Green
How much time. And those veneers are terrible. Yellow and stained and what is that jacket? I bet it smells like semen and cat hair.
Mystery (Pickup Artist)
I've already talked about it.
Brian Green
I've already talked about it.
Chrissy Hoadley
Dexter.
Brian Green
Don't you remember? My name's Bexter.
Unknown Panelist
Well ablaze. You had your three way makeout on the beach in Spain.
Chris Hoadley
Three way make out on the beach of space.
Chrissy Hoadley
Did he call somebody Blaze?
Chris Hoadley
He called someone Blaze. I think it's bad.
Brian Green
I think it's ice white as Blaze. Three way makeout on the beach in Spain. I have done more exciting things on a Tuesday. It's not okay. You made out with two girls at the same time.
Chris Hoadley
I got kicked out of a bedroom
Brian Green
with two girls at the same time.
Chrissy Hoadley
You did.
Chris Hoadley
That's right.
Brian Green
But at least I, you know.
Unknown Panelist
Well, yeah, four way. There were three girls, so it would be.
Chris Hoadley
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Make sure we count it correctly.
LifeLock Advertiser
It's four.
Chris Hoadley
Four way make out. All four of us making out at the same time.
Brian Green
I had two fingers in my own
Chris Hoadley
ass and they were giving me a
Brian Green
hand job while I was sticking my
Chris Hoadley
toes up their ass.
Brian Green
It was awesome. Chrissy.
Unknown Panelist
Four way make out.
Right?
Me plus three girls.
Brian Green
Wow.
Unknown Panelist
Yeah.
Dexter is arguably.
Chrissy Hoadley
What was the original question?
Brian Green
The original question was name a time when you saw another person on the panel.
Rachel (Voice of God)
Panel?
Brian Green
They're not on a panel. They're all in their closets hiding from their wives who hate their jobs. Their wives never go anywhere with them because they're like, I don't want to be seen in public with you. Name a time when they were at the top of their game when you saw them. Just like at the absolute pinnacle of douche.
Unknown Panelist
Greatest pua I've seen in field. If only he'd follow up on the girls he gets. Wow.
That's a good. That's a good wow.
Brian Green
He said Zahn's probably the best.
Chris Hoadley
That's a good endorsement.
Unknown Panelist
Wow.
Chris Hoadley
I just want to point out that my newest book is for sale.
Brian Green
This is called Loneliness in Canada Endorsement, man.
Unknown Panelist
Who's the second best?
Brian Green
It's me. It's me.
Rachel (Voice of God)
It's me.
Chrissy Hoadley
They're just gonna sit around.
Chris Hoadley
They're gonna rank each other.
Listener Caller
Yeah.
Brian Green
The only thing these guys pick up is each other.
Unknown Panelist
And I haven't seen you ice, but you have a girlfriend who I have seen. Good for you. I mean, a wife, rather, who I have seen. So good for you.
Brian Green
How proud she must be of all of your accomplishments in the world of pickup artistry. You're now in an elite panel.
Chrissy Hoadley
The closet panel.
Chris Hoadley
Yeah, an elite panel of broom closet
Unknown Panelist
zoomers and zen watching you game where. Where you are titillated by her, which I've seen, you know? In other words, you were in front of the right set.
Chris Hoadley
In front of the right set.
Chrissy Hoadley
What?
Chris Hoadley
When you're in a room full of sex workers and you've got that gold credit amex out. Oh, you're titillated.
Unknown Panelist
You rap. You have frames that you set, and the frames you believe because you're telling women how you view the world.
Mystery (Pickup Artist)
Wow.
Chris Hoadley
I view the world is on the
Chrissy Hoadley
one that lives in Transylvania or whatever. Yes, I do.
Chris Hoadley
I live in Yugoslavia, and I made. I wrote two books.
Brian Green
One called I almost died at my own hand, and one's called I Soon
Chris Hoadley
Will Die at My Own Hand.
Unknown Panelist
Not just the frame. It's your beliefs, and they fall into your frames.
Brian Green
Yeah, that's true. That's true, brother. Yeah. I fall right into my frames in my sets. When I. When girls are falling into my frames in my sets, there's nothing like it.
Chris Hoadley
Quite frankly.
Brian Green
It's a sight to behold when I'm
Chris Hoadley
in front of the right set and
Brian Green
I have my frames and I'm believing everything then really.
Chris Hoadley
I mean, I'm a hundred for a hundred, Chrissy, one hundred for a hundred. And I have no clue what we're talking about, but I am framing and
Brian Green
setting as we speak.
Unknown Panelist
So these beliefs.
Mystery (Pickup Artist)
Wow.
Unknown Panelist
With a big smile on their face. So here's the commonality that you all share.
Chris Hoadley
Oh, choose your words carefully now. Everyone's waiting for the next word.
Unknown Panelist
Breathlessly, you all make your women laugh. Yeah, you all are comfortable with them. You're cognizant of their comfort levels. Right. And you make your women laugh.
Brian Green
Speaking of women, does it just me or does mystery look like a 70 year old woman?
Chris Hoadley
He has lost any form of a man.
Brian Green
He just looks like an old woman.
Chrissy Hoadley
Yeah, he does.
Unknown Panelist
All the way to the bedroom. I.
Brian Green
How do you know that make them laugh?
Chrissy Hoadley
All the way to the bedroom.
Brian Green
How do you do that?
Unknown Panelist
To take parts of all of you and incorporate it into my game.
Chris Hoadley
Don, I'd take your dick
Chrissy Hoadley
I jewelry.
Chris Hoadley
I'd take your wife. Bexter, I'm not sure what I'd take from you, quite frankly. I don't like you very much. I rank you five on our, on our panel here. But Vanilla Ice White, you've got a beard that no one can resist.
Brian Green
Let's be honest, you do have some Cheeto dust in there, but that's okay.
Unknown Panelist
So my game has improved by watching you guys work. I've seen you all work in field and, and it's been work in field.
Brian Green
Oh my God. Guys, you've taken the most. Oh, you've taken the most exciting part of single life, which is the moment that you get somewhere and you see someone that you're attracted to, whether that be a party or, or through a friend or at a bar or on the street or at a grocery store or, or in your case, you know, someone carrying groceries. Yeah, your neighbor. Whatever it is, you've taken the most and you have, have made it the most mundane. Sounding scientific. It's like an apparatus. It's not like that at all. And I think you're just making it something that it never, it never should be, never is. And then repackaging it and selling it as if by following the steps you'll create the magic. And that is never going to happen. It's not a set or a frame or a. I don't even know what these guys. The terminology is just beyond me.
Unknown Panelist
Obviously a pleasure.
Mystery (Pickup Artist)
Mixed Venusian arts.
Unknown Panelist
That's right.
Chris Hoadley
What a little bit of. Let's go back and see if we
Brian Green
can understand what that was.
Chris Hoadley
Okay.
Brian Green
I don't know. I don't. I didn't understand it either. Let's see.
Mystery (Pickup Artist)
Mixed Venusian arts.
Chrissy Hoadley
Venusian art.
Unknown Panelist
That's right. A little bit of everyone, you know, the best parts only because the timeline is limited.
Chris Hoadley
If I could Frankenstein us together, sew us together and make one big frame set, then we would be unstoppable. Just imagine Zahn's titillating appeal with Bexter's huge cock and my gamely looking legs. And then we wrap it all together with Ice White's one award winning personality. No vagina would be able to resist the temptation in any set or any frame. It would be the pinnacle of pussy.
Chrissy Hoadley
Games that match games that snatch Chrissy
Chris Hoadley
games match the positively pinnacle of pussy here on this call.
Chrissy Hoadley
Oh, God.
Unknown Panelist
Otherwise I use all of it, you know?
Mystery (Pickup Artist)
Indeed.
Chris Hoadley
Wow.
Chrissy Hoadley
Who keeps going wow?
Chris Hoadley
All of them do. They're like neat. He said neat.
Brian Green
Neat.
Chris Hoadley
And you want me to believe you get laid on a regular basis?
Unknown Panelist
You never stop Learning, huh? Remember 20 years ago? We had Mysteries Lounge back in the day, Remember?
Chris Hoadley
Remember? I was happy back then. I had money and a wife. Yeah.
Unknown Panelist
Yes, sir. That was cool. I owned my own.
And it's gone. It's gone.
Brian Green
All that content.
Mystery (Pickup Artist)
We now have one on school though.
Chris Hoadley
That guy Bexter. Could you shut the fuck up for a moment? Who invited Bexter?
Chrissy Hoadley
He's not even in the frame all the way.
Chris Hoadley
I know, he's like halfway out. He's like, tell him finish it off.
Mystery (Pickup Artist)
Wow.
Chris Hoadley
Who the fuck invited Bexta? I told you no, Bexter. This guy's a real asshole. He's hushing my vibe.
Chrissy Hoadley
He's not adding anything.
Unknown Panelist
No, it's called Attraction Unleashed.
Thumbtack Advertiser
Ah,
Chris Hoadley
fantastic. A name like no other.
Chrissy Hoadley
Attraction at least.
Chris Hoadley
Attraction Unleashed.
Chrissy Hoadley
What were they saying? Wait, were they saying that they used to have Mysteries Lounge?
Chris Hoadley
Yes, but I don't have it anymore. I went bankrupt. Yeah. Got foreclosed on. But now we have Attraction Unleashed.
Chrissy Hoadley
Yes.
Chris Hoadley
And we do it here on Zoom. I'm in the bag of the grocery store. I work. Taking a smoke break.
Chrissy Hoadley
Oh, my God.
Chris Hoadley
By the way, ground round premium at the deli counter. $1.99 a pound. Come see me at Chuck Smurling's World of Pickup Artist Groceries.
Mystery (Pickup Artist)
Wow.
Unknown Panelist
You should join it.
Chris Hoadley
Wow, wow, wow.
Unknown Panelist
I would totally enjoy it.
Yeah. It's somewhere to get your thoughts back into pickup. You know, if you have a question that needs answering, there's hundreds of guys with answers for you in that forum.
Chrissy Hoadley
Hundreds?
Chris Hoadley
Hundreds.
Chrissy Hoadley
They're all hanging out together.
Chris Hoadley
It's just Bexter with different usernames. Fucking Bexter.
Chrissy Hoadley
I thought I came fast. That's why he's half out of the frame.
Chris Hoadley
Yeah, that's right. It's all AI Bexter. He's up my lounge and now he's up my artist unleash or whatever the you call it.
Chrissy Hoadley
Attraction.
Chris Hoadley
Yes.
Chrissy Hoadley
Oh, my God.
Brian Green
Mystery. You're needed at the loading dock.
Chrissy Hoadley
Mystery.
Chris Hoadley
Sorry, guys, but check me out on my next zoom phone call. 6:30 when I get my legally required 30 minutes. Canadian law, you know.
Unknown Panelist
Here's a memorable one for you. When we were in Barcelona, same place that I did the four way makeout, right?
Chris Hoadley
Hey, Blaze, no one asked you. The fuck are you doing? I'm on a roll here. I'm blowing smoke up everybody's ass without actual words and now you want to go telling stories.
Unknown Panelist
There was a documentary crew there filming, and I'm not going to name the documentary because I don't think, all in all, we're a big fan of it because they cut out all the best bits, right? We thought it was going to be a balanced documentary. They were going to show infield footage. We had women's side.
Chris Hoadley
It was called the Jinx.
Chrissy Hoadley
Oh, my God. Wait, so there was a documentary crew filming the pickup artist?
Chris Hoadley
Yeah, I think I.
Chrissy Hoadley
But they don't like it now.
Chris Hoadley
They don't like it.
Brian Green
No, I actually think it was. Yes, I think it was Vice magazine who did this, if I'm not mistaken. Yeah, good for Vice. I. I actually now work with some of those guys. Yeah, good for you.
Unknown Panelist
Disclosures, agreeing to be on camera and so forth. Right. Mystery. Met a woman and his girlfriend at the time tolerated, you know that he needed to demo for the camera, right? That's kind of what we were doing. We were demonstrating for the camera. We also had.
Chrissy Hoadley
I don't like demonstrating actual in field, you know, things while also getting the women to sign off on the documentary on a documentary.
Chris Hoadley
You know what makes life a little bit easier when you're picking up women? A crew of cameras following you. So I said to my then girlfriend, I said, hey, I know we both got a bad case of chlamydia and the hotel didn't work out. Wasn't exactly what we expected. But this documentary film crew back here wants you to sign an NDA. And I'm gonna go demo sets and frames for my brand new. For my brand new idea, Attraction Unleashed.
Chrissy Hoadley
Whoa.
Listener Caller
Wow. Wow.
Brian Green
All right, we're having too much fun.
Chris Hoadley
We'll be back.
Brian Green
Let's take a break and then we'll be back. I'm gonna get back into. I'll get back into character.
Chris Hoadley
After these commercial messages. After these messages, we'll be right back. Isn't that how it went?
Mystery (Pickup Artist)
Yeah.
Chrissy Hoadley
After these messages.
Chris Hoadley
We'll be right back.
Rachel (Voice of God)
Hey, it's Rachel, your new voice of God here on tcb. And just like you, I'm wondering just how much longer this podcast can continue. Let's all rejoice that another episode has made it to your ears. And I'll rejoice that my check is in the mail. Speaking of mail, get your free TCB sticker in the mail by going to tcbpodcast.com and visiting the Contact Us page. You can also find the entire commercial break library audio and video, just in case you want to look at chrissy@tcbpodcast.com. want your voice to be on an episode of the show? Leave us a message at 212-4333, TCB. That's 212433, 3822. Tell us how much you love us and we'll be sure to let the world know on a future episode. Or you could make fun of us. That'd be fine, too. We might not air that, but maybe. Oh, and if you're shy, that's okay. Just send a text. We'll respond. Now. I'm gonna go check the mailbox for payment while you check out our sponsors. And then we'll return to this episode of the Commercial Break.
Listener Caller
I've been putting in the work I've been working out hard I've been trying my best to make it this far I've been driving so fast I've been living so tough I've been waxing my balls Will it ever be enough? Why won't you look at my body? Why do you cheat on me? Don't you love my money? All my san on sweets I'm such a lonely Frankie B. I've seen a lot of action I've been around the world But I just can't find a lady who wants to be my girl I've been getting new hair plucks I've never been so tan I'm living with my daughter eating tuna from a can why won't you look at my body? Why do your friends hate me? Don't I impress you, honey? With me, my san I'm Swee. I'm such a lonely Frankie babe. I know we could be lovers I know I'm just your type why don't you come to my place? I'll touch your face Please, girl, swipe right.
Chris Hoadley
All right, back to action.
Unknown Panelist
Nice one.
Chris Hoadley
Can you guys share a story of
Brian Green
when another person on this channel. Oh.
Unknown Panelist
Showed some.
Brian Green
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
Unknown Panelist
Mystery. Met a woman and.
Brian Green
Okay, we're back with Zahn in the in the elite panel of pick about
Chris Hoadley
so far them blowing smoke up each other's asses.
Chrissy Hoadley
There's been no real telling stories.
Brian Green
Yeah, there's no point to the video.
Chris Hoadley
Actually.
Unknown Panelist
His girlfriend at the time tolerated, you know, that he needed to demo for the camera. Right. That's kind of what we were doing. We were demonstrating for the camera. We also had, I don't know, eight students, 10 students, all of them paying.
Chris Hoadley
Also, I'll be at the. I'll be at the Crab Apple Auditorium playing Lincoln in the smash hit play Lincoln versus Vampires.
Chrissy Hoadley
He does have quite the beard.
Chris Hoadley
Four score and many years ago, thousands
Unknown Panelist
of dollars each there watching Mystery. I was there. Bexter was there. And there's a film crew.
Chris Hoadley
Fucking Baxter.
Unknown Panelist
And Mystery meets this woman. Beautiful, super attractive woman. I actually spoke with her at one point as well.
Chris Hoadley
I was first.
Listener Caller
Yeah, I actually, I, I.
Unknown Panelist
Extremely attractive, extremely smart. And within a matter of 10 minutes, 15 minutes, mystery had her on a couch and he was kissing her and he was conversing with her, and her face was lit up.
Brian Green
Oh, my God.
Chrissy Hoadley
Oh, my God.
Chris Hoadley
That's not at all how it happened.
Brian Green
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Chris Hoadley
So hold on. We're at the beach in Barcelona. Just want to get this story straight. We're at the beach in Barcelona.
Brian Green
Documentary crew following you around with ND Ready to sign up? Yes.
Chris Hoadley
Students, people paid thousands of dollars. Girlfriend on the side with a raging case of herpes. Everyone's having a good time, and then out of nowhere, the documentary crew rolls up a couch, And Mystery and this woman fall madly in love in just a few seconds of conversing. I actually talked to her first.
Brian Green
It's my idea.
Chris Hoadley
I told Mystery, let's get a couch. We'll put you down on it. You can kiss and make up.
Brian Green
Her light and face a light up.
Chris Hoadley
In between words. They were swabbing spit like the girl on 90 Day Fiance. And it's all on film. But we don't like that film.
Chrissy Hoadley
They cut it.
Chris Hoadley
They cut it. They cut all the good parts. Cut the part where we actually hooked up with women. As a matter of fact, we were ready to get that film out to, you know, the juries at Cannes Film Festival. And then Bexter forgot to sign the paperwork.
Unknown Panelist
He played solid game. He didn't try to do anything too aggressive that night. Although I do think you had some.
Chrissy Hoadley
Is he turning pages?
Brian Green
No, he's, like, fiddling with them. He's, He's. He talks with his hands like I
Unknown Panelist
do moments with her on the beach. And to see that, to see him perform with that.
Brian Green
With a couch on the beach with the couch. That's clearly where you put a couch. Yeah, I've been to Barcelona and I don't remember seeing too many couches on
Chris Hoadley
the beach, but it's Spain. I'm not throwing it by any of this. I'm not saying he's lying.
Brian Green
I'm just saying he's probably not telling the truth.
Unknown Panelist
Pressure with that spotlight on him. I mean, you want to talk about performance anxiety, you know, this is as high pressure as it gets, you know, so.
Chrissy Hoadley
And what? He handled it well?
Brian Green
He handled it fantastically.
Chris Hoadley
I. I don't remember the man with
Chrissy Hoadley
the goggles on,
Chris Hoadley
the man with the. The man with the flavor saver piercing the goggles and the guy who looks like a 70 year old woman making out on the clearly comfortable couch on the beaches of Barcelona with the documentary film crew all around and no performance anxiety there. Hard as a rock. I was fluffing him while he was conversing with that woman, which we all
Brian Green
do from time to time. Don't be embarrassed.
Unknown Panelist
New York City, when Neil Strauss's book the Game was going to be out, we were in New York City.
Chris Hoadley
We're in New York City. In New York City. Back when I wanted to live, back when I had the will to live. We were in New York City when Neil Strauss's book came out. No, not the famous composer, the other guy. No, not Levi Strauss. It's not the Gene Company, it's Neil Strauss.
Chrissy Hoadley
It's Fuck the game.
Unknown Panelist
Yeah,
Chris Hoadley
shut up, Baxter.
Chrissy Hoadley
Wow.
Chris Hoadley
Wow.
Unknown Panelist
And remember Mirage? And you and me and Neil?
Chris Hoadley
Ah, good old Mirage. Literally comes and he goes. Sometimes you see him, sometimes you don't. It's amazing. He's Mirage.
Unknown Panelist
Vanity Fair and GQ magazine were following these guys, following around. And the big cameras, remember in Montreal and. And the big cameras falling, surrounded Montreal.
Chris Hoadley
What? Vanity Fair, gq, gq?
Chrissy Hoadley
I thought they were in New York.
Chris Hoadley
What are we talking about now? Was Vogue there? Anna Wintour was following you around, taking advice.
Unknown Panelist
Who's these people? That was a big thing back then, man.
Chrissy Hoadley
What?
Brian Green
What was the big thing? The big cameras in Toronto.
Chris Hoadley
What?
Brian Green
What are we talking about? Why are there big cameras in Toronto and why is that a big thing? These are.
Chris Hoadley
Guys, listen, this is sad. You know why it's sad?
Brian Green
Just a little bit. It's sad because the glory days are gone. Mystery had a television show on VH1. He was on Conan O' Brien and Jay Leno and Dave Letterman. The guy legitimately had some fame.
Chrissy Hoadley
The mighty have fallen.
Chris Hoadley
Yeah. Only I think, think it you would
Brian Green
appear that he was in on the joke. But I think that everyone was kind of laughing at him and not with him. I don't think anybody was believing that he was a master pickup artist. He was just pretending to be one.
Chrissy Hoadley
Yes.
Unknown Panelist
And I remember Neil's. Neil being completely nervous because he had to demonstrate to Vanity Fair or GQ magazine that night. He had to show him a set, and they wanted to follow him around.
Brian Green
He's, like, all nervous.
Unknown Panelist
Remember that?
Yeah, he didn't want to be pushed.
Chris Hoadley
That's Vanity.
Brian Green
Fan it. Hey, man, show us a set.
Chris Hoadley
Go ahead.
Brian Green
Well, I'm kind of nervous because it's not actually true.
Listener Caller
None of it.
Chrissy Hoadley
I've never heard it.
Chris Hoadley
Yeah. I've actually never tested this material out.
Unknown Panelist
Didn't want to be put on the spot. Exactly.
That's right. You know, show us your skills, kid.
Yeah, show me what you got. Yeah, exactly.
He didn't like that pressure. I could take that pressure, though. If someone points out a hot girl, I'll go and meet her.
Brian Green
I can also filet a salmon in about six minutes.
Chrissy Hoadley
I'll go and meet her.
Chris Hoadley
I'll go and meet her. I could go and meet somebody. What's the big deal? Hey, nice to meet you.
Chrissy Hoadley
That's right.
Chris Hoadley
The name's Mystery.
Mystery (Pickup Artist)
Aw.
Chris Hoadley
You're a sweet old lady who's knocking on the door.
Unknown Panelist
You know, if she's my type, I'll go and meet her.
I wasn't there for. I wasn't there for this set. But I remember Bexter one time going into a set, and he was dealing with a really, really testy woman who within seconds of him opening the set, she grabbed his straw out of his drink and tossed it like this over her shoulder. And Bexter didn't even flinch. He just kept running whatever routine he was in the middle of as if he didn't even see this straw go flying.
Chrissy Hoadley
That was a sign that she didn't like you.
Chris Hoadley
Yes. Bexter has this amazing ability to keep talking even after a woman has left. That's what I appreciate about Bexter.
Brian Green
Yeah.
Chris Hoadley
What I appreciate about Bexter is, woman or no woman, he's hitting on something. Him and Mirage running around Toronto, hitting on each other. And that Mystery, she's a nice woman. I like her. She's a nice old lady.
Unknown Panelist
In 10 minutes, 15 minutes. I don't remember the exact timeline, but he spun her around to his favor and got the digits. I don't know what happened from there, but I remember watching that.
Chris Hoadley
Hey, you want to play a game? I'm gonna put a Blindfold on you, spin you around real quick, and I'm gonna pin my digits on your ass. It's like bend the tail on the donkey. Baxter, I never liked you. I don't know why you're here.
Mystery (Pickup Artist)
I thought mystery moved the straw when
Unknown Panelist
he thought it was a magic trick.
Instacart Advertiser
Hey.
Chrissy Hoadley
God, that's cool.
Unknown Panelist
Mystery.
Brian Green
Blame Canada.
Unknown Panelist
Blame Canada, man. Nowadays you have to blame Canada for sure. Huh?
Chrissy Hoadley
Why does he have to for sure play in Canada? Is he banned?
Chris Hoadley
No.
Brian Green
Blame Canada.
Chrissy Hoadley
Oh, yeah.
Brian Green
I don't know. I can imagine sometimes these guys, they get themselves into a pickle.
Chrissy Hoadley
Yeah.
Brian Green
You know when you're just running around a country, you know, verbally assaulting all the women?
Chrissy Hoadley
Yes.
Mystery (Pickup Artist)
Do you remember in Russia, we were out on the patio.
Chris Hoadley
Do you remember in Russia? No, Baxter, I know. Don't. Never happened.
Mystery (Pickup Artist)
And it was still light in the morning because it was that time of day when.
Brian Green
Where we were in the country.
Mystery (Pickup Artist)
And it was amazing that we were doing it. And it's. It's. It's on YouTube.
Chris Hoadley
And it's on YouTube. It's proof of. Was proof that it was light outside. There's a sun
Chrissy Hoadley
time of day when it was light out.
Brian Green
That's right, Chrissy.
Chris Hoadley
And there was light outside. And then I came outside and I said, I'm gonna do a set right here.
Brian Green
Right here.
Chris Hoadley
No one.
Brian Green
I don't care if there's anyone here. I'm gonna do a set.
Chris Hoadley
And I did a set. It's on YouTube. The daytime. And that's my story. Thanks, Baxter.
Mystery (Pickup Artist)
He's doing. He's moving straws. He's moving bottles. He's, you know, they're an amazing magic. And there's a crowd all around, and this girl's like pulling her face off nearly. It was crazy.
Chrissy Hoadley
What? And then they say, were you at a rave?
Unknown Panelist
Yeah.
Chris Hoadley
What are you doing?
Brian Green
She's tripping her face off. In the day, it's dangerous.
Mystery (Pickup Artist)
And. And every time he's moving the straw, he gets the straw out there. Drink right at one point and passes it to me and I put it down and we look over. There's about 20 straws on the table for how many sets we've been running.
Unknown Panelist
Yeah,
Chris Hoadley
I got a story. I got a story. You remember the time when we did one stroll and then looked over 20.
Mystery (Pickup Artist)
Mystery.
Instacart Advertiser
Remember?
Chris Hoadley
Yes, Baxter. Shut up, Baxter.
Mystery (Pickup Artist)
Creating the whole. So the whole club knew us by the end of the night. That's amazing, man.
Chrissy Hoadley
By the end of the night, I thought, where was the day?
Chris Hoadley
Yeah, it's daytime. It's great.
Brian Green
It's a great story.
Rachel (Voice of God)
Yeah.
Chris Hoadley
Great. Who invited this?
Unknown Panelist
If you just.
Mystery (Pickup Artist)
Instant value demonstration, you know?
Unknown Panelist
But there are men here who've been listening to us speak this whole time
Chris Hoadley
still haven't gotten a word of encouragement.
Unknown Panelist
Thank you for tuning in and being a part of this that need to get out of the house more and play the game. It's fun. I mean, we do it because it's fun. You got to remember that it's worth the grind. It's raining out. It's snowing. It's.
Chris Hoadley
You act like you're going to dig diamond mines in Africa. You're pretending to hit on people on
Brian Green
camera so that you can sell it to other guys.
Chrissy Hoadley
Yes.
Brian Green
It's not a grind. It's as much of a grind as the commercial break is. I mean, let's be real.
Unknown Panelist
Worth the grind. Sometimes. Sometimes you're going to come home alone and wonder why you left the house in the first place. But if you just keep grinding to find, you'll find the next bubble.
Chris Hoadley
Grind to find and then find a grind. That's what I always say. Grind to find in the diamond mind, as my dad used to say. But this is a different kind of grinding. Sometimes you're gonna.
Brian Green
You're gonna grind to find that you come back to your house to grind
Chris Hoadley
on your couch because there's no one there with you.
Brian Green
But that's okay.
Thumbtack Advertiser
Love.
Unknown Panelist
And you'll get to meet some beautiful women and change your life. It's pretty.
Chris Hoadley
Yeah.
Unknown Panelist
The good guys. The good guys don't blame themselves if they go out and they talk to girls. They are sincere. They. They did their best attempt and it doesn't work. They don't blame themselves. They don't blame the women. They blame the. The universe didn't make it happen. They don't say, I could have been taller or, you know, more funny. They just say, okay, that didn't work. I tried. It didn't work.
Chrissy Hoadley
That's the best advice anybody's giving.
Chris Hoadley
But I have.
Brian Green
I have found that of all of the pickup artists we have reviewed.
Chrissy Hoadley
Yeah, Zahn.
Brian Green
Zahn sometimes has a piece of wisdom that is. That is actually makes sense. But I wish he wasn't such a douche about all the other stuff. But, yes, if you go out in the world and you come home alone and it just didn't happen for you, you didn't find that special person, man or woman, dog or whatever. The. Not dog said that.
LifeLock Advertiser
Sorry.
Unknown Panelist
Sorry.
Chrissy Hoadley
Where'd that come from?
Brian Green
Dog. We don't screw dogs. Ca. However, that's A different story.
Chris Hoadley
Goats.
Brian Green
You know, some countries, it's legal. So you. You go out there in the world and you come back with a different result than you, than you would have anticipated, you would have liked. That is life is not you being a failure as a human being. It is just not the time. It's not the right. It's not the moment. You don't even blame the universe. You just said, you know, thanks for the good night out, and we'll do it again next week. That's the way it is. Grind it, grind it to find it. Find it to grind it. That's what I say.
Unknown Panelist
Which most guys blame themselves, think I should.
Rachel (Voice of God)
Hi.
Unknown Panelist
If only I would. I should have been more interesting or I should have engaged her on emotional level. Or.
And.
And the guys who have abundance, they don't blame themselves. They say, oh, that didn't work. Let's.
Chris Hoadley
Okay, shut up. Stop while you're ahead. We liked you there for a second. It's no more. All right. Okay. Well, that was.
Brian Green
It's almost the end of the video, and I have another one of those videos. Same group of guys doing earlier on in the. In the recording. I have another one. It's a little bit longer, so maybe we'll. We'll get into it next week.
Chrissy Hoadley
I mean, they never disappoint.
Brian Green
They never disappoint. There's always something to just have fun with because they're such idiots.
Chrissy Hoadley
Yeah.
Brian Green
I mean, honestly. Listen, I can appreciate that you took something rather pedestrian and you turned it into what you're calling a science that people buy. I can appreciate that you manufactured something out of nothing and that they're probably. I. I would imagine that there is a person or two out there who have benefited from some of the advice that you have given. And as long as you're not assaulting anybody right then I guess at the end of the day, it is just doing what you do. But it just seems like you're misguided a little bit. All of it's a misguided. And then when you open your mouth, you can't help but laugh. I mean, you really can't. There's like 700 views on this video and in the o. In the last year. I can't believe 700 people tuned in. That's. It's hard to believe we're one of them now. Yeah, I know. We just gave him another view.
Unknown Panelist
Wow.
Brian Green
Sorry.
Chrissy Hoadley
Wow.
Chris Hoadley
Grind to find. Find to grind. That pinnacle of.
Chrissy Hoadley
That's right.
Chris Hoadley
We're gonna Frankenstein us all together and make us one Big
Brian Green
eating monster. That's what we're gonna do.
Chrissy Hoadley
Oh, those beaches of Barcelona. Barcelona.
Brian Green
Ah, the beaches and couches of Barcelona.
Chris Hoadley
If you think the beaches of Barcelona are beautiful, you see the couches of Barcelona, right?
Unknown Panelist
Yes.
Chris Hoadley
Just a little off in the distance. See that couch up there on the beautiful mountain? It's been there for generations.
Brian Green
It's Zahn's makeout couch. Bexter.
Chris Hoadley
Bexter.
Chrissy Hoadley
Oh, my God.
Chris Hoadley
I'm gonna start saying that when I
Brian Green
don't like somebody, I'll be like it.
Chrissy Hoadley
Baxter.
Chris Hoadley
All right. Okay. Well, if.
Brian Green
If you're live, I hope you have a wonderful holiday weekend. If you're listening to this, after the holiday, I hope you had a wonderful holiday weekend.
Chrissy Hoadley
Yes.
Brian Green
Remember, link in the show notes. Donate if you can, when you can, how you can, to the people of the Venezuela who are in desperate need of some help as they recover from two very terrible earthquakes that have left them in quite a mess. So I would appreciate it. And if you have any questions, comments or concerns, you can reach out at the commercial break on Instagram or at Brian William Green on Instagram. I'll guide you in the right direction. Okay, Chrissy, that's all I can do for now. For today, I will tell you that I love you. I love you, say best to you. Best to you out there in the podcast universe. Until next time, Chrissy. And I will say we do say, and we must say you, Bexter.
Unknown Panelist
I.
Chris Hoadley
Get ass.
Hosts: Bryan Green & Krissy Hoadley
Release Date: July 8, 2026
This episode of The Commercial Break delivers a gleefully chaotic roast of “pickup artists” (PUAs), especially the infamous Mystery and his crew. Bryan and Krissy dive deep into a recent Zoom panel featuring Mystery, Zan Perignon, and two other pickup personalities (“Bexter” and “Ice White”)—mocking the self-seriousness and oddball rituals of the PUA community. Interspersed is the show’s signature blend of improv banter, pop-culture hot takes (Taylor Swift’s rumored wedding, celebrity prenups), and pointed humor about human relationships and internet fame.
“You can’t invite a thousand people and keep it a secret. Those two things do not live in the same universe.” ([06:40])
Intro to the PUA Cast and Scene:
Best Moments & Satirical Reenactments:
“You’ve taken the most exciting part of single life ... and you have made it the most mundane-sounding scientific. It’s not like that at all.” ([34:53])
“Who invited Bexter?” ([37:02])
On Taylor Swift’s Comfort with Publicity:
“She is a Whitney Houston, Michael Jackson level celebrity. And so she's one of the few, I think, that probably could do this. And it doesn't feel completely obnoxious, but it does seem a little bit obnoxious.” – Bryan ([04:41])
On Pickup Artist Self-Aggrandizement:
"If I could Frankenstein us together, sew us together and make one big frame set, then we would be unstoppable... It would be the pinnacle of pussy." – Chris (riffing as a PUA, [01:37], [35:29])
On the Bizarre Jargon:
“When girls are falling into my frames in my sets, there’s nothing like it.” – Bryan mocking PUAs ([31:48])
On Bexter’s Skills:
"Bexter has this amazing ability to keep talking even after a woman has left. That's what I appreciate about Bexter." – Chris ([52:55])
On the Sad State of the PUA Fandom:
"It's sad because the glory days are gone. Mystery had a television show on VH1... The mighty have fallen." – Bryan ([50:38])
On the Group’s Wisdom:
"[Zan] sometimes has a piece of wisdom that is... actually makes sense. But I wish he wasn't such a douche about all the other stuff." – Bryan ([58:29])
Episode sign-off / Best Callbacks:
“Grind to find, find to grind. That pinnacle of (pussy)... We're gonna Frankenstein us all together.” – Chris ([61:01])
“It's Zahn's makeout couch, Bexter.” – Bryan ([61:30])
For listeners new and old: If you enjoy unscripted goofiness, pop-culture tangents, and satirical deconstruction of internet oddities, this episode is TCB at its finest, or at least its silliest. "Grind to find, find to grind..."