Give 'Em The Bryan Look

Summary

The Commercial Break — “Give 'Em The Bryan Look” (Feb 7, 2024)
Hosts: Bryan Green & Krissy Hoadley

---

Episode Overview

In this lively, irreverent episode, Bryan and Krissy dive into their usual comedic banter around internet conspiracy theories, travel mishaps, and a harrowing (yet hilarious) story of navigating hotel hell in Paris—with a heavy dose of self-deprecation and offbeat wisdom. Amid the chaos, the duo sprinkle in some vocab “Word of the Day,” discuss changes with their podcast's new network, and share personal stories that straddle both absurdity and real human moments. For regular fans and newcomers alike, the ride is equal parts laughter, empathy, and head-shaking at the current state of pop culture.

---

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Peak Idiocy: Conspiracies Around Taylor Swift, the NFL & Politics

[02:33–11:16]

• Bryan launches a rant about the latest “tinfoil hat” conspiracy: the theory that Taylor Swift and NFL star Travis Kelce were “put together” to help President Biden win the next election.

• The hosts express disbelief at how far internet-based conspiracy logic has gone, even mocking how such theories would require the complicity of an implausibly huge number of people.

• They joke that if pushing this narrative persists, right-wing strategists are actually risking mobilizing Swift’s massive fanbase—ironically, to their own political detriment.

  “This conspiracy theory makes QAnon look like Encyclopedia Britannica… This is lunacy, to believe that Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce were put together by big pharma and Joe Biden to win an election.”
  —Bryan [07:57]

  “She [Taylor Swift] tweeted one time in 2023: Go vote. Register to vote. 35,000 people signed up that day!”
  —Bryan [10:32]

2. “Word of the Day” Gets Elevated

[15:10–18:35]

• Krissy introduces “nonage,” meaning “the period of immaturity or youth,” which spirals into jokes about the show embodying perpetual adolescence.

• The pair recap previous words—“bonhomie” (delightful) and “quintidian” (mundane, everyday task)—and relate all of them to the spirit of The Commercial Break.

  “So the commercial. This describes the commercial break: nonage at heart.”
  —Bryan [17:08]

3. Podcast Business — Welcome to Audacy

[18:38–22:28]

• The hosts announce their move from Libsyn to Audacy, their new podcast network. They’re grateful for past support but look forward to new opportunities and (for listeners) fewer ads.

• They name-check several people in the industry and share a transparent look at the less glamorous side of “middling mediocre podcasts” transitioning networks.

  “Thank you for taking on this show that's in its nonage period. We really appreciate it, Audacy.”
  —Bryan [19:36]

4. “I Am Rectangular” — The Viral Guy's Travel Nightmare

[25:29–30:17]

• Reminiscence about an internet singer known for the oddly catchy “I Am Rectangular” tune, who appeared on Instagram at various landmarks.

• He recently went public with a shocking story: he and his family were kidnapped by armed rebels in Africa, driven around at gunpoint, and extorted at ATMs—but ultimately released unharmed.

• The story’s both surreal and sobering, prompting reflections on how travel can take unexpected (and dangerous) turns.

  “It is an insane story… these rebels then take them, and they start driving them around for hours and hours and hours, yelling at them, they’re going to kill them… Finally at some point, under the grace of God, they let them go unharmed.”
  —Bryan [28:02]

5. Travel Anxiety & Parisian Hotel Disasters — “The Bryan Look” in Action

[31:31–46:07]

• Bryan tells a (comedy of errors) story: wanting to impress Astrid during a Paris trip, he runs into hotel room disasters—tiny, shabby rooms; hard-to-see Eiffel Tower views; disjointed twin beds.

• Multiple attempts to charm staff (his wife calls it “the Bryan look”) finally get them a “suite”—which is just two small rooms awkwardly connected.

• Feeling stymied, Bryan calls Travelocity. After a marathon of phone calls, a helpful rep, Stacy, books them a perfect hotel… but now they have to wiggle out of their previous reservation.

• Bryan feigns an emergency to cancel—with the hotel graciously refunding their entire stay. A new complication: Astrid accidentally stains the hotel marble with hair dye. Hotel staff, again, are remarkably gracious.

• The tale is a mix of cringe, ingenuity, and “first-world problems,” told with signature self-mockery and affection.

  “I just gave them the Bryan look. If you insist on upgrading me to a suite for no money, then I insist on telling you how wonderful you are.”
  —Bryan [36:44]

  “It's a comedy of errors… but Stacy at Travelocity helped save my relationship. I owe that woman a letter, and I wrote one!”
  —Bryan [44:28]

6. A Parisian Trauma—When You Can’t Help

[53:11–59:53]

• On their first night out, Bryan and Astrid see an elderly Parisian man suddenly collapse just beside them—he dies instantly.

• Bryan tries to communicate with locals, pharmacy staff, and call for help, but language and cultural barriers make him feel powerless.

  “He just goes down, hits his head… he is NOT breathing. He is not okay. He has had a major heart attack right there.”
  —Bryan [53:12]

  “I felt absolutely helpless in this moment. This poor bastard fell out in front of me… and I cannot communicate to anybody, including—I don’t even know how to call for help.”
  —Bryan [56:40]

• The experience leaves Bryan shaken, and the duo reflect on how terrifying it can be to be helpless abroad—a kind of empathy for others who find themselves in real danger, like the “rectangular” guy earlier.

7. Community Prompt & Closing Banter

[58:12–61:54]

• Bryan and Krissy invite listeners to share their own international travel horror stories.

• Lighthearted mentions of favorite French foods (crepes, croissants), upcoming trips, and Europe vs. Italy banter.

• Show-closing gratitude and reminders for listeners to connect via various channels.

  “Tell me your most terrifying story when you felt helpless internationally… doesn’t matter where you’re from, we want to hear it!”
  —Bryan [58:15]

---

Notable Quotes & Moments

• “Have we not any common fucking sense in our head?... Calm down. Calm fucking down.” — Bryan, [07:57, on Swift/Kelce conspiracies]
• “I think we’ve reached peak idiot in this country, and I’m welcoming the tinfoil hat people back into the fold.” — Bryan, [02:06]
• “All my jokes are nonage. However, they are quotidian also.” — Bryan, [17:10]
• “It's a connected room, but the other connected room has one couch, additional blood stains, and a television… I don’t need a room to get away from her, I need a room to be with her!” — Bryan, [38:39]
• “You get more flies with honey.” — Krissy, [36:43]
• “It's a comedy of errors, but Stacy at Travelocity helped save my relationship!” — Bryan, [44:28]
• “This has been a nice episode. There’s no comedy to this. I’m just sharing.” — Bryan, [58:12]

---

Key Timestamps by Segment

• [02:33] — The Super Bowl–Taylor Swift conspiracy theory and media absurdity
• [11:16] — Endorsements joke, transitioning into "Word of the Day"
• [15:10] — Nonage, bonhomie, and “quintidian” defined and riffed on
• [18:38] — Transition to Audacy, industry thanks
• [25:29] — “I Am Rectangular” viral guy gets kidnapped
• [31:31] — Paris trip: hotel hell, “the Bryan look,” Travelocity heroics
• [53:11] — Paris trauma: witnessing death and feeling helpless abroad
• [58:12] — Invitation for listener stories; international community welcome
• [61:50] — Wrap-up love and gratitude, usual sign-offs

---

Summary & Takeaway

This episode perfectly blends TCB’s brand of improv humor, unfiltered takes on cultural weirdness, and slices of real vulnerability. Bryan’s Paris story encapsulates that blend: absurd, relatable, and—ultimately—heartfelt. The show’s playful tone continues even amid heavier themes, and their loyalty to both silliness and sincerity makes this “Cheesecake Factory of comedy podcasts” a singular, comforting escape.

---

Listen for:

• Laugh-out-loud rants on conspiracies
• Comedic dissection of travel nightmares
• A subtle lesson in why kindness (plus “the Bryan look”) often wins the day
• The shared humanity (and comedy) of feeling lost abroad

Catch the next episode or contribute your own “helpless traveler” story to the TCB universe at tcbpodcast.com or via their socials.

Transcript

[Brian Green]

Thing about me, no matter how bad the situation is, I'm gonna crack a little jokey joke.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

And you feel me?

[Brian Green]

Cause we depressed. I did. On this episode of the commercial break, and I get on the phone with Travelocity. I call their phone number, travelocity. And so are they still around? Oh, yeah. I just booked something on Travelocity the other day. I hope I can pay for it, but I just booked something on Travelocity.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

You don't have to pay until you check in. Great, perfect.

[Brian Green]

Great, perfect. Could I pay? I check out like a couple days after. I need a couple days to pay you back. It's all good. Don't worry about it. I'm good for it, right? You can use this credit card number, but don't try it right now. The next episode of the commercial break starts now. Oh, yeah. Cats and kittens, welcome back to the commercial break. I'm Brian Green. This is the wife of Jizzy Jazz Jeff. Kristen Joy Odley. Best to you, Chris, and best to you all, you jizzle drizzle fans. Fans out there. Welcome back to the commercial break of your intrepid host, Brian Greene. Intrepid co host, pragmatic son of a father. I'm the son of a father, the brother of a brother, the bastard of a mother. I am Brian Green. I'm here as you are here. I'm there. I'm everywhere. I'm here. All right, we're gonna do it. Another episode here back in the TCB stud videos live from somewhere north of Atlanta. You guess. You guess. Don't dox me, bro. Don't dox me, bro. Sure. Like, this would be the easiest, probably the easiest podcast ever to docs, but I'm not gonna give you any more clues. You have to figure it out by yourself. You know, scary that was reading about, like, how the. Who was it? One of the supreme court justices, they were doxed. Like they. One of the swatting or whatever they call it, like, where they call the police and they say there's a shooting inside the house and the police come, guns a blazing.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

Oh, my God.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, it's crazy. It's insane. Like, why. Why in the world? I don't understand it. I don't get it. You know what else I don't get? I'm just gonna say this. Like, I have to say this. I have to tell you this. I think we've reached peak idiot in this country, and I'm welcoming the tinfoil hat people back into the fold. I. I gotta say, I don't think it's the true. I don't think it's the right thing to do to then, you know, cast them off onto some island or something.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

They're not looking so bad anymore.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, the. Yeah, some of the tinfoil hat people are looking pretty sane actually, compared to some of the stuff that's going on right now. But I have to say, even the most insanity of insane. The most insane of insanity. Insanity. You can. Welcome back. Come on back. Like we used to say on the commercial break, go down the rabbit hole, we'll throw you a ladder. Right, because I am hearing the most ridiculous conspiracy theories around Taylor Swift and this and the Super Bowl. Now, I don't know the first fucking thing about. I don't know the first fucking thing about football. And I will be the first to admit that. I really don't.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

You already did admit it when you thought the Chiefs lost.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, but I thought the Chiefs lost in the playoffs and now seems like they're heading to the super bowl despite the loss. Exactly the dumbest thing I've ever said on the commercial break. And I so want to take that episode down, but I'm going to take it on the chin. I made a huge mistake and I'm sorry about that. To all the Chiefs fans or anybody out there who has any respect for NFL football, the NFL product is the most popular sport besides WWE in the world. I think. I think WWE is the most popular sport in the world. I don't know, at least the w. At least you know what you're getting with the wwe. It's the most honest.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

Football was. But soccer to us.

[Brian Green]

Soccer to us. I don't know. Anyway, in the United States, whatever. I'm not even going to pretend. Football, wwe, soccer, it's all huge, right? So the NFL is undoubtedly a needle pusher. Like, when is this my landscapers again, I was gonna say.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

Hey, boss.

[Brian Green]

Hey, boss. Yes, I'm coming between 12 and 4 like you told me. No, I said please don't come between 12 and 4. Gotcha, boss. No problem. Next time I make sure I do it. Unbelievable. This is like the fifth time they've been here this week also. And we have no grass. It's the middle of the fucking winter. What are you doing?

[Kristen Joy Odley]

No, I actually have mud on my car. From your drive?

[Brian Green]

From my Dr. Yes. Because first of all, it's been raining for a year and so everything is mud. And now these guys are mowing the mud, charging me 75 every time they show up. It's fucking crazy. I gotta talk to this Guy, Juan is in trouble. You're in trouble, Juan. I've played nice up until now, but now I mean business. You better set your clock correctly. This is crazy. And I mean, they're right outside the window. They come anytime we start to press the record button. Yeah, I know he's gonna do it right on the wind. It's unbelievable. You know, the episodes have Juan and Screw back there, all of them. It's almost Blue and Juan are the other two co hosts of the show. It's the Blue and Juan show. You got it, boss. No problem. This guy is a rather intelligent human being. I've worked him for a long time. I've talked to him on many occasions. I can't understand what he doesn't understand about between these hours. Please do not come because it's so loud. We can hear it. And it goes on for 15 goddamn minutes.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

God damn it. All right, I'm gonna try and continue though, because, you know. Yeah, I don't have all day to work on this commercial break. I got 55 children. I got problems. Okay, Let me be louder than them. I swear to God, I want to open this window right now. Let me take a look at what's going on over here.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

Oh.

[Brian Green]

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. They're parked right in my grass, too. What's left of my grass. Thanks, Juan. You're coming to cut the grass and you're parking in the grass. The is going on in here. What are we doing with our lives? I don't know. I don't know what's going on.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

Well, I hey trying to keep things in perspective. If that's the worst thing that happens today, it's good.

[Brian Green]

It's gonna be good.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

Good.

[Brian Green]

It's gonna be good. It's gonna be a good day. Today's been an okay day.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

So back to Britney Spears and Taylor Swift or whatever we're talking about. Okay, I am like this.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

I haven't even read.

[Brian Green]

Okay, Let me tell you.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

But I have not delved because it's too. It does not deserve my time. This is side what the latest conspiracy theory is about twice, Taylor.

[Brian Green]

Well, let me tell you. This is what's going on.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

Give me the. The Cliff Notes.

[Brian Green]

Some right wing and I mean some looney tuney fucking right wing pundits are out there pushing the notion that Taylor Swift and Travis Kelsey have gotten together as part of a psy ops, a psychological operation to make Joe Biden win the election. That all putting the two most. Two of the most popular and powerful things together. NFL And Taylor Swift. And one endorsement by that couple pushes everything over the edge. And Joe Biden wins in a landslide. Oh my God, there are so many people on the Internet that are freaking out about this. You know, this fucking Vinjay Ramaswamy or whatever his fucking name is.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

And then that is a very elaborate plan.

[Brian Green]

How many NFL players, How many referees, coaches. Yeah, Executives. Are they all laying down to the altar of Joe Biden? This is fucking insane. Did they all just sacrifice them on themselves? Oh, no, no, no, no problem. I maybe have three good years in the NFL. I could make it to the Super Bowl. But Joe Biden needs to win the election.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

Let's give it to Kelsey.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, let's get. Don't worry, I got your back on this one, Kelsey. Everybody's got their backs fumbling and bumbling footballs to get Joe Biden elected. Have we not any common fucking sense in our head? This conspiracy theory makes QAnon look like Cyclopedia Britannica. I mean, I mean, hey, dude, this is insane. This is insane. Even right wing, I read right wing, left wing, I read all kind of news all over the board because I do not find myself to be affiliated. I do not find myself to be partial to one particular brand. Apologies.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

Plus, it's good to know what other people are saying.

[Brian Green]

Absolutely.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

Maybe is not in the same opinion of yours, so.

[Brian Green]

And even right wing news outlets are like, come on, guys, how are we supposed to win an election when this is what we're pushing? How are we supposed to get through to the peep? The independents out there like Brian Greene are undecided. Are undecided. When this is the bullshit that we're spewing. This is the bullshit that we're spewing. And this is part of the problem in the United States right now. But I say to any of you that may be believing this line of horseshit, that alien light talker makes more sense than this.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

She really does.

[Brian Green]

And I have to tell you right now, I welcome you back with open arms. Come back to the warm waters of common fucking sense. Because this is lunacy. It's lunacy to believe that Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce were put together by big pharma and Joe Biden to win an election. No one, no one can keep a fucking secret. Do you think thousands and thousands of human beings are in on this and they're keeping the secret? Just think about that in your own life. How many times has your Aunt Lucy told you that Uncle Bob is fucking sticking his dick in a goat at Night. And you didn't go around immediately and call your friends to tell them that Uncle Bob is the local goat. This is lunacy. It's the exact same reason why we actually went to the moon. It's the exact same. I mean, it's just like you guys because. Calm down. Calm fucking down. Yes, Taylor Swift. And by the way, by the way, if you play into this, I'm going to play right wing conservative strategist for a minute. If you play into this, you are going to anger and upset the millions and millions and millions of Taylor Swift fans and you will lose the election. Oh yeah, there you go. Taylor is allowed to say there, There's.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

A lot of voting age men and.

[Brian Green]

Women, you know, Swifties that Taylor Swift tweeted one time in 2023, go vote. Register to vote.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

Yes.

[Brian Green]

Put the link to the register. And 35, 000 people signed up in that day. It was 11, 000% upside on how many people usually register to vote on the vote.com website or whatever it was. Guys and girls, settle down. Simmer the down. Whoever's going to win is going to win. That's going to be it. It has nothing to do with the NFL or Taylor Swift right now. Now I have to admit we've got two stumbling, bumbling yahoos that are gonna go at each other again in 2024. And you know, it's a lesser of two evils again, but you guys gotta. This is craziness in its most base form. It is people literally losing their minds.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

I know.

[Brian Green]

So I would like right now, right here at this moment, I would like to endorse Frankie B. For president because I know how important my. I know how important my endorsement is to the election.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

We can write it. We can write him in.

[Brian Green]

You know, Robert F. Kennedy in the latest poll is still polling at 14%. In a five way race, he's polling at 14%. That's, that's pretty good. That's pretty good. I don't know what I've, I got. I haven't seen a fucking RFK rally or anything. I don't know what he's all about. But anyway, can we please take it down a notch? Take it down and settle down. Bring it back to common sense and you guys could come here anytime you want to. Look how commonsensical we are. I'm a pragmatic pragmatist. I'm a son of a father. I come from the sperm of a nut. I mean, guys just come back to the warm embrace of the commercial Break. We're here. We talk very gently and softly to you.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

That's right. And we give words of the day.

[Brian Green]

We. We give words of the day, which we'll get to in just one second. I just had to get to this first because it makes it so upset. It just drives me loony.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

And I. On a whole group text last night about all this with some friends, and it's. Yeah. It's insane. It's.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, it really is. And I don't even know what to say. I. I. Okay. Word of the day. Let's. Let's move on. I'll move on.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

And also, cheers to them. I've been saying this since the beginning. I want Taylor to find love. I want everybody in the world to find love.

[Brian Green]

Yeah.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

And I hope that they work out.

[Brian Green]

I do. I do, too. I think it. I think it's an immense amount of pressure to be in that relationship right now.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

Imagine.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. And I don't know, but they've had.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

Some training, so she's had some training.

[Brian Green]

He was also very popular NFL player before Taylor, according to everyone who knows about the NFL. Right. He's a very good player.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

He and his brother have had the podcast.

[Brian Green]

I think there's a difference between being, like, the local hero of the Chiefs and then being, like, a worldwide.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

There's no one. Like, there's nothing.

[Brian Green]

No, no, no, no. There's nothing that compares to the bright light of Taylor Swift. Yeah.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

She was the moment.

[Brian Green]

Now, she was on my list, too. I mean, I don't find her to be, like, the world's most attractive woman. That's just my own personal perspective. But I do think she's very beautiful.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

Right? Yeah.

[Brian Green]

She's not necessarily my type. I'm sorry, Taylor, but you're not necessarily my type. But she was on my list, like, my freebie list. Okay. With Astrid, you know, you get the list of celebrities, you get freebies. She was on my freebie list.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

Okay.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. And Astrid has no fear where that goes. Yeah. Well, we'll see. Taylor, when you're done with Trav, give me a call.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

You're listening.

[Brian Green]

I'm looking to get Vivek Ramaswamy elected. Let's do it together. Yeah.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

Now maybe you could push Frankie.

[Brian Green]

You know, I. Listen, Frankie for President is better than some of the options we have out there right now. Frankie talks a bunch of nonsense, but at least he talks in full sentences. You know what I'm saying? Most of the time without having to take three deep breaths or talk about, you know, I don't know, Trump was up there talking about debanking. Like, debanking. What is debanking? And what he said is, they want to debank you. We're going to debank you. Everybody wants to debank you. Debanking. It's all about debanking. It's the new word. He went on this, like, five minute rant about debanking, and everyone was like, debanking. What? What is he talking about? Debanking, Anything. But then Joe has to take three deep breaths before he says his name. He's like, I know too much.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

Mad, mad world.

[Brian Green]

It is Weekend at Bernie's. That's all I can think of. All right.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

I love that movie, by the way.

[Brian Green]

Oh, it's good.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

Word of the day. What is the word of the day? We need a little, like, I need a little sound effect.

[Brian Green]

Oh, well, let me give you a little sound effect then. What would you like? No, okay, not that one. All right. No.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

Okay.

[Brian Green]

Oh, how about this? Word of the day.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

Word of the day. The word of the day today is nonage.

[Brian Green]

Nonage. Yes, nonage. Okay. Nonage, I'm going to say, is a word of the Latin descendants.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

That's always a good guess because almost.

[Brian Green]

Every word is from Latin.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

Comes from Latin, but it is a late Middle English word.

[Brian Green]

Oh, a Middle English word.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

Yeah. It actually kind of comes more from French.

[Brian Green]

Oh.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

But do you know what?

[Brian Green]

Lay down thy sword, sire, with your nonnage.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

It is.

[Brian Green]

Hold on, hold on. Okay, in a sentence, please, let's do it this way so Brian can try and guess what the word might mean.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

Okay, but then. Yeah, okay.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, we gives us some context. It's a fun game.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

So monkeys are far more developed during nonage than human adolescents are.

[Brian Green]

Okay, so nonage, then, must be the period of time, like the formative years of a human being.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

Yeah, Period of immaturity or youth.

[Brian Green]

Oh.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

Which I thought was perfect for show again.

[Brian Green]

Yes. All three words so far have had to do with the commercial break. So let's go back. We've got mahome. What is it?

[Kristen Joy Odley]

Bonhomme.

[Brian Green]

Bonhomme, which means happy and delightful.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

Happy and delightful.

[Brian Green]

Okay, and then we've got quintity. Yes, Quintity. Quintidian. Quintinian. That was what it was.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

Quintinian.

[Brian Green]

Quintian. Yes, we've got that.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

Which means mundane, everyday task.

[Brian Green]

That's right. That's the commercial break. You listening to. The commercial break is quintidian. And now we've got nonage, which is not, you know, gnarling on some cabbage. That is Nonage means your formative years.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

Yes.

[Brian Green]

Acting like an immature, prepubescent person. So the commercial. This describes the commercial break.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

Nonage.

[Brian Green]

At heart, your knowledge. At heart.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

Yes. All my jokes are nonage. However, they are quintidian also. You have to do them every day.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

See, look how we're just classing up. Podcast.

[Brian Green]

Geez, I never thought we'd go this direction with the show, but now we're, like, spreading the knowledge all across the world. How many.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

One. One word at a time.

[Brian Green]

How many tens of people do you think are hearing this right now, going, wow, you've really expanded my knowledge?

[Kristen Joy Odley]

Something to think about. It's just a little something to think about.

[Brian Green]

It is. I like it. I'm with it. I'm down with you on the. On the word of the day thing. I think it does bring a little bit of. Yes, Nonage.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

Nonage.

[Brian Green]

Brian's humor is nonage.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

Exactly.

[Brian Green]

Is it an adjective?

[Kristen Joy Odley]

It is a noun.

[Brian Green]

It is a noun. So it means. So it's not. So I am not part of speech. Noun. Okay, so I am not nonage, but I had a period of time.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

It's a period.

[Brian Green]

Was nonage.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

Right, Exactly. Here's another example. In a sentence. The summer I spent working at the park marked my transition from nonage to adulthood.

[Brian Green]

Transition from nonage to adulthood. Yeah. That is where we are. Stuck on this show for 527 episodes. 125 fucking episodes. That's okay. I'm okay being stuck there.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

I like nonage.

[Brian Green]

Yeah.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

I like being a little nonage. I like my nonage period here in the studio.

[Brian Green]

You know, I do have to say this real quick. I think. I think it's time to address this. The commercial break is now part of the Odyssey family, and we're so excited.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

Oh, my God, I'm so excited. There's. They've been so amazing.

[Brian Green]

They really have. They've been fantastic. They've been great. Well, yes, but I also want to go too far. Yeah. I also want to say that, you know, we were part of the Libsyn family, and they were wonderful also in their own way, to us for years. And then now we've moved to Odyssey, which is a. Another podcast network, very large radio company, podcast network. And they've been nothing but wonderful to us. And. And as was Libsyn was nothing but wonderful to us. And so if you notice some changes on, like, artwork or show notes or something like that, referring to Odyssey, that's what it is. We moved from podcast network to podcast network as middling Mediocre podcasts do. So it is now the dawn of Aquarius and the dawn of Odyssey here at the commercial break. The age of Aquarius. The age of nonsense. Check your panties. So thank you for taking on this show that's in its nonage period. We really appreciate it, Odyssey. Thank you for all of the kind words and kind deeds that it took to get us over here, all of the bending over of the backwards that it took to get over here. And for you. What does this mean? Not a fucking thing. It really doesn't mean anything to you guys. But we just. I wanted.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

We're very bon homie about it.

[Brian Green]

We're very bon homie about it. And listen, as this job is Quintinian, you know, we have to. We have to push a lot of content out and when you get some good support, that is awesome. And so we're feeling very grateful and lucky to be over at Odyssey. And we want to say thank you to Libsyn for all the one Libsyn advertise cast, for all the wonderful years during our.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

It was during our non engineers.

[Brian Green]

Our knowledge years were with.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

Advertised cast. That's right. That's right. But now we've grown up into big boys and girls and we're over there at Odyssey.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

Yes.

[Brian Green]

So. So it doesn't mean anything to you. You can now listen to us exclusively on the Odyssey. Not exclusively meaning you can go over there and listen to us on the Odyssey app if you choose to do that. But not much else changes with the show. No. Except for, you know, you might notice, like, if I want to pull the curtain back a little bit, what you're going to notice is less advertisements in the show and you're also. And so that's good for you. That's a plus for you. We'll see how it works out for us.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

California Border Patrol.

[Brian Green]

Sorry, Border Patrol, Kroger and the insurance company. But we, we do want to share that with you so that when you notice some things on the show, notes or on the COVID or art or whatever, you're like, wow, what is that? What is Odyssey? Odyssey is our new podcast and they.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

Have quite a few radio stat too, and I think maybe five here in Atlanta.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, they've got like hundreds across the country. A very big radio company moving into the digital age, as everybody has already, but they're also moving into the digital agent and making strides in the podcast sector. They've got. They did Spade.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

They don't know what they've got.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, they have no idea what they've gotten themselves into, but we're sure going to give them a good ride one way or the other.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

That's right.

[Brian Green]

This is the honeymoon period, but we'll check back in six months and let you know how things are going.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

They still love it.

[Brian Green]

Yes. But I do want to thank Leah, our agent, Matt, Leah over at Odyssey, Michael, Jordan, Everett, Matt, everyone who's been so one, Melissa, all of the people that ought to see that have been so wonderful. Matt, our agent, who has done a great job. And thanks to Dave and Trevor over at AdvertiseCast, who kept us around for probably a lot longer than we needed to be there. We grew up with them, so our knowledge years were with them. And we do have to thank your knowledge years.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

You'll never forget your knowledge years.

[Brian Green]

That's right. And like most families, it's probably a reason to go to therapy down the road, but for. Right for all of everybody involved. But for right now, we're saying our thank yous, our goodbyes and our hellos. So. All right, so let's take a break. That's enough podcast business talk for one episode. Let's take a break and then we'll be back. Yeah, boy.

[Podcast Announcer]

Let's cut to the chase. We love you and we want to hear your sweet, angelic voices asking us for advice. So give us a call and leave us a voicemail at 626-ASKTCB-3. If you're not ready for that kind of commitment, which I understand, send us a text instead at 855-TCB8383. And as always, don't forget to follow us on Instagram hecommercial break and on TikTok@TCB podcast. And this wouldn't be a TCB promo if I didn't tell you to go to our YouTube channel, YouTube.com the commercial break, to watch all of our amazing video edits. You can also go to tcbpodcast.com to find everything we have ever put on the website. Let's listen to some sponsors and then we are back on track, baby.

[Brian Green]

Love you.

[Podcast Announcer]

Bye.

[Brian Green]

This episode is sponsored in part by Prize Picks. Everybody out there in the podcast universe knows what a huge NFL fan I I am and exactly how much I know about the sport. However I'm getting into it, and I'll tell you why. Prizepix. Prizepix is America's number one fantasy sports app. With over 3 million members, it's the easiest and most exciting way to play dfs. It's just you against the numbers. You don't have to be a professional football player or dating some famous singer to get in on the action. Pride's Picks is allowing you to do it. And it's that time of year again. The big game right around the corner. Prize Picks is the easiest and most exciting way to turn every game changing moment into 100x your money. With as little as 4 correct picks, you can turn $10 into $1000. I just jumped on the prize pick apps last week and I'm telling you what, it's super easy to do. Prize picks is a really simple way. I can make my picks and then submit my entry in less than 60 seconds. Now, I don't want to go into detail about who I picked because I make my choices based on a complicated spreadsheet and then I have blue bark twice at the right answer. So do us a Favor. Go to prizepix.com tcb and use the code tcb for the first deposit match of up to $100. That's prizepix.com tcf make sure you use the code tcb for the 1st deposit match of up to $100. They're giving you free money so no matter who wins or loses this big Sunday, you have an opportunity to be part of the big game in a big way and possibly win a little moolah. Who's going to argue with that? Prizepix.com TCB use the code TCB and get a first deposit match of up to $100. Thanks, prize picks, for being a sponsor of the commercial break. Hey, do you remember, like, a couple months ago we were talking about that guy with the song I am rectangular?

[Kristen Joy Odley]

Yes. And you got that.

[Brian Green]

Feel it in my bones back in my head. I know, but he's still singing the same song on Instagram. You know, I reached out to that guy because I thought, well, let's bring him on the show. But then I thought, well, you know, and I like him. He said, yes. He was like, cool, whatever you want. Just let me know.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

Wasn't he going to be in Atlanta?

[Brian Green]

I think maybe he had flown to Atlanta, whatever. But he agreed to be on the show. And I didn't follow up with him because I don't. That's what I don't do. Because I have a meeting in five minutes ago. No other reason, except, like, the moment passed, right? The moment passed. And I thought to myself, okay, let's not torture this poor guy on 30 minutes of the commercial break. So he posted this Instagram story, I don't know, about two weeks ago, and it is an insane story. All he usually does. And for those who don't know, we're talking about a guy on Instagram. Let me see if I can. I. I'll see if I can find his name. But he sang a song and what he would do is he'd show up at a different location, like a different city. Different city. An airplane, an airport, a bathroom. He'd show up and he'd be like, Times Square. It'd be like, I traveled 3,700 miles to sing this song to you. Right? And then he'd lip sync his song, his one song that got like a little bit viral. And it went like this. I am rectangular. I feel it in my bones. I am rectangular. I have no holes. It's like. What? You have no holes? Everybody has holes, bro. But it was a pleasant song. It was like an earwig. It got stuck in your ear. And then he is. He is like the singing CEO is what he claims. Right? He's a musical artist and he's also a CEO of what? I don't know. So he. He gets on and he. It's just him talking. And I was like, oh, that's weird. That's not his usual thing. So I stick around. It's about a three minute reel or video that he did on Instagram. And he explains, he says, listen, you know, I usually come on here with happiness and goodness and I just want to spread a little cheer and joy with my music and all that other stuff. Stuff. But I do want to share this serious story, Something that happened to me and my family just recently. And he explains that him and his family traveled to Africa. And when they traveled to Africa, they decided. I forget which country they were in, and I don't want to get it wrong, so I'm not going to say it. He says, they decide to go somewhere near the border, this beautiful place. They're going to drive up there for the day and come back. Right. I think they were actually doing like some charity work or something. So they're going to go do this charity work, take a drive along the border and come back as they are.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

Driving, like the border of another.

[Brian Green]

Another country.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

Country or the border of like the. The continent?

[Brian Green]

No, the coast. Yeah, no, no, border of the country in the interior. And so he explains that as they're driving, they get stopped by some rebels. Some. By some armed rebels. Yeah, that's.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

There's a lot going on.

[Brian Green]

And he says that he's with his daughters and they're in this car and they don't Know what to do. So he complies, right? Because what else are you going to do? Armed rebels show up and you're in a strange country, you comply, right? And just pray that somehow, some way, you get out of this. So these armed rebels then take them. They take the car, they start driving them around for hours and hours and hours, yelling at them, they're going to kill them, they're going to shoot them, you're going to die. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

That's awful.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. And he's like, I'm just. I'm. It's all I can do to just keep my head about me and make sure that, you know, I do whatever I can to make sure that my family is. And at one point, they force him to get out of the car and da, da, da. And then they sing the song, and sing the song. I am rectangular.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

Sorry.

[Brian Green]

Which is funny, actually. That's. It's probably why he's still alive, because they didn't ask him to sing the song. So they take him, and then they grab his ATM card and he's. They're taking out, you know, thousands of dollars across these ATMs. And finally, at some point, under the grace of God, you know, the universe, the universal energy, karma, whatever, they let them go unharmed, which is like the best part of that story. But he wanted to share that this has happened to him and his family and that it was a really stressful and intense dramatic situation. So then he goes on the H3 podcast. So now my thought was, okay, now I need to reach out to him, because now he's got like, let's hear this story in its full. Without brevity. Let's hear the full thing. But H3 podcast gets to him sooner, and they're probably the better podcast to do this anyway. So. Okay, so he puts out the H3 podcast and. And they. He explains the whole story. How crazy is that? I mean, how insane? Have you ever. Have you ever been traveling in a strange country when something insane happened and you didn't know what to do?

[Kristen Joy Odley]

No. So I don't want that to happen.

[Brian Green]

I'm not talking about kidnapping, just like some kind of event where you were like, oh, you know, I'm in a strange land. I'm in a foreign land. I don't know what to do.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

I'm trying to think. No, no, I've had good experience.

[Brian Green]

Okay, that's good.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

Knock, knock. That being said, I'm going to Jamaica in a few weeks, and they just.

[Brian Green]

Got upgraded to level three, as did what Was it Bahamas? Nassau?

[Kristen Joy Odley]

Well, they got upgraded to two.

[Brian Green]

Well, I thought they had, like, 18 murders in the capital in the last three months.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

So when I. When Astrid and I were in France, I already told the story that we were there. We left the day before the Bataclan shootings and that we were in that part of Paris and that we had visited. Visited the. One of the cafes where some of the shooting had gone down. And that was a pretty, like, surreal experience. And my heart goes out to anyone that was affected by that tragedy. I'm just sharing the story that I was there. I was close. It felt real. It felt intense when I. When I was watching it on tv. But there was another part of our trip to Paris that I haven't shared. When Astrid and I got there, when Astrid and I were separated in the sense that we were long distance.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

Right.

[Brian Green]

Astrid was living in Switzerland, and she knew that I was going to come to Switzerland and then we're going to travel down to Paris. So she said, let me take care of it. You know, give me your credit card information. I'll take care of arranging everything. Right. And she just, you know, we talked.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

She's really good at that.

[Brian Green]

Really good at that. Very organized. She'll find a good place. So Astrid picks the Hyatt La Congre, which means at the Congress, right? The French Congress, the Parisian Congress, which is right close to the Eiffel Tower. It's like within a mile, a mile and a half of the Eiffel Tower. And she picks a room where we can have a view of the Eiffel.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

Tower at the Hyatt.

[Brian Green]

It is like, I am just thinking to myself, the Hyatt. I'm sure we can't go wrong. We're going to have a view of the Eiffel Tower. Yeah. How better to. What a better room to be in when you're in Paris. So we get. We take a train. We get to the train station, we take a cab. We're pulling up to the Hyatt. And the Hyatt is a big round building sitting on the back of the Congressional Building there. Huge round building, big old hotel. Big old, you know, conference hotel. The lobby is grand. It's huge. It's like. Like three football fields. This incredible lobby that you walk into. And I am just so excited because I like a good hotel, right? I'm like, oh, look at this, look at us. There's the Eiffel Tower.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

We're in love.

[Brian Green]

Here's the lake.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

Lobby. At the Hyatt. You may expect Us for the. These kinds of things for the rest of your life.

[Brian Green]

Yes, I. Astrid, you can expect this for the next two weeks. I gotta get some cocaine driving me crazy. And we walk in, we get there, the lady checks us in. How you doing? Welcome. Where you from? Congratulations. Ever been here? Here's all the things. You, seventh floor this, 12th floor that, you know, rooftop bar. You're in good hands here. It is a circular hotel. It's, you know, built like a circle. Right.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

Like the Weston down here and.

[Brian Green]

Correct. Yeah. Yep. So we go to the elevators, and the first thing that you notice is that the elevators maybe have not been updated since 1972. They are tiny. They are tiny. And they are.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

That's Europe, though I feel general. A lot of older.

[Brian Green]

Yes.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

Buildings.

[Brian Green]

Yes. And the elevators are known to be very small, as are sometimes the rooms over there. Because it's just. They're not American. They don't like everything big and bad. They just need a bed and a. And a toilet. Right.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

People used to be smaller, too.

[Brian Green]

Those French people are small. They don't need. They don't need all the room that we do. So we go up to whatever floor we get out, and, you know, it's a little elevator area in the middle. And then you literally can walk in a circle around the entire thing in the hallway. So they open this room. There's a guy there to show us it. And when they open it up, it's like. It is two beds. Two tiny little beds. A tiny little room, a tiny little window, a tiny little bathroom. There is blood stains on the floor, and I'm not even kidding about this. It looks like blood stains on the floor. The carpet is gross. It smells badly like cigarette smoke because I'm sure the people smoked in there for years and years and years. The ceilings are like, you know, seven foot three. So you're, like. It feels like you're. You're being enclosed in a little box. Now, I know I'm being a little bratty about this, but that's just me. I'm a little bratty about some of these things. So I am. So I open the window, right? It's this tiny little window. And, yes, you can see the Eiffel Tower. If you twist your. If you open the window and twist your head outside of it a little bit, we're, like, on the opposite side of it, so you can see it and there is a view, but it is not exactly the view we were thinking it was.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

Not just right in the middle, right there.

[Brian Green]

No, ma'. Am.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

In front of you.

[Brian Green]

No, ma'. Am. You would really have to strain and stress to see the Eiffel Tower. And it was a partial view. It's a partial view. And then the daytime, okay, I can kind of see it. And at night time, you can see a little better because it's all lit up. But anyway, anyway. So instantaneously. And you got to also understand is that Astrid and I are very much in love. I very much want to marry this woman, and I very much want to impress her on this trip to Paris. So we. So instantaneously, I'm a little hussy, fussy, right? I'm smoking cigarettes, I think, at the time. And I am.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

Oh, you went with the room. Then I need a cig right now.

[Brian Green]

I need a smoky. I need a smoky treat right now. So I'm instantaneously a little bit fussy. And she goes, oh, you know, I thought it was going to be a little bit nicer. I thought. And I said, hey, listen, don't worry, you know, how would you know it? The pictures look nice. It was an Eiffel Tower view. How would you know? No one would know. It's okay. I'm like, we're not gonna get all fluffed about this. It's gonna be a great vacation. We're gonna take it in stride. We're just here to sleep. That's it. La la. I'm downstairs and smoke a cigarette, and I am immediately going to talk to the manager is what I'm really thinking. I'm not going down to smoke a cigarette. I'm going to talk to the manager, not to be an American brat, but to see if I can get a different room. And I'll pay for it. I don't care. I'm gonna give him the Brian look, which Aster calls it the Brian look. Right. Where I magically make things happen by going, could you. I mean, that'd be really great of you. I mean, I don't want to take you, put you out or anything, but if you might, right? You get more flies with honey.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

Insist.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. If you insist on upgrading me to a suite for no money, then I insist on telling you how wonderful you are. Right? Yes. So I go down, I say, hey, listen, ma'. Am. I go back to the same lady. I say, ma', am, I love your hotel. It's super great. Those elevators. I mean, what a ride. And soft and sweet. I was. I was really happy that we could fit four of us in that tiny little elevator. I was imagining that there'd be A little bit more room. I was wondering if there was any way that you could find a suite for us or a junior suite or something along those lines. And listen, I'd really be happy to pay. I, I just didn't think it was going to be this small. And I also was hoping that we could get the beds together.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

Right, right.

[Brian Green]

That was the main thing. How we get the beds together. Oh, no problem is. Agree. Then she calls over the manager. The manager says, I don't want you to have a bad time when you're here, Mr. Green. This is your first time in Paris, you know, and give him the Brian look. And lo and behold, we've got a club level suite, junior suite. We'd be happy to give it to you. No additional charge. That's for you for your first time to periscope. You come back.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

Oh, that's sweet.

[Brian Green]

Okay, great. So I go back upstairs, do my smoky treat, go back upstairs, open the door, and I say, astrid, pack the bags.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

Exactly.

[Brian Green]

Moving on up. Right. And she goes, what did you do? And I go, I just gave him the Brian look. Don't worry about it. It's all good. We're just gonna go to a little bit of a bigger room. At least the beds together so we could, you know, consummate this relationship.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

They insisted.

[Brian Green]

They insisted. No extra charge. You know, she's. Oh, my God, I'm so sorry. I'm like, it's not your fault. How would you not like? I'm not worried. I'm not fluffed at you. I'm just. The hotel is different than we thought it was gonna be. Let's, let's get that junior suite guy comes up, takes our bags. We go up a couple floors. We're on the club level. Great. Wonderful. He opens the door. A junior suite is two of the rooms that we just left with a door in the middle that you have to open.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

That's a connected room.

[Brian Green]

It's a connected room, but the other connected room has one couch, additional blood stains, and a television. And a bathroom.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

It was the suite because then you could.

[Brian Green]

That's it. But I don't need a lounge area. I need two beds together. And I need to be with the girl that I'm here to stay with. Right. I, I, that's what I would like. I, I don't need a room to get away from her. I need a room to be with her. I mean, come on, guys. So now I'm like, okay, all right, Brian, you really gotta calm down. Right? And the view is a little Bit better in the second room. Little bit better in the second room. So I'm like, okay, Brian.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

At least there's that.

[Brian Green]

There's that. So we go out. Da, da da da da. We. We go out, we leave the hotel, we come back after, we have some dinner, and we walk around Paris for a couple of hours. And Astrid has gotten some hair dye so she can color her hair. So. Because I guess in Switzerland, where she lived, it wasn't like it was a trip to go get the hair dye. So she decided, I'll buy it here and I'll do it here. So I look good, right? And we're gonna.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

Okay, take pictures.

[Brian Green]

So we go up into the hotel room. She's like, I'm gonna dye my hair. And I'm like, great. I'm gonna go down for a smoky treat and talk to the manager. That's what I'm gonna do. I can't get it out of my head, right? I'm. So now I'm really starting to gear up, am I? This grinds. So I go down and I say, hey, Moofreire, I. I don't mean to be a bother or a pest. Concier. Don't mean to be a pain in your butt, but I do have to say that I. I wish that we had like a sweet suite, like a suite with one room. But, you know, there's many happy things going on.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

And the key word being too, do you have a king size bed?

[Brian Green]

That's what I said somewhere. I said, we still have this problem.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

We could go back to a smaller room. Just.

[Brian Green]

You can put me downstairs on the first floor next to the janitor's closet. If we could just have a bed together and a little bit of a view toward the Eiffel Tower, I would appreciate that. And he says, listen, the only other thing that we have is like, you know, presidential type suites. What they would call presidential type suites. And they are all taken for. Because the congress and session, the conference of the session, whatever. And I was like, oh, many, many presidents. Many, many presidents are here. We've got many presidents taking up our many suites. And I'm thinking to myself at this point, well, you know, okay, all right, so this is what I do. I walk away. I'm in the same lobby. There's almost no one in this lobby. There's like five or six people milling around, a couple people behind the desk. It's this huge lobby. And I go far enough so that they can't hear me. And I get on the phone, right? And I Get on the phone with Travelocity. I call their phone Travelocity. Good old Travelocity. They have a phone number, and you can call it it. And so are they still around? What's that? Are they still around? Oh, yeah. I just booked something on Travelocity the other day. I hope I can pay for it, but I just booked something on Travelocity.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

You don't have to pay until you check in.

[Brian Green]

Great.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

Perfect.

[Brian Green]

Great, perfect. Could I pay after I check out? Like, a couple days after?

[Kristen Joy Odley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

You don't mind? Yeah, I need a couple days to pay you back. It's all good. Don't worry about it. I'm good for it. Right. You can use this credit card number, but don't try it right now. And if they call, ask you to talk to me, tell them that I'm not available. So I'm behind, you know, this, like, stanchion of couches.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

Picturing behind, like, a plant.

[Brian Green]

It is. Yeah. I'm behind some planters and some couches. Right. I'm not, like, hiding, hiding, but I'm far enough away so that they can't hear what I'm saying. So I get on the phone with Travelocity and I say, yeah, listen, I know this is kind of weird, but I'm in a strange country, and I really don't know what I'm talking about. And so I need to find a hotel in Paris that is close to the Ark or something, you know, in this local area that we're in. I need. I need something.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

Yeah, because Paris is kind of situated by different neighborhoods.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, by different neighborhoods. You don't want to be in the wrong one.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

Right? That's what I've heard.

[Brian Green]

It's like every place, every big city in the world, you don't want to be in the wrong neighborhood. That's just like. That's just Paris. It's every city.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

Yeah, that.

[Brian Green]

And at the time, there was some upheaval going on. You just like. I just wanted to be mindful of where we were staying. I also want to be mindful that we didn't have a car, and I. We needed to walk or be able to get to whatever it is we had planned to do. So I get on the phone with this lady. I will never forget her name. Stacy. Stacy is like, listen, I'm not a Parisian expert, right? I don't know. But my best friend just got back from Paris, and she stayed there for, like, two weeks, and she had the best time. Let me text her.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

Let me talk with her.

[Brian Green]

Let me Text her. And I'm like, holy. Really? You're gonna text this girl and ask her on my behalf? I'm giving her the Brian look hard over the phone and apparently is making its way over there.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

Because she is like, I will text my friend, and I will ask her if she knows of any place, yada, yada, yada. This back and forth, back and forth.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

Amazing.

[Brian Green]

And so finally she says, listen, listen. My friend stayed at this hotel, but she. She walked to have cocktails at this other hotel, and sounds like this one fits the bill. It's newer. The rooms are bigger. They have king size. They have a courtyard you can overlook. They have free breakfast. Sounds lovely. It sounds lovely. And she's like. And it's in walking distance to the Ark. You can go. The Ark.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

You have it all.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, the Ark or the Champs Elysees. You're right there in the middle of it. All right, you can. It's. And she goes, and I found it. It. And we have it on here, and I could book it right now for you. Blah, blah, blah.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

Is it a smoking room?

[Brian Green]

Is it a smoking room? That's exactly. They're all smoking rooms, I think. I mean, some of them are, right? So. But I don't want to smoke in the room. So Stacy books this room for me, and I am so very excited that she has done this. She's booked a room from this time.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

Above and beyond service. I love hearing stories.

[Brian Green]

It is incredible. And I will always be in debt that to this particular person. Stacy, wherever you are at the Travelocity family, I hope you're still there. You did an amazing job. I actually wrote a letter to Travelocity about this.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

Oh, nice.

[Brian Green]

Because I thought it was just extraordinary how she helped me out when I had no clue where I was or what I needed to do. She found me a hotel that fit the bill in a safe neighborhood because she knew that this trip was important to me and my relationship because I told her the story. Because that's the Brian. You got to get him emotionally invested in what you're doing. Yeah. If you just say, I need a hotel. Right. You know, they're gonna be like, okay, Dick, you know, here's a Motel 6, you know, Quadrant 7, where you're gonna.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

Get drunk at the airport.

[Brian Green]

At the airport. Right. Right next to the Runway. You son of a. Okay, so now we've got that hotel booked, but we have a problem. We've got an additional 10 days at the Hyatt, and we're locked in. We've already Checked in. So what is there? What shall we do? Well, I'll tell you right after this break.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

Oh, man.

[Podcast Announcer]

Are you mindlessly scrolling Instagram right now? How about throwing us a follow he commercial break and also CB podcast on TikTok. Check out our website tcbpodcast.com to find absolutely everything you could ever want to know about us. And if you simply can't stay away, call us and leave us a voicemail at 626-ASKTCB-3. Or you can text us at 855-TCB8383-3. While you're contemplating divulging your life dramas to us, have a listen to our sponsors. You know you love me. X.O.X.O. gossip Girl.

[Brian Green]

Okay, so now where we left off, we've got the hotel collection air booked for the rest of our trip. King size. You're double booked now, club level. I'm double booked and I'm not going to Pay, you know, $3,000 here and $4,000 there. Whatever it was, I'm like, okay, this is. I got a problem now. I got a problem with my checkbook. I got a problem with this credit card. I don't think it's got that kind of limit on it. And so I've gather myself, I go up and I do the only thing that an honest, hardworking American would do. I lie.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

I say, listen, unfortunately, I think we're going to have to go back to the United States. There's problems at home and I don't know what to do. Travel back to the United States. I'm happy to talk to your manager and make a deal where I pay for a certain amount of nights because I know that I booked this a long time ago. And then maybe you cannot charge me for every single night. Right. Is there something that can be done? We're going to. And I told her, I told her, but most of the truth. I said, we're gonna move to another hotel until we make a decision about whether or not we need to go back or not. Just for the sake of being in a more convenient area, more comfortable. And listen, I think she already, I think she understood. Yeah, right. She understood. Understood. He just came up here. He's, you know, he wants a king size. We don't have it. What are we going to do? Right? That's two. Pushing two small beds together. Maybe that's not his thing. Okay. And it's not like when you push the two small beds together, it comes together as a nice, neat little king. No, it comes together as a small Queen. And the headboards are sideways, right? They fall off the wall. It's like. It's just not the most convenient thing in the world. And a lot of hotels in Europe will do this. They'll push them together and put a mattress top on it. But that has not happened at this hotel. So I'm like, fuck me, me. So she says, she gets the manager over and they're all talking in some, you know, in French.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

In French, in some language.

[Brian Green]

Some languages I don't understand in Paris. And the lady comes back, the manager comes back and she says, Mr. Green, we want you to have a good time. We hope you come back. We know that this didn't fit your needs this time, and I hope everything's at home. Back okay? Back okay. At home. Where are you going next? What's the next hotel? And I said, I'm gonna go to the lake collection there. And she says, it's a beautiful hotel. It's a wonderful hotel. I know it was. Well. And she goes, okay, here's what I'm gonna do. I'm not gonna charge you for any of the nights if you leave tomorrow by 10am and I was like, what? And she's like, I'm gonna refund all your money. And I'm sorry, it just didn't work out this time. Maybe, you know, I. I think we're getting a renovation soon and hopefully you'll come back at a future trip. And I was like, wow. Okay. All right. I like the style.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

If you insist.

[Brian Green]

Insist. Now we're talking. It's one o' clock in the morning now. I've been gone for a full hour. Astrid's up there dyeing her hair, texting me furiously, and I'm just not responding because I'm on the phone with everybody. Yeah. Are you okay? Is everything okay? You went down for a smoke two hours ago. So I come running upstairs like a beam of sunshine. I break open the door and I go, honey, pack your bags. Tomorrow morning, 10am we're going to the Lake Electionaire. And she's like, what? And I'm like, babe, I don't even want to get into the story, but I'm telling you what, I gave him the Brian look. I worked a little magic. Little jizzy drizzle. Little like Jizzy Jeff would do. Yeah, yeah, he's good at that stuff, too. So I said, said, hey, hey, listen, babe, we're going to go to another hotel. I just think it would be better for our trip. We're here for 10 days. Just if we at least if we can sleep together, right? At least we can be together in the same bed without having to move the furniture. And so. So she says, yes, honey, okay? And she looks worried, and I'm like, but what's wrong? I thought that would be a good. Good news. She's like, that's really good news. But there's bad news. And I was like, what's the bad news? And she's like, I dyed my hair on the white marble and it's not coming out. And I was like, what? And she's like, it's not coming out. And I'm like, what do you mean it's not coming out? And she's like, I spilled the dye and it's not coming off of the marble. It's soaked into the marble. It's not coming out. And I go in there and it looks like literally like my daughter had split her head open and poured blood all over this, and it won't come out. And so now I'm freaking out because I'm like, oh, now we're getting charged for the. Sure. For the marble.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

Exactly.

[Brian Green]

Right. Okay.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

For the whole renovation of the room now.

[Brian Green]

Yes. Fast forward. Now. It's two or three in the morning, and I have to go downstairs and I have to say, listen, I'm really sorry, but my wife was dyeing her hair.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

You've been up and down.

[Brian Green]

I know. I'm now a friends. I've been up and down the elevator that goes 2 miles per hour. And we're like on the 38th floor. So I'm spend 30. 30 minutes getting up and down each time. And that's if you can get the elevator. So I'm like, I'm really sorry about this. I swear to God, even though I didn't stay there and it wasn't my favorite hotel in the world, these people could not have been nicer. They were like, like, don't worry about it. And I'm like, it's not coming out. Do I. Do you have any cleaning solution or something I can try and get it?

[Kristen Joy Odley]

Probably had.

[Brian Green]

She was like, listen, we have some kind of magic something that can get that out. Don't worry about it. There's been worse. You know, we've had all. I said, yeah, I know.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

Clean our.

[Brian Green]

Did you see the blood stains on the floor? We did a great job with that.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

Right?

[Brian Green]

And we covered it up with piss and vinegar. You know what I'm saying? I said, okay, all right. Right. 10:00am we get out, we go to the lake collection there. We. It's just the most amazing hotel. It's the most beautiful, shining, amazing hotel. This is all coming back to what happened that made me uncomfortable in Paris. Okay. And I say this because I thought it was a good story to tell while I was, like, piggy fronting off of the story.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

Yes.

[Brian Green]

So that night, Astrid and I decide. So we check in, we get settled, everything's great. We're on the club level. We can go to this, like, little club area. And it's overlooking the Parisian streets. It's just beautiful. Everything's just beautiful in this hotel. It's lovely. It's perfect. It's exactly what wanted. And. And. And Astrid, too. And so at night, we get dressed up, we're ready to go. We're going to go hit the town. We're going to go find a place near the shop. The lights, the city, the smells, the lovely.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

It's a city of love.

[Brian Green]

Yes. It's amazing. Loved Paris. So we get out. We go to take a. We ask the guy, hey, where, you know, where's the. How can we get to this nice restaurant? Yeah, take over this way, take a left. You know, it's a couple blocks down the street. You're going to love it. Okay. So we start walking, and about 50ft past the hotel is a. One of those green crosses signifying that there's a pharmacy back there or a medical facility.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

Pharmacia.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, pharmacia. That's in Spain, right? Les pharmacy. I don't know, but those green signs are everywhere in Europe and they mean some kind of medical attention can be gotten there. Right? Or a pharmacy or whatever. It's like the universal sign for medical care there or medicine.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

The greens cross.

[Brian Green]

The green cross. Okay, the lit up green cross. Right. And so we're walking and I just noticed the pharmacy. I noticed this man walking out of the pharma. Whatever it is. Pharmacy, medical place, whatever it is. He's walking out, and he's an older gentleman, but he's spry. He's walking out, and I just. I'm talking to Astor, and I kind of got my eye on him because he's crossing in front of us. So I'm. You know, you're doing that. You're judging that thing. Should I slow down? Should I speed up? Do I really crash into each other? What's going on? And he walks toward the street, and he walks in between two cars. And as he walks in between two cars, he just goes down. Oh, he just goes down. But he didn't trip. He just goes down he just passed out. He's got a long coat on, It's a little chilly. He just. Boom.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

Oh.

[Brian Green]

Goes down, hits his head. And I'm like, what just happened? So I run a couple steps ahead, right? There was also a guy standing on a wall smoking a cigarette. He also comes. He doesn't speak a lick of English. I don't speak a lick of French. Astrid's got some French in her vocabulary, but Asher's kind of freaking out because of what she said, right.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

It's shock.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. And so I turn the guy over. Me and this other guy turned the guy over. And he is D E A D what? He is not breathing. He is not okay. He. Something has happened. He has had a major heart attack right there. He fell out. It was amazing how quickly this happened. He was walking perfectly normal. And then the next moment he is not. Because the guy put the. His hands on the guy's neck.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

And then. And then I. I could. Was. Was looking for breathing, right? None of that was happening. The guy was like, I die. Whatever he's saying. And so I run into the pharmacy because I don't know what number to call emergency wise in France either. I don't know. Got 999, 222, 777. I'm not really sure, right. So I run Green Cross. Okay, let me run in there. So I run in there. There's two guys in lab coats, right? Standing around, kind of doing whatever. I don't know if it's a pharmacy or an emergency care or a doctor or whatever. And I'm like, someone passed out out there. Someone had a heart attack, you know, not going like this. And they're like, you know, And I'm like, I'm trying to communicate. Yeah. So I'm. That's what I'm doing. I'm come. I go like this, heart attack, heart attack man outside, you know? And they're like befuddled because they don't understand a word I'm saying. And I'm like, oh, right. What do I do? So now I go and I open the door and I'm like, guy outside, medicine needs help, right? So finally one of them kind of caught on that like something was happening, he needed to be out there. Yeah. So he runs out there and as soon as he gets down with the guy, then he is saying in French. And we know this because Astrid kind of translated a little bit. Someone call emergency services, right? We need an ambulance. Ambulance. Whatever it is, call them. Call them. Well, I don't know. I Don't know who to call. I don't know how to call. No, I'm kind of looking now. There's a couple people around, right? I'm kind of looking around, like, you call? You call? Yeah. Can you call? Yeah. And they're all like, what are you talking about? What do you want me to do? Can you call Chrissy? I didn't know what to do. This poor man on the ground, I didn't know what to do. I know how to give cpr, but there's lots of people around him right now, and I. I don't know if CPR is the appropriate thing to do because I can't understand what they're saying. I don't know if it's. If he's had a heart attack, if he's having trouble breathing, if he needs cpr. Does he need the paddles? I don't know. Where are the paddles? Where are the. Where's the aed? I have no. I don't even know how to call. Fucking.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

Why was everybody looking to you to.

[Brian Green]

They weren't. Well, because I'm the big, strong American. I'm the cowboy. I'm John fucking Wayne. Yeah, I gave him the Brian look, look. Unfortunately, the guy's dead. What do you want me to do? I can't work that kind of magic. I get you a free hotel room, but I can't get you back to life. I can't do that. I was so freaked out and I felt absolutely helpless in this moment. This poor bastard fell out in front of me. And Astrid and another human being are the only three that witnessed what happened. And I cannot communicate at all what's going on to anybody, including. I don't even know how to call for. I was lucky to get those two guys in lab coats out the door because they were literally confused at what I was saying. They were like, what is he talking like they literally had their hands up in the air. I don't know. I don't know what you're talking about. Yeah, this is a terrifying experience.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

And the adrenaline's just popping and the.

[Brian Green]

Whole thing, you cannot even imagine how high I was. But not in a good way. Because in America or in an English speaking country or in Spain where I could speak some Spanish or understand Spanish, I would have at least been able to help take action. But in this case, I was paralyzed by the fact that I was in a strange land with strangers and we didn't understand each other.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

Yeah. And you didn't know how to call for help.

[Brian Green]

So I Bring this back to Sean's. Oh, Sean is his name. I bring this back to Sean's music. I mean, Sean's kidnapping story. How terrifying. I was a guy who witnessed something happening, trying to help someone where there was no violence, no threat of violence, nothing like that was going on. On. Right. I Only for a brief moment that I think maybe this guy has gotten shot and we did not hear it and something like that. But it quickly became apparent that there was no blood coming out of anywhere except for his head, where he hit his head. Yeah. And that was not a gunshot. Right. I knew that immediately. I can't even imagine what it would be like to have some. Some strangers screaming and yelling at you and you could pretty much infer that what they wanted to do was not nice. And you have no idea. There's no one to call. There's no help. There's. You don't even understand the language. Terrifying. Absolutely terrifying. So that's. This has been a nice episode. There's no comedy to this. I'm just sharing. I watched this. This. This guy.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

Listeners can. Can share your terrifying story.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. I mean, if you have a story or two, we'd love to hear it. Oh, yeah, you know, that's. That's a good. That's a good, good, like, content idea. Tell me your most terrifying story. When you felt helpless internationally, Right. You were traveling internationally. Something happened and you had. You had no idea what to do because it wasn't your home turf. You didn't understand. You don't have to be, you know, from the United States of America to tell me the story either. You can be from another country in the United States of America and being terrified.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

We have some listeners over in Great Britain.

[Brian Green]

We had a lot of listeners in a lot of places. Great Britain, Canada. Yeah. India. India. Because we had Veer on and we picked up quite a few Indian listeners actually.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

Welcome.

[Brian Green]

What's that?

[Kristen Joy Odley]

Welcome.

[Brian Green]

Welcome to you. Hello. Welcome. Welcome. Welcome, welcome. Who is that? That was the alien light language girl too, wasn't it? Yeah, that was the girl who said welcome like 30 times in the first minute and a half of her video.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

Welcome.

[Brian Green]

Welcome, welcome, welcome. Anyway, Chrissy, it was like. It was a really.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

What happened?

[Brian Green]

Kind of weird moment. No, the ambulance came, okay. And they took him away very quickly. Quickly. And I can only assume.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

And you and Astrid skipped on down the street towards your restaurant reservation.

[Brian Green]

We had a lovely dinner, actually. I think we missed the reservation. And so we ended up going to, like, somewhere on the champs. Like some patio on the shop and Having a way overpriced meal. It wasn't all that great, but. But yeah. Yeah.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

And then that was all you could talk about at the dinner.

[Brian Green]

I tried to keep it low key because Aster's not into that kind of stuff. Like, I think that really freaks her out. Right. So I tried not to, like, harp on it. But I'll tell you what, I wasn't very hungry because I had a ton of adrenaline just coursing through me. I just. That. That was that.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

I love the cafe.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. Do you have any marmalade? Marmalade. That's good for adrenaline, right? Yeah. Okay. All right. That's right. I'll take one of those Claire's, though. I need those anytime. Oh, croissant. A croissant with Nutella. That's what you want. Croissant with Nutella or a. What do they call those? The pancakes.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

Oh, yeah. Crepe.

[Brian Green]

Crepe. A crepe with Nutella pancakes. A grape with Nutella. That is the jam. Crepe. Nutella. Strawberries.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

I've got to go. It's on my list to go.

[Brian Green]

You got to go. The to.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

But then every time I think about going to Europe, I just want to get back to Italy.

[Brian Green]

Italy's beautiful. No doubt about it. But Paris is a. I'm thinking about going to Norway.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

I'll tell you more about that later.

[Brian Green]

Okay, well, then you and Jizzy Jeff.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

Bringing your naked. Your naked sides of attraction over to Norway. I think it's. I think it's just, like, readily accepted that people are going to be naked in Norway. This is like a naked plunging and diving and stuff.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

That's what we're planning on.

[Brian Green]

All right. I listen tcbpodcast.com that's where you go. You find out more information about Chrissy and I. All the show notes, all the audio, all the video right there. One location. You can also get your free piggy fronting sticker. Hit the contact us button.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

I have seen it and you're gonna love it.

[Brian Green]

You're gonna love it. The free piggy fronting sticker at the contact us button. Give us your physical address. 626 Ask TCB. The number three. That's 1-626-ASK-TCB and the number three. Three. Text us comments, questions, content, ideas. Ask Brian's mom. Ask for our advice. Leave us a voicemail. If you're anything that brave. Anything. Just however you want to communicate with us. At the commercial break on Instagram, TCB podcast on tick tock and YouTube.com the commercial break. Thanks, Dr. Phil. No problem, Brian. This is gonna be a changing day in your life. All right, Chrissy. I think that's all I can do for right now.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

Think so.

[Brian Green]

But I'll tell you that I love you.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

And I love you.

[Brian Green]

I'll say best to you.

[Kristen Joy Odley]

Best to you.

[Brian Green]

Best to you out there in the podcast universe. Listen to us on Odyssey until next time. We always say, we do say, and we must say good goodbye. You like restaurants?